Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all the reviews...I really do hope people are still liking the story since some of my old reviewers seem to ahve gone away :

Thank you, though, to all of the new people reviewing....,
Oh and the VK winners are announced tomorrow (hey, it's my only nomination at all I'm allowed to know the dates)...anyway, I want to congratulate everyone who's going to win :-)

And I've reformatted my comptuer so now I'm just working on findig all my fic files and getting some new writing done :)
Chapter 33

They decided that Angel would have someone draw up the divorce papers and Buffy and her lawyer would come down to his office that Monday morning to go over the terms and sign them.

”That went relatively well. Don’t you think?” William was starting to get worried; Buffy hadn’t said anything since they’d left the house. And they were now both back at their cars, he wanted to talk to her before they left.

He turned towards his car and started to get in when she didn’t say anything and just stood there, seemingly contemplating something, only to be stopped by her hand on his arm.

And she did the last thing he was expecting her to do after those conversations. She kissed him. A real, live, tingle in your toes kiss.

It felt like fire, it felt like Heaven, it felt like his first kiss, it felt like his best kiss, it felt like coming home…it felt like everything good in the world was centered in this little bit of a girl kissing him.

He honestly couldn’t figure out how somebody so small could evoke all of these feelings within him. And-

And all rational thoughts left him when she brushed her tongue ever so delicately against his lips. He tried to control himself, knowing somewhere in his mind that they were standing in her driveway and for all her neighbors knew, she was still married—and not to him.

Buffy apparently didn’t like him holding onto the last bit of his self control, she pushed herself up against him more, seemingly encouraged by his growing erection, instead of well, discouraged like he’d thought she would be.

Finally he just gave in and with a groan, reciprocated the kiss, letting her tongue in to stroke against his, setting him off even more. He didn’t know how long he’d be able to stick to this. He was going to have to have her…and soon.

Finally breaking himself from his jumbled, lust driven thoughts when he felt her leg snake up his, pulling him closer to her, Spike realized they were about to take this too far. Both for the place and for them.

It took him several seconds to pull away from her, she didn’t’ seem to want to give him up just yet. “Buffy, luv,” he whispered when he was finally able to get some distance between them. When she tried to move in for another kiss, he put his hands on her shoulders, trying to lightly hold her back, “Luv, we can’t do this now. Not only because this isn’t really the right time to do this, at the risk of sounding like a poofter, we do need to talk…and it’s also not the right place. For all your neighbors know you and Angel are still married—really don’t’ want to start gossip about you.”

“I guess you’re right…Give me a ride back to my mom’s house so I can talk to Sam?”

“Um, pet, not that I don’t love the idea, but isn’t your car right there?” he asked, pointing to the car behind his.

“I meant what I said, I don’t want his money or anything he bought me. I’m not going to give him anything to hold over me in this.”

“Don’t you need a car though?”

”I can borrow mom’s for stuff like the grocery store and stuff, then on Monday I can take a cab to the lawyer’s. And you’ll be there for Sam’s stuff, so I don’t have to drive her to school. And I hope to get enough money for a car soon. And there are always cheap used cars.”

He didn’t think he’d let her know it just yet, but he wasn’t going to let her buy some cheap, unsafe unused car. He’d buy them a car if it came to that. Or let her borrow his.

“Alright, your chariot awaits m’ lady.”

*(*(*(*I*)*)*)*

“Sam, sweetie? Can mommy talk to you for a minute?” Buffy asked as she walked into the guest room that Sam was currently staying in.

“Sure,” Sam said from her seat on the bed. She’d been looking at a book that her grandmother had given her earlier.

“Sam, honey,” Buffy sat crossed legged at the end of the bed, facing Sam, “I have something I need to tell you. Did you see how a lot of your stuff is here now? That we brought all of your clothes and toys with us?”

“Uh huh,” she had looked up from her book.

“Well, sweetie, you and I are going to be living with grandma for awhile, then I think we’re going to get our own house.” She knew she was probably screwing this up. She almost wished William were there, he was always so good with the words, but she knew she needed to do this alone. If Sam got upset, she might hate William if he were there for it.

“Is Daddy going to come stay with us?”

“No, cupcake, he’s going to stay at our old house. He and I aren’t going to live together anymore. Do you know what a divorce is Sammy?”

