"How ya doing?" Buffy asked Spike as he sat up after a two hour nap.

"A bit better. Much better, actually." He smiled at her, accepting the water she handed him. She sat next to him, watching him closely as he drank. He caught this, and frowned. He hated when she worried. He never meant to be such a burden to her.

"Luv, please stop looking at me like that. I feel much better," he told her.

"Okay. I'm glad. Doesn't mean I'm not going worry," she said, taking the canteen from him and drinking from it.

Spike cracked a smile, turning his gaze to the view. They saw the whole world from up here, it seemed. It felt so refreshing to be on top of it all, away from chaos. This strange new world was extremely boring, but beautiful at the same time. Boredom is something he and Buffy would never come to know.

"I'm bored," Buffy said.

Spike looked at her, almost chuckling at his last thought. "Okay, what would you like to do?" Spike leaned in to grab her waist.

"Dunno," she said, pouting to the open air.

There wasn't much to do. They were miles and miles away from anything, which they were warned of ahead of time. They'd reach the church by tomorrow morning, for sure. She wondered what it looked like. She wondered if this priest guy would be nice to them.

"Spike, I think it's time I told you about what had happened in the mansion." She looked at him, sincerely. He waited for her to begin, stroking her back for reassurance.

"I saw you, dead. In a coffin. I know now that this spell was feeding off the fact that I was scared the prophecy was real." She looked him, feeling a twinge of pain.

"Buffy, please.."

"Hold on, there's more. You were lying in a coffin, hands crossed holding a picture. Of us. A wed-wedding picture."

Buffy felt nervous, suddenly. She saw his eyes widen when she said that. She didn't want to make him feel like she was expecting him to ask her or anything so she had to quickly continue. "And there was a picture of us and our son. Cute blondie with blue eyes, like yours. We looked so happy, Spike. But all I could see was your dead body lying there. It tore me open."

Her eyes began to well up with tears. Spike brushed a single tear that ran down her cheek. He kissed it and held her tighter, giving her the love she needed.

She didn't look at him. She needed to tell him all of this. "Then I was like back in time. Maybe before my death. Before Glory. Because you were living with Harmony, and you and I hadn't had sex yet."

"And how did you know that?" Spike asked.

"Just, the stuff you said, it was old stuff. Past stuff. Anyway, I saw you in the basement of the school. You were crazy, and I...I tried to help you, but..."

Tears spilled down her cheeks now. Spike leaned in, kissing her head. She leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling his strength encompass her.

"I beat you. I made you bleed. I...God Spike, it was awful," she sobbed.

"Luv, it was all an illusion. Look, I'm here. Alive and not bloody," he said.

Buffy shook her head. "No, it wasn't that. Spike, I have done that to you. I've treated you like... I've pounded your face in just for being right sometimes. I was horrible." She brought her hands to her face and cried.

"Buffy, please don't cry. I wasn't the most honest bloke back then. I did some things that were unforgivable. I was evil. I hurt you and the ones around you. I didn't deserve anything else from you," Spike assured her.

"Spike, you tried to reach out to me. And I spit in your face. I... abused you. Physically and emotionally," she admitted.

Spike sighed. "I didn't have a soul and I acted horribly. But Buffy, when I did get my soul, you did nothing but be kind to me. Took me in, helped me." He cupped her face and looked into her eyes. "Took care of me. Loved me. Please don't think of those days. We both had some issues to work out. And we did. Look where we are now."

She turned to him, tears spilling down her face. She smiled when he brushed his fingers across her cheeks to wipe them away. He was right, she knew this. But Buffy could never let these things go. When she felt like she was being mean, or unforgiving, she harped on it. She disliked that part of herself.

"I am so sorry for treating you the way I did. I truly am," she said.

"I forgive you Buffy. Do you..."

"Yes, I forgive you too Spike. For everything."

They kissed, gently. Spike felt his own cheeks warm with tears. Far too many people walk around with past haunts, but not them. Not anymore. They have a fresh clean canvas to paint their lives. Any way they wanted.

