Chapter 25

William was lying on his back as Joy slept soundly on his chest. Just the sight of father and daughter resting together was enough to take Buffy’s breath away. She tiptoed further into the bedroom before quietly shutting the door behind her. Without hesitating, she joined them on the bed, stretching out and scooting over until her body was brushing against William’s side.

“Do you mind if I join you?” she asked softly once she noticed he was watching her. “I hate to ruin your quiet time with Joy, but I couldn’t resist.”

“Oh this? Jo and I do this all the time.”

“Does that make it any less special?” When he didn’t respond, she kissed and pressed a hidden smile into his shoulder. “Have you been sleeping?”

“No, I guess you could say that I’m too wound up. I can’t clear my head long enough to truly relax. I can’t stop thinking.”

“About me?”

“About a lot of things. But you’re right; all my thoughts seem to circle back to you.”

“Is that a good thing? Or are you being sarcastic?”

“Just telling the truth, pet.”

Their eyes locked for a moment, but it was Buffy who looked away. Taking a deep breath, she tried to snuggle even closer to his body.

“Hold on.” With one hand to Joy’s back, William lifted up just enough to invite Buffy under his other arm. “Get over here.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, although she was already moving. “I don’t want to crowd our baby.”

“She doesn’t mind. I promise you she’s used to this.”

“She looks so peaceful. I’ve missed her.” As she spoke, Buffy swept a finger over the top of Joy’s tiny fist. “William, what have you been thinking about? If we talked about it, would it help you wind down? Would it clear your head?”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt. Airing out my feelings like a tosser might do me some good right about now,” he admitted with a laugh and a roll of his eyes.

“I feel silly asking this, but I need to know: are you mad at me?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” he admitted as he stared up at the ceiling. “I have a right to be hurt, but can I truly justify being angry? You thought up a nasty piece of work with your scheme, but you couldn’t go through with it. Angel made sure of that. But then you left Riley, and that certainly wasn’t part of your original plan. And on top of everything, you can’t remember a bloody thing. Summers, I want to be angry, but I can’t be angry with you without feeling like a complete asshole.”

“William, you aren’t an asshole.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. A part of me can’t stand the thought of you getting off easily.” He placed a kiss on her temple before letting out a heavy sigh. “But then the adult half knows that you’re hurting as much as I am. Love, I know you’ve been crying.”

“You’re a very observant man.”

“Did you speak with her?”

“I did.”

“What did Big Bad Tara tell you?”

“She isn’t that bad. You were right about her actually. I saw her interact with the kids—well, with Jamie mostly. Sarah fell asleep in my lap the second she came inside.”

“And?”

“And maybe this isn’t the best time to talk about specifics?” she began weakly. “I told her everything, and Tara told me everything that she knew. She was honest and caring and—William, I have good news and I have bad news. I don’t know if I should unload all my news on you at this very minute though.”

“Alright,” he said simply. “It’ll wait then.”

Instead of staring at the ceiling again, he just closed his eyes. Buffy watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed.

“Okay, now you are mad at me.”

“No.”

“William, you are the only person I know who can look downright gorgeous when he’s scowling.”

“I’m not scowling.”

“The way you hold your mouth, especially when you’re unhappy with me? God, it has always killed me. You want to look like such a badass, but there’s always a hint of a pout to your lips. It’s irresistible.”

When William remained still and non-responsive, Buffy just barely touched his forehead. Without breaking contact with his skin, she drew a feathery light line to his nose, over his lips, and down to his chin. While cupping his jaw with her hand, she kissed him and she was pleased to discover she wouldn’t have to coax him into kissing her back.

“William,” she whispered. “Maybe I should take Joy downstairs.”

“She isn’t a doll, Buffy. You can’t just put her away whenever you feel like it.”

She opened her mouth and closed it. She rolled away from him, sat up and brought Joy into her lap. She kissed her chubby cheeks and was greeted with a sleepy smile. “What are we going to do with your daddy, sweetheart? Is it just me, or do you think he’s begging us for a kick in the pants?”

Taking a deep breath, she moved her head slightly to catch a glimpse of William behind her. Once she spoke, she kept her eyes on Joy, who was happily grabbing at Buffy’s fingers. “I’m not sure how you’ll react to everything I have to say. I don’t want Jo caught in the crossfire. But then, I’m not sure how she’ll react to my news either.”

“What does Joy have to do with it?”

“She won’t be the baby anymore.”

“What? What are you--.”

“Gosh, if Little Miss Grabby isn’t pulling my hair, she squeezing the crap out of my fingers and trying to bite me.”

“I doubt she’s trying to bite you. Joy doesn’t have many teeth. Buffy, now what did you mean by--.”

“I should get her chewy butterfly.” Buffy scooted off the bed with Joy propped against her hip. “I think it’s in her room.”

