And now, more smut...enjoy!


Chapter Seventeen ~ Painted on My Heart

“ I’ve tried everything that I can to get my heart to forget you, but it just can’t seem to.
I guess it’s just no use – in every part of me, there’s still a part of you.
I’ve still got your face painted on my heart, drawn upon my soul,
etched upon my memory, Baby. And I got your kiss still burning on my lips,
the touch of your fingertips are still so deep inside of me, Baby.
…Something in your eyes keeps haunting me.
I’m trying to escape you, but I know there ain’t no way to chase you from my mind…”

~ The Cult


There was no sleep to be had this night. All he could think about was her. And how seriously he had cocked it all up in the space of a single evening.

*A hundred and twenty odd years and I still know sweet fuck all about women.*

Spike shook his head and drank from bottle number two for the night. The unfortunate thing was that he was seriously drunk – but not drunk enough. He was beginning to wonder if it was possible for him to EVER get drunk enough to forget Buffy – even temporarily. He had his doubts. Possibly maybe, if he made it to the black out stage. He was more than willing to give it a go.

The problem was; everything they’d done that night was burned into his brain, and no amount of alcohol seemed to erase it. Whenever he closed his eyes he was set upon by vivid flashbacks. The way she’d first kissed him, like she was starving for him. How she’d wrapped her legs around him, scorching him with her heat. How he’d tasted her breasts, her flesh, the sweet wetness of her quim. Her hot little hands wrapped around his cock. Spike banged his head against the back of the battered easy chair, wishing for something harder – like cement maybe.

*All too soon, Mate –You’ll find yourself on the floor and have your wish.*

He tipped the bottle back for a deep draught. Not soon enough though. One after another – scenes of the night replayed in his head over and over and over - in screamingly torturous detail. Fuck, he could practically taste her right now.

*Sweet as a sun-ripe peach she was... *

He growled in frustration, grinding his fists into his eyes. But this only assisted him with picturing her naked breasts and the damp chestnut curls of her sex. His erection throbbed painfully.

“ And YOU!” he addressed it, eyeing it menacingly. “I’ve had it up to here with you. Look wha’ kinda trouble you get me into! Can’ think prop’ly when you’re around, y’ bastard.”

His penis paid him no mind, bobbing along jauntily – hard as ever. He took a series of long pulls from the bottle of Jim Beam then set it back in his lap, carefully avoiding his unbearably stiff prick. He scowled at it with disapproval.

“ Why don’t ya just slag off, ya waster!”

*Damn vampire constitution.*

Normally the alcohol would have done it in by now, at least softened it up a little. But not tonight. Christ, he could cut diamonds with the thing! He was damn sick of looking at it, to tell the truth. Not to mention how bleedin’ uncomfortable it was. Only one thing for it then.

“ Right.”

Probably shoulda done it hours ago. Spike stood up unsteadily, bottle in hand. Then carefully made his way down to the lower level of his crypt.

Time for a good long wank.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy tossed and turned for the next hour, her mind filled with images of Spike. What they’d done together, what they could do – what she WANTED to do. Something about him made her feel free, like she could ask for anything – do anything and it was all good. She could be anything she wanted to be in his presence. She’d already done things with him that very night that were WAY outside her realm of experience.

Buffy – made out like the world was ending in a graveyard with a vamp. She’d gotten pretty much naked in a public place and let him lick her and touch her and taste her – everywhere. And she didn’t give a damn. She didn’t care about anything in that moment but him, and how they made each other feel. It was as if the entire world ceased to exist outside the little erotic lust-bubble they occupied. And that was a dangerous thing – he was dangerous. Why was that so damn exciting?

Why did she get wet just thinking about him? It was so frustrating! He was the wrong guy! Couldn’t her body see that? Couldn’t her mind tell the difference between good guy and bad guy? She had a vivid flash of Spike on his knees in front of her. It made her shiver all over.

*Apparently not.*

This was torturous. Why couldn’t it be Riley she felt this way about? He was a good guy.
Although, in all their many patrols he had never tried to do anything more than kiss her.
Not once. Riley liked his Love American-style – at home in bed, in the missionary position with the lights safely off. Buffy yawned unconsciously. Okay, so he wasn’t the most exciting guy in the world. But the sex was pretty good. Or at least she thought so until Spike came along…

“Errrg!”