"Now, I need to know something," Spike said, pulling himself from her to get a good look at her eyes. "What do you see in us, together. Do you think we could actually pull it off?"

He was glad it was dark, because his whole face felt like it was on fire. Last year, would he ever imagine this conversation with her? Not bloody likely.

"I do. I think. After the bogus prophecy, I.. something went berserk in me. I can't explain it. I just feel like time is ticking. You and I... who knows how long we have. I took advantage of time before and it just slapped me in the face. Losing people and never being able to... say I love you, or touch them, or look into their eyes. Now, you and I are so solid, what if..." Buffy looked at him, sadly.

"Buffy, no one knows the future. No one can plan what lies ahead for them. We just have to believe that we'll grow old and die peacefully one day." He swallowed hard after realizing what he just said.

"I know. But Spike, I feel like after all that's happened... wait, are you saying you don't want...?

Buffy's stomach flipped. She suddenly felt awkward. Was she pushing him? Oh God. What was she doing?

"Oh no. I don't want a single day to go by without you in it, believe me. I thought I was dead again! Drusilla was..." Spike suddenly remembered the scene and it made him sick to his stomach. Buffy didn't know the whole story. The illusion he was under in that mansion almost did him in.

"Spike, what happened in there?" Buffy looked at him, expecting an answer.

Spike cleared his throat and began to spill the details of his nightmare. "I saw my old home in England where I lived with my mum. It was empty, except for... Cecily was there. She insulted me, making fun of my poetry which was not too far from reality" Spike joked.

He noticed Buffy wasn't smiling, so he continued. "Anyway, I saw our son too. At least, I think it was. He was how you described. He tried to warn me that danger was coming. He tried to tell me... I don't know, Buffy. It was all so surreal. It almost felt like I was being hypnotized and that's when I saw her."

"Drusilla?" Buffy asked him.

"Yes. At first I fought her, but then, it was like she had some power over me." Spike confessed, ashamed.

Buffy turned away, remembering the time he professed his love for her for the first time. How Drusilla showed up and could make him kill again, with the chip. It made her shiver. "Like the time she helped you drink from someone when you had the chip?"

Spike's eyes grew wide. He had forgotten about that. "I, I guess. Buffy, it's not like..."

"No, I get it. She's your first love. She will always have that power." Buffy looked down at the ground and suddenly felt jealous.

This enraged Spike. He stood up, looking down at her with anger in his eyes. "Power over... are you mad? She doesn't. She didn't... first love? She bloody sired me Buffy. It wasn't real love. It wasn't..." Spike turned his attention to setting sun then back to Buffy. "She's dead, Buffy."

"Yea you mentioned that in the mansion." Buffy said, annoyed.

"It wasn't power she had in that mansion. She took advantage of me. Of my weakness. She..."

"Bit you. You let her... bite you!" Buffy reminded him.

Spike's anger was growing. Buffy got it all wrong, but at the same time, she was right. "I'm sorry, Buffy," he said, defeated. He sat back down next to her.

"You're sorry? That's all? You could have died in there, Spike!"

Spike turned to her and grabbed her hands. She tried to resist so he held them harder. "I didn't die and do you know why? Because at the moment where I felt everything was lost , I saw you. I saw us. I felt your love and I knew you were the reason for everything I 've done in the last few years. You are why I fought the demons inside me. You are why I strive to be a better man." Spike now held her closer to him.

"There wasn't ever another in my life who had that effect on me, Buffy. No one. I let her bite me because I was being manipulated. I was under a spell and I was losing myself in it. I thought everyone would be better off without me. But when I saw your face in my mind, everything became crystal clear. So if you think Drusilla had some power of me, think about the power you have over me. We are here now, together, because of you."

Buffy swallowed hard and glanced at the sunset. She felt terrible. She knew all of this yet she refused to believe that she was the reason for all the good things in his life. She smiled at him, happy to see him return the same grin. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Spike eased. "We are in this together. There isn't anything now that could come between us."

Buffy smiled, but something inside of her knew that whatever happened to them in Los Angeles, it was far from over.