It was a perfect night for a vampire. The air was crisp, allowing specific scents to be tracked and pinpointed without the many distractions of others drifting about. The temperature was still warm enough for the human variety to be comfortable outside, posing as prey without realizing. The moon was casting strange shadows as the clouds passed by, giving any predator the advantage of stealth. Yes, everything about tonight was perfect for a vampire. But not him.
Almost twenty minutes had gone by since Spike had slipped away from the Scooby Gang. He sat on the banister of the small deck just outside the back door. Already, a pile of cigarettes rested in the grass below his dangling feet. His head had been filled with racing thoughts ever since the fight with Colton earlier that evening. Everything flitted through his head, including, his past to present memories, what could have happened if Buffy got the wrong end of Colt's fang tonight, how he and Buffy were suppose to act after it all, and if she still felt the same way as she did before. The latter was the one he spent most of his time on. Going back and forth about what she said the past few days and about what she said she felt about him just a few weeks ago. Disgusted. Disgusted for allowing herself to sleep with a soulless creature. He wasn't sure what the right thing to do was anymore. And was Colton right? Even if he did live out a human life, would it be without a soul? Would he tell Buffy that it was all a lie, or simply allow her to come to her own conclusions? God, he needed a drink. With all the pandemonium filling his noggin, he didn't hear the back door open.
“Spike?”
Turning his head to the side, he noticed Buffy standing beside him, the kitchen's light behind her made it look like she was glowing. “Buffy.” Swinging his legs over the rail, stepping onto the deck so that he could face her, “S' everything alright?”
“Yeah.” Buffy held a mug with both hands, stepping forward carefully, “I just- Well, I thought- Maybe-” My God, what is wrong with you? He's going to think you have a speech impediment!
The lines between his brows continued creasing as he tried waiting patiently for her to say what she was trying so hard to spit out. As he waited, he let his gaze drift away from her face and down to the mug she carried in her hands. Putting up all five of his digits in an attempt to stop her from, whatever it was she was trying to accomplish, “I understand. Why waste time, yeah?” Without speaking any further, he reached out, grabbing the cup from her grasp, and pouring its contents into his mouth.
She didn't stop him. She couldn't really. But her eyes opened widely as he took the mug from her and began drinking. She thought it was comical the way his own eyes went big after the first big gulp, but he continued sucking down the liquid until it was empty. When he slowly lowered the glass from his lips, she had to hold back a giggle. “So...”
“So.” Spike ran his fingertips through his hair, “Well, tha' wasn't what I thought it would be.”
It was too hard to keep it in. Buffy finally cracked a smile, reaching up with her index finger to gently wipe away the crimson traces outlining his upper lip, “I noticed.”
Spike could tell she was holding in her amusement, not by much, but when she pulled her hand away, he couldn't help but join in the mirth. They both erupted into laughter for numerous reasons. “When did this become so hard, luv?”
“I don't know.” Though her smile still shone through, she was able to sober herself with the thought of Spike's question. Why was it so hard to talk to him all of a sudden? She had no real answer; instead she decided to be honest like she should have from the beginning. She thought it was best to start with something easy. “I just thought maybe you were hungry.”
“Thanks. Was rather delicious actually,” Spike told her as he set the mug on the top of the wooden railing.
“I was going for remarkably tasty, but delicious will do. I added some stuff on a trail basis. A smidge of ginger and pinch cayenne pepper.” This was going well, keep it simple and casual.
“Where's the magically enhanced tea that Red mixed up earlier? Thought you were ridin' on that so I'd be human again.” Spike rushed out the words without thinking.
She blinked. Somehow simple just took a death defying leap. “Spike...,” she breathed, “Tara told me that even when you were walking around with a beating heart,” she paused once more in hopes of gaining courage. “Spike, you never got your soul back.”
No doubt now that Colton had been correct. Something inside Spike ignited. “So I guess your gesture with the blood jus' now was a peace offering, that it? Kick ol' Spike to the curb after learnin' the truth.”
Buffy shook her head, “Actually, I thought I would come out here to tell you you're a moron!” Spike seemed to respond to her name calling because he shut his mouth with a click of his teeth. “Yeah, you! I wanted to tell you that taking that potion again doesn't matter to me! The past few days have shown me exactly what you’re capable of!”
“So all the right things I did by you doesn't matter to you?! That's jus' great! Tell a fella you care for em', an tell em' you-”
“Can you shut up?! I am trying to tell you that I was stupid!”
“Oh. Well go on then.”
“I was dumb. Dumb to think that your soul had an impact on your feelings.” Buffy was able to calm herself down, taking his hand with hers, “Spike, I want you to do what you want. If you want to stay like this or if you want to drink that stuff, it doesn't matter to me. The past few days have been... amazing. I didn't see that before, I didn't want to, but I do now. I love you.”
How could he be so daft? Why did he always jump to conclusions instead of letting her speak? He really thought he deserved a good walloping right about now. Spike knew if he spoke, he could potentially ruin the moment even further. Instead he brought her hand to his lips, kissing her palm gently. “I'm sorry.”
