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Author's Chapter Notes:
Just thought i'd clarify a few things before you start reading. Buffy is NOT a Slayer, but Spike is a vampire.

Please review and tell me what u think...but before you do that...

pick how you'd like the story to turn out:

1) Buffy meets Spike, Spike turns her.

2) Buffy gets a wish granted...

3) She carries on with her boring life...
Chapter 1

Buffy collapsed on the bed and lazily pulled her boots off. Retreating into her room was like her sanctuary. She rubbed her sore eyes, she couldn’t remember the time when she actually slept in. Everyday she had to take care of her mother, cook her food and other small choirs around the house. Finding out that Joyce had cancer was the hardest thing to take in, it became harder for Buffy to be around her mother knowing that that day could be her last.

Ofcourse it would’ve been easier if Joyce stayed at the hospital and got proper care, but money was tight, and her father wasn’t too keen on supporting his dying ex-wife. Even the doctors themselves said that it’s the best option, considering the fact that she wouldn’t be getting any better and it’s important that she spends her last days in the comfort of her home with her daughter.

Buffy hated that sometimes she was being selfish enough to think of her mother as a burden. Her social life was non-existent. Her relationship with her boyfriend was going downhill, she just didn’t have the time to go out to parties and all those things she now considered silly. Six months have changed her life completely.

Buffy Summers was the school’s most popular girl, she could have any guy she wanted. She was also the biggest bitch…actually that was an understatement. Even the Queen C was nothing compared to Buffy. But her world was turned upside down the day her parents filed for divorce and her father moved to LA. Soon after that she received phone call from the hospital that changed everything.

Going to school wasn’t an option for Buffy. She had to get a job to support herself and her mother. Working twelve hours a day was just enough to cover the food and medication expenses.

Many nights she cried herself to sleep. She was sure that it was karma. After all, what goes around comes around. She made fun of Xander for being pizza boy, now she herself was making hamburgers. She was so bitchy, that when she needed support of her friends she realised that she none left.

Buffy let out a long sigh and reached into the first draw of her bedside and pulled out a small bottle of bourbon, taking small sips just to dull the pain and to dissolve the reality even if it is for a short time, that was enough to give her strength to keep going and repeat the same routine the next day and the day after that. She kept drinking until she drank all the content of the bottle. Her fingers eased the grip on the bottle, and then she let go of it, letting it fall on the floor with a small thud. She got up from her bed and quickly got dressed before quietly walking down the stairs hoping not to disturb her mother. She glanced at the door to Joyce’s room just before exiting the house.

Joyce knew that her daughter was doing everything she could, she hoped that maybe after she was gone, Buffy would be able to get her life back on track, yet she somehow doubted that. Buffy wouldn’t have any family left, no close friends…no one… she’d have no one.

She heard an object fall on the floor with a thud, she knew what it was, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell Buffy off about her drinking problem. After all she was meant to be taking care of her daughter, not the other way around.

At just 17 Buffy had to go through so much that many would never have to. She knew that Buffy wanted her life back, the one that she had when her father was around. Joyce smiled at the memory of her daughter going to the Bronze with a few friends. She was the prettiest, any mother would say that their child is the best, and it’s true…but Buffy always had that glow as if she was sunshine. Her once bright and make up covered eyes were now dull and constantly red due to the lack of sleep.

Joyce came to peace with her fate a long time ago, she was now only worried about Buffy and how she’d handle everything. Buffy was strong, she knew that, but everyone had their limits.

Closing her eyes she prayed…for Buffy just as she heard the door close.


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Buffy walked the empty streets of Sunnydale. The cool wind chilled her to the bone, but she was determined to get to her destination. After all she promised Devon that she’d come to his party, hopefully that would make up for the last ten dates she had to cancel because she needed more hours at work.

As she reached the house she saw the people were already in the party mood. She could smell alcohol even before she came inside…or maybe it was her breath…. either way everyone had a drink in their hand and danced to the beat of the music that was painfully loud.

She continued walking through the house, looking for her boyfriend who was nowhere in sight. Just then she noticed cheering from all the guys and turned to see what was it all about, only then she hoped she didn’t.

In the middle of the room was Devon and some girl sticking their tongue down each other’s throats and his hands doing god knows what under her skirt. The two of them and all others were clearly off their faces, but that wasn’t a reason good enough to cheat on her with a slut. Buffy knew that it would happen some day…sooner or later, it just happened sooner then she expected. However she felt nothing no anger no hurt or pain…just absolutely nothing. This numb feeling wasn’t new to her, there was this emotion barrier… a void that never used to be there. It was more like a self-protecting mechanism.

She walked out of the house without saying anything, without making Devon aware of her presence. No, she didn’t care any more.





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