Fall to Pieces by spike4buffy
Summary: As Tragedy strikes Buffy's life. How will she cope with losing everything. And can the one person who matters most ever forgive her.
Categories: General Fics Characters: None
Genres: Romance, Angst
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Completed: No Word count: 2329 Read: 10185 Published: 07/24/2007 Updated: 10/04/2007

1. Mad World by spike4buffy

2. Goodbye My Lover by spike4buffy

Mad World by spike4buffy
Author's Notes:
Hi guys new story PLEASE REVIEW :D

ANGST AHEAD.. just a lil warning
Disclaimer: As all of you should know (I hope) Btvs/Ats
and it’s characters do not belong too me. They belong to the FANTABULOUS Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy who have created the most memorable shows in the world.
And remember this is made for entertainment purposes only. No profit being made here.

Fall to Pieces

~ Chapter 1 ~

Mad World

Every Wednesday night the Bronze had open-mic night. Believe it or not in the small town of Sunnydale there was a lot of musical talent. But this Wednesday night the crowd was a lot more somber then usual. There was no loud music being played and a lot of people were looking at this one girl in sympathy.

A small blonde haired woman makes her way up on to the stage. As people looked who was taking the stage they saw who it was and all immediately quieted down to allow this girl her time on the stage.

People thought she didn't see the faces people were aiming at her. But she could feel it everywhere she went now. Whether they are looks of Sympathy or glares coming from across the room. She could feel them... and it was killing her.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad world

The Bronze was eerily quiet as she sang this song. Everyone knew what had happened to this woman.

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me

Even if you weren’t watching this women sing. You could tell from the emotion in her voice that she was crying.

Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very

The emotion she gave was incredible. And more than a few crowd members had tears in their eyes.

Mad World
Mad World
Enlarging your world
Mad World.

As the music drowned out the only noise that could be heard was of the young women's sobs as she left the stage. The crowd all stared and before any of them had a chance to go talk to her she was out of there.

Her friends looked at her as she left and wondered if she'll ever be the same again.
“… I don’t even know what too say to her anymore”.
“ Willow she’s still the Buffy we know and love it’s just its, ga-ganna take some time for her to grieve. Think about it Will she lost everyone. Including the baby.”
“ Baby, I know I can’t imagine how hard this must be for her. I swear to god if I ever see that bastard Spike again I will kill him.”
“Will, spikes in pain too. Although I don’t agree with the decisions he has made remember he is grieving too.”
“ But it wasn’t Buffy’s fault. He completely blames Buffy for everything. She knows she made a mistake probably the worst mistake she’ll ever make. And she will have to live with this for the rest of her life and Spike doing what he did is only making it worse. I know he is hurting too but imagine the pain she must be in.”


As Buffy walked down the back alley away from the Bronze she decided to take the scenic route home. And as she reached the park she realized what a mistake it was to take this route.

Buffy fell too the ground as her sobs got louder and louder. For all Buffy saw when she looked at the park was Spike and her pushing their beautiful baby boy on the swings. But she knew this was not meant too be. And she had no one to blame but herself for if she hadn’t been so angry that night she might have being paying attention to the traffic lights and she mightn’t of lost the two most important things to her, Her baby and eventually Spike.

What he said to her the last time she saw him still rings in her ears ‘ I Hate you. You killed our son… I look at you… and I feel Sick’.

Song: Gary Jules – Mad World’ I love this song and thought it fit too how Buffy must be feeling.

Authors Note: Hey guys I know I haven’t updated Sunnydale Boarding School in a while but I am finding it really hard to decide what direction to take it in. If anyone has any ideas please email me.

This is my new story the idea kind of came to me this morning and I have more of a plan of where this story is going so I hope I will update soon. But any suggestions you guys might have please I would love to hear.

I was thinking of having a villain but I don’t know if I should have a second story line. Tell me what you guys think.

