Author's Chapter Notes:
I hope everyone is enjoying this so far! :)
Chapter 16


Apprehension had the best of her. Questions flooded her mind about what had happened in the graveyard, and why certain parties acted as they did. Her thoughts were making it all worse, but they were uncontrollable. Nothing much made sense, but the parts that did were the ones she was scared of. How could the universe keep filling her life with happiness, only to rip it away, time and time again? It was like the Powers That Be enjoyed playing a sick and twisted game with her life. Or maybe it wasn’t The Powers with a demented sense of humor, just fate. Destiny.

Buffy had it burned into her brain, after being preached at for so many years. 'Into each generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is The Slayer.' It rang true enough to her ears. She wasn't supposed to have family, friends, or someone to care for. The life she lived had no benefits for her. She strictly existed to save and protect others, no matter the cost.

Either way, there were no choices. This new player in town had an agenda, and not of the good. She had to put all trepidations aside to do her job. And what is square one of her job? Gathering the necessary information from any and all sources, bleached hair or not. I really need a new career path.

****

"I'm just really worried about her."

"I know Will, but she'll come around. Sometimes she just needs time." Xander continued walking with the architectural plans in hand, directing his men to their work stations. Willow had dropped by the job site to talk about their best friends, recent, troubling demeanor.

Willow followed closely behind, talking as if there hadn’t been any interruptions. “But that’s my point! Xander, when have you known Buffy to hide stuff, important mood ruining stuff, with us? After she shares, then she gets the time.”

“How about when she hid Angel being back, and deader than ever, from us? Or when she went off to fight The Master alone, knowing it was written she would die? Or what about with Dawn being a mystical key? Or when-”

“Okay! You made your point! And with brute force...” She began to pout some, “So do you think eventually she’ll tell us?”

He opened the door to the small construction trailer, holding it open for the red head to enter. He took a seat behind one of the desks, as she sat in one of the chairs directly across from him. “I think if she needs us, we’ll be there to help.”

****

A moment passed before Buffy realized her hand, made into a fist, was in the air. About the strike the large metal door to Spike’s home. Was this going to be the first time she knocked? It was easy enough to allow herself entrance. The normal routine was to abruptly barge in by throwing the door open with enough force to rip it clean from the hinges. Though, she supposed that a decent amount of civil manners should take place, now that she and Spike were together. Or so she hoped.

Within the past few days, Spike’s behavior had been suspicious, but now there was tangible evidence for her suspicions to grow into theories. Buffy also knew her mind had a nasty habit of thinking up all the most dreadful possibilities of any situation. However, in all fairness, many of the life tangles she got caught in were the most dreadful of possibilities. Maybe it was a default, automatically thinking of the worst case scenario so that she’d be prepared when they happened. Right now, all she knew was what she saw.

The mystery dates with a strange man, and Spike’s alliance with him. There were many questions she yearned to ask him, wishing the answers shed light upon the previous night. What she heard, rattled off by his own tongue, haunted her. Did he and this vampire conspire, and truly intend on killing her? She had enough confidence in herself to know she could handle herself, but from his performance, so could he. The question really pounding her brain was if that guy was talking of the truth. Did Spike have no soul?

But she wouldn’t get to ask about those uncertainties. Not tonight anyway. Tonight she was The Slayer, out to learn more about her new opponent. She wasn’t Buffy, the girl with a torn heart.

****

The construction site with Xander was just a pit stop for the red headed witch. She stopped by on her way to Tara's, since they were going to continue researching throughout the day. Willow couldn't help the giddy tingling inside her. She has been spending a lot of her time with her ex, trying to prove she had changed. Tara only wanted her to be honest, and not rely on magic like she had been doing. Willow was proud to show off the new and improved her.

Once the used-to-be couple sat down with the scattered piles of books on the floor, it felt so familiar. When they were practicing together, more often than not, this was the exact scene, only with spell casting and potion formula books. There wasn’t much conversation so far besides the topical “How are you’s”. They had each snuggled into their spots on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed to get comfortable for the grueling hours ahead.

The two hour mark was about to hit when Willow stood up in a rigid fashion. “Instar of Ruina,” she recited in a foreign tongue.

Tara slowly rose, trying not to hurt her already sore muscles. “Did you find something Will?”

