Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay. Full steam ahead.Review people. I need reviews. Please.
Chapter 6

At four a clock, Buffy finally managed to drag herself out of bed. She only had a couple of hours until Spike came home. She made her way to the bathroom, and jumped into the hot shower. She brushed until her gums nearly bled, washed and scrubbed until her skin was raw and pink and clean. Even though she refused to think about it, she knew she was trying to rid herself of his smell and scent of him. She focused on cleaning herself, keeping her mind occupied. The last thing she wanted to do was to reflect on what had happened last night. And this morning.

“Nothing happened,” she whispered, as she dried her hair, trying to make herself believe it. “Nothing,” she said determinedly, opening her eyes to stare at herself in the mirror. She knew it wasn’t true, but she didn’t care. She was going to make it so.

“Just a bad dream,” Buffy said in a hushed voice. “A bad dream.” She nodded to herself firmly and stepped out of the bathroom. She chose a flowery, feminine dress that always made her feel good and got dressed slowly, trying to minimize the soreness in her body that was a harsh reminder of the truth. She tended to her make up, then glanced at the clock. 17:45. She didn’t have much time. She looked around to see that the room was a mess. Her eyes fell on the black negligee she had worn the night before, startling proof of both her undying love for her husband and her infidelity to him.

Whore, she heard a voice whisper in her mind, insidiously. Whose, she couldn’t tell. Perhaps it was Xander’s. Perhaps Spike’s. Perhaps her own. Her lips quivered just a little, her eyes watered and then she took a deep breath and was back in charge. Quickly she began clearing up. She picked up the outfit and tossed it into the corner, then did the same with the sheets and the pillow cases, without any emotion. She quickly made the bed, then bent down, looking for trash under. And she stared at what she found.

Used condoms. And plenty of them. More evidence of what never happened. Despite being ‘in character’ she’d been smart enough to insist that they use protection. And Xander had agreed, albeit very reluctantly. But only in exchange for her going down on him. And staying until the very end. Something he’d made her do so many, many times. Even just thinking about it now, for a moment, made her sick.The whole thing had played out as a farce. They had pretended to be two lovers bantering. But neither of them was delusional enough to actually buy into it. They both knew exactly what was going on. They were making a deal. Her virtue for his silence.

She hurried into the bathroom to get a packet of tissues, gathering up the condoms, when she suddenly stopped. We used condoms last night. And this morning……..right?

“Right,” Buffy said, “of course we used condoms this morning. Of course we did. That was the deal.”

And then she remembered. She had awoken, sleepy and groggy. Xander had caught her off guard. He’d threatened her into letting him have her. Again and again and again.
Without condoms, Buffy realized suddenly, feeling absolutely nauseous.

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “No. No. No. No.”

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she screamed flinging the tissues and the condoms away, letting herself collapse to the floor and weep. She didn’t know how long she stayed there. She didn’t care. She screamed and cried until she passed out. When she awoke, she found that the room was pitch dark. She wiped her tear soaked cheeks with her hands, then looked around.

“Spike?” she whispered into the darkness. She stood on shaky legs, then turned on the bedside light. The room was empty. She went to the hall, expecting to find him just sitting there, looking at her. Empty. The kitchen? Empty. The guest bedroom? Empty. She reached for the house phone, but it wasn’t there. She spotted her mobile on the coffee table, then snatched it up.

12 Missed Calls. 4 new messages. All from William.

Her hands trembled as she clicked on the messages.

“Plane delayed. Should be back later on tonight. I love you.”

Next message.

“Plane cancelled. Should be back tomorrow. Bloody southwest airlines. I love you. I’m sorry.”

Next message

“Buffy, call me. Been trying to reach you. Please. I’m sorry love. I’m sorry. Please.”

Final message

“Don’t shut me out love. Please don’t shut me out. I tried to tell you. So many times I tried. I just couldn’t.
Please. I love you. Call me back. Please.”

Buffy stared at the phone, then dialled his number. He picked it up on the second ring.

“Buffy,” he whispered, “Where have you been? I’ve been going crazy….”

“I’m fine,” Buffy managed to croak. “Honey, I just took a sleeping pill. I haven’t been feeling well.”

“Oh thank god,” Spike said, his voice sounding clearly relieved.

A moment of awkward silence rested between them.

