Who Am I? by TammyAsh666
Summary: Angel and Spike find Buffy fighting vampires in LA, but something is wrong with her. Will Spike be able to help her before it's too late?
Categories: General Fics Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 5141 Read: 6705 Published: 06/01/2005 Updated: 06/04/2005

1. Prologue by TammyAsh666

2. Chapter 1 by TammyAsh666

3. Chapter 2 by TammyAsh666

4. Chapter 3 by TammyAsh666

Prologue by TammyAsh666
Author's Notes:
This is probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever come up with and I know it pretty much won’t make a lot of sense at first, but I decided to give it a try to see if anyone would like it. It’s not a long story because I couldn't think of much to do with it. Anyway, I guess this would take place some time after “You’re Welcome” and things are a little different. Okay, hope ya’ll won’t be too confused. Please let me know what you think=)
Prologue

Spike was in Angel’s office annoying him as always. He was bored and needed something to do. Angel slammed his hand on his desk. “Spike, I really don’t have time to deal with you right now.” He said and Spike rolled his eyes.

“Come on, Peaches. You have all the time in the world. Nothing is happening right now.” Angel was about to say something else, when Gunn walked in.

“We have a situation.” He said and Angel seemed relieved.

“What’s going on?” Angel wondered.

“There’s a major vamp problem in the alley behind the Hyperion. My source said that he spotted a blonde girl fighting them. He thinks she might be a Slayer.” Angel and Spike looked at each other when they heard that.

“Alright, let’s check it out.” Angel said as he walked out of the office, with Spike right behind him.


* * * * *


They got to their destination in ten minutes and went to where they heard the commotion. They found a small, blonde girl taking on a group of vampires by herself and she didn’t seem like she needed any help. They watched her, until she staked her last vampire and dusted herself off. She turned in their direction and it was then that they recognized her. Her hair was longer and darker than usual, but they would know her anywhere. Spike spoke up first as he walked closer to her. “Buffy?” She raised her eyebrows at him and without even thinking about it, he enveloped her in a big hug. “I’ve missed you, love.” He said as he kissed her hair. She didn’t hug him back and pulled away after a few seconds. She looked at him with a confused expression on her face as she stepped away and Spike didn’t know what was wrong, until she spoke.

“Do I know you?” Spike now raised his eyebrows.

“You don’t know who I am?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No, should I?” He didn’t know what else to say, when Angel walked next to him.

“Buffy, it’s Angel. Do you know who I am?” She looked at him for a second and then shook her head again.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know you either. Maybe you have the wrong person.” Angel looked at Spike.

“Something isn’t right.” He said and Spike rolled his eyes.

“You think? Something happened to her memory.” Spike said as he looked back at Buffy. “Do you know who Dawn is?” Buffy nodded that time.

“Yeah, she’s my sister. Why wouldn’t I know who she is?” Spike seemed even more confused, but he wasn’t finished yet.

“What about Willow and Xander?” Buffy nodded again.

“Of course, they’re my best friends. What’s with the 20 questions?” Spike looked at Angel.

“Well, she seems a little like herself. It’s just us she doesn’t seem to know.” Angel decided to try himself.

“Why are you here, Buffy?” Buffy was confused again and wondered how these two strangers knew her name.

“I was supposed to meet someone here, when I got jumped by those vampires.” Angel nodded accepting her answer.

“So, you still know that you’re the Slayer?” Buffy wondered how he knew that.

“Yeah, but I’m not the only Slayer anymore. You guys are really starting to creep me out. How the hell do you know all this stuff about me, when I don’t know anything about you?” Spike was about to say something, when a voice in the distance stopped him.

“Buffy, there you are!” The new person exclaimed and Buffy smiled when she saw the man running over to her. She gave him a hug and he kissed her head as he smiled at the two vampires, causing Angel and Spike to glare at him when they recognized him. “Well, what do we have here? These guys bothering you?” He asked her and she shook her head.

“No, let’s just get out of here.” She said and he nodded as he looked at the two vampires one more time, loving the fact that they looked so shocked.

“Catch you boys later.” He said with a wink and Angel and Spike just stood there as they watched Buffy walk away with Lindsey. They both had the same thought in their heads. What the hell was going on?
Chapter 1 by TammyAsh666
Author's Notes:
I couldn't resist putting Spike's speech from "Touched" in here. It's a pretty good thing to remember. I obviously don't own it or anything for that matter. I have to keep telling myself that. Hope you guys like it=)
Chapter 1

They got back to Wolfram and Hart and both were upset. “What the hell is he doing with her? I know he’s responsible for the way she was acting.” Angel ranted when they got back to his office. Spike shrugged.

