Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry for the slight delay...while Stephen King or whoever may be able to type one handed, I'm not so good at it (esp left handed and I wanted to add a few things to the chap) Hopr you enjoy!
Chapter 46

Who knew Saturday mornings could be so…life changing. They had decided to set aside one hour a week, it just happened to be Saturday mornings at eight o’clock, for them to just talk. No other commitments were allowed to be scheduled then, the phone wasn’t answered, it was—in every way—just the two of them. They talked all during the week, but this was a way for them to make sure nothing was forgotten.

And Buffy thought she had made more progress this way in just two and a half months than she possibly ever could have with a proper psychologist. Spike was, in fact, a much smarter man than she’d ever thought possible—and much more insightful as well.

Whether she was willing to admit it or not, Buffy had always known that he knew—or had the capacity to know—her better than most; and he was helping her so much more than she’d even expected.

“Let’s play twenty questions,” Buffy said as they sat on opposite ends of her bed finishing their waffles.

“What’s that, pet?”

”What ‘twenty questions’?”

“Yeah.”

“You ask me twenty questions, I ask you twenty—except we alternate so you ask one then I ask one; like that.”

“This ‘game’ have a point to it?”

”To learn more about the other person, duh!”

Despite what some might think, he actually loved this side of Buffy; loved to see her so playful and…lighthearted.

“You want to start or should I?”

“You should,” Buffy decided.

“Alright,” he had to think about it for a minute. “What’s your favorite color?”

Buffy started laughing and despite his best efforts, William got bothered by it. “What’s so funny? You told me to ask you a question; not my fault I can’t come up with some world changing question right off.”

“It’s not that,” she assured him. “I just love doing this with guys—their first questions are always: ‘what’s your favorite color?’ or ‘would you ever do it with a girl?’.”

“So, may I have a redo then?”

“Sure,” Buffy agreed.

William seemed to think hard about it for a minute and Buffy was starting to wonder if he was even going to ask something when he finally came out with his question. “So, would you do it with a girl?”

Buffy just smacked him on the arm and rolled her eyes at him.

“Can’t get a bloke’s mind on the subject and expect him not to wonder. It’s all your fault; you’re the one that brought it up.”

“Fair enough,” She conceded. “Well, I guess I don’t really know.”

“You have to know.”

“But I don’t really because…well after everything that’s happened…from now on, for me, sex isn’t going to be a casual thing; I’m only going to have sex with someone that I’m in a real relationship with. So, while I do think it would be fun…I don’t see the two ever going together.”

“So, no threesomes?” He joked, expecting her to swat at him again, but she surprised him and actually answered.

“I don’t know that one either. Again with the fun, but I think I’d get too jealous, you know?”

“Know exactly what you mean, luv.” And he did; if and Buffy were ever together again to the point of having sex, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to share her like that. Even if the idea of her and some other bird getting it on was more than a might bit appealing. Much more.

“’Kay, I get to ask my question now,” Buffy said perkily, putting her empty plate on the floor next to the bed. “What’s your favorite color?” She asked as soon as she was facing him again.

“Oi! You just said...”

“I know. I didn’t say you couldn’t ask it, just said it was predictable.”

William glared at her for a few short seconds before breaking into a grin. He loved happy Buffy.

“Have to say black.”

“Black’s not a color,” Buffy objected.

“Course it is; got a name doesn’t it?”

“Fine,” Buffy rolled her eyes at him again.

“Second question…Favorite place to go when you were a kid?” he asked.

“Hmm, that’s actually a really good question—“

“Don’t sound so surprised, I can be intelligent when the situation calls for it.”

“I know and, well, I guess I’d have to say the beach. It’s just so relaxing and I remember I used to love to look out over the water and try to imagine what someone on the other side of that huge ocean was doing right then. Your question: Same thing I guess since you’ve got me all curious now.”

“The attic of my house; could get to it from my room and I used to sneak up there all the time. Didn’t exactly have the best parents, well mum was alright, was dad that made it unbearable really. Used to sneak up there because I couldn’t hear any of their fighting. Think that’s when I started liking reading so much; was about the only thing to do up there for hours on end.”

“I’m sorry that you had to put up with your parents’ fighting.”

“Is alright; think I got over it a while ago. Know I’m not going to put my kid through it though. Right then,” he wanted to get on a new subject, “Time to ask you another. Did you like it when Rupes started hanging round with your mum?”

