Demons
A bloke was getting himself tied to a ball and chain, and that meant that he was due one last hurrah. As Harris hadn’t made any plans for a stag party, according to Dawn the responsibility of making sure the whelp didn’t miss out on this rite of passage fell to Spike. The vampire wasn’t entirely convinced; her judgement was questionable, considering she thought NSync were incredibly talented.
Spike’s sceptical look brooked no argument with the bint.
“You lost and you do the forfeit,” she argued. “And I chose that you have to make Xander have a bachelor party.”
“Have you lost your mind?” he asked. “As if Harris would chose to be in my company.”
“That’s your problem,” Dawn replied. “Loser.” She made the L sign in the air.
Spike knew he had lost the battle with the kid for the second time in one day. The Slayer breaking things off really had spun his head if the Nibblet was getting the better of him.
“Women,” he muttered.
How on earth was he supposed to manage this?
Kidnapping Harris from his place of work probably wasn’t one of Spike’s best ideas but it sure was fun. With Clem’s help they had bungled the whelp in the back of his Desoto. Spike got a couple of zaps to the brain for his trouble before he managed to convince Harris he had no evil plans.
“What the hell are you doing?” Harris whinged.
“Not trying to hurt you, Harris. We’re taking you on an adventure of depravity.”
Clem waved nervously at the man. “Hi Xander. We’re going to have an amazing time.”
Spike could practically see the cogs moving in the boy’s birdbrain. “Again, I said huh!”
“We’re throwing you a bachelor party,” Spike said.
Twice Harris opened his mouth and closed it again before he could finally find his voice. “Right, and that makes a whole heap of sense. Bachelor parties are meant to be with friends and loved ones, not demons and former enemies.” Harris rang his fingers through his hair. “No offence, Clem,” Harris added when Clem’s face fell.
Spike tutted disparagingly. “Your friends are all women or tweedy book types. Don’t think you’d want a bachelor party with that lot.”
“Point taken,” Harris conceded. “But if you try and kill me…”
Spike chuckled. “I’m flattered, Harris, that you think this is some nefarious plan. I’m just here for the booze.”
The vampire rubbed his hands together, “Now – how about a ceasefire for the night?”
Harris shrugged. “Where to then?”
Spike’s smirk became even more pronounced. “We’re going for a road trip in this baby.” He rubbed his hand fondly on the dashboard.
“But where are we going?”
Spike ignored him and started the engine. Clem, taking pity on Harris, answered, “Los Angeles!”
The night passed by in a pleasurable, alcohol induced blur and wasn’t altogether as terrible as Spike thought it would be. In truth Harris wasn’t bad company when he had a few drinks.
Spike stumbled back from the bar with a round of drinks; he lost count of how many. Harris was well and truly plastered and he was gloomily staring into his empty pint glass.
“Am I doing the right thing?” Xander was saying. “I mean – I want to marry Anya. God, I love her, but I worry about...” His head went up at Spike’s arrival.
Spike shook his head. “You’d be a fool to let Demon girl go. Some other bloke would snap her up right quick if you did.”
Clem nodded. “She’s a peach even if her skin’s all tight.”
“’Sides,” Spike added, “She loves you for some reason. Some of us aren’t so lucky; we get driven around the bend by bitches playing hot and cold.”
“Didn’t know you seeing anybody,” Harris said suspiciously.
“Not anymore,” Spike replied, already regretting his outburst.
“Spike got dumped by the-” Spike quickly stood on Clem’s foot. “Hey – what was that for, Spike?”
“Shut the hell up!”
Harris looked at him thoughtfully, and Spike didn’t like it much; Buffy would dust him if he let the cat out of the bag.
“Drink up,” the vampire said, putting the three pints on the table.
The first Buffy knew of any crazy bachelor party was when she bumped into Spike, Xander and Clem pulling up in Spike’s Desoto, looking decidedly unkempt and hungover (or maybe the hungover part was just Xander).
Spike opened the driver door and stepped out, “Hullo, Slayer.”
She watched open mouthed as Xander stepped out of the back of the car. “I’ll fill you in another time.”
“Hi, Buffy,” said Clem.
Her head was spinning. Was she after landing in Bizzaro world or some other dimension?
“Am I dreaming?” she asked the demon.
Clem just smiled. “No, we went on a road trip. It was swell.”
Buffy snuck a look at Spike, who was looking decidedly shifty.
He avoided her gaze, “Ask the Little Bit. Things to do and places to be.”
The vampire turned away and walked off into the distance. Buffy could feel both Xander and Clem’s eyes on her. Clem had a sad expression on his face, his flaps of skin wobbling as he shook his head. Buffy realised in surprise that Clem must know about he and Spike. That knowledge made her instantly nauseous and she could feel her stomach heaving.