“You know him better than I do. The git had me believing that he had visions and was sent by the Powers to help me. Still can’t believe I fell for that.” Spike mumbled.

“This is probably his revenge on both of us. He knows how much Buffy means to us.” Angel said.

“He should just be going after you. I never did anything to the bloke. He's the one that played me.” Angel rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think that matters. I know Lindsey doesn’t really want either of us here. He still wants to be in charge of Wolfram and Hart and now he’s using Buffy to get to us. I have to know what he did to her. How can he just erase us from her memory?” Spike shrugged again.

“How the bloody hell should I know?” Angel looked out his window for a few seconds, before turning back to Spike.

“We have to find her. Make her believe us somehow.” Spike smiled.

“Oh, could we kidnap her? Should be fun.” Angel glared at Spike.

“Do you think you could be serious for once? This is Buffy we’re talking about. We have to help her. She doesn’t know what Lindsey is capable of. He probably has her under some spell that gets her to trust him.” Spike nodded.

“So, what do we do?” Angel thought about it.

“I’m going to find her.” He said as he walked out of his office.

“Right, I’ll just wait here then.” Spike called after him.


* * * * *


Angel headed to the beach about an hour later, where he was told by his source that Buffy might be. He also knew how much she always loved the ocean. He looked around and didn’t see her anywhere, when he heard the familiar voice behind him. “Nice night, isn’t it?” Angel turned around and growled as he grabbed Lindsey’s throat.

“Where is she?” Lindsey laughed as he tried to talk.

“Kill me and you’ll never find her.” Angel let him go, but kept the scowl on his face.

“What did you do to her?” Lindsey shrugged.

“Didn’t do anything. Buffy finally knows what it’s like to be with a real man.” He stated.

“Somehow I don’t think she’s with you because she wants to be. You have her under a spell.” Lindsey shrugged again.

“Think what you want. Whatever helps you to sleep at night or day in your case. I have all I need.” He said with a smile and Angel really didn’t want to ask his next question.

“You slept with her?” Lindsey’s smile got even wider.

“Did more than that. She’s quite the spitfire. I could hardly keep up.” Angel lunged at Lindsey and punched him in the face and he fell back as he rubbed his jaw.

“You won’t be touching her again.” Angel said in a surprisingly calm voice and Lindsey only laughed.

“I think that’s for her to decide. Right now, I think she would choose me.” Lindsey said with a smile. “Guess we’ll see what happens.” He stated before he ran off and Angel let him go. He didn’t know what else to do.


* * * * *


Spike was waiting around Wolfram and Hart for Angel to get back and all the waiting was starting to get to him. He couldn’t wait anymore and decided to go for a walk. He had to get out of that place. He was walking around the city for a bit, when he then spotted Buffy walking out of a store. He hid behind a wall and waited for her to walk by. When she did, he grabbed her arm and placed his hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming. “It’s alright, love. I won’t hurt you.” He said as he pulled his hand away and she turned to look at him.

“God, what is your deal?” She asked and Spike realized how much he missed her.

“I need to talk to you.” Buffy backed away from him.

“You need to leave me alone. Are you a stalker or something?” Spike shook his head.

“You need help, Buffy. You can’t trust Lindsey. He’s not who you think he is.” Buffy couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Are you serious? He’s my boyfriend, of course I trust him. He told me that I couldn't trust you or that friend of yours. I don’t know who you think you are, but you don’t know me. Just stay away from me.” She said as she started to back away again and Spike couldn’t let her leave. He grabbed her and pulled her toward him. She tried to struggle, but that only made him hold on tighter. He took the rag with the chloroform that he had out of his pocket and placed it on her mouth, until she finally passed out. He then put it back in his pocket. He knew that would come in handy, incase he ran into her. He picked her up and cradled her in his arms.

“Sorry about this, pet. You didn’t give me a choice.” He said as he placed a kiss on her forehead and headed back to Wolfram and Hart.


* * * * *


“You can’t keep me here.” Buffy said after she woke up to find herself chained to a bed. Spike took her back to Wolfram and Hart and brought her to Angel’s room, instead of taking her to his apartment.

“Actually I can. I have to make you realize the truth.” Buffy glared at him.

“Yeah, I’m realizing that you’re psychotic. Let me go!” She exclaimed as she pulled on the chains and he shook his head.

