Chapter 24

“I see we all seem to be enjoying the new play-set.”

“William, they love it. They can’t get enough of the slide and the swings. Santa was very good to the kids this year.”

“Isn’t he good to them every year?” William asked before taking Tara aside. “Pet, what should we do about naptime today? I was thinking we’d skip it since their schedules are out of whack on account of our late lunch. How are they holding up?”

“They’re doing okay. Jamie’s still in good spirits, Sarah’s been yawning but she hasn’t had a meltdown yet, and Joy, she--.”

“Oh, Joy doesn’t get a choice. I’ve decided that I am definitely due for a nap and I’m taking the baby with me.”

Buffy watched as William slipped Joy out of her baby swing. While mumbling soft words, he kissed her cheek before cradling her in his arms.

“Sarah, Jamie, it’s time to head back in the house.” When the kids protested he acted as if he couldn’t hear them. “Buffy, they need to play indoors now. It’s getting colder.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll get them inside.”

“Joy and I will be upstairs for a bit.” William walked past her and into the house, leaving Buffy uncomfortably aware that he hadn’t looked in her direction since he had followed her into the backyard.

I’m sure he’s just tired. It’s been another long day. And I did tell him he could have all the time he needed…

“Buffy?”

“Yes?” Eyes focused on Tara, Buffy tried her best to return Tara’s smile. “So, how will we get the twins away from their precious park? We could watch another movie or we could play a game. Guys, we can play one of your new board games. How about the first one inside gets to choose what we play?”

Without saying a word, Jamie took off in a determined run.

“That wasn’t too hard,” Buffy began. She was about to pat herself on the back further, but she was interrupted by Sarah’s frustrated cry. “Oh my goodness,” she said, turning on her heel. “What was I thinking? She’s practically strapped into that thing! Tara, can you get Jamie back here? We’ll have to line them up and try this again.”

“Sarah, I’m sorry.” She pulled the toddler out of the t-shaped seat and sighed once a tiny pink tennis shoe fell to the ground. “I remember hating these stupid harness swings. I know they keep you safe, but they’re such a hassle.”

After scooping Sarah up, she perched her on top of the slide. “You sit still and I’ll put your shoe back on, sweetie. I’m sure you’ll have them off the second you get inside, but you’ll need both of your shoes if you want to beat your brother. And I’m sure you want to beat him, am I right?”

When Sarah’s head bobbed up and down enthusiastically, Buffy tickled her sides. “Okay, your shoes are officially tied. Go down the slide and I’ll catch you at the bottom.”

“What about me?! Catch me too!”

After lowering Sarah safely to the ground, Buffy looked up to find Jamie standing at the top of the slide. “You want to be caught? Come on, I’m ready for you.”

“Can I do that again?!”

“Tomorrow we’ll come out here and I’ll catch you as many times as you want. Does that sound good?” She expected Jamie to pout as they walked away from the slide, but instead he giggled happily in her arms.

“I want ten catches.”

“We can do that.”

“I want—give me twenty catches, mommy!”

“That might be a little harder to arrange, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“How about fifty thooousand?”

“Sorry, buster, but that just isn’t going to happen.” After releasing his fidgety body, she looked up to find Tara still smiling at her. “Did you hear him say fifty thousand? Since when did Big Bird start teaching kids to count that high?”

“Um, well since never,” Tara replied with a quiet laugh. “You know Jamie, he picks up numbers from everywhere. This morning he was trying to convince me that Santa had brought him seventy-five million presents.”

“I’ve always been a fan of exaggerations and embellishments. He gets that from me.”

“Oh, because William never exaggerates. Nope, not your husband.”

“I see what you’re saying. Jamie gets it from both of us…yikes, the poor little guy.”

“Buffy, you might want to get this race started before they get back on the swing set.”

“Good thinking. Okay guys, we’ll try this one more time! The first one on the living room couch gets to pick our game!”

“Stand next to each other first! A-and there will be no pushing! The second person on the couch gets to choose the second game we’ll play!” Tara added quickly. “Sorry,” she whispered with a lower voice that only Buffy could hear. “I didn’t want to steal your thunder, but we needed a starting line and something set up so there wouldn’t be a loser.”

“Because only having one winner is bad?”

