Spike surprised Buffy by not saying a word until they reached his penthouse apartment.
“After you,” he said finally, opening the door. Then after seeing Dawn in the living room, he added, “I’m glad to see you’ve made yourself comfortable, bit.”
“You’ve got a super nice place here,” Dawn answered from the couch. She was watching the flat screen TV with her feet propped up on the coffee table. “Are you rich like Angel now?”
“Hardly,” Spike snorted. “Besides, I’m not sure if Angel got more than keys to the castle when he made his deal with the devil.”
“He actually did that?” Buffy asked. “He made a deal with the devil to get this place?”
“It isn’t too hard to believe, now is it?” He replied with a smirk. “The devil? Wolfram and Hart shareholders? There doesn’t seem to be much of a difference between the two as far as I’m concerned.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, Buffy peeked into Spike’s bedroom. “Dawn, where’s Spike’s mom?”
“Don’t worry, I haven’t been slacking on my babysitting duties. She’s in the extra bedroom. I figured you guys could take Spike’s room and I’d stay on the couch since we have an odd number of beds. Spike’s bed is huge and his room is pretty swanky, Buffy.”
“I noticed.”
“Carl will be up here with our bags in a second. He’s so nice and helpful. He’s also pretty cute.”
“I noticed that too.”
“Oh, did you?” Spike asked with a raised brow.
“I wonder how old he is,” Dawn continued.
“Well, you can stop wondering right now. Carl’s an old geezer, and he’s off limits. He wouldn’t be interested in the likes of you. Or you, for that matter,” he said, gesturing toward Buffy. “He’s taken. He’s seeing Harmony--.”
“Really? Who isn’t seeing her? Do you just pass her around like some kinda complimentary Wolfram and Hart-issued sex toy?”
“Woah,” Dawn giggled. “My ears!”
“Carl is seeing Harmony’s hairstylist,” Spike added. He looked Buffy up and down. A smirk was back on his face. Instantly, Buffy’s body felt uncomfortably warm within her sweater and jeans. “You’ll have to excuse her, Dawnie. Big sis had herself a catnap. Apparently, she’s all feisty now.”
“You are feeling better? I freaked out when you nearly collapsed to the floor, Buffy. Thank God Spike caught you in time. It spooked Mrs. Pratt too. She really wants to see you guys. Like asap.”
Buffy and Spike exchanged glances, then he asked her, “You want to tag team or go in there together?”
“Personally, my vote is for togetherness,” Dawn answered. “She probably just wants to know the date and time of the wedding.”
“Dawn!”
“What? Shouldn’t Spike know her expectations before he goes in there? And, um, she might have some other more difficult questions that’ll take both of you to answer.”
“Like what?” Buffy demanded. “What happened?”
“Well… I’m like ninety-nine percent positive that she saw Lorne before Angel could take the food from him. I think she saw the flashy suit, the green face, the horns…his red demony eyeballs. Because since then she’s been very quiet. Like really really quiet. How do you know if someone has PTSD?”
“Dawn!” Buffy exclaimed again.
“Hush, pet, it’ll be alright,” Spike assured, ushering her aside. “What have you told her so far? How much does she know?”
“Not much. I rehashed everything you’ve told me about yourself. I’ve avoided all the hot button issues like time travel and vampires. I said you had funny looking hair and that you were more pasty than she would remember.”
Spike nodded. “Is there anything else I should know before we face her?”
“I have everything from your velvet bag. She’s literally bound to the locket that was in there. I feel like I should return it to her, but if anything happens to it, we’ll lose her.”
“And that would be a bad thing?” Spike asked, clearly intrigued. “Why do you want to keep my mother around, Slayer?”
“Because she’s your mom.” Buffy’s eyes went to the couch where Dawn was eavesdropping. “She’s a nice lady and she’s handy. She’s helping Dawn with her Euro homework.”