“I’ve gotta go,” she said, and took off in the direction of Revello Drive, all thoughts of patrol driven from her head as were any questions as to why Clem, Spike and Xander were all pally all of a sudden.
It was the following day when Buffy finally did remember to wonder about Spike and Xander hanging out, and she asked Dawn like Spike had said. The answer was even more ludicrous than her fanciful imaginings, which had even included an illicit affair, which caused her a twinge of jealousy. Buffy’s hysterical laughter reverberated around their living room at Dawn’s revelation. It was a good fifteen minutes before she could calm down. Needing to find out more about their boy’s night out she decided to head to the Magic Box. Xander usually made his way to the shop after work to close up so Anya could count the money.
Buffy and Dawn bumped into Spike as she entered the Magic Box. Buffy couldn’t help the knowing smile or her face.
“I take it the Bit told you.”
Buffy nodded her head. “Are you an imposter?” She tried for a joke. “And what did you do with Spike?”
“Don’t be fooled, luv. I didn’t do this out of the goodness of my black, dead heart; I lost a bet to the Little Bit. Surprised she let out that bit.”
Buffy’s eyebrows knit together in disapproval, “You taught her poker?”
Dawn sniggered. “Na huh. I beat him at Candyland.”
“Bit!” Spike was practically growling and Dawn darted in the door of the shop with a smug expression.
Meanwhile, Buffy had burst into giggles once more. “To think that I ever saw you as a threat.”
Spike sent an icy glare in her direction. “Ha, ha, Slayer,” he retorted, and was off in a swish of leather. Why do I always attract the moody vampires? She couldn’t help but wonder at her record.
Buffy stood staring at the space he had occupied with a little smile on her face. Who knew? Mr Big Bad couldn’t even beat a teenager in a board game. She shook her head, wondering at the dork underneath the brash and loud exterior. A loud “ahem” from behind her alerted her to Xander’s presence.
“Hey, Mr Groom,” she said, with a grin. “What ya doin’?”
He crossed his arms across his chest. “I want to ask you a question, and I want an honest answer?”
Puzzled, she frowned. “Ask me. I’m an open book – an open Buffy book.”
Xander looked her straight in the eye. “Have you been sleeping with Spike?”
Oh crap!
Buffy sighed realising there was no way out of this. “Not anymore. It’s over. We were bad for each other.”
“Nuff said,” Xander put his arm around her. “I don’t want to know about all the dirty details. You know I’m not always the most observant, and it’s really ooky, but I think in his own way he actually does love you.”
She flinched at his words. “I know.” That’s why we can’t work, she added silently.
Xander looked at her, his eyes full of concern. Buffy guessed her felt her flinch was wondering what he had said to cause it. “You do care for him, don’t you?”
“I don’t love him,” Buffy said, a default response to any of her internal questions when it came to her relationship with Spike.
Xander was still looking at her.
Buffy closed her eyes not wanting to see her friend’s face when she made her confession. “He’s been good to me, and I have feelings, but it’s not love. It’s not fair to him when I can’t give him what he wants.”
When she opened her eyes again she was surprised to see understanding and empathy. She really had a habit of misjudging people.
He tightened his embrace around her. “That’s okay, Buff. I know we can be a bit hands on and mouthy about your relationships. We may not agree with your decisions, but it’s your life and you’ve got to start living it for you instead of worrying about others. No matter what we think about Spike, we’d support you if he’s what makes you happy.”
Buffy shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears. “He isn’t… but he helped me feel alive during a really bad time…I used his feelings for me to make myself feel better for a little while.” She took a deep breath and looked into his face. “What do you think about me, now?”
His shock at her admission was clear on his face but it was fleeting. “I love you, Buffy. We all mess up once in a while, and we were to blame for pulling you out of heaven. What you did wasn’t right, but I don’t love you any less, you moron.”
Buffy sniffled and she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. “I love you, Xan.”
She pulled away and dried her tears with the back of her hand. “I’m such a dope. Moron thy name is Buffy. Secrets are never of the good.”
“You’ve got that right,” Xander said. “You can tell me anything. Remember that.”
“Let’s go inside before they send a search party for us.”
Buffy’s hand was on the door handle when Xander stopped her. “There is one secret that needs to be kept.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“I actually had a good time with Spike and he even taught me a few life skills, like how to cheat at poker and to hotwire a car.” He gave Buffy a meaningful look. “He’s not such a bad guy for an evil bloodsucker.”
She knew Xander was, in his dumb way, telling her he was okay with her rekindling things with Spike if she wanted to. Not that she was going to. Even if she thought about it sometimes and had dreams where he starred... No – that was never going to happen, although it was good to know Xander would still have her back.
The end
Author's Chapter Notes:
This was written for sb_fag_ends on livejournal a couple of months ago.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter End Notes:
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