Chapter 1

She woke with a start at the sound of pounding on her bedroom door.

“Are you awake yet? Get your lazy self out of bed and come downstairs for breakfast,” the loud woman claimed, then marched away from the door.

Buffy Summers let out a sigh and got out of bed. Most kids were woken up from an alarm clock, but not her. She had to deal with being disturbed out of slumber by an obnoxious step-mother. She still didn’t know what her father saw in the woman, but didn’t care to think about her at the moment. She just got dressed and brushed her hair quickly, grabbing her backpack and heading for the door. Buffy stopped when she realized that she forgot something and reached under her pillow for her sketchbook, then made her way out of the room and down the stairs. She cringed when she saw her father and step-monster waiting for her at the table, making it seem like they were the perfect family, but that was so far from the truth.

“It’s about time that you decided to grace us with your presence,” Hank Summers said.

She mumbled an apology and sat down, figuring that it would be pointless to argue. He would never listen to her, anyway. Buffy only picked at her eggs and waited until it was time to go to school.


* * * * *


Buffy hated high school. Getting good grades was no problem; she could do that in her sleep. It was the people that she despised. She thought things would have been different for her since she moved to Sunnydale from Los Angeles. It was a new school and a new town, where no one knew her. It was a chance to start over, or so she thought. Buffy hoped that things would have changed and she wouldn’t get treated like a freak, but there was no such luck. It was her second year at Sunnydale High and she was still known as the freaky new kid. She didn’t have any friends and it was really lonely to always eat lunch by herself, but for some reason, no one wanted anything to do with her. That was the story of her life, after all.

She broke out of her depressing thoughts and walked to her locker, getting what she needed out of it. Buffy shut the locker door and then saw him in the distance. There was only one reason that made coming to school worth it and that was William Giles, also known as Spike to his friends. She didn’t know where that nickname came from, but it suited him. Buffy watched him as he chatted with a few of the cheerleaders; they had no problem basically draping themselves all over him. Spike was the most popular and richest guy in school. He could get anyone that he wanted. Buffy felt saddened when she saw him smile at a pretty blonde that wasn’t her. Sadly, she would never be the cause of one of his smiles. She liked him ever since she first arrived at the school, but he never knew that she existed. They had a few classes together and even sat by each other in one of them, but he never once looked her way or spoke to her. Buffy would have given anything for him to notice her, but that just wasn’t the case. She was destined to be alone and invisible for the rest of her life. With that miserable thought in mind, she headed to her first class of the day.


* * * * *


“Blondie Bear, are you even listening to me?”

Spike snapped out of his daze at the sound of Harmony Kendall’s whiny voice. He watched the girl that he was focused on walk away from her locker, then turned his attention back on the cheerleader. “Sorry, did you say something?”

“I was asking you to the homecoming dance. I think we could have a lot of fun together,” she said seductively, trailing a finger down his leather clad arm.

Spike moved away from her touch. “I don’t think that would be the best idea.”

She pouted. “Why not?”

Spike thought of something quick to say. “I probably won’t be going. That’s not really my thing. It’s not for another couple of months, anyway.”

“That is so not the point. You have to go, Spikey. You’re gonna be the Homecoming King.”

He rolled his eyes. “You don’t know that. I wasn’t the only one nominated.”

Harmony waved her hand in the air. “Please, those other losers have nothing on you. I’m nominated for Homecoming Queen. Wouldn’t it just be great if we both won? You so have to be there.”

Spike was getting annoyed and just wanted to be done with the conversation. “I’ll think about it, okay? I have to get to class now.” He then walked away from her, without bothering to wait for a response.


* * * * *


Buffy sat in her English class and stared at the back of Spike’s head, who was sitting in front of her. What she wouldn’t give to just reach out and touch his bleached hair. She knew that it would be soft, but didn’t dare try. She glanced down at her sketchpad and continued the drawing of him that she started earlier. Art was Buffy’s favorite subject. She loved to draw and felt that it was the only thing she was actually good at. She never showed her work to anyone, it was for her eyes only. Her book was almost full and most of it was sketches of Spike. He was always her inspiration and would never know. Buffy was suddenly distracted when Spike stretched that she dropped her pencil on the floor next to him. She silently cursed herself and went to retrieve it, but he got there first.

Spike reached for the fallen pencil and held it out to her. “I believe you dropped this.”

Buffy only nodded, finding that speech was very hard at the moment. That was the first time he ever really spoke to her. She just took the pencil out of his hand and gave a small smile. “Thanks,” she said, feeling her cheeks heat up and hoping that he didn’t notice.

Spike smiled in return. “Don’t mention it,” was all he said before turning back to face the front of the class.

Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat at the look that he gave her. She finally got one of his smiles.


* * * * *


Spike hurried out of the classroom once the bell rang. He needed to get far away from her. Buffy Summers could make a man go weak in the knees just from her smile. He developed a secret crush on Buffy since the first day that he saw her, but never really told anyone about it. They all thought of him as a ladies man, but she was the one girl that had the ability to make him nervous. He watched her from afar for over a year now and she had no idea. He couldn’t believe that he actually talked to her. She was different from the other chits in school. They were all a flock of sheep, not one of them made his heart skip a beat by smiling at him. Buffy was the only one that didn’t throw herself at him and he had to respect her for that. He figured that she wouldn’t be interested in someone like him, so he just continued to admire her at a distance. Maybe one day, she would see him differently.

Chapter 2

Buffy headed to her locker later that day. She wasn’t watching where she was going and crashed into someone, causing her to drop all of the books that she was carrying.

“God, could you be anymore of a klutz?”

Buffy cringed at the voice and glanced up to see Megan Walsh, the head cheerleader and one of the most popular girls in school. She just looked away and went to grab her books, only to have Megan kick them further away from her.

“Oops,” she said with a fake smile.

Buffy told herself that she was not going to cry. She wouldn’t give any of them the satisfaction.

“Maybe that will teach you to stay out of my way, loser.” Megan flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder and walked away.

Buffy noticed that a crowd gathered around after that, all of them pointing and laughing at her. She felt herself tearing up and wanted to get out of there. She grabbed all of her books in a hurry and headed to the nearest restroom, closing the door and leaning her head against it. She was glad that it seemed to be empty and went over to the sink to splash some water on her face. Buffy couldn’t keep the tears in any longer and gazed into the mirror to see that she looked like a mess. She was once again very relieved to be a senior, it wouldn’t be much longer for her to finally get out of that school and put everything behind her. Graduation couldn’t come soon enough.


* * * * *


Spike rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day. He was sitting in the cafeteria with most of the cheerleaders, who were talking about boys and the latest fashions. It was times like this that he wished for more male friends. They constantly followed him wherever he went, no matter how many times he said that he wasn’t in the mood for company. He all of a sudden looked up just as Buffy entered the cafeteria. He watched as she sat by herself at her usual table. Spike would have given anything to just go and join her. He was positive that she would hold an intelligent conversation, but he didn’t dare go up to her. He felt like a nervous schoolboy whenever he was near Buffy. His palms were sweaty and he felt butterflies in his stomach just by looking at her. She was so bloody gorgeous, and what made her even more beautiful to him was that she didn’t even try to be. It just came naturally to her. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her by not being able to get out a complete sentence, so he stayed where he was. Buffy was a mystery to him. She always kept to herself and probably wouldn’t want anything to do with him, anyway. Knowing his luck, she probably had some boyfriend in college. She never paid attention to any of the blokes in school, so that lead him to believe that she wasn’t interested in anyone.

“Spike, are you even listening?”

He lost focus on Buffy at the sound of someone calling him and was relieved to see that it was his mate Xander Harris, not another cheerleader. It was then that he noticed the girls seemed to have left. “When did you show up?”

Xander raised his eyebrows. “I’ve been here for the last five minutes trying to get your attention.” He looked off into the distance and noticed what had Spike so enraptured, rolling his eyes and turning back to his friend. “I should have known. Dude, you have some weird obsession with that chick.”

Spike glared at him. “It’s not an obsession. What do you care, anyway? You would rather I get involved with one of those twits?”

“Of course not, you can do better than that. It’s just not healthy for you to keep watching her like this. She’s not put on display, just go talk to her already.”

Spike’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “I can’t, I’m not ready yet. I don’t even know what I would say.” Xander was the only one that Spike told about his feelings for Buffy. They’ve been best friends ever since the start of high school and Spike didn’t trust telling anyone else. Those other sheep weren’t even really his friends; they just chose to hang around him because he had money. He sometimes hated that his father was the most admired and wealthy attorney in California.

Xander looked away from Spike at the sound of a commotion, noticing a pretty brunette enter the cafeteria. Most of the jocks instantly got up to greet her, offering to buy her lunch and just wanting to be around her. It was now Xander’s turn to get nervous at the sight of his crush.

Spike was seething when he saw the men flock over to the girl, wanting to rip their heads off. He shot out of his seat and marched over to them, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the chaos. He felt even more steamed when he got a look at the skimpy outfit she was wearing. “What the bloody hell is that? You weren’t wearing that this morning.”

She pulled her arm out of his grasp. “I took a change of clothes with me. It’s not like you’ve never done it.”

“That’s not the point, Dawn. It’s barely covering anything; there is a dress code here.”

She shrugged. “Dad donates a lot of money to this school. I doubt the principal would tell me what to wear.”

Spike felt a migraine coming on. “You shouldn’t be taking advantage of that.”

Dawn patted him on the arm. “You worry too much. I just like all of the attention. You can’t tell me that you don’t love having all of the cheerleaders practically throw themselves at you. That’s every teenage boy’s fantasy.”

Spike shook his head and thought about Buffy. The pretty blonde that made his heart swell and one that he could never have. “It’s not my fantasy. I haven’t told them to bugger off yet because I don’t want to be rude, but you’re better than those wankers in there and you know it.”

She groaned. “I hate it when you make sense, it ruins my fun. Okay, I’ll go change. Dad doesn’t need to know about this.”

Spike agreed and graced her with a smile. “Now, that’s my good little sister.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “You’re only three minutes older than me,” she said, then headed away from the cafeteria.

Spike turned around to go back inside, but ended up bumping into someone instead. His eyes bulged at the sight of Buffy; luckily he had good reflexes and stopped her from falling. He then quickly pulled away from her. “Sorry,” he mumbled before heading in the other direction.

Buffy felt hurt when she watched Spike walk away. He couldn’t get away from her fast enough; it was like just being around her was disgusting. She wiped at her eyes and didn’t even realize that she was crying again. Buffy couldn’t wait for the day to be over.

Chapter 3

Buffy rolled her eyes at the lovey dovey display that her father and step-monster were broadcasting. They were sitting on the couch and practically all over each other, not caring that she was only in the other room. She supposed that it was nothing compared to a couple of weeks ago when she accidentally walked in on the two of them having sex. That’s something that would definitely scar a kid for life. The step-monster was pretty pissed off at being interrupted, while Hank tried to calm her down. She did for his sake, but really wailed on Buffy when he wasn’t around. Her father would never realize just the kind of person that he married. She was horrible and treated Buffy like nothing, but he was completely oblivious to it. The woman would be sweet and nice when he was around, but then turned the second he wasn’t.

“You know what would be a good idea, Hanky?”

Buffy cringed at the lame nickname and continued her chores. She had tons of homework to do, but of course cleaning the kitchen had to come first. Who cared if she got a good education or not? She vaguely heard what they were discussing in the living room.

“What idea would that be?” her father wondered.

“Okay, just hear me out. I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I think it would be a great idea to send Buffy away for a while. You told me that she’s always wanted to visit another country. There’s this great school program in Switzerland over the summer. I think she would really enjoy it. She would learn about a new culture and everything. It’s an all girl school, but I think it would be a great opportunity for her.”

Buffy stopped wiping the table at what she just heard. Going away to Switzerland? It sounded like a boarding school to her. That was the last thing she wanted to do. The step-monster could talk all she wanted about it being a good opportunity for Buffy, but she knew that the woman only wanted to get rid of her. She listened more and prayed that her father wouldn’t agree.

“I don’t know about that, Addie. It does sound like a good idea, but Buffy’s never been out of California before. I don’t know if she would be able to adjust to a summer in another country.”