Buffy hurried into the nursery and placed Joy into her crib as she searched for the butterfly-shaped teething ring. She scanned the top of the dresser before dropping to the floor.

“Summers, what the hell are you doing down there?”

“Her chewy…I just found it. Here it is, but I need to wash it before Joy gets it back.”

“That’s interesting.”

“Why?” On all fours, she turned toward his voice and came face-to-face with his shins.

“I haven’t seen that thing for days.”

“Days?” She took William’s offered hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. “I guess that explains why it’s so grody.”

“Buffy, do you remember dropping it?”

“Not exactly, but I knew where it was, didn’t I?” she asked as a smile tugged on her lips. “That means I remembered something. Sure it’s about Jo’s chewy, but God, it’s something and I’ll take it.” Her smile grew and she leaned it to give William a quick kiss. “You know, I think I remembered something earlier too, about swings. I remembered how much I hated the harness ones. Sarah’s shoe got caught, it popped off and it felt as if I’d gone through that before.”

“That’s wonderful, pet. Is this the good news you have for me?”

“Um… It’s definitely good news, but it isn’t the good news...”

“What did you mean before? About Joy no longer being a baby?”

“That isn’t what I said.” She found a different pacifier on the dresser and she slipped it into Joy’s mouth. “Maybe I didn’t word it right before, but what I meant to say was that Joy won’t be the baby of our family anymore. She’s getting a promotion. She’s…she’s gonna be a big sister.”

She waited and a minute later, he crept behind her. With her back to his chest, she could feel his heart pound.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Ah huh.” Her eyes closed briefly once his hands found their way to her stomach. “Surprise.”

“Surprise? Fuck, Buffy, this is certainly a surprise,” he laughed. “We’re going to have another baby? That’s incredible.”

“We’ll be a family of six. Six, William. Honey, that’s a lot of people to take care of.”

“It’s brilliant,” he announced, his voice thick with emotion. “Six is a fucking fantastic number.”

“You really think so?”

“Don’t you?”

He spun her around and once she saw his bright blue eyes, her knees nearly gave out. Unable to answer right away, she nodded before whispering, “I think it’s amazing.”

“Four kids will be a challenge, but we’re up for it, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she answered with a grin. “Memories or no memories, I’ll have to get my shit together, that’s for sure.”

He chuckled and gave her a comforting squeeze. “Babe, you’re happy, yes?”

She nodded again and found herself swept up in a passionate kiss that sent waves of warmth down to her toes.

“How far along are you? Do you know? Oh, of course you don’t know.” He snickered into her neck between kisses. “I bet Mary Poppins had to tell you that you were pregnant. And how the bloody hell did she know?”

“Mary Poppins? Really?” she teased. “Tara just overheard a conversation.”

“Which conversation was this? Who was speaking to whom?”

“I was speaking to someone on my cell phone. I was in the laundry room. Tara thinks it was a work-related call, and that I was talking to a work person.”

“I see.”

“What do you see?”

“You were keeping up your part of our bargain.”

“We had a bargain?”

“One minute,” William said. He pointed behind her to where Joy was hopping on wobbly legs with her fingers wrapped around the crib’s railing. “We’d better keep an eye on that one. Our girl’s daring just like her mother, and I’m afraid if we don’t free her from that cage, she’ll take matters into her own hands.”

“Don’t look so panicked,” he continued. He let Joy out, placed her on the carpet in front of a few toys and sat next to her. “Take a seat, pet.”

“We sure spend a lot of time on the floor.” Once Buffy joined him on the carpet, she held onto his right arm. “Tell me more about this bargain.”

“We had an agreement, that’s all. If we ever made it to four, we’d change a few things.”

“Such as?”

“You didn’t want to work with four little ones at home.”

“Is that really an option? Can we raise four kids on one income?”

“That’s where things get a tad hairy. You see we were offered promotions not long ago. We’d be back in the field, working nights again but with better pay. We got caught up in quite a tussle over it actually. I wouldn’t let you consider it so you resented me for being an overprotective prick. And before you ask: yes, those were your exact words. We had some sleepless nights. I had a week on the couch, but I’ll have you know, more often than not, you ended up with me under the covers.”

When Buffy snickered, he grabbed at her thigh and gave it a squeeze. “We agreed to disagree. I wouldn’t let you take the job. You insisted that I do the same. The only exception to the rule was if we had another mouth to feed. Then you wanted to stay home while I…well, while I provide for you and our family.”

“And you expect me to believe that?” she laughed.

“You have become much more reasonable with age. In fact, it isn’t farfetched to say you’ve even came to your senses—hey!” he yelped when she pinched his arm.

“I don’t think we decided on squat. You’re making up stories.”