“It means you’re not married right?”

”Yeah, it means that mommy and daddy won’t be married anymore. So he’ll stay at our old house and we’ll stay here. You’re going to stay living with me, but you can still see Daddy sometimes if you want.”

“Is it because Daddy doesn’t like me?” Sam asked neutrally.

“No! Oh, sweetie, this is because Mommy and Daddy weren’t the right people to be married to each other. We both still love you so much,” Okay, so that was a tiny bit of a lie…”And I don’t want you to think it’s your fault at all. Mommy and Daddy just need to do this to be happy.”

“Okay. Is William still going to do my school?”

”Yeah, we’ll do school here from now on, but William will still be your teacher.”

“Okay. And can I talk to Daddy sometime?”

“Whenever you want, you just let me know.”

“Okay! Did you see the book grandma gave me?” Sam didn’t really see much of a difference in the new situation. She really didn’t see her dad anyway, except for sometimes at dinner, but then she went to bed right away. And he didn’t do stuff with her. Even if her mommy said so, she didn’t think her daddy loved her very much.

She decided to just decide if she liked it later, now she wanted to show her mom her new book. “Isn’t the princess pretty?”

*(*(*(*I*)*)*)*

Buffy was worried about Sam.

She wasn’t sure how exactly she’d expected her daughter to react, but she had expected her to react somehow, the quiet, almost acceptance had her worried.

Buffy wanted to call William, ask him if she should be worried, ask him to come talk to Sam, ask him to come just be with her…..but she couldn’t.

She’d just left her husband and she needed some time of her own to react.

And she realized then, she and Sam were having the same reaction. Either they were both in shock, or Angel had really been that invisible as a part of their family.

But even before she was done thinking it, she knew the answer.

He hadn’t been there.

Even Sam knew that.

Now all she needed to do was figure out how exactly she and William were going to proceed

*(*(*(*I*)*)*)*

About an hour later Buffy hung up the phone. Either Angel had already talked to his lawyer and he’d had some sense talked into him, or he’d had enough time to remember himself.

She now had an appointment scheduled for eleven o’clock the next morning. An appointment that she now had to figure out how to explain to Sam. An appointment that she had to talk to William about.

An appointment for a paternity test on Sam.

Oh joy.

*(*(*(*I*)*)*)*

“Mom,” She walked into the kitchen, several minutes later, still very nervous. “Do you think you could help me figure out how to do something?”

“Of course, honey. What is it?” Joyce asked.

“Well, you see, Angel wants a paternity test…and he wants it tomorrow. I’m trying to do things easily so he doesn’t put up a fight about custody, so I didn’t postpone it. But now, now I have to tell William and somehow explain what’s going to happen, to Sam—not why mind you, but what. And I don’t know how to do that.”

“Just explain to her that you have a doctors appointment for her tomorrow. As far as I know they won’t do anything besides maybe get some blood from her, or maybe a cheek swab. That’s not all that different from a doctor’s appointment, so….”

“Okay, that sounds like it will work. I’m sorry I had to ask, I think that I’m just not thinking very well right now. It’s been a busy 24 hours and I think I’m still getting my head around the fact that I just left my husband. And now this….I just don’t want to mess up for her, mommy.” Buffy was crying again. “I don’t know if I told her about the divorce right and I don’t know if I should tell her anything about William yet and I…I…I just don’t want to do anything wrong. But it’s so hard.”

“Oh sweetheart, you’re doing great. This is a lot to go through—especially as quickly as you are. And getting a divorce is a big deal.” Joyce reassured her, pulling Buffy in for a hug and rubbing her back, trying to soothe her.

”But I don’t even love him—don’t even like him,” Buffy said with a bitter laugh.

“Even the idea of getting a divorce, knowing that you’re going to have a ‘failed marriage’ and be a divorcee, it’s hard. It’s okay to be scared Buffy, this is a hard thing to do. Just remember that I’m here for you.”

“And William.”

“And William what?” Joyce wasn’t entirely sure she understood what Buffy meant.

“William’s here for me too,” she clarified.

“Buffy,” Joyce knew she’d have to tread carefully, “What exactly are you and William?”

“I don’t know mom, I just don’t know.”


TBC………………





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