“Is that so? May I speak to you in private?” He steered her into his bedroom and closed the door behind them. “Euro homework, really? You expect me to believe we’re keeping my mum, who’s presently scared out of her wits, in the future, because your sister needs a tutor in history?”
“Well, when you put it that way it does sound a little…off.”
“Buffy, I’d like to hear the truth.”
“The truth isn’t that exciting,” she began with a shrug. “I like Anne. I don’t mind having her around. Her family always comes first and nothing shocks her—or at least nothing did until she saw Lorne. And you can’t blame her for being terrified. He looks like a demonic leprechaun.”
“There’s more to this, I know it. You’re holding something back.”
“You don’t know anything,” Buffy said, forcing a laugh.
“I know you.” Spike took a step forward. “Conjuring my mum might’ve been a mistake, but she’s still here for a reason.”
“And do you really think you’re going to keep me in here until I fill you in on whatever that reason is?”
“Yeah.” He moved toward her again until she was corned. “Unless Dawn was right about you and me and our upcoming nuptials? What’s that all about?”
“I doubt we’d take it that far,” she mumbled.
“Pet, I’m still not following.”
“I just want you to have this time with your mom. And Anne needs it. She loves you so much. She died thinking you would never find a girl that could fall for homely William Pratt. So I had to prove her wrong. That’s why she thinks we’re betrothed and I’m sure she’s expecting a wedding before the weekend is over. Apparently, when two people love each other, they--.”
“Now you can stop talking.” He spoke as if it pained him to form the words. He lifted his hands up. Buffy thought he was going to cup her face. He was staring at her mouth. Then he hesitated.
“We should get out of here,” he continued, defeated. “We shouldn’t keep her waiting.”
“For a second I thought you were going to kiss me.”
“I should. It’s what you bloody-well deserve. You should be kissed breathless, until you can’t see straight or think properly.”
“What’s stopping you?” she asked softly.
“Wasn’t sure how you’d react,” he admitted. “It’s been awhile.”
“I hear it should be like jumping back on a horse. Or is it something about riding a bicycle?”
He studied her with his head slightly cocked to one side. “Death, you know it can make the heart grow fonder. Warm fuzzy feelings can cool off once you realize your dearly departed is back and for good. Kitten, I’d fully understand it if--.”
“You’re going to say it again, aren’t you? I own up—again—I choose honesty, I pour my heart out just to get another: “No you don’t, but thanks for saying it?”” She closed eyes and shook her head. “God Spike, what does a girl have to say or do to be taken seriously around here?”
“Buffy, you know that I love you,” he began, speaking gruffly. “You’re being so stunningly sweet, so fucking adorable… I don’t know what to do with you. My head’s screaming one thing, but my soul’s saying something else.”
“That does sounds like a problem,” she replied, licking her lips. “Do you want me to wait until you sort things out? What can I do to help you through this difficult decision?”
“You…wait, are you mocking me?”
“Maybe, a little. Boy, to see William the Bloody so morally conflicted…” She had to smile. “Spike, you don’t have to do anything with me. Now that all my mushy feelings have been aired out, you can go your way and I can go mine.”
“No offense, pet, but that would be fucking absurd.”
“If your soul is stopping you from kissing me--.”
“Oh, sod that.”
Buffy expected a demanding consuming lip lock, but his kiss was tender. He seemed more interested in gathering her up and holding her close. Moaning into his mouth, Buffy hugged him back tightly.
“Slayer. God, I’ve missed you.”
“I really thought I’d never see you again.”
“I hate that you had to feel that way. Being away from you was tearing me up inside.”
Her eyes closed as he kissed a line down her neck. She wanted to ignore the question that was nagging her, but she couldn’t do it. “Then why didn’t you find me? I know Angel lied about where I was, but you could’ve reached out somehow.”
“Oh, I wanted to.”
“But you didn’t. Everything Angel said this afternoon, it’s true, isn’t?”
