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Author's Chapter Notes:
the last chapter (Chapter 30) was the lst one that my bea beta'd for me so from here on out it's back to me betaing them..hopefully I've done alright :)

Thank you so, so, so, so much for the reviews :)
Chapter 31

With the memory of the dream at the forefront of her mind, Buffy headed off towards the Bronze intent on doing...something so that she wouldn't ever be able to doubt her...status ever again.

Never let it be said that Buffy Summers wasn't good at beating herself down.

Just don't let her know she’s doing it; she’s pretty oblivious to how much she seems to hate herself....how much she’s making Buffy hate Buffy.




The Bronze was nearly full—it was, after all, nearly eleven o'clock on a Friday. Everyone from both Sunnydale High and UC Sunnydale was there relaxing after a tough week of classes and assignments, putting off any dreaded homework until at least the next morning.

Eerily reminiscent of the first night she'd started coming back to the Bronze, Buffy found a seat at the exact same table and once again sat and waited. She was going to let whoever—and whatever—come to her. She'd just sit back and wait for it to happen.

A few high school boys asked her to dance, one of them was incredibly genuine and really did just want to dance with her, but the other two seemed to have some sort of bet going with their friends and hoped to get a little something more out of her. But, Buffy knew, they weren't going to have any luck. No matter what she was trying to prove to people—or herself—she was going to do it with someone who was at least of legal age. No way was she giving anyone the opportunity of charging her with statutory rape.


It was when someone named Parker came over to her table that Buffy realized what she had to do…or rather what she was going to do.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asked when he saw that she was almost done with her current one.

“That would be nice,” Buffy answered, swirling the remaining liquid around in the small glass.

“Anything in particular you’d like?” He tried to be appeasing.

“How about you surprise me?” Buffy answered, repeating what she’d told Faith weeks earlier. She was hoping that this night would lead to a similar but yet slightly different conclusion.

“Surprises I can do,” He smiled flirtatiously as he turned and headed for the bar.

Buffy simply sat back and smiled while she waited for his return, pleased with her decision.

“Here you go,” He was back faster than she’d thought he would be, “One—“

“Uh uh,” Buffy interrupted wagging her finger at him, “Not a surprise if you tell me what it is; now is it?”

“I guess not,” He laughed watching as Buffy picked up the glass without hesitation and took a big swallow.

Parker laughed again, deeper this time, when Buffy screwed up her face at the taste of the drink.

“I think I’m glad that I didn’t ask what that was,” Buffy muttered, wiping at her watering eyes before, against her better judgment (but hey, all of this was against her better judgment; she’d quit listening to it at all months ago) she took another huge gulp of the heavily liquored drink.

For something that looked like an innocent glass of…maybe tea, it sure did have a kick to it.

“You sure you want to be drinking it that fast?” Parker asked in concern, “You don’t look like you’re too used to drinking and…”

“Oh,” Buffy drawled, feeling the alcohol start to affect her, “There’s a lot that I can do that you wouldn’t guess just by looking at me.”

“That so?” He asked, intrigued.

“Yep,” Buffy answered succinctly, taking yet another sip of the drink.

“Going to give me an example?”

“Maybe later,” She answered knowing that she would in fact be giving him an example, “Let’s dance now.” She quickly drained the last of her drink before getting up.

Not believing his luck, Parker followed the slightly swaying—either from the music or the alcohol—girl onto the dance floor.

“I like this song,” Buffy told him as she settled against him. It was a slow song but that wasn’t going to stop Buffy from showing him that she could be fun. She pushed herself much tighter against him than was even remotely necessary and moved her hips against his in such a way—for the entire length of the song—that by the closing chords Parker thought he might go crazy. If they didn’t do something more that is.

Parker tried to pull Buffy, by the hand towards one of the darkened corners of the club, but she stopped him.

“Not yet,” She reprimanded, “Just one more dance.” He started to protest but she intervened again, “I haven’t given you that example yet,” She said it with such a wicked gleam in her eye that he knew it was going to be good. So he waited.

Halfway through the next song, Buffy slid up the young man’s body as sexily as she could managed, having decided that it was time to tell him now. “What to know what I do? For a living?”

Not quite following the turn of events, he answered anyway, “Sure.”

“Have to ask, then,” Buffy teased.

“What do you do for a living Buffy?” He asked, figuring the drunk girl would say that she was a receptionist of an office assistant or something.

“I’m a whore,” Buffy whispered in his ear.

“What?!” He sputtered, figuring she had to be toying with him; punishing him somehow for something he hadn’t realized he’d done wrong.

Not so, though.

“Uh huh,” Buffy answered cheerfully, “That’s what I do. I have sex with men for money. Give me fifty bucks and I’ll blow you.” She said it all so casually that he had no idea if she was putting him on or not.

“Are you serious?” He asked, curious now.

“Course I am. Not something I’d go around joking about now is it? Want to?”

“Think you know the answer to that,” He told her, already fishing out his wallet.

Buffy held her hand out, palm up and waited for him to put the fifty dollar bill in it before stuffing it down her shirt and looking back at him.

“Come on,” She said, taking his hand and leading him towards one of the darkest back corners of the club.

“Is a blow job the most I can get?” He asked her when his back was settled against the dark wall and she was standing in front of him.

“Don’t get greedy, mister,” Buffy hadn’t really thought that far yet, so she gave the best answer she could.

Buffy didn’t feel anything, emotionally that is, as she reached her hands out to undo the young man’s pants. She settled his pants and boxers out of the way before settling down onto her knees on the floor.

Buffy pumped him with her hands as she tried to get her mouth as moist as possible—which was harder than usual as it seemed to be incredibly dry at the moment.

When she thought they were both ready, she took him into her mouth. It had been a while since she’d done this so it took her a few moments to develop a rhythm but his hands in her hair helped direct her.

“Oh, yeah,” He muttered, “Suck my cock! Suck it hard, baby!”

Buffy could feel tears slipping through her closed eyes but willed them back as best she could. She deserved this.

But when she felt him hit the back of her throat while he still pulled her closer to him, she lost it.

Buffy fell backwards, landing hard on her ass, not noticing the pain as his hands pulled her hair, the unexpected motion taking Parker by surprise.

“What the fuck?” He grumbled, taking a second to realize that her mouth was no longer around his cock. “What are you doing?”

TBC.......




huh...felt lke that chapter should have had more warnings to it...uhm, I absolutely promise to get the next chapter up on Saturday because it follows directl after this one. Also, I'm still not reading reviews (God is that hard) or emails, so.....hopefully there's nothing too urgent...but I am getting writing done, so...yay?

and just as a reminder: I've promised that this will have a Spuffy ending..don't forget that :)

and....I have lots of ands today, sorry--MBB will actualy have an epiloge posted soon. I just need to rework it a ilttle so I'm happy with it then it'll be up.





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