Summary:
spark and burn nom sotha award nom nom button ML coh nom button
You know what it means... whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. ‘Murphy’s Law’ comes into play from the moment our two favorite blonds meet despite any initial attraction to one another. What’s the result when a womanizing genius and a prudish workaholic are forced together in every way with no choice but to deal with each other 24/7? Tons of UST! Will it ever get resolved, or will they kill each other first? .... “Tell me somethin’, pet. Wha’s the real reason for your knickers bein’ in a twist aside from the possibility you put your plug in sideways?” …. “The fact you’re still breathing is number one on a very long list of reasons and oh-my-God... crude much?” Romance, comedy and mild angst.
Awards won, readers&judges choice: best author at Spark and Burn. Indigo Crypt – best author-runner up and Chosen Awards judges choice. Cradle of humanity: Winner - best wip, runner up – happy workers award. Nominated at Spark and burn for best wip/best fantasy - at Serenity on the Hellmouth Awards round 5 for best Spike fic and best Buffy fic - at Spuffy Awards round 15 for Best Buffy Characterization, best fanatasy angst and outstanding fanatasy fic and at Cradle of Humanity Awards for best story and best romance .
Rated: NC-17
Categories: NC-17 Fics Characters: None
Genres: Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Buffy/Other, Spike/Other
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 28 Completed: No
Word count: 145086 Read: 102210
Published: 01/29/2008 Updated: 09/01/2008

1. First Impressions are Everything by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 61] Liked (3270 words)
Sorry that I took a longer break than expected from TSR, but I made good use of the time by coming up with a better writing system for myself (which has allowed me to write like crazy over the last 3 months) so that I can post on a regular basis. My muse kicked and screamed for me to focus solely on a comedy/romance with mild angst. There will be times when you’ll hate Spike and/or Buffy and that’s okay, I intend for readers to take sides periodically and get riled up…. Hey, evil here, lol. I’m not going to pretend like I know exactly how the world of Sales works, I can only tell you that I once worked as an executive assistant to a Senior VP of Marketing & Sales for the same type of company this story mimics so that I could bring a sense of realism to it. I’ll also be making references to the TV series ‘Blood Ties’ several times throughout the story and yes, I’ve purposefully messed with the timeline of when it actually airs to serve a purpose within this fic. So for anyone who isn’t familiar with it, it’s about a vampire (good guy type hero, Henry Fitzroy… totally drool-worthy) who teams up with a female private investigator to solve paranormal cases.

There are plenty of laughs to be had in every chapter and I hope you all stick with me for the amusing and twisted ride my muse has created. Also, I haven’t forgotten about WDMC, I’m actually working on getting ahead with it so that when I do start posting again, you’ll get regular updates rather than sporadic. So for now, sit back, relax and I hope you enjoy Murphy’s Law. Thank you my darlings, Dusty273 and Sotia, for all your help, suggestions and beta sessions that without, this fic wouldn’t have gotten off the ground. I love you guys.

2. Beneath Me by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 35] Liked (2663 words)
I want to say thank you very, very much to the readers from the bottom of my heart. It really knocked me over to see so many people welcome me back so warmly, many familiar people whom I’ve missed and even some new ones which thrills me. So here’s chapter 2 of ML. I’m posting now because it helps push the story a bit further along so we can get to the good stuff, *winks*. Since it’s the shortest chapter of out of all the others I’ve prepared, I’ll update again soon, I promise, and I do hope you all enjoy it. Thanks to mi hermana Dusty273 and my darling Sotia for all their help, suggestions and edits, many, many thanks - smooches.

3. Who's the Boss by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 55] Liked (3431 words)
WARNING: Let it be known that Spike is a womanizing ass in this story, there will be sexual harassment in the workplace issues that will be addressed BUT from a different standpoint and not to be taken seriously as I do not condone real cases of it. As for the Spike/other & Buffy/other, it’s in here but nothing even remotely graphic whatsoever…. cuz ewww! If any of these RL issues offend you, I strongly urge you NOT to read. Please enjoy the update and my thanks go out to Dusty273 and Sotia for all their help – I love you guys, you’re the absolute best - kisses. And a personal thank you goes out to galatea for her emails of encouragement – hugs you tight sweety.

