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She probably shouldn't have done it.

Buffy realized this. She really did, but at the time, it certainly hadn't been a horrible idea. She was only curious, after all, which was normal under the circumstances... Okay, she'd been more than that. She'd been worried and upset.

So her mission had been dangerous, yes, but completely normal.

Her stress level had been just high enough for her to take part in a little... rebellion, should we say? Yes, that was a nice and fitting word.

Being a part of Spike's life meant being a part of the troubles and the successes. And Buffy knew he'd already agreed to let her help out with researching and stuff, but that wasn't enough.

Well okay, it was plenty. But yesterday, she hadn't really thought much through. You see, Thanksgiving was coming up.

Not a big deal, just a regular, annually celebrated holiday in the U.S., and she'd expected Grams to have something planned. Maybe a simple dinner at home, maybe gathering at a neighbor's house for the meal. The thought of spending a whole day and evening with people her Grams knew much better than she possibly could wasn't the most appealing of options for Thanksgiving dinner, but she wasn't going to complain. If it was what Grams wanted, then Buffy would smile and try to be courteous and have a nice time.

Sure enough, they were gathering at the home of Meg Stovall and her mother, some other friends were also invited. Anne said it shouldn't be more than ten people, aware of Buffy's disinterest in dealing with strangers. Of course, Grams knew she was a waitress now, too, so she didn't seem too concerned. And Buffy wasn't about to worry Anne with her OWN worries about whether people might bring up the recent deaths in the Summers family.

One thing Buffy did not want was to burst into tears in the middle of dinner. It was the first real holiday since her mom and grandpa had died. Joyce always made a lovely spread for Thanksgiving and Buffy didn't need to think about that. It was going to be hard enough.

She was afraid it was going to feel hollow.

Which was probably why she wanted to ask Spike to come with her.

And immediate "No" was what she expected. And so between that knowledge, the upcoming holiday, missing her mom and grandfather more than anything, and dinner being held at the home of the kind, albeit chatty woman she'd met at Mama Leann’s, Buffy was not in the best mood.

She wasn't angry or temperamental, exactly, when she arrived at Spike's after work. On edge and emotional might have been more accurate words.

Buffy was tightlipped, her mind as blank as she could make it to refrain from worrying about things. She hated feeling numb-ish, it'd been so long. Yet today she was grateful all the same. She yearned to delve into a book, read something and forget the world as she often did. But she was expected at Spike's and she wanted to ask him if he'd go to dinner. She also didn't want to ask him.

She needed to avoid unwelcome feelings every time she remembered her usual Thanksgivings with mom and Papa. Joyce was cooking, grandpa was watching a football game with a couple of his friends who sometimes joined them for the dinner. There was always pecan pie, the best stuffing in the world, a perfectly cooked turkey, and sweet potatoes baked with mini marshmallows. And her mom often invited a friend or two from the neighborhood if she knew they had nowhere else to be.

The table had always been full, and Buffy didn't want to think about all of the things that wouldn't happen again. How she wouldn't hear her grandfather yelling at the television, or mom rushing to get everything done on time. The smells were always the same, with the same recipes and the same foods offered up, and the same prayer her Papa used to insist they say before eating.

It wouldn't be the same now. Grams was the only thing stopping her from ignoring the holiday altogether.

Buffy's throat was tight as she closed Spike's front door and quickly threw a wall down, between herself and the rest of the world; she was shutting off her mind except to do the necessary things like walk and breathe.

Being closed off, she idly realized that she hadn't been so in a long while. The feeling was suddenly foreign, when before it had been so familiar.

Her thoughts were interrupted. Rex came straight up to her from the kitchen, his face inscrutable. "Where's the milk?" he asked gruffly.

Buffy shook her head. "I would assume in the fridge."

"I looked there."

"Then we're out?" she offered as explanation, thinking he seemed a little on edge about a dairy product.

"Damn it." He turned away and headed back to the kitchen, grumbling loud enough for her to hear as she followed him. "She won't stop meowing and refuses to eat normal fucking food."