Buffy sighed in relief, but it quickly faded at his next words.

“I’ll give it some serious consideration, though.”

Addie smiled and kissed him passionately, once again lost in their own little world.

Buffy couldn’t believe that her father would even think about sending her so far away. They hadn’t been all that close lately, but she didn’t think that he was so against being around her. Could things possibly get any worse?


* * * * *


She looked up from her textbook when the step-mother from Hell barged into her room, not even bothering to knock.

“You have a minute?”

Buffy wanted to tell her to get out, but didn’t have the energy. She only nodded and remained silent, waiting for whatever the woman had to say.

Addie pasted a fake smile on her face. “I’m sure you overheard our little conversation earlier. I mean, we weren’t exactly being discreet about it. I really love your father, Buffy. He’s a great man, but lately your problems have been getting in the way. I think it would be nice if you convinced your father that you want to go to Switzerland. It would really be the best thing for all of us. You can get away for a bit, and we can spend more time together.”

Buffy was furious and really wanted to give the old hag a piece of her mind, but she had a problem with confrontation. “What if I don’t want to go to Switzerland?” was all she managed to say.

Addie’s fake cheeriness soon turned into anger. “I wasn’t asking you, Buffy. You’re going to tell your father and convince him that it’s something you really want to do. He cares for you and probably has a hard time letting you go, but you can make him feel better about that. You put him through a lot with your issues in Los Angeles, you deciding to go away for a while could be just the thing that he needs. I know I wouldn’t mind being rid of your bratty self for a few months. And who knows? Maybe it could even become a permanent deal.”

Buffy would not cry in front of her. She already shed enough tears at school. “My father would never send me away permanently.”

The smile was back on the older woman’s face now. “He sent you away once before, didn’t he? To a special clinic where they deal with the mentally disturbed, if I’m not mistaken. You spent two months in that place. If he did it once, I’m sure he won’t have a problem doing it again. Not if he knew this was the best thing for you.”

Buffy was having a hard time stopping her tears when the subject of the clinic was brought up. She hated being reminded of her time spent there. Yeah, she had some mental issues to work through, but she wasn’t crazy and didn’t think that she deserved to be sent to that place.

Addie glanced around the room and came across a framed photo on Buffy’s nightstand. She snatched it up and glared at the blonde woman that was smiling in the picture. “Joyce was very beautiful. It’s just a shame that she wasn’t enough for Hank. If she was, I’m sure he wouldn’t have come to me,” she claimed and dropped the frame to the floor, causing the glass to shatter.

Buffy gasped and stared at the broken photo of her mother.

“So sorry, it must have slipped. You should get that cleaned up. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to cut yourself. Oh, wait. You’re actually an expert at that, aren’t you?”

Buffy didn’t have much of a warning as Addie grabbed her arm, pulling her sleeve up to reveal the scars that were still on Buffy’s wrist.

“It’s no wonder you always wear long sleeved shirts. Those are pretty ugly looking, but then again, everything about you is pretty damn ugly. I’ve seen cross dressers that were more attractive. Don’t even get me started on your hideous nose. If I were you, I would have gotten a nose job a long time ago. Do you care about appearance at all?”

Buffy pulled her arm out of the woman’s grasp, tears streaming down her face at the harsh words.

Addie didn’t even seem to care. “God, don’t be such a baby. The truth hurts, deal with it. You’ll never get anywhere in this world if you cry about everything. Now, clean this mess up and go to bed. You’ll want to get to sleep early. I have a feeling your father and I will be quite loud tonight,” she said with a wink, then left the room.

Buffy broke out into harsh sobs once the door closed. She glanced at her marred wrist and quickly rolled her sleeve back down. She cleaned the glass up as best she could, then picked up the photo and took it out of what was left of the frame. Buffy lay back down and held the picture to her chest as the sobs took over her body.

Chapter 4

Buffy had it a few days later. Her father talked to her about going away to Switzerland and it took all of her effort not to tell him that she didn’t want to go. She wanted to tell him exactly what the step-monster said to her, but figured that he would never listen. He wasn’t likely to believe anything negative about the woman he married. The woman he cheated on her mother for. Buffy had to put up with a lot since her mother died, but not anymore. She was officially done dealing with any of it. They could live happily ever after for all she cared and not have to worry about her screwing up everything. She hoped that things would have gotten better after her breakdown in Los Angeles, but that just wasn’t the case. She was just so tired and wanted it all to be over. Buffy took a deep breath when she reached her locker. The decision was made; this would be her last day at Sunnydale High. There was nothing left for her there. She didn’t want to live anymore.


* * * * *


Spike watched her walk over to her locker and took in a deep breath. It was time; he was finally going to ask Buffy Summers out. He just prayed that he had the guts to do it, without making a complete ass out of himself. This wasn’t a feeling that he was used to. He never would have been nervous to ask any other girl out, but Buffy was different. There was something really special about her and he wanted to find out everything. Spike headed in her direction at the same time that she closed her locker door and turned around, only to collide with him.

Buffy’s eyes widened when they met his.

He smiled to make her feel better. “We really have to stop meeting like this.”

Buffy felt her heart race and wondered why he came over to her. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Spike waved his hand in the air. “Don’t worry about it. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

Buffy figured that he probably needed help with an assignment. Why else would the most popular guy in school talk to her? “Oh, did you need me to tutor you?”

Spike was taken aback by her question. He wasn’t expecting that. Did she think he was stupid? God, he hoped not. “No, my grades are fine. I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to go to the Espresso Pump after school with me. That is if you’re not doing anything else. We could get a cup of coffee and talk.”

Buffy didn’t understand why he would want to go anywhere with her. He never seemed to notice her before. “Why would you want to do that?” she voiced her thoughts and really wished that she could shut up, he might change his mind.

Spike shrugged. “Well, we’ve been in the same classes since last year and we really don’t know each other. I was hoping to change that.”

Buffy looked around the halls to see if there were any other students waiting to laugh at her when Spike revealed that it was all a joke. He just couldn’t be serious, but looking into his eyes, he did actually seem sincere. She didn’t believe that anyone could be that good of a liar. After what felt like forever, she finally accepted his offer. “Okay, that sounds good. I mean, I didn’t exactly have any other plans.”

A bright smile lit up his face. “That’s great; I guess I’ll meet you at your locker after school. Did you drive here?”

Buffy shook her head. “I just walk; it’s not that far from where I live.”

He nodded. “That’s fine; we can go in my car. I can give you a ride home afterwards.”

Buffy nodded as well, still surprised that this conversation was even taking place.

Spike suddenly did something completely unexpected for both of them. He leaned closer to her and placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll see you after school,” he said with a smile, then turned and walked away.

Buffy was stunned and caressed the spot where his lips touched, a small smile forming on her face. Things were finally starting to look up. Maybe she wasn’t quite ready to end her life yet; it looked like she finally found something worth living for.


* * * * *


“So, why did you move to this crap town? You’re from Los Angeles, right?”

Buffy nodded and really wanted to avoid telling him the truth of her past in LA. It wasn’t something she cared to relive. “My dad got transferred for work and we had to relocate here,” she explained, taking a sip from her cappuccino. “What does your dad do?”

Spike was surprised that she hadn’t heard of his father, which made him like her all the more. “He’s a pretty powerful lawyer. He’s won every case pretty much since I’ve been born. I don’t know of him ever losing. He’s put a lot of criminals behind bars. They’re obviously not so fond of him, but everyone else in town idolizes him.”

“Wow, he sounds great.”

Spike agreed and looked away from her. Sure, his father was a great man when it came to everyone else, but he wasn’t always there for his own kids. The job seemed to be more important to him. “So, do you have any plans for this weekend?” he asked, changing the subject.

Buffy shook her head, not wanting him to know that she technically hadn’t planned on living to see the weekend. The idea of killing herself didn’t seem so appealing now. Besides, with her luck she would probably fail again and be forced into another mental institution. “I just have homework and stuff around the house to do.”

He smiled. “There’s this bonfire thing that’s being held at the beach on Saturday. Would you like to go with me?”

Buffy couldn’t believe that he was actually asking her out again, but figured it wasn’t a date. He was probably just being nice and telling the truth about wanting to get to know her. That was all it was, maybe he just wanted to be her friend for some reason. She was starting to get more and more suspicious by his actions. Spike was really popular, but he was the only one that never teased or ridiculed her. It was still hard to believe that he could ever really be interested in someone like her. She wasn’t popular and attractive like the other girls. She was just basically there to take up space. “I…I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” she replied, cursing herself for stuttering.

His smile faded a bit. “Oh, that’s okay. We don’t have to go there if you don’t want to. We could always do something else.”

“You should go, they’re your friends. I don’t really belong there.” Buffy stood up and suddenly wanted to be elsewhere. “I should be getting home now. You don’t have to drive me; it’s really not that far. Thanks again for the cappuccino. I’ll find a way to pay you back,” she told him, then quickly made her way out of the Espresso Pump.

Spike watched her walk away with confusion, wondering what could have gone wrong. It seemed like they were making some progress. He thought that Buffy was starting to like him, but she was probably just waiting to find an excuse to leave. Spike didn’t know what to do, but he wasn’t about to give up on her now. There was no doubt in his mind that this girl was the one for him, he just had to make her realize it.

Chapter 5

Buffy felt numb when she reached her bedroom. Her father actually decided to send her away after graduation. It didn’t matter what she wanted, or that she was almost eighteen. He kept saying that it would be for her own good, but she knew better. He just wanted to be rid of her for a few months, just like when he sent her to stay at the clinic. She rested her head against the door of her room and continued to let the tears fall, surprised that she even had any left in her. It was all just too much. Buffy wondered if she would ever matter to anyone. She suddenly remembered something and moved over to her nightstand, rummaging through her drawer until she found what she was looking for. Buffy took a deep breath as she pulled out the pocket knife that she kept in there. Her father never knew that she had it. She then lifted the blade up and gazed at the sharp edges, knowing that it could take away all of her pain. Buffy lowered the blade to her arm, then stopped when she realized what she was doing. She gasped and dropped the knife to the floor, stepping away from it. A pounding on the door halted her from giving in to more tears.

“Dinner’s ready!” her father yelled before making his way back down the stairs.

Buffy didn’t know how she was going to face sitting through another dinner of them pretending to be the perfect family.


* * * * *


It was the first time in over a year that Buffy found an Art class to be boring. She usually looked forward to it, but now she just wanted to be elsewhere. She spent the time doodling in her notebook as the teacher went on about nothing that mattered to her, anxiously waiting for the bell to ring.

“God, what a total snooze fest. How could one man be so dull?”

Buffy turned away from her drawing to stare at the girl that spoke, shocked when she saw that it was Dawn Giles. She was just as popular as Spike and Buffy was always intimidated by her. Dawn got transferred into her Art class a few weeks ago, but never once talked to Buffy. “Um, yeah, majorly dull.” She cringed at how lame that sounded, but didn’t know what else to say.

Dawn agreed. “I don’t even know why I’m in this class. I can barely make decent stick figures. What were you drawing?”

Buffy placed her hands over her notebook to shield it from the brunette’s view. “It’s nothing.”

Dawn rolled her eyes and pushed Buffy’s hands away. “That is so not nothing. You’re pretty good. Who’s it supposed to be?”

Buffy blushed and glanced down at her drawing. “She’s my mom. It’s really not that great.”

“You’re being modest. My brother would love that. He’s such a geek when it comes to artwork. You should see his room. Most guys in high school would have band posters up, but not Spike. His walls are full of paintings that he bought at some gallery. He can’t do any himself, but he likes to admire other people’s work. Do you paint?”

Buffy was taken by surprise at the fact that Spike was a fan of art. She never would have expected that from him, then tuned back in to what Dawn was saying. “I used to, but I’m just more about sketching now.”

Dawn nodded. “I think it works for you. What’s your name again?”

“Buffy Summers,” she replied softly, figuring that the other girl wouldn’t have a clue who she was.

“Cool, I’m Dawn.”

It was Buffy’s turn to nod. “I know who you are. I think everyone in school does.”

Dawn rolled her eyes again. “They know of me, but they don’t actually know me. Let me guess, you heard that I’m some stuck up snob, right? That I only care about money and appearance? Or that I’m basically easy and will put out for anyone?”

