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Buffy looked at the hole, all which was left of Sunnydale. Somewhere in the crater were the ashes of the man she loved. It hit her then, like a physical blow, that they had spent their last moments together, their last night together, their last anything together. Her heart twisted in agony as she thought of life without Spike. Her body was physically weak from the fight and the pain in her heart was overwhelming as she allowed herself to crumble to the ground.

He had been part of her life for so long, in every way, and now he was gone. Buffy hadn’t been totally sure if she loved him in the Hellmouth, but the words fell from her lips as she told him anyway. But now she knew she had spoken the truth and she loved him with everything in her. Now she would never get to experience any kind of life with him and it hurt deep inside her heart.

Dawn and Willow knelt next to her. “Buffy, are you okay?” the witch asked, concern etching her voice. Willow hadn’t seen Buffy so traumatized since the night Glory snatched her sister. She hoped their fallen slayer wasn’t going to end up comatose again.

Buffy shook her head. “He’s gone, Will,” she said hoarsely, with a trembling voice. “He’s gone forever.”

“Spike?” Dawn asked in confusion as fear settled in the pit of her stomach. “What do you mean he’s gone?”

Buffy looked at her sister with her heartache plain on her face. “He closed the Hellmouth,” she whispered, tears making their way down her cheeks. “He’s…he’s just gone.”

Dawn shook her head in denial. “Spike doesn’t leave, Buffy,” she sobbed, tears rising in her eyes. “He always comes back to us.” Spike couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye to her. She never got to work things out with him and her own sadness forming in the pit of her stomach..

“He’s not. Not this time,” the distraught slayer whispered, wiping her tears.” Let’s get out of here.” She had to get away from this place, this former town that held too much pain, too many memories. Maybe distance would help ease the ache she felt in her heart, in her soul.

Willow motioned for Xander to come over to help Buffy up. Dawn helped Willow up, the spell she performed still had her a bit wobbly.

“Come on, Buffy,” Xander said, gently holding his hand out to her. Having lost Anya, he was pretty sure his pain matched her own. He knew how Spike felt about Buffy. The whole world could see how Spike felt about Buffy. But Buffy had never been one to show her feelings and Xander was a bit surprised that Buffy now had no problem letting everyone know how she felt.

Buffy looked up at her friend and gratefully accepted his hand. Her knees buckled from exhaustion when she tried to get to her feet but Xander caught and steadied her. He helped her to the bus and everyone followed suit, hanging back to give Buffy her space.

Once they were all on the bus, Faith used a cell phone they managed to save to call Angel.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Angel, it’s Faith,” she greeted.

“How’s Buffy?” Angel asked, without missing a beat. He was thinking the worst.

“It’s hard to say how she is. But have some faith in her Angel. We just went through the biggest battle of our lives. We’re probably headed your way,” the darker slayer said, looking at Giles for confirmation, he nodded tiredly. “You’ll get the details in a couple of hours.”

“I’ll be here,” Angel replied, and broke the connection.

“Buffy?” Xander asked, but she just nodded. “We’re going to Angel’s.” He expected her to say something but she just nodded. “Buffy, I just want you to know that I am sorry about Spike.” She just nodded again and touched his hand, letting him know she appreciated his words, she had a feeling Anya hadn’t made it but she had no idea how to comfort Xander when her own grief was gnawing at her.

Giles took his place behind the wheel and looked up into the mirror and for a moment just stared at the reflection of the exhausted and injured that remained. The newly made slayers, thanks to Willows spell, helped whom they could. Faith sat tending to Robin, the relief that he had survived evident in her face. Willow sat leaning into Kennedy and Giles silently thanks The Powers that Be that Willow did not have to endure the lose of another lover. He wasn't sure what would become of the young witch if face with that pain again. Dawn sat with silent tears staining her face as she looked at her sister; Buffy, his charge, the girl that he cared for as if his own child sat with Xander. She looked broken, defeated, as she sat staring out the window looking too beaten to even cry. Xander, pushing back his own pain at the lose of Anya, stroked Buffy's hand offering what comfort he could. Finally Giles pulled his attention away from the reflected pain and closed his eyes slowly, holding back tears, he was their Watcher, their parental figure and most times their leader and strength, with that thought he straightened and started the bus.

