Author's Chapter Notes:
Not a lick of seriousness in this!!!!! Thanks to Tasha for betaing this story.
Angelus stormed out of the mansion in a rage. He had gone to check on his wheelchair bound errant grandchilde, only to find the room empty except the abandoned wheelchair. Angelus had torn through the dresser drawers and the trunks. What he found was ... nothing. All of Spike's things that had survived the factory fire were gone.

Angelus sniffed the air in an attempt to catch Spike's scent. As he followed the trail, he fumed about the rumor he'd heard from the minions about Spike and the special diet the younger vampire had been partaking in for the past few months. The minion that brought the younger vampire what was supposed to be bagged pig's blood revealed that he had actually been picking up special shipments of human blood from Willy the Snitch. Mid-stride Angel decided that maybe he should go visit Willy before he sought out Spike.

Moments after Angelus arrived at the Alibi Room, the demon bar ran by Willy the Snitch, he was alone with the quivering mass of human flesh. Angelus laughed with glee when he smelled the fear on Willy. After all, he still needed to pay the little backstabber back for selling him out to Spike months before.

"So, Willy," Angelus' voice dripped with intent, "You want to tell me about the special blood you've been sending to Spike?" He snarled when the snitch shook his head violently. "I think you had better spill all the juicy information."

Willy could feel his bladder let go. "I can't tell. If she finds out, she'll beat me up."

"She who?" Angelus growled. He had a bad feeling about this already. There weren't many females in Sunnydale that came around to beat up Willy the Snitch.

"No! No!" Willy shouted. He tried his best to scramble away from the furious vampire. "She'll bring him with her next time. Last time they showed up here together my clientele wouldn't return for a week."

"When was this?" Angelus asked, menacingly. He grasped Willy's shirt firmly in his fist.

"A week ago," Willy whimpered. His mind scrambled for a way to placate the vampire about to beat him up and still survive the onslaught of the two super beings that would show up later for their pound of flesh.

"What did they do while they were here?" Angelus pushed Willy behind the bar. "While I'm here pour me a drink."

Willy immediately grabbed a bottle of his best whiskey, and he poured the vampire a healthy shot. Then he answered, "They came in and sat over there." Willy indicated a booth in a darkened corner. "He had a whiskey, and she had a coke. Then they made out for an hour. Boy, were they hot." Willy rushed to continue when Angelus growled at him. "Then they picked a fight, killed half of my patrons, and scared off the other half. Then, they threatened me with life and limb. Finally, they left."

Angelus tossed back his drink, and he asked, "Have they been spotted anyplace else around town?" He moved around the bar, and he trapped Willy against the back counter.

"A-a-t her house," Willy stuttered when Angelus invaded his space.

"Thanks for your help," Angelus replied in an almost polite voice. He snapped the bartender's neck, and he dropped the body to the floor. Once outside, Angelus pulled his cigarettes from his pocket, and he lit one. Time to go visit the Slayer's house.

The more Angelus thought about Spike and Buffy kissing at the demon bar, the madder he got. He thought about all the meetings that the two had before the infamous organ drop. Maybe that fanatical look in both Buffy's and Spike's faces wasn't the hatred that he thought it was. Angelus picked up his pace towards Buffy's house.

Angelus stood outside Buffy's house listening through an open window. He could hear her giggling inside. She was giggling in a way she had never done with his souled counterpart. When her voice filled his ears, he was instantly jealous. She was his. His to take, his to have, his to kill.

"Stop it, Spike," Buffy giggled, "If we make a mess mom's gonna be really mad."

"Can't have that, can we pet?" Spike replied, "Your mum's right handy with that axe of hers."

Angelus grimaced as kissing and moaning sounds reached him. He edged towards the window in the hopes of seeing what was going on inside. Angelus almost growled out loud as he saw Spike and Buffy engaged in a passionate embrace. Jealousy and desire warred within the vampire as he watched the two blonds kiss and slide their hands all over each other's backs.

Buffy broke away from Spike's lips. "Feed me," she demanded, and she opened her mouth like a little bird. Buffy flipped her long hair around to uncover the bite mark on her neck. She felt Angelus' presence, and she wanted to taunt him.