Buffy looked up through her lashes, shivering from all the emotions running inside her. Before she knew it, she wrapped her arms around his neck; his hands gripped her waist tightly, pulling her against his chest. Spike steadied her as she rose up on her tip-toes, allowing their lips to join in a light kiss. He held her there as she turned her head slightly to nuzzle his neck. “Stay here tonight.”
That caught him off guard. Reeling his head back so he could see her face, “Here?” Buffy wanted him to stay with her at her house? With all her friends inside knowing? Did they know how strong her feelings for him were?
“Unless you don't want to-,” she hurried to say.
“Don' be silly, Luv. Course I will.”
****
Every night just kept getting better and better. Spike wondered if the time spent with her would always keep trumping the last. After their moments outside, she took his hand in hers, leading him inside. She deliberately stopped in the living room where the gang was still talking about the big night, and told them they were going upstairs because she was tired after everything that had transpired.
He stayed quiet the entire trip to her room, only speaking once the door was closed. They talked about whatever came to their minds as Buffy got ready for sleep. Mostly frivolous things, but once or twice Buffy casually mentioned coming home to him after work. He didn't dig for more, but couldn't help but wonder if she was already thinking about living together. That topic was all he thought about until she came back from the bathroom. He built elaborate schemes in his mind about the daily domestic lives they would lead together.
With her nightly routine finished, she stepped back into her room. Yawning loudly, Buffy put her hand over her mouth, “Hey.” She walked over to the side of the bed he was sitting, his pants the only article of clothing left on him. Lifting her left leg to rest beside his thigh, then the right to fully straddle him. Spike's hands slid to her back, keeping her steady. Buffy bowed her head, her lips seeking his. Spike broke from the kiss first, gently rubbing his bottom lip along her jaw until he reached the tender skin at her neck.
He sucked lightly at the pulse point before nipping between kisses. For a moment, he thought she tilted her head back to moan from pleasure, but when he heard another yawning sigh, he stopped. “You're right knackered, pet,” he cooed into her.
Buffy made an apologetic face, “Sorry, I just-”
Pulling back he said, “Ssh. It's alright. Sleep. We have all day tomorrow.” Without waiting for a response, Spike lifted her off him, and onto the bed. One arm was wrapped around her, pulling her into him, as the other stroked her upper arm. Though he wanted nothing more than to make love to her in her own bedroom, a personal space of hers, which she invited you into, he reminded himself, he decided holding her close throughout the night while she slept would be just as gratifying.
****
Birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and the smell of something burning filled the air. Buffy was sound asleep, something she wasn't able to be accustomed to being The Slayer. A rattle near by broke her from slumber, but she refused to open her eyes because she knew if she did she would never get back to sleep. She could feel the light warming her skin and a burning smell filling her nostrils. Buffy sat up suddenly after realizing the weight of his arm was no longer around her. Spike! Oh God, I forgot the close the blinds! She thought wildly as her eyes did a quick scan of the room. The space next to her was empty, but no dust. She turned her head around, spotting him next to the window, his hand still on the shades' string. Overreact much?
“Rise and shine, sweetheart.” Spike smiled, taking a few strides towards her before giving her a small kiss on the forehead. “Red's making breakfast. Or smells like she's tryin' anyway.”
“Good morn-,” Buffy cut herself off, “Spike?”
Raising a brow, he responded, “Buffy?”
“You have no shirt.”
His other brow went down, confused he shook his head, “I was goin' to put one on before we nibble.”
“No. I mean you have no shirt, no blanket, and your standing in front of a window. A window that is letting in big buckets of sun.”
Spike's mouth stretched into a smile. “I thought about what you said. Last night? An' I kept comin' back to the fact that I couldn't just let the opportunity of being with you in the daylight slip away. I know it means tha' I won't be the strongest fighter at your side, but if that nancy boy you call a friend, Xander, can stand up to the best of 'em, I think with training I got a right shot. Jus' need to learn the strength and limitations of what being a human is.”
Buffy launched into his embrace, crushing her lips to his in a wild haste. “I don't know what to say.”
“Don' need to,” he said, resuming the kiss, pushing past her lips with his tongue, deepening the passion. “I love you, Buffy.”
Big eyes stared up at him, her bottom lip quivering ever so slightly, “I love you too.” She continued the kiss for a moment before breaking away and slightly shaking her head. “You never stop amazing me. What you've done? What you've given up?”
Spike glanced at the floor, almost bashful. “If it means a chance at us...” Taking a breath to gain control of his emotions, “Then none of the rest matters.”
“But it does.” She reached up to his face, allowing her fingertips to gently brush along his jaw before cupping his cheek. “It matters to me. And I won't forget it.”
Before they could continue where they left off, the bedroom's door swung open. “Food's ready!” Dawn announced before rushing off in a clatter down the stairs.
Buffy looked down, almost disappointed, “We have all day though, right?”
“I'm not goin' anywhere, Luv.”
With his declaration of his devotion, and her want to make it work, Buffy knew what he said was true. Spike wasn't going anywhere, but more importantly, neither was she.
The End.