“Yes, because then the loser gets upset and feels as if he or she has been left out.”

“Oh. Good thinking again. You’re really on a roll here.”

“And you—well, sorry Buffy, but you seem to be a little off today. You aren’t acting like yourself.”

“That…that’s an interesting and fair observation.”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m alright, but we’ll talk more about me later. Let’s get the kids settled first. What should I say: ready-set-go or should I just count down from three?”
***

“This kid right here is absolutely amazing. She speeds past her brother like it's nothing, picks the game we have to play, and then falls asleep within five minutes.”

They were all sitting on the carpet in front of the Christmas tree. Tara was to Buffy’s right, Jamie was to her left, and Sarah was in curled up in her lap.

“And of all the games, she picks a memory game,” Buffy continued with a snicker. Instead of trying to reach out for the cards that were laid out in a big square, she ran her fingers over Sarah’s ponytail. “Jamie, can you turn over the corner that’s closest to you? And I also want the one that’s in the last column, three up from the bottom.”

“Turn over this one,” Tara whispered to Jamie. “And this one.”

“You got two puppies!”

“Turn over the one that’s two from the top in the second column and the one that's to the right of it.”

"Here and here," Tara whispered again helpfully.

“Woooah! Two frogs!”

“You can pick the next two for me, Jamie.”

“Um, um,” he replied while tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I like this one and this one. Oh no, it’s a bunny and cow. I go again. Tara, it’s my turn. I went for my mom and now I go for me.” He reached for one of the cards and rested his head on the carpet so he could peek at hidden picture. “It’s a blue fish! I know where the other blue fish is!”

“You might want to try the one underneath that one--.”

“Mommy! No cheating!”

“Hey, I thought I was being helpful. I would never cheat--.”

“Don’t even try it, Buffy. You’ve boasted too many times. We all know that you used to mark the cards on your memory game when you were little.”

“You actually know about that? Seriously? Gosh, just wait until the kids are old enough to play Clue. I have an entire cheating system for that game--."

"Don't—don’t cheat, mom! It’s bad and I'll tell daddy!"

"Pffft. Your daddy is the biggest cheater I know. He cheats a heck of a lot more than I do." When Jamie gasped dramatically, Buffy laughed. "Tara, it's your turn."

"Where is my dad?!"

"He's sleeping. In fact, you might want to use your inside voice so he can continue to sleep."

"My insides? What? What?!"

"He doesn't know about inside and outside voices?"

"He's just being silly,” Tara answered. “That’s a funny question for you to ask though. You were the one who told him about inside and outside voices. I was with you. We had the kids at the mall and—Buffy, don’t you remember this? It wasn’t even that long ago.”

“I can’t remember much of anything,” Buffy admitted casually. Without disturbing Sarah, she flipped over two of the closest cards. “I woke up a few days ago—on the twenty-third, if you’d like the exact date—and my mind’s been blank ever since.”

“Blank?”

“Wiped like a clean slate.” She let out a nervous laugh. “Six years just went poof overnight. I have no memory of important things. Marriages, births, birthdays, Christmases. It’s all gone.”

“Buffy, I-I don’t know what to say. Is there anything I can do?”

“Tara, play now! It’s your turn!”

“Have you talked to anyone about this?” she whispered after quickly looking at two random cards. “A doctor…anybody?”

“No, but William and I will make an appointment tomorrow. I’d appreciate it if you could watch the kids when we…when we go to that appointment.”

“Of course. I’ll be here for as long as you need me.”

“Thank you. You’ve been a big help today.”

“I haven’t done that much--.”

“Come on, don’t be modest. Not only have you been saving me from my mistakes, you completely bailed us out food-wise today. And once you fill in the gaps about what we talked about earlier, you’ll prevent me from having one hell of a panic attack.”

“Gaps?”

Buffy looked down at Sarah and she carefully lifted her out of her lap. “I hate to move her, but my legs are starting to fall asleep. She’s such a heavy sleeper, literally.”

“Jamie, how are you?” she asked as she got to her feet. “How’s your game going?”

“You’re winning, mom. I’m taking your turn and Tara’s turn and my turn and you’ve got the most matches!”

“Thank you for playing for us. Do you want to continue your game, or would you rather sit with me on the couch?”

