Prologue

The rain had cleared up, and Wesley and Angel stepped out of the distillery-- with Dana strapped on to the gurney. Angel’s men had been behind him, all of them dressed in black and rifles slung to their backs.

“Chain her in the van,” Angel ordered them. “I want armed guards riding with her in the back.”

Andrew walked out of the darkness past the van where Angel’s men waited to load slayer.

“That’s all right, boys,” Andrew said, calmly. “I'll take it from
here.”

“What?” Angel asked—dumbfounded, how this pip squeak could be asking him for anything was beyond him.

“Totally appreciate your help on this on--big guy. “Never could've found her without out you, but you got enough problems of your own to worry about.”

Angel wasn't about to hand over Dana to Andrew. He started to walk around the boy, holding onto gurney with one hand,

“Get out, stay the way, Andrew.”

Angel gritted his teeth, he didn't have time to be dealing with this shit now, not to mention Andrew was starting to bug him.
Andrew didn't listen and made a bold move to step in Angel’s way.
“She’s a slayer. That means she’s ours!”

Angel looked Andrew over like he was nuts. Angel was pissed now.

“Yeah. Sorry. Not how it works.”

Looking over at the guards Angel ordered, “Load her up. Don't hesitate to restrain her if she so much as...”

He was interrupted by Andrew stepping right up in his face.

“No. I don't think you…heard me, Angel.”

Andrew felt confident now more than ever. Just then several girls stepped out of the shadows, there were young, no more than fifteen or sixteen, and already showing signs that they were beyond their years. They slowly stepped behind Andrew, backing him up. Angel’s men stepped back, not wanting to deal with a Slayer.

“Think we're just gonna let you take her back to your evil stronghold?” “Well, as they say in Mexico…No. We’re not gonna…let you.” Andrew realized he must look stupid right about now, but he didn't falter.

“She’s psychotic,” Angel didn't back down an inch, “and I'm not turning over to…you.”

“You don't have a choice. Check the view screen, Uhura. I got 12 Vampire slayers behind me, and not one of them has ever dated you.” Andrew stifled a chuckle. “She’s coming with us one way or another.”

Angel smirked, boys got guts, “You're way outta your league. I'll just clear this with Buffy.”

Andrew smiled as if he knew something the vampire didn’t know.

“Where do you think my orders came from?” “News flash—nobody in our camp trusts you anymore.”

Andrew shook his head, dismissing any hopes Angel may have had.

“Nobody.” “You work for Wolfram and Hart. Don’t yourself…we’re not on the same side.” “Thank you for your help…but, uh…we got it.”

He gestures to the girls to get Dana. A few of the girls rolled Dana away while the others closest to Andrew watched Angel, making sure he didn’t try anything. A few moments later, the girls and Andrew disappeared into the darkness.

“So that’s it,” Wesley questioned Angel. “You’re just gonna let him take her?”

“She’s one of theirs, they can handle it, besides…” Angel paused distractedly, still staring into the darkness. “You heard the man. We got enough problems of our own to worry about.” Angel was hurt that Buffy no longer trusted him, but he knew that would be the price to pay when he accepted work with Wolfram and Hart.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The head of the bed was up high enough for Spike to sit up and see who might come into the room. Fred had stuffed a few pillows behind his head so that he could be comfortable. Spike recovering from what the psychotic slayer had done to him.

She believed Spike was responsible for her parents death and her torture. Even though Spike hadn’t done it, he felt responsible for it nonetheless. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for all the killing that he’d done when he was without a soul.

He sighed deeply, knowing that there was nothing he could do for the young girl, she was too far-gone. He hoped that somehow someone was able to save her from her torment.

Angel knocked on Spike’s door, taking the blonde vampire away from his thoughts. Looking up at his grand-sire. He was none to pleased.

“Come to tap-dance on the patient, have we, doc?” he said, sarcastically. I’d give you the finger, but apparently I won’t have the motor skills till the drugs wear off.”

“A lot of pain?” Angel asks, walking in the room, ignoring Spike’s sardonic remark.

“More than I’d like. But not as much as you would... just what I deserve,” Spike said, sullenly.

Angel sighs, “I didn’t say that.”

“No. I did,” Spike responded, unsure of himself.
“The lass thought I killed her family, and I’m supposed to what, complain ‘cause hers wasn’t one of the hundreds of families I did kill? I’m not saying you’re right…’cause, uh…I’m physically incapable of saying that, but, uh…for a demon…I never did think that much about the nature of evil.” “No. Just threw myself in.” “Thought it was a party. I liked the rush. I liked the crunch. Never did look back at the victims.”

The vampire blinked slowly, reminiscing about the days when he was an evil soulless creature. That pain would always remain with him just as it would with his nemesis.

Angel was surprised that Spike was being so open and honest, so he figured he owed him that much in return.

”I couldn’t take my eyes off them, I was only in it for the evil.” “It was everything to me. It was art.” “The destruction of a human being.” “I would’ve considered Dana a masterpiece.”

Angel shifted a bit, referring to himself as Angelus and all the horrible things he had done pre-soul.

“What happens to her?” Spike asked, worried for the young girls safety, not to mention her sanity.

“I don’t know,” said Angel, worried as well. “Um, Andrew and the slayers took her. Didn’t trust us to help her.”

Would Angel be able to help with Wolfram and Hart behind him? He wasn’t so sure. The best place for Dana was with Buffy and Giles. They’d know how to help the girl, he tried reasoning with himself.