Buffy looked away, which gave Dawn the answer that she needed.

“I thought so. It’s all a bunch of crap. They don’t really know anything about us.”

Buffy was seeing the older girl in a new light. She felt ashamed that she actually believed some of the rumors. “Why don’t you tell them the truth?”

“These people will believe what they want. We try not to let it get to us. Besides, being popular is kind of fun. I love having these lowlifes eat out the palm of my hand.”

Buffy gave a tiny smile. “That must be nice.”


* * * * *


They walked out together when they were finally dismissed from Art class.

Buffy was enjoying having someone to talk to, but the joy was soon replaced with nervousness when Spike headed over to them.

His eyes widened at the sight of Buffy talking with his sister.

She quickly thought of a way out. “I have to get something from my locker. It was nice to finally meet you, Dawn.”

“Likewise, we should hang out some time.”

Buffy was stunned by her request, but only nodded and took off in the opposite direction.

Spike finally made it over to Dawn, confused by why Buffy hurried to get away. “What was that about?” he wondered.

Dawn shrugged. “She had to get something out of her locker. That was Buffy; she could be a new friend. I hardly have any real ones at this school. It’s nice to meet people that won’t judge you all of the time.”

Spike finally looked at his sister when he couldn’t see Buffy anymore. “I know who she is. I just didn’t realize that you knew her.”

“Well, I didn’t really. I’ve seen her around, but this was the first time that we actually talked. She’s pretty cool.”

Spike agreed and was lost in his own thoughts. “Bloody amazing is how I would describe her. You should invite her over to the house for dinner one night. She can get to know the whole family. I mean, that’s what you’re supposed to do with friends.”

Dawn raised her eyebrows. “Okay, you’re freaking me out. Did you just say that she was amazing?” Her eyes brightened when she noticed him blush. “Oh my god, she’s the girl that you’re crushing on?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. How do you know that I’m interested in anyone?”

She couldn’t believe how dense he was. “Duh, I’ve seen your poetry. You just leave it laying around for anyone to find.”

Spike glared at her. “I left them in my room, which you’re not supposed to go in without asking. I could have written about anything.”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I remember seeing a line about golden hair like the sun, but I suppose that could be anything. Oh, maybe you wrote about Harmony,” she said teasingly.

“You’re bloody daft if you think I would waste poetry on that bird. Buffy’s hair is more gold than…” He trailed off at the triumphant expression on her face. “You’re a brat.”

Dawn grinned. “Yeah, but I love it when I’m right.”

“You better not tell her about the poems,” Spike warned.

She waved her hand in the air. “Your secret is safe with me, but I did kind of reveal about your love of paintings.”

His eyes bulged. “You have a five second head start.”

Dawn let out a squeal as Spike chased her down the hall.

Chapter 6

“So, does your sister ever mention me?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “For crying out loud, Harris. We go through this almost every bloody day. If you want to go out with Dawn, you have to ask her.”

His eyes widened. “You mean actually talk to her? I couldn’t do that. She’s way out of my league. I mean, you’ve seen the guys that she’s been with.”

Spike nodded. “Yeah, which is exactly why she needs a change. You’re a good bloke, Xander. She needs to be with someone more like you, instead of someone like white bread over there.”

Xander looked to see that he was pointing at Riley Finn in the distance, one of the popular guys in school. “They broke up, right?”

“Dawn let Finn go after she found him with another girl. He actually had the nerve to cheat on her because she wouldn’t sleep with him. I still have an urge to strangle the pillock, but I’m just glad that she finally came to her senses about him. There isn’t a bloke in this school good enough for my sister.”

Xander glanced down at the lunch table.

Spike then felt bad about what he said. “I didn’t mean that. I just meant those pompous wankers aren’t good enough for her. Dawn doesn’t care whether someone is popular or has a lot of money; she only cares about a good heart. That’s definitely you, mate. You should talk to her, she might surprise you.”

Xander gazed back up at him and decided to make things more interesting. “Okay, but only on one condition. If I finally get the guts to ask Dawn out, then you have to do the same with Buffy.”

It was now Spike’s turn to be nervous. “I already did ask her out and it didn’t go very well. She’s not interested in me. I don’t know what more I have to do.”

“How do you really know that she’s not interested? She’s probably just shy. Do you ever see her with anyone around school? The girl probably doesn’t have a lot of friends. Keeping to yourself like that all of the time has to get lonely. You should give it another try. She’s worth it, isn’t she?”

Spike thought it over and looked across the cafeteria to see that Buffy was once again sitting alone at her usual table. “She’s worth everything.”

Xander grinned. “I thought so.”


* * * * *


“God, I can’t wait for this year to be over. I’m so sick of high school boys. Aren’t you?”

Buffy didn’t know how to answer that. “I guess so.” She was still surprised to be sitting in the living room of the Giles home. It was a shock when Dawn invited her over after school, but she wasn’t about to turn down what was probably a one time offer.

Dawn smiled and moved closer to her. “Have you ever thought about leaving your hair down more often? You always have it up most of the time at school. Not saying that’s a bad thing, but I bet it would look great down. Can I try?”

Buffy nodded and let Dawn pull the scrunchy out of her hair, her golden locks now falling around her shoulders.

“Yeah, I was right. You’re a total hottie. Oh, I have the best idea. What do you say about me giving you a makeover? It wouldn’t be much, just some make up and maybe different clothes. You have a body under all of these layers, I just know it. It would give me something to do that’s not homework. Pretty please,” she pleaded.

It did sound like a good idea, but Buffy was worried about her scars. She always covered them up for a reason; luckily she was saved from answering at the arrival of Spike.

“Dawn? Are you here?” he called out.

“In the living room, doofus!” she yelled back in her usual way.

“I told you to never call me that,” Spike responded, then stopped at the sight of Buffy sitting with his sister. He wasn’t expecting to see her there. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Dawn shrugged. “I was just trying to talk Buffy into letting me give her a makeover. It could be fun.”

Spike was outraged at that suggestion. “She’s not a bloody Barbie! Don’t you have homework that you should be getting to?”

Dawn rolled her eyes and turned back to Buffy. “He acts like he’s so much older than me. I’m the one that gets better grades, anyway.”

Buffy couldn’t help chuckling a little at that.

Spike glared at the back of his sister’s head. “Could I see you in the kitchen for a moment?”

She let out a sigh and went to join him.

Spike didn’t address her until they were out of earshot. “What the bloody hell are you doing, Dawn? Don’t embarrass me in front of her. And what is all this about a makeover? That’s the last thing she needs.”

“I was only trying to help. I figured it might make her feel better about herself. I wasn’t really trying to change her or anything.”

Spike nodded. “I should hope not. Buffy doesn’t need to change. She’s perfect just the way she is.”

Dawn was stunned. “Wow, you’ve really got it bad. I’ve never heard you talk about a girl like that before.”

“That’s because I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I would have liked a warning that she was going to be here.”

Dawn looked apologetic. “Sorry, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. I wanted to tell you after school, but I can never find you.”

A throat being cleared in the doorway turned their attention off of each other.

Spike gulped when he saw Buffy standing there, praying that she didn’t overhear any of the conversation.

“Sorry to interrupt. I should probably get home now. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”

Dawn shook her head. “You’re not causing any trouble. My brother is just being a butthead. Do you really have to go home now? We can go up to my room and study for a bit.”

Buffy thought it over and realized that going home was the last thing she wanted to do. “Okay, that sounds good.”

Dawn smiled and glanced back at Spike. “We’ll just be upstairs,” she claimed, leading Buffy out of the kitchen.

Spike let out a breath that he didn’t even realize he was holding. The girl of his dreams was in his house. She was so close, and yet he still couldn’t manage to talk to her.

Chapter 7

“That was nice of Dawn to invite Buffy over like that.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Don’t make it sound like she’s some kind of angel, Harris. She did it to make me uncomfortable, and probably to say embarrassing things about me. I know you’re in love with my sister and all, but sometimes she’s just pure evil.”

Xander sighed as he gazed across the cafeteria at Dawn, who was laughing and smiling with a few of the jocks. “No way, Spike. Evil can’t be that hot. Man, your sister is looking sexy today.” He realized that was the wrong thing to say when he noticed the glare on Spike’s face. “Sorry about that, but I can’t help the way I feel. I would give anything to have her look at me like that.”

Spike couldn’t exactly blame his friend for that. He felt the same way when it came to Buffy. He noticed that his girl was once again at the same table, her focus on the notebook in front of her. “What do you suppose she’s always writing in that book?”

Xander shrugged and knew that he wasn’t talking about Dawn. “I don’t know. It looks like it could be a journal or something.”

Spike could see that she was very resolute with whatever she was writing. She was hardly paying attention to anyone around her. It was just another Buffy mystery that he was determined to figure out.


* * * * *


Buffy glanced down at her new sketch once it was finished. It was by far her favorite one of Spike. She knew that it was risky to be drawing him so much in school, but she couldn’t help it. There was always something about him that inspired her. She then felt saddened when she thought back to the other day at Spike and Dawn’s house. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the end of their conversation, the only part she was able to overhear. Spike was telling Dawn that he would have liked a warning about her being there. That led her to believe that he really didn’t want her there. Buffy really couldn’t blame him, but she was at least grateful that Dawn seemed to be giving her a chance. It was more than she ever thought she would have. Buffy was too lost in her thoughts to notice that someone appeared behind her and before she knew it, her sketchbook was snatched away.

“Well, what do we have here?”

Buffy panicked when she realized it was Megan Walsh. The cheerleader always went out of her way to make Buffy miserable. “Can…Can I please have my book back?” she pleaded, hating the fact that she stuttered again.

Megan wouldn’t budge. “Isn’t this sweet? There’s like tons of pictures of Spike in here. That’s just really pathetic. I can’t believe you of all people have a crush on the most popular guy in school. Like he would ever even know you exist,” she claimed with a laugh.

Buffy noticed that a few of Megan’s friends joined her, all of them just as amused by this new turn of events. She just wanted her book back and to get out of there, but that didn’t seem likely to happen.

“These are pretty good; it’s just a shame that they’re pointless. Hey, Harm, check these out.”

Harmony Kendall moved over to Megan and peered at the sketchbook, her eyes widening. “Hey, that’s my Blondie Bear!” she screeched and caused a few heads in the cafeteria to glance in their direction to see what the commotion was about, including Spike.

Megan rolled her eyes. “He’s not your anything. Betty here thinks that she would actually have a chance with Spike. Isn’t that just hilarious?”

Those around her giggled and Buffy felt like crawling into a black hole.

Megan gave her a sinister grin. “Why don’t we let him be the judge?” she said, just as Spike walked over to them.

“What’s going on?” he wondered.

Megan licked her lips, always happy to be in his presence. “Just a little something that you should see. I think Summers has been stalking you, Spike. You might need to get a restraining order.”

Buffy felt like her heart would stop when Megan handed him her sketchbook. She couldn’t believe this was happening. He would definitely want nothing to do with her now.

Spike browsed through a few of the pages, shock completely taking over his features when he realized that most of the book was filled with pictures of him. He glanced away and turned his attention on Buffy, who had a look of fear on her face.

Buffy couldn’t take anymore. She could handle the harsh words and ridicule from the rest of the school. She was pretty much used to it by now, but she couldn’t handle it from him. With that thought in mind, she bounded to her feet and took off running out of the cafeteria. Not looking back once.


* * * * *


Spike was about to tell Buffy how much he appreciated her work, but never got the chance when she ran off. The others were still laughing and making fun of her. He didn’t know why he never realized how cruel they were before; maybe they just hid that around him. He was infuriated and slammed a nearby textbook that he found on the table, it did the trick when everyone immediately stopped.

“What the bloody hell gives any of you the right to treat someone like that? That girl never did anything to you. If I see anyone bothering her again, you’ll have me to answer to,” he spat and took off to find Buffy, leaving a lot of confused stares behind him.


* * * * *


Spike found Dawn outside of the girl’s restroom and ran over to her.

She was relieved to see him. “Buffy’s in one of the stalls. I tried to talk to her, but she won’t come out. She just keeps crying.”

