Summer in Sunnydale
*Mortal Wounds*
By: MsBigBad
Art by: MsBigBad
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Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters used in this story. I'm just using them for entertainment cause I'm an obsessed freak! They belong to UPN,FOX, Mutant Enemy, and the wonderfully talented Joss Wheedon whom I love and adore! The song "The Promise of You" belongs to Edwin Mc Cain and is used w/o permission. Thanks to the chosen one.com for the pic!
Ships: Not really that shippy mostly goes along with the story line but I'll list the ships anyway just so everyone is clear. Spike/Buffy Willow/Tara and Xander/Anya. Everyone else is pretty much on their own.
Spoilers: Through "The Gift" the season five finale. Some references to things said in season six, but none are really spoilery.
Feedback: Please tell me what you think about both the story and the series.
You can reach me at msbigbad@msn.com or msbigbad17@yahoo.com -- or join my site at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/bigbadhavens
Note: This series is meant to explain everything that happened between the time everyone was crying for the Buffster and till she was brought back.
Summary: This story shows the reactions of everyone to Buffy's death. It also explains why they did some of the things that pop up later in season six.
Thanks: I want to thank my best friend Lauren for giving me the strength to finish this series. Also she gets credit for making me a dedicated watcher of the show!!! So lots of luvs to her! Mwahhh! I also want to thank the cast,crew,writers,producers, and everyone else affiliated with the show! Thanks for making it the best damn hour of television ever. Especially James Marsters, which anyone who knows me can tell you that I am beyond obsessed with! He's a great actor, writer, and person!! Last and most definatly not least I wanna thank you for reading! Especially if you read through all of this crap that I usually don't read!!Lot's of love to ya! Enjoy! Mwahhh!!!
Rated: PG-13 For some language and adult content.
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There she lay beaten,broken,dead. Her friends gathered around her body where it lay upon the debris. All where devastated, all where dying inside. How could this have happened? What could they have done to prevent it? They came up with countless scenarios but none of them would be of use now. None of them could bring her back; their slayer, their friend, their sister, their love was dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The promise of you
it sleeps in the air
the air that I breathe
and I know that it's true
don't have to convince myself
to believe
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The watcher took command. He ordered the lover wiccas to find the robot.
"...it may be our only hope. If the demon world finds out that the slayer is in fact dead, Sunnydale will be doomed. Creatures would come from all over the world if they knew the hellmouth was unguarded."
To the boy he said,
"They need medical attention. Take them to the hospital."
Indicating his girlfriend and the slayer's kid sister. From the vampire he asked for help moving her body.
"We'll take her to the shop."
They all went about with their duties hoping that this was a nightmare they would soon wake up from. All except for Spike who was having a hard time even standing. He had many broken bones and a broken heart as well. When he saw her body lying there without the faintest hint of life he'd felt as if he'd stepped into the sun. Even wanted to, he welcomed the fast approaching dawn. How could he go on without her? A voice rang through his head saying you can't, you can't. He looked down at her broken, frail little body then back at Giles. He had fallen to the ground and broken into tears at just the sight of her death. Giles was asking him to touch her, to hold her, to feel the coldness of death come over her body. He wondered if he could do it. The voice in his head shouted to him you can't, you can't, you know you can't. He walked over to the watcher slowly. He was all bloodied and bruised. He looked like a warrior but inside he felt quite different. He felt like a murderer and for the first time he was ashamed and saddened by it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What secrets sleep
in the heart of a man
so much love wasted
slip right through my hands
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giles saw the uneasiness on the vampires face. Was he having as much trouble with this? The watcher had been very close to the girl. She'd been like a daughter to him. He had been trying to establish his place and bring order to all of the chaos. To mask his grief. He wondered if it had shone through. The memory of his girl, of his slayer was tearing him up inside. He knew this day would come. He knew she could not live forever, but he had foolishly hoped it.
Finally both men acknowledged each other's presence and took hold of the girl. Spike was at her head and Giles at her feet. They carefully made their way to the Magic Box.