By the time they reached L.A. it was dusk and Angel was waiting for them as they disembarked at the Hyperion. He moved to take Buffy from her friend’s arms.

“I’ve got her,” Xander said tiredly, his habitual dislike for the brunette vampire showing. “Just show me where she can rest.”

Angel looked at his former love, at her eyes, which were swollen from exhaustion…and crying, he assumed. It hurt to see the lack of life in her eyes, see how broken she was. Sighing, Angel gestured towards the hotel.

“Follow me,” he said, leading them inside. “Everyone, just make yourselves comfortable and we’ll find rooms for you shortly.” He led Xander upstairs to one of the bedrooms where he gently laid Buffy down. Xander kissed her forehead softly before looking at Angel, ready to tell him to back off, but the vampire was heading toward the door.

“I want to talk to her for a minute,” Angel said, making it plain there was no room for discussion. He knew something was wrong but he wanted the story from Buffy.

Xander narrowed his eyes, showing his displeasure, but grudgingly left. Now wasn’t the time to fight with Angel, not with Buffy in such a sorrowful state.

Angel sat next to the slayer and lightly touched her hand. “You need anything?” he asked.

Buffy met his eyes and shook her head. “I want to sleep right now,” she replied softly. “I’m sure someone will tell you what happened.”

He nodded and shrugged off his leather jacket. He draped it over her and gently pushed her hair away from her forehead. “If you need me, I’ll be here,” he replied, in his low and hypnotic voice.

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes, letting sleep overtake her. Angel kissed her forehead and silently left.

Downstairs, Angel greeted Faith with a hug and listened as Willow brought him up to date. “We closed the Hellmouth. Well, Spike closed it, and he died in the process,” she said. “That’s what we were able to figure out from Buffy. Anything else that happened, we don’t know. She wasn’t able to give us too many details. She’s hurting a lot—not really in a talking mood.”

Faith stepped in, speaking softly. “Angel, she was with him until the very last second,” she said, softly. “I wanted to wait for her but couldn’t. I didn’t think she was going to make it out.”

“She almost didn’t make it,” Dawn interrupted, making everyone look at her after she had been silent for so long. Tears were in her eyes as she looked at Buffy’s ex-love. “She’s lost almost everything. She loved him and now he’s gone. It’s not like you. You can come to her if she needs you. Spike’s never coming back.”

He sighed. He should be happy that the bleached vampire was gone, but he really wasn’t. He didn’t like Spike, and it wasn’t hard to figure that out. But he hadn’t wished him dead. Or any more dead than he usually was. Buffy had made her choice, had chosen her champion, but it had brought her immense pain. He rubbed his face and looked at Dawn.

“I know you didn’t like Spike,” she said, crossing her arms, trying to force her tears away and be strong for her sister. “But he’s always been there for me…and for Buffy. She loves him, Angel. And he…he saved us. Again. Maybe you can try to see Spike the way we do.”

“I’ll try, Dawn. Gunn will be down in a moment to show you guys your rooms,” he said, before returning upstairs to watch over Buffy.

Within minutes Gunn and Fred had joined them and busied themselves tending to the needs of the Sunnydale refugees. Food was offered, rooms assigned and the worst of the injured taken to the nearest hospital for treatment. For the walking wounded, there were first aid kits in every room. Using what little energy she had left, Willow magicked up a picture of Buffy and Spike together and slipped into her room to leave it on the bedside table where she’d find it when she woke. Nodding goodnight to the watchful vampire seated near Buffy, Willow thankfully left to seek her own much needed rest.





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