“Mostly,” he said, meeting her eyes. “To have a hero’s sendoff with my lady at my side, then to come back and be demoted to Angel’s wisecracking ghostly sidekick? Being around Angel, pet, everyday is a pissing match. He’s constantly holier-than-thou and I’ll admit I’ve been obsessed with taking him down a few pegs. I didn’t want you to see that.”
“You both have inflated egos.”
“Absolutely,” he replied. He flashed her a wicked smile before kissing her again. Buffy kissed him back, but she broke away too soon.
“Are you trying to fulfill that prophecy just to spite him?” she asked.
“Last I checked it wasn’t called: Shanshu, A Love Song for Angel, the Tall, Dark and Boring.”
“But you don’t need it convince anyone of your worthiness. Spike, you’re already a champion.”
“Baby…”
“No,” she said, squirming out of his reach once he tried to kiss her again. “You can’t distract me with your lips and soft touches. Not yet. I still need answers. And we still need to see your mother before it gets too late.”
“What would you like to know?”
“To start with, is the prophecy really important to you? Just because you have a soul… Believe it or not, I don’t require my vampire boyfriends to be on a constant road to redemption. You don’t have to chase prophecies, unless—Spike, do you want to be human again?”
“Can’t say I’d refuse it, if it were offered. Being human would open some doors that have been sealed up tight for a long time. I could grow old, get some distinguished grey hairs, start a family…all with you, I hope.”
Buffy blinked, instantly speechless.
“If your next question is about me leaving with you, you should know the answer to that. To finish what you started earlier, when two people love each other, it’s only right that they give it a proper go. They live together, they pay bills jointly, they—I don’t know, they buy insurance and have sex occasionally. I’d add babies to the list, but--.”
“Please don’t mention babies,” she whispered.
“So when it comes your vampire fiancés, do you require more or less from them?”
Buffy gasped. Before she could recover, Spike reached for her hand. He lowered himself down on bended knee. Her eyes grew wide.
“Mum’s expecting a wedding, yes? I say, let’s give her one. A walk down the aisle, promises of love, devotion: it doesn’t sound so bad. We’ll even let Angel be the ring bearer.”
“Spike, you can’t be serious.”
“Love, I’ll remind you, this wasn’t my idea.”
“It wasn’t mine!”
“No,” he said, bringing her hand to his lips. “It was Mother’s. And you’ve been running with it over how many state lines? Don’t you love me, Buffy?”
“Yes, but--.”
“I love you. I’d like to spend the rest of my days with you. I don’t care what I am: vampire or human. I just want you.”
When she didn’t respond, he stood up. He no longer looked as confident. “It doesn’t have to be a full-blown wedding. A vampire and the Slayer tying the knot would probably be against every rule out there. Our union would probably throw off the natural balance of the bloody universe.”
“But since when have we played by the rules?” Buffy asked quietly. “We’ve done everything that a vampire and Slayer shouldn’t do.”
“That’s right,” he agreed. “And it’s not like I’d waltz into a church. That’ll bypass at least one bolt of lightning. You know, even a bloody commitment ceremony would do the trick.” He rolled his eyes at his own suggestion. “Hell, no matter what it’ll just be for show anyway.”
“Oh. So that wasn’t a real proposal?”
“It seemed pretty real to me while I was proposing it,” he responded with a sheepish laugh. He ran a hand through his slicked back hair. “But I wouldn’t ask that of you, not for keeps…not this soon. I know we aren’t perfect—we’re nowhere near that. We still have plenty of bumps to iron out in our relationship, but it’s alright. We can put on a performance for Mother’s sake, but we can also turn this mock-ceremony into something brilliant. It could be good for us. Maybe the promises and vows, and going through the motions will give us the foundation we need to start over on the right foot, and then—oh, bloody hell, why are you letting me rattle on like this? Say something. Put me out of my misery.”
“Well, I don’t think a church wedding matters that much,” Buffy began with a shrug. She didn’t know what else to say. “Destination weddings are trendy. We’d just need a judge, I think.”
