Spike led Buffy into the restaurant later that night, with a proprietary arm at her waist as she held on to Katie. Buffy, grateful for the support didn’t think too deeply about the reason it was there and just enjoyed the feeling.
They didn’t have to wait long before a bubbly waitress bounced over to seat them. “Spike!” she squealed, “It’s good to see you again” Buffy frowned at the brunette as she leaned in to give Spike a hug. Who the hell was this woman!
“Hi Barb” he responded, hugging the young woman back “How’s that monster of a husband of yours?”
“Oh you know, the same, screaming at the waiting staff, making them quit! I don’t know why I bother anymore!” Her tone was stern but Buffy could see the genuine affection when she spoke of her husband. “And who is this little one?” Barb asked getting a good look at Katie “Don’t you look so much like your mom?” she cooed.
Buffy was utterly charmed, like any mother; she loved the attention doled out on her child. “This is Katie” she responded smiling, “And I’m Buffy”.
“Have you been holding out on me Spike?” Barb teased
“She’s Angel’s wife pet. Here for a visit with Da” Spike told the woman, somewhat subdued, I should have known better than to bring her here he thought suddenly.
“Oh.” Barb was also subdued at the mention of Angel, “Well lets get you a table and a high chair for little Katie” She said grabbing a couple of menus and leading the way into the cosy restaurant.
Once they where seated and Barb had bustled away Buffy asked Spike why the woman had shut down at the sound of Angel’s name.
“Had a bit of a row in high school, all of us did. Most of us have made up now, but Angel’s never come back. Where all great friends back then, all of us, but it didn’t really end well” He didn’t seem to want to elaborate and so Buffy didn’t push him, but she wondered why Angel had never told her about it. Though when she thought about it, Angel had never mentioned much about his life before college, strange she thought and turned her attention to Katie who was busy banging her teething ring on the tray of the high chair.
Buffy spent the meal alternately trying to get to know Spike and trying to stop her daughter from breaking anything, or anyone, given that she had just learn the fun game of “throw everything on the floor and let the adults pick it up”.
She questioned Spike on his college choice, staying far away from the at home with Angel part of his life, knowing that it would only create more problems, for both him and her, for her part, she wasn’t ready to discuss her husband.
“Well, it was partly Dru and partly the fact that I got accepted to Oxford, not something you turn down lightly” He answered her with a smile on his face, “Dru wanted to see England, and she managed to get herself a placement with an old English pottery designer. She was an artist, she used to paint the most bizarre pictures and this old bloke, he was in love with them, made a whole crockery range based on her designs” He sighed and continued, “when I finished my degree, she was doing so well, we decided to stay and then we got married. Kinda like the next step in life you know? Didn’t turn out so good though”
Buffy stared at him as he was speaking and for the first time really looked at him. My God she though, he’s beautiful, she mused, his eyes, even the eighties reject bleach job on his hair is attractive. Her eyes dropped down to his lips and she subconsciously licked her own, thinking of what it would be like if he leaned over right now and…NO! She thought, shaking her head, remember Angel she scolded herself with a flash of guilt. You have a husband and a baby and God! Even to think these things! What are you doing! He’s your brother in law for God’s sake! Yeah and Angel’s been so good to you, her inner voice piped up sarcastically. She stifled that thought quickly and turned her attention back to the table where Spike was looking at her quizzically.
“What?” she asked, quickly.
“Just asked if you have had enough, or if you could fit a dessert in?” Spike said, “Where were you just now? Coz there’s no chance you were here.”
“I was just thinking about how things turn out” Buffy answered quickly “I mean you spent years with Dru and yet in the end it wasn’t enough. How do you live with it?” She finished with a sigh. “And no, there is no chance in Hell I’d ever be able to eat a dessert after all that I’ve eaten!”
“I’ll ask for the bill then” Spike responded with a smile, “and as for the other thing, I’ve had a while to get used to it now, it gets easier. Is it over between you and Angel then?” he asked, hope flaring in his chest.
“I don’t know” she responded, causing his hope to deflate a little. “I just don’t know how it’s ever going to be the same again. I love him, I know that and I know that it’s not ever going to go away, but forgiving and forgetting, even after I know what he’s been through” She paused choked by tears, “I’m not sure I can be that forgiving”.
Spike paid and they left the restaurant shortly after and went home, Buffy was shocked at how easily she had come to think of the Giles’s house as home. She pleaded tiredness once they entered the front door and made her way up the stairs.
“Buffy” Spike called out to her and she turned to look at him “You can’t ever go back pet. The past is in the past and you can’t change what’s happened. You need to move on.” And he added with a smirk, “Maybe the future will be better.”
“Maybe” Buffy responded with a sad smile, “Maybe you’re right” before turning and making her way to her room, Katie asleep in her arms.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
For those of you who want more UST, it's coming. I promise, it's just that Buffy hasn't started looking at Spike that way yet, although she does start to think in that direction this chapter and the next, well... You'll have to wait and see...