Author's Chapter Notes:
Here it is - the last chapter. My thanks to all the readers who stuck with this different (for me) story. I am not putting any warnings in for this chapter - so be warned that there are no warnings. I think one warning wouldn't be needed because it's canon, and the other really shouldn't come as a surprise.
CHAPTER NINETEEN

"I don't want to be the One," Buffy said with a trace of a pout. Her mind went from Spike's impassioned speech about the kind of woman she was to a quieter, more gentle place where all she had to be was herself. Where the only people I have to please are my parents, my boyfriend and my boss. Oh, and my shrink, I guess. "I don't want to be the One," she repeated stubbornly.

"Well, I don't want to be this good-looing and athletic..." He smiled up into her rolling eyes. "We all have our crosses to bear."

He'd already stood up and moved away, telling her he'd return to check on her, when she scooted back on the bed and said the words that wiped every trace of snark from his face and voice. Disbelief and awe were still fighting for dominance when Buffy patted the bed beside her.

"Just hold me?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


For the first time since she'd driven Spike away to get a soul, Bufy allowed herself the comfort of his arms. There was no trace of unwanted sexual tension as they lay together, exchanging soothing caresses and looks that said more than words ever could. Buffy dozed off, content for the moment to be held and cherished by the vampire who always had her back.

When she woke up he'd fallen asleep, the rising sun having taken its toll on his vampire constitution. As she stared at his youthful-looking face, relaxed in sleep in a way he would never allow when awake, she mourned the wonderful man she knew he could have been if not for meeting Drusilla.

But then, I wouldn't have known him, would I? Some other very lucky girl would have ended up married to William, and they'd have both been dead long before I was born.

Shaking off her sad thoughts, she basked briefly in the renewed courage and conviction that Spike's confidence in her had awakened the night before. She was suddenly sure that she knew, if not exactly what was being hidden in the winery, at least who it belonged to.

"There's something there that's mine," she wrote, struggling for words to explain why she was running off while Spike slept. "You've given me the courage to go after it. I know you'll want to help, but I have to do this by myself. What's there is mine to take. I'll be back when I've got it."

Buffy stared at the piece of paper, wanting so badly to sign the note "Love, Buffy" but worried about the consequences at a time when they had so much else to deal with. After. I'll tell him after. She settled for drawing a small heart with a B inside it, folded the paper, set it on the pillow, kissed his forehead and tiptoed out of the room, shoes in hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy stared after Angel as he disappeared into the shadows, guilt over the way she'd minimized Spike's real place in her life making her cringe.

It's not like I ever told him about that other world. My 'heaven'. He has no idea why Spike is so important to me; and I don't see any reason to tell him now. If – when – this is over, I'll sit him down and try to explain...

She put her hand in her pocket, keeping it safely wrapped around the amulet that Angel had told her was meant to be worn by "a champion". "Stronger than human, but with a soul..." She tried to tell herself she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with it, but she knew she was lying. It only took getting Spike's justifiable hurt and jealousy out of the way – and how she regretted now that she'd kissed Angel when she did – before she accepted that he already knew it was going to be him. She slowly dropped it into his outstretched hand, her eyes apologizing for putting him in harm's way even as she watched him stand taller at this ultimate sign of faith.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As she lay next to him, feeling the familiar arms draped around her for what they both knew could well be the last time, she felt an unanticipated sob catch in her throat. Before she could muffle it, or the one that followed, he was holding her more tightly and murmuring in her ear.

"Buffy? What is it, love? You've been brilliant. You know that. You've done what you need to do – just as you always do. You're going to win, Slayer. You know you are."

Unable to articulate what was causing the uncharacteristic breakdown, she just turned towards him and burrowed into his chest, letting his calming words flow over her and his gentle hands soothe. When she felt she had control of her voice, she whispered, "I know we're going to win. I do. But some of us aren't going to make it. I know that too. I just don't know who it's going to be. I'm sending people to their deaths. Me. The Slayer. The one who's supposed to give her life so that no one else has to."

"World doesn't work like that, Buffy. Never has. There's no shame in bringing in help." He tipped her chin up. "And watching you give your life to save the world once was one time too many for me. Never letting that happen again."

She snorted and rubbed her nose on his shirt. "Who died and put you in charge?" she muttered, rubbing the wet spot she'd left on his chest.

"I'm just saying, love. If it's you or me... "

"How about if it's neither you or me?" she said, clutching him tightly. "Can we make that the plan?"

"We can. I hope we do. Got some important conversations to have yet, yeah?"

"Yeah," she agreed softly, stroking his face. "We do."

"That's settled then," he said, dropping his head to the pillow. "Neither one of us is going to die tomorrow. Got a future to plan."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sp- William?"

"Buffy?"

"Are you awake?"

"Mmmmph" He squirmed around until he was facing her. "I am now. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong, I was just..." She stroked her hand down his cheek. "I was just thinking that we have some time before we have to get up, and...."