“Can’t do that, love. Not even you would be able to break these babies. So, I would suggest that you stop trying if you don’t want to hurt yourself.” Buffy gave up and sat back in the bed.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked in a small voice and Spike’s look softened.

“I want to help you remember. You have to focus, love. There has to be some part of you that still knows who I am.” Buffy thought about it.

“I admit you do look familiar, but that’s it. I just figured you had one of those faces.” Spike nodded when Angel then walked into the room and grabbed Spike’s arm. He pulled him away to talk in private.

“What did I say about the kidnapping?” He asked and Spike shrugged.

“I got her here, didn’t I?” Angel sighed.

“Did you have to chain her up?” Spike then let a smile from on his face.

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve used chains on her.” Angel rolled his eyes.

“I’m not even gonna ask. Have you made any progress?” He wondered and Spike shook his head.

“Not much, she thinks Lindsey’s her boyfriend and that I’m psychotic.” He explained.

“Well, she got part of it right.” Spike glared at him, but didn’t say anything. “You stay here and try to get through to her. I’m going to look for Lindsey. He’s the only one that knows what’s wrong with her, whether I like it or not.” Spike nodded as Angel left. He went back into the bedroom to join Buffy. He found her with a glazed look on her face and she seemed to be lost in thought. Spike wondered what she was thinking about.

*I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls. 100+ years and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: You. When I say "I love you" it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.*
Chapter 2 by TammyAsh666
Chapter 2

Buffy broke out of her thoughts to look at him. “Spike?” She whispered. “That’s your name, right?” Spike nodded and remained silent. “You’re a vampire?” Spike nodded again.

“I see that’s the first thing you remember.” Buffy nodded also.

“You have a soul? I didn’t know that was possible.” Spike sat down next to her.

“Yeah, Angel and I are both with the soul having. Do you remember anything else?” Buffy shook her head.

“I can’t, my head hurts. I don’t understand any of this.” She said and Spike reached out and massaged her temples. She closed her eyes and felt comfort from his touch. She opened her eyes a few seconds later to look into his. He then caressed her cheek.

“Maybe this will help.” He said as he brought his lips closer to hers and kissed her. She kissed him back after a few seconds. She suddenly pulled away and shook her head.

“No, I can’t. I still don’t know you.” She said as she looked into his eyes again. “I’m with Lindsey. I...I love him.” She claimed, not seeming so sure. Spike let out a sigh. He knew he was starting to make progress, but it wasn’t enough.

“I love you, Buffy. I should have come to you the second I realized I could. I keep thinking that if I did none of this would have happened. You remember those last few nights we spent together in Sunnydale before the battle? You remember when you said you loved me? I may not have believed it then, but I would give anything to hear it right now. You have to remember, Buffy.” Buffy looked away from him and then felt tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t. I don’t know what you want from me.” Spike cupped her cheek and brought her gaze back on his.

“I only want you.” Buffy was about to say something else, when she suddenly felt dizzy. She held her head to try and stop the spinning.

“What’s wrong with me?” She asked him before she then passed out on the bed. Spike went closer to her to feel that she still had a pulse, but it felt weak. He grabbed the key for the chains and unchained her as he felt her head. She was burning up and Spike was really starting to get worried. He figured that Lindsey was the only one that would know what was wrong with her. He really hoped Angel would hurry up and find him before it was too late.


* * * * *


Spike was sitting with Buffy when Angel finally walked in, pulling Lindsey with him. He let him go once they were inside and Spike got up to join them. “It's about bloody time. We have a problem.” He said as he glared at Lindsey and it was then that Lindsey noticed Buffy lying on the bed. He moved to her side.

“What happened to her?” He wondered and Spike shrugged while Angel was surprised by the concern in Lindsey’s voice.

“She just passed out and she has a fever. I figured you would know what was wrong since you did this to her in the first place.” Lindsey shook his head.

“I didn’t do this. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He said as he felt Buffy’s head and tried to talk to her. “Buffy, can you hear me? Come on, sweetheart. It’s time to wake up now.” He said as he gently rubbed her head. Buffy then opened her eyes to look up at him.

“Lindsey?” She whispered and he smiled at her as he placed a kiss on her lips.

“Hey, baby. How do you feel?” Buffy closed her eyes and then opened them again.

“I feel really weak. What’s wrong with me?” She wondered.

“I don’t know, we’ll figure it out. You just rest, okay?” Buffy nodded and closed her eyes again. Lindsey turned to look at the two vampires, who had shocked expressions on their faces.

