Author's Chapter Notes:
at the bottom...also? You are the best people in the whole world..I somehow got 1000 reviews :-D Thank you!
Chapter 40

At seven am sharp the next morning, a nurse woke Buffy; which, given that she'd been up until the wee hours of the morning, really wasn't very fair.

"Aren't you all supposed to be helping me get better? And doesn't that involve some sleep?" She grumpily questioned the nurse currently taking her blood pressure.

"Sorry, sweetie," The middle aged woman told her kindly, "Have to take your vitals at shift change. Trust me, wouldn't mind too much myself if we started later, but that'd throw off the eleven o'clock people. It's early, yeah, but it stops us from keeping you up too late--normally.

Sorry they wouldn't let me check on you late today; doc's insisted you be first."

"Well aren't they generous," Buffy muttered, trying to get back to sleep now that the woman was done.

"They should be up here for you around ten--I'll try to let you get some sleep until then."

"Thank you," Buffy told her, realizing that the woman was trying her best to help.

"You're welcome. You try to rest up now."

But Buffy couldn't get back to sleep because after a few moments her dream from the night before began to come back to her.

And what was it with her and dreams anyway? Especially her and dreams involving Spike.

This one--that was actually not a dream but a horrible nightmare--hadn't had Spike actually in it, but she knew full well that it was that little voice--that seemed to be gathering strength by the day--trying to tell her something.

It was like walking through a tunnel...or how you always say people walking down hallways in bad horror movies. The walls seemed to bend and sway like the sea and a mirage of colors danced along the walls and floor. By the time Buffy had reached, what was apparently her destination, she was nearly nauseous just from the short walk.

All she wanted to do was sit down and she thought she'd received her wish when she saw a beautiful living room in front of her.

The room still seemed to be swaying so it took a bit of an effort for her to reach the wing chair in the corner of the room. But once she sat down, everything seemed to come into focus; the walls stopped moving, the colors evened out, and her attention was wholly focused on a scene across the room--something she hadn't noticed as she'd come in.

A part of her knew this was a dream, but she still couldn't stand to watch what was happening--but even as hard as she tried, she was unable to turn her attention away. There, at the edge of the room, a little girl was cowering back into the corner. She was a beautiful little girl Buffy thought; about seven or eight years old, shiny, straight brown hair falling nearly to her waist, with an adorable little blue summer dress on. Buffy couldn't see any more of what the girl looked like, but somehow she knew instinctively that it was her child, her daughter.

But that wasn't what made her so want to turn her attention away, made her want to get up out of the chair and rush across the room, that wasn't it at all.

The reason that the little girl, her daughter, was cowering in the corner was that a man, of about six feet, was towering over her, his hand poised to strike.

Buffy noticed the blood that seemed to appear out of nowhere on the girl's lip. Watching as the man swung his arm down and hit the girl across the face for what was obviously not the first time, Buffy felt physical pain at her inability to do anything to stop it. She tried to scream but it was as if no sound came out.

"Please, daddy! Don't hurt me," She could hear the little girl begging and as Buffy watched, bruises and cuts began to form in different places along her body; as if they were showing Buffy just how abused this little girl--her little girl--was.

"I don't think so," He teased, but with such hatred in his voice that Buffy literally shuddered. "This is what you get from me, baby. This is what you're always going to get."

"But you're my daddy!"

"And I'm a bad, bad," He accentuated each word with a slap to some place on her face, "Man who has no problem hurting his little girl."

"You don't love us?" She asked, the blood trailing down from where her forehead had somehow been cut--leaving her to rapidly blink away both the tears and the blood.

"Not at all. But don't worry, you mom's a good fuck so I won't be leaving you two any time soon." He picked the girl up by her arms and turned with her, somehow getting her to face Buffy as he held her roughly by the arms, her little feet dangling off the floor. "Isn't that Mommy," the word was said in such a mocking tone Buffy cried anew, "You didn't think you deserved any better than me, did you? Thought I was the best you coudl do. But the jokes on you, honey because I ain't never gonn' let you go. Never."


Even as Buffy woke fully and saw the nurse coming into the room, her little girl's cries still echoed in her ears.

By the time ten o'clock rolled around Buffy's tears had almost dried and she knew exactly what it was she wanted to talk to the psychologist about.


TBC………


Okay, so I know I’m driving half of you crazy and making the other half not so happy with Buffy (and quite possible me) but all of this does need to happen so that Buffy doesn’t go back to where she was…Just hang with me a little while longer.

And to everyone who hasn’t given up on this story: THANK YOU. I’m not entirely sure I would have read a story that was this angsty and had Spike and Buffy apart for so long while it was a WIP but you all are, so thank you so, so much for that





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