Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, so I decided that this deserved a proper ending, there is another story swimming around in my head that carries on from here, but I have no idea when I will have the time to write it... So hope you like it.
It was two months later that Spike finally returned to his father’s house, quite a bit worse for the wear. He arrived in the middle of the day, to the empty house he had been expecting. All signs that Buffy and Katie had once lived there had been erased.

He had spent a month in a German hospital after suffering a stomach wound and he was still on very strong painkillers, but he knew that he had to see Buffy again so he had left as soon as he could, against the doctor’s advice.

He hadn’t spoken to anyone since he had left, but he knew from his contacts that the shooting of John Fletcher was considered an unsolved murder, one that wasn’t being seriously investigated, given that there had been no bullet or casings found at the scene. He clinically remembered waiting for the beaten man to regain consciousness, partly because he still had issues with shooting an unconscious man and partly because he wanted the Bastard to know exactly who was killing him and why.

No, none of Angel’s fellow agents would say anything and the formal report states that they found him dead, just outside the doorway. He hadn’t looked into it more than that, other than to be assured that his brother was fine and had been released after a night of observation.

His mission had been complicated and he had been shot whilst passing the stolen documents to his British liaison. He had been able to get to the extraction helicopter which had taken him to the closest British military base, in Germany where they had patched him up. Shaking off the memory he moved into the kitchen and started preparing chicken for dinner, his movements were restricted by the almost constant pain he suffered with every movement, but he carried on keeping himself active until six, when Giles entered the house to the welcoming smell of roast chicken.

Walking into the kitchen to see his white faced son popping painkillers dry he stopped unsure of what to say.

“Hi da, the chicken will be done in a few minutes if you wanted to get cleaned up.”

Giles was furious “You disappear without a trace after everything that happened and you just walk back in as if it’s all okay?” He shouted. “And what the hell have you done to yourself?” he added concerned.

Spike winced, “I’m… I got shot. Look they called, I had a job to do. You know that’s the way it’s always been. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t call.”

“You got shot?” His father asked stricken, “What the hell?”

“It’s okay, they patched me up, but it looks like I’m back on the books. Guess they were right, I’ll always have a job to do. But given the gunshot wound I have a few months off.”

Calming slowly Giles looked at his son carefully. “You really don’t look well.” And why haven’t you mentioned the absence of Buffy and Katie, he added to himself, but decided not to broach the subject. Buffy had been frantic when she realised that Spike had gone and had called him constantly over the last few months asking if he had heard from his son.

“I’m alright, just need a little rest that’s all. You going to get sorted for dinner?”

“Yes” Giles muttered as he left the room, I guess I shouldn’t get involved, he thought slowly, but I promised I would call as soon as I heard.

He hesitated before picking up the phone, but knew she would find out soon enough and better get this over with he thought with a grimace.

She picked up the phone on the second ring and not knowing what to say, he just blurted it out. “He’s home.”

“Oh.” There was a long pause and then “Thank you” Before the phone was put down gently. Well, he thought with a small amount of indignation, how about that!

He shrugged off Buffy’s strange behaviour and went downstairs to eat a meal with his injured son.

The following day, after roping Willow into looking after Katie, Buffy went to visit Spike. She used her key and entered the house; just a he was walking down the stairs. He stopped dead, just staring at her.

“Hi”

He continued to stare, slowly shaking his head, “You’re here?” he asked inanely, “Thought you and the little bit went back with Angel.”

She sighed sadly, “No, too much history there. We are getting divorced; I’m renting a little house, me and Katie just a few streets over. We’ll buy a house as soon as the house in Washington is sold, Angel doesn’t want to live there anymore and the money I’ll get from the sale will go a lot further here, I should be able to get a place with no mortgage.”

“Oh.” He was still trying to process the fact that she was actually here and he had just taken his painkillers, the world wasn’t making a great deal of sense to him at that point. “So you’re staying in Sunnydale then?” He asked, still standing on the stairs.

“Can we talk?” She asked nervously wringing her hands.

“We are talking.”

“Are you mad at me or something? You just seem really distant.”

He slowly made his way down the stairs, “I spent lot of time thinking while I was stuck in that hospital bed” He started

“You what?” She exclaimed worried. “Why were you in hospital? Why didn’t you call anyone?”

“I got shot…”

“You WHAT?”

“…but that’s really not important at the moment, I’m fine now.” He continued, ignoring her outburst. “As I said, I spent a lot of time thinking and I love you, you and the little bit.

She cut in, “And we love you Spike. I love you.” She stared at him, her eyes cutting into his soul making him close his own, willing away the pain.

“But the fact is, you will always be his wife. That will never go away, will it?” He asked ignoring the denial his own mind screamed at him.

Buffy looked at him carefully, her heart in her eyes. “No. It won’t go away, we can’t erase the past. What exactly are you saying?”

“I can’t do this, Buffy, I just can’t. I can’t wish that you had met me first, because then the little bit wouldn’t be around, but… I can’t… I just can’t do that to him.”

She dropped her head in defeat and turned towards the door. So that was it then, she thought guess it wasn’t meant to be. But then,

She suddenly turned her eyes flashing “So that’s it then?” She asked, her anger masking the fact that she was so close to tears. “You love me, I love you. Jesus! What the hell is going on in your head you idiot?!”

She walked closer to him. “You are a wanker.” She said calmly, her mood changing in a flash. She raised her hand to his face, cupping it gently. “Seriously you are going to give this up?” The question was followed by a gentle kiss to his mouth.

The light kiss made him tremble, he was trying so hard to be noble and self scarifying here and dammit she wasn’t helping. He couldn’t help himself; he deepened the kiss and pulled her to him. The pain from his abdomen, as she came into contact with his stitches caused him to gasp and stagger backwards, they fell and he once again ignored the pain losing himself in the feel of her all around him.

She finally released his lips, breathing heavily. “So?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He rolled them, until she was underneath him and supported himself on his elbows, “So what?” He asked with a smile.

She slapped him on the arm in frustration. “So are you leaving me?”

“Don’t be daft. Why would I do something as idiotic as that!” He laughed before swooping down to kiss her again, sure it wouldn’t be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever was.





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