Anyone else she probably wouldn’t have answered it for, but, “Not at first, no; it was pretty soon after everything with my dad and…I didn’t trust Giles. It was basically my mindset that all men would hurt you. So, when he started coming around more and I saw where things were heading—I hated him and mom for it.

But eventually I started to trust him more and saw that he really did love my mom.”

“And you,” He added, amending his statement when she didn’t seem to understand, “Rupert loves you too, pet; not just your mum.”

“Yeah, I guess he does.” Buffy decided for a bit of a lighter topic, “What did you want to be when you were little?”

“Wanted to be a writer actually,” he said forlornly.

“Looks like you got your wish then,” Buffy didn’t understand his sad tone.

“Not quite the same, talking about other people’s books and all.”

“So you’d like to write one of your own?”

“Used to; not sure I could cut it anymore.”

“But reading all those books and knowing what’s good and bad—that has to give you some way of judging your writing, right?”

“I don’t know; never been too comfortable with people seeing my writing.”

“May I look at it sometime?”

”I’ll…I’ll think about it,” was the best he could do. “Now, what about you? What’d you want to be?”

“An ice skater,” Buffy blushed as she said it.

“Were you any good?”

“Never have ice skated really, just saw some people skating on TV and decided I wanted to do it.”

“Sounds about right,” he answered, thinking of kids and their ambitions. “Still want to do that now?”

“That’s two questions, mister.”

“So, ask me two when it’s your turn. You still want to be an ice skater?” He repeated.

“No.”

“And would you like to elaborate on that?” He prodded lightly.

“Me.”

“Hmm?” He asked, not understanding.

“Now I want to be me. I spent way too long being someone else; now I just want to be me again.”

“Think you’re doing real well on that one, luv,” Spike assured her.

“Do you think that somehow the fact that you and Giles have some genetic stuff in common and mom and I do that…that that’s why they’re attracted to each other and why we were?”

He wanted to question her on the were but held his tongue. “Not at all.”

“Really?” Buffy sounded disappointed.

“Really. I think that whatever’s between them is very different from anything between us. I mean, are you at all attracted to Rupes?”

“What?! No…ew! He’s like my dad.”

“Right, and nice a bird as your mum is, I wouldn’t taking her out any time soon. They’re them and we’re us.”

“And what exactly are we?” Buffy asked the second question.

“We’re friends, kitten,” Spike answered, not wanting to push things too far and ruin it. But his next question was probably going to ruin it anyway. “Was anybody on the phone that night?” He hated asking but had to know.

Buffy knew exactly what he was talking about, “No.” She noticed how…relieved he seemed. “I set it up to call my cell phone and had it on silence in my room. No one was there…I couldn’t do it.”

”Did you want to?” Neither remarked on the fact that it wasn’t his turn.

“No…I wanted to prove my point—to you and me, but I also…it was not something I wanted to or could do.”

“Thank you for that, Buffy.”

“It’s the truth,” she didn’t want him thinking she was just saying it to placate him.

“I know it is; know you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“How many kids do you want?”

“Well, I think I’d have to say four, but two of them close in age then the other two close in age.”

”Why that way?”

“Well, rules out the possibility of the whole ‘odd man out’ scenario. And keeps it so they’ve each sort of got a buddy. Think about it, we’d be breaking up less fights,” He didn’t seem to notice exactly what he had said.

“I guess that’s right. But you know if we ever had kids, Giles would be a problem,” Buffy realized what they were talking about even if Spike didn’t.

”How’s that?”

“He’d be their half uncle slash step grandfather, kind of confusing don’t you think.”

“We’ll just tell them to call him granddad and fill them in on it all when they’re old enough to understand it all.”

“Spike, you realize we’re talking about our kids right?”

“So? What, you think they’ll figure it out before hand?”

“No, I mean, ‘we’re talking about our kids,” Buffy tried again.

“Right I know, I don’t see—Oh,” He whispered as he realized just what she meant. “I’m sorry, pet. I shouldn’t have been—“

“Do you ever think about it?” Buffy interrupted. “Like have you before now? Truthfully.”

“Yeah,” Spike admitted, not meeting her eyes and picking at non existent lint on the bedspread, “I do. I shouldn’t be—I’m…We can change the subject, yeah?”

“Can we go out on Friday?” Buffy asked her calm voice belying her extreme nervousness.

“Yeah, there’s that movie coming out you wanted to see, right?” Spike answered, thinking she had changed the subject. He was going to be kicking himself mentally for a very long time for—

“No, I mean, can we go on a date of Friday, William?”

Or not, he decided.



tbc.....so did you like?





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