4. Could Things Get Any Worse? by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 34] Liked (6073 words)
Thank you mi hermana Dusty273 and my dear Sotia for all your help, suggestions and beta’ing – I love you guys with all my heart. Special thanks goes to the talented Edgehead73 for the lovely banner, you rock, girl!



W-A-R-N-I-N-G: Let it be known that Spike is a bit of an ass in this story in the beginning, the sexual harassment in the workplace issues were addressed last chapter BUT from a different standpoint and not to be taken seriously as I DO NOT condone real cases of it. This is how I created his personality for the purpose of the fic and nothing more as Buffy holds her own, enough said. As for the Spike/other & Buffy/other, it’s in here but nothing even remotely graphic… cuz ewww! If any of these issues offend you, I strongly urge you NOT to read. If you do and you complain, I’ll be referring you back to the warnings here as the review system is not a place for personal gripes.

5. Revenge is Sweet, When it Doesn’t Backfire by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 31] Liked (4801 words)
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it’s food for my muse. I do hope you enjoy the chapter. Thank you Dusty273 and Sotia for all your help – you two are amazing, I luv u both so dearly. And of course thanks to Edgehead73 for the awesome banner – smoochies to your talent and brilliance. If anyone has some time, I recommend checking out a new fic called The Road to Redemption by Sandara – it’s very original and the writing is superb.

6. Home Sweet Home by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 38] Liked (4602 words)
Thank you two my dearest friends Dusty273 and Sotia – my sisters in arms when it comes to helping me through everything – love you guys. Special thanks to Edgehead73 for the banner and to Regina for making me another banner you’ll see at the bottom – I didn’t want to crowd the top of the page. Hope you all enjoy the chapter.

7. The English Patient by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 35] Liked (6157 words)
I combined a couple of chapters to give everyone the full weekend of events in the Summers-Giles household - hope you enjoy. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, it really means a lot that you took the time to let me know your thoughts, hugs you all tight. Muchas gracias a mis dos hermanas, the wonderful Dusty273 a true Spanish rose, and Sotia a true Greek goddess, who without their help, this fic just wouldn’t be the same. I love you both dearly. And a shout out to Darkrivertempest and OKDeanna – you guys seriously rock!!!

8. When it Rains, it Pours by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 41] Liked (5029 words)
Thanks to my lovely friends Dusty 273 and Sotia for all their help – much love my darlings. I’ll be restating my poll - of sorts - in the ending author’s note in case anyone skips reading this. I wanted to know what you, the readers actually prefer as the day you’d most like to see ML updated on. Thanks and hope you like the chapter.

9. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 32] Liked (4999 words)
Thanks to Sotia and Dusty273 for all their help – luv you my sisters. Thank you to everyone who let me know what day they preferred me to post on. Since most folks didn’t seem to care – there was only a couple that said Sun or Mon, I’m posting today and perhaps in a couple weeks go back to Mondays. I need to take the time to pimp out one of my beloved friend's fics - Darkrivertempest - her fics Omniscient and Hunter's Bane are simply awesome - just be sure to read the warnings. Hope everyone enjoys the chapter and have a great week.

10. The Human Touch by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 30] Liked (7694 words)
Since my hubby will be arriving home tomorrow for his visit, I won’t be able to post next weekend sooooooooo, what I did was to combine the next two chapters together for everyone - the entire Florida trip. I’ll answer reviews as I can, I promise. Many thanks goes out to mi hermana Dusty273 and my Greek sister Sotia – luv you guys – smoochies.

