Author's Chapter Notes:
As always thanks for the reviews. And here's the next chapter. :)
When Buffy and Spike arrived back on set from Buffy’s dressing room they both took a deep breath to clear their addled brains. The pair slinked into position on their marks as they tried to forget about the tension that sparked and crackled between them. It wasn’t easy but they had to be professionals about this…no matter how difficult that might prove.

Lindsey eyed the both of them with guarded suspicion, but he didn’t have the energy to confront them. If there was one thing he’d learned during his time directing the show, it was that it was much easier not to ask questions. Questions only dredged up awkward answers that you probably didn’t really want at all. He was happy to stay out of their personal issues as long as they could get the job done.

He moved forward with the clapperboard glancing at his two leads. “And…action!” announced the Texan, snapping the board down.

As soon as they heard the call, Buffy and Spike both slipped into the personas of their characters. But neither of them could deny the sizzling tension that still reigned supreme.

Jim smiled at his lover, a grin befitting of a cat that caught its canary.

“Mmm, we did it!” he grinned, holding up the almost grotesque diamond ring to the light to inspect their parry.

“We did. Kelly’s dead and we got the ring.” Shell grinned.

She moved closer to him, draping herself over his shoulders. Buffy’s insides were percolating as she felt his soft muscles ripple under his skin. Beads of sweat were bubbling up at the back of her neck. With professional detachment she sealed her lips to Spike’s. After all it wasn’t really her and Spike that were kissing. It was Jim and Shell.

The fictional characters just happening to be borrowing their bodies for the oh so incredibly hot…No! Not hot! For the…gross display of affection. Yes, gross.

Then why did his lips taste like home against hers?

Pulling back from the blond, Buffy steadied herself and quickly slipped back into character, ignoring her pervasive thoughts. “Did you like shooting her, Jimmy? Did you enjoy taking her life?”

Jim averted his eyes. “I did it for you, Shell. You asked me to do it and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You know that.”

“I do know, Jim. You’ve always been so malleable. I guess everything worked out, eh? Now, there’s just one other loose end to tie up.”

Shell pulled a pistol from her pocket and pointed it at Jim’s chest. His face twisted in shock as he realized what was going on.

“Give the ring to me, Jimmy,” she commanded him, her voice as hard as steel.

“Shell…don’t do this…”Buffy wasn’t sure that the begging in his voice was all Jim’s. She could hear pure Spike in his words and she had to force herself to deliver her next line.

“I’m only gonna ask one time. If you don’t give it to me, then I’m gonna paint a pretty picture on that wall with your brains. Your choice, baby.”

Knowing he had no other option, he steadied his breath and handed the ring to her, turning hurt puppy dog eyes to the ground as she grabbed the ring from his hand. With a triumphant smile, she slipped it onto her finger.

“You know I’m gonna come after you, Shell,” he warned her as she preened. He waved an angry fist at his one true love. “I won’t let you get away with stabbing me in the bloody back you little bitch.”

“Remember who’s holding the gun here, Jim,” she warned him, stopping his approach toward her. “I got all the power. And you got nothing.”

Shell removed the ring from her finger and pocketed it, tucking away firmly and keeping the gun aimed at her boyfriend the entire time.

“Now, let’s tie up that loose end.” She clicked the safety off the gun and steeled her nerves, visibly swallowing as she prepared herself.

“Shell, you don’t want to do this,” Jim pleaded with her again, keeping his eyes glued to the pistol pointed at him.

The slight shake of her hand was easily detectable but she merely waved the gun at him.

“Shut up!” Shell yelled. “Don’t you get it yet, Jim? Do you really not understand?”

“Understand what?” He threw his arms up in the air.

“The truth!” she spat at him. “You’ve always been a fool, blinded by love and oblivious to the truth. But you have to see it now!”

“And just what is the truth, pray tell?”

“I never loved you, Jim.” He flinched more wildly than if she’d shot him and Buffy realized that the flinch was part Jim but mostly Spike. The blond actor wasn’t hearing the character say those cruel words. He was hearing them from Buffy. She felt a twinge of regret but nevertheless, she persevered. “I never even cared for you. Sure, you were a good lay, but that’s where it ended. And seeing as I can find a good lay pretty much anywhere, it’s not worth keeping you around.”

