Buffy pushed her fork, suspiciously, into the substance on her plate. Was that bits of hardboiled egg? She glanced across at Dawn, who was shovelling the stuff into her mouth like she was starving.

“In a rush?” She asked.

“Garri’s coming over to take me shopping. I left all my stuff at the apartment.” Dawn replied, pushing back her empty plate and smiling as Robert put another one, this time piled high with more familiar bacon and eggs, in front of her.

“Don’t you like your kedgeree, pet?” Spike asked, smirking at Buffy.

“I’m not really a breakfast person.” She said, then, realizing that she might hurt Robert’s feelings, she put a fork full of the weird stuff into her mouth. “This is actually quite good.” She said, tasting it.

“I’ve not had it in years,” Spike said, smiling at Robert, “I didn’t think people still ate it.”

“I didn’t realize that vampires ate, until I met Spike here.” Robert said, winking at Buffy.

“He likes to be different.”

“Eat up, pet,” Spike said, “You look like you haven’t had a decent meal in ages.”

“Do you have English money?” Buffy asked Dawn, trying to distract Spike from the obvious conclusion that she had lost weight, whilst pining for him.

“Er…” Dawn started.

“Not to worry, Nibblet,” Spike said, rummaging in his pocket.

He handed her his debit card. Dawn looked at the name on it, her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“This your real name?” She asked, puzzled.

“Course not. Pin number’s 1630, easy to remember; treat yourself.”

“How much…?”

“Much as you like, Bit. Enjoy; make a day of it.”

“If you two don’t mind..” Robert said, addressing Spike and Buffy, “I’m going to be very anti-social and spend the day pottering around in the garden. I need some time…”

“Of course.” Spike said.

“We understand.” Buffy said, at the same time.

“If I might make a suggestion…” Robert continued, “You two should talk. It’s obvious, to me, how you feel about each other; you should talk it out. I get the feeling it’s been a long time coming.”

* * * * *

Robert watched, a pang of guilt gnawing at him, as Spike and Buffy disappeared upstairs. He felt ashamed that he had used his own grief over Lily’s death, to manipulate them. He sighed, hearing Jennifer Anne make a little squeaking sound as Spike carried her away, she was the most important thing, now; not what Robert had waiting for him in the icehouse.

Most houses like this one, had an icehouse. Usually outside, below ground level, well insulated; ice was put in in the winter and, in the days before refrigeration, was available all year. Many of them had secret entrances, tunnels from the main house; after all, it wouldn’t do for one’s servants to have to carry ice across the garden at night, in the rain…

He thought about what he was planning. Would Lily have approved? Probably not. Would Spike? Definitely and, after he considered, would even agree that Robert was doing the right thing by leaving him out of it. Still, he felt guilty.

He had left Spike, sleeping the sleep of the dead, in the early pre-dawn hours and gone in search of ‘something for his aching head’. Excessive drinking was all very well but it did take its toll. At the top of the stairs, before heading down to the kitchen, he had paused, as he often did, to gaze out of the large picture window. From here, you had a stunning view of the grounds and he particularly liked seeing it bathed in moonlight. This time, though, he had seen something unexpected…

Adrenaline flooding his system, almost instantly curing his headache, he had raced to the garden, to take care of this new problem.

Knowing he wouldn’t have time, until later, he had put the whole situation on ice, as it were; he wanted this to last.

Once the initial phase was done, he had gone to one of the guest bathrooms and had a very thorough shower - the vampire sense of smell was legendary - and, just to make sure that no telltale residual scent hung about, he had then cooked a massive and fragrant breakfast.

* * * * *

“You like to take risks.” Buffy said, as Spike gently lowered Jennifer Anne into the antique family cot, next to the bed.

“Mmm?”

“Giving Dawn your plastic, like that.”

“It’s not like she’ll spend it all.” He said, satisfied that his baby daughter was comfortable.

“I wouldn’t count on it, what’s the limit, anyway?”

“It’s not a credit card, she’s limited by what’s in the account.”

