It had been seven weeks since their arrival in Europe. Two months since the fall of Sunnydale, and three months since Spike walked out of their lives. Life had changed so much. The place where she once called home was gone. Her friends were in different places around the world trying to find the new slayers. Her sister was in a boarding school in London for the time being. And Angel was also gone, sacrificing himself to save the world.
Now Buffy was walking down the small streets of Tibet, tracking down the new slayer she was sent to find. She took a deep breath, inhaling deep the fresh air and peace this place seemed to offer.
Peace.
It's what she was hoping to find. It's why she had talked her way out of having any of the other slayers, or watchers in training, accompany her on this trip. She had noticed that the silence that was present when it was dark and she was alone, by herself, brought the most peace.
Buffy laughed and shook her head at the irony of that. Two years ago, when she still had dreams of living a normal life, she wanted to be surrounded by her friends, her family, a good boyfriend turned husband, and now, after everything that had happened, she craved the silence that loneliness brought.
At least the silence was better than the dreams. Dreams she had of blue eyes and full lips. Peroxide hair, and hard muscles that felt soft and perfect under her hands.
Yes. Silence was much better than dreams.
She still didn't know why he had left. Nor she cared. 'Cause at the moment she hated him. Yeah right. Her mind spoke out. She didn't hate him, could never hate him. Buffy couldn't even blame him for leaving. After everything she had put him through, even she would have left herself.
Still, it hurt.
Spike had always told her that he'd be there for her, forever, and she had believed him. Wanted him to keep those promises he whispered in her ear the last night they were together. Promises of love and happiness. A cozy little crypt for two, with a white picket fence with dull, sandpapered tips to avoid accidental staking. But she knew, she knew that if she kept pushing him, he'd eventually get tired and leave. And that's what had happened wasn't it.
Buffy pushed and Spike left.
Buffy sighed and sat down at a stone wall that fenced in a monastery. Her back was hurting and her feet were aching from having walked all day. She wished that the coven that was helping them find all the slayers were a bit more specific in the location of these girls. Wished they could pinpoint out exactly what house on exactly what corner she could trace them to, instead of just telling her 'She's in Tibet, you'll find her... eventually.'
At least Willow was a bit more helpful, what with the actual feeling them out and doing locator spells to pin down their actual whereabouts.
Buffy heard the heavy door to the monastery being opened behind her. She stood up to walk away, hoping she hadn't disturbed the occupants and whatever they might have been doing. Probably having dinner. She thought, as she noticed the sun setting and the evening hours beginning. Buffy sighed and took a step. Back to finding slayers who were MIA.
"Buffy?" A male voice, a very familiar male voice, called after her making her stop in her tracks. "Is that you?"
Buffy turned around slowly and couldn't help smiling at the man she hadn't seen in what felt like forever. She waved.
"The one and only." She replied and started walking over to great him. He let the door close softly behind him and walked over to meet her half ways.
"I thought I was going crazy. I swear I thought I smelt you and..." He trailed off chuckling as he took his long time friend in his arms. Buffy hugged him back with much enthusiasm.
"Wow, Oz. I never thought I'd find you here." She greeted releasing him from the soft embrace. It had been a long time since she had hugged anyone. He laughed.
"So how's everyone? Willow?" He questioned and Buffy could see how much Oz still loved her redheaded friend. She remembered how not to long ago, love like that shone in sparkling blue eyes for her.
"They're all good." She smiled sadly. "Willow's off in South America," with Kennedy, "trying to find the new slayers."
"Slayers?" Oz asked and raised his eyebrow.
"Oh, yeah. I'm not the one and only chosen anymore."
"Long story?"
"Kinda." She answered and he nodded his head.
"So, uh, are you in Tibet for something else or, uh," Oz pointed over his shoulder behind him at the building. "Were you here to talk to Spike?"
Buffy felt her blood wash out from her body and go straight to her toes. Spike. Was here. In Tibet. With Oz?
"Spike?" Buffy questioned, trying desperately not to stammer. Oz cringed realizing a little too late that maybe Spike didn't tell, or wanted the Slayer to know where he was at. "Spike is here?" Buffy inquired, still feeling a bit lightheaded.
"It's a little too late to say 'no,' isn't it?" Oz responded and gave a contrite smile. Buffy felt her blood slowly return to it's normal task.
"Can," she cleared her throat. "Can I..." She trailed off on the question as the bulky door once again opened and Spike walked out.
"Did you find what you're looking for?" Spike asked looking through his pockets for something. "Ran out nostrils flaring, you did." He said pulling out a stick of gum. He looked up. Bringing the gum to his open mouth, he froze as his eyes met hers.
They stood still, their eyes imprisoned within each others, willing the other to say the first word.
"Bugger." Spike whispered and let the hand that was holding the gum fall back to his side, the piece of gum falling down to the ground. They stood still for a moment more before taking a tentative step toward each other then finding themselves in each others arms.
Buffy buried her face in his chest wetting his shirt with the tears that were spilling out of her eyes, her hands clutching at his back trying to draw him closer. Spike buried his face in her hair, weaving his finger in her golden locks, as he inhaled her scent. His other arm surrounded her waist bringing her body flushed against his.
"I take it that is my clue to leave." Oz said and walked backwards. "Leavin’." He said, smiling, and turning around to go back inside when they ignored them.
Spike held Buffy close for a few more minutes, delighted to have her back in his arms again.
"Buffy?" He didn't want to speak fearing that when he did the enchantment they were imprisoned in would break, but he needed to know why she was here.
"Shh." She whispered. "Let me bask."