“Gunn’s brain has been practically pickled in legalese. He’d be our go-to guy if we wanted to make it look legitimate.” He moved toward her cautiously. “Buffy, are we going to do this?”
“Why’s it up to me?”
“Because I’m fairly certain that that’s how it works: I ask, you reply.”
“That might be the case in a normal everyday life. Nothing about this is normal, but how can I turn down a bogus proposal and a fake wedding?”
“Does that mean a fake honeymoon isn’t completely out of the question?”
“I don’t know about that,” she answered. “You’re pushing it.”
“A bloke can try, can’t he?”
“I guess.” After a brief pause she asked, “Do you really think all this fakery will be good for us?”
“It couldn’t hurt. It won’t be a throwaway ceremony. I want you to feel as any girl would on her special day.”
His words struck a chord, but she didn’t want him to know that. “It’s too bad we aren’t in Vegas, planning a wedding in twenty-four hours would be so much easier there. We could have a drive-through wedding, or an Elvis wedding or a drive-through wedding with an Elvis theme. I think Anne might like the King.”
“Least we won’t have to worry about guests or a reception. And I’ll go along with anything as long as it isn’t a daytime ceremony in the bloody park. You can have ‘Wing Beneath My Wings’ as the song for our first dance, if you must. But I don’t recommend smearing red paint on the cake topper to vamp-up the groom this time around.”
Without skipping a beat, she said, “Cute, because now’s the perfect time to remind me of our first sham of an engagement.”
“It was a sham that became a bloody revelation. Do you have any idea how many wet dreams that night brought about?”
“Jesus, Spike… If we go through with this: tomorrow we’ll plan, on Sunday we’ll have the festivities and Monday will be for goodbyes.”
“Sounds like you’re prepping for a battle. You weren’t kidding about this being a quick holiday.”
“Willow said we shouldn’t have Anne here longer than a few days or things will go bad. I don’t know how; I didn’t ask. I don’t want to take any chances.”
“We’re keeping her around just long enough to make her dreams of come true? Slayer, you’re a softie.”
“I think it’s the right thing to do. I think…Spike, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for everyone involved. Before today, I had never met any of my boyfriends’ parents. Since I seem to date only crusty old vampires, this might be my chance to have something semi-normal that every girl wants, even if it’s make believe--.”
“Alright, that’s enough.”
“It is?”
With his little finger he scratched his brow before hiding his hands in the pockets of his duster. “I’ll go mad if I hear another word, however since I’m a jerk and a glutton for punishment…can I hear you say it? This one time? Leave out fake, sham, bogus and all the words like them. Tell me you’ll accept my proposal.”
“Spike,” she began, wetting her lips. “It’s just so sudden. I don’t know what to say.”
Recognizing the words from their first engagement, he shook his head and cursed under his breath. “Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth,” he recited. “Then you say: Oh, Spike, of course, it’s yes.”
“You remember every word?”
“Give or take a few. Now that that’s out of the way, can we deviate from the prior transcript?”
“Spike, yes. I’ll marry you.”
The look he gave her was a mixture of adoration, relief and amazement. “I’d give you my ring, but I stopped wearing that god-awful jewelry awhile back.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m a low maintenance bride-to-be, no ring required.”
“Forget that nonsense. I’ll come up with something,” he promised. “Until then…”
Holding her face between his palms, he kissed her. It made Buffy’s heart ache. Unable to resist, she deepened the kiss, causing them to moan in unison. Spike pushed her back against the closed door.
“Will a kiss alone be enough to seal the deal?” he asked, breaking away suddenly.
Panting, she answered, “Oh, I’d consider it sealed.”
“You alright?” He searched her face. “No second thoughts? No cold feet?”
Shaking her head, Buffy filled her lungs with air and then she slowly released the breath.
“Alright,” Spike said, giving her one last kiss. “Let’s go spread the happy news.”
***
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