Spike smiled, “Andrew double-crossed us?” He chuckled, surprised by the little guy actions.

“That’s a good move. Hope for the little ponce yet.” “Though the tingling in my forearms tells me she’s too far-gone to help.” “She’s…one of us now…She’s a monster.”

“She’s an innocent victim.”

“So were we…once upon a time.”

“Once upon a time,” Angel echoed Spike’s statement.

The two vampires had come to an understanding, but both knew it would never become more than what it was. They hated each other, but would rely on each others instincts.

Later that evening, Angel was staring out the window of his penthouse, looking at the vastness that was LA, thinking about what Andrew had said. Buffy had lost all trust in him. He didn’t know how he’d ever make that up to her, or if he could at all.

He was trying to make a difference, but some how he wasn’t quite sure if he was, even after all this time. He was slowly losing his conviction. Angel didn’t know if he’d be able to help himself, let alone the people that needed him.

The elevator opened up, and out stepped Wesley. He was worried about Angel; no one had seen the chiseled chinned vampire since he left Spike’s hospital room. The bookish demon slayer figured that he’d find his boss sulking in his penthouse, and he was right. The big vamp was so preoccupied with his thoughts he never even heard his friend enter the room.

“Angel,” Wes tapped him on the shoulder.

Angel turned around, startled. “When did you come in?” Angel asked, surprised.

“A few minutes ago…didn’t you hear me?”
“No, I guess not; please sit down.” Finding a place to rest they say; quiet, wordless, each waiting for the other to speak.

“Angel,” Wes began, unsure of what he wanted to say. “Are we really making a difference here?” “Cause I just don’t know if we are.”

“What?” Angel wasn’t sure how to respond. This took him by surprise; he never figured that anyone would question the decisions he was making, especially his friends.

“Do you think we’re making a difference here?” Wes asked, regretting asking the question. Angel wasn’t looking so good, and didn’t want to press further in case his friend and boss decided to go off on him.

“I just don’t know,” Angel answered honestly. “I thought we were, but I don’t know what to think anymore.” “I just don’t have the drive to do this anymore; not since we took over Wolfram and Hart.”

Angel stood up and went to the window, looking out over L.A. once again. It was where he found peace when he didn’t think he had. Wesley sat there stunned, he didn’t know if he should respond, but he did understand where Angel was coming from. He too had lost his conviction but he still went on, helping the helpless. But it didn’t mean anything anymore, not like it had. They’d been seduced by Wolfram and Hart and Wesley didn’t know if they’d be able to get out from under it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Andrew bid farewell to the slayers before boarding a plane to London. Dana had been given a sedative so she wouldn’t wake up during the flight.

Once he knew she was taken care of he went to his seat in first class. He relaxed a bit. It took every ounce of courage he had to stand up to Angel. He hoped that he didn’t have to run into him again anytime soon. He didn’t know if he could stand up to him.

Smiling to himself Andrew remembered he got that cheap shot at Angel and it made him chuckle. Pulling out his cell he dialed a number and a few minutes later someone answered.

“She’s with me...I had her sedated.” “She should sleep for the rest of the flight.” Andrew listened to the caller at the other end before speaking once again.

“Something has come to my attention, I…We need to see Buffy, right away…I can’t tell you right now…No. It’s a matter that can not be discussed over the phone.”

He tried sounding like a real watcher, but he didn’t fool anyone, especially the person on the other in of the phone.

“No, it’s something that she’ll want to hear in person…I’m really not supposed to say anything…I was asked not to say anything, but it’s something she deserves to know.” “I am not at liberty to say, sir.”

Andrew held the phone out from his ear as the caller begun yelling.

“But I don’t think I can keep it from her.” Andrew squealed in excitement.

“Sorry. Its just exciting news.” “Oh, what the heck, Spike’s alive…Mr. Giles are you ok?” Giles had taken a drink at that very moment and begun to choke on it.

“Yes, I’m serious; I wouldn’t lie about this, not about Spike.” Andrew said with a big grin, thinking about Spike. He sat there quietly for a long moment. Another yell. “Oh sorry sir, ok fine, bye.” Andrew flipped the phone shut.

Giles yelled once or twice to get Andrew to listen and then proceeded tell him that they’d discuss what would be done when Andrew landed. Placing his cell back in his jacket, Andrew finally relaxed, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Giles set his drink down on his desk while still holding the receiver. He was shocked to say the least. He didn’t think he’d ever see the vampire again, especially since Buffy had told him Spike dusted in the process of saving the world. He realized he was still holding the receiver, he placed it back in the cradle of the phone.

“I can’t believe it; I just can’t believe it.” “He’s alive.” “How could this be?” He pushed his chair away from his desk, and began pacing the room. Removing his glasses a few times to clean the already clean lens, he placed them back on his face.
He didn’t notice his secretary as she entered the room carrying large manila envelope.

“Who’s alive, Mr. Giles?” The petite young redhead asked.

Giles turned around. “Oh Ms. Rice. What was the question?”

“Who is alive?” She asked again.

Giles didn’t quite know how to answer her. He took a deep breath and answered the only way he could, without giving it away.

“An old friend.” He smiled at himself. He’d never really considered Spike a friend, but he’d come through for Buffy more times than Giles could remember, even when he didn’t have his soul. Though he doubted that Spike would see it that way, seeing how he handed Spike over to Robin Woods for torture. The ramifications of what he did, damaged his relationship with the woman he considered his daughter.