Buffy rose an eyebrow, but before she could ask the obvious question, she entered the kitchen and saw Princess on the island countertop, three bowls of different kitty edibles before her. She meowed as soon as Buffy and Rex cleared the doorway, then meowed again. And again.

Buffy understood pretty quickly. "She won't eat?"

"No," he replied, "the little brat just kept scratching at an empty container of that stupid powder used to make her milk before I tossed it. And she won't eat anything I set out for her."

Buffy almost felt bad for Rex, he looked so put out. She approached the still meowing kitty and saw the three bowls had things ranging from chicken shaped treats to wet cat food, to bits of cooked hamburger meat. All untouched.

She went to the cabinet where she knew Spike kept the things for the feline, and when she saw only cat food cans, she sighed and grabbed a stool. She knelt on it and moved the cans out of her way to see to the back... where a brand new container of kitten formula sat. She grabbed it and then went about mixing some up for the feline; her silence was statement enough for Rex.

Buffy mentally shrugged. At least he'd tried.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, finally breaking the quiet in the room as Buffy brought the full bowl over to Princess, who happily started lapping up the creamy liquid. "This is why I don't own a fucking pet."

Instead of a snarky comment, or scold of any sort, Buffy just hummed in verification that she had heard him. There was quiet again.

Then she realized that it was too quiet. Rex never fed the feline of the house, but no one else was around to do it which was why he must be stuck with the job. "Where is everyone?"

Rex looked like he resisted an urge to roll his eyes, agitation clear on his face as he said, "Dru called in with a lead. A vision sayin something about a witch being involved with this Gem crap, and then a location on where some of her lackeys were going to be tonight."

Immediately Buffy asked, "Where?"

Rex seemed a little surprised then, either at her urgent tone or at the question, she wasn't sure. "A demon bar, 'bout fifteen minutes drive from here." He released a sigh full of irritation. "I was left behind so you wouldn't meet with an empty house. Spike was adamant someone stay here, and under some screwed kind of luck, I was asleep when they left. Until the cat woke me up."

Buffy idly thought it admirable he hadn't strangled Princess for that, but didn't give another moment to the thought before asking, "Then how do you know where they went?"

"I called Ace's cell phone and asked."

Buffy's heart started to beat out of sequence; her head fogged. Spike was gone and might be fighting. She wasn't there. Rex wasn't either, which was one less person guarding his back.

An abrupt sense of something uncomfortably close to desperation ran straight through her. Her mood changed from blocked off to pinpointed. Buffy had to get to Spike. She wasn't entirely clear why, her brain was suddenly one tracked, and she needed to be sure he was okay. She needed to help him, protect him. He wasn't here to touch or see, he was gone, and wherever he was she needed to get there. She couldn't lose him, too

Buffy caught Rex's gaze, hers penetrating in a way that the thunderbird had never seen before . "Take me there."

He frowned, and didn't pretend not to understand her. "That isn't a good idea."

She grabbed his arm, her grip wasn't strong enough to hurt him, of course, but it was hard and demanding and he felt it. "Take me to him, Rex. If you won't then I'll find a way there on my own and call Ace until his phone breaks."

Rex scowled down at her. "I don't even have a car to get you there."

She frowned hard in response to that. Grams didn't have a car, and neither did Buffy; with MayBell being so small they didn't really need one.

But now it seemed Buffy seriously needed one.

None of the guys had brought cars with them when they'd arrived in town, but had taken cabs from the airport. While Rex...

"You can fly, right?" she asked abruptly.

It was strange and maybe a little funny to see Rex look wary. "Yes. Why?"

Buffy smiled. "Ever have a passenger before?"

***

She swore she was going to die.

Buffy was terrified out of her fucking mind and she was actually thinking that maybe this hadn't been the best idea, being held like a fragile egg in the talons of a giant bird and flying to her boyfriend's side, all out of a seriously desperate need she couldn't understand.

But she didn't regret it.

Even as the wind hit her face and the yellow moon looked closer than she had ever seen it, with the air cold and the feeling of concrete solid claws her only support in the midst of the sky, she would not have taken this choice back. She had to see Spike and be sure he was okay, and all the threatening and all the ordering she'd given Rex had been worth it, too.