What the hell was taking so long? Anakin had a broken arm, he'd already lost Qwi-Con. Was he gonna lose Obi too? God he was suck a geek! Why did he always have to compare real life to a movie or a comic book? He could grow up couldn't he? There was a part of him that worried he would never be able to, but the rest of him was trying so hard to achieve it. Dawn's blood transfusion was taking longer than he expected. He was just wigging out. He just needed to calm down. Wig out, a Buffyism. Buffy. His friend. His Qwi-con. There he went again. God he missed her. He felt so useless. He hadn't even tried to help her. Everyone else had been able to assist her in some way, but not him. He was too normal for that, too useless. Willow had weakened Glory, Giles had killed Ben. Tara helped strengthen Willow. Spike had even gotten up to the tower. Hell Spike's sexbot was more useful than him. She'd gotten her head knocked off. He didn't think he could top that. Everyone had a purpose except him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
See it in the eyes
the eyes of the lonely
as they make their weary way
shimmer in the eyes of the longing
and I hear it say
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two witches searched through the mounds of debris looking for their last bit of hope. Tara studied her lover. She saw the tears that threatened to spill down her face.
She would not let Tara see her cry. She had to be strong. Buffy had said for her to be strong. She was trying so hard.
Why did she think she could hide who she was and what she felt? Couldn't she see that all she had to do was look into her eyes to know that? This was something Tara didn't like about Willow. She could still ask her though.
"Willow are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine...." She could take it no longer. Her strength was giving out.
"I'm not fine! I'm awful! God, Tara, how could this happen? I mean; I knew but, but it was Buffy. She was my best friend."
The tears that had been restrained before streamed down her cheeks as she was pulled into her lover's embrace.
"Shhh,it's okay. Everything’s gonna be alright" She reassured her, rocking her back and forth.
They finally reached the shop. The day had almost caught up with them. The sun's first beams shone through the windows as they sat in the chairs adjacent to the research table. There they had lain their fallen warrior. Both stared at her intently, remembering past times better, happier times.
"Who are you?"
"You'll find out on Saturday."
"What happens on Saturday?"
"I kill you."
"You're like a textbook with arms! I know this!"
"You're a pig Spike!"
"I have to go save the world, again."
"What you did for me, and for Dawn; that was real, I won't forget it."
"I love you Giles, you know that right?"
"Protect her for me."
"Till the end of the world..even if that happens to be tonight."
"Spike? Spike?"
He had been calling to him for several minutes; finally he decided to shake him.
"Hey! Hands off!"
"Yes, quite right. It's just; I need you to watch over her for me. I have to go to the hospital and check on the others. Can you do this for me, Spike? Can you protect her, for me?"
There where those words again. He was sure that those words would haunt him for the rest of his un-life. Nevertheless, he would do it. He knew he would do it. That he could. Anything so much as looked at 'er he'd rip their head off. He knew it. This made him wonder why he had failed to keep his promise before. Why couldn't he know like he did now? Why didn't he rip Doc's head off? Was he that selfish? Was he that uncaring?
"Spike?"
"Yeah watcher, I'll protect 'er Don't you worry. Go on and see about the bit."
Giles nodded and grabbed his coat. He headed out the door leaving the bell jangling behind him as he made his way toward Sunnydale Memorial.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The promise of you
it sleeps in the air
the air that I breathe
and I know that it's true
don't have to convince myself
to believe, to believe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After she had cried awhile in her girlfriend's arms they had went about looking for the robot. First they had found the head and part of a leg. They thought the two where part of a whole. Then after a little more digging they found that falling debris had dismembered the various pieces of Spike's sexbot. This was gonna take awhile to fix.
Her blood transfusion was over. She just had to wait awhile and she would be released. She thought that having a procedure that serious would keep her in the hospital at least overnight. She guessed that Sunnydale had done enough to not even care about it anymore.
God, how messed up was her life?
Mom was dead.
She was a mystical and ancient key to a hell dimension.
Her sister, the only person she had left, was dead.
Even worse it was all her fault.
Xander and Anya had come in before, but she couldn't really look at either of them.
She was afraid that she would see it in their eyes.
The regret.
The blame.
That "Gee sorry kid. I really did like you, but I wish it where you instead.
You're not even real.
It should have been you.
You deserved it.
Why wasn't it you?"
She would have nothing to say but "I wish it was."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What secrets sleep
in the heart of the night
my dreams of salvation
slipping out of sight
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Suicide!"
