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Story Notes:
I was waiting to complete finish this before posting. I have this story completed on fanfiction.net for a while as three different stories, but I have been rewriting it as one long story instead. I have been posting this revised and better written version on my livejournal and other sites for the last four years. It is finally finished and I intend on posting it all here over the next few weeks.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my plot and any characters I haven't stolen from Whedon and co.
Author's Chapter Notes:
When Xander comes across Spike in Los Angeles and discovers the vampire isn't dust after all, Spike is faced with an important decision. Will he go see Buffy? Will she be happy to see him or will she dust him for not telling her he survived the Hellmouth.
Chapter One: Chance

It was a chance encounter that Xander Harris never anticipated. Actually as Xander would later point out, it was more like a chance glance of a familiar shock of peroxide blond hair and long leather duster. He was in Los Angeles on a mission for the newly formed Watcher's Council when he came across what most people would deem a street brawl. William the Bloody, or as he was more commonly known Spike, was fighting with several vampires at once. To say that Xander was shocked was an understament considering that Spike was supposed to be nothing more than dust in the Hellmouth.

"Well Captain Peroxide, you are looking awfully spry for a pile of ash" Xander exclaimed. Spike did a double take and his indecision allowed one of the vampires to land a solid right hook on his nose. Spike cursed.

"Damn it," he said holding his nose before throwing himself back into the fray.

Spike was more than holding his own but he reached into his duster and threw another stake to Xander.

"Are you just going to stand there or give me a hand?" he said impatiently.

Xander joined in the fray and between them the other vampires soon were nothing more than dust in the air. The euphoria and adrenaline from the fight soon evaporated leaving the two in an uncomfortable silence.

"Spike it's good to see you" Xander began awkwardly.

Spike looked at him eyebrow raised.

"Scratch that! It is never good to see you!" Xander amended quickly, "How have you been?"

"Dead, deader, ghost, vampire in Hell A, vampire in actual Hell and then back in Hell A again."

Xander just stood there, his mouth open wide.

"Cat got your tongue, boy?" Spike asked.

"There was I just thinking you were dust" Xander stuttered.

"Actually I was." Spike smirked, "But as it turns out I was posted in an envelope and landed in Great Poof's office."

"Wish I was there for that conversation" Xander grinned.

"Well not so much conversation as violence or at least attempted bloodshed anyway" Spike admitted.

They both laughed but then the awkward silence overcame them once more.

"Gee Spike what the hell are you doing here? Does Buffy know you are back?"

"Quit the twenty questions!" Spike snapped. Xander however did not lower his gaze.

"No she does not know." Spike said softly looking down at his leather boots.

Xander shook his head sadly.

"Spike I always thought you were many things but I never had you down as a coward."

Spike flinched and glared at the darker haired man.

"I was trying to do the right thing. You can't imagine how difficult it's been being without her."

"Yes I can" Xander replied his eyes darkening at the memory his fallen ex girlfriend,

"It's not your decision as to what Buffy does with her life and it is not mine and certainly not Angel's. It's about time that the men in Buffy's life accepted that she is an adult and is perfectly capable of making her own decisions and her own mistakes."

"I am a man now am I" Spike interrupted.

This only served to annoy Xander all the more.

"Shut up!." he said. Why was it Spike always seemed to bring the immature child in him?

He was trying to have a serious conversation with Spike of all people. Who was he kidding? Spike was not even a person after all.

"I don't like you. I never will. However I still think she deserves the truth. You have to tell her you are undead again. Personally I hope she dusts you but she has earned the right to make that decision herself."

The normally arrogant swagger was gone as the vampire deflated before his eyes.

"I can't" Spike croaked "She'll never forgive me for not telling her"

"She's forgiven you for a lot worse." Xander pointed out.

Spike winced remembering the fateful night that had prompted him to seek out his soul.

"So Bleached wonder," Xander continued, "either you tell her or I will and if it ends up with being me the messenger boy then I will be sure to point out to Buffy how you did not care enough to tell her yourself that you were back."

Spike met the challenge in the young man's eyes and bowed his head. Xander was right. Spike had never thought a day would come when the boy was making sense. Wow the kid had grown up a lot.

"So what else have you been up to besides being all flamey and dusty?" Xander asked. His curiosity was getting the better of him.

"Been fighting the good fight with Captain Forehead" Spike answered mysteriously

"How did that happen exactly? I mean how do you get from the violence to the working together?" Xander asked.

"Long story!" Spike declared.

Xander decided then and there to start afresh with the vampire. He would never forget what Spike was but he owed it to Buffy and hell he even owed it to Spike after he saved the world.

"Well I have both time and a wad of notes courtesy of Giles. I think both of us could do with a drink. Fancy a beer?"

"Not likely but a Jack Daniels would be nice."

Xander rolled his eyes. Some things never change.

"Jack Daniels it is then." Xander conceded, "But I still don't like you."

"The feeling is mutual, mate. Still don't like you much either."



To be continued

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Chapter End Notes:
Thank you so much for reading. Please review. Feedback would be great. This chapter originally was a one shot.



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