It would be a crime to say that the thunderbird had agreed to this eccentric way of travel easily. No car, only an address and the hard and unrelenting worry fraying her nerves, it had been a risky and strange decision for sure, but it was her only option. Buffy had begged and fought and threatened tears to get Rex to agree.

A five minute flight wasn't long, but it felt anything but quick. She had a feeling he was going much, much slower than he could, being cautious while carrying her. Buffy was grateful.

And now she owed him several T-bones from Leonard's, and herself as a human shield once Spike went for his throat.

She'd told Rex she didn't think Spike would do that. Rex had scoffed.

Her eyes had bulged right out of her head when he'd changed. In his animal form he was taller than Spike's house, feathers and all, a sight to behold. Though a lot of people might've fainted right after doing so.

Not only didn't Buffy have that luxury, but she'd had to climb up into the clutches of the thunderbird, who, before actually seeing him in his full glory, she hadn't known she'd doubted.

She wasn't doubting now.

And Rex still wasn't happy with her. It was too bad, but not only couldn't she back out after seeing him change with an excuse of "Oh, sorry, I'm terrified of you," because her pride wouldn't allow it and it'd be rude, but it felt like Spike's absence was literally pulling her to him. If that made any sense.

She had to be sure he was okay. Buffy didn't quite know where this need had suddenly come from, considering Spike had gone out to "get information" several times before while she'd stayed home. But amidst the earlier frail numbness, her worry stood out like a spotlight, slowly melting every other concern in shadow.

She just needed to get to Spike.

The wind beat on the feathers around her, and as soft as it could be, a screech was released from the creature's throat to reverberate around them. Buffy flinched and clutched at the thick leg she'd been holding on to for the ride, but still managed to understand that Rex must be warning her they were about to land.

In pure confirmation, the thunderbird descended, his
heavy wings beating the air with almost gallant strikes. He aimed carefully for a spot to touchdown, and as they got closer and closer to the ground, Buffy's eyes closed more and more until she was finally blind to the things around her.

She felt the shake of his leg, and she looked up and then down, realizing belatedly he would have to drop her before landing himself. Buffy gulped, and grabbed his leg tighter before loosening her death grip as the ground came ever closer. She knew this was going to be a tricky drop, and an even trickier feat for him.

Rex got her fifty feet from the ground, then twenty... fifteen... ten...

Release.

She didn't scream but let out something more like a yelp, though it wasn't all that loud. She hit the soft dirt on all fours and made an "mmph" sound, then breathed out an almost gasping exhalation of breath.

She was alive. Now she just had to make sure Spike was, too. Rex was still in flight, and she couldn't see any buildings nearby, so she assumed he must have parked here because the demon bar was within walking distance. She saw him slowly descending once again, and this time he let his big talons hit the ground and scar it, pulling in his wings and halting with the grace of a creature born to flight.

He changed immediately, and Buffy turned around without delay. She dug into her bag and retrieved his clothes, tossing them behind her; first pants, then shirt, shoes, and socks.

"I really wish there was a way you could keep your clothes on when you're flying," she said awkwardly, her face flushing. She felt very out of place. "How exactly did you land at Spike's without any clothes on? Did you just walk naked to his front door?" She could only imagine the jibes received from an entrance like THAT.

"There's a spell I use, it's simple and effective. But it takes longer than you were willing to wait, so no, I didn't wind up at Spike's with my ass hanging out. I had fucking time to fix that glitch."

Buffy swallowed and turned back around when she heard the angry yank of a zipper. "Well thank you for flying me here." She frowned as he tossed on his shoes and socks. Looking around she asked, "Where are we?"

He grunted something and stood straight, pointing in the direction of dark forest. "Bar's that way, I can hear it from here. And I saw it when we were in flight."

"I didn't."

He started walking in the direction he'd pointed. "Maybe because your eyes were sealed shut for most of the ride."