The young woman smiled, and said, “Mr. Giles that’s good to hear.”

“Yes, yes it is.” He sat back down at his desk. “What did you need?”

Ms. Rice held up a manila envelope, “The hospital sent Dana’s medical work up.” She handed it to Giles and He graciously accepted it.

“Thank you, Ms. Rice. That’ll be all for now.” With that the young woman left Giles’ offices, closing the door behind her.
He opened up the envelope, pulled the out contents, and began looking them over. The doctors at the psych hospital had diagnosed her a paranoid schizophrenic, but there was more to it than the doctors realized. He would make sure that she underwent more tests to verify the diagnosis and get her the treatment that she needed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was a breezy day but a beautiful nonetheless on the outskirts of Rome. The trees strategically placed all around the grounds, gave shade from the hot days.

The one story house was a cream color with brown trim sat atop of hill. Each room had French doors leading out to a veranda overlooking the ocean. The house the only one on the road; it was so peaceful.

It was what clinched the deal for Buffy and Dawn, when they purchased the house a few months back. It was a far cry from living in California, Sunnydale to be exact. Hellmouth central. Both were glad that they got to live normal lives. Although from time to time they did battle evil, but with other slayers, Buffy wasn’t needed as much, and took a much needed vacation.

Buffy enrolled Dawn into a private school in town. With Dawn’s good grades, she was able to skip a grade. She was now in what would be considered 12th grade in the United States. Neither missed being in the states; too much hurt and too much loss there. They didn’t even look back when they left. Buffy hadn’t heard from her father in months, but that was ok. She was finally able to take responsibility and take care of Dawn. Though Dawn insisted that she could take care of her self. She was after seventeen.

Still, Buffy worried as if Dawn were her own daughter. That’s what her mother, Joyce, would have wanted.
Luckily they were able to pack some memorabilia the night before they left. Giles had sent it off to England, assuring everyone that there would be something of theirs waiting. Buffy and Dawn packed pictures, knickknacks belonging to her mother, clothes, and her Mr. Gordo. Couldn’t forget those things now could they.

As Buffy lay out on her veranda, clutching Mr. Gordo, and looking through her picture album, she smiled, and she laughed, and she cried going through her memories. The last few pages had been dedicated to Spike. She loved him so, but never understood why he didn’t believe her. It didn’t matter now he was gone and there was nothing that she could do about it. She had to live for him now.

Buffy snapped the book closed looking around the garden and the ocean. She picked it because it was a place Spike would have chosen for her.

It was so pretty when the sun shined during the day. There was one spot in particular that the sun shined the brightest and its location was at the bottom of the hill.

She set her beloved stuffed animal down, and walked down the path to this place. The breeze blowing her hair, and her white dress along. It had been awhile since she had visited, but today, it felt right.

Chapter 3-

A/N: A reader brought something to my attention. I had made a mistake with Spike's age. Which would have made him a lot older when he was turned. So, I made the correction, making him 27 at the time he was sired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

The closer she got to her special spot, the closer she came to cry, but she held the tears back. There were two headstones next to a large oak tree, a bench and many wild flowers scattered around. She walked off the path to the left, and stood in front of the headstones.

One read:

William “Spike” Crawford
1853-2003
Rest in Peace.

The other read:

Joyce Summers
1961-2001
Beloved Mother.

Before they left what used to be Sunnydale, Buffy grabbed dirt from the ground as a symbol for her mother and Spike.

When she moved into the house, she found that place the first day. She had Giles order her the stones, and she buried the dirt in the ground. She felt connected to her mother and Spike. She came here every day and spent time. She even took up gardening, though she didn’t need to, she had a gardener that took care of everything for her.

Tears sprang to her eyes, she looked up taking a deep breath, almost willing the tears to go away.

“Hey Mom.”

Her voice was soft, barely audible.

“How are you?”

She pulled her long blonde hair around to lay on her right shoulder.

“I miss you. I didn’t know how hard it would be, now that I’ve had time to myself to think about you being gone.” She sighed.

“I wish you were here to see Dawn. She’s growing up to be a lovely young woman.”

Buffy smiled, then she turned her gaze to Spike’s grave.

“William…I wish you where here with me, I miss you so much.” “I miss just laying next to you with you holding me, I miss making love with you.” “I haven’t been with anyone since…” Buffy trailed off. It was a painful memory, but she’d long forgiven him.

“Sometimes it feels like you are near, then I wake up, and you’re not there…I dream about seeing you that last day and every night after, I save you.”

She got up and knelt by his headstone.

“Please come back to me. I don’t know if I can live without you.”

She began to cry, she hadn’t even heard Dawn come up to her.

“Buffy…are you ok?”

Dawn knelt down next to her sister. Buffy turned around, wiping the tears away.

“Dawn. What are you doing home from school?”

Dawn didn’t know that Buffy still came to this spot. If Dawn had to admit it, she came to this spot sometimes, when she was missing her mother and her friend.

“Buffy, it’s after four: I usually get out at two thirty, but today they let us out at one.”

“Where have you been?” Buffy asked, worriedly.

“We had a training session with the slayers, don’t you remember?”

Buffy rose to her feet and then Dawn did as well.

“Oh, damn, I forgot…I’m sorry; I should have been there to help you.”