Spike felt his heart break and knew that he had to make things right. “I’m going in there; you make sure that no one comes in.”

Dawn nodded and watched the door when Spike walked inside, knowing that he would be able to get through to her.


* * * * *


Spike could clearly hear her sobs once he entered the bathroom. He found the stall that she was in and knocked on the door.

“Buffy, are you okay?” he asked, even though he knew that there was no way she could be. He was relieved when the crying stopped and she opened the door. Her eyes watery and red from the tears, which just made him want to protect her all the more.

Buffy quickly wiped her eyes when she caught him staring.

Spike didn’t know what else to do and just handed her back the sketchbook. “I believe this belongs to you.”

Buffy took the book from him and started to feel more tears stream down her face. “I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t mean to.”

He was confused about why she would be apologizing to him. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Those bloody idiots are the ones that should be apologizing. Did you really draw all of those?”

Buffy nodded and wondered if he was going to tell her to stay away from him now, but an expression of awe took over his features instead.

Spike wiped one of her tears away and graced her with a soft smile. “They’re amazing, Buffy. You really see me like that?”

Buffy nodded again, not knowing what else to say. “I always see you,” she whispered, praying that she wouldn’t regret it.

Spike felt his heart swell now. He couldn’t believe that she actually had feelings for him, but that’s what it seemed like. “I always see you, too. You have no bloody idea,” he finally admitted, then captured her lips with his.

Chapter 8

Spike broke out of the kiss when breathing became an issue, rubbing his nose against hers.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so bloody long.”

Buffy opened her eyes to stare into his, not realizing that she closed them during the kiss. She was surprised that he kissed her at all. “Really?” she said and was still in a state of shock.

He only smiled. “You have no idea how long I’ve dreamt about kissing you.”

Buffy couldn’t believe that any of this was happening, but she didn’t have much time to think about it when the bathroom door suddenly burst open.

“Hey, is everything okay in here?” Dawn wondered, raising her eyebrows when she saw how close they were.

Spike nodded and turned to his sister. “Yeah, everything’s fine now. We were just talking.”

Buffy noticed that he kept his arm around her and it felt very comforting.

Dawn smiled when she realized what they were probably talking about. “Well, we only have one more period left. I would say there’s no point in going to class, so why don’t we take the rest of the day off? I think we could all use it.”

Buffy normally would never consider skipping out on a class, but she was all for it right now. Getting out of the school seemed like a really good idea at the moment.

Spike agreed and they all left the restroom. He glared at anyone giving them looks when they walked out, his hold on Buffy tightening. She was his girl now and he wanted everyone to know that, maybe they would think twice about giving her a hard time.


* * * * *


They found themselves at the park a little while later.

Buffy and Spike were seated on a bench, while Dawn was flirting with some guys that she met.

Spike wouldn’t usually like to tolerate that, but right now he was grateful since it gave him some alone time with Buffy. He still held her hand in his and if he had his way, he would never let go. “Do they always treat you like that?” he asked after a moment of silence.

Buffy nodded and looked away from his gaze. “Yeah, it’s mostly just Megan. She’s always had something against me, but her friends usually have no problem joining in on the torment.”

Spike grasped her hand tighter. “I’m sorry about that, love. I had no idea that things were so bad for you at school. I always just assumed you were by yourself because you chose to be.”

She shook her head. “I’m always by myself because I don’t really have any friends. Dawn is the first person to befriend me in over a year. She’s been really great.”

Spike glanced out at his sister. “She has her moments, but now it’s safe to say that you have two friends.”

Buffy smiled. “I think I can handle that.”

He smiled in return. “I still can’t believe that most of your drawings were of me. They were incredible, Buffy. You truly have a gift.”

She blushed at the compliments, not used to hearing such nice things about anything that she did. “They’re not all that great. It’s just a hobby.”

“Well, it’s a bloody good one. You should be proud of your work, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

She looked up at him in wonder. “Thank you.”

Spike leaned closer to her and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

It lasted all of a second, but Buffy never felt anything like it.

“You don’t have to thank me. Do you have any idea how wonderful you are? How much I’ve dreamt of just being able to hold your hand? God, no one has ever made me feel like this. You have the ability to make my heart skip a beat by just looking in my direction. It feels so good to finally be able to tell you that.”

Buffy didn’t even realize that more tears fell from her eyes, until she felt the wetness on her cheeks. She then broke down into sobs and wrapped her arms around him, never wanting to let go. No one had ever made her feel so special in her life. She didn’t think it was possible and prayed that this wasn’t a dream that she would soon wake up from.

Spike held her close to him and pressed his lips to the crown of her head. “It’s okay now, sweetheart. It’s all going to be okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”

Dawn chose that moment to walk back over to them, worry evident on her face. “Is she all right?”

Spike nodded and ran his fingers through Buffy’s hair soothingly. “She just needs to let it out. You can head home now if you want, Dawn. I’ll take care of her.”

Dawn nodded as well and after giving them one more look, took off in the other direction.

Buffy pulled away when she felt that all of her tears were cried out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to break down on you.”

Spike smiled and wiped her remaining tears away with his thumb. “Hey, no need to apologize for that. I’m just glad that I could help. You wanna get out of here? I could take you home, or we could go somewhere else? Whatever you want,” he explained, pulling her off of the bench.

The last thing Buffy wanted to do was go home. She had a feeling that would just make her more miserable. “Can we go back to your house? I liked it there.”

Spike was satisfied by her answer. “As you wish,” he said with a wink.

Buffy laughed and it felt like she hadn’t done that in years. “How did you know The Princess Bride was my favorite movie?”

“You wrote that report on it last year in English class. I could just tell it was a favorite when you got up in front of the class and talked so passionately about it. I probably have the whole thing memorized. I could even recite it for you if you like.”

Buffy shook her head. “That’s really not necessary. You remembered my report?”

Spike gave her hand a squeeze and looked into her eyes. “I remember everything about you, Buffy. I’ve been watching you since you first arrived at Sunnydale High. You’ve fascinated me from that first moment.” He paused. “Okay, that sounded less creepy in my head.”

Buffy couldn’t believe that he thought about her all that time. “Not creepy. I’ve been watching you, too. I just didn’t think you knew I existed.”

“I felt the same way, but that’s all going to change now. I’m never going to let you go, Buffy. I’m not capable of it. I’ve wanted you for too sodding long.”

She felt touched; he just kept turning her into a puddle of mush with his words. “That works for me.”

Chapter 9

“Do you think my nose is hideous?”

Spike was surprised by her sudden question, clearly not expecting that. “Your nose is adorable. Where did that come from?”

She shrugged. “I was just wondering.”

Spike moved closer to her. “There isn’t anything about you that’s not adorable.” He was rewarded with another one of her blushes, which just proved his point. “I love that I can get you to do that.”

Buffy tucked a strand of her golden hair behind her ear, not knowing how to respond to that.

“God, Spike, give her some breathing room. He’s always invading personal space.”

He sent a glare in his sister’s direction. “Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?”

Dawn held her hands up and walked out of the kitchen, without bothering to say anything else.

Spike focused back on Buffy. “There’s something I’m still a bit confused about, love. Why did you ask me if I needed tutoring? Believe it or not, but I actually have a pretty good grade point average.”

Buffy looked ashamed at the thought that she could have offended him. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean any disrespect by it. I just figured that would be the only reason you would come up and talk to me. You never have before.”

It was Spike’s turn to feel ashamed. “There isn’t a day that I don’t regret not talking to you sooner. I was just bloody nervous, and that’s not something I would usually admit to. If I knew how you were being treated at school, I would have said something a lot earlier.”

“I’m a big girl, Spike. I don’t need you to fight my battles for me. I’ve handled a lot worse.” Buffy was shocked that she was able to be bold and say that, the look on Spike’s face proved that he was just as shocked.

“What could you have handled that was worse?” he wondered.

Buffy looked away from his gaze, not ready to talk about her dreaded past in LA. He would really want nothing to do with her then.

Spike could see that she was uncomfortable and decided to drop the subject, for now anyway. An older couple entering the kitchen put a stop to anything else that he would have said.

“Well, we’re off to the office party. We should be home late, and I expect for your homework to be done before then.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dad.”

“Oh, don’t embarrass him, Rupert. It was really great to meet you, Buffy. You’re the first girl that William has brought home to meet us. I didn’t think this day would ever come.”

Spike rubbed the back of his neck.

Buffy only nodded and gave the older woman a smile. “It was nice to meet you, too, Mr. and Mrs. Giles.”

“No need to be so formal with us, dear. You may just call me Giles, everyone else does. Come along now, Jenny. I think we’ve mortified the boy enough.”

She moved over to Spike and planted a kiss on his cheek, giving Buffy one more smile before leaving the house with her husband.

Spike wiped his cheek with the sleeve of his shirt. “Talk about him being embarrassing,” he mumbled.

Buffy smiled at him. “I think they’re sweet. It must be nice to have parents that care about you.” She stopped herself before she could reveal too much.

Spike tilted his head to study her better. “We’re friends now, Buffy. I want you to know that you can always talk to me if anything’s bothering you. It would just be between us, you don’t have to worry about me ever telling anyone your secrets.”

Buffy looked at him curiously. “What makes you think I have any secrets?”

He grinned and tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. “We all have secrets. Yours would be safe with me.”

She thought about it. “I’ll keep that in mind. It’s just hard to trust anyone these days.”

Spike agreed. “I can understand that, but every now and then, you have to let someone in. The world will be a pretty boring and lonely place if you don’t.”

Buffy felt herself tear up again and rubbed her eyes. “I don’t want to be lonely anymore.”

He got up and sat in the chair next to her, taking her in his arms. “You’ll never have to worry about that again, I promise.”

She clutched his shoulders, afraid to let go. Buffy really hoped that things would be different from now on.


* * * * *


Buffy decided to take Spike’s advice the next day. She was going to tell her father the truth, whether he listened to her or not. It was about time that she let him in on how she really felt. Buffy took a deep breath and entered the kitchen, relieved to see her father in there alone. He was sipping a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. She cleared her throat and prayed that she could get through this without crying.

“Daddy, could we talk?”

Hank glanced up at her and placed his paper down on the table. “Sure, about what?”

Buffy figured that was a good start and sat down across from him. She cut right to the chase. “I don’t want to go to Switzerland. I know I’ve had some problems, but I really think that I’m getting better. You don’t have to send me away again.”

“This isn’t a punishment, Buffy. It would be a great opportunity for you. Addie put a lot of hard work into booking this trip and getting you all registered at the school. You wouldn’t want to disappoint her, would you?”

Buffy bit her tongue from saying what she really wanted to about that horrible woman. “I just don’t think this is in my best interest. I…I think she just wants me out of the picture for a while. She hates me, Dad.”

Hank laughed. “That’s ridiculous; she loves you like her own daughter. She told me as much. She was asking me all kinds of questions about you, so she could get to know you better. All she wants is to bond with you, and this is the thanks she gets? It’s too late to back out of this trip. I’m sure you will love it if you give it a chance. You always wanted to see another country.”

Buffy was willing to do whatever she could to get him to change his mind. “I do want that, but I was hoping that we could have gone somewhere. I don’t want to go to a strange country by myself. I won’t know anyone there.”

“You’ll meet people that will help you adjust.”

She shook her head. “They’ll still be strangers to me. Can’t…Can’t the two of us go together?”

Hank let out a sigh. “Addie and I have hardly had anytime alone since we’ve been in Sunnydale. This trip is for you, not me. I can’t just skip out on work for a couple of months. You’ll have more fun without your old man around, anyway. This isn’t up for discussion, Buffy. I don’t want you bringing this up in front of Addie, it will only upset her. She’s really trying to be a good mother to you. It would be nice if you showed her a little respect,” he explained, then stood up and left the kitchen.

Buffy felt saddened at the conversation that took place, knowing that he would never understand. “She’s not my mother.”

Chapter 10

Buffy jumped when Addie burst into her room, a scowl on her face.

“Did you really think that your father would side with you on this one? He wants to get rid of you, Buffy. What part of that isn’t getting through to you? He’s just as happy about sending you to Switzerland as I am. There’s no getting out of it.”