“Well, that’s something.” Buffy laughed, as a new thought occurred to her: “I don’t suppose you’ll be the first father to have his bank account turned into shoes.”

“Just think of it as back-dated allowance, pet. All the years I didn’t know… I owe her. ‘Sides, you’re both gonna need stuff, if you‘re staying here.”

“Robert won’t mind?”

“No. He told me last night, he’d like me and Jennifer Anne to stay on. We’re all the family he has left and he likes you; seems to understand us more than we do.”

“And Dawn?”

“Well, he hadn’t met her, last night but the way they were getting on, this morning…”

Buffy gazed down at Jennifer Anne, now sleeping peacefully in her cot.

“She’s so beautiful.” Buffy murmured.

“You think so?” Spike asked, amusement tingeing his voice.

“Don’t you?” Buffy asked, turning to look at him, surprised.

“God, yes.” He replied, vehemently, “But I can’t be objective. I’m seeing her through a parent’s eyes; for all I know, she’s just ordinary.”

“You’ve seen her dust vampires, right?”

“Yeah. Interesting technique.”

“Tell me about it. I wonder what her range is?”

“Dunno. She’s only ever done inside the house.”

“She could make slayers obsolete.”

“There’s only one of her.”

“There used to be only one of me.”

“Feeling surplus to requirements, pet?”

“Yeah, a bit. Not just because of all the other slayers…”

“Huh?”

“You don’t need me… you’ve got all… this.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. People who accept you for who you are. Family.”

“That was the best part.” He said, sitting down on the bed, with a sigh.

“Being with Lily?” Buffy asked, sitting next to him, careful not to touch, wondering what was appropriate.

“Yeah. At first, I thought it was because she was a slayer, that I found her so irresistible, you know? Then again, I didn‘t fancy Faith, despite what you might have thought…”

“It was because of her blood. Lily, I mean.”

“Yeah. Family blood calls. Usually, vampires just want to feed…”

“With you it was desire…”

“My mother, after I sired her, tried to…”

“Yeah?” Buffy didn’t need to hear him spell it out.

“I really didn’t want… I staked her… mostly because I was so shocked…”

“Victorian sensibilities.”

“Maybe. Maybe, she was just too close. I know I could never feel that for Jennifer Anne or The Nibblet, for that matter,” he shuddered at the very idea. “But Lily…”

“Her blood was more diluted, further from yours but close enough to call to you.”

“You’re not disgusted?”

“I love you, you haven’t disgusted me for a very long time. If ever.”

“Huh?”

“I told you, I’ve had time to think. I replayed every moment I ever spent with you.”

“That can’t have been good.”

“That first night, when you walked into The Bronze and said someone was getting bitten outside…” She continued, as if she hadn’t heard him. “I was drawn to you then, until I realized that you were a vampire.”

She looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since they’d sat down.

“Willow was really scared of you, you know.”

“Really?” Spike sounded shocked.

“Yeah, she thought you were the most terrifying vamp she’d ever seen.”

‘This doesn’t make you any less terrifying..’ Spike could almost hear Willow saying those words, as he flashed back to that disastrous time in Buffy’s dorm room, when, newly chipped, he had tried to ‘settle’ for Willow. The way she had cried, when he had held a broken bottle to her face, the year before, in the burnt out remains of his factory lair…

“She said there was something so… predatory about you, more than any other vamp she’d encountered… but all I felt around you was… I don’t know… horny, I guess.

“When you had me down on the floor, on parent’s night… that stuff you said, later, about my being in love with death… I wanted it, that night, in the school. Your bite, I mean. And I didn’t want you to do it fast, the way you’d said, I wanted it to last…”

“All the times we shagged… you never let me…”

“Because I knew, especially then, dragged out of heaven, I knew, I wouldn’t want you to stop.”

“Don’t.” His voice cracked on the word and Buffy knew that he was remembering Lily and what she’d made him do.

“She’s there, now. Heaven, I mean.”

“I know. There’s nowhere else she could be.”