“Maybe, but—hey, don’t poke me, not in front of the kid!”

“Oh, like Joy cares.” They continued to playfully scrap until pokes became tickles and Buffy found herself gasping for air. “Okay, okay! Stop!”

“I’m not done with you,” William said. Holding her close, he gave her a deep searching kiss. “It doesn’t have to be a story. We’re spinning our wheels where we are now. I miss fighting the good fight. Ticketing speeders and breaking up gangs at the mall—damn it, Buffy, we used to do so much more!”

“At least you do that much. I’m stuck behind a desk. Why should I stay home like June Cleaver? We can take the promotions, make twice money, and spend time with the kids too. Everybody would win.”

“No.”

“No? We can’t talk about this?”

“We’ve had this conversation before, Buffy. You may not remember it, but I don’t want to have it again. I won’t have you chasing after drug dealers and murderers. I know you’re bloody brilliant and you’re an amazing cop, but you’re my wife. I almost lost you once and I refuse to just stand by while you put yourself in a dangerous situation day after day. Can you imagine our kids growing up without their mother?”

“Can you imagine our kids growing up without you? I know I’m the one who got shot, but you’re not invincible. You expect me to just sit at home when you’re out there fighting your so-called good fight without me to cover you? Your new partner will do his job, but how am I supposed to know that he’ll truly put himself on the line for you?”

“Buffy. Come on, pet--.”

“I won’t let you patronize me.”

“Where are you going?”

“Downstairs to spend the rest of Christmas with our kids and you’re coming with me.” Buffy picked up Joy and offered to help William to his feet.

“You think I’m an overprotective prick.”

“Among other things, but I’m not any better. I might end up being something worse when all is said and done.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because Tara told me that I’ve been tracking Angel.” She said the words quickly and avoided looking him in the eye, fully prepared for William to blow his top. “I wasn’t quitting my job, William. I’ve been working undercover. I’ve been after Angel behind your back. That’s why I didn’t tell you about the baby sooner. You’d make me quit and I’m close to making an arrest.”

She felt him try to remove Joy from her arms. “Don’t take her away. I’m sorry. I’m sure I’m doing it because you’re overprotective. I’m acting out, I guess.”

“I should wring Tara’s neck.”

“Please don’t. Don’t take it out on her.”

“Buffy, will you look at me? Tara had no idea what she was listening to when she overheard that bloody phone call. I know about Angel.”

“What?” she whispered.

“We’ve been doing it together, alright? Damn it, we hardly even get out of the sodding car most nights! It’s more of a game than anything else. We park the car, we feel each other up, and we get home before the nine o’clock news.”

“I’m not working undercover?”

“No, absolutely not. You thought I wouldn’t know if you were?”

“Well, it didn’t really make sense but…”

“I even told you about this two days ago, sweetheart. We’re working with the new detectives. We follow a few of the leads. Most of them are considered dead on arrival though.”

“So we turned it into some kinda sex game?” she asked as she blushed. She rested her warm cheek against Joy’s soft hair.

“Eh, more or less. We are closer than ever to putting him behind bars. It’s only a matter of time.”

“I feel so stupid. I thought I was some kind of superhero hell-bent on avenging our baby’s murder. I actually thought that I dashed around Sunnydale, beating up bad guys in between refilling sippy cups and naptime… I thought that I was hurting you by choice and it was killing me. But none of it was true.”

William slipped Joy from Buffy’s arms. He put his hands on the sides of Buffy’s face before kissing her.

“We’re actually happy, aren’t we?” she asked quietly.

“Happy and a little boring some might say. We work, we take care of kids, we talk, we shag—you get the picture.”

“I don’t lie to you.”

“Not very often. When you do, you confess at some time or another. I’m the same way. It’s a thing between us, see?”

“I’m a good wife.”

“And a good mother. Don’t forget it.”

“William, I’m just so relieved.”

“Me too,” he said, matching the softer tone of her voice. “I love you, Buffy.”

She leaned and while she kissed him, his hand crept under her shirt and rested on her stomach. “I love you too.”

“At least Big Bad Tara was spot-on about one thing.”

“Is the baby really a surprise or did you know about that too?”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later. We’ve been giving it our all, you know.”

“I can imagine.” He wagged an eyebrow at her and Buffy had to smile. “We seem to be pros when it comes to baby-making, especially since this should be our fifth.”

“Now that is a number not to take lightly.”

“William…”

“It’s alright. You don’t have to say a word. Call me a greedy bastard, but I’m just glad I’m the only one who’s given you children. Finn—that pathetic poof never had it in him.”

“You always say the sweetest things…thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And we do make adorable children.”

“You want to see them, don’t you?”

“Yes, please.”

“Get Joy then. Let’s salvage the rest of our holiday.”
***





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