“Nah, that’s ok, we did a few exercises and I let them go early.” “We agreed to me on Friday, if that’s ok?”

“Yeah, that’d be ok.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you still came here?”

Buffy interlaced her hand with Dawns, “Come on, let’s go back to the house.”

As the sisters were walking back, she explained her urge to visit, but was interrupted by Andrew and Giles standing on the veranda, standing on the veranda, waiting for them.
“Giles,” she turned to Dawn. “I wonder what he’s doing here.”

“They look serious.”

The girls ran up the path, and up the steps to the veranda.
“Giles,” Buffy hugged him. “It’s been awhile since we’ve seen you; how are you.”

“It’s good to see you too.”

“Andrew,” Buffy said, stepping back. “Everything as planned?”

“Yes, she’s already taken care of.”

“Good. Good.” Buffy said, pleased.

“To what do we owe your visit?” Dawn asked, curiously.

“Buffy, I think you need to sit down,” Giles instructed.

Buffy looked to Dawn, both looked confused, but felt it was some big news. Dawn grabbed Buffy’s hand and she squeezed back. Buffy was fearing the worst about Willow, Kennedy, Faith, Xander, and Woods. She and Dawn sat, waiting for the worst.

“What is it, Giles?” Buffy prodded, eager to know what was going on.

“Andrew, you should be the one to tell her,” Giles said, turning to him.

“I don’t care who tells me, just say it,” Buffy demanded.
“Where do I begin…” Andrew started but was quickly cut off by Buffy.

“Damn it, just say it,” She yelled.

“All right. Spike’s alive.”

Buffy turned white and fainted dead away.

“Buffy! Buffy!!” Dawn said frantically. “This had better not be a lie or you’ll be dealing with me Andrew.”

Andrew looked away, and then back at Dawn and Buffy.
Dawn turned back to her sister, who was laying in her arms.

“Buffy, wake up…BUFFY!” Dawn cried. “Please wake up.” She looked up at Giles, then Andrew and back at Buffy. She couldn’t wrap her mind around that news, but she hoped it was true. She missed Spike, but knew her sister missed him more.

“I hope to god that this is true. My sister loved him and lost him. This will ruin her if it’s not true!”

Giles hovered over Buffy, hoping that she’d wake up soon. Andrew felt guilty for telling Buffy, but he had a feeling that Spike would have kept it to himself, just so Buffy would be happy. He hoped that Spike would understand, but he knew Spike was gonna kick his ass when he found out.

TBC

Chapter 4-

A dazed Buffy woke up a few moments later. She had forgotten why Andrew and Giles were there and didn’t know why they were hovering over her. Dawn helped her sit up and asked, “Are you ok?”

“Andrew…Giles…why are you here? Are you here about Slayer business?”

“Um no,” Giles said, pulling up a chairclose to Buffy. “We came because we had news for you about…Spike.”

It suddenly came back to her and hither hard. She held the tears back. That was something that she wanted to do alone.

“He’s…he’s alive?” She asked for verification.

“Yes, Buffy.” Andrew confirmed sitting down across from her. “I talked to him just yesterday.”

“Yesterday??” Buffy asked confused, yet the anger was building up in her. “How long has he been back?”

Giles sighed deeply. He knew that this was hard for her and it would have been better coming from Spike, but he wasn’t here, and she had to know, she needed to know, Giles reasoned with himself.

“From what I understand, from what Andrew has told me, Spike’s been back for a few months.”

“How?” Buffy asked searching for the answers, looking from Andrew to Giles and back at Dawn.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’tAngel even tell me? I talked to him a few times during that time. I just don’t understand why nobody bothered to tell me SPIKE WAS ALIVE!”

Dawn held onto Buffy in a reassuring hug. “I sure would like to know the answer to that question,” Dawn spoke up.

“I don’t know,” Andrew said honestly.“Maybe he didn’t know how to tell you.”

“How do you know?” Buffy asked, almost a whine. “Did he tell you this?”

Andrew shifted uncomfortably. He thought he would be able to tell her to the truth, but he could see the hurt in her eyes. The hurt that he had put there; if he’d just left well enough alone,she would have been happy. He didn’t know now, if this was such a good idea.

“Buffy, you’re just gonna have to ask him.” Andrew told her simply.

A few minutes went by and no one said aword. Buffy stood up, and made an announcement. She was still a little wobbly,but she held herself up on the railing next to her.

“I’m going to L.A.”

“What? No! Buffy you can’t.” Dawn stood up. “No you can’t, it would be too much for you; take a few days and let it sink in.”

“I have to Dawnie. I need him to know that I loved him…that I love him.”

“You’re not going without me, then,”Dawn told her sister.

“You have school.”

“I don’t care. I’m going, whether youlike it or not.”

Buffy knew it was no good to argue withher sister. Although she was certain that they’d be arguing about this until the time they left. They’d be wasting time; time she didn’t have. She turned to Giles.

“Would you get everything set up for me?”

“I could do that,” He stood up, hugging her. “I think we should go, Andrew.” He turned back towards Buffy. “I’ll call you later.”

“Thanks Giles, this means a lot to me.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Spike was getting restless held up inhis hospital room. His hands were coming along nicely, thanks to the vampire healing, but Fred wanted him to stay there for a few days just to make sureeverything worked properly.

She even brought him books,magazines and a TV for him to watch his favorite show, Passions, but none of that was anyinterest to him.

