Author's Chapter Notes:
It's all mine, mine you hear! Mawhaa!!! Sorry about that my shrink says I I need to stop telling lies. Something about it being wrong *sigh* Nothing belongs to me, it is all Joss, the God that he is all the folks at ME.

A small mention of Buffy and a slight indiscretion with a namless person. It's for the good of the story, so please go with it.
NINE

Buffy stood outside of the apartment starring at the door for what seemed like hours. She wasn’t sure anymore. Maybe it was minutes?

All she knew was that she had been standing there staring at this particular door so long that she felt like she knew it intimately. She had found a new appreciation for the door as she admired the way the wood grain swirled and danced. The honey coloured knot on the right side, just above her knee, the slight crack in the wood just above the brass knocker from where someone had knocked a little too hard. The matching brass hinges. As far as doors went it was a beautiful door.

She tried to knock, really she did, but her trembling hands never reached the door. They always managed to fall short, reaching for something else, a tissue, a hair tie, her phone.

He knew she was out there. He heard her sounds of indecision from inside. She wasn’t being overly quiet.

He tried to be nonchalant. Be lackadaisical that she was out there. He tried to sit in front of his telly with a mug of O neg and relax while he waited her out. Really he did.
However he had started pacing not even five minutes after she had stopped in front of his door. Thoughts were running a million miles around his head.
Why?
Why was SHE standing outside HIS door after so long?
Why now?

Buffy stared at the number adorning this door. A large brass figure 9 hung proudly in the top centre of the door. The number nine ran circles around Buffy’s mind; staring at the brass number she let a small humourless laugh escape her dried lips. It was an insignificant number as far as numbers were concerned.

However this number; it dominated her life.

Nine years since he left her. Nine months ago she made one of the worst mistakes of her life. Nine days until that mistake was given a name, a face, life. Nine hours since she landed in LA. She looked at the watch on her wrist, Ninety minutes she had been standing there.

He could feel her through the wooden barrier that prevented him from laying eyes on her. His skin prickled at her nearness. It amazed him that after all the time that had passed; he could still feel her warm touch on his skin. His demon screamed at him to go to her, take what was rightfully his and make it true.
His pride however stopped him. He was his own man, had been for years. He didn’t need her telling him what to do. He made his own decisions. He hadn’t been her lapdog now for years. He wasn’t gong to start now.

He was through running to her. She was here, outside his door. She was going to have to come to him. She could stand out there for forever as far as he was concerned; hell he wasn’t getting any older.
His eyes fixed on the door, a scowl set on his face.

Why the bloody hell hadn’t she knocked?

Slowly she extended her arm to knock when the door was flung open.

‘Spike’
‘Buffy’
Silence filled the hall as both persons let the presence of the other wash over them.

Spike looked at Buffy; it had been too long, perhaps a life time since he laid eyes on her. She hadn’t changed, her hair a golden halo, her eyes a sea of emeralds, her skin glowing golden from being kissed by the sun.

Buffy basked in Spike; he hadn’t changed in the nine years since she last saw him.

‘Um can I come in?’
‘Oh sorry Buffy, yeah’

When he stepped aside to let her in, he saw the large bump where her stomach used to be. He heard the rapid thump of the unborn child’s heart beat that was lying within that overstretched confine.

‘Bloody hell Summers what in the-’ he feinted.
‘Typical’ was all she mumbled as she stepped over the sprawled body of Spike.

Spike came to with his vision filled with Buffy, an amused smirk on her lips. He sat up, looked again at her and her not so miss-able belly ‘So not a dream pet?’
‘Nope’ she popped the p ‘one very real not dream’
‘When’
‘Nine months ago’
‘Who’
‘Don’t know’ ashamed Buffy dropped her eyes to her fidgeting fingers that rested on top of the swell of her stomach.
He stood; a dramatic gesture ‘Don’t know?’ his tone held an unnatural high pitch.
She looked up at him. ‘It was a drunken mistake, a one night stand’ the shame and guilt clearly present in her eyes.
‘Does he know?’ his voice softer now, more accepting.
‘Cant really remember his face let alone a name.’ She cringed, waiting for his reprimand.
‘So that’s a no’
‘Beer bad’ she tried for an innocent smile but looked constipated instead.
A slight chuckle escaped his lips ‘You could never hold your liquor pet’

Spike reached down and offered Buffy his hand to help her off the floor. She reached for him without a second thought. Smiling he pulled her up from the floor.
‘What’s the Scoobies say about this little development?’
Buffy’s smile faded and a haunted look shadowed her eyes. Her voice was soft and full of sorrow. ‘They don’t know. After Dawn…After she died I cut myself off from them. Just kinda drifted away, wasn’t like I was needed.’
It had been nine years since Dawn was killed in a car accident. Nine years, two months and seventeen days.

‘Sorry about...sorry I couldn’t make it to her…’ He couldn’t say it. Hell he couldn’t even say her name; it ripped at his unbeating heart.

She could feel the guilt and sorrow he had placed on his soul about her death. It rolled off him in waves.
‘Its okay you…didn’t know, and it was held during the day.’ She tried to lighten his guilt.
‘Still if I had known, I would have come. You know how much I love her. She is family.’

‘Thanks’

‘So you’re alone in this?’
She reached for his hand ‘Not any more’
His fingers treaded through hers. ‘No love, not any more’


Chapter End Notes:
Review me, Please I live off the scraps you throw my way. I am starving.



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