Buffy had enough and was finally ready to give the dreadful woman a piece of her mind. “This isn’t over yet. My father will realize the monster he married, one way or another.”

Addie was taken by surprise. “Oh, look who decided to get a backbone. You can tell Hank all kinds of nasty things about me, but he’ll never listen. How does it feel knowing that your father would rather take my side over yours? You won’t win this, honey. You will be out of our lives soon enough, I’ll see to that.”

Buffy saw red and without putting much thought to her actions, reached out and grabbed the wig off of Addie’s head. She flung it to the floor and stepped on it. “I knew that was fake,” she spat.

Addie was enraged and struck Buffy hard across the face. “You miserable little bitch, just wait until your father hears about this.”

Buffy rubbed her stinging cheek.

Addie snatched up her hairpiece and glared at Buffy. “I can’t wait until you’re gone. Hank and I will throw a party in your absence.” She made her way over to the door, turning back one more time. “He never loved you, Buffy. He tells me all the time how he wished you were never born. I can’t say I really blame him. Why would anyone love someone as repulsive as you?”

Buffy managed to control her tears in Addie’s presence, but couldn’t stop them from coming out once the woman left the room. She had to get out of there.


* * * * *


Spike stopped at the house next to Buffy’s, needing a moment before he got up the courage to knock on her door. He didn’t even know why he was there, but just had an urge to see her again. It was then that he saw her front door open and Buffy run out of the house. He quickly got out of his car and took off after her. Spike chased her all the way to the park. He kept calling her name to get her to stop, but she didn’t even acknowledge that she heard him. She finally stopped and dropped to the ground, Spike hurried to get to her. He kneeled down to her side and tilted her head up, concerned to see the tears streaming down her face.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

Buffy only shook her head and wrapped her arms around him.

Spike did the same and pressed kisses to the top of her head, worried about what could have happened to her.


* * * * *


All he could see was pure hatred once Buffy explained about her step-mother. He didn’t understand how anyone could treat her like that.

“Is it wrong to hit a woman? I’m tempted to throttle her. I don’t care what happens to me, it would be worth it.”

Buffy managed a small smile. “I don’t think that would really help, but thanks for cheering me up.”

“How long has this been going on, Buffy?”

She shrugged. “I think since I started to live with them. She has always had something against me, and my father doesn’t see it. He thinks she’s perfect, it doesn’t matter what I say.”

Spike shook his head. “No one can be that oblivious to what’s going on right under their roof. I can’t say I’m all that fond of him, either.”

Buffy agreed. “I’m not so fond of him right now myself. He was never all that great of a father. I mean, he cheated on my mother with Addie and didn’t even care to show up to her funeral when she passed away. I was hoping that when I got sent to live with him things would be different, but Addie is always there. I hardly get to talk to him at all. I only managed to get him alone to talk about Switzerland because she was getting her nails done.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “What about Switzerland?”

She took a deep breath before explaining the rest. “Addie talked him into sending me to boarding school in Switzerland over the summer. I tried to tell him that I didn’t want to go, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“Okay, that’s not happening. I don’t care what I have to do, you’re not going. I’ll figure something out.”

Buffy could see how sincere he was and how the idea of her going away terrified him. She was still finding it hard to believe that someone cared about her that much. “What could you do?” she wondered.

He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t really know, but I’ll think of something. No one should be forced to go anywhere they don't want to. You’ll be eighteen soon, right?”

She nodded. “I will be in about three months.”

“Right, so you would be an adult. They can’t make you go. We’ll get through this, Buffy. I won’t let them send you away. You’re not alone anymore.”

Buffy smiled and touched her lips to his, surprised that she actually made the first move.

Spike was just as shocked, but not disappointed. He returned the kiss and pulled away when breathing became an issue.

It was then that Buffy was finally able to voice what had been on her mind. “Spike, what is this? Are we just friends?”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “We can be whatever you want, pet. I’m fine with just being your friend, but I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend.”

Her eyes brightened. “Really? You would want that?”

Spike smiled at how adorable she was. “Do you even need to ask? I’ve wanted you for a long time, Buffy. I’m willing to be whatever you want. There’s no pressure. If you’re not ready for me to be something more, then we can just stick to friends right now. It’s your decision.”

Buffy couldn’t believe that he was leaving the choice up to her, but she had no doubt about what it would be. “I would like to try something more.”

His smile widened and he leaned forward to press his lips to hers in a soft caress, pulling away after a moment. “Well, I guess you have yourself a boyfriend. Do you know what that means?”

“I’ve dated before when I lived in Los Angeles. Before my mother died, I seemed to do a lot more then. I just never got very far.”

Spike shook his head. “Do you know what it means now that I’m your boyfriend? You have yourself a willing slave, love. There isn’t anything I won’t do for you.”

Buffy felt her cheeks heat up. “I wouldn’t want you to be a slave. I might have moments where I’m difficult to deal with. I would understand if you decided that I wasn’t worth all of the effort. I…I wouldn’t be hurt by it. I would probably expect that to happen, but I don’t want you to think that I expect for you to do everything I say.” Anything else she might have said was cut off when Spike once again met his lips with hers.

Chapter 11

Buffy ignored the disapproving stares when she walked into the school with Spike, his hand clenching hers tightly. She still couldn’t believe that he didn’t mind being seen with her in public. In fact, he seemed to be proud to have her at his side. It was something that Buffy didn’t think she would ever get used to. She held her head up high as the other students that used to ridicule her looked on in envy. Her dad yelled at her after Addie complained about Buffy ripping off her wig, of course including some more of her lies and fake tears to make herself look even more the scorned party, but Buffy wasn’t about to let that get to her. She was with Spike now and knew that nothing could ever compare to that. It was going to be a good day.


* * * * *


“Hey, Harris, you know Buffy,” Spike said with a nod and sat down at his usual lunch table, pulling Buffy down with him.

Xander nodded and flashed her a smile. “It’s hard not to with the way you’re always going on about her.”

Buffy blushed and smiled in return. She already felt comfortable with Xander. He was the only friend of Spike’s that didn’t make it a habit to torment her.

“So, where do you suppose my sister is?”

Xander shrugged. “I haven’t seen her. She’s probably off with some jock,” he mumbled.

Buffy heard him and wondered if he had a crush on Dawn. She thought it would be really cute if they got together, but wasn’t about to put her nose where it didn’t belong.

Xander groaned. “Speaking of really dumb jocks, the King of them all is headed this way now.”

Spike turned to see what his friend was talking about, and groaned as well at the sight of Riley Finn.

The jock stood over their table and scoffed. “What’s this about, Giles? Are you taking on charity cases now?” he said, pointing a finger at Buffy.

She lowered her head in embarrassment.

Spike was seething. “I don’t see your mum here, so I guess not.”

Riley glared at him. “You don’t talk about my mother, you bleached freak. I’m not gonna bow down to you like every other idiot in this school. You and your bitch of a sister would be nothing without your daddy’s money.”

Spike had it and was about to stand up and give the bloke a piece of his mind, but the arrival of Dawn put a stop to his actions.

“You know what, Riley? Jealousy really doesn’t become you,” she commented and glanced down at his crotch. “Shouldn’t you be putting some ice on your dick right about now?”

He raised his eyebrows in confusion. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Dawn grinned and without any hesitation, brought her knee up into his groin.

Riley yelled out in pain and fell to the floor, clutching his privates in agony.

“You better put something on that before it swells,” Dawn claimed with a sweet smile.

Riley instantly shot up and hurried out of the cafeteria, laughter following after him.

Dawn turned back to the others, with the smile still on her face. “That felt great. I don’t know what I ever saw in him.”

Spike stood up and pecked his sister on the forehead. “I taught you well, that was bloody excellent.”

She waved her hand in the air. “It was long overdue. Well, I have a make up test to take, catch you guys later.”

Xander watched her go, a look of awe adorning his features. “God, I love that woman. Your sister is a goddess, man.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Don’t go telling her that, her ego is big enough as it is.” He placed his arm around Buffy and pulled her closer to his side, pressing a kiss to the top of her head to try and ease some of the pain that he knew Captain Cardboard caused.

She let out a sigh and leaned into him. It felt really good to be held.


* * * * *


“So, are you free this weekend?”

Buffy shook her head as they sat down on the same bench in the park. She considered it to be their bench now. “I’m grounded after the whole thing with Addie. I’m not allowed to go anywhere except for school, at least for two weeks.”

Spike nodded. “Well, we can wait until then to have our first official date. That just gives me more time to plan.”

“You don’t have to go to any trouble for me, Spike. I’m pretty simple.”

He took her hand in his, planting a kiss to her palm. “You’re my girl now, Buffy. You’re going to have to get used to me spoiling you. I want our first date to be special. It’s really no trouble at all.”

Buffy smiled and leaned closer to him, kissing him softly on the lips. “You’re pretty great, you know that?”

Spike blushed and realized that she was the only one that could bring the shyness out of him. “You’re pretty great yourself.” He then got back to what he really wanted to tell her. “Love, about what that git said to you today, he was just full of it. He’s always been jealous of me, even if he won’t admit it. It had nothing to do with you. I don’t want you to listen to anything they say. They don’t know you like I do. Everyone in that sodding school is too blind to see the amazing woman that you are. I’ve always seen it; I just wish it didn’t take me this long to say something about it.” He cupped her cheek and wiped one of the tears away that were now streaming down her face. “You are the most beautiful woman in that school; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They’re just jealous.”

Buffy nodded through her tears, nuzzling the hand that was still on her cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Spike rested his forehead against hers and sighed in contentment. “You don’t have to thank me for that, pet. I was only being honest.”

Buffy gazed into his blue eyes and could tell how sincere he was. If there was one thing Spike wasn’t, it was a liar. He always said exactly what he meant. All thoughts of suicide and leaving the world were not even a factor in her mind anymore. Without even realizing it, Spike managed to save her life by talking to her that one dreadful day when she was ready to end it all. Buffy just hoped that she would be able to tell him that.

Chapter 12

“Where are you going?”

Buffy turned at her father’s voice, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to get by him. “Well, I’m not grounded anymore. I was going to meet up with a friend.”

Hank took on a look of surprise at the thought of his daughter having a friend; she made a habit of keeping to herself since they moved to Sunnydale. “All right, but I want you home by eleven.”

Buffy nodded and gave her father a small smile, then walked over to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I love you, Daddy,” she whispered and left the house, leaving Hank to stare after her in shock.


* * * * *


“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

Buffy nodded eagerly. “I know this is probably not what you had in mind for a first date, but I’m not really one for fancy restaurants. When I was little, there was this carnival by our house that would open up every summer. My mom would always take me and we would spend the whole day just riding the rides constantly and eating all kinds of junk food. That was the only time she would let me spoil my dinner,” she explained, smiling at the memory.

Spike smiled in return and took her hand in his. “The carnival it is, then. This day is for you, Buffy. I’ll do anything you want.”


* * * * *


“There’s no way I’m getting on that.”

Buffy laughed. “Are you actually scared of the ferris wheel?”

He shook his head. “I’m not scared; I just prefer to stay on the ground.”

“Trust me, you’ll love it. The ferris wheel was always a favorite of mine. I love when it reaches the top; you can see everything from up there. Please, I promise you won’t regret it,” she said with a pout.

Spike knew that he was lost. “How is it possible that you already have me whipped? Okay, I’ll go on it, but if I plummet to my death, it’ll be your fault.”


* * * * *


“You can open your eyes now, Spike. It’s so beautiful up here.”

He slowly did as Buffy said and realized that she was right as he took in his surroundings. “Bloody hell, I think I can even see my house from here.”

Buffy giggled and pecked him on the lips.

Spike was startled. “What was that for?” he wondered.

She shrugged. “You’re just cute. I didn’t realize I needed an excuse to kiss my boyfriend.”

“First of all, I’m not bloody cute. Second of all, I love hearing you say that.” He pulled her closer to his side and planted a more passionate kiss on her lips.

The ferris wheel suddenly stopped when they reached the very top.

Spike jerked away from her. “What’s going on? Why did we stop?”

Buffy couldn’t resist laughing again. He really was too cute for words. “It’s okay; they’re only letting more people on. You really worry too much.”

His gaze softened as he caressed her cheek. “Only when I’m with you.”