"I'm just saying, she didn't look very happy!"
"Well if my sister had just died I wouldn't be very happy either, but I certainty
wouldn't be suicidal!"
"Well you're not her Xander!"
The older man came through the automatic doors of Sunnydale Memorial just as the two where in the peak of their bickering. Good lord! Hadn't he had enough for one night?
"Is everyone alright?"
They stopped long enough for Giles to find out that Anya had a broken arm, Dawn had a blood transfusion and would be released soon,(Didn't they usually require patients of those types of procedures to stay in the hospital for a bit longer than a couple of hours?) and that both Anya and Xander where reall horny. During that last bit he had whisked his glasses from atop his nose and cleaned them till they made that squeaky noise pretending to not be listening. Then Anya scared the hell out of him, not that she didn't scare most people 99% of the time.
"Figures, I risk my life for the man I love, one of my friends dies and her little sister is blaming herself for her death, on the edge of suicide!"
Giles almost broke his glasses on that last line. He quickly flung them on again.
"The edge of suicide!"
Xander was waving his hands frantically infront oh her.
"There you go again!"
He turned back to Giles.
"She's just down a little, and hey, if my big sis just kicked it I would be too!"
He then turned back to Anya.
"But she's not suicidal!" he stressed.
He was severely pissing her off. She felt compelled to take out some vengeance on him! She knew what she saw in Dawn's eyes. She'd seen it before. Selfloathing. Some of the girls she had brought vengeance to had that look. She had to convince them it wasn't their fault before they'd wish harm on their ex's. It took allot of convincing. God he was so annoying! Why couldn't he just agree with her on one simple thing? He was making her horny and he'd probably not wanna have sex for awhile. Part of the whole mourning human thing. Or maybe it was just a strictly
Alexander Levelle Harris thing. He he he. She liked his full name. Yay! Soon she would be
Mrs. Anyanka Emanuel Jenkins Harris. She liked the sound of that. But still there was plenty of sex in "Four Weddings and a Funeral"! She was still mad at him. The need for vengeance was still there.
"I've seen this Xander. She hates herself. She thinks it's her fault."
He was giving her his sexy frustrated look.
"And stop looking at me like that you're making me all horny! And we'll go home, and you won't wanna have sex cause you're nothing like Hugh Grant!" she added.
Where did that come from?
"Ahn, honey, you're really scaring me, and you know I look so much bett-"
He was interrupted by a nurse asking lots of personal info on Dawn for the release forms.
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In the shimmering moments of the twilight
closing up the shine
whisper in the wind of a rescue
savior in time
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It had been about 5 minutes after Rupert left till he could actually look at her, and awhile after that til he could touch her again. He held her cold dead hand and stroked her shiny shampoo commercial hair that was matted with blood it certain spots.
"I'm sorry Buffy. I'm so sorry."
He leaned over her looking into her slightly open eyes that had lost their sparkle. Fire used to burn there, but no more. He kissed her forehead and brought her hand to his cheek.
"So sorry."
Tears flowed down his sunken cheeks again.
"If I... if. You'd be alive. Maybe if I hadn't fallen in love with you you'd be alive. You'd be out.. I don't know celebratin' with your mates.Somethin'. But you'd still have a heartbeat, and you'd still have you're fire. An' I'd be out plottin' ta kill you. Those where the good ol' days weren't they? When I wanted ta kill you. Yeah I shoulda killed you. I shoulda killed you!"
More tears. He sat there for a long time just looking at her, memorizing every inch of her by unbeating heart. Then the Whelp had to intrude on their last time together. Those few stolen moments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The promise of you
it sleeps in the air
the air that I breathe
and I know that it's true
don't have to convince myself
to believe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Spike?"
God what the hell had happened to him? He was bruised and swollen. There was blood all over him and it was mingling with tears from his intense blue eyes.
"Spike? Are you okay?"
He couldn't believe he was asking him this. He was probably crying tears of joy, this is what he had wanted since he first came to Sunnydale. Wasn't it? He had to wonder.
He couldn't do this, he couldn't cry infront of the whelp. He had to pull himself together. But he just couldn't.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"Seriously man, are you okay?"