“Does Robert know?”

“Yeah. I told him, last night. I think that’s why he’s not taking it as badly as he could. Course, he was pretty wrecked, he might not remember the details of the conversation...”

“Spike..?” Buffy started, hesitantly.

“Yeah, pet?”

“Tell me about this vampire… claim.. bonding… thingy.”

Spike smiled at her way with words.

“The ‘vampire claim bonding thingy‘, is, I think, the main reason your watcher wanted me dead.”

“Not because I had your chip removed and he didn’t trust my judgement?”

“Yeah, probably that too… but the idea that we might claim each other… that must’ve really freaked him out. I imagine he believed I couldn’t do it, while my chip was still working.”

“But your chip didn’t work on me any more.”

“Did you ever tell him that?”

“I’m not sure.” Buffy wrinkled her forehead, the way Spike found so cute, as she thought about his question. “He was in England, when we found out, remember? And when he came back, you’d left and we were busy trying to stop Willow destroying the world. So, no; in fact, I’m not sure I told any of them, even when Xander came into my bathroom, just after…” She felt him tense up, “Oh, I told Tara.” She continued, as if she hadn’t realized where she had been heading. “I wanted her to do research, find out how I came back wrong and just how wrong I was…”

“Sorry, pet. I should never have said that to you. You’re the most right thing in this world.”

“Good to know. So, what’s your un-chipped-ness got to do with us bonding?”

“There’s… um… biting involved.”

“But Giles must have known your chip didn’t work on me, when I told him we’d been sleeping together. We could never have done…”

“Librarian, pet.”

“Oh, you mean he wouldn’t have realized how rough…”

“I doubt it. Also, he sees himself as a father figure, for you; no father wants to think of his daughter in those terms. No decent father.”

“I guess not.”

“Why did you forgive him, after your cruciamentum?”

“You know about that?”

“You mentioned it to The Guardian. Since I fell for you, I’ve done a lot of research on slayers, to try to understand you better; I read about that dirty trick.”

“Oh. Well, I guess when Travers - head watcher - sacked Giles; I s’pose I felt sorry for him.” She saw Spike’s puzzled look. “Giles told me, at the last minute, about the test. Made it invalid. Then, I still had to go through with it because Kralik - the vamp I had to fight - kidnapped my mom.”

“Kralik? You managed to kill that head-case? With no slayer powers? God, how did I survive you, all these years?”

“And what about me? Huh? Slayer of slayers…” She broke off, realizing that there were tears in his eyes, “Oh, God, Spike…I didn’t mean… I’m so sorry.”

“S’okay,” He said, pressing the heels of his hands hard into his eye sockets. “It keeps hitting me, over and over, what I did.”

“Why does my foot always have to live in my mouth?”

“Natural slayer flexibility?” Spike deadpanned, his tears retreating.

Despite herself, Buffy laughed.

“So, if Giles hadn’t been sacked by the council of wankers, do you think you’d have still forgiven him?”

“Maybe not, does it matter?”

“It might. This ‘Travers’ person may have sacked Giles, precisely so you would forgive him. The two of you bound together in the face of a common enemy…”

“God, listen to you, ‘bound together in the face of a common enemy’ you’ve been in England way too long. You could have a point, though.” She shivered. “The Guardian’s made me all paranoid, now. That thing she said, about Giles not being responsible for Dana‘s death, like there were others he had killed.”

“I think, she meant Ben.”

“Huh? Glory Ben?”

“Yeah. After Glory retreated, the last time, Giles made sure she wouldn’t be back…”

“By murdering Ben.” Buffy said, her voice flat and resigned.

“He was pretty busted up, he’d have probably died anyway…”

“Really not the point. God, after all I said, before that fight. He really never took any notice… only when it suited him. The Guardian’s right, he’s as bad the others. Whatever she has planned, I’m in. You?”

“I’m with you, no matter what, you know that.”

“Yeah.“ She smiled at him, then her eyes narrowed, “And how come we’ve changed the subject? There’s biting, for this bonding thingy; what else?”

