Author's Chapter Notes:
please be aware that there is some role reversal between this Buffy and Spike from the cannon series.

on a lighter note , please review if i should continue to post more, this is my first fic and id love to know what you guys think of it. weather its good or bad please let me know.

he rating is currently 15 as the story develops the rating may change as not all kinks are worked out yet.

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to the imagination of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy I am only borrowing characters from his mind, and i do not make any profit from this story.
Prologue - the beginning

“Will do you think you could you ever love me as more than a friend?”
Buffy Summers asked her best friend after confessing her feelings to a shell shocked William. They had just spent the night like every Saturday night watching films and talking about everything that happened that week when he told Buffy he was going to be a writer in New York, They had been sleeping together for about 2 months now, everybody thought it was longer, they had shared a bed since they were so young that it just natural progression for them, well Will at least. “Will please answer me?” it was about 9 days since the last time and Buffy had to know where his heart lay towards her if she was to ruin his dreams.
“Buffy, I’m sorry but you know you’re my best friend, you have always been, it’s just that I don’t think of you as anything else.” Buffy knew that was coming but continued to confess, if he was leaving he had to know some of what her heart said,
“please, don’t leave, I need you, I love you, I can’t imagine not having you in my life.”
“Buffy I have to go, for me, please understand”
“fine, go then but don’t expect me to like it”
“Buffy please …”
He was cut of by her outbreak of tears as she left his room and went home. Buffy knew she had hurt not only herself by saying she loved him but him as well.

“Will please let me finish” Buffy said with some anger in her voice as he cut her off. “Will, William! please listen to me, I love you, I always have and always will, I love your dorky glasses, your eyes, your hair, but most of all you. I think, no I know that it was more than just sex for us both, you were the first and I’ll always love you for that.”

Will had thought about what she had told him, He now knew that he had to leave now, at this moment, if he was to stay things would never return to normal and if he goes they will at least not have to have the awkward silences and stares from each other. He packed his suitcase and left two letters on his bed, one addressed to Giles and the other to Buffy.

The next day…

“Will are you up yet?” she questioned with a shaky as she reached his window. She only wanted to say she was sorry for last night and she always needed to hear him say everything was going to be ok as long as they had each other. He was not there. Buffy climbed into Will’s room and saw the letter addressed to her on his bed. It broke her heart to read it when she was in the safety of her room. He had actually left and wasn’t coming back to her. Everything was definably not ok now thanks to her.

Chapter 1 – Message in the wires.
6 years later...
Buffy’s apartment, Sunnydale.

“Josh, Josh come here now sweetheart”
Buffy said to her 6 year old son as she watched TV that night knowing he was still awake after a day with Anya and on screen saw the man Josh constantly asked about since learning about his dad from an over talkative Anya.

“Buffy he has a right to know who his father is.”
“And he one day he will when he is ready Anya.”
“You mean when you’re ready then…”
“Anya ke…”
She was cut off as Anya continued; neither of them knowing josh was standing behind the door after a bad dream.
“…Buffy he has a right to meet his father, don’t you think Will has a right to know his son also, you can be so selfish sometimes, you know that don’t you. So what if he is all famous now that does not mean that he wouldn’t be interested in either of you.”
“Anya keep your voice down, Josh is only in the next room sleeping.”
She repeated successfully this time. It wasn’t until then that Josh made them both aware of his presence at the door.
“mummy who...”
Buffy heard a small voice say from the doorway.
“come on mister lets get you back to bed, mummy and aunty Anya were just talking” she said before he could say anymore. Josh had of course seen pictures of his parents together, not that his mother knew this at first.

Josh knew what was she was going to show him. It just like every other time she asked him to come into the living room well after his bedtime, she knew he was still awake, of course her sister had taught Josh to use the on-screen TV guide to see if his father was going to be on anything, she could quite easily blame Dawn but she didn’t, she just wanted to help. He was going to see his daddy again.

He didn’t look like the pictures anymore. He now had bleached blonde hair that and wore all black except for the wine coloured shirt under his leather duster. The first time Josh saw him he was confused by this man and simply asked “who is that?” In the photos he Anya had shown him, his father had curly brown hair and blue eyes, Josh knew from these that he resembled his mother when she was younger, with his blonde hair and brown eyes; this made him wonder what part of his father was resembled in him. His mother always said that his heart was the part of Will he had gotten and that he was luckiest little boy in the world to have what so few have ever had or some in some case’s not had.

