Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Summary: The first post in my “ Music Series” . A series of little ficlets of songs, with a Spuffy twist.
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“Son of a bitch.” Buffy’s eyes widened in intense anger, her knuckles turning white as they grinded the steering wheel of her S U V. She had been driving for over an hour, had searched five bars and stared down over thirty license plates. Tonight thirty-two was her lucky number. She swerved into the parking lot, dirt and gravel spinning up a cloud beneath her tires; she slammed on the brakes and threw the vehicle into park. Within seconds she was inside the bar, the loud eighties metal assaulted her ears and she grimaced. So it was true, the music was a sure sign he was here tonight, and there was no question by the little red mustang outside that the little bitch was here to.
Buffy had been hearing rumors for weeks, but had blissfully chosen to ignore the whispers. Whispers about her ex whoring around town with the queen of the undead. She had laughed them all off, until today. Today when Xander had called to inform her that not only was Spike no longer sulking around town over her, in fact Xander had seen him with his own two eyes and not only was he back to his pre-Buffy, bad ass self. He was making nice with Druscilla, the town skank. According to Xander, they had been bordering on illegal conduct in the park that very afternoon.
That just wouldn’t do. At first Buffy had been calm about the whole situation, after all she had been the one to end things. Not to mention the fact that they had been over officially, no hanky panky, no smoochies, nada, nothing, for over a month now. But then she had gone home, to a empty house and suddenly she snapped. Who did this little bitch think she was anyway, stealing her man? It took Buffy twenty minutes to decide that Spike was suddenly very much off the market, and what better way to announce this to him and the town than to stomp it into his new whore’s face? Really?
So here she was, standing in the most horrific bar she had ever seen. Hmm, suits little miss bloodsucker. Buffy made her way through the place, very much aware of the eyes following her. She had paid extra attention to her outfit tonight. The tight red leather pants and black halter screamed bad ass and if they didn’t serve to get the message across then the six inch black leather stiletto boots should do the trick.
Buffy eyed the crowd slowly, spotting her soon to be not ex leaning over the pool table in the back, lining up a shot and she smiled. Her smile quickly vanished when she saw the little bitch appear and attach herself to Spike’s leather clad back, her long blood red nails running a trail along his arm. Buffy’s heart fluttered when she saw him brush her off and shoot her a glare as he made his shot. Content to lay low for now Buffy made her way to the bar and quickly ordered herself a beer downing it in one long swig.
She spied the duo again, seemingly having a tiff in the corner by the bathrooms, and smirked. ‘Hmm, trouble in paradise?’ Buffy watched as Spike glared at Dru and stalked off down the short hall to the men’s room and her stomach revolted as she watched Dru undress him with her eyes. It was disgusting.
She turned to the bartender with a smile, “Two shot of whiskey with coke, no ice.” The drink was gone less than two seconds after it hit the counter. Sizing up the room, Buffy made her way to the pool tables in the back. She knew she still had the element of surprise, Dru would never expect to see her there. She took a detour to avoid the evil skank and walked along the back wall, taking her time in picking out a pool cue. Finally finding the one she wanted she snatched it off the wall and started to make her way over to Dru.
The woman didn’t even see it coming, her back was to Buffy and that was just how the blonde girl wanted. She tilted her head to the side, and just as she saw Spike coming down the hall she tapped Dru on the shoulder and smiled sweetly as the woman turned around.
“Hi, there, you remember me, Buffy. Yea, thing is I do believe you have something that belongs to me.” She said this calmly, trying to lure the woman into a false sense of security and it was obviously working. While Dru looked a little surprised she hid it quickly with a sneer.
“Oh, dearie, I do believe you are mistake. He’s my Spike now, pet. You gave him up.”
“Oh, that was so not the right thing to say, you’ve forgotten who you’re dealing with.” Buffy said with a sigh.
Druscilla tried to look sly “And just who may I ask is that, luv?”
Buffy smiled was almost self-deprecating as she answered. “The crazy ex-girlfriend.”
Three hits was all it took.
Buffy slamming the pool stick into Dru’s stomach. Buffy slamming her fist into Dru’s face and then Dru hitting the floor.
Buffy looked down at the pitiful pile of pale slut on the floor and sighed sadly. It really was a shame. Buffy took pity on the girl and threw the cue down at her feet and leaned over. She looked down over the girl, her hair hanging down and framing her face , strangely making her look like an angel.
“Dru, honey, this all could have been avoided if you remembered one simple rule. Just one, you can fuck with brother, you can fuck with my lab partner, but nobody, I mean nobody fucks with MY boyfriend.” With that Buffy dusted off her hands and started to make her way out of the bar, ignoring the whistles and hoots that followed after her. She got to the exit and turned around with a look of mock exasperation, “God, Spike, honey, it’s getting late, aren’t you coming?”
Song was from Miranda Lambert titled ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’
Here are the lyrics
Artist: Miranda Lambert
Album: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Title: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Well It took me 5 bars saw 30 license plates
I saw her mustang
And my eyes filled up with rage
I brought my pistol but I ain't some kinda fool
So I walked right in barehanded
She was on his arm while he was playing pool
Just like I used to do
She kissed him while I got a beer
She didn't think I'd show up here
I'm a crazy ex girlfriend
I watched her for awhile but I didn't like her walk
She came across kinda cheap to me
But hey hows that my fault
She looked at my man like he didn't have on a stitch
Somebody tell that girl
To step up to the plate
I wanna Pitch
Little Bitch
Well those pretty girls can play their game
But their damn well gonna know my name
I'm a crazy ex-girlfriend
Well I started throwing things and
I scared folks half to death
I got up in his face and smelled whiskey on his breath
I Didn't give it a second thought to being thrown in jail
Well baby to a hammer everything looks like a nail
And I was mad as hell
Well those pretty girls they're all the same
But they're damn well gonna know my name
I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend
I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend
I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend
I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I am the worlds worst for getting song stuck in my head, so here is an outlet...Spuffy put to music.