11. Confused Much? by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 40] Liked (4549 words)
I’m sorry it took me sooooo long to answer reviews, but of course RL got in the way in a major way, even after the hubby left, *sniffs*. As for the chapter - I realize that in the real world of Sales, commission checks do not get cut right away – so please just forgive the fact that I wrote that they do in here – it’s for a purpose. Second, yes the cider vinegar, or even white vinegar, trick on sunburns really does work – my mom used to use it on me when I was little. Third - PLEASE REMEMBER ALL THE WARNINGS from the summary AND from the earlier chapters author’s notes. I personally don’t like taking the easy road towards spuffy – I prefer slow, gradual and realistic baby steps – that’s all I have to say. Thank you to everyone who wished me a great time with the hubby – it was wonderful, it really, really was. News on my other story What Dreams May Come… I’ve been recently receiving reviews on it and I have no intentions on abandoning it. I have been working on it diligently – (ask my lovely twisted sister Darkrivertempest who has been so gracious enough to help me out on the paranormal aspects of it, she’s a frickin genius) - currently wrapping up ch 4, but I don’t want to start posting it again until I get towards the last chapter, that way there’ll be no waiting for updates and you’ll get them regularly. There’s nothing worse than to have to wait for updates, I know. And of course, saving the best for last - thanks to Dusty273 and Sotia for all their help – I love you gals.

12. Harmony and Discord by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 38] Liked (4357 words)
I was happy with the reviews that I got, thank you all. A lot of people were divided in their feelings and that’s a good thing. Because on one hand, Spike didn’t do anything wrong and Buffy reacted poorly, but on the other, he held no regard for what she came home to find in a place they have to share. And, well, Buffy’s attraction to him is what made her act childish. In this chapter we see a few lessons learned… but the hard way, giggles. Thanks to Dusty273 and Sotia for all their help – luv you gals. Hugs.

13. Angel Waiting in the Wings by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 32] Liked (4206 words)
None other than I hope everyone enjoys the update and of course to thank my lovely friends Dusty273, Sotia and Darkrivertemptest - luv ya lots.

14. Damaged Goods by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 34] Liked (3703 words)
And as promised, here is chapter 14… enjoy.


Thanks to my lovelies - Dusty273, Sotia, and Darkrivertempest for being there for me. Hugs and kisses.

15. Dumbstruck by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 33] Liked (6365 words)
I know there’s a lot of people who are wondering/asking when the spuffy-luvin is going to commence and to that I say, please have some patience. It obviously wouldn’t be very realistic or desirable for them to get together at this particular point in the fic, BUT……… what I can say is that next chapter is where things will be picking up speed, *winks*. As for Angelus, he’s just so much fun to write as pure evil, but evil never wins, now does it? It’s my hope that you’ll all praise Spike’s revelations in this update… it’s time for him to start pulling his head out of his arse, *giggles*. Thanks to Sotia for helping me on the Cordy part – luv u boo, couldn’t have done it without ya, and to Dusty to keep me on track with the flow – luv you carino. Hope everyone enjoy the read.

16. Plans within Plans by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 34] Liked (5993 words)
In this update, Spike’s plan is revealed and I think (hope) you’re all going to like it. There are two songs used in this chapter, ‘Paralyzed’ by Finger 11 and ‘What Do I Have to Do’ by Stabbing Westward. I’m only using fragments of the lyrics, not all of them – however - I did include a link to a youtube spuffy video for the second song so that if you choose, you can ‘right’ click on it to open up in another tab or window so you can listen to it while you read. It’s a super sexy song AND a super sexy dance they share that’s full of emotion, so I thought it fitting. All copyrights belong to the original artists and their labels, I own nothing and am merely using them for entertainment purposes. Ok, now that I’ve covered my arse on that subject, I do hope you all enjoy the chapter. And an extra special thanks to Dusty273 and Sotia for putting up with my moods lately concerning some RL issues I’m dealing with at the moment. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without either of you to keep me focused. Love you.

17. Turning Point by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 35] Liked (4744 words)
Happy Mother’s Day to all you mommies out there – hugs. Hope everyone enjoys the update. Many thanks to Dusty273 for putting up with my fickle muse today – love you boo – and of course my other set of twisted sisters, Sotia, Darkrivertempest and OKDeanna - smooches.

18. Star-light, Star-bright… by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 30] Liked (3451 words)
Here it is as promised, Thursday’s update. This chapter is more of a continuation of their weekend spent together and I do hope you like how I wrap it up. Many thanks to Dusty273, Sotia and Darkrivertempest for all their help – smooches. And a very Happy Birthday to MidnightGirl – hope your day is very special boo. I also want to thank those who voted for me over at Spark and Burn awards – I about fell out of my chair when I saw all the lovelies I’d won, I mean 11 of them??? Damn, wow, holy s**t and every other word in between I can’t think of right now – many-many hugs and kisses.