She growled into the quiet night. Why did he have to come along anyway? Why didn’t she just stake his ass years ago? Then she’d be a happy little camper. Miss Normal 2000 with her college sweetie.

*Yeah, good. Cause ignorance is bliss right?*

Bad Buffy Brain snarked sarcastically. She was really beginning to resent this little rebellion her mind seemed to be having.

“ I can always have you lobotomized you know.”

*Great, now I’m talking to my own brain. What’s next? Wearing my underwear outside my clothes?*

She flipped on to her belly moodily and promptly buried her head under her pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike stood in the cement shower stall of his crypt, cock in hand for what had to be the third time that day. He let the hot water beat down on him as his mind filled with images of Buffy. Only this time he didn’t have to make them up, he didn’t have to try to imagine what her body looked like. He had the real thing emblazoned on his brain. This was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that it made the wanking all the better, his mind could now provide him with a Technicolor, 3-D fantasy Buffy in vivid Scent-O-Rama. But a curse because he knew he would never forget it, never forget HER – not ever. Probably not even after he was long dust and a permanent resident of Hell.

“Fuck ME ...”

He spluttered, realizing he would never be rid of her. That might have been said with more irony if he’d registered the fact that was exactly what he was about to do. But you’ll have to forgive him, he is quite horribly drunk...

He braced himself against the wall of his shower with one hand, preparing to go to town. There was no help for his mind; she already had a permanent hold of it. But he could do something for his body at least. The pathetic bit was that there was only one thing that would get him off right now – Buffy. Spike sighed and leaned his whiskey-heavy head against his outstretched arm.

*I surrender.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy flounced over on to her side irritably. Why did things have to be so complicated? She absolutely did NOT want to be having these feelings for him. For SPIKE, of all people! But God, the things he did! The way he touched her. No one had ever made her feel that way before, like she was lit up from the inside. She felt so…good …when she was around him lately.
All alive and juicy and desirable.

Riley never made her feel like that… No one did. Just Spike. And if she were really honest about it – he always kinda had. He’d gotten her going since the first night she met him. The way he talked to her, his cock-sure swagger. He’d sauntered into town like he owned the place and told her straight to her face he planned on killing her. It’d been one long bout of foreplay ever since. Only it took her till just now to realize it.

*It’s not like you never fantasized about him before.*

This was true, she admitted reluctantly. Sometimes, in bed with Riley – thinking about fighting Spike was the only thing that could get her off. And lately…well, lately she wasn’t just thinking about fighting him now was she? Her skin felt very warm suddenly. When she looked at it that way, thinking all the way back to the beginning – Buffy could see that this had been building for a while. Years even.

*Damn.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike stroked steadily, eyes closed – remembering… The musky tang of her sex pressed up against his nose as his tongue was buried inside her… The searing heat of her hands wrapped around his cock, pumping it hard – squeezing it tight right at the head. Bloody perfect. He groaned her name huskily;

“Buffy…God, Buffy…”

Then his mind turned to everything he’d wanted to do to her – what he would have done this very night…if only. He would lay her out naked on his bed – licking, sucking and savouring every inch of her golden body. He would spread her legs and spend an hour between her thighs, exploring every satiny fold of her succulent quim. Making her come over and over until she couldn’t take it a moment longer.

“ Mmm – yeah…”

And then - what she would do to him. She would kneel before him and take his full length in her mouth. Sucking it from the base to the head, then swirling her tongue around the tip as she pulled it from between her shiny candy-apple lips. He knew she would do him right – do him so very well.

“Ah, Love…yeah…”

And finally, what he wanted most – to spread her thighs wide for him and slide his cock right where it longed to be; buried to the hilt within her. Spike remembered the way her tight little pussy had clenched his fingers – so fiery hot and slick with her juices. It didn’t take much to imagine it sheathed around him now. He knew exactly how it would be, slamming home inside her, feeling her muscles starting to contract as her orgasm built. Knowing it was him bringing her this pleasure. Only him.