Buffy felt touched and kissed him softly.

They were too lost in each other to notice when the ferris wheel came back to life.


* * * * *


Spike and Buffy walked to his house hand in hand after the carnival. She wasn’t quite ready to go home yet.

“Would you like to come in for a little while? We can just talk.”

Buffy nodded and followed him into the house, only to notice that it was completely deserted.

“My parents are away for the weekend and Dawn’s staying the night at a friend’s house,” he told her.

She suddenly felt nervous. “So, we’re here alone?”

He nodded as well. “We can just stay down here and watch the telly for a bit if you want. Nothing else has to happen; I still just want to get to know you better.”

Buffy sighed in relief, but decided that she would take a risk. “Can we go up to your room?” She saw the shocked expression on his face and continued. “You know, just to talk. Dawn told me about your artwork and I would love to see them.”

He blushed and looked away from her. “They’re not really mine. I’m not really all that creative; I just admire the work of others.”

“I would still love to see them, but only if you want to.”

Spike agreed after a moment and led her up the stairs, feeling nervous along the way. He stopped once they reached his door. “I’ve never brought anyone up here before. I guess I was a bit embarrassed, but I trust you.” He opened the door and let her into the room first, following in after her.

Buffy gasped when she took in all of the paintings that adorned his walls.

“I know it’s a bit much. Most blokes my age would have band posters or naked women on their walls, but I guess I like to be different.”

Buffy shook her head, shock written all over her face. “That’s not it.” She moved closer to one of the paintings and gently trailed her fingers over it. “Where did you get these?” she wondered, turning her attention back on Spike.

“I went to Los Angeles once a couple of years ago. I was waiting with Dawn for our parents to finish up some business thing and we stumbled across this art gallery by mistake. Once I saw all of these paintings, I just knew I had to have them. It was like something drew me in. The woman that worked there was really kind, she let me have them for a very good price. Apparently, the artist wanted to remain anonymous and decided to donate the paintings to help keep the gallery in business. When she told me that it was in trouble, something inside me broke. I couldn’t imagine that place not being around anymore, even if I didn’t live there. So, I gave her a bit more than she was offering. My father was furious that I spent so much on paintings, but he eventually got over it. We have all of this money; it felt good to use it wisely for once. I went back about a year ago to see how things were going, but the gallery was shut down because the owner passed away. I just wish I could remember her name.”

Buffy had tears streaming down her face at what he said. She took in a deep breath to calm herself. “Her name was Joyce Summers, she was my mother. All of these paintings were mine.”

Chapter 13

“That was your mother’s gallery? These are your paintings?” Spike wondered in shock.

Buffy nodded. “The gallery was in our family for decades, my mom worked hard to keep it in business. When she told me about the problems that she was having, I decided to contribute all of my recent pieces. Art was something I would do in my spare time, none of my friends ever knew about it. Believe it or not, I was popular in my old school. I was a cheerleader and dated the captain of the basketball team. I was embarrassed to tell them that I loved to paint; afraid that they would think it was stupid or something. I guess that was one reason I wanted to remain anonymous. After my mom died, it was like none of that mattered anymore. I stopped painting and lost all of my friends because I preferred to be alone. They didn’t want anything to do with me after a while. Everything completely changed when I got sent to live with my father and Addie, I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. She always had something against me since we first met, only nice when my dad is around. He left us for her and I never forgave him for it. He gave me some crap about how my mom was smothering and he needed a way out, but I can never forgive him for choosing someone like Addie. I just wish he could see what she’s really like.” Buffy paused and looked away from his intense stare, her cheeks heating up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go on like that.”

Spike shook his head and stepped closer to her. “I really don’t mind. I can’t believe I’ve had your paintings in my room this whole time. I never stopped wondering who the artist was. Your work is amazing, Buffy.”

She blushed even harder when she gazed back up at him. “It’s just a hobby.”

“This is more than just a hobby, pet. You have a true gift and I don’t think it’s something you should give up. I’m sure your mother would want you to continue with it.”

Buffy let out a sigh. “Maybe I will some day, but right now I’m happy with my sketches.”

He smiled. “Well, you also have a gift with that. Okay, I’ve been waiting for years to have the artist of these wonderful masterpieces in my presence. Would you care to tell me more about them?”

Buffy smiled in return and did just that.


* * * * *


Addie barged into Buffy’s room the next day, with a large smile on her face.

Buffy placed her sketchbook back under her pillow and looked at the woman in confusion.

“You are in a lot of trouble, young lady.”

Buffy didn’t know what she was talking about, but didn’t have a chance to respond when her father suddenly showed up in the doorway.

“I want a word with you downstairs, let’s go.”

Buffy watched as he walked away, then noticed the bright grin on the step-monster’s face and just knew that she had something to do with whatever pissed off her father. She held her head up high and walked by Addie, making her way down the stairs to find him waiting in the living room. “What’s going on?” she finally asked.

Hank held up his wallet for Buffy to see. “Would you like to explain this?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Uh, I think that’s a wallet. It’s something you put money in, so I hear.”

He glared at her. “Don’t be a smart ass, Buffy. I had a hundred dollars in here and now it’s gone. What could you possibly need that would cost that much?”

Buffy was stunned; she couldn’t believe that he would actually accuse her of stealing from him. “I don’t know where it is, but I didn’t take it.”

“You expect for me to believe that? There’s no one else that could have taken it.”

Buffy felt anger take control when she remembered the satisfied smile on Addie’s face. “Why don’t you ask your beloved wife? This is just like her to take your money and have you blame me for it, because God forbid your precious Addie could do anything wrong.”

Hank was shocked that she could speak to him that way. “You leave her out of this. Addie knows that she just has to ask me if she wants to borrow some money. I want the truth, Buffy.”

She felt her eyes start to tear up, but wouldn’t cry in front of him. “I am telling you the truth. I didn’t take your money. I know she did and just wants to get me in trouble. It really hurts that you would take her side over your own daughter’s, but you never were much of a father. Let’s face it; I’ll never come first in your life.” She couldn’t stop the tears from falling at the sight of Addie’s smiling face now at the bottom of the stairs. Buffy had enough; she didn’t want to deal with them anymore. With that thought in mind, she ran out of the house and didn’t look back.


* * * * *


Spike opened the front door to see Buffy standing out there, soaking wet from the sudden downpour. He could tell that she had been crying.

“Love, what happened?” he wondered, pulling her into the house and closing the door.

“I had to get out. He accused me of stealing from him. I couldn’t stay there anymore and didn’t know where else to go.”

Spike nodded. “It’s okay; we’ll get you upstairs and out of those wet clothes. You can stay here tonight; my parents won’t be back until tomorrow.”

She shivered a little and let him lead her up the stairs.

“Dawn’s already passed out, I was about to turn in myself.”

They entered his bedroom and Spike browsed through his drawers, pulling a long nightshirt out.

“Here, you can wear this for now. It should be big enough,” he said, handing her the shirt.

Buffy took it from him, with a small smile of gratitude.

“I’ll just make you some hot chocolate while you change. You’re probably freezing,” he told her.

“Thank you, I’m sorry to just show up like this.”

He waved his hand in the air. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be right back.”

Buffy watched him walk away, then stripped out of her sodden clothes. She put his shirt on and loved the feel of the fabric against her skin. She noticed that the shirt pretty much covered up everything.

Spike felt his breath catch in his throat once he returned to his room. She looked stunning in nothing but his shirt, but he just smiled and handed her the cup of hot chocolate.

Buffy took it with shaky fingers and breathed in the steam, already starting to warm up.

“All right, let’s get you under the covers.”

She nodded and placed the cup on his nightstand, then got into bed and looked up at him. “Where will you be sleeping?”

He shrugged. “I’ll just take the couch, it’s pretty comfortable.”

“I would feel bad about taking your bed, maybe we could share. It’s big enough for two people.”

Spike gulped and didn’t know if that was the best idea, but found himself removing his pants and shirt. It was a good thing that he was wearing boxers for a change. He got in on the other side of the bed and wrapped his arms around Buffy’s petite frame.

She snuggled up closer to him and rested her head against his shoulder. “Thank you again for letting me stay here, Spike. I don’t usually trust this easily, but I feel safe with you,” she whispered.

Spike pressed his lips to the crown of her head. “You can always feel safe with me, Buffy. That’s a promise.”

She smiled and closed her eyes, feeling at peace for the first real time in her life.

Chapter 14

Buffy opened her eyes to stare right into Spike’s. She blushed as the night before came back to her.

“Good morning, pet. I was starting to think that you would sleep the whole day away,” he told her.

“How long have you been watching me?”

Spike shrugged. “I guess for about an hour now. You looked so peaceful; it was hard to wake you.”

Buffy smiled, but it quickly faded when she remembered why she came to his house in the first place. “I should probably get home.”

He groaned. “I really don’t want to take you back there.”

“I really don’t want to go back there, but I don’t really have a choice.”

Spike rubbed her back in soothing circles. “I wish I could take you away from everything,” he whispered, pressing kisses to her neck.

Buffy giggled. “Stop, that tickles.”

He shook his head. “I don’t get to hear you laugh often enough. I have no intention of stopping.”

Buffy laughed louder when he started to suck on her neck. “My dad would kill me if I came home with a hickey.”

Spike pulled away to look at her flushed face. “That’s a good point; I’ll just have to mark you somewhere else then.”

She gasped in surprise when he lifted up the shirt she was wearing and planted kisses on her belly.

“There isn’t any part of you that’s not delicious.”

Buffy ran her fingers through his hair and shut her eyes in pure bliss, which was soon brought to an abrupt halt when his bedroom door burst open.

“Bloody hell, how many times have I told you to knock first?”

Dawn held up her hands in surrender. “Sorry, I just thought you would like to know that Mom and Dad will be home soon.”

He nodded. “Thanks for the warning, you can get out now.”

Dawn grinned and gave Buffy a little wave, then walked away.

Buffy felt a bit embarrassed to be caught by his sister, but decided to bring something else up that she had been thinking about. “How come you have an accent and Dawn doesn’t? You were born in England, right?”

Spike nodded again and had a feeling she was bound to wonder about that. “Yes, but we only lived there until we were about five-years-old. When we moved here, Dawn eventually just got rid of the accent to try and blend in more. I didn’t care about blending in and decided to stick with it.”

Buffy smiled. “That’s good to know, I couldn’t imagine you without the accent.”

Spike returned her smile, placing a soft kiss to her lips. “I’m with you there. I suppose we should get going now.”

She agreed, even though leaving was the last thing she wanted to do. “I guess it’s time to face the music. If I never see you again…”

He pressed his finger to her lips before she could finish the sentence. “You will, I’ll see to that. Who knows? Your father might decide to come around and get a clue. It’s that bitch of a step-mother that I’m more worried about. I think I would like to meet her one of these days. And If I’m going to be in your life, I should probably meet the old man, too. I want them to know how serious I am about you.”

“You’re serious about me?”

A smile lit up his features. “Haven’t you figured that out by now? Come on, let’s get you home.”

Buffy nodded and got out of bed, finding her now dry clothes to change back into.

Spike turned his back to give her some privacy. He would never forget the delectable sight of her in his shirt.


* * * * *


Buffy entered her house and was surprised to find the downstairs empty. She suddenly had a very bad feeling and quietly walked up the stairs. When she reached the top, she heard voices coming from her father’s room. Buffy wasn’t normally a nosy person, but she just knew they were talking about her again. She moved closer to the door, so she could hear them better.

“I just don’t know what to do with her anymore. She has a psychological breakdown in Los Angeles and tries to commit suicide, she steals money from me, and now she runs out of the house late at night and doesn’t even come back? God knows where she stayed all night, or who she was with.”

Addie placed a comforting hand on her husband’s arm. “I’m sorry Buffy is giving you such a hard time, honey. She’s a teenager; they always go through rebellious stages. Now you understand that sending her to Switzerland is the best thing, don’t you? There’s nothing more we can do to help her.”

Hank nodded. “I know it’s the right thing. I just wish there was some other way to help that doesn’t involve sending my daughter so far away. She hates me for taking her to that institution. I was trying so hard to gain back Buffy’s trust after leaving her and Joyce, but I’ll never forget the look of betrayal on her face when I dropped her off at the clinic. It took her weeks to speak to me again after she got out of there. I thought things would get better once we moved here. That we were making some progress, but everything just seems to be falling apart.”