Buffy bit her lip then followed, not bothering to deny it. Though she still didn't know how he could have possibly noticed.

Fifteen minutes passed while they walked in the dark. Buffy's eyes had adjusted enough to see Rex directly in front of her, but that was all the directional help she had. Stumbling over uneven ground and rocks became normal enough that she no longer noticed it. What she did notice was the strain wearing on her nerves.

Every time she asked if they were close, Rex would respond in the same way: "We're getting there."

Well duh! They had to be "getting there" even at this snail-like rate.

Buffy sighed. Okay, so she was getting more and more worried about Spike the longer it took to get to him, but this was better than waiting like a bump on a log back at home.

Maybe the anxious need she had to reassure herself that he was okay was intuition, maybe it was just nerves, or maybe it was the stress and grief trying to lay themselves on her shoulders as of recently. Buffy wasn't sure, but she did know that until she saw Spike, nothing would feel right tonight.

Then she saw him, and her heart split into a reckless, broken beat.

His face was morphed and his fists were pounding into the body of a man wielding an axe. Buffy's breath caught as Spike shoved his opponent to the ground and whipped up the axe, severing the man's head.

The man turned to dust, and Rex suddenly pulled her to the side and behind him, and then Buffy saw the whole picture before her.

She had zeroed in on Spike the second she and Rex had reached the clearing that served as a parking lot for the demon bar, which still sounded with music and the noise of customers.

Fifteen of whom were currently in a battle out front of the place.

Spike, Ace, Dylan, Stevo, and Blake were up against what looked like ten opponents, and action was everywhere.

"Stay back!"

She heard Rex vaguely beneath the drumming in her ears. It wasn't her heeding his order which kept her silent and behind him, but the shock she felt in her bones. Dylan was green and spiky, and he was landing punch after punch to a man-

Wrong. They were all vampires.

She heard Spike growl and watched him speed to where Ace had three coming for his throat with axes and a small dagger. Buffy knew that both Ace and Blake were immortal, but enough wounds and they could die the same as any human- Especially due to blood loss for Blake.

She flinched and bit her lip to stop a gasp when Rex broke off a branch from a nearby tree, and quickly plunged it into the chest of a vampire who'd run past, evidently headed toward where Stevo already had two others to deal with. Buffy swallowed hard and told herself to stay calm.

She'd wanted to see if Spike was okay. Well, she'd gotten her wish, and he was decidedly NOT okay.

Oh sure, her vampire was beating the crap out of the enemies around him, turning many to dust with lethal efficiency, but he seemed to not want all of the vampires dead. The guys and him were outnumbered. Buffy wasn't sure if it helped that she'd come here with Rex, because although he was one more warrior for the battle, he was also stuck guarding her.

She just hoped Spike didn't notice her and lose focus. Not until after his enemies were dust in the wind.

Buffy looked to where she heard a yowl, and quickly witnessed Ace and Blake dispose of two more vamps. Then Dylan had beheaded another. Stevo two more.

There were four left. Spike took on one and Ace and Blake headed after another that bolted for the cover of the forest. Dylan and Stevo were already fighting with their own two opponents. The battle looked to be over.

Then suddenly, Rex spotted five vampires running in their direction, and hauled her behind him yet again.

"Keep the hell down!"

Buffy saw the five split up- Two headed towards her and Rex. She looked around her and saw a thick leafless branch on the ground, and picked it up then held it at the ready. Of course, she didn't exactly know what the ready was, only to aim for a heart.

She didn't know how hard it might be to plunge a pointy stick into a dead monster's chest either, but she was willing to try.

"There might be more," Rex said as he quickly dusted the two vampires who had been headed for them, and looked back, "Grab something sharp and wooden right now- Oh." He took note of the branch in her shaking hand. "Good. If something happened to you Spike would- Motherfucker!"

The exclamation was enough to alert Buffy to the sudden presence of yet ten more vampires. It seemed the one that had run from Ace and Blake had gone to alert some friends of his to the trouble.

