You’re in my heart
Leaving him there had been the hardest thing she ever had to do, but she did it, because he wanted her to.
He wanted her to live. She was supposed to go on living, like he had sung to her so long ago. And it was never as hard as that day.
Buffy stood in front of the yellow school bus that would carry them away from here, a place once their home, a place where they spent the last seven years together, faced one foe after another, that was now a gaping hole in the landscape.
She was asked what she wanted to do now. And she didn’t have any idea. But when the sign fell into the hole she couldn’t help the smile that kept creeping in her face. She thought of him, he wanted her to live. And that is what she would do now.
So they decided it would be best to go to L.A. first, to tell Angel he didn’t need to bring in the second front. And they had to tend to the wounded. Buffy looked across the abyss one last time, said her goodbyes and then they reluctantly drove to L.A.
She wasn’t looking forward to seeing Angel again, but it had to be done. She simply had to get it over with. She didn’t want to have this conversation with him but she somehow owned him an explanation.
The last words she said to him were simply said to get him off her back, to get him to leave. Because it wasn’t his fight, it never was, she knew that now. He always seemed to rush back into her life at the hardest times, never just to visit. He always disturbed everything she had built in the time when he wasn’t there.
She didn’t even know what he did all these years he wasn’t there. But it didn’t matter now. Because she knew now, it would never be him. Because there is only one Vampire who ever loved her with all his heart and it wasn’t Angel. It never was.
And more importantly, she knew she loved Spike, as their hands touched she was complete and she knew she had the fire finally back.
Upon arriving at the Hyperion, they noticed that there wasn’t anyone there, the y stopped there anyhow before going to the Hospital to tend to the wounded Slayers. Afterwards she called Angel to let him know where they were.
He told them the direction to Wolfram & Hart and Giles, Willow and Buffy met him there. They were surprised and not just a little bit worried about the new location but they met him anyhow.
He knew, without having said a word, Buffy knew Angel knew that Spike was gone. He asked her how and if she was alright.
She told him and avoided the second question because she didn’t have the strength to tell him everything and somehow she felt that it wouldn’t be right to talk to him about it.
Giles took over the decision making and they concluded it would be best for them to stay at the hotel for a few weeks, so that they could make plans for travelling and gathering together the thousands of Slayers which now where in the world, waiting to be found.
Two weeks later, Giles, Buffy, Willow and Dawn were ready to take the plane to England, because they wanted to rebuild the Watcher’s Council.
Buffy thought it would be a good idea to go to England, because she wanted to find out more about Spike, just because he was gone now, doesn’t mean she couldn’t find out more about the man she loved with all her heart.
That was why, after having gone through all the files about William the Bloody Giles still had, she found herself in front of a large Victorian house in the outskirts of London. And she liked it. It reminded her of him.
She felt like home as she walked through the old house and had a look at its garden, which was really beautiful and the most important thing was, it had a back porch just like her house back in Sunnydale. It was up for rent and Buffy told the solicitor she would take it, the Council would pay. The next week they moved in.
After then, her days were filled with gathering the Slayers, and helping Giles building up the new Council, but the nights, the nights still belonged to him.
She spend them thinking back to the old times.
Nearly every night she spend sitting on her porch steps, staring blankly in the dark night sky. Then it was so easy to drift back to a time when she wasn’t alone there, when she was comfortable, at ease and when she felt loved.
Yeah, she could finally admit that now. But it was too late for him when she finally had the courage to tell him. She knows he believed her words, because he told her with his eyes, burning right into her soul.
And now she is in London, the town where he once walked along during night and day, was alive once upon a time, sitting in the backyard of a house he once called his own.
She felt close to him, could even pretend that he was right here with her and she looked back to a time when she said he was in her heart.
There wasn’t a time when that was more true than now, and she felt happy at that thought, although she knew she could never hold him close again, never look into those eyes again, blue like the ocean, drowning in them, never again.
And she could never hear his voice again, never hear his words which cut right to the core of all the things she believed in but never would have admitted to herself.
But he was in her heart and that was why she felt at peace, felt loved and could believe that she would be happy again. And all it took to steer this feelings was sitting here, on those steps in a place he once called home.
.......
What would she say, could she know that he felt the same, sitting on a certain spot of earth on the other side of the pond, staring above a place once called by the settlers la Boca del inferno or as he always liked to call it:
Sunnyhell, home sweet home.
The end
Author's Chapter Notes:
This was the first fanfic I ever posted, I changed it a little and hope you like it. Comments are welcome. :)
Chapter End Notes:
Completed story