Spike smiled and inhaled her scent in deeply again.
Buffy thought she was going to die. So many emotions were pumping through her veins, love, anger, joy, fear, relief, she could barely identify them all. But the one emotion that was overpowering the rest was peace. She had found peace in his arms.
They hesitantly separated from the embrace. Each mourning the loss of the others arms wrapped around them.
Spike took her hand and led her to sit at the small stone wall she had been sitting at a few moments before.
"Spike.." "Buffy.." They spoke at the same time. They smiled at the awkwardness.
"You first, love."
"What are you doing here?" Buffy questioned and looked down at where their hands were still entwined.
"Was gonna ask you the same thing." He replied and also looked down at their hands, tightening his hold a little. "I thought.." Spike smiled nervously. "Are you angry?"
"Should I be?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Kind of was expecting you to be."
"Why?" Buffy asked scowling.
"The.. the way I left." He mumbled softly.
"I, uh," She smiled sadly. "I wasn’t angry, I was hurt." Her voice was soft. "I figured it was... me, that I did something, that I... pushed you out..." Buffy paused at the stinging sensation in her nose that told her, her eyes were about to fill with tears. "Out of my life."
"No, Buffy. Never." Smelling her tears, Spike let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders bringing her close. "I left... I should of told you, but I knew that if you asked me to stay I would, and I didn't want to hurt you-"
"Too late." She interrupted, mumbling against his shoulder. Spike pursed his lips fighting back his own emotions, feeling regret for leaving her, for being a coward and running out on her with his tail between his legs.
"It's not what I meant." He swallowed the lump that had been forming in his throat. "Love, I didn't want to put you or anybody else in danger. Had to get away 'fore I did something I would of regretted for the rest of me life. Unlife." He corrected. "The whole two minutes 'fore I would of staked myself for harming you." Buffy looked up at him, confusion etched on her face. "The First." He explained. "Told the boy that it wasn't time for me yet. Knew that he was goin' to try to use me to kill all of you.." Spike sighed. "Couldn't let that happen. So I left."
Buffy wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed him tight. Spike hesitated before wrapping his arms around her neck and holding her to him for an awkward hug. He felt his eyes water and blinked to keep the tears at bay.
"I'm sorry." He whispered against her hair. Buffy nodded against his chest.
"How did you get here?" She asked as she released him a bit to look up into his eyes. She had missed his eyes.
"I went back to see the demon that gave me my soul, found out he couldn't help me anymore, but I got sent to Paris, ran into Danny boy, told him what happened and after a few beers and a bad joke about him bein' an American werewolf in Paris," She smiled. "We were on our merry way here." Spike paused for a moment before continuing. "The monks here helped dog boy to not go all wolfy when there's a full moon, figured they could help me get rid of the trigger the First put in my mind to make me it's bitch."
"Are they helping? Are you all with the goodness, now?"
"No, not yet." Spike gave her a half smile. "Got a few more, uh, lessons, some pseudo-identity meditation and whatall. But soon, I hope, I'll be the new and improved Spike 2004, triggers and chips sold separately." Buffy laughed at that. "What about you, pet?"
"Slayer."
"Okay." Spike brow furrowed. "What about you, Slayer?" Buffy smiled and slapped him lightly on his shoulder.
"No, silly. I'm here looking for one of the new slayers." At his confused look Buffy explained further. "Fight against the First, Willow worked her mojo, and all the potentials became Slayers."
"So you guys won." Buffy nodded. "The scoobies?"
"Willow's in South America, Xander's in Africa, Giles and some of the others are rebuilding the council." She replied. "Anya, she... she didn't make it." She added softly.
"Bit?" Spike asked, wondering why she hadn't mentioned Dawn, and hoping it wasn't bad news.
"She's in school. In London."
Spike sighed, relieved.
~*~
Buffy's eyes fluttered open, she could see the early pinkish tint of the sky as it announced daybreak. She looked up to see Spike leaned up against the wall, eyes closed, his arms wrapped protectively around her. They had spent most of the night talking and catching up. She didn't know at what point in the night they had fallen asleep but she couldn't believe how much she had missed this. More than she wanted to admit. She missed waking up next to him, in his arms.
Everything felt like a dream. Like a fairy tale, and she was sure they would get their happily ever after. No doubt in her mind about that. She knew that Spike still had a few things to work out before he could be all new and improved like he had said, but she was willing to wait.
Now that she knew the why of his leaving, and still saw the love shining in his eyes for her, nothing was gonna get in their way.
Last night he had told her that he intended to keep those promises he whispered to her their last night together. That there wasn't a promise to her that he would not keep. And she believed him. Told him she believed him. Wanted to say she loved him but now wasn't the time. Maybe when he came back to her.
Buffy wanted to stay in his arms for ever but the tinting of the sky went from pink to light blue and she knew their night was coming to an end. Leaning over to Spike she woke him up with a kiss.
And as they hugged, kissed, said goodbye, him going into the protection of the building and her going back to her search for the slayer she was sent to find, they knew that when everything was done and over with, when he was better and she was settled, they'd find each other again.
Buffy walked down the street with a smile on her face and a bounce in her step, making plans on finding a nice house with a white picket fence to call home.
Author's Chapter Notes:
The story is not completely fluff, but it is kinda shmoopy. The inspiration behind some things in this fic come from the first date I ever had with my girl, so Ri, thanx for being my muse. Reviews are much appreciated.
Banner by the beautiful edgehead!
Disclaimer: Don't own. Didn't happen.
Banner by the beautiful edgehead!
Disclaimer: Don't own. Didn't happen.