Author's Chapter Notes:
Warning for Adult language but it's mild.
I walk down Main Street, not looking in any of the shop windows, just walking. Oh and desperately trying not to think of last night and who I spent it with. It had been Spike of course but this hadn’t been one of those comforting pep talks and he certainly hadn’t been my shoulder to cry on.

Ok we had sex, it was good...no fantastic, mind blowing sex.

I shake my head ‘no, don’t think about the sex, or his toned body, or his amazingly blue eyes that are so.......Gah!’

I look over to my right and a little angel appears, which happens every time I do something stupid. I turn and look to my left and a little devil appears. Which is also a common thing when I do something stupid...I’m sensing a pattern here.

Angel- “What are you doing?”

“What do you think, I’m avoiding” I’m also perfectly aware that I’m speaking to no one.

Devil- “Who cares, she fucked him and left, it’s what I would have done”.

I flinch at my devil’s comment, hearing it out loud makes me wonder if I really am heartless.

Angel- “Oh what do you know”.

Devil- “I know more than you, little princess bubblegum”.

This is another thing that these two little people do...they fight and disagree with everything. When I say everything I mean every single thing that is said.

Sometimes it’s not worth it. You know having voices swimming around in my head, it’s kind of intrusive. Maybe I’m just going insane.

Angel- “So are you gonna apologise or not?”

“Why would I apologise?” I challenge my little friend who is currently the picture of innocence, with her golden halo and pure white dress.

Devil- “See, little angel you may look smart but my girl here has some sense!” The devil poked her tongue out at the angel and looked smug.

I shake my head again and began to walk quicker.

Angel- “So, trying to run from your problems?”

I clenched my teeth “No, I’m not running from anything. I’m just walking faster to escape from you two!”

I’m aware that a few people are looking at me, but I couldn’t give a fuck right now. Who cares if they stare, God if they knew the crap I’ve been going through they wouldn’t have the right to stare.

Devil- “Go home, spend your night by yourself and let that vampire crawl back to you, come on you know he will”.

Angel- “That’s awful, do you even have a smidgen of that black thing they call your heart!”

Devil- “Oh go fuck yourself!” The little devil sat down on Buffy’s shoulder and pouted.

“Ok both of you out now!” I yell and flick them off of my shoulder. They actually fall and stay on the ground, which I’m grateful for.

I start out at a jog, then a run and finally I sprint.

I have no idea where I’m going, probably gonna end up in the water.

After my limbs feel like they’re about to fall off, I stop.

Panting I look at my surroundings, the beach.

I smile and walk down to the sand. The beach was my favourite place as a kid, Dad used to take Dawn down to the peer and mum and I would make a huge sandcastle. It wasn’t violent...it was just nice, safe and something for the family.

I smile again as a memory washes over me. Dawn and I playing in the water right until the sun set on the horizon.

Of course now my family consists of me, a vampire slayer who has died twice, been ripped from heaven and has slept with two vampires. Dawn, a teenage hormone bomb who constantly needs new clothes, steals from my friends and cuts classes at school.

Then there’s my daddy dearest who hasn’t been a part of my life since I was sixteen, is sleeping with his secretary and probably his accountant and he hasn’t sent a check for child support in over five years.

Bastard.

I notice that the sun is setting, I frown and think carefully.

I’ve spent the whole day talking to myself and thinking about Spike.

I sigh and wonder what I feel for that vamp that seems to have wormed his way into my life.

He’s a pretty great guy...er vamp. I mean he fell in love with me and I treat him like he isn’t good enough to lick my boots.

I hug my arms around myself to fight off the chill that is currently trying to crawl up my spine.

Standing I brush the dust off of my jeans and walk back up to the pavement.

I’m off to see my favourite blonde vampire.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Its been about twenty minutes since I started walking and I can see Restfield cemetery in the distance. If you think about it, the beach is really too far away. I may be a slayer but it doesn’t mean that my feet don’t start hurting after ten minutes in heels.

I curse my choice of shoe, although I didn’t know I’d end up walking in them all day.

As Spike’s crypt is in my sight I start walking with determination. Then I get tackled.

Fucking tackled to the ground by a newbie.

I elbow my attacker in the nose and I hear a satisfying crunch.

I throw this sorry excuse for a vampire in front of me and walk towards him, as I step my leg buckles and I look at my shoe. Broken, just great.

“You broke my shoe!” I frown as I look at the snapped heel.

The vamp looks at me with confusion, he’s probably wondering why I’m not screaming and running for my life.

I pull of my shoe and put it down carefully.

He advances on me and I yank my other shoe off. Practically snarling as I do so.

After a brief and unsatisfying battle the vamp turns to dust and drifts away in the slight breeze.

I pick up my shoes and walk over to Spike’s crypt, after knocking several times I walk in.

More out of suspicion than anything else.

I scan the top level of Spike’s crypt, nothing.
I walk over to the ladder and leap down, I land gracefully and flick back my hair.

There sprawled out on his large bed is my lover....yeah I’ll call him that. Spike really doesn’t seem like the type of guy you call honey or sweetie.

I walk over to the bed and study him. He’s a heavy sleeper so I just plonk down onto the bed.

He twitches a bit and then settles down.
I lay down next to him and face him, gently tracing patterns on his skin.

I almost shriek when he wraps me up in his embrace. Must be a reflex action.

I don’t resist like I would have last night, instead I rest my head against his chest, and my eyes start to flutter.

I kiss his chest lightly before I let sleep take over my body.

I’m giving him his crumb.


Chapter End Notes:
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