Author's Chapter Notes:
Two things: 1) That was not supposed to say 'Harmony ' last chapter--I changed how some characters were being used and missed that one

2)Everything in my fics has a point, so even when it might seem like I'm just giving you a filler chapter, it's actually contributing to the story and needs to be in there for the sake of the plot...Alright, now on to the chapter (if the storm doesn't cut my internet out again)

italics=flash-y-back-ness


Chapter 43

Buffy hoped that she could get over the 'being alone is depressing' feeling she seemed to be experiencing because it seemed like she was going to be alone for quite a while. Maybe she could distract herself by watching a movie; that always seemed to be something that could both capture her attention completely and pass the time.

Maybe one of the premium channels would have something good on...or she did have her collection of DVDs in--

There were boxes in her apartment. Boxes that she somehow hadn't noticed during her last short jaunt into the house. Where did they--

Now, Buffy had never fainted before in her life but she felt pretty damn close to doing so right now.

"Spike?"

* * *

"Hello, Joyce; Rupes. Nice to see you both," William had hoped that they would be off getting a drink or something to eat in the cafeteria when he came back out, but no suck luck.

"You must have caught the first flight out," Joyce remarked—talking to him about the things ahe hadn’t gotten a chance to bring up before, "to have gotten here so soon." She fixed her husband with a pointed look after she finished, wanting him to know that William had obviously tried very hard to be there as quickly as possible; even from across the country.

"I'm sure it was just a case of the ticket being available; am I right, William?" Giles was not yet ready to agree with his wife or to concede his point.

"Actually, I had to get on standby to get out of there in a reasonable amount of time. Think they took pity on me and helped get me on tat first flight," He studiously avoided--and would continue to avoid--any talk of just what he'd told them to garner that pity.

"They just took pity on you?"

"The look?" He motioned to his still disheveled appearance, "It isn't from flying. And I told them that my girl was in the hospital and I didn't know how serious it was and needed to get out here. So, pathetic looking guy with a good reason for needing to get on the flight..."

"Buffy is not your anything," Rupert grit out.

"She's mine to protect." Mine to love.

"Well you've done a bang up job of that so far haven't you?" Rupert said with false niceness. "Do you realize where you are? Why we're all here? The girl tried to kill herself!"

"Which is why I'm back," Spike said using the same tone as his half-brother. "And why I'm not leaving this time."

"The bloody nerve--You will leave when we tell you to leave. It is our house and she is our daughter!"

"Rupert, won't you give him a chance to explain? I'm sure William has a very good reason for why he left. Don't you William?" She asked pointedly.

"I do," He answered. "I, pardon my language, but: I fucked up."

"Please!" Giles scoffed.

"I did. I thought that I could help Buffy, get everything all find and dandy if I just tried hard enough. But the girl's more stubborn than any woman I've ever met before and I didn't...for every bit I pushed she pushed back twice as hard. I thought I was doing more harm than good by being there; and so I left. Ran away. At the time, I thought it was what was best, thought it was what I needed to do. To help her.

But now I see...I'm back and I'm not leaving until she's the bright, happy woman I know she can be and asks me to leave. I'm only leaving when Buffy's whole again. And
if she wants me to leave."

"And just where are you planning on staying while you do this 'staying'?"

"Well actually I was thinking--"

"I can't bloody believe you! You expect us to just welcome you back into our home after you nearly get our daughter killed!"

"For God's sakes, Rupes; you're acting like I took her to some dangerous part of town and left her to the wolves. There wasn't anything that concrete, that tangible. Who’s to say if I'd stayed she wouldn't have done it anyway--maybe even done it better or sooner."

"Better?! So you think her dying would have been better?"

Spike tried to ignore the question directed at him, knowing he needed to be angry with someone--at least for a while longer. But he, Spike, also knew that he needed to get this talk done; he knew he needed to figure out if they were going to let him live in the pool house again of if he needed to find somewhere else to live.

"Joyce? Could I speak with you for a moment?"

"She's right here--just talk to her," Giles wasn't done yet.

"Yes, of course," Joyce said sweetly, "Let's go sit over there." She led William to a set of chairs across the room, giving her husband a glare when he started to follow. "This is private, Rupert. You don't seem able to carry on a conversation without accusing and yelling so William and I are going to talk privately for a minute. Do not join us."

Any other day he would have been concerned with the amount of tension his presence was causing between the couple, but today his focus was wholly on Buffy and her well-being; and what he thought would be a necessary part of that.

"Joyce, I know you must hate me right now;
I hate me right now. But...I can't leave her again. I was weak before and it's my fault she's here now that she..." The emotion he'd been able to control up until now seemed to be breaking out and William started to cry, "That she tried to...God, she tried to kill herself and it's all my fault--"

"No, William," Joyce assured him, patting his hand with her own, hoping to comfort him.

"But you don't know what I did," He objected.

"I know more than you probably think I do--more than maybe you do. Buffy told me
most of what happened between you two...and some of her reasons for what she did. It's not your fault."

"You're not going to convince me that it's not. I failed her--I left when she needed me and I failed her."

"William, what's done is done. And Buffy is going to be okay. If you're as intent on helping her as I think you are...You're not going to be much help to her if you're constantly blaming yourself. If you want to help her...It's not your fault."

"I shouldn't have left. I--"

"William? Why did you leave?"

"Because I thought I was hurting her more than I was helping her."

"Do you still believe that?"

"I don't know...I don't see what I could have done differently then but...I should have known what to do."

"None of us did. None of us have all the answers. You're back now and that's what's important. If you care for my daughter--"

"I love her."

"--I'll back you one hundred percent on your wish to be with her again. I think you can help her...and, though I hate to admit it, I think you can help her more than either Rupert or I can."

"Even if I ask to move back into the pool house?"

"Especially that."

"Rupert, it is my home as well and while I may not have as much money as you, I have enough. If you do not go along with this," Giles hadn't agreed at all when Joyce had come back telling him William was moving back in, "I
will move out. I will find somewhere for us to live--a house where I can still be close to my baby girl, an apartment...something. William is going to live wherever Buffy lives and I am going to be very near wherever that is, right now. If you don’t agree, well then you can most certainly live by yourself. You will not make me choose between our marriage and my daughter's well being. She’s been mine for twenty years and she'll be mine until the day I die. Don't make me choose, I'm not sure you'll like my choice."

"Well, William," He still sounded just as angry as he had moments ago, "it doesn’t seem as if I'm being given much of a choice--"

"Don’t do that. Don't try to make him feel guilty—“

"It's alright, Joyce. I know what I'm doing is right and if he doesn't see it as that...as long as he doesn't interfere he can say whatever he wants."

"I hope you understand just how much I am regretting opening my home to you." Giles had left then, telling his wife that he needed to be away for a while and to call him if anything happened with Buffy or if Buffy needed him.

"I'm sorry William. He really doesn't mean most of this. He's upset about Buffy...actually, he's scared and when he's scared and feels powerless like this he tends to lash out. It hasn't been this bad before though, so I'm sorry."

"Well the situation hasn't been as bad either, I reckon. As long as he doesn't do something like shoot me in my sleep I'm sure I can deal with it just fine."

"No! He won't do that," She promised. "He just needs some time."

"You're really alright with me moving back in to the pool house?"

"I think it's just what Buffy needs."



TBC.........







I want to thank the person who added me as one of their favorite authors...I'm really stupid and know it's one of two people, but i'm not sure so that's the only reason I'm not thanking you by name..THANK YOU though





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