“I’m not sure. A name, Instar of Ruina- It’s Latin for Figure of Destruction,” she glanced over the pages in silence for a few more seconds. “It says that was the name given to him by a pair of priests, whose fellowship he basically ate in 1881.”

Willow was never good at hiding her emotions, and for this reason, Tara knew the passage she found wasn’t pretty, due to her appalled look. “H-how do you know if it’s- I-I mean, what does it say?”

The distraught expression upon Willows face never vanished as she spoke. “Says it was one of the largest slaughters ever to invade a house of God. Only, the people weren’t just killed. One of the priests was hung on a cross, imitating The Crucifixion, but was kept alive to view the massacre unfolding before him. The other Father, Maurice, the one who wrote about this encounter, hid in the bell tower, watching.” Willow raised her eyes to meet Tara’s, “It’s noted that he took his life soon after from the guilt. But the priest said that the demon ripped through the mass, torturing each victim before tearing into their necks. Some of the people were violently dismembered by the creature’s bare hands, but some were turned into vampires and locked inside to feed on anyone still alive.”

The mental images were terrifying. Tara shook her head in disgust, “But w-what makes you think this is our vamp?”

She pointed to the book, fingering the words, “The description that Buffy gave us matches up almost perfectly, and plus...”

The words seemed to have escaped Willows lips. Tara lowered her gaze, “Plus? Plus what?”

“Well, before the vampire left the church, another one showed up. It reads that the new arrival was in a state of fury, yelling at the vampire, or Colton, as he called him. Apparently, they fought in such a feral state that Father Maurice believed they would kill one another. However, the fight ended with Colton on the floor, but he wasn’t dead.” Willow ended her summary, not speaking any further.

“How does that make a match?” Tara questioned, not making any connections from what Willow had just said.

Despite the sickened feeling, and not wanting to say anymore out loud, Willow took in a deep breath before continuing. “The second vampire walked to the priest suspended from the cross and drank, before turning around and shouting, ‘Let it be known, that even God’s henchmen won’t be spared from Spike!’.”

****

William just wasn’t in a position to help him accomplish his desires. Colton supposed that anything was possible, though he hadn’t fathomed this outcome. Jacob may have been right about Spike, but that’s why Colt killed him. He couldn’t have been out smarted by the largest idiot he knew. No. It wouldn’t do to have his subordinates knowing that he had been blindsided by an old mate. It was unfortunate that he lost one of his brethren, but he took pleasure in producing a new one.

Colton always reveled in siring a new vampire, enjoying the twisted fact that he was gifting one with life. Each time he did so, he felt as if he was passing along the same gift of which he received many years ago. Besides, it was more than lovely to have a partner to wreak havoc with. To share the gruesome victories and devastation over humans.

The transformation process took time and much nourishment. A new vampire needs to feed often, to replenish the fluid that was taken during the exchange, and to grow stronger. Being the Sire, Colton took it upon himself to be responsible for the first feeding. Currently, the sun was brightly shining through the clouds, ready to sear any vampire willing to show itself. He would have to wait till sundown to find food for his newest member.

****

Spike strode over to the un-opened door, heavy boots pounding into the concrete beneath them, yelling, “I thought I told you to sod off until-,” with a hard jerk of the door handle, he stopped mid sentence, his features softening. “Oh. Buffy.”

“Until what, Spike?”

Buffy stood with purpose. Her arms folded over her chest and the risen brow told Spike everything he needed to know. She was pissed. Stepping aside to grant her passage, “Here. Come in. How you feelin’?”

The Slayer stepped inside, never faltering with the look she had perfected over the years. “Don’t avoid the question.”

He pushed the door closed with little effort, following Buffy until she stopped and turned around to face him. Nonchalantly, he brushed past her shoulder to sit in his favorite chair. “An wha’ question would that be luv?”

She knew he was playing dumb to get a rise out of her. The worst part was; he was damn good at it. He was the only one who could frustrate her so badly. Buffy sighed as she turned once again to face him, followed immediately by the rolling of her eyes, because they both knew his tactic was working. Time for a new approach, she thought.

“Look, I’m not here to yell at you, or accuse you of anything about what happened last night.” She recited with her saddened, hurt tone of voice and famous distraught look. Pausing for effect, she added, “But I need to learn about this new player in town because, obviously, I wasn’t prepared.”