Angelus' eyes opened wide He recognized his grandchilde's mark upon the Slayer's neck. His eyes instantly flew to check out Spike's neck, but he couldn't tell if Spike had a corresponding bite mark or not. Just then Spike twisted far enough to the side that Angelus' suspicions were confirmed. Buffy had returned the claim, and she'd mated with William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers.

Spike picked up a chunk of cheese with a toothpick. "This one might be a bit spicy, luv. It's just like you." He chuckled at his own joke when he popped the cheese into Buffy's mouth.

Buffy chewed a few times before sucked in a big gulp of air, and she muttered, "Yes, spicy. You can have it." After a few more seconds ,she swallowed the food. Buffy grabbed her glass of sparkling cider, and she took a sip.

Spike popped the next piece of cheese into his own mouth. He chewed it thoughtfully. "Nope, not quite as spicy as you."

"Are you really feeling better, honey?" Buffy asked with concern. She reached out and petted Spike on the cheek.

"You better believe it, baby," Spike snarked, "That steady diet of Slayer blood for the past few months worked wonders."

Angelus saw red for the first time in a very long time. How dare Spike drink Slayer blood! He forgot everything as he bellowed, and he rushed towards the open window. Angelus forgot that his invite had been revoked. So, when he bounced off the invisible barrier, he laid on the ground in surprise. Angelus looked up to see Spike and Buffy looking out the window in curiosity.

"What the hell are you doing outside my house spying on me?" Buffy demanded. She slid the mini sausage she was holding into her mouth, pulled the toothpick out of it, and chewed fiercely. Buffy somehow made it look sexy and menacing at the same time.

Spike growled while he watched Buffy eat. She was so darned sexy when she ate. Hell, he thought she was so darned sexy when she did anything. Spike couldn't help himself, and he pulled her into his arms and gave her a kiss. He groaned as their tongues entwined. The blond pair immediately forgot about the vampire lying outside on the ground.

"You? Him? You? How?" Angelus sputtered.

Spike broke away from Buffy's lips, and he turned to Angelus. "Well, Peaches, you remember that time you told me to give the Slayer a kiss if she came by the factory?"

Angelus couldn't stop himself from nodding. His jealousy flared again when Buffy gave Spike an indulgent smile.

"Well, I took you up on the offer, and I convinced her to give me a kiss," Spike said in an informative manner. "Can't fault me for that. I had your permission after all. For once I decided to be the perfect grandchilde and do as you told me."

"He's a wicked awesome kisser," Buffy replied in her best Valley Girl voice.

"But he's an evil, soulless creature," Angelus cried. He forgot for a minute that he was one, too.

"True, but he's there in the morning," Buffy whispered conspiringly, as if she was telling her biggest secret. "And he's teaching me all kinds of new tricks. Should I tell you his favorite one?"

"Dru's told me all the little tricks that Spike likes," Angelus tried to boast. He wanted to upset Buffy and get her away from Spike There was no way this upstart little vamp and this little girl were going to get the better of Angelus, Scourge of Europe.

Buffy laughed, "Oh please, like that ho would know anything about Slayer muscles, and their very special uses."

"She sucks in bed, Spike. Didn't you find that out?" Angelus snarked.

Spike smirked at this grandsire, "That she does, Peaches, that she does. Nothing like having her hot little gob sucking..." Spike broke off when Buffy hit him across the chest. Then he brightened considerably, and he shifted into game face. He waggled his tongue at the Slayer before he continued taunting Angelus. "I can tell you what she really likes. There's the fact that I don't have to breathe, and my tongue hits all the right spots."

"Spike," Buffy yelped.

Angelus stared at the two blonds, and he snarled, "Thought you said demons don't change, boy. Called Angel ... what was it? Oh yeah, 'the Slayer's lapdog'." Angelus turned his attention to Buffy, " Looks like you traded one wimp for another, Buff."

Spike growled. He would have leapt out to challenge his grandsire, but a small, gentle touch kept him in his spot.

"Angelus, you're an egotistical asshole," Buffy stated, "Now get out of here before I find my favorite stake. You're interrupting my evening with my mate." She offhandedly flicked the toothpick she still held at the vampire with all her Slayer strength.

Angelus' eyes opened wide as he felt the sliver of wood enter his chest and find his heart. There was nothing he could do as he crumbled into dust.

Spike stared at the spot that his grandsire had just occupied, "Bugger, luv. Never heard of death by toothpick before."

Buffy smiled sweetly, and she kissed her vampire on the cheek.





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