“You're in love with her?” Angel wondered, not sure if he believed it. Lindsey looked at him and then back at Buffy.

“At first I did this to get back at you, but now things are different.” He said as he looked back at Angel. “I wanted to rid her mind of both of you because I knew how much it would hurt you. I wanted you both to suffer knowing that the woman you loved didn’t know who you were. I never knew that I would end up falling for her. I guess you two know how easy it is to love her. She’s pretty amazing.” He said with a smile and his smile then faded when he thought about the woman lying on the bed. “I never meant for it to go this far. I didn’t know she would get sick.” He told them.

“Funny thing about magic, there’s always consequences.” Spike said, repeating himself from a few years ago.

“You do know how to fix it, right? Put her memories back?” Angel asked and Lindsey sighed.

“I know of a spell. If I do it, she won’t want anything to do with me anymore. I don’t think I could handle that.” Spike glared at him.

“Would you rather her be dead?” Spike stated in a harsh tone and Lindsey shook his head.

“No, I’ll do it.” He said as he walked over to the bed and sat beside Buffy, who was still sleeping. He looked at her and gave her another kiss on the lips. “I’m so sorry, Buffy. I know you’ll hate me when you wake up, but I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I really do love you.” He said and Angel and Spike were surprised at the affection he seemed to have for her. They just hoped that whatever he did would work. Lindsey then placed his hand on Buffy’s head and closed his eyes. He said the spell in Latin that he knew by heart and a light formed around Buffy. He pulled away when he was done saying the spell and watched as the light disappeared. Buffy still remained in the same position and they were worried that it didn’t work. Lindsey turned to look at Angel and Spike. “It takes time. We just have to wait for her to wake up.” They both nodded and Lindsey then turned back to Buffy. He really hoped she would be okay and that she wouldn’t end up hating him for what he did.
Chapter 3 by TammyAsh666
Chapter 3

Buffy woke up a few minutes later and looked at the faces around her. Angel was the first one that moved to her side and held her hand. “Hey, how do you feel?” He asked her with a worried expression on his face.

“Okay, I guess. For someone that had most of her memories sucked out of her head.” Angel sighed in relief.

“So, you got your memories back then?” Buffy nodded as she stared at him.

“Yeah, more than I thought I would. Like a certain memory about you being human and giving it up just so I could be safe.” Angel was surprised that she knew that and also looked embarrassed. “We’ll talk later.” She told him and he nodded. Buffy sat up and her eyes rested on Lindsey. He looked away from her gaze feeling ashamed. Buffy almost felt sorry for him, when her eyes finally landed on Spike. Spike was caught in her gaze and he didn’t know what she would do, when she finally stood up and went over to him. She looked at him for a few seconds before wrapping her arms around him in a hug. Spike was surprised and then started to hug her back. “I remember everything.” She whispered in his ear. “I meant what I said, Spike. I love you.” Spike felt tears in his eyes as he held her tighter. Angel could hear what she said, but he didn’t say anything about it. He looked at Lindsey.

“I think we should let them talk. I’m not done with you yet.” Lindsey sighed and followed Angel out of the room, when a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned to look at Buffy.

“I remember everything that happened with us. I know what you did was for the wrong reasons, but I also know that you had real feelings for me and you were caring towards me. I want you to know that I don’t hate you, but I’m not in love with you either. What we had wasn’t real. I’m not exactly a fan of spells, especially when they’re being used on me.” She said as she looked at Spike and then back at Lindsey. “What I have with Spike is real. I love him and I should hate you for trying to take that away from me, but I’m not one to hold a grudge. You did the right thing in the end and that’s all that matters. I don’t want to see you again, Lindsey. We’re good right now, but if you come near me again you’re going to see what a Slayer is really all about. You got that?” Lindsey nodded and looked at her one more time.

“I’m sorry about everything, for what it’s worth.” He told her before he walked out of the room. Buffy sighed and turned back to Spike, who was now sitting on the bed. She gave him a small smile and sat on his lap. He smiled in return and wrapped his arms around her.

“Gave us all quite a scare, love.” He said as he kissed her cheek.

“Sorry about that.” He started to trail kisses down her neck, when she suddenly pushed him away. “We have to talk.” Spike sighed.

“I knew it was too good to be true.” Buffy got off of his lap and sat next to him on the bed.

“What I said to you was true, Spike. I know you’ve been back for a while and I wanna know why you didn’t contact me.” Spike knew they would have to have this conversation.

