And so they talked. Freely and openly. The thought was a constant at the back of their minds; that as much as they wanted to stay warm and comfortable in front of that fire, together, they’d have to go back soon.

So they tried to make the most of it.

Calming down from a bout of light-hearted laughter, Buff y pointed at him with a piece of chocolate coated marshmallow, “I have to say though, we were good together. Us against those lame-o vamps, they should have been choking on their dusty futures!”

Swallowing his mouthful of hot chocolate, he nodded with a giggle. “Or, we could have carried on with ourselves and brought their little shack of a hideout down on their heads.”

Buffy blushed at the memory of the past year which had seen a gang of vampires returning to their lair only to find the two of them caught like teenagers in a heated, groping session.

“Can you imagine what would’ve happened if it’d gotten out? William the Bloody and the Slayer...sleeping together.” She chewed thoughtfully on another marshmallow then added, “Actually....we never really did that.”

His eyes widened comically and he looked at her incredulously.

“Well, I mean, yes,” she correctly quickly. “We had...sex. But we never slept together. Not properly.”

“Oh.” Spike looked down at his hands, trying to hide the cloud of emotions running through his mind, “Yeah.” It was something he’d wanted to do right from the very start of their tumultuous relationship. He had always tried to get her to stay, just wanted to have her body curled next to his for a little longer. Perhaps this was as close to that as he’d get.

In the corner of his sight, he saw Buffy give him the most bittersweet smile. He tried to return it.

~

“I think about it sometimes.”

She’d said it so softly she thought he hadn’t heard her, but he turned and gave her a puzzled look.

“Sex?”

“No!” She gave his arm a playful punch. “You and your one track mind.”

He laughed and rubbed at his arm. “Sorry, luv. What is it that you think about?”

She looked straight in his eyes and whispered, “Heaven.”

His smile fell and his hand flew to take hers. “Buffy, sweetheart—”

“All this time I was trying to move on, trying to forget. I really did try my best.”

He nodded, hanging onto every word and watching her as if she were the only thing in the world.

“But sometimes I couldn’t help but think about...finding it again; just something that’d bring me close to what it was like. That feeling, you know? I guess I just wanted to have that feeling again.”

“Finding it again?” His voice cracked under the heavy emotion coursing through him. “Buffy, you mean you thought about—” He couldn’t bring himself to finish. She’d thought about dying again? The very thought broke his heart.

“No, Spike. No, not at all.” She shifted her body to face him fully. “I just wanted to tell you that I think I found it. I feel warm and I feel loved. I know I’m far from finished and that we’re in the midst of Hell, but here...now...you’ve given me a little piece of Heaven. I couldn’t ever thank you enough.”

Overwhelmed by her openness, he looked down shyly, a smile dancing across his lips. With a touch of uncertainty she reached out and tilted his chin up, bringing their eyes level. She saw his lips part, a sentence on the tip of his tongue. But somehow the warmth of his words hit her before they’d even been spoken, and so lost in the sight of him, she lunged forwards and pressed her lips to his. She felt him hesitate for a millisecond before melting into her touch.

His kiss spoke volumes. And so did hers.

Their lips felt scalded by a burning heat but they were powerless to break apart. It was addictive. Intoxicating. There was no search for dominance over the other, their bodies melded together in the most natural of ways; a gentle and effortless passion.

Spike wound a strong arm around her as she clutched at his shoulders and stroked the nape of his neck. With his free hand he pushed the couch back further, coaxing her to lie back on the cushions as she pulled his body impossibly closer and closer. Under the cover of the rug, she wrapped a leg around his thigh, unconsciously opening herself to him. Her body started to demand a regular flow of oxygen but she refused to stop kissing him. The fire was raging when he groaned and pushed himself a little harder against her pliant form. The movement of his lips was so sweet and cherishing, she moved her other leg up to his hip and soon his throbbing desire pressed flush against hers. So familiar was their position that she pulled away helplessly and breathed his name.

His eyes flashed open in realisation and he jerked up. “God,” he gasped. “I’m sorry.”

“No! It wasn’t—it was me...” Dazed, she took a deep breath. “Please don’t say sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

In the back of her mind, Buffy noticed that their bodies still touched intimately. But with his hips resting between her thighs, she’d never felt more at home. His expression read nothing but adoration with just a hint of confusion and his eyes fluttered when she reached up to tentatively stroke his scarred eyebrow.

“Will you do something for me?” she whispered.

He didn’t miss a beat. “Anything. You know you don’t have to ask me that.”

“Will you sleep with me tonight? Just sleep.” She stroked his jawline. “Share my bed.”

“Buffy, I don’t—”

He stopped quickly as he noticed tears gather in the corners of her eyes. They shone with hurt, but when she took another big breath, every inch of her radiated vulnerability.

Her bottom lip trembled and her voice quivered. “Will you look after me?”

An unneeded breath caught in his throat and he rolled off her, pulling her into a tight embrace. How he’d dreamed of such a moment, but at all of those times, he’d never thought of what it would mean. Buffy Summers, his strong and iron-hearted Slayer, letting down her guard and showing him the pure humanity at her very core.

“Oh, Buffy, I’ve always looked after you, pet.” He brushed his lips against her temple. “Please don’t cry, luv,” he murmured. “Does my heart in, it does. That night, when they brought you back, I told myself that I’d look after you, no matter what. That even though you might not want me there, I’d never leave your side. That summer, when you were gone, it was so hard, Buffy. I wanted to do right by you. I tried carrying on, I tried my best, but it was so hard without you. I tried to—”

She pulled away from his embrace suddenly. “I don’t want to be friends.”

He swallowed hard, blinking rapidly as his heart plummeted inside his chest. “...oh, well I—”

“I want to love you, Spike. I want to be in love with you.” She rested her forehead gently against his. “I want to be so, so in love with you.”

He gasped as an enormous sob thundered through his body. Cupping her cheek in his shaking hand he breathed against her lips, “I love you, Buffy.”

“I can’t keep hiding anymore. Can’t keep loving you in secret.”

They indulged in a deep, sensual kiss.

“No more secrets,” she whispered. “I love you, Spike.”

~

So that night they shared Buffy’s bed. The simple intimacy of the act was everything they’d been searching for, waiting for. With the moon high in the sky, he did exactly what she asked for. He slept by her side, holding her in his arms.

They slept together.

But as the moon moved away and the first of the sun’s rays peeked over the horizon, her legs twined their way back around his hips and together they heralded in their new beginning with pleasured exclamations of their love.


Fin~





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