Spike stayed silent for what seemed like minutes after Buffy spoke. How was it that she could bat her eyelashes or sport one frown and he jumped, ready to wrap himself around her finger? The worst part was that she was right to feel hurt. Or angry. He’d abused her trust for keeping the secret of Colt, and then there was the part where she could’ve been killed. Oh, and not to mention, she had overheard their small conversation of allegiance.

“Colton.” Spike said with a solemn tone. Standing up and motioning for Buffy to sit before he continued, “I’d wager you’ve already sussed out what breed of demon he is.”

Buffy had been quiet thus far, watching the mental war inside Spike’s head play across his face. When he offered her his spot on the chair, she sat attentively, waiting for the full of the story. As he spoke, he paced in front of her and she couldn’t help to think how cute the little quirk was. Though he spent most of his unlife being the Big Bad, Buffy found that there was a shy nervous side to Spike that softened his image. She felt a little special that she was the only one he shared it with.

When it dawned on Buffy that he had asked her a question and was waiting for a response, she nodded her head quickly. “Yeah, could feel the tingly vampire vibe a mile away. Actually, it must be on the fritz because since I’ve been here…,” she trailed off, suddenly noticing the empty bags pigs’ blood lying on the sarcophagus by the fridge.

Spike froze in mid-pace, swallowing hard as he followed her gaze to the blood he’d drunk before her arrival. Silently, he kicked himself. How could he be so daft as to leave those there?

“What is this?” Buffy demanded while standing to confront the, now, vampire. It was hard to imagine that he was in an alliance with another vampire, out for The Slayer’s blood, but the pain that stabbed her heart when actually seeing it before her eyes was worse. “So that’s it? An old buddy breezes into town and your back to the Slayer Killing game?”

Spike felt terrible. Guilty would have summed it up if he had a soul. What was the best way to approach such a question? When it came to him and Buffy, things seemed to have a habit of going the wrong way, so he remained silent. Only when he saw her eyes scan over his neck did he move. Pushing up the sleeve on his right arm revealed what she was looking for; a fresh bite mark on his wrist marred the pale skin.

Before she could stop it, there was the familiar sting of tears welling up in her eyes. No. She couldn’t cry. She couldn’t give him the satisfaction of that. So she did what she was best at with him and began to leave.

Like a leashed puppy, Spike scrambled after her. As soon as she opened the door, ready to make her exit, he put his palm on the door, and slammed it closed, effectively blocking her path. Before she could object any further, he took her off guard by spinning her shoulder around and pinning her against the cold metal. As he forced her to stay in place, all he wanted to do was kiss her quivering lips with a fervor of passion to show how much in love with her he really was. To convince her that no matter the circumstances, he could never harm her. However, for some reason, he was frozen. It was like his body wouldn’t act upon the minds request, which was probably a good thing because his head seemed to concoct the most terrible of plans. Instead, his lips began moving, “Just… hear me out, yeah?”

For a moment, Buffy thought he was going to kiss her. Watching his gaze jump between her eyes and lips, as if he was contemplating the options. In those few seconds, that was all she wanted. All she could think about. Every time he pressed his mouth to hers, the world simply fell away. It was like nothing else mattered or could touch her when she was lost in his devotion. And right now, she wished the world away so she could savor the time with the man she was falling in love with. He hadn’t though. Spike had asked her to listen while he explained. So, she complied with a slow nod of her head as her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “Okay.”

****

How long they sat in his crypt talking, well he did most of the talking, Spike had no idea. But being held up in a place with the girl he loved, while the sun kept him at bay, wasn’t too shabby of a deal. The way he figured, she hadn’t run off into the daylight where he couldn’t follow, so that was a good start. Then, the fact that she allowed him to speak his part without interrupting, except to clarify, was a delightful change. Spike begun the tale with all the knowledge of Colton he could recall. Starting with how he met the bloke and sired him because he saw himself in Colt, a shy pushover of a man. From there, Buffy got edited versions of the stories Spike felt had importance. Only when the chronological sequence reached present day did Buffy have much stronger reactions. He relayed just what it was that Colton was after by coming to Sunnydale, but she seemed to be more interested as to why he kept it a secret versus her life being at stake.