Buffy stepped away after hearing enough, wiping her eyes of the tears that she didn’t even realize were there. She walked to her room and softly closed the door, leaning her head against it and letting more tears leak from her eyes.


* * * * *


She walked with a heavy heart over to her locker the next day. The conversation with her father once he realized she was home was not something that she ever cared to relive. Buffy let out a squeal when someone suddenly grabbed her around the waist. She turned and slapped him on the chest.

“Spike, you scared the crap out of me.”

He grinned. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. So, how did things go yesterday?”

Buffy shook her head. “Very badly, I came home to find them having another conversation about me and when I got a chance to talk to my father, it didn’t go so well. I’ll be lucky if I’m ever allowed to leave the house again.”

“I’m sorry about that, love. I’m sure everything is bound to look up, you can’t lose hope.”

She nodded. “I’m working on it. I have to get to class, so I guess I’ll see you at lunch.”

Spike nodded as well and watched her walk away, feeling his heart go out to the girl that he was easily falling in love with.

Chapter 15

Buffy’s books went flying to the floor. She looked up in surprise to see Megan glaring daggers at her.

“Sorry, you really seem to have this habit of getting in my way.”

Buffy retrieved her fallen books and stood up to face the cheerleader. “You crashed into me.”

Megan placed her hand over her heart. “Now, why would I do that? You shouldn’t blame your clumsiness on me, Betty.”

She figured there was no point in correcting her name and tried to walk by Megan, but the other girl wouldn’t budge.

“You know, I’m kinda glad I have you here right now. We seriously need to talk.” She didn’t wait for Buffy to respond and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from any onlookers. Megan let her go once they had some privacy. “So, I see you and Spike are pretty close lately. How the hell did that happen?”

Buffy shrugged and was already feeling uncomfortable by the conversation. “It just did, but I don’t really see how that’s any of your business.” She was stunned by the words that came out of her mouth, never making a habit of talking back to one of the most popular girls in school, but realized that it felt good.

“I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. Spike’s a player, he always has been. You haven’t been to this school as long as I have, so you don’t know him as well. Sure, he’ll pretend to be all nice and caring, but when he finally gets you to sleep with him, he’ll want nothing to do with you the next day. Believe me; I learned that the hard way.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, finding what she said hard to believe, but needing to ask her next question. “You and Spike were together?”

Megan waved her hand in the air. “About three years ago, we went out for a few weeks. He actually really made me fall for him, too. Spike’s a real charmer, but he only wanted sex. I was very naïve back then and fell for all of his lies. I’m the way I am today because of him. I became hard and bitchy just to protect myself. Believe it or not, but I used to be just like you. I was sweet and innocent, only cared about my schoolwork. I couldn’t even imagine ever being a cheerleader, but Spike opened up my eyes. I gave him my virginity, but it didn’t mean anything to him. That’s what Spike does; he preys on the innocent and weak. You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

Buffy nodded, not knowing what else to say.

“Yeah, I thought so. I would be careful if I were you. If there’s one thing Spike loves, it’s taking a virgin. And then bragging to his friends about it, he won’t want anything else to do with you after that. I’m just looking out for you here. Spike’s a monster and I would hate to see the same thing happen to someone else. I feel really bad about the way I’ve treated you. I want you to know how very sorry I am,” she finished with a smile.

Buffy had a hard time believing it was a genuine one, but was too busy being stunned at everything she just found out. It couldn’t be the truth. Spike would never use her like that. Buffy tried to convince herself, but she didn’t know what to believe anymore.


* * * * *


Spike was confused by Buffy’s behavior later that day. She wouldn’t look at him in lunch; she would hardly even talk to him. He wanted to get her alone to find out what was going on, but she was up and out of the cafeteria right when the bell rang.

Xander stared after her retreating back, then turned to his friend. “What’s up with her?”

Spike shook his head. “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”


* * * * *


“God, you should have seen the look on her face. She was eating up everything I said. I must be a better actress than I thought.”

Harmony giggled. “I wish I could have seen that. Serves the geek right for thinking she could steal my Blondie Bear away from me.”

Megan rolled her eyes. “Keep telling yourself that, Harm.” She jumped when her locker door was slammed shut, only to notice the angry face of Spike.

“I think we need to have ourselves a little chat, Walsh.” He pulled her away, not caring if his grip was too tight.

“If you wanted to be alone with me, all you had to do was ask nicely.”

Spike let her arm go. “I want to know what you said to Buffy.”

Megan shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Buffy is the last person I would ever be seen talking to.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you stupid bint. I heard what you said to Harmony and I know you’re responsible for the way she was acting earlier today.”

Megan moved closer to him, trailing her hands down his chest. “I just let her know what she would be getting herself into with you. She’s a sweet kid, but nowhere near good enough for you. I know what you want, Spike. It’s not some loser virgin that has no idea how to please a man. We had some good times in the past; I can make you forget all about her.”

Spike snatched her wrists and pried her hands off of his body, getting into her face. “The only thing you can manage is to make my skin crawl. I would never touch you, do you understand that? All we had in the past was one pathetic snog that you initiated. I spent hours trying to get the taste of your whorish self out of my mouth. I was just lucky not to catch a disease.”

Megan scowled at him, not believing that he could talk to her that way. “Oh, like you’re such a saint.”

He laughed. “Compared to you? I would say that I am. Now, I’m only going to say this once, so listen carefully. If I ever see you around Buffy again, I will make you regret it. My father has a lot of power in this town; don’t think for one second that I don’t know about your mother’s illegal establishment. I haven’t said anything yet because I’m not a squealer, but if you keep pissing me off, something is bound to slip. Do I make myself clear?”

She had a look of fear on her face now. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Spike grinned. “I’m not a saint, remember?”


* * * * *


Buffy felt her eyes tear up at the sight of Spike and Megan in the distance. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but he was standing pretty close to her and even touched her hand. Buffy wiped her eyes and couldn’t take anymore, needing to get out of there before she became a blubbering mess. With that thought in mind, she ran out of the school and didn’t look back.

Chapter 16

A knocking sounded on the door and Hank went to answer it, shocked to see the platinum blond man that was standing out there.

“Can I help you?”

Spike ran his fingers through his hair, nervous under the older man’s stare. “I’m William, a friend of Buffy’s from school. I was hoping to talk to her.”

Hank nodded after a moment. “Right, you’re the Giles kid, Buffy mentioned you. I know of your father. You can come in, but I can’t promise that she’s up to talking right now.”

Spike entered the house and looked around.

Hank shut the door. “I’ll let her know that you’re here.”

Spike nodded as well and waited for his return, thinking about what he would say to Buffy.

“Your father is Rupert Giles?”

He turned at the new voice to see an older woman that Spike presumed was Addie. “Yes, he is.”

She smiled. “I just love his work. That man isn’t afraid of anyone; he’s very highly talked about in this town. Why would someone of your wealth want anything to do with Buffy?”

Spike tried to control his temper, even though he wanted to tell this woman exactly what he thought of her. “You obviously don’t know her very well. I think you should be asking why someone as amazing as Buffy would want anything to do with me, I’m honored just to be in her presence.”

Addie was taken by surprise, but chose to ignore his comment. “Well, I’ve heard a lot about you, but I had no idea you were so handsome. If I was twenty years younger, you’d be in trouble,” she said with a wink.

Spike cringed at her statement, knowing that she would have to be about forty years younger and have a personality transplant before he would ever look twice at her.


* * * * *


“What’s going on with you two?”

Buffy shrugged. “Nothing, I just don’t feel like talking to him. I thought I was grounded, anyway? I shouldn’t be allowed visitors.”

Hank let out a sigh and sat down on the edge of her bed. “You’re only not allowed to go anywhere that’s not school, I wouldn’t keep you from your friends. I have to admit that it’s nice to see you finally making some here, you’ve kept to yourself for far too long.”

Buffy was about to respond, but didn’t get the chance when someone cleared a throat in her doorway.

Hank turned around to notice Spike and stood up.

“Sorry to intrude, I just wanted to see if everything was okay.”

Hank nodded. “I’ll just leave you two alone now,” he said, then made his way out of the room.

Buffy kept her head down to avoid looking at him.

“I really just came up here to get away from your step-mother. That woman is bloody scary, you weren’t wrong about her.”

A small smile formed on her face, even though she tried not to.

“Knew I could get a grin,” he claimed.

Buffy quickly wiped it off of her face and finally met his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

He stepped further into the room and sat down in front of her. “I came to talk to you, Buffy. I know why you’ve been avoiding me and I need to set things straight.”

She shook her head. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”

Spike raised his eyebrows and got right to the point. “I know what Megan said to you, but it was all lies. She’s a conniving bitch. You can’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth.”

Buffy told herself that she wouldn’t cry in front of him, but was finding it hard to keep that promise. “I didn’t really believe it at first, but then I saw the two of you together. You looked really close.”

Spike had a feeling about what she was referring to. “That was nothing; I was only trying to get information out of her about what she said to you. I basically threatened her to leave you alone. Megan has a demented crush on me. She’s been after me since the beginning of school, but there was never anything between us. I would never want anything to do with her. You mean far too much to me.”

Buffy gazed into his eyes to see how sincere he was, but still needed more reassurance. “She told me you were a player and that you’re only after sex. That you’re only interested in me because I’m a virgin and after we sleep together, you won’t want anything to do with me anymore. She said you took her virginity and then dumped her afterwards.”

Spike would have laughed at all of that, if the look on her face wasn’t so worried. “First of all, Megan lost her virginity to some stupid jock when she was fourteen. That’s what I heard, anyway. Second of all, I do like that you’re a virgin. It means that I would be your first and that’s everything to me, but when it happens with us, it will be nothing but amazing. And I definitely don’t intend to let you go afterwards. Lastly, I’m not even close to being a player since I haven’t actually had sex yet.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “You’re a virgin?”

He nodded and took in a deep breath. “It’s not something I broadcast all that often, but it’s true. I’m not the womanizer that everyone thinks I am. I believe in being in love before sex is even considered.”

Buffy knew that she shouldn’t have doubted him. He had been nothing but honest with her since the beginning. It was stupid of her to ever believe anything the cheerleader said. “I’m sorry, Spike. I do believe you; it’s just that I’ve been cheated on before. My first boyfriend back in my old school was seeing my best friend at the time behind my back. I swore I would never let anyone get close enough to hurt me like that again.”

Spike was beyond relieved that she believed him and moved closer to her, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “You never have to worry about that with me, Buffy. I would die before I ever hurt you.”

Buffy felt her eyes tear up again and wrapped her arms around him. “I know,” she whispered.

Hank watched them from the doorway, with a small smile on his face. His little girl was growing up and it was about time he realized that. Hank had a lot to make up for, but he was willing to do whatever he could to gain back Buffy’s trust.

Chapter 17

Buffy entered the kitchen the next morning to find her father in there. She was about to leave, until he looked up and graced her with a smile.

“Good, you’re up. Sit down for a second, Buffy. I wanted to talk to you.”

She was confused by that, but did as he said.

“I have something for you,” he stated, going into his pocket to retrieve what looked to be a necklace.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “That’s Mom’s locket, I never saw her without it.”

Hank nodded. “It was in your mother’s things when I packed up her belongings. I must have put it away with the rest of her stuff and didn’t think much about it before now. I know she would have wanted you to have it,” he finished, handing her the locket.

Buffy took it from him, clearly stunned by the gesture. She gazed down at the necklace and opened up the heart, only to find a picture of her inside. Tears formed in her eyes as she glanced back up at her father. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He smiled and felt his own eyes tear up, it being so long since he had any real conversation with his daughter.

Buffy wiped her eyes and placed the necklace around her neck, grateful to finally have a part of her mother with her. She gazed back at her father and knew that she had to try one more time to get him to listen to her; it seemed they were making some progress. “Daddy, please don’t send me to Switzerland. I’ll try to do better, I really will. I finally have real friends here. I don’t want to leave.”

Hank let out a sigh. “You really don’t want to go?”

She shook her head and waited for him to continue.