He had to get out of that place. He couldn’t sit and do nothing. He had things to do and people to save; he could do none of that if he didn’t get up and just go.

A few minutes of debating, and hedecided to get up. He pushed the blankets away, swung his legs over to the right side of the bed, and walked over to the closet that held his things.

Spike opened up the closet, andrealized his beloved duster was not in there.

“Bloody hell!” He cursed, grabbing his pants. Pulling them on, he buttoned them on, and removed his hospital gown. Snatching his black shirt off the hanger, and easing it over his head he exclaimed

“I can’t believe I lost my bloody duster.” “Had that thing for over 20years!”

He grabbed for his socks and boots, he put them on quickly and left the room.

A little while later, Fred strolled down the hall carrying a cup of warm blood for Spike. Reaching for the door,waited for a response, hearing none she entered the room.

“Spike, I brought you some fresh blood,just how you…” She trailed off, looking up, noticing that Spike wasn’t in bed.

“Spike?”

She set the cup down, and approachedthe rest room.

“Spike are you in there?”

As she opened the door she called out to him again,

“Spike.”

Fred rolled her eyes, going back to the table where she placed the cup

“I guess I’ll give this to Angel.” Withthat she left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Fred walked into Angel’s office,he had been sitting at the table moping. She just shook her head and continued all the way to his desk.

“I made this for Spike, but he slippedout.” She set down the cup in front of Angel.

Glancing up at her he picked it up andtook a sip he replied coldly.

“Thanks.” “I was wondering when he’d leave!”

Fred sighed and sat down in the chair across from his desk.

“I thought he’d at least stay, so Icould make sure his hands healed properly.”

“If something goes wrong, he’ll be back.” “He always comes back.” He took another sip.

“Angel, is there something bothering you?”

Taking an unneeded breath, he pushedout his chair, and began pacing back and forth. Fred waited patiently until he was ready to speak.

“Just thinking about what Buffy said.”

“Angel.”

Fred got up, stood and stopped Angel from pacing.

“We’re doing good.” “Just not the kind of good she and the slayers are doing.” “We’re making adifference.”

“You actually believe that?”

“I do!”

Angel wasn’t so sure they were doing anything that made a difference. He believed that they would be, once he took the deal, but now, after what Buffy said, he was seriously thinking about packing up and going back to the Hyperion. But then there was Connor and Cordy to think about. Conner’s world would be shattered. Cordy would die. He just couldn’t think about that now. He had to stay right where he was. For now at least he would try to make Buffy understand that what he was doing was for theright reasons.

“Angel,”

Harmony’s voice came through the intercom.

“You have a call on line one, it’s Mr.Giles.”

“Excuse me, Fred, I need to take this.”

Moving slowly back to his desk he took his seat and Fred quietly leave the room.

“Thanks Harmony.” As he pushed line one Angel tried to add a more cheerful tenor to his voice, it didn’t work. “Hello Giles!”

“This isn’t social call, Angel.”

“Did think it was.”

“What’s up?”

“Buffy.” Giles said simply withseriousness in his voice.

“What about Buffy?” Angel asked, aconcerned tone evident in his voice.

“She’s coming to L.A.”

“What?”

“How long have you know about Spike?” Giles got right to the point.

Angel took the phone away from his ear,and held it up to his chest, tightly.

“Damn it, Andrew.” He put the phone back up to his ear.

“A few months.”“How?”

“I got a package in the mail, it was the necklace he wore that night, was in it,” indicating the night Spike sacrificed himself for the greater good of the world. “Once I opened thepackage, Spike’s spirit materialized, and the necklace dropped to the floor…it wasn’t that long ago that he became corporeal.” “Even I don’t understand how it happened, not even Fred can explain it.”

“Why didn’t you tell Buffy.”

“I didn’t think she should know.”

“Angel, she has a right to know.”

“Does she know?”

“That’s why she’s coming.”

“Does Spike know?”

“No and please keep that to yourself,she wanted it to be a surprise.” “Although, I think that if Spike knew Andrew told it, he’d probably kill him.”

Giles snickered, Angel heard a “HEY” in the background and laughed himself.

“Is there anything I can do?” Angel asked, hoping he could.

“No, she doesn’t know that I’m calling you…we don’t have as good of a relationship as we used to.” “If she knew, she’d…” he trailed off, not wanting to think that far ahead. “Let’s just say it wouldn’t be good.”

“All right, I promise I won’t say anything to Spike.”

“Thanks,” Giles said, and quietly hung up the phone.

“Tell Spike what?” Spike asked, as he plopped down on the couch acrossed the room swinging his dusty boots up on the leather sofa.

Angel quickly put the phone in its cradle and tried to change the subject.

“Thought you’d be gone.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t very well leave during the day, now could I?“

"It would make things a whole lot simpler.” Angel said, sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

“You coulda taken one of my cars.”

“And be a pile of dust, stepping out ofthe car, dun think so.”

“The world would be a whole lot better.” Angel muttered as he turned in his chair.

“One of my men found this.” He pulled something out, walked over to Spike, and handed it to him.

“No need for Thanks!”

Spike’s eyes went wide. Angel just smiled, it made him feel good that he could help his grandchild. Spike thought he’d lost his beloved duster in all the Dana commotion.

It was almost as important as Buffy and Dawn were to him. There were a lot memories associated with it, good and bad,but he wouldn’t trade it in for a heartbeat.