Buffy gulped when Rex got about ten feet from where she stood, and suddenly, she hated a few things with bright fury. Herself, for getting into this mess. Spike, for not teaching her anything about fighting when she knew how much he enjoyed it. And ALL six of the irritating men she had come to care about, for dropping into a fight like this without so much as gathering weapons. The only ones she noticed were those of fallen vamps. Her supernatural idiots were all lucky they hadn't gotten killed with those before they could steal them!

Rex was in front of her again, and Stevo and Ace had finally noticed his presence. Then they noticed her presence.

Equal looks of shock ran over their faces, but changed quickly to surprise as some vampires got the jump on them because of their distraction. Buffy winced. Then Dylan saw her, and his red eyes bulged. He staked two vampires in a blur and ran to her and Rex, punching and staking another vampire on the way.

When he reached them his eyes were angry. Buffy had never seen Dylan angry before. It was startling. "What are you doing here-" he addressed Rex, "What the hell is SHE doing here?!"

The thunderbird ignored the question, and irritably remarked, "You think maybe you guys could've come more prepared for this shit?!" He waved his hand at the chaos before them.

"There's always the threat of a fight, of course we came prepared! But the weapons are in the car and we didn't know there'd be this many." Dylan looked behind him, cursing softly as several more vamps appeared as if out of thin air. "Why did you bring Buffy here?!"

"I wouldn't have brought her if I'd known it was going to be like this!"

"You shouldn't have brought her anyway!"

"You try arguing with her!"

Buffy sighed loudly. "I'm right here!" she shouted, tired of being talked about like she wasn't standing a foot away from the morons. "I made Rex fly me here, Dylan! I had to see if Spike-" She turned in time to see a vamp about to lunge from Rex's left, and pointed with a warning shout.

Rex quickly staked and dusted, then said to Dylan, "I'll watch her, just get back out there!"

Dylan did, with a grumble and another curse. Buffy sighed. The vampires finally seemed to be dwindling. Three went to run for it but Stevo caught two and Blake lit another one's coat on fire with a lighter. Buffy figured he must've been soaked with alcohol or something because he went up in less than five seconds and down in ten.

Rex ran forward only three feet to catch a female vampire off guard and stake her, then he was back in front of Buffy as her shield. She felt like both a burden and an idiot. The only useful thing she'd done in showing up here was supplying Rex, and he was only so much help while standing in one corner. Spike and Blake hadn't noticed their presence yet- Wait, Blake just did. Buffy was only thankful that her boyfriend hadn't-

Oh no.

No, no, no.

She didn't have a thought of hesitation. She didn't have a thought. And fortunately enough, Rex moved forward another couple of feet to fight with a knife wielding opponent, so Buffy had an opportunity to run.

The others were all busy. They didn't see. And Spike already had two vamps in front of him, and though he seemed to be reveling in the fight, there was a third at his back. It was sneaking up in slow, creeping movements. Almost invisible against the trees. All Buffy could see was a crouched over form and a sharp pointy thing in its right hand.

She ran lightly and fast, not knowing if she would succeed but needing to try. That vampire had Spike's name on his death list All it took on a battlefield like this was one unlucky moment and anyone could be killed in a blink.

Buffy didn't plan on letting that happen to Spike.

Of course, she didn't plan at all, just ran. Idly she remembered a saying she'd learned in the past: Act, don't react.

Well, she was acting alright. Hopefully the odds would be in Spike's favor, and that would be enough.

The least she could do, she realized as she got within five feet of the enemy, was cause distraction. Spike should have time to notice the situation then. She had her makeshift stake and she had her fear, but she lunged with all of her weight and managed to knock the vampire to the ground.

She'd hit him in the back and he'd toppled. She realized that his leg was wounded, and thanked whoever was listening for small miracles. The thing started growling, and she grunted and squeezed around his neck as hard as she could. Even knowing that vampires didn't need air, Buffy hoped it would at least cause some serious discomfort.

It didn't. The vampire flipped her on her back and almost knocked the wind out of her with the force of it. She gasped and the creature looked down at her in surprise. Then it sneered in a way that made her skin crawl. Instinctively Buffy kneed and kicked, landing by pure luck a good shot to his groin. The vampire growled again and stuck his hand around her throat. Evidently, they weren't as sensitive as human men down there.

