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"I shoulda told you what I was right after you... After I knew what was keepin you locked away from me. S'only fair you know the person who's keepin your secrets, eh love?"

This he told her as they sat in the living room, Buffy sipping at a cup of over sweetened tea loaded with healing herbs whose names she could barely pronounce. Spike was beside her, wearing new clothes and holding a small tub of yellow salve. His lips moved over words of confession, his eyes warm on her face as he treated her, and refused to let her talk.

Buffy still managed to slip a word in once in a while, but mostly she just sat, drank, and allowed Spike to cake medicinal goo onto her throat.

She wasn't really complaining. After trudging back home with him, she had been almost too tired to take a hot shower. That idea had quickly changed to a nice, warm bath, and Spike came in at the end of it to lift her from the tub himself.

He was being ridiculously caring, and had been speaking somewhat apologetically ever since they'd walked through the door. She'd said she was sorry for running and had tried explaining why she'd done so; Spike hadn't let her get far before she'd been shushed.

And arguing wasn't easy, though she tried to make herself heard. Spike had only told her he loved her again. She was allowed to speak only long enough to tell him she loved him too, then he'd threatened to duct tape her mouth.

Buffy knew he was only trying to make sure her throat healed, at this point it had taken quite a beating. But judging by the tingly feeling she got from the tea, and the inordinate amount of gunk on her neck, it should heal quickly. Being silent in a house like this was irritating to say the least, so it better.

Spike looked at her in question, and Buffy realized she'd gotten lost in her thoughts. She smiled softly as she recalled his last words, and then wider when he returned the look. "Though you might not have stuck around," he added, "if you'd seen my fangs so early on. And I wouldn'a blamed you."

Blake suddenly came in from the kitchen before she could respond, a steaming mug clasped in his hands. He approached them and gave the cup to Spike, who then proceeded to offer it to Buffy. She shook her head and tilted the one in her hands a little to show she wasn't yet done with her third dose of Stevo's herbal remedy; Spike set the fourth down on a table. It was amazing she hadn't needed to go to the bathroom yet.

Blake took a seat on the mattress at their feet, watching curiously as Spike brushed another thumb coated with salve across a bruise on her neck. Buffy dutifully craned, then took another sip of her tea when Blake asked Spike how long the concoction of medical treatments should take to heal her. She smiled behind her cup when Spike said hopefully no more than a day.

That would be nice. The drink she was ingesting had to be either bitter, or bitterly sweet; there were no other options. And the salve on her skin didn't exactly feel all that great, it smelled funny and was very sticky. She'd be relieved once she was back to normal.

Now if only she could get her boyfriend back to normal...

She watched tension build in Spike's shoulders while Blake simply talked. The guys hadn't asked her what had happened to make her run out in tears before, and she assumed that Spike had been clearing some things up for them while she'd been bathing. No one asked her any questions that weren't somehow related to her throat condition, mostly just offered different things like snacks, or runs out to the grocery store.

Spike's attitude wasn't easily explainable. They were both safe, both dry, maybe a little tired, too, but altogether well. The only trouble they'd had since the river was when Buffy realized she didn't have any clothes to wear after being carried out of the bathtub; one of Spike's T-shirts and an old pair of sweats had been the simple fix.

Now she was looking at her vampire who seemed ready to pop. His body was tightly drawn, and his jaw clenched even while he conversed with his friend. She didn't know what was wrong.

"Blake?"

The empath turned when she interjected, and Buffy was acutely aware of Spike's eyes on her, as well. She swallowed, grateful she hadn't been reprimanded for using her croaky voice.

"What is it, dollface?"

"What is Spike feeling right now?"

The question got her two shocked superbeings, which wasn't a surprise. Buffy still knew she'd get her answer, too.

Blake rose an eyebrow, glanced at Spike beside her, then accommodated. "Well-"

"Can it, Blake."