Although, he did decide to stop wearing it, after he got his soul, but in the end, Buffy asked him to wear in the final battle with The First. It had been hard to put it on the first time since he had hurt Buffy, but it felt like he’d worn it the whole time. It gave him strength, when he didn’t think he had it anymore. In the end, he was finally able to accept all the bad things he’d done.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Spike said,sliding on duster, he smirked, and sat back down on the sofa as if he owned the joint. Angel was none to impressed, with the fact that Spike was there, still.

“Peaches.”

Reseating himself at the desk Angel glared at Spike, he hated being called peaches.

“Got something better to do?” Angel asked, hoping the answer would be yes.

“Nah, I think I’ll just sit here and annoy you!” Spike said, snarkily.

Angel pushed his intercom button, Harmony’s voice buzzed through.

“Yeah boss?”

“Find something for Spike to do! NOW!”

“Sure thing boss!”

Harmony clamored into Angel’s office.She walked over to Spike, her stiletto heels clicking noisily against the floor. With her hands on her placed huffily on her hips and an attitude to match, she pulled Spike up off the sofa and ordered him to “Come with me.” As she dragged him out of the office he keptmuttered something about how he could do what he wanted, when he wanted, and then the door closet shut.

“Thank you!” Angel exclaimed. He wondered what it was going to be like to see Buffy, he know she was going to be happy at all.


TBC

Chapter 5-

An hour later, Lorne entered Angel’s office, cheerful as always, he was going on about the hottest thing in show business. All Angel heard was ramble. He wished that Lorne would leave, he just wasn’t up to visitors right now. Especially after Spike graced him with his presence.

“Hey sweet cheeks,” Lorne plopped himself in a chair across from Angel’s desk.

Looking up Angel said, “Oh hey Lorne!”

“Oh hey Lorne?” Lorne asked sitting forward. “Is that all you got to say to little old me?”

“Sorry Lorne. Just been having one of those days.”

“Care to elaborate, Angel cake?”

Angel set his file down, and leaned back into his chair, his arms crossed behind his head. “Spike being his annoying self.”

“That’s not what’s got you so upset!”

“I have to be careful I don’t say it because a certain annoying grandchild will hear.”

Lorne looked around and then back at Angel. “He’s not here now.”

“Buffy is coming back.”

“Oh,” supplied Lorne, shocked. “So that’s what’s gotcha in a huffy.” Lorne could tell that this bothered Angel and he wanted to help.

“Well, let little ole Lorne help you.”

“Thanks Lorne, but she doesn’t want our help.”

“That may be true Angelkins, but you’ve got to change that.”

“She’s going to ream me a new one,” Said Angel, ignoring Lorne.

“That’s possible, Angel baby, but it’s something that has to be dealt with.”

“I know.” Angel sighed. “I just don’t know how.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day first Buffy and then Dawn stepped onto the tarmac. Neither of them ever dreamed that they’d be back in California this soon. They were content just living the rest of their lives out in Europe, that was until they were told about Spike.

Dawn noticed that there was a limo waiting for them and she pointed it out to Buffy, who already had seen it. Giles had made all the arrangements before the girls left for their trip. He wanted to accompany them, but Buffy wanted to go alone. Dawn wouldn’t hear of it, she insisted on going even after Buffy said no. She finally gave in at the last minute, and Giles sent Andrew along with them for slayer business.

“Buffy, look, a limo.”

“I see it, Dawn.” Buffy walked closer to the limo.

“Ms Summers?” The driver asked. He was about 6ft tall, good looking, and looked to be early twenties. He had long blonde hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. Dawn noticed him right away. She smiled and he smiled back.

Andrew came out of the plane a few moments later, draped with the girls and his bags. Buffy and Dawn rolled their eyes as he bumbled down the steps and over to them.

“Yes, I’m Ms Summers.” Buffy replied as the driver opened the door. He took the bags from Andrew, waited until the young man got seated before closing the door. The driver then proceeded to load the luggage into the trunk then took his place behind the wheel.

“Where to?”

Buffy looked at Dawn, she wanted to see Spike first, but then there was Angel who needed to dealt with. Looking back up at the driver responded, holding back her distaste.

“Wolfram and Hart please.”

“What?” Dawn turned to Buffy. “You can’t be serious!”
“I’m dead serious, Dawn,” Buffy told her sister. “I have to see Angel. At least to find out where Spike is.”

“What’s the point?” “Angel isn’t on our side anymore,” Andrew tried reasoning with Buffy. “He’ll just lie to you. I’m sure of it!”

“I have to go, I have to understand why he just didn’t tell me that Spike was alive.”

“What about Spike?” “When are we going to see him?” Dawn wondered, trying to hold back her excitement. She was exactly nice to him back in Sunnydale, but she’d forgiven him and hoped he’d accept her apology.

“As soon as I take care of Angel, find out where Spike is, then we’ll go.” Truth was, Buffy was scared to see Spike after all this time. He had died and now he was alive. She was more than happy that he was alive, but seeing him again, it was a little too much, to fast. Seeing Angel first would be the best option, she could truly be able to tell what she thought of him, then she’d be ready to see Spike. At least that’s what she’d been telling herself on the way to W&H.

TBC

Chapter 6-

Twenty minutes later, the limo pulled up in front of the sky rise of Wolfram & Hart. Buffy dreaded going in at that very moment, but it was something she had to do.

The door opened and Buffy, and her sister stepped out. Andrew stayed behind, slayer business to attend to, he told Buffy before the limo pulled up. She took a deep breath as she and Dawn walked up to the doors.