“I wanna play my game and then I wanna play with my trucks!”

“Okay, just thought I’d offer.” Buffy took a seat and hugged a throw pillow to her chest. “He doesn’t want to sit with me. He’d rather play with his trucks.”

“That’ll happen from time to time, but he’s definitely a mama’s boy.”

“At least we can talk without interruption for a little while. Would you like to sit next to me?”

“Sure.” After sitting next to Buffy, Tara pulled at the sleeves of her sweater until they covered her hands. “So…you want me to fill in some of your gaps.”

“You told me that I was lying to William. Can you tell me more about that?”

“I can, but are you sure you want to know about this right now? You should wait until you see someone about your memory loss. You shouldn’t add to your stress level--.”

“I’ve been worrying all day. I want to know so I can tell him—Tara, if I’ve betrayed William, I need to know all the details.”

“I just overheard a phone call.”

“Okay. When was this, last week?”

“You had the day off. I thought you were gone, but I heard you arguing with someone in the laundry room.”

“Was William home? Are you sure I was alone?”

“You were on your cell phone. You were telling someone that you had to cut down on your leg work on the—on the Angel case.”

“Angel?”

“A few months ago, you and William were asked to go back undercover. You both refused, or at least that was what you were telling people.”

“I’m in the field? William said I was working the evidence window.”

“That’s what I thought too. You told whoever it was that you’d continue to work undercover until Angel was caught…even in your condition.”

“In my condition? What’s wrong with me? Do you know why I’ve lost my memory?”

“I know that you’re pregnant.”

“Excuse me?”

“William doesn’t know. After you, well, after you found me eavesdropping you weren’t exactly happy to see me. You made me promise not to say anything. You’d tell him after Angel was arrested.”

“I said that? God, I must really be close to nailing that bastard. And you think William doesn’t know about this? That seems hard to believe. Chasing Angel was never a job that could fit a nine-to-five time slot. He never came out of hiding until the sun went down. I can’t imagine--.”

“Buffy, William hates Angel, but he hates the idea of you putting yourself in danger even more. If you were working undercover--.”

“He’d be right next to me,” she mumbled. “We never worked alone. It sounds cliché, but we were a team. He was my partner. And—damn it….” She stopped to let out a sigh, “he would never agree to us going back on the Angel case. We have kids. I must’ve done it behind his back.”

“And now that you’re pregnant…”

“You’re sure about that? You’re sure that I’m pregnant?”

“That’s what I overheard and you definitely confirmed it.”

“Did you hear anything else?”

“No, that’s it.”

“And it’s…it’s his baby, right? History isn’t completely repeating itself…right? Because, Tara, before the shooting…I-I just didn’t know.”

“You knew after though. I know because I was there with you when you heard the results of the paternity test.” She scooted a little closer and squeezed Buffy’s hand. “William was the father.”

Buffy inhaled sharply as tears filled her eyes. “Why didn’t I tell him?”

“For his own good, I think. Sweetie, William blamed himself. He--.”

“I know.”

“Knowing might’ve pushed him over the edge.”

“Just wait until he hears about all this. I already dropped a bomb on him earlier. Now he’ll learn that I’ve been lying, sneaking around, that I’m pregnant--.”

“I highly doubt he’ll be upset about your pregnancy. You wanted another baby, you’ve been trying for a little while, and from what I can see, you aren’t very far along.”

“I got pretty drunk Thursday night. You were a nurse, right? Do I think I hurt my baby?”

“I think the baby will be okay. Just stay away from alcohol from now on. You might let your doctor know, but I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“That is easier said than done. Up until today I’ve only been worrying about amnesia, now everything seems so much more complicated.”

“Buffy, you should be more worried about your relationship with William than anything else. Your memories will come back.”

“How can you be so confident? This is the third day and--.”

“Just trust me. I-I know of some people, I’ll give them a call.”

“Medical people? A doctor?”

“People who can help,” Tara responded as another blush colored her cheeks.

“Okay. I’ll take all the help that I can get, but that sounds awfully mysterious.”

“Let me see what I can do.” She smiled at Buffy before giving her a quick hug. “Go tell your husband the good news. Tell him about your new baby on the way. It’ll be the best Christmas present you can give him.”
***





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