19. Domestic Bliss by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 46] Liked (6934 words)
Here’s an extra-long chappy that I hope you’ll enjoy and please, be sure to read the ending author’s note – I ask this for a very specific reason, thanks. Thanks to Dusty273, Sotia and Darkrivertempest for all your help – luv you all my sisters and of course OKDeanna just because you rock girl!

20. Breaking Up and Making Up by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 44] Liked (5118 words)
I really do hate to say this, but I simply won’t be able to post for a while and am unsure for exactly how long. My mother-in-law, who has been battling cancer for years, has been given two weeks to live. I’m currently on my way to NJ to meet up with my husband so we can be together as a family until she passes. After that, I have to go to NY as my father (80 y/o and in poor health for the last 10 years) is going to be having major surgery during June and there is a chance he may not make it through the procedure. God willing he does, I need to stay and take care of him while he recovers b/c he lives alone. I do apologize for the TMI (too much information), but it’s so that everyone understands my mind isn’t in a good place right now. I’m sure we all agree on one thing and that’s that family comes first. Once things have taken their natural course and I’m back at my own home, I’ll begin posting again. I just ask for your patience during this time and I’ll try to answer reviews for this chapter as I can, but it may not be for awhile either. Thanks to Dusty273 for being there for me in every way possible and to my dear friends Sotia, OKDeanna and Darkrivertempest – love you guys and will email as I can.

21. Almost by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 28] Liked (3787 words)
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave me their thoughts and prayers since I last posted, it really meant a lot to me that all of you were so understanding and patient, thank you – more than you’ll ever know. Though my mother-in-law did pass away (peacefully, thank heavens), I’ve been given a reprieve of sorts in that my father’s doctors are holding off on his surgery until either July or August. I hate not knowing the exact date but of course there isn’t much I can do. It was nice though to go and visit him for a while, it did my heart a lot of good.


My muse isn’t quite up to par as far as wanting to write much these days, but I’m trying my best to get him back in the mood. I did get caught up on all the lovely wips out there I’d been following and left reviews and of course FINALLY got around to answering reviews for ML – sorry for such a delay. So I’m back now for the time being and I do hope you enjoy this chapter. Special thanks to my sisters Dusty 273, Sotia, OKDeanna, Darkrivertempest and Zoey for all your support and help – I love you gals. There are many others I’d like to thank personally, but the list would be too long, so just know that you’re in my heart.

22. Needing You by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 33] Liked (3490 words)
Thank you to Dusty273, Darkrivertempest and Sotia for all your help on this chapter - my muse still seems to be a bit wonky lately, only cooperating now and then. So again, thanks to my sisters in arms for helping me with it. There is a warning for this chapter, but it would also be a spoiler to put it here. So if you don’t like surprises of the bad kind – and no, it isn’t anything bad that happens directly to Buffy or Spike - scroll down to the bottom to read the ending author’s note first. Hopefully you’ll all enjoy the chapter and see the opportunity it provides our couple to come closer together.

23. When Love and Death Embrace by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 36] Liked (4809 words)
First, I’m not trying to steal Addie’s title from her fic called ‘Love and Death Embrace’ for this chapter – it just happened to really fit with the theme for this update. And wow, thanks to whoever nom’d me at Spuffy Awards for round 15 – smooches - and everyone who voted for me at Cradle of Humanity. ML won a couple of awards as well as ‘In the ARMY Now’ – you guys are awesome. Thanks to Dusty273, Darkrivertemepest and Sotia for their help on this chapter. It’s an emotional one to be sure and I hope you all enjoy it. There are two quotes that aren’t mine which I’ll give credit to in the ending author’s note.