“Look at this mess Josh” Anya Willow and Dawn laughed as they ‘accidentally’ dropped Buffy’s not so secret box of memories whilst ‘cleaning up’ Buffy’s attic whilst she was at work. They often babysat for Josh and they both loved the time they spent with him. Buffy was often busy at work during the day so Dawn would stay there 4 nights a week to help take care of him, children were her forte and she was doing well in a steady 8-6 job as the local schools councillor after transferring out of Sunnydale high to Professor Rosetta’s school for Girls, before also getting a small set on a Thursday night at The Bronze, the local club, to earn some extra cash.

Buffy cuddled up on the sofa with Josh in her lap, as Spike was interviewed on national TV about his life, the band and the book. It was painful to watch him after all this time but she had to be strong for Josh’s sake and watch this with him, if only it would give her closure she needed. She had tried to keep Josh away from the TV when spike was on at in the beginning but later found out that Anya was telling him the stories and showing him the pictures that went with that Buffy refused to remember now and decided that that moment was the time he at least saw who his father had become.

“Joining me next is the lead singer of ‘Anvil Probability’ and best selling author, Spike Anderson” Cordelier Chase, ‘the first woman of late night entertainment’ continued.

Spike walked out to the stage and then over to the sofa opposite cordelia’s desk as he was instructed to do in rehearsal with a smile on his face and gave her a peck on the cheek.
“So Spike you and the band have a new album out next month, First Class Vicinity and the Amish Ignition, if I remember correctly, so who came up with the name then?”
“Well Cordy, do you mind if I call you that, this album was mostly written by our lead guitarist Oz, who is a great writer and I think the name was inspired by a private joke between himself and his girlfriend. The songs are amazing; I wish I had written them myself.”

Buffy was still laid with Josh, her eyes filling with tears as the interview continued on

“Well then what I and the nation would desperately like to know is who is, in your book; Wicked Stones’ who is and I quote ‘The bravest girl in history, The Slayer’? and why is her name never mentioned?
“Cordy, sorry to disappoint but I can’t say her name for legal reasons, but the short version she moved since I knew her and I have yet not been able to track her down so she can sign the legal forms allowing me to use her name.”

Buffy now had tears on her cheeks as she cuddled Josh so hard he knew even at his age something was wrong. ‘He actually remembered that’, Buffy thought to herself, he had always wanted to be a writer. He would often write something with her as the vampire slayer who would defeat evil and have the most un-normal life she could have imagined. Those were still kept in a box somewhere in the attic of his godfather’s house and she would bet her life that Giles had kept his room as a shrine to Will or Spike as he now goes by. She knew exactly where that name and new look had come from; he modelled himself on ‘Spike’ The Slayer’s worst enemy of all. She didn’t need to read his autobiography to know this.
“Ok Josh time for bed now, school is in the morning so you need to get some sleep, There’s a good boy for mommy”
He hesitated at first but did as he was told.

Dawn was stood in the doorway staring at her sister and josh on the sofa. It killed Dawn that Buffy was still hurting over Will. “See you in the morning Josh” Dawn said as he left the room alerting Buffy to her presence. “Hey Buffy” Dawn said quietly as she walked softly over to her sister. Cuddling up on the sofa, Dawn and Buffy watched the rest of the interview, silently comforting her sister.

It was seven the next morning Josh woke up Buffy and Dawn Saying they would be late, they had fallen asleep on the sofa together again, like every other time his father was on the TV. He had never met him, but Anya and Willow had said he a nice guy although they don’t know why exactly he left before graduation. It was Wednesday morning and she had to get ready to go to work. She wished she didn’t have to go today but she had bills to pay and couldn’t afford another sick day this year. It was a regular occurrence that she missed the morning of school when he was on but she was able to act stronger for the sake of her son, the day passed as it usually did listening to the worries of teenagers, helping them deal with smoking and boyfriends.

When Buffy returned home that night was a message on her machine.
“Hi Buffy its Dawn, Don’t worry Josh is fine, he’s staying with any and Xander tonight and he has everything he needs for school. look if you get this before I see you tonight turn to page 2 of the paper on the table. I wanted to tell you when it was booked but I had been warned not to. Sorry to dump this on you but before I forget I have to work late tonight were packed for a Wednesday night but I got your set saved for tomorrow at 10 sharp, don’t be late, see you soon. Ring if you need me.”
Buffy was thanking Dawn for the cryptic message on her way to the paper. She was sat at the breakfast bar with the paper in hand as turned the front page. There it was her worst nightmare right in front of her eyes.

TBC.

A.N. please please review and let me know what you think.





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