"Now Spike," the empath chided, "she asked a question, and I never let any woman go wanting." He winked, and continued. "Fangy here is feeling rather territorial again. He's just bursting at the seams to kidnap you and run to the ends of the earth." Abruptly, he sent an accusatory look the vampire's way. "It's been a bitch to ignore you, by the way."

Spike felt a growl welling up in his throat. "Blake..."

Buffy touched his hand, cutting off any threat. The look she sent had him quieting, the one she gave Blake had the empath leaving the room with an understanding nod.

Buffy released a sigh, and looked at her boyfriend again, setting down her empty mug and scooting closer. She titled her head, her eyes patient but expectant.

Spike just stared at her. "I'm not ashamed, Buffy," he started off, "I want you safe. It's the most important thing in the world to me that-... that you are. And..." He scoffed softly. "If I hadn't let you run off, this wouldn'a happened."

She grabbed the sides of his face so fast, and forced his gaze to meet hers. Buffy shook her head with a scowl, and then croaked, "It wasn't you fault."

He looked at her with a self depreciating glint in his eyes. His nostrils flared once. "I didn't stop you from leavin-"

"*I* ran." Steel coated her voice, fierce order in her hazel green eyes. "You came after me."

"An I was almost too late," he replied angrily.

"But you didn't push me!"

Buffy froze after she said it, nearly shouted it. She had forgotten about her half-made theory. The sensation of being shoved down the riverbank... She'd lost any coherence when she was in the water, and then had been too preoccupied with relief and happiness and exhaustion afterwards to think on much else. But now, as Spike stared at her with new, sharp focus, she realized- remembered. And her confession was very, very true.

Someone had pushed her, nudged, shoved- Whatever. Someone had wanted to kill her, and they had almost succeeded.

*Spike is going to explode.*

***

He did.

Violently. A couple pieces of furniture were lost.

Buffy had retreated to his bedroom after being interrogated. Strangely, not just by Spike.

As a matter of fact, he'd only asked her if she was sure before gathering the fury and fear necessary for shattering two wooden chairs into bits and then tossing the pieces into the fireplace. After that, the others had come in to figure out what was happening. Then, of course, came the explanation, followed by many, many questions.

What had she seen, did she remember a face, a voice- Anything at all besides a blur of movement and the slight pressure that had been needed to get her into the river?

Her answer was simply no, and that didn't calm anyone down.

The guys had all vacated the kitchen and moved into the living room next. Dylan getting on his computer to look up God knows what, Stevo and Ace still interrogating, Rex fuming in the corner, Blake trying to calm Spike.

"It was Flora, that vindictive bitch. I'm going to-"

"Spike, I know you think it was her-"

"It was!"

"-but you can't be sure." Blake groaned when his friend's demon face came up. "Will you try and control yourself? I know you're all ready to nail her to a wall and try out hundreds of torture methods but-"

"And invent new ones," the vampire growled.

"Spike, you can't do anything if you don't know where she is. You don't even know if she did it!"

"It HAS to be her! If it isn't then there's another threat none of us know about, and this time it's directed at Buffy!"

The room fell silent for five dead seconds. Then, Spike stormed out. He headed towards the Serene Room, Buffy believed, but she didn't have a choice in whether or not she went after him because she was bogged down by questions again. Dylan started looking up demon hangouts that just happened to have websites, places they might be able to find somebody who could provide information on Flora's whereabouts.

Not many in the group seemed to think it was anything else, Flora looked like the most likely suspect. Buffy only wished that Stevo was as positive as the others. She knew Spike was unsure, though he loathed to be, but that had more to do with his protectiveness than any severe suspicion. Stevo, on the other hand, was Mr. Logical, and he too was uncertain.

It made her nervous. Flora as the culprit was both reasonable and had a simple explanation. A new threat, though, added complications.

Buffy retreated to Spike's bedroom on a claim of fatigue. She got several offers to help her up the stairs, to which she'd tried not to laugh but declined with kindness.

Now she lay in Spike's bed, missing him even though she could virtually feel his agitated presence in the house. Somehow, she didn't doubt that it would take no more than a second for her to realize he had left should he step outside.