24. Conversations by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 35] Liked (6353 words)
First off, I’m truly, very-very sorry for not answering my reviews right away like I normally do. My muse has suddenly been more than eager to cooperate and has capitalized ALL my free time lately. I suppose that’s a good thing in some ways, but I feel bad for not keeping up with my replies and promise I’ll get right to it. I appreciate each and EVERY single one I get because it means a lot to me that you take the time out to let me know your thoughts… not to mention it really does feed my muse tremendously – making him all giddy to produce more. Special thanks to the stupendous, creative, talented, uber-super Edgehead73 for allowing me to use one of her many phenomenally gorgeous pics in this chapter – luv ya girl. And of course to my lovely sisters Sotia, Darkrivertempest and Dusty273 for all their help, input and beta’ing… last but definitely not least, a super HUGE thanks to OKDeanna for helping me make the decision to lengthen this chapter from it’s original form – you’re the best, boo – snuggles. And happy birthday to Kristi – I just have to tease you again about your prezzie… you’re soooooooo gonna luv it, *winks*.

25. Explicit Intentions by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 31] Liked (5511 words)
Special thanks to Sotia for creating the piccie for me in this chapter – boo, you’re A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, luv you. And of course to the rest of my crew, Mari for being the best beta and friend a gal could ask for, and of course Carrie and Deanna for all their input, help and direction for which I’d be lost without. Love you all.


And now… on to the ball.

26. Madness, Mayhem and Moonlight by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 40] Liked (8597 words)
Hang onto your seats, this chapter is going to be one hell of a long and bumpy rollercoaster ride folks. So grab your favorite beverage, kick back and enjoy. Please be sure and read the ending a/n as well, I ask for a reason. All songs used in this chapter are owned by the respective writers and record labels, no infringement rights are intended, only used here for entertainment… blah, blah, technical blah to cover my arse, lol. Thanks to Mari for being such a sweety and awesome beta, to Carrie for helping me with all the medical facts, to Deanna for helping me with characterization and last but certainly not least, to my darling Sotia who’s been very busy lately – I hope you enjoy it boo.

27. There’s a First Time for Everything: Part 1 by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 50] Liked (6473 words)
I wasn’t going to announce the exact nature of what’s happened to me recently, but after receiving a few emails and reviews containing certain… questions, well, I feel the need to explain my absence. Less than 3 weeks ago (out of the blue) my husband called me to tell me he wants a divorce. I thought everything between us was fine, but, apparently his living in a bubble by himself away from us for 3 years now has changed him into someone I don’t know anymore. Right now, my main priority isn’t writing, it’s taking measures to protect myself and my children legally, and believe me, this process is no fun. At this point, I have run out of chapters to post on a regular basis and I usually pride myself on being able to deliver things on a schedule. So just please bear with me. I will update as I can.



Thanks to whoever nommed ML at Cradle of humanity awards – smooches. Thanks to OKDeanna and Pixiecorn for their wonderful manips for ML, I love them and felt it time to bring them out for a preview – you both are so awesome, thanks. Thanks to Darkrivertempest for her suggestions as to the book titles to use in this chapter – you’re brilliant babe. Thanks to mi hermana Dusty273 for her superb job in editing – luv u. A big thanks to Sotia, Mari, Carrie and Deanna (and those others who have contacted me b/c of my LJ post) for all their support during the hardest time of my life I think I’ve ever faced. Your support means everything to me and I owe you all a huge one when it’s all over. To my friend bloodfaerie, the next chapter will be dedicated to you darling, for obvious reasons, *winks*.

28. There’s a First Time for Everything: Part 2 by Im_bloody_English [Reviews - 47] Liked (7927 words)
I’ll say it here, but also restate it in my ending a/n, I’ve never written virgin Buffy before, my muse is still off his game and did I mention I’ve never written virgin Buffy before? Anyhow, if this chapter doesn’t seem up to standard, those are the reasons, and I vow never to write virgin Buffy again – that was much tougher than I thought. Hats off to every author who has ever done it – think I’ll stick with experienced Buffy after this fic, giggles. A million thanks to everyone who gave me supporting words concerning my RL crisis, I can’t tell you how much it means. Just when I’m feeling at my loneliest, I realize how many others there are out there who understand and it let’s me know I will make it through – thanks for that. Huge thanks to Mari and Carrie for helping me out me while my muse dragged his feet on this chapter – without your cheering me on, cheering me up, (putting up with me), and helpful suggestions, I wouldn’t be posting at all – luv you gals with all my heart. Ok, bloodfaerie, this one is for you babes, *smooches*.