Once inside, the headed for the elevator. Andrew explained to them what they should expect when they walk in, and what floor they should go to.

In the elevator, Dawn pushed the 13th floor, the doors closed, and they waited until the elevator stopped again. Neither of them said anything until the doors opened a few moments later.

“Are you sure about this?” Dawn asked, placing a hand on her sisters shoulder, stopping her.

“No, I’m not,” Buffy replied. “Oh you got to be joking,” she said sarcastically, seeing the first thing as she stepped out of the elevator. “Cause, so not funny!”

Dawn didn’t say anything, and held back a snicker. Buffy and her sister walked past Harmony, but the vampire quickly stepped in front of her.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Harmony asked.

“Get out of my way.” Was Buffy’s reply

“Do you have an appointment?” Harmony asked.

“I’m here to see Angel.” Buffy held firm. She wasn’t about to let this blonde bimbo annoy her today.

“Don’t think I’m just gonna let you in that easily,” held Harmony.

Buffy tried walking around her, but Harmony was quick to stop her yet again.

“Get out of my way now, or I’ll stake you,” Buffy said, pointedly.

Harmony tried stopping her again as Buffy tried getting by, but Dawn stepped in front of the blonde vampire and Buffy was able to slip into Angel’s office without any harm.

“Don’t even think about it, blondie.” Dawn pushed Harmony back. She opened her jacket and flashed several stakes, just in case a situation would arise.

Harmony growled and her eyes turned amber for a second. “Fine!” She whined stomping back to her desk. Dawn smiled, satisfied, and walked into the office a few seconds after Buffy.

Once she got into the office, Buffy stood there with her arms over chest, taping her toes. Dawn leaned up against the door, waiting for Buffy to speak, but Angel had been on the phone, his chair turned away from her sister. Harmony was to scared to let Angel know that Buffy and Dawn were there, waiting for him.

“Ok. Ok. I’ll get something set up,” was Angel’s last words before turning the chair around, setting the phone on the hook. He looked up, “Buffy! Dawn!” Angel was definitely surprised to see them.

“Surprised to see us,” Buffy said with ice to her voice. Angel sat uncomfortably silent for a few moments before speaking

“Buffy.” Angel stood up and went around his desk.

“Don’t even.” Buffy put her hand out to him. Angel stopped quickly. He knew this was going to happen. He went back towards his desk and sat down on it.

“I sure am going to like this,” Dawn muttered. Buffy turned around and glared at her sister. “What?” Dawn smiled as she looked at Angel. “Yep. Going to like this!”

Angel crossed arms on his chest, waiting for Buffy to speak.

“Where the hell is he?” Was all Buffy asked, glaring at Angel.

Angel knew full well what she meant. He dreaded this more than anything.

“WHERE THE HELL IS HE?” Buffy asked again, clenching and unclenching her fists.

When Angel didn’t answer, Buffy was right in his face, ready to do what was necessary.

“Ok. Ok! Spike lives about a mile from here, I could take you if you’d like,” Angel said, hoping that Buffy wouldn't do anything rash.

“No thanks, we’ll manage just fine!” Buffy said, snidely.

“Harmony will give you the address then.” Angel went to his desk and buzzed Harmony.

“Yeah boss?” Came through the intercom.

“Give Buffy Spike’s address.”

“What?”

“JUST DO IT!” Angel yelled.

“Ok, fine!” Harmony said defeated, before cutting the conversation.

Buffy and Dawn turned to walk out, but Buffy stopped, and turned around. She had to know. It was nagging at her.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Angel asked, not sure what she meant.

“You had plenty of time to tell me, why didn’t you?” Buffy asked softly, although her anger was rising quickly.

“You gave me that song and dance about cookie dough,” Angel began slowly.

“With you not being done and all.” “I didn’t think, I guess, I didn’t know there was more,” Angel told her honestly, “but you said he was in your heart.”

“At that point, I really didn’t know what I wanted,” said Buffy, holding back tears. “I did care about him, but I honestly never realized I had feelings for him.”

She paused looking down, the tears spilling over. “He was right…He was right the whole time.” “I never had a chance to tell him…when he did that thing for me…for all of us, I just knew he was the one.” “Then he came back,”

Buffy stopped, looking Angel in the eyes, anger boiling over.

“Then you didn’t tell me!” “How could you!” She stepped closer to him.

“I had a right to know!” She grabbed the lapels of his jacket. “I HAD A RIGHT TO KNOW, ANGEL!” “I COULD HAVE BEEN WITH HIM THIS WHOLE TIME!” “YOU RUINED IT FOR ME. FOR SPIKE! WHY?”

Angel didn’t respond, Buffy’s fist clinched up, and then back, smashing into Angel’s face. Angel went flying through his office floor window from the force of the punch. After Angel landed with a thud, Buffy felt better than she ever had in a very long time. Dawn smiled the whole way through. She felt good that her sister was able to release all that anger and tension she was holding up inside of her.

Wes happened to walk into the office, walking right past Dawn, not paying attention to where Angel was. “Angel,” said Wesley, reading a file he had brought with him.

“I think you should look…” Wes looked at Buffy, surprised to see her.

“Buffy! What are you doing here?” He looked at the window, where Angel was just getting up.

“Did I just walk in on something?” He looked at Angel and then at Buffy, unsure of what just happened.