“So why hide it from me? We could have taken care of him before he became a problem in our life. Not only did you not even tell me my life was in danger, but I had to sit there and wonder why you kept sneaking around. I had to wonder what you were doing talking to a strange someone in the alley. I had to wonder when you were finally going to come clean from the lies.”

She had known? All along she had known. Of course, how could he be so dense? She waited for him to tell her because she trusted him, or had. “It’s not the best reason. Hell, if it’s even a reason at all, but… Remember how you told me of the council, and how they stripped your Slayer bits away?” Her confused nod gave him the go-ahead to continue, “You were lost without them. Couldn’t do the things you were used to. Things that had always come natural. For over a hundred years, I’ve been able to protect my own hide, nonetheless, the hides of the ones I care ‘bout. My whole world turned up-side down when you jumped to your death, Buffy. If it wasn’t for the promise of keeping Dawn safe, I’d be blowin’ in the wind somewhere. I couldn’t let that happen to you again, and its might selfish, but I couldn’t live through it again.”

The feelings he had for her were beautiful, but still something was ticking off the super independent side of her. Without much thought she blurted, “But we should have fought this. Together. You don’t have to protect me, Spike. I don’t want you to protect me, but to help me when I need it most. You have before, what’s changed?”

“Well, one small, major thing, I wasn’t human before. I wasn’t useless in a fight. I wasn’t a distraction for you to worry over,” Spike snapped back at Buffy, feeling a bit agitated about his weakness. “You let that pathetic excuse of a vamp get away jus’ the other night, ’cause one of ‘em got the best of me. Colton’s only here ‘cause of me, so it’s only right I tried to fix it, yeah?”

What he said made plenty of sense. He was newly human, not adjusted to not having the uber strength he was so accustomed to. Spike brought up the Cruciamentum the council put her through, and she remembered how powerless she felt, as if she was helpless. “Okay, so you played him… Right?”

“Suppose played ‘s a bit of an overstatement. But, yeah, pretended I wanted to join him so he’d trust me. Always was a stupid git,” Spike shook his head at Colton’s stupidity before continuing, “Plan was for me to get closer to you, so turnin’ you was simple, but since I was human, Colt came up with the brilliant plan of turnin’ me back for the big event. From there, I’ve jus’ been stallin’.”

“So you’re turned. Now what? Buffy tried for the non-obvious approach to bring up the subject she had been wanting to discuss from the get go, but failed miserably in her attempt.

A sad smile rose to his lips. He knew she would want the juicy details sooner or later, but he was hoping he could slide past this part. No such luck with Buffy he thought. When the girl had something on her mind, she’d go to the ends of the earth to get an answer. Looking down at the floor between them, Spike started talking about what exactly happened. “After last night, I knew Colt wasn’t takin’ to well to my trickery anymore. He would’ve killed you if… But I knew I didn’t have anymore time to come up with somethin’ clever. I paid off a vamp over at Willy’s to sire me.”

“How’d you know he’d actually follow through and not just kill you?” It wasn’t the real question she wanted to ask, but how was one suppose to pop out a question about having no soul?

At that, he looked up, “Believe it, or not, sweetheart, but I do still have some respect in the community.” Buffy cracked a smile at that, and he felt some the tensions lessen between them. “Was hopin’ to kill the bastard, an’ swallow up some of Red’s special mix before you even caught on to me not bein’ human.

“Why?” Buffy asked with genuine confusion.

“I’m not daft, luv,” Spike noted before his gaze burned into her. “I know you could never love me like this, a monster, but I think I’ve got a real chance at winning you with a beatin’ heart. That’s wha’ you want, and that’s wha’ I’ll do.”

Her eyes grew wider, and again that familiar burn of tears stung at her eyes. Buffy was motionless. Spike’s proclamations were never ending. Was she terrible for always telling him how she could never love him because he was a soulless creature? She was beginning to think so. Being with him the past few days, and she was already allowing feelings to develop to entire new levels. Come to find out he may of not even gotten his soul during the transformation, and she was back to thinking he wasn’t good enough? She needed to reevaluate all her previous, judgmental, thoughts before responding. So, she did the only logical thing she could think of, and kissed him. It wasn’t like previous encounters with Spike, where they tore at each other with a hunger, but a soft, almost sensual touch of their lips. Her world could take a new turn if she just let things happen instead of putting up a fight, and at this moment she realized how sweet it could be.





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