His body tensed. "And what?"

"Do I have to spell it out?" She nuzzled the side of his neck, sucking gently on the place she knew made him crazy. Although his arms tightened around her and his interest was immediately apparent, his voice was not as welcoming as she'd expected.

"Might have to, Buffy. Thought we'd agreed...."

"One of us might die tomorrow – today. I just don't want...." She sighed. "I'm sorry, it was a bad idea, I guess."

"Oh, I think it's a bloody good idea, pet. Think you can tell that." He tipped her chin up and brushed his lips across hers in a chaste kiss. "But I don't think I want to go out knowing you threw me a pity fuck."

"Ewwww! And no. I'm... I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me." She searched his eyes, seeing the fear under the bravado. Her voice softened as she stroked his face again. "I don't think I'd want to live, knowing we could have and we didn't... and then we never.... I want you. I want to feel you again. Make love to me?"

"You know I can't refuse you anything," he said, struggling to make light of her words and to keep his voice even. "I just hope you appreciate the sacrifice I'm making here. The courage it takes to force myself to...."

"Shut up, you jackass."

"Shutting up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




The light coming from the amulet on Spike's chest seemed to be pouring directly out of his body. Every Turok-han the rays touched burst into flames or crumbled to dust. The entire Hellmouth was shaking, huge chunks of rock falling off the sides and bouncing their way into the abyss below. Ignoring Faith's demand that she follow them out, Buffy moved closer to Spike

"Gotta move, lamb," he said. "I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer." In spite of the pain he must have been in as his soul channeled the sun into the depths of hell, he looked like he was enjoying himself.

And he probably is, Buffy thought with a sad smile. All this destruction and all from him... from his soul.

Instead of leaving, Buffy moved closer to him and raised her left hand to link their fingers. The flames that licked between them burned with such a cold fire that she wasn't aware of pain, only of the man in front of her. Her eyes were focused on Spike, glowing as he literally burned away the evil. They stared wordlessly, their hands linked in flames, until Spike pulled his away.

"Go now!"

Her eyes brimming, Buffy realized that she was looking at Spike for what was probably going to be the last time. A voice inside her began to scream as he started to burn from the inside out.

"I love you."

He gave her a sad smile. "No, you don't. But thanks for saying it," he said. "Now go! It's up to me to do the clean up."

"I'm not leaving you!" She reached for amulet, trying to pull it away from his body, but the pull between it and the light he was emitting was too strong. "No!"

"Shhh, love, shhhh. It's what I was meant to do, yeah? This was the journey, the one that began when I saw you dancing with your friends all those years ago. Don't cry for me, Buffy. Live for me. Go, have yourself a life. Find someone who will love you the way you deserve."

"I have that," she insisted, realization dawning even as he started to crumble in front of her. "I have that!" she screamed, pulling on the amulet again, but only managing to burn her hand.

"See you on the other side, love," he said, his voice fading as his throat crumbled to ash.

Blinded by tears, Buffy turned and began to flee the rapidly disintegrating cavern. She burst out into the school, but fell to the floor when it bucked beneath her. Staggering to her feet, she watched in horror as the ceiling seemed to fold in on itself. She began to run, the door she needed to reach just visible at the far end of the hall. A muffled roar that grew louder told her that the building was collapsing behind her, and suddenly everything seemed to be in slow motion.

Her arms pumped, but barely, her feet hit the debris-covered floor so slowly that she was able to avoid the worst places. As she ran, she prayed that everyone had made it out, and that they were all safe on the bus, ready to head for safety. The ground continued to shake, an earthquake of such magnitude that even Southern California-bred Buffy wondered if the world was shaking itself apart. A sudden surge that buckled the floor in front of her sent Buffy to her knees, a piece of the wall landing on top of her and driving her down even more.

Buffy struggled to push the weight off her back. "Have to get out – work to be done – I'm the Slayer. I have to...." Her thoughts churned as her body struggled against the crushing weight. The Slayer – there were now hundreds of slayers in the world. She wasn't The One anymore. The First Evil had been defeated, if not forever, for long enough. Dawn was growing up and would soon be an adult, living her own life. Faith had proven herself worthy of being a slayer. Giles would have to work hard, but he had Xander and Willow, Anya and... Andrew? The Council would be resurrected. She could see it now. A Council that worked for slayers, not against them.

She sagged back to the floor, feeling the thousands of pounds of cinder block and drywall pressing on her lungs. Why am I fighting? I'm done... again. It's time, my time. As she gasped for air under the crushing weight of the wreckage now on her back, Buffy remembered Spike's last words to her: "See you on the other side, love." She lowered her head and collapsed onto the broken tiles. "Will...." she whispered as she closed her eyes. "Will."


The end.


Chapter End Notes:
I must give credit to my wonderful, hardworking betas on this story. Without them, who knows what it would have looked like! Three cheers for Eowyn_315, Always_jbj and Just_Sue.



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