“Look,” Spike said, taking a deep breath. “I didn’t want
you to worry. I’ve hired the best lawyer to defend me. And we …..”

You don’t need a lawyer, Buffy almost blurted out. Not after what I…. Oh god, what did I do?..

“Just…..come home Spike,” she said instead. “Come home to me.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow,” Spike promised.
“I love you,” Buffy whispered, hanging up the phone, then stared at it. "You have no idea how much I love you."

She hugged herself, making her way back into the bedroom and turned on the lights. All she saw were condoms and tissue papers. And then she remembered.

The condoms.

She searched the drawers of her room frantically. She couldn’t find her morning after pills. Or her prescription.

“Did Xander take them?” she asked herself, shaking her head. After last night and this morning, she wasn't ready to put anything past him.

“Did you take them, you bastard,” she asked, her voice breaking. Yet she managed to control herself. Moments later, she realized what she had to do. She swallowed her pride and dialed the number of her ultimate frenemy.

“Yeah,” she heard a gruff voice answer.

“I need your help,” Buffy said.

“Hello to you too blondie,” Faith said, sickly sweetly. “It’s been a while.”

“Come over,” Buffy said. “And……”

“And?” Faith repeated, her interest suddenly peaked.

Buffy gulped. “And…..bring……”

“Bring what blondie?” Faith teased. “A dildo? Loverboy ain’t getting it done? I'm touched....”

“Bring some morning after pills,” Buffy said, hanging up the phone.

“Well fuck me,” Faith whistled. “Blondie’s a bad girl. Who knew?”

“Shut the fuck up,” the guy sleeping next to her growled.

“Get the fuck out,” Faith responded.

“Seriously?” he asked, raising his head. Faith smiled, bending over to retrieve a stun gun she’d kept under her bed since college. She brandished it threateningly, and he threw up his arms.

“Call me,” she mocked as he beat a hasty retreat, falling all over himself to get away. "Loser."

Faith searched her stash until she came upon her morning after pills. She looked at them, and then called Buffy back.

“I’m out,” she said.

“What?” Buffy croaked. “You’re………out?”

“What can I say,” Faith grinned, enjoying herself.

“Keep looking. Please.”

“Oh I can keep looking,” Faith said, checking her nails. “I was just……….”

“Just what?” Buffy asked.

“Just wondering why you need morning after pills.”

“Because I had sex,” Buffy growled. "Duh."

“You told me you were trying to have a baby. Remember?“ Faith teased. "And don't morning after pills......"

Oh god. Buffy remembered. That's why she hadn’t refilled her prescription. Of course.

“We changed our minds,” Buffy said, her voice shaking.

“You’re lying B,” Faith said, clearly amused. “So tell me. Who didja fuck that wasn’t your husband?”

“No one,” Buffy insisted.

“Bbye B,” Faith threatened.

“It wasn’t like that,” Buffy blurted out.

“So you did,” Faith grinned. “Who?”

“No one,” Buffy insisted. “Faith please…..”

“Where?” Faith said, switching tacks. “You gotta gimme something B. Or no pills for Buffy.”

“At home,” Buffy whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “In my bed.” She didn't want to say anything, but she couldn't help herself. It was like drawing poison from her veins.

“You’re so nasty B,” Faith grinned. “Now be a good girl and tell me who it was.”

“Xander Harris,” Buffy whispered instinctively, “It was Xander. He…”

“Spike’s boss?” Faith chuckled, “Well what do you know. Mr happily married nice guy has a working dick. Well, that’s one way of getting your husband ahead. Giving his boss some head.”

Buffy felt tears come to her eyes.

“Did you enjoy it B?” Faith taunted, eager to extract one last pound of flesh.

“No,” Buffy croaked. She knew she couldn't stop now, even if she wanted to. “He blackmailed me. Faith, I didn't want to. But I had to. I had to pretend. Otherwise...."

Faith stopped breathing. What the fuck.

"What are you saying B?" she said carefully.

"I think........i think he raped me."

"I'll be right over," Faith promised.

"He raped me," Buffy realized, letting the phone fall to the floor.


Chapter End Notes:
More to come. Stay tuned....PS I know many people will hate Faith and the way she came off, but there's a reason for introducing her character. Have faith. No pun intended.



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