“Don’t do this, Shell!” he pleaded. “I love you.” The irony of Spike delivering that line to her was not lost on either of the lovers.

“Love! Ha! Love is just a way to sell greetings cards, Jim. It’s not real. And I’m not about to throw away millions of dollars on you because of ‘love.’”

He narrowed his eyes. “So what are you going to do?”

“I’m leaving for Mexico tonight. I can sell this stupid rock when I get there and live like a Queen. I’d say I wish you could join me, but we both know that’d be a lie, don’t we?”

“You think you can just run away?” He ran a trembling hand through his hair. With a sigh he shook his head desperately when she nodded. “Money won’t keep you warm at night, Shell.”

“Neither did you.” She raised dark eyes to his and pulled the trigger of the gun. “I’m sorry, Jim. I really am, but sometimes ‘love’ is not worth the risk.”

A gunshot rang out in the air, and Jim went sprawling to the ground. A sticky, viscous red liquid gushed from the ‘wound’ like a fountain as the blood pack tucked under his shirt exploded. But Shell didn’t even bat an eye. Instead she smiled and stepped over his prone body.

“Goodbye, Jim,” she whispered. Her words were poignant on more than one level, and Buffy wondered, in spite of her character’s evil nature, just how much Shell resembled her. Both she and her fictional alter-ego were able to tear out a man’s heart without blinking at the blood on their hands.

With one final glance at her ex-lover, Shell stepped out of the room, leaving him to bleed out on the cold kitchen tile.

“Cut!” Lindsey yelled, a wide smile on his face. He couldn’t have asked for the scene to go better. They’d even gotten it all in one take, which was a rare achievement. Not only that, but the scene had crackled with sexual energy more fiercely than Pop Rocks and cola. Both his lead actors had redeemed themselves with that scene.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when she realized the scene was over. It was the last scene she had to film, which meant she was now free to leave. The tumult in her mind was reaching critical mass and she wanted to bolt like a spooked horse right now. That feeling strengthened when she saw Spike approaching her. However, his advance was halted when Lindsey called after him.

“Spike!” Lindsey shouted, stopping his pursuit of Buffy. “We still have to do the scene where the cops find you.”

Breathing a sigh of relief that Spike was detained, Buffy hightailed it out of there and into the hallway. She made it back to her dressing room in record time and surged into the room, slamming the door behind her.

“Phew!” she sighed, slinking over to her chair. She let her head drop wearily into the welcoming cradle of her hands. Glancing in the mirror she flashed herself a self deprecating smile.

This whole day wasn’t turning out well. Okay, it was more like her whole life wasn’t turning out well and she didn’t care if she was being melodramatic because she was an actress and it was her right goddamn it!

She idly wondered when it had all gone wrong and figured she could pin it all on Spike in some way or the other. At least she was pretty sure she could because it wasn’t as if he was exactly the most honest soul she’d ever met and lies always led to badness.

The man had even lied to her about them having sex. That wasn’t some small fib either! It was a flat out, full blown whopper of a lie. Unconsciously she ground her teeth in fury. He did have a propensity to lie but the man should have known that his deceit would get found out in the end.

It always did.

Leaning back in her chair she recalled the first time she’d uncovered Spike’s lies thanks to the smug face of one of her most irritating rivals.

Still on cloud nine after spending the previous evening with Spike, Buffy flounced out of Giles’ office the next morning with a large grin on her face.

Still buzzing from the high of their date sleep hadn’t exactly come easy the previous night but it hadn’t mattered because her head was filled with thoughts of the handsome blond. In all of her eighteen years she’d never experienced a kiss like the one that Spike had treated her to. It had stirred something in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t liken to any other sensation. It was fire and ice, air and water all at the same time and it made her head spin.

As she lay between the cool cotton sheets in her hotel bed, after sending him away from her door, she’d made the decision that she would give herself to Spike very soon.

Maybe even sooner that he realized.

The couple had made a date for tonight and she was thinking that tonight could be the night that they finally experienced each others’ bodies and souls. She could already envisage how spiritually beautiful it would be. Of course, she was looking forward to the orgasms too. The blonde blushed a deep red thinking of just what it would be like to climax while Spike was buried deep inside of her.

