[Reviews - 349] LikedPrinter
Summary: Spike leaves a devastated Buffy for the limelight, hurting her in the worst way possible. A few years pass before they meet again and this time around, he's set on winning her back. Can she forgive and learn to love him again? Will she ever learn to trust the one man who stole her heart then shattered it? .... A story about love's endurance and the lengths people go through for the ones they love. (warning: this fic is pretty heavy on the angst)
Rated: 18
Categories: General Fics Characters: None
Genres: Romance, Angst
Warnings: Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Buffy/Other, Spike/Other
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 30 Completed: No
Word count: 62245 Read: 33601
Published: 02/17/2006 Updated: 01/11/2007

1. Ch. 1 I don't love you by effection [Reviews - 15] Liked (1649 words)
not my first fic... but it's the first one i've posted online. i'm kind of nervous.

2. Ch. 2 Ready by effection [Reviews - 4] Liked (1656 words)
Time's interwoven throughout the story. Hope nobody gets confused. I'm excited.

3. Ch. 3 First Day by effection [Reviews - 10] Liked (1731 words)
After the first day of school... get ready for a whole load of happy Buffy and happy Spike (in the past)... and just when you least expect it... angsty angst angst. It's beautiful.

4. Ch. 4 Why can't I stop loving you? by effection [Reviews - 8] Liked (1845 words)
Ahhh this is so fun to write. Reviews would make it even more fun. ;)

I have a problem though. I'm incredibly uncomfortable writing sex scenes and i'm no good at it,... so if anyone wants to ... beta me and help me out - just guide me through it. That would be cool. If not... I'll probably do something stupid like



*sigh*

5. Ch. 5 Effulgent by effection [Reviews - 11] Liked (1298 words)
There's a bit of a time lapse.. hope that doesn't throw anyone off.

and sorry if the past/present annoys anybody, but i think it really boosts the effect of things. especially in the chapter that's about to come.

6. Ch. 6 I love you... by effection [Reviews - 20] Liked (1179 words)
i felt like shooting spike when i wrote this. and i was the one who wrote this. it's saying something, right?

don't kill me.

7. Ch. 7 Love and Betrayal by effection [Reviews - 17] Liked (2833 words)
thanks thanks thanks for the reviews. your reactions to spike's behavior was great - exactly what i was hoping for. it'll get better, promise!

8. Ch. 8 Dear Buffy by effection [Reviews - 18] Liked (3560 words)
This ends part 1. It was really hard to write.

Don't worry, this is rock bottom. Only gets better from here! There's going to be 2 more parts to this story. Part 2 is going to be set a few years later, during reconstruction. Happy stuff. Part 3 is a surprise. :)

thanks for reviewing guys!!

9. PART TWO - Ch. 9 Moving Out by effection [Reviews - 13] Liked (1467 words)
I know everyone hates Spike right now... hell, i did when i wrote it. Just let yourselves know that you hate him for a reason and trust me when i say that he will be redeeming himself. It's not just a "oh, time will heal all things" kind of redeeming, either.

Thanks for the comments, btw, even though half of them are about how much you hate Spike. I guess that means i'm just uber good at the angst. But believe me when i say i'm pretty good at the revenge and the turnabout, too.

10. Ch. 10 Why We Hurt by effection [Reviews - 14] Liked (2050 words)
Thanks for the comments, guys. The next few chapters will be focused primarily on Spike. It's essential for the story, but we will keep up with Buffy

11. Ch. 11 She's been Burnt by effection [Reviews - 11] Liked (2652 words)
A lot of the places i'm making up as i go. I've never been to Los Angeles, so i'm basically writing from my imagination of how i think it's like. So, forgive me if it's not accurate. I used to live near Manhatten, but i made up the clubs and their location. Thanks for the comments guys, they really help me out.

12. Ch. 12 Questions by effection [Reviews - 9] Liked (1987 words)
I love Willow. Spike does deserve a good yelling, doesn't he?

13. Ch. 13 Gabriel by effection [Reviews - 12] Liked (2101 words)
Okay, i've never actually been to Julliard. I'm am a pianist though and i based my description off of a music school that i had a summer camp at a few summers ago. So any Julliard students... i'm just making the halls up and the descriptions up for the sake of the story.

14. Ch. 14 Hello, Goodbye by effection [Reviews - 13] Liked (1450 words)

15. Ch. 15 Common Courtesy by effection [Reviews - 2] Liked (2002 words)
Thanks for the reviews!!

16. Ch. 16 The Right Thing by effection [Reviews - 10] Liked (1574 words)
(I POSTED TWO CHAPTERS UP - for those of you who automatically click on the last chapter. I posted the chapter before this one up at the same time) The dreams are all very symbolic... and they WILL be unravelled. Spike has a past... something secret that will be revealed in the next few chapters. I'm not letting him off easily by throwing in a couple of pity lines... i'm just trying to explain some psychological, historical background that lead his very bad decision-making skills. We'lll catch up with Buffy next chapter. A bit more light and happy.

17. Ch. 17 Are you ready? by effection [Reviews - 7] Liked (1947 words)
I'm not really happy with this chapter... something about it doesn't ring right, but i figured i'd post it up and see if something comes to me. It's building up to the next chapter which will be a turning point for Spike, especially.

18. Ch. 18 Facing my Monsters by effection [Reviews - 7] Liked (2217 words)
Some of this was incredibly difficult to write... gah. Anyways... thanks for the reviews... hope you guys like this update.

19. Ch. 19 Bye-bye Baby by effection [Reviews - 10] Liked (1753 words)

20. Ch. 20 Seeing Red by effection [Reviews - 8] Liked (2326 words)
Thanks for the support and the reviews... they've made me feel a lot better.

21. Ch. 21 Night Lights by effection [Reviews - 8] Liked (2101 words)
Thanks for the continuous support, guys... It's really helped me get through this story... just hold on a little bit more and our two favorite characters'll meet again.

22. Ch. 22 Confrontation #1 by effection [Reviews - 10] Liked (2834 words)

23. Ch. 23 Confrontation #2 by effection [Reviews - 11] Liked (2267 words)
Sorry for such a long time lapse. Between AP's, finals, parents, no internet access, preperation for Graduation... I had practically NO free time to write or even think about writing. I'm also going on vacation in about a week for the entire summer and i'm not sure about what type of internet access I'll be having. I'll try my best to update, but i can't promise anything. Really, really, really sorry.... just trust me that i WONT give up on this story. Or any of my other ones. I just need some time. Thanks for the reviews, guys. They really help motivate me.

24. Ch.24 Hope by effection [Reviews - 8] Liked (1987 words)
Wow! It's been so long since I updated this, but never fear! I got my inspiration back! Now if only school will let up... Hopefully, updates will become more regular, but there's really no gaurentees.

25. Ch. 25 Goodbye to you, Hello to Life by effection [Reviews - 38] Liked (2312 words)

26. Ch. 26 Spotlights by effection [Reviews - 9] Liked (2249 words)

27. Ch. 27 It's You by effection [Reviews - 10] Liked (2281 words)

28. Ch. 28 Hello, Love by effection [Reviews - 11] Liked (2294 words)

29. Ch. 29 What are we doing here? by effection [Reviews - 8] Liked (2856 words)

30. Ch. 30 Hindsight's 20/20 by effection [Reviews - 12] Liked (1787 words)