“Love-making and a declaration.” Spike said, sounding a little nervous.

“What kind of declaration?”

“I haven’t been able to find out. ‘Heartfelt words’ is all that any of the books say. I get the idea it’s secret. I tracked down a demon couple, who were so bonded it was untrue… asked them about it…”

“And?”

“They wouldn’t say. They said it was instinctive. That I would know when, who with and what to say, when or if, the time came. We both would.”

“You and… whoever?”

“Me and you… or no one.”

“We’ve made love; that last night…why didn‘t we…?” Buffy sounded hurt.

“It wasn’t right. Not then, not with me about to go to my death. If we’d bonded that night, you’d have died with me… or soon after.”

“That’s the downside, I imagine. What’s the up?”

“You’d stop ageing. I wouldn’t have to watch you grow old… and, I’m fairly certain that there would be a mental connection.”

“What, like telepathy?”

“Yeah.”

“And if, for example, I wanted this, with, for example, you; would you want it, too?”

“Hypothetically speaking?”

“Yeah, Spike, hypothetically, if the time was right.”

“Yes. I would. More than anything.”

Smiling, Buffy leaned into him, for a kiss.

“Me too.” She said.

When she came up for air, she pulled away, a little.

“You taste different.” She said.

“Not smoking any more.”

“Because of Jennifer Anne?”

“Partly. Being chained to a wall for months, forced me to give up; Jennifer Anne’s a good reason not to start again. Besides, it’s not the pleasure it used to be.”

“Why not?”

“The Gem of Amara. Poisons, like alcohol and nicotine don’t effect me while I’m wearing it.”

“Have you had it implanted, or something?” Buffy asked, looking at his hands.

“No,” He took her hand and ran it across his finger, so she could feel the ring.

“It’s invisible. How?”

“Magic. Garri got it for me, some complicated spell that drags lost objects out of time, then, he put a glamour spell on it so no one can see it.”

“Good thing Lilith didn’t find it. She wasn’t suspicious that you didn’t starve to death?”

“Vampires can’t starve to death. We just get thinner and weaker, makes it a good torture. No permanent damage. Just ‘do what I want and you’ll get fed’ no harm done.”

“What did she want you do?”

“You really don’t want to know.”

“OK.” Buffy kissed him, again.

“Not that I’m complaining, pet…” Spike said, breaking the kiss, “…but aren’t you going to nag me until I tell you?”

“No. I trust your judgement. If you say I don’t want to know… well, I already know loads of things I’d rather not.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“In what way are you ‘cookies‘?”

Buffy laughed.

“Angel said something about ‘cookie dough‘,” Spike continued, sounding slightly confused, “when we thought you were with The Immortal… I wondered what he was on about…”

“It was a weird analogy I used, when he turned up in Sunnydale, that last time. To explain why I wasn’t ready.”

“Wasn’t ready for what?”

“To make decisions on my future. Years ago, he walks out of my life, claiming it’s for my own good and then, he can’t take it when I find someone else.”

“Bloody hypocrite.”

“I tried to explain that you were in my heart…”

“Bet that went down well…”

“But I couldn’t tell him I was in love with you - not when I hadn’t even told you - then, I get back home and have to take the same jealous vampire crap, from you…”

“Sorry, pet…”

“…And then in Rome, he’s having me watched…”

“He always was a stalker…”

“Yeah, him and Angelus? Pretty much the same person.”

“Well, yeah. Coz if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have needed to feel so much guilt.”

“You know what?” Buffy said, putting her arms around his neck and pulling him to her. “I don’t want to talk about him, any more…”

* * * * *

In the silence of the icehouse, Robert surveyed his victim; the harsh overhead light, revealing everything. The wide terrified eyes, the thick, black tape across the mouth, the ropes biting cruelly into soft skin…

Robert, who, not so long ago, had condemned Rupert Giles for being a ‘ruthless bastard’, was about to torture a fellow human being, to death…