Dawn crossed the room to her sister. “She just took care of some business.” She stopped next to Buffy.

“Dawn is it?” Wes asked.

“Yes,” She put her hand on her sisters shoulder, letting her know she was there. “Buffy, I think we better go, we’ve taken up enough of Angel’s time.”

Buffy hadn’t moved, she was shooting Angel daggers. Or in Angel’s case, stakes. She was watching Angel slowly get up and come into the office.

He couldn’t blame her. He had lied for months. He could very well have told her, but it wasn’t his secret to tell, that’s what Angel had told himself over and over, knowing full well how much they went through together. Deep down, way down, he knew that she loved Spike. He never would or could for that matter, admit it.

Angel was about to apologize once again, when Dawn spoke up.

“Come on, Buffy.” Dawn nudged her sister along. Together they walked out of Angel’s office, and proceeded over to Harmony’s desk to get Spike’s address. Buffy was feeling a lighter. All that tension and hurting that had built up over the months had finally passed. A small smile crept along her face. She was happy for the first time in a long time. She’d be happier when she got to Spike, and saw him safe.

Buffy grabbed the piece of paper but Harmony wouldn’t let go. She still wanted Spike, even though she knew she never had a chance with him. Dawn opened up her jacket once again, and Harmony shut her mouth quickly letting go of the paper. She sat back down and pretended like she was working, like she always does.

Arriving in the lobby they exited the building and were surprised to find Andrew and the limo waiting for them.

Once inside, Dawn gave the address to Spike’s apartment to the driver. Soon they’d be in front at Spikes. Buffy was sure she was doing the right thing.

TBC

Chapter 7-

The black limo pulled up in front of the building, as Buffy rolled down the window. It was an old factory recently remolded into new apartments. Buffy suddenly got nervous, and pulled herself back inside.

“What’s the matter?” asked Dawn, worriedly.

“I don’t think this is such a good idea,” admitted Buffy, tears threatening to spill over.

“Don’t you want to see Spike?” Andrew asked, sliding over to Buffy.

“Oh yes, more than you know,” Buffy answered honestly.

“I’m just not sure he wants to see me.” She said quietly.

“He could have come to me, months ago, and yet, he never showed up.”

“Buffy,” Andrew began, patting her hand in a comforting manor, “Spike does love you, he just wanted you to be happy.” “With him out of the picture, that’s what he thought he was doing for you.”

Buffy sniffled and smiled at the same time. “All right,” she finally said. “Let’s go see Spike.” Buffy opened the door, and she and Dawn stepped out.

“I’ll be right here waiting,” Andrew told them as he closed the door.

The sisters each took a deep breath before entering the building.

“Which way now?” Dawn asked, looking over Buffy’s shoulder and at the piece of paper her sister was holding.

There was a sign to the right that said ‘Apartments 1-4 Down the steps’. “That way,” Buffy pointed as she started walking down the steps, Dawn followed her sister.

A few moments later Buffy stopped in front of apartment 1C.

“Is this it?” Dawn asked.

Buffy shook her head yes, and Dawn knocked. They didn’t even realize Spike would still be sleeping at this time. Several minutes went by and Spike didn’t answer.

“Well, he’s not here, let’s go,”

Buffy started to walk away. Dawn pulled her sister back when she heard muffled curse words and a stumble or two. Dawn snickered. Soon the door opened. Spike was clad only in a pair of black jeans. He didn’t even pay attention to who graced his doorstep.

“What the bloody hell do you want?” He asked. “Do you even know what the bleedin’ time is?” His thick British accent softened when he saw the most important people in his life.
“Buffy, Dawn?” He didn't know if he was dream or not. Blinking a few times, he realized that they were indeed real.

“Spike,” Dawn said his name. She was surprised. She was excited. She was happy. She was all of the above.

“How are you?” She leaned in and hugged him. All that happened between them before, just wasn’t important, now that he was here, hugging her. He was real. He was alive. That’s all that mattered to her.

He stepped back, looked at Buffy. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes.

“SPIKE!” She sobbed as she jumped into his arms.

“Pet, s’ok.” He rubbed her back. “S’ok. I’m here now. I’ll never leave you again.”

“Promise.” was her muffled response.

“Yes, I promise.”

She stepped out of his arms. “I love you.” She said it for the first time. “I never want to lose you again…It was horrible…I thought it would be ok to live life without you, but I realized I loved you, and I couldn’t be without you.”

Spike smiled and brought Buffy in for embrace, never wanting to let go over her again. Dawn just smiled. She snuck back to the limo giving them the privacy they deserved.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week later, Angel gave Spike a new identity in exchange for never coming back to L.A. again. Spike had accepted as long as he could have Angel’s blessing to marry Buffy. At first Angel didn’t want to, but Spike persuaded him and finally Angel agreed.

When Spike proposed, Buffy knew exactly what it was he was trying to say. She happily accepted, and they were married soon after. The wedding wasn’t anything spectacular. Just married by a justice of the peace, arranged by Angel of course.

Spike insisted that they get married in a lavish wedding in Rome. It didn’t matter, as long as she was with Spike.
Dawn and Andrew left the previous day in hopes of setting up a wedding reception for the newly married couple, in secret of course.

Buffy and Spike boarded the plane as Mr. And Mrs. William March, soon they would be heading into their future together. There was going to be some heavy explaining to her friends, but it was worth it as long as they were together, forever.

THE END