Also this story may be PRETTY ANGSTY I’m not sure yet. Although it is dealing with a lot of issues so id say Angst ahead. But nobody panic. There will be Spuffy but I think you can tell there’s going to be a lot of issues to get through before I can even think about happy Spuffy. Although there may be flashbacks. I’m hoping to make this story a really long on so don’t expect Happy Spuffy next chapter.
Also any song suggestions that you think reflect the characters emotions I would love to hear. I’m hoping to include a song in every chapter and if there’s any betas out there I really would love one… please Email me.
Goodbye My Lover by spike4buffy
Author's Notes:
New chapter up. and i still love reviews XD
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

After Buffy had managed to pull herself together she headed home. Although lately it hadn’t been feeling like a home. Buffy and Spike had bought it together to raise their family in. The nursery was already decorated and everything. Often Buffy would find herself going to sleep, crying on the rocking chair in the nursery.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when

As Buffy unlocked the door she found an envelope on the floor inside. One the front was written ‘Buffy, My Love’. She instantly recognized it as Spike’s handwriting. But before opening it she decided to change into her Yummy Sushi Pj’s as they always comfort her and she grabbed a box of tissues, preparing for the waterworks.

My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

She slowly opened the envelope and breathed in the scent deeply as she could still smell the scent of Spike on it. It smelt like leather, Tobacco and what could be old spice.
‘Here it goes’ she said to herself.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

Dear Buffy,

Thinking back now I see how much I hurt you with my harsh words, and I know the fact I was drunk doesn’t in any way excuse what I said. The most important thing I feel you must know is that I do not blame you. It was an accident and I hold no blame on you. However I think I blamed myself for the accident and unfortunately and unforgivably took my anger out on you.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I know how much you’re hurting ‘cos I feel the same luv. I’m writing you this letter as my apology and goodbye. I don’t want to leave luv but I feel this is something I must do, for a while anyway.

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I don’t know when ill be back but please know this and never forget this. I Love You, I love you as much as I did the first day we met and will never stop loving you. It’s selfish of me to ask you to wait for me.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

I just want to see you happy again and if that’s with another man hopefully I will be able to understand and luv don’t forget who knows what the future holds.

Your Love for always
William Pratt
Or Your Spike xoxoxo

P.S. Remember I will always find you

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

‘Oh God, is this what dying feels like? Please don’t leave me. You promised you’d be the one who would never leave me. Why does everyone always leave me? What is wrong with me?’

This was the last thing Buffy remembered thinking as everything else after that felt like a dream. A horrible dream, that wouldn’t end.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

She stayed on the couch all night. Crying thinking she couldn’t possibly have any more tears after what she had been through but she kept finding more. The worst part was she knew he was already gone. He wasn’t waiting somewhere for her to come to him. He had left there was no doubt in that. So now all Buffy had left was the memories and the small hope that one-day maybe he will return to her.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

‘Please Please come back to me. I can’t do this on my own’.

Author's Note: I know a lot of you found this story really angsty and you thought Spike was a jackass but hopefully this chapter gives you an insight into Spikes feeleings as i think he can redeem himself. Also the song used was Goodbye My Lover by the wonderful james blunt.

Im under the word limit so im just going to blab on here.
i got my buffy clock today off of ebay which im loving except for the fact i cant sleep with the ticking noise lol so thats a lil impractical. I also found the buffy xbox game yesterday and bought it... now i just got to get myself an xbox lol.

Now im just going to leave some lyrics from another James Blunt song which i LOVE

I would call you up every saturday night
And we'd both stay out 'til the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing, "Here we go again"

Wish I was sober
So I could see clearly now
The rain has gone

I guess it's over
My memory plays our tune
The same old song

I would call you up every saturday night
And we'd both stay out 'til the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing, "Here we go again"

Thats 1973 and i kind of love it more then i should lol

So i should be updating soon as i have figured the direction i am going in with this story so until next update XD

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