Buffy was so lost in her profound thoughts that she didn’t see the figure she collided with until they were both sprawled on the ground.

Scrambling to her feet Buffy came face to face with the narrowed brown eyes of Hollywood’s skankiest brunette.

Faith Lehane.

She and Faith had both graced the same screens when they were kids but while Buffy had blossomed into America’s beloved sweetheart, Faith was known for her gritty roles and even grittier personal life.

The last time Buffy saw her annoying fellow actress only a few days earlier, the voluptuous whore had been grinding up against a drunken Cordelia Chase. It was at the party where Buffy met Spike and the blonde couldn’t help but smugly congratulate herself on getting the better deal.

However, a more sober, yet no less slutty, version of Faith was staring at her with furious eyes and clenched fists right now and Buffy wondered whether to punch the girl first and run. She was rubbing a sore hip which she’d undoubtedly bumped in the collision.

Faith’s heaving chest, which was mostly exposed to view, rose and fell as she struggled to stand in her four inch heels. The dark haired girl smoothed down the front of her skirt, which could have been confused with a belt as she glared at her blonde counterpart.

However, as Faith studied Buffy her anger melted into amusement. Buffy fidgeted self consciously. “Well if it isn’t Miss Priss,” laughed Faith, eying the blonde actress with humor in her eyes.

There was something about Faith that radiated misplaced superiority and it immediately grated on the blonde’s fragile nerves. Buffy tugged at the hem of her ‘Cutie Pie’ T-shirt feeling a little exposed all of a sudden. She pursed her cotton candy glossed lips and squared her shoulders.

“Faith Lehane!” Buffy exclaimed distastefully. “What are you doing here? The last time I saw you, you were redefining stutdom with Cordelia Chase.”

“I’m here to see my boy, Rupes,” Faith responded.

“Rupes? Wait! Giles is your manager?” Buffy frowned. “I didn’t think he was one for dealing in skank.”

“Oh ho ho! You’re one to talk, Summers,” retorted Faith slyly dismissing Buffy’s question. “I saw you acting up at the Viper Room last night with your newest boytoy. Boy you two were hot!”

Buffy blushed but maintained eye contact with the curvy brunette. “So what if I was there with a guy?”

“I got nothing to say about it, B,” Faith giggled. “Just didn’t think you had it in you to date someone like… that.

“Like what?” Buffy inquired with genuine confusion.

Did Faith somehow know Spike? A shard of fear lodged in her chest at the thought that they might actually know each other. Faith had slept her way through her fair share of men in Hollywood so it wouldn’t surprise her. It would hurt though.

“I just didn’t figure you to be one that’s into the kink of Spike Pryce.” Faith shrugged and tossed her head.

“What kink?” Buffy question was hissed from between gritted teeth and Faith’s demeanor suddenly turned serious.

“You really don’t know?” Faith asked. Buffy shook her head. “Wow, B. Spike is pretty much the current star of the porn industry. Your boy’s about as hot as they get. I heard they nicknamed him ‘Golden Cock.’” She paused to snicker, finding herself on the receiving end of a scathing glare from Buffy. “I’ve seen some of that stuff and it’ll blow your balls, baby. I thought you’d have experienced it firsthand if you’re his new squeeze.”

Buffy gulped as she digested the information. Spike was a porn star, barely even hearing Faith’s final words. He was in porn. Spike made porn. What the fucking hell?

Sure, he’d told her was an actor but she thought he’d meant respectable acting, not whoring himself out for money. Her blood ran cold as she thought of this becoming common knowledge in the media. If Faith Lehane already knew about their tryst, then how long would it be before the whole world knew that Hollywood’s golden girl was dating porn’s…golden cock.

Her mouth hung open as the information swirled around her brain. She tried to deny it to herself but Faith wasn’t really smart enough to make up a scheme like that. She snapped her jaw closed and narrowed her own jade colored eyes.

“My dating life is none of your goddamn business, Faith. Why don’t you stick to worrying about your own men…all five hundred of them.”

“Ooh, jealous B?” Faith licked her crimson lips and placed a hand on her hip.

“Of you?” Buffy scoffed. “When I’m craving a bout of gonorrhea then I’ll be sure to be jealous of you, F.”

