Author's Chapter Notes:
Ok guys, this is a story of mine that I had on here ages ago, that I have revised and now reposting. Although it is completely re-written, it was still my first ever story, so the story plot, characterisation, whatever, may seem a little off and a little lame. so, please dont totally burn me with your comments, but honest is appreciated. Thanks~!
Second Time Around

Chapter one: Same time, Different place

“I mean it! I gotta do this” Spikes voice, thick with resolve, could be heard over the echo of falling earth as he put his hand up to stop Buffy arguing with him

They were in the hell mouth; the amulet around Spikes neck had destroyed the Turak-hans and soon, it would take him with them. The earth, as always in these types of situations, was falling down around them. The ground they were on trembled, but for a moment, the pair stood still. Buffy grasped Spikes hand with her own, interlocking their fingers as they slowly began to burn. A momentary clench of her teeth, and the pain in her hand was forgotten as she stared into Spikes shining blue eyes. He looked at their hands, and then returned her gaze.

“I love you” she told him softly. All those years; fighting, loving, hating, all the history they shared and all the hardships they had experienced, yet in that one instant, with those softly spoken words, nothing had ever seemed so easy, so right. They were the words she was always meant to say. Similarly, they were the three words that Spike had always wanted to hear from her. He had fought for her life and for his just to earn those words, earn her love, and now he held them forever within his burning soul.

“No, you don’t” he said, “but thanks for saying it.” Awe seemed to lace his words as he denied her love for him. All this time, just to hear those words, and he was still willing to give them up for her happiness. He felt a pang of regret in his heart as he saw the look in her eyes, but on some level he knew that she understood what he was trying to do.

The earth beneath them trembled and their hands, like the moment they were in, ripped apart.

“Go on now, go” he demanded, feeling the last of his resolve slowly ebbing away. He stared straight away, praying for the strength he would need to let her go, one last night. From the corner of his eye, Spike could see Buffy shaking her head, her movements becoming more frantic as she fought with herself over the decision she was about to make.

“No” he heard her quietly whisper. He never imagined letting go would be as hard for her as it was for him

“No” Louder this time, her head shaking movements becoming more frantic, “No, I’m taking you with me.”

Before Spike could protest, Buffy had pulled the amulet from around his neck, sustaining more burns as she did so, and throwing it to the cracked and crumbling floor. Without thinking, his hand slipped once again into hers as they ran together out of the cave and into safety.

As they looked into each other’s eyes, neither one could believe that, even if only for a moment, they were willing to let the other go. Silent tears streamed down Buffy’s face; tears of joy and disbelief; she had done it, she had really saved him.

“I do love you” She told him, the tone in her voice begging him to believe her words, “Please don’t leave me, please”

With a smile on his face, Spike raised his hand and cupped her cheek, “Never pet, I’ll always be right here with you. You know that.” Buffy smiled, she did know that.
Suddenly, everything around her, Spike included, began to fade away

“Spike!” she yelled, a look of panic on her face as she tried to reach out and grab his hand again “SPIKE!”
With a gasp, Buffy sat upright in bed. Looking around, trying to figure out where she was, the knowledge that she was safe, in her bed, in her bedroom, in room, slowly hit her.

“It was a dream... I was just dreaming...again:” she told herself quietly, hand placed against her chest in order to feel her thundering heartbeat.

She hadn’t saved Spike. He had died in the hell mouth. Died saving the world, as her champion. And he has left her all alone- something he said he would never do. Buffy looked over to the clock on her bedside table and saw that it was 1:53am, a time when, before the creation of thousands of other slayers, she would be patrolling. But now, she had no need to go out and was, instead, left at home with her thoughts and her dreams. Sighing once more, she turned her bedside lamp on and opened the draw next to her. She pulled out a silver lighter; Spike’s lighter.

“I do love you” She said into the darkness, tears rolling down her cheeks.

-----------------------------------------LOS ANGELES: SAME TIME------------------------------------------------------
Spike was alone in his room, a small lamp his only source of light and a pen in his hand with paper spread out in front of him; a scene slightly reminiscent to that of his human days, in the dark writing dens of his hometown. His dead body so desperately craved sleep, yet somehow it eluded him. In a few days, he would be fighting what would likely be his last apocalypse hand in hand with his poofy grandsire. But honestly, he didn’t care. There was only one thing on his mind, only one thing he truly cared about; Buffy. He let out a resigned sigh, and began to write.

Minutes, or possibly hours, passed. It was still night, yet his previously clean room was now littered with ink stains and screwed up balls of paper on the floor.
Exhausted, he folded his final copy of his letter and
slid them into a big, faded brown, envelope. The kind that, had it been a parcel, would have been tied up with straw; the kind he thought Buffy would’ve like. Adding the finishing touches, Spike opened his desk draw and pulled out his amulet, the one he had been wearing on his last day in the hell mouth, and placed it inside the envelope, sealing it shut. He didn’t know if Buffy would want his amulet or not, or even how she still felt about his, but at least if he sent it to her she would know for sure that it was him. Putting the envelope down, he picked up the phone and dialled a familiar number.

“Hello?” A tired voice answered on the other line

“Lorne? It’s Spike. I know its late, but I need your help” Spike pleading, holding a breath he didn’t need to take as he waited for Lornes answer

“Ok” He finally agreed, “Give me a minute and I will be right up”

“Thanks mate,” Spike said, hanging up the phone.
True to his word, a few minutes later Lorne was at Spike’s door.

“Thanks for coming Lorner, um...come in and sit down?” Spike asked, momentarily distracted by the purple, green and blue striped night gown adorning Lorne’s body. “You know, it wouldn’t have killed you to dress up” Spike told him, barely concealing the grin on his face. Over the last few months at Angel inc, he had really grown to like the horned green demon.

“Sweet cakes, you pull a demon out of bed at this hour and you get what you asked for” Lorne replied in good humour. Spike smiled, but didn’t take the subject any further.

“Speaking of which, what is it that I can do for you?” Lorne asked, taking a seat on the couch

“Well, i know you’re not going to be here, for the fight that is, and I was wondering...” Spike began, picking up the envelope from his desk, “...If I don’t make it out, will you make sure Buffy gets this?” He finished, placing said envelope into Lorne’s waiting hands.

“No one can know about it though, not Peaches, not the Watcher, none of ‘em.” He quickly added

Lorne sat silently, staring at the envelope in his hands, knowing that Spike was watching him, hoping and waiting for his answer. He sighed; he had always been a sucker for romance.

“I’ll make sure she gets it” Lorne told him, looking up. Spike let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding and let his shoulders sink in relief.

“Thank you” Spike told him with more sincerity than should be possible for someone who was un-dead, “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Oh no Sunshine, I think I do.” With that, Lorne said his goodnights and headed back to his room. Spike, after stripping down to his usual bedding attire, was in his own bed moments later, bitter-sweet thoughts of his slayer filling his head as he drifted off to sleep.

TBC





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