Buffy let out a long sigh, and welcomed the weighty sensation in her eyelids. She needed rest; no more worries, just for a little while.

And she prayed to whoever listened for the safety of her family, the dead and the living.

***

Spike fingered a smooth flower petal. He didn't know where she'd gotten the blooms, had no idea what they were called, but at some point Buffy had filled some vases.

The flowers were just starting to wilt, so it couldn't have been too long ago. Colors of deep purple and orange, pink and green, made the room that more inviting, more homey. The curtains were closed, three vases displaying pretty foliage, and there wasn't any dust.

He wasn't sure if he could thank Buffy or Ace for that. The latter had a thing about neatness sometimes, especially if the area had started out that way when he'd first seen it. Buffy, however, had taken a liking to
this room, Spike knew. Perhaps that was why he'd come here in an effort to calm down.

He admitted he had lost his head before, fangs bursting and two nice chairs turned into kindling. He also didn't care.

The idea of Buffy dying... It made him flinch away from unseen things. Made his gut ache. The fact someone had tried to kill her... to take her from him...

Spike unclenched his fist very slowly, and breathed in, then out; his jaw was tight. There was nothing that could send him over the edge faster than something coming after Buffy. If she hadn't met him, gotten involved with someone who had enemies everywhere, she would be safe. She wouldn't be in the line of killers.

But it was too late.

And he would see the person that had touched her dead at his feet before long. No one hurt those he loved. Absolutely no one.

Until Flora was killed, Buffy needed to be better protected. And barring locking her up all Rapunzel style- to which he knew she would object -there weren't many options.

He needed to teach her how to fight. The minute her throat was healed up, he'd take her into the basement for some simple maneuvers, he'd get her using weapons, he'd spar gently with her and teach her some dirty fighting tricks. A lot of survival had to do with brain more than brawn, and he'd teach her all that, too. So would the others. Spike would have Buffy on the best guard possible before long.

Of course... there was one thing that could be done to give her strength right away, something that would tie them together as well as help keep her safe.

He'd be able to sense her. She'd get stronger, pick up fighting skills quicker...

And he wanted it.

Spike strode from the room, leaving behind flower vases that were filled, and he hoped would always be.

***

She awoke with teeth at her shoulder.

In her blurry senses, Buffy grabbed his arms and gasped, her eyes going wide. She almost pushed him away before the sensations hit, like sparks beneath her skin.

She arched involuntarily when Spike's arm wrapped about her waist. If he bit any harder he could rip the skin, if he fanged out he would.

Buffy wasn't sure why it didn't scare her. Perhaps because she trusted him; and perhaps because she loved him and didn't care, almost wanted it.

"Spike...?"

He pulled back abruptly, his eyes flashed golden and Buffy looked on questioningly.

The vampire pulled her up, positioning her legs around his torso so she sat half on him and half on the mattress. He stroked her arms, trailing loving warmth along her skin while visibly fighting for control.

He looked unsure yet determined, and a little afraid. Buffy frowned, but didn't try and speak. She thought he needed time to phrase something... or at least explain why he'd woke her up with a bite.

Then he said something else.

"There's somethin called claiming..."

*Diving right in, then, eh mate?* he thought to himself.

He hadn't long to ponder on how he would bring this up to her. The decision was made quickly, not hastily, but with a desperation behind it. He not only wanted Buffy with him for as long as time would allow, but longer than that. He wanted their hearts bound by every conceivable thread, he wanted her blood on his lips and his body tied to hers.

He'd been afraid to ask her once, now he was aching with the effort to get the words out quickly without buggering it all up.

Spike looked away from her eyes for a moment, then collected his courage, and continued. "S'a strong magick connection between a vamp and a chosen... mate." He saw the widening of her eyes, and continued quickly, with worry nipping at the heels of his... proposal, for lack of a better word. He scoffed. "The few differences between one and a real marriage is..."