Buffy flexed her fingers. No makeshift stake. She used a hand to claw fiercely at the larger one around her throat, her nails digging and scraping flesh. The vampire's breath stunk; she cringed but still breathed as little as she could. Then all air passage stopped. She clawed harder and desperately groped for her branch.

She kicked and wriggled, feeling the dig of
something into her thigh- Her stake! She grappled for it as darkness started to impend on her vision, from the outside in. She wrapped her fingers around the wood and swung up, making sharp contact with the vampire's stomach. Then, not thinking, not aiming, Buffy pulled her weapon from the shallow wound she'd caused and swung directly above herself.

She inhaled dust a moment later, when the grip around her throat disappeared. She coughed and wheezed unattractively, then tried to sit up. Only clear air met her lungs but she exhaled painfully. She was thankful for the ability to breathe even if the effort did hurt a little. The atmosphere was much more quiet than it had been with the blood rushing in her ears, and if she thought on it long enough, she'd notice the lack of fists pummeling flesh.

Buffy inhaled deeply again, swallowing painfully, then got to her feet.

She didn't make it that far. Spike swept her off her balance, and into the strength of his arms. Her shoulders in his grip and her legs limp, he supported her. Breast to chest.

Amber really shouldn't be so startling a color, but Buffy's heart started to beat fitfully as if she were choking again when she saw his eyes.

His lip was bleeding and there was a scratch on his neck, but she didn't see any major damage. She knew that there had to be more beneath the clothes, and was both loathe to look and was trying to refrain from demanding to see. She wanted to check for serious bleeding and know if those bruised ribs were hurt once again.

His T-shirt seemed dry, though, and there was no telltale drip of burgundy running down his body. He looked just fine asides from being a little out of breath and utterly pissed off.

It didn't take longer than a second for him to rail on her.

"Are you alright?!" His hands gripped her face as he stared at her with acute examination. Okay, not exactly railing, but Buffy suspected it would come soon enough. She nodded and went to speak, only to come out raspy and near silent. She cringed. Damn her throat hurt.

Spike's eyes stormed with something murderous when he looked at her neck. In direct contrast to his mood, he touched her very softly and seemed to trace something. His jaw worked. "He was choking you."

Buffy opened her mouth to speak, only to wince again and then nod instead. Spike's nostrils flared. He took one of her hands, gripped it tightly and linked their fingers, then pressed his forehead to hers. She wasn't quite sure whether he was just trying to be closer or if he was trying to control his anger. Maybe both. He seemed like he wanted to hold her forever but at the same time his words came out harsh, "Why the bloody hell are you here?"

She opened her mouth yet again, then snapped it shut. Well this was irritating. She scowled and poked him in the chest, hard. Then again, focusing on the area where his heart was. She tried to convey that she had been worried about him with facial expression. Her eyes widened and her mouth softened in fret.

Spike seemed to get it, and she noticed him grind his teeth. "Rex was s'posed to tell you-" He cut himself off, sudden anger flashing again in those bright eyes. "He brought you here- No wait. You TOLD him to bring you here, didn't you." It wasn't a question.

Buffy nodded.

Spike was going to break his friend's jaw.
His own threatened to lock up permanently. He sucked in a breath and counted to three, then let it out in a huff.

Nope. He was still stretched to his limit, and panic had yet to die out.

He could vividly remember the moment when he'd realized Buffy was close by. One vampire down and another in front of him, the bastard too tired to keep going for long, Spike had paused when he sensed her. Heard her gasp, a grunt. His eyes found her with a vampire sitting astride her body and fangs barred, a look of hunger on the demon's face. Spike received a kick to the jaw for being distracted. His fight had renewed with his opponent, while his girlfriend dealt with her own.