“I wanted to see you, Buffy. You have no idea how much. You were mostly all I thought about since I’ve been back. I just didn’t know how to face you. I was a pillock to put it simply. So worried that you would have moved on and rejected me. I didn’t think I could have handled that. I never stopped loving you.” He said as he kissed her lips. “Love you so bloody much.” He whispered as he kissed her again with more passion. Buffy kissed him back and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He was soon massaging her tongue with his. Spike pulled away a little while later because she needed to breathe and he rested his head on hers. “God, Buffy. It’s been too bloody long. Don’t know how I lasted this long without you.” Buffy looked into his eyes and caressed his cheek.

“Let’s not let that happen again, okay? We’re together now and that’s all that matters.” Spike nodded and kissed her again. Angel walked back in the room at that moment and cleared his throat. Spike rolled his eyes and Buffy moved away from him to look at Angel. She then glared at him. “I need to talk to you.” Spike wondered why her voice was harsh all of a sudden and why Angel seemed to be afraid.

“Buffy, I don’t think this is the best time.” He said which only seemed to anger her more.

“The hell it isn’t. Why would you do it, Angel? I know all about the Shanshu Prophecy. It’s funny that you’re working so hard to become human now when you had the chance years ago and you gave it up. What, I wasn’t enough for you?” Angel shook his head.

“You know that’s not true. I did it because I loved you. I could have never protected you as a human, Buffy. You know that.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“I am so sick of everyone thinking they have to protect me all the time. I can protect myself, been doing it for a long time now. This is why it never worked with us or why it never worked with Riley. Spike is the only one that doesn’t treat me like glass, like I’m gonna break or something. He’s my equal, he knows that I can protect myself and he never treated me like a child. I know I was technically a child when we were together, but that is so not the point.” Spike stood up when she was done and walked over to them.

“Let me get this straight. You were somehow made human years ago and you gave that up? You had Buffy without the damn curse being a problem and you threw that away? You really are a bloody idiot.” Angel glared at Spike.

“This doesn’t concern you.” Buffy ignored Spike and kept her attention on Angel.

“Why is being human so important to you now when it wasn’t then? You at least owe me that.” She wondered.

“I guess I wasn’t ready then. I know I had more to accomplish.” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest.

“How do you even know that the Prophecy is about you anyway? You’re not the only vampire with a soul anymore, incase you haven’t noticed.” That got a smirk out of Spike as they both stared at Angel.

“It has to be me. I’ve done a lot more than he has.” He said the last part quietly, but Buffy heard him and she wasn’t pleased.

“You don’t know anything about what Spike has done. He’s just as much worthy of it as you are, maybe even more. He didn’t get cursed with a soul, he fought for it. What other vampires do you know of that has ever done that? Spike is a true champion and look at you. Working at this place. It has evil written all over it. Harmony is your secretary for crying out loud. That’s just wrong on so many levels.” She stated and Angel was starting to lose his temper.

“That wasn’t my choice.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Like that makes a difference. I still care about you, Angel. But as long as you’re working for Wolfram and Hart, we’re not on the same side. This place can’t be trusted.” She finished and Angel thought about what he could say to that.

“I can understand that you don’t trust this place, but you have to trust me. Trust me when I say that I’m planning on doing a lot of good here. I want to make things right, anyway I can. You have to trust me, Buffy.” He said in a pleading tone and Buffy’s look softened a little.

“I want to trust you, Angel. Don’t disappoint me.” Angel nodded and figured that was the best he would get from her. She then grabbed Spike’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Spike smiled at her. He was proud of her for standing up to Angel like that. She has really grown up. “Spike’s coming back to Rome with me. I’m not about to leave him here to get corrupted by this place. I’m sure you can manage without him.” Spike was surprised that she wanted him to go with her. He only gave her a smile as they both headed to the door. Buffy stopped to look at Angel one more time. “Take care, Angel.” Was all she said before she walked out of the room with Spike. Angel watched them go and then sat on his bed to do some serious thinking. Hell, let’s face it. He was brooding. He decided that he would gain Buffy’s trust again. He knew that he was doing good at Wolfram and Hart. He just had to keep believing that and maybe Buffy would start to trust him again. He couldn’t believe that she would take Spike with her, even though a part of him was glad to finally be rid of the bleached pest. Angel couldn’t think about the two of them together. He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. He needed a drink.

The End


Well, I said this was short. I really didn't know what else to do with this. I wish I could have given you guys more of a Spuffy ending, but writer's block is a bitch. I hope I didn't make Buffy too harsh. I just think that some things needed to be said. Thanks for reading=)
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