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Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry, but it looks like once again I wrote a fic that doesn't quite cross over into NC17 territory...don't worry, though, plenty of the other ones do :P

based on/inspired by the song 'Home' by Michael Buble
Chapter One

It had been his dream ever since he was seven years old and his mother’s wayward sister-in-law, Georgie had taken him to see The Clash. It was certainly no place for a seven year old, Spike had realized it even then, but his aunt had been put in charge of caring for him for the day and it was what she wanted to do…So, they went.

They went and his dream was born.

His dream to be up there on that stage, to be the one singing, the one everyone was screaming for. To the young boy, it seemed like the best thing in the world; utopia.

The feeling had only grown as he himself grew, as he inched closer and closer to living that dream.

He had even met a girl—in fifth grade, just weeks after moving to the States, no less—that not only supported him but truly believed in him as well.

Every step of the way Buffy Summers was there for him; she kept him going when he felt like giving in. When things weren’t happening fast enough for him, she would pipe up with some fact about how it had taken so and so x number of years to get where they were and ‘would he just look at how well they were doing?’.

He’d often wondered how she managed to know all those things. After all, she did have her own life, her own dreams and goals. She was going to be a preschool teacher.

He found out early on, after a lighthearted comment that he hadn’t even put much thought into, that she was not—as he had expected—going to tour the world with him. She was going to get him there because it was where he wanted to be and because she loved him, but it wasn’t what she wanted for herself.

Spike, of course, tried protesting: he asked her how they would manage with him halfway across the world from her.

They would manage, she said.

They would manage.

Except they didn’t.


***|***


“Why haven’t you ever called me a fool?” William wondered—what seemed to Buffy—out of the blue while they sat eating lunch in her kitchen. It was a Saturday afternoon, just under four months into their freshman year of high school and they were at her house planning for Christmas, less than two weeks away.

“What?” Buffy asked, “Why would I ever do that?”

“I told you when we were ten that I was ‘going to be a rock star when I grow up’. That’s not exactly on everyone’s top ten list of most reasonable goals, pet.”

“Well that’s because it’s not reasonable for everyone to have that as a goal—it is for you,” she stated simply.

“Not quite sure how to take that.”

“It’s a compliment you dummy. Most people don’t have that much passion about something regardless of whether it would pay off or not, but you….and William,” Buffy looked him right in the eye, “it is going to pay off for you.”

“Go to Winter Formal with me,” he blurted out suddenly while still recovering from her statement and the intensity with which it was spoken.

“That’s Friday!” Buffy said before she could think.

“Come on, you know how bad I am ‘bout being able to ask girls out.”

“Is that what you’re—You mean like how we went to that eighth grade graduation thing together, right?”

“Actually I was thinking of something a little…different. But if it’s a rotten idea, just tell me.”

“So you’re like…asking me on a date?”

“I don’t know what I—“

“Are you or aren’t you? And no being scared of me. I’ve known you for almost five years; I know when you’re lying, too.”

“Yeah,” he finally agreed, “I was.”

“Okay!” she said chirpily before leaning across the table to kiss him on the cheek.

They didn’t talk about their ‘date’ anymore that afternoon but any thoughts that it wasn’t the only thing on both of their minds, would have been quickly dispelled with just a look at either of them: Buffy was blushing slightly and kept sneaking little glances at William while he had a goofy grin on his face and wasn’t able to keep his eyes off her.



***|***


Spike had no found out until the week before Spring Break that Buffy had already been asked—several times—to that Winter dance. Apparently, Angel had been trying to get her to go with him ever since it had been announced in September.

She had even told him, Angel, that she would ‘think about it’. But, after William had asked her…as soon as he had left her house that day, she had called Angel and told him that she would, without a doubt, not be going with him. She was done thinking about it.

That first date of theirs had gone better than he could have imagined. He had heard the horror stories of friends who tried dating and not only didn’t end up in a romantic relationship, but also lost their friendship, of course, but nothing like that happened with him and Buffy. In his heart he had known it wouldn’t. It just wasn’t possible to ruin what they had between them. It was one of those forever things.

Or at least one of those forever things if you counted high school and the first year and a half of college as forever—which, he figured, some people did.

They were perfect together really, everyone at school envied them—voted them Prom King and Queen two years in a row, too, but most of all, William himself envied them. They had stayed best friends the entire time, never once losing an ounce of their friendship because of the new facet of their relationship.



He had been asked by several people, in interviews and otherwise, how it was he was able to write such truthful and heartfelt love songs at such a young age—and being single as well. When he gave his answer, the same one every time, he knew they all thought he was giving them an answer that would sound romantic but which held no truth; they didn’t know there was little he was every more truthful about.

He was able to write his songs and sing them with such emotion because he had felt that kind of love. The kind of love that all at once inspired masterful works of art and could cause great wars; the kind that drove you mad and allowed you to keep your hold on sanity at the same time. The kind of love that you knew you would never feel for anyone else, but that you would never, ever forget a second of either.

The kind of love that everyone dreamed about.

He’d found it.

He’d found it and then he had lost it.


TBC....





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