Desperation couldn't even be the word for what had run through him. He'd disposed of the vamp he was fighting in mere seconds and was less than one from turning in Buffy's direction when he was pounced on from the right. Again, a fight had begun, and while he swung fists and tried to throw his attacker away from him, the bastard wouldn't let up. He was huge and strong and while Spike had won in the end, the fight had been enough to delay him and fry his nerves.

He was at a dead run before the dust even cleared. And he saw his girl stake her first vamp and cough away ash particles. When she stood up all he wanted to do was grab Buffy, go home, and personally make sure she was alright.

Then he'd discovered her voiceless and yes, her throat was bruising. He knew of a little magick salve Stevo could mix up for her to help it heal and a tea that would soothe the inside, but Spike wasn't in the least relieved. A vampire had almost strangled her to death. If he didn't, then she would've been either captured and used as a human bloodbag for a while, or simply drained dry while lying half-conscious. There were other, worse scenarios that the bastard could've had in mind, but Spike refused to think about them.

Thank God she was a tough little thing. She'd staked the vamp singlehandedly, and though Spike wasn't calm enough at the moment to truly take note of it, he was proud underneath all the worry and fear. All the anger.

The silly chit had made Rex bring her here because she was worried about him. True, the fight had turned out to be much bigger than expected, but even so, they would've been fine. Thirty or so vamps was a challenge but it was conquered by ways of experience and teamwork. Buffy hadn't known that.

Spike sighed, clenching his fingers in her hair and pulling her body closer. "Once we get something soothin down that throat f'yours, I'm going to kill you."

Her eyes widened indignantly. She glared and opened her mouth to hoarsely, and obviously with pain, say, "I was worried about you-!"

"And you almost got yerself killed," he growled, "I've handled worse than the witless lot we got tonight." He rubbed his thumb over her neck. "Dealin with sods comin for my throat is what I do. But not you. Now you've got bruises to prove it."

Her temper rose. Even with her voice nearly gone and every word laced with agony as she spoke, Buffy still said, "The one *I* staked was coming for your back. Did you even see him?"

Spike remembered vaguely catching something out of the corner of his eye, then being distracted by the two vampires in front of him. He probably hadn't been very aware of the one behind him, but chances were he would've been before the bastard had the opportunity to plunge a stake through his chest.

At least now he knew why Buffy had thrown herself into the fray. It was for him. He'd almost gotten her killed.

Christ, he was going to throttle her when they got home.

Spike swallowed hard and looked at her neck again. Maybe "throttle" was the wrong word choice.

His voice was strained when he answered her last question. "I would've caught him 'fore he could do anythin."

"You don't know that!" she rasped.

"But I do know that you were nearly killed!" he raged, his control slipping. His eyes burned into her with the heat of two hot coals and he couldn't have retracted his game face if he'd tried. "I'm already damned, probly a hundred times over. An I'll be thrown at the foot of the soddin pearly gates 'fore I let you hurt yourself!"

Buffy swallowed hard and grit her teeth, ignoring the tight rawness of her throat. She couldn't fight anymore with her vocals, but she would say one more thing and he would hear her. She stepped closer and raised her chin high. "Too 'soddin' bad, Spike, because that's not your choice."

His eyes filled with angry refusal, his jaw hardened and his body tensed. "You're not gonna get hurt because f'me."

She heard the adamant denial in his words, sensed the barely discernible ache of fear in his voice, and walked away with lasting resolve in her eye. She felt bad for that, hurt by his own worries, but she wasn't going to promise him to always be protected and never protect. It wasn't in her. It wasn't how she could possibly act concerning those she cared about and loved.

She had not before been excessively scared every time Spike went out to fight other demons, or threaten someone who could be dangerous, but now she was much more wary. He was a good fighter, almost graceful while still deadly, and she knew she couldn't be there every time he fought. But Buffy wouldn't hide behind the weakness of being human, and she wouldn't apologize for what she'd done tonight.

Her fear for Spike had never been so high. It had been random, to suddenly NEED to be sure he was alright even though she knew the guys were with him, but Buffy was still glad she'd followed that need. Even if her throat was sore.

____________________
END NOTES: Thanks for reading and reviewing guys! Please continue to do so! *major hugs!*





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