Faith glowered impotently but Buffy wasn’t in the mood to hear anything else from her. She pushed past the brunette and marched away from her, not pausing in her stride until she was outside in the open air. Buffy sucked in a deep breath, suddenly feeling like a heavy weight was sitting on her chest. The warm air did nothing to life the feeling as it oppressively taunted her.

To know that Spike had omitted such a vital fact really stung. Hell it was a deeper cut than just a sting. It was agony, like he’d ripped out her heart and replaced with it salt. Blinking back the tears she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and with shaking fingers scrolled through her list of numbers to locate Spike’s.

Putting the telephone next to her ear she listened to the ring. The blonde felt like she’d been submerged under water as she heard his barked, “Hello?”

“S-spike?” Buffy asked, clearing her clogged throat. Her heart was pounding relentlessly.

She could almost hear the smile that touched his lips when he realized it was Buffy. “Well, hello there Kitten,” he drawled, his voice instantly softening. “Now this is an unexpected surprise. I didn’t expect to hear from you until tonight. Missing me are you?”

“Uh, actually I need to see you. Can you meet me in like…twenty minutes?”

“Sure love,” he responded, a little confusion tinting the edges of his voice.

Knowing that this would be the last time she could see Spike ever again broke her heart but she steeled herself. She couldn’t stay with him. Not just because he was a porn star but because he hadn’t even told her about it.

And how could she ever be with a liar?”


A knock startled her from her memories but she relaxed again when Giles peeked his head around the dressing room door.

“Ready to go, Buffy?” he asked her. “The car is ready to escort us back to the hotel.”

Barely hearing her manager’s words she made eye contact with the haggard figure she saw reflected in the mirror in front of her. She wasn’t sure that she even knew the girl who stared back at her from the sanctuary of the mirror any longer.

Just as Shell tore out Jim’s heart, Buffy knew she’d done the exact same thing to Spike. The image of his forlorn face would be forever emblazoned on her brain.

Thinking about what had transpired during the last few days caused her immense physical pain though so it was easier just to put it to the back of her mind.

That was what she had to do. It was her duty. And no one could ever accuse Buffy Summers of shirking her duty.

Pulling her cap over her head and placing her sunglasses back on her face, she turned to Giles and followed him out to the parking lot where the limo was waiting for them.

Buffy was just about to climb into the car when she heard a high pitched girly voice calling her name. She spun around and found her arms suddenly filled with a panting Dawn.

“Oh my God!” the young brunette exclaimed. “I can’t believe you were gonna leave without saying goodbye to me.” She pouted and Buffy felt a little guilty.

“Sorry sweetie,” she said, stroking Dawn’s long shiny locks. “We were in a hurry. I got a flight to catch in a couple hours, so we had to rush off.”

“It’s okay. I just wanted to say goodbye and stuff before you go.” She grinned. “And also remember me if you hear about any huge movie or television roles for cute eighteen year old brunettes.”

Buffy returned her smile and nodded. “I promise that you will be my first and only thought. I’m gonna miss you, Dawn. You’re like the little sister I always wanted.”

She gave her new surrogate sister another hug, enjoying the innocent human contact. Glancing over the other girl’s shoulder, Buffy suddenly noticed something that started the butterflies a-fluttering in her stomach. Well, actually it wasn’t a something…more like a someone.

Spike Pryce was marching toward the two girls with a pointed gait. His trademark leather coat was billowing behind him in the light breeze. He looked like a comic book hero, complete with cape and Buffy’s breath lodged in her overly dry throat.

Damn it!

Buffy quickly drew back from the hug and lunged for the car. “I really gotta go Dawn,” she called apologetically. “I’ll call you, okay?”

She managed to slip into the limo just as Spike caught up with them, slamming the door firmly. Her eyes momentarily met Giles’ curious ones but she looked away when she suddenly felt even more self conscious than usual.

“Let’s get the hell outta here,” she whispered to no one in particular as the car moved away.

She could hear the sound of her name being called by a deep baritone British voice in back of her but she didn’t turn around, didn’t even flinch.

There was no point in turning around because she knew that there was nothing else that she could do except for leaving him behind her.

As she stared blankly out of the limousine’s tinted glass window, Buffy just wondered if a part of her heart was staying behind too.





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