A moment: the look in her eyes when he slid another finger inside, watching her pupils dilate at the sensation.

His mouth full of the taste of her; richer and sweeter than even blood.

Her voice telling him; “ Yeah, Spike…so good. Close…close now…”


“Christ, Buffy – Fuuuuck!”

He roared out his climax, knowing there was no one around to hear it. Thick milky rivulets hit the back wall of the shower and flowed away with the water.

“ Oh…fuck…yeah…”

He rasped, starting to come down now. He was still braced against the wall with one arm, and he leaned into it gasping. God, that was good. Best wank ever – and no wonder. Anymore UST and a bloke could explode. Plus he had all that really choice fantasy material now.

*Yeah. Too bad that’s all it’ll ever be, eh?*

He pushed the thought from his mind. He didn’t want to think about that now. Just wanted to finish his shower and seek the solace of his bed and the oblivion of sleep.

He prayed he wouldn’t dream tonight. And if he did – that he wouldn’t remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy lay there for a moment, stunned. She tried to let this information sink in. Just how long had this been going on exactly? Had they been attracted to each other from the beginning? Just dancing around this issue the whole time?

* “ You think we’re dancing?”
“ It’s all we’ve ever done.” *

His words came back to her.

“No.”

But it was said quietly and without conviction. She flipped through her mental catalogue of memories – scenes flashing in her mind. The night she first met him. Their first fight at the school. Spike at her house – making a deal with the devil to stop Acathala. Willow’s wedding spell.

*Oh God.*

They’d kissed and groped and made out like they were extras in “ The Real Cancun”. And when the spell had ended, it wasn’t the horror of kissing Spike that made her pull away; it was the knowledge that she didn’t want to stop. How quickly she had stamped that down, burying it in the deepest part of her subconscious.

*Well so much for THAT, huh?*

Swaggery Spike. Snarkey Spike. Ultra-Violent Spike. They were all there in her memories, soon to be followed by: Helpless Spike. Romantic Spike. And always and forever;
Mouthy Spike.

*Don’t forget Sexy Spike and Oh-My-God-Take-Me-Now Spike.*

Bad Buffy Brain piped up. Okay, fine – them too. And a few months ago, when Riley was sick – Bad Ass Spike showed up for a minute, doing his level best to get that chip out of his head. And wasn’t that exhilarating though? Seeing the old Spike for just a moment? God, she’d been pissed at him. Her sense of betrayal was so great…

*Why was that again?*

It’s not like he didn’t act exactly according to character.

*True.*

She just never expected him to hurt her like that. He went behind her back; he lied to her and double-crossed her when he was supposed to be helping her – and in cahoots with Harmony, no less.

*And which one of those things hurt more?*

Oh, but the fight – too sweet and over too soon. When he’d leapt at her, the shock of his body on top of hers. And the sense memory that took over when she knew the bite was coming. She shivered involuntarily. When Angel bit her it gave her the best orgasm of her life.

*Second Best.*

Her mind corrected. Yes, now second to the dream she’d had the other night.

*Would be third best if only…*

Buffy pushed that thought away quickly. So if Spike had bitten her… she gulped. It woulda been one HELLUVA way to go out. And she knew he hadn’t been unaware of that – of what a vampire bite could do…sexually. When he was on top of her then, she’d felt his erection grinding into her as he went for the kill. The arousal she’d felt had been so sharp and immediate that it threw her off her guard, stunning her for a moment. And that wasn’t the first time was it? How many times had she fought or argued with him and noticed his hard-on threatening to pop out the buttons on his 501’s?

*God, did the man ever wear underwear?*

Probably Dozens. Though she’d dismissed it or consciously chosen to ignore it.

*Damn, Buffy – repressed much?*

So it wasn’t just her.

It was BOTH of them.

Wanting each other.

All this time…

“Fuck.”


Baby, ain't I good to you? Looky - TWO chapters (count 'em) by Wednesday. Hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it (heh.)*pictures wet,naked Spike* :D I'll try to get another update in before the long weekend (which I will be out of town for.) 'Cause I know y'all can't wait 6 whole days for another chapter...





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