Spike pressed play on his battered CD player and the angsty sounds of Coldplay filled the lonely crypt. He tried not to breathe deeply or the acrid smell of smoke would burn his sensitive nose and dead lungs. He was still in shock from Buffy blowing his crypt to bits and breaking up with him.
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
God she was lovely, wasn’t she? But apologizing for who and what he was? It would never happen. He never regretted being a vampire and killing all the people who gave their lives to him so that he might survive. He’d tried to change, though, for her; willingly donned the white hat, endured torture from a Hellgod and the disdain of her friends, to no avail.
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Just a few months ago he’d been privy to her secrets. She shared things with him she didn’t want to tell her friends. In a way, it had been a fresh start for them. Starting as friends, not enemies.
Running in circles
Coming in tales
Heads are a science apart
Being with her had been like running in circles. He’d been her sodding puppy dog; at her beck and call for whatever she needed, from patrolling to fucking.
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
An older memory surfaced; Buffy dancing in the Bronze with Harris and Red while he lurked around the edges, sizing her up for their upcoming battle. If only he could go back to that time, do it all a little differently. She’d been so young and innocent and her heart wasn’t closed off like it was now, thanks to the wankers in her life who’d used her and tossed her aside.
I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
He’d tried so hard to be what she needed, but he couldn’t pin her down. Her moods were mercurial; changing without warning, and she denied that he could bring her any happiness. It had probably been a mistake to let her explore her dark side with him. After all she’d been through, she still didn’t accept that part of herself, and that had done them in. What was in his heart did not matter to her. She would never believe that he was capable of loving her.
Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
His cock stirred briefly as he remembered last night, when she came into his crypt begging to hear him say he loved her. It had been urgent, but sweet love-making, the most tender she’d let him get with her since they’d started shagging. He had no idea then that it would be their last time.
Running in circles
Chasing tails
And coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
The last four years had been torture. Even though he hadn’t realized he’d loved her two years ago, there was still a force drawing them together even then. He’d wanted to bag his third Slayer, but had not been able to. Admitting that he was in love with her had been a leap of faith on his part, and he knew it would be tough going to stay in Sunnydale. But then he remembered his mother saying, “Good things come to those that wait.” And finally, she came to him. And it was like everything and nothing he’d expected. He certainly hadn’t pictured it ending like this. In fact, he never considered it ending. They’d only just begun and their time together was barely a blip on his immortal timeline.
I'm going back to the start
What if he could go back and change it all? Before she had a chance to close up the walls around her heart?
Tipping back the bottle of JD, he gulped the last of the whiskey and tried to get comfortable on the bloody sarcophagus. God, did he ever miss his bed. He closed his eyes, but before he could fall asleep he was overcome by a dizzying sensation. When he stomach quit lurching he opened his eyes, only to find himself standing inside the bronze. Feeling disoriented, he looked around and saw Buffy on the dance floor, dancing with Red and Harris.
He tried not to watch, but he couldn’t resist. His eyes were held in place by her swaying body, exuding her innate sexuality. He realized something was wrong when he took a closer look. Her hair was totally different, and she looked like she’d gained a little weight. Willow and Xander looked different as well. When he felt the presence of another vampire at his side, he looked over and realized what was happening. He’d been brought back to the night he first saw Buffy. The demon next to him was waiting for Spike to tell him to get someone to eat so he could see the Slayer in action.
Spike didn’t know if he was dreaming, or had been cursed by a vengeance demon, or what, but he knew he’d somehow been given a second chance. Beckoning for the other vamp to follow him, he led the unsuspecting wanker into the hall outside the restrooms. Kicking him in the knee, the vamp fell to the ground, and Spike wasted no time getting behind him and twisting his head off. Now he was ready to make his next move.
He entered the men’s room and ran some water over his hands, getting them nice and wet. He brought them to his head and repeated the motion until he’d teased some curls out of the stiffly gelled helmet he usually wore. He knew Buffy liked his curls because she’d actually admitted it out loud once.
Satisfied with his hair, he left the bathroom and spotted an empty chair near the dance floor. He took off the duster and laid it over the back, then buttoned up the red silk shirt he was sporting. The shoes couldn’t be helped, but he did manage to pull the legs of his jeans out and over the tops of his boots. He hoped he looked a little more normal and less Big Bad.
Gathering his nerve, he made his way through the throng of dancers, not allowing the musk of horny teenagers and pumping of young, fresh blood to distract him from his task. When she was within touching distance he held out his hand and coughed to get her attention.
“May I have this dance?” he asked; voice just loud enough to be heard above the band. His accent was soft and smile genuine.
Wide green eyes caught his immediately and a smile lit up her face.
“Sure,” came the reply, and a dainty, feminine hand was placed in his.
‘Back to the start,’ Spike told himself, tightening his grip slightly on the Slayer in his arms as they remained on the floor for their fourth song. He wouldn’t blow it this time. Not this second chance.
Author's Chapter Notes:
My first ever published fic. There's plenty more where that came from if you all like.
Lyrics for Coldplay's "The Scientist" from Lyrics.com
Lyrics for Coldplay's "The Scientist" from Lyrics.com