Author's Chapter Notes:
Part two is coming later or tomorrow...And thanks to Sevvy_o and Nikilicious and Spikesbabyblues for giving me feedback on this. Also everyone should go read Nikilicious' new ficlet "Backstage Love" and her other stories as well, they're all great..and she's just a doll.
When You’re Sleeping

“Where’s Buffy?” Willow said as they all looked over the information once again. “She really should be in on this…Xander, could you-“

“I’ll go get her,” Spike interrupted, heading up the stairs before any of them had a chance to protest.

Quietly slipping into her room, Spike sat on the chair next to her bed, gently running his hand over her hair as he watched her sleep. The next thing he knew, he was moving to lay next to her, he didn’t know if it was what had happened in that abandoned house or the feeling of his impending death, but he didn’t give much thought to the repercussions of his actions. Being careful not to wake her, he lay beside her and just watched her while she slept, also being careful to keep an eye on the door in case anyone else thought they should come retrieve her.

After several minutes of just watching her, a song popped unbidden into his mind. He hadn’t realized that he’d actually been listening to it the other day when one of the potentials had it on repeat, but apparently he’d heard it enough it had gone into his head without him realizing it.

You talk so much sense
When you're sleeping
When you're sleeping
And you share all the secrets
And the mystery when you're sleeping


Every other time of day, Buffy would keep her distance from him, scared of letting the others know what she felt for him; scared of letting herself know what she felt for him. But when she was sleeping? When she was sleeping, that was a different story. She’d curl up to him; give him the idea that she felt safe with him.

She was totally unguarded when she slept and once upon a time Spike would have preyed on that weakness, relished it. But not now. Now he just enjoyed the peace that it afforded him; the love.

She had no secrets from his when she slept, nothing that she needed to keep him from seeing. She was completely bare to him.

He didn’t have a clue as to why a silly, little song was causing such deep reflection, but the words really rang true.

I found out beautiful things about you
You talk so much sense
When you're sleeping
When you're sleeping
And you share all the secrets
And the mystery
When you're sleeping


She was even more beautiful when she was asleep, he thought, if that were even possible. She was more, calm, he guessed was the word, then. She let the stress slip away and let her sleep do what it was supposed to do, rejuvenate her. And that’s why he was doing everything he could to stop anyone from waking her just yet.

He’d give up nearly everything else in his life if only he could watch her sleep every night…he always found out so much about her that way. Could see how the events of the day had made her feel, if the fight she’d gotten into on patrol had been too much, could tell when she needed someone there with her. All things that he’d never find out when she was awake, she was just too guarded when she was awake.

He’d never tell her that though, she always got so defensive when he brought up things like that and, with everything so seemingly close to the end for at least some of them, he was going to keep it as good as he could get with her.

He slowly became aware of the fact that she was waking up. Trying quietly to get off the bed so that he didn’t have to answer any questions, Spike was stopped when Buffy grabbed hold of his arm. “Mmm, where’re you going?” she mumbled sleepily, “And why are you here?”

“I was just going, luv. Scoobies asked me to come get you so they could talk to you about some information they’ve found.”

Buffy noticed that he hadn’t told her just why he was in her bed, but she didn’t really care. “How long ago was that?”

Looking at her clock, Spike grimaced a bit before replying, “Hour or so.”

“Oh,” Buffy said, stretching and trying to wake herself up more. “Thanks for letting me sleep.”

“Sure, luv, knew if one of them came up, they’d wake you right off. Thought you could do with some rest.”

“Thanks. And Spike,” she paused for a few seconds, afraid of admitting this to him, “I liked that you laid down with me and held me. Makes me feel safe.” She turned away from him, blushing, once she’d said it.

Attempting to relieve her of some of her embarrassment, and not make a fool out of himself by attempting to say something in return, Spike simply said, “Best get a move on, luv, the whelps probably come up with all sorts of nasty things we could be doing. Don’t want his brain melting…or, maybe we do,” he said, after giving it a second thought.

“Come on, let’s get down there,” Buffy said as she rolled her eyes at him.

She knew that they was more to say, they both did, but saying it would mean accepting that the end was coming and neither of them was ready to do that. So, instead, they just made their way downstairs and listened to Willow and Giles explain the new information that had been found on the First; there would be time for the other things later.

So you go and wonder
Where you wander
Lose yourself to
Take us higher
And I'll be waiting
For you when you're down



TBC......

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