"Buffy" He whispered as the sobs got louder and louder.
"Spike, C'mon man. Go home, I'll stay here with her."
"I can't leave her. I've got to protect her. I can't. I promised, not gonna break anymore
promises. I can't ."
"Sure you can, I've got her."
"I can't leave her I promised!"
"You gotta. Spike, c'mon. Go home bleach boy."
Xander tried to pull him out of the chair. He got thrown across the room by a hysterical Spike.
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All this time
I've been fighting my own private war
all this time
you where the peace I was looking for
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The vampire screamed in pain as the chip fired adding to his anguish. He dropped to his knees then and looked toward heaven.
"You can't leave me you bloody bint! I need you! You can't leave, I need you."
He went over to her body and started shaking her violently.
"You hear me? Wake up! Wake up!"
With every word he shook her harder.
"I need you! You can't leave me! I need you! You hear me? I need you, I need you.."
He broke into tears again clutching her body and bringing it close to him. Slowly he rocked her back and forth.
"I love you. I love you. Don't leave me Slayer. Buffy, please, don't leave me. Please, don't leave, don't leave."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The promise of you
it sleeps in the air
the air that I breathe
and I know that it's true
don't have to convince myself
to believe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xander, who had been lying across the room where he'd been flung, got up and decided another round of grizzlies with Spike was not a good idea. He was clearly hysterical and maybe not as happy as he had first thought. He left after making this analogy and headed back to his apartment where a horny girlfriend and a non- suicidal Dawn would be waiting for him. He did stop to call Giles first just to make sure he avoided making the same mistake he had made when approaching Spike. The man said that he wouldn't even try the bloody thing and that he should go home and shag his girlfriend. He must have been drunk. He thought he heard that band that Eric Clapton used to be in(Sugar? Grain? Filter? No that was that Picture band. Was it Cream? He knew it was something to do with Coffee.)playing in the background so he was obviously drunk. When he got home Dawn was asleep in his and Anya's bed. She was sitting on the sofa watching an info-mercial on how to get rid of rodents (particularly rabbits.) and eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's straight from the box. She looked up at him in surprise.
"I thought you where going to the Magic Box."
"I did."
She was so beautiful when she was concerned and especially when it wasn't for herself.
"Well I thought that meant alone time with Buffy. I thought you'd be gone all night."
"And what, leave you here all alone with Ben and Jerry!"
She slapped him. Hard.
"Ow!"
Losing points there.
"That's inappropriate Xander! She was you're best friend! You should be locked in a room crying! Or putting you're hand through another wall! But instead you're making dumb jokes!"
She notices a cut on his forehead.
"Oh my god! What happened to you're head?"
And gaining some points back.
"Spike happened. He's really messed up right now."
He thought about what he was saying.
"Well more than usual."
"Messed up?"
"Yeah. As in shouting at a dead body and throwing me across the room messed up."
"Oh."
She kissed his wound. Motherly love adding up and hitting the payload of points. Yuck. That's kinda gross. Should he want her to be like his Mom?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The promise of you
it sleeps in the air
the air that I breathe
and I know that it's true
don't have to convince myself
to believe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike new that he must leave her. Soon the watcher would be there. He could not be there. He could not show him how much her death had hurt him; he'd already shown the whelp too much. Still, it pained him to know that this was the last time he would see her. The last time he would touch her. The last time he would smell her. She smelled of vanilla and blood. Her blood. She was bathed in it and it was intoxicating. He wanted to remember that smell forever. He wanted to remember her forever. She would be a hard person to forget but he had all eternity. He had to make sure she'd live forever through him. He took a nearby ceremonial dagger and cut a lock of her hair. He looked at it for a moment before stuffing it in the inside pocket of his leather duster and putting the dagger back in it's place among the rest of the merchandise. The watcher saw every second of this. He peered through the window as the vampire planted a last good-bye kiss on her forehead and stroked her hair one last time before disappearing into the tunnels. If there was and doubt before, watching this had cleared it away. Spike had really loved Buffy. And would probably love her to his.. er "dying" day. This was a creature he would trust with his life and the lives of those he cared for.
THE END
Continued in Part 2 of the series Summer in Sunnydale "My Little Reminder"