Buffy suddenly shook her head, a deep line between her brows. "Spike- What are you talking about? Are you asking me to- to marry you?"

Spike almost chuckled, but not quite. "Sort've. See, claiming... being mated to a vampire is permanent. There's no divorce if you decide the whole ride into the sunset went sour. You're both stuck with each other... forever." He stared hard into her eyes, trying to hide his vulnerability at all costs but unable to look away. "You'd be immortal, and stronger. We'd be linked. I could feel you and we'd- we'd sense each other. And if another vamp ever tried to bite you, he'd get a mouthful of burnin plasma 'stead of a ripe snack."

Buffy took a few moments to blink. Then, when the words truly hit, when she understood why he was asking this of her, she tugged her arms back. She sent him a glare that, by his worried, wounded expression, Spike didn't understand.

"You would use this to make me stronger? To protect me?"

He opened his mouth to reply but she shoved away from him and scooted father up the bed, her scowl dark and hurt. "I don't believe you."

"What-"

"Wait, I take that back," she interrupted, "Of course I believe you. You're so paranoid, it's totally expected you would try to make me stronger no matter what, even offer up your own freedom as a sacrifice. You're just so selfless, Spike."

"That's not-"

"You're worried about my safety." She shook her head in an effort to ignore the burning behind her eyes, and let a convulsive swallow go down her itching throat. "That's the only reason why you'd..."

He wasn't sure if she was saying no or arguing over the validity of all this. He'd woke her up expecting to either get a refusal or a contemplative "maybe," but not anger. "Buffy, I- I want you safe, yeah. But that's not the only reason I'm askin you this."

She looked at him, her entire face clouded by invisible glass that threatened to crack. A veil of hope, a cover of sadness, uncertainty... He didn't know why it was all there, could only assume she was scared.

But she didn't look scared. This was Buffy, he knew his girl, and seeing her frightened was one of the most seldom things to ever happen; he recalled only once witnessing her scared, and that was by a box of pictures. She was not scared now. She was... hurt.

Buffy tried not to flinch when he took her hands, and looked her in the eye, suddenly anxious. He said, "I want you. I've wanted you as my mate long before I even knew what havin one meant. 'Fore I could remember it at all." When she didn't respond he moved closer, and a new sort of desperation shaded his vision. "I love you. This whole matin business will make you stronger and it'll make it so I can sense you, know where you are, but I wouldn't be giving anything up for somethin like that. It'd be a bloody GIFT, Buffy. Don't you understand?" He shook his head at her, a path forging as she felt tears leaking down her cheeks in silence and prayer. "I want this. I want it more than I want blood. And I was gonna tell you before now but the moment passed an I..." He sighed, and pressed her hands. "Knowin you loved me- Least, I'd hoped... but hopin an not knowin for sure seemed the better option for a while there."

She understood that all too well.

Buffy had to swallow several times before she could answer him, and let out a long breath before even attempting to speak. "Y-You- You want... that? With me?"

"It means never havin to watch you die."

He said it so matter of fact, she lost her breath for a moment. Then he continued on.

"You'd be my mate, Buffy." Spike brought her closer and lowered his head to her level, their gazes locked, a heartbeat drumming the world into silence beyond one vampire's words. "You'd be linked to me, an me to you. You'd become immortal... like me. But you'd still have sunlight and a pulse, and if we have a spat we'll have to work it out; there'll be no giving up on this. But I hadn't planned on that anyway. Even if you did shove me off, I'd still bloody follow you 'til the end of the world. This is it for me, Buffy, you're my sodding 'ever after,' whatever rot you wanna call it." He pressed their foreheads together, and said, "You're it."

And just like that, there was no more will, no more self control. Every wish had been granted, every need had been tended in her heart, and her soul prayed to be shared. It was the end, her "it" was right in front of her, too.
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Don't hate me for being a little late again, I apologize. The next chapter I will try and give you smut! Also, please leave a review for this one, I adore them! Thanks for reading! *hugs*





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