“All right, I’ll talk to Addie about it. She’ll be upset, but I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Buffy sighed in relief, but silently prayed that the step-monster wouldn’t get him to change his mind.


* * * * *


Spike was taken by surprise when Buffy pounced on him by his locker, her lips attacking his in a passionate kiss. He gently pushed her away when breathing became an issue.

“Wow, what was that for?”

She smiled. “I’m just in a good mood for once. I don’t have to go to Switzerland. My dad talked to Addie about it and she’s totally pissed off, but of course pretended not to be around him. I’m just relieved that she didn’t get him to change his mind. He actually listened to me for a change, and gave me my mother’s locket,” she claimed, touching the necklace that was resting against her neck. “I didn’t think I would see this again.”

Spike smiled as well, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I’m happy to hear about that, pet. How about the two of us go away to London after graduation? I was always planning to go back for a visit and I would love if you went with me.”

“Really? I’ve always wanted to see England.”

He nodded. “I would be happy to show it to you. My grandmother lives there, I’m sure she would let us stay with her for a bit. Dawn already has plans for the summer, so it would just be us.”

Buffy eagerly nodded. “I would like that. Are you planning on going to the homecoming dance?” she wondered suddenly.

Spike shook his head. “I wasn’t thinking about it. I was never really into dances. Why? Did you want to go?”

Buffy shrugged. “Not really, I’ve just never really been to one before, but it’s not a big deal. I suppose there’s always the Prom, but we don’t really have to go to that either. It doesn’t really matter to me, whatever you wanna do is fine.”

Spike smiled fondly at how adorable she was. “Buffy, would you go to the homecoming dance with me?”

She blushed and nodded again. “Yes, that is if you don’t mind taking me. There’s no pressure.”

He wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss to the top of her head. “No pressure at all, I’m honored to take you.”

Buffy sighed against his chest, knowing that she would be happy to stay there forever.


* * * * *


“Okay, Xan-man, you can do this. Just think about what Spiderman would do.”

“Talking to yourself, Xander?” a female voice said.

He turned around with a start to see Dawn standing behind him. “Where did you come from? I thought you were in the locker room.”

She shook her head. “I got out of gym today. Were you waiting to talk to me, or do you just make a habit of loitering outside the girl’s locker room? That’s a bit creepy.”

Xander shook his head, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I was waiting to talk to you, but now I’m thinking that was a really bad idea.”

“Well, I’m here now. So, what did you want? Is it something about Spike?”

He took in a deep breath. “No, I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to date me.” A pause. “Wait, that came out wrong. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me, feel free to be gentle when you let me down.”

Dawn smiled. “Why would I let you down? I’ll go out with you, Xander. It’s about time that you asked me.”

His jaw nearly dropped in shock. “You were hoping that I would ask you out?”

She nodded. “For like months now, I’m not one to make a habit of doing the asking first. I’ve always thought you were cute, and I’ve seen the way you look at me. I figured it was only a matter of time.”

Xander was speechless for the first time in his life.

Dawn snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Did I lose you somewhere?”

He shook himself out of his daze to answer her. “Can I walk you to class?”

Dawn laughed and looped her arm through his. “Lead the way, Xan-man.”


* * * * *


“I really don’t think we should be doing this. We could get in serious trouble.”

Megan rolled her eyes and again wondered about her decision to get Harmony involved. “Would you stop whining already? Everyone is out to lunch, just keep a look out and shut up. The faster you cooperate, the faster it’ll be for me to find her file.”

Harmony nodded and kept watching the front of the office, making sure that no one showed up.

Megan continued to browse through the student files, a bright smile lit up her face when she finally found the one she was looking for. “Score, the file of Buffy Summers. Now, let’s see exactly what you have to hide. I’m bound to find something in here that will make Spike think twice about choosing someone like her. Come on, we have work to do.”

Harmony nodded again and immediately followed Megan out of the office.

Chapter 18

Spike couldn’t contain his smile when he entered his house. Things were really going well with Buffy. They spent about a half an hour snogging at the park before he dropped her off at home. He was starting to feel better about her father; he didn’t seem all that bad of a bloke. It was the step-mother that he was more worried about. The fact that she wasn’t happy about Hank calling off the trip to Switzerland had him a bit nervous about what she might do. Spike just prayed the crazy bitch wouldn’t lay a finger on his girl, or he might really have to reconsider his rule about not hitting women. He was ripped out of his thoughts by a noise coming from upstairs and wondered if Dawn was hurt. With lightning speed, he barreled up the stairs and threw her bedroom door open. The sight in front of him was not something he ever expected to see.

“What the bloody hell is going on in here?”

Dawn instantly pulled away from Xander, embarrassed to be caught by her brother. It quickly turned to anger. “God, and you whine about me not knocking before barging into your room?”

Spike ignored her and glared at Xander. “Would you care to explain exactly why you were on top of my sister, Harris?”

He held his hands up. “We were only kissing, I swear. There may have been some groping, but it didn’t go any further than that.”

Dawn slapped his arm. “You don’t have to explain anything to him. I’m not a little kid, Spike. It’s not like you weren’t groping Buffy the other day in your room.”

Spike glared at her now. “That’s not the point, Dawn. You’re my sister and he’s my best friend, this is just weird.”

Xander stood up. “It’s not all that weird, man. You know how I feel about her. You told me that you wouldn’t mind her ending up with someone like me, or was that just a lie because you figured that she would never be interested in me?”

Spike sighed. “It wasn’t a lie. I just didn’t expect for you guys to be at this point already.”

Dawn figured it was her turn to explain. “We didn’t plan for this to happen so soon. I just invited him over to talk and I guess one thing lead to another, but that’s as far as it was going to go. And I didn’t think you would be home so soon,” she mumbled the last part.

“Fine, we’ll talk about this later. It will definitely take some getting used to. I think you should get out of here before my parents come home.”

Xander nodded and after giving Dawn one more kiss, hurried out of the room.

Spike turned back to his sister once he heard the front door close. “Just tell me that you’re still a virgin. I can’t think about my little sister having sex before me, that’s just not bloody right.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “I’m not that much younger than you, but you don’t have to worry. I’m so waiting for marriage, or at least until I’m in love. Whichever comes first,” she commented.

Spike didn’t get a chance to respond when he heard the front door open, knowing that his parents were home. “Okay, this never happened, agreed?”

She nodded. “Agreed, let’s go see what’s up with the rents. It’s a bit early for them to be home.”

Spike nodded as well and followed Dawn down the stairs.

Rupert Giles glanced up when his kids entered the kitchen, a bright smile on his features. “I have some joyous news to share,” he started.

Jenny smiled and gave her husband a pat on the back. “Your father is amazing,” was all she said.

Spike raised his eyebrows. “What’s going on?” he wondered.

Giles was about to reply, but Jenny beat him to it.

She couldn’t keep the excitement inside any longer. “Your father put away Luke Barton today. He should be rotting in jail for a good long time, it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving man.”

Dawn’s jaw dropped. “Whoa, he’s like a huge criminal. I can never turn on the news without hearing about something horrible that he’s done. Way to go, Dad.”

He grinned at the praise, giving his daughter a hug. “I say we celebrate.”

Spike tuned everything out after that. He was proud of his father for putting a man like that behind bars, but for once he would like to celebrate for something that wasn’t a case. Most days the job was all his father could talk about, nothing else seemed to matter. Dawn practically idolized him, as did everyone else in town. Spike wasn’t about to bring down their happiness at another one of his father’s accomplishments, so he forced a smile on his face and joined in the celebration.


* * * * *


Buffy headed downstairs for a snack after she completed her homework, stopping suddenly at the sight of Addie drinking her father’s Scotch in the living room. She tried to get back up the stairs before she was spotted by the obvious drunk woman, but there was no such luck.

“Well, if it isn’t the thorn in my side. Come to gloat, have you?”

Buffy ignored the comment. “Where’s my dad?”

Addie laughed humorlessly. “He’s at the office, said he would be home later. It’s just you and me, sweetie. So, what did you say to him? Did you bat your eyelashes until he caved? I worked hard on this plan to get you out of the way and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you ruin it now. Why do you think your father sent you to that clinic in the first place? It was because I suggested it. I told him that it would be a good thing for you, and he listened to me. He always does whatever I say, so it should only be a matter of time before I get him to agree with me again. You’re nothing but a disgrace, you know that? Hank would be better off without you. I don’t know how he didn’t off you the second you were born. Why anyone would want to have a daughter like you is beyond me.”

Buffy held her tears back, not about to cry in front of her a second time.

Addie moved closer. “You gonna get all weepy on me again? That’s all you’re good for, isn’t it? I found this in your room; it’s pretty damn laughable if you ask me.”

Buffy gasped when Addie revealed her sketchbook.

“You seem to draw a lot of Spike Giles in here. Does he know that you’re a complete stalker? This is just pathetic that you think a boy like that would want anything to do with you. His father is a very powerful man; he could get any girl that he wants. He wouldn’t want some freak with no talent,” she spat, ripping pages out of the book and throwing the remainder of it to the floor.

“Stop it! Who the hell do you think you are messing with my stuff?” Buffy shouted, shocking herself for finally saying something, but not about to hold back now.

“You have no right to talk back to me, you little bitch! Hasn’t your father taught you to respect your elders?”

Buffy saw red and for the first time in her life, she was ready to give the old hag a piece of her mind. “I could never respect someone like you. You’re a monster and my father will realize that. My mother was ten times the woman you are. You’re nothing compared to her and you never will be. You’re nothing but a selfish, cruel, old woman!” she finished in a rage.

Addie felt pure anger at the little brat for having a nerve to say such things to her. “You insolent child, I’ll make you pay for that,” she yelled, slapping Buffy hard across the face and grabbing her by the shoulders. “That will teach you to speak to me like that. Now I know why you tried to kill yourself. If I looked as hideous as you, I wouldn’t want to live either.” Addie was about to raise her hand again, too distracted to notice the front door opening, until a loud voice called out.

“Get away from my daughter!”

Chapter 19

Addie instantly pulled away to stare in shock at the appearance of her husband, not expecting him back so soon.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t what it looks like. She said some very cruel things to me; I just wanted to teach her to respect her elders.”

Buffy had tears in her eyes, silently begging her father to not believe the heinous woman.

Hank stepped further into the room, glaring daggers at his wife. “I know what I saw, Addie. I witnessed most of what you said to her. What gives you the right to treat my daughter like that? How long has this been going on under my roof?”

Addie took a moment to look ashamed, but it quickly turned to anger. “You think she’s so innocent, but she’s nothing but a brat. You see what she’s doing? She’s trying to tear us apart and you don’t even realize it.”

Hank ignored her and held his hand out to Buffy. “Come here, honey.”

She immediately moved to her father’s side, more tears falling from her eyes when he wrapped an arm around her.

“I’m so sorry that I never believed you,” he whispered.

Buffy nodded and remained silent, knowing that this was something he had to do.

Hank turned back to Addie, the love that he once felt for her now gone. “I can’t believe I let you fool me. Everything you said about me sending Buffy away for her own good was nothing but a lie, wasn’t it? I just wish it didn’t take me this long to figure out. I can’t believe I trusted you. This marriage is over, Addie. I don’t care where you go, but I want you out of this house. I want a divorce and then I don’t ever want to see you around my daughter again. I think you’ve caused enough trouble.”

Addie couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to kick her out. “You don’t know what you’re saying. That little bitch is trying to turn you against me!” she spat.

“You leave her out of this! We’re over, Addie. I gave up a good woman for you. I gave up everything, but it’s just not worth it anymore. I’ll be damned if I’m going to give up my daughter, too.”

She gave him a thunderous expression, then turned it on Buffy. Addie marched by them and headed to the front door, glaring at them one more time. “You will regret this, Hank. I’ll see to that,” she claimed and made her way out of the house, slamming the door behind her.

Buffy finally burst into tears once she was gone, clutching her father in the process.

He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry against his chest. “It’s okay now, sweetie. God, I’m so sorry for everything. I never realized just how bad she was. I should have listened to you. Can you ever forgive me?”

Buffy pulled away long enough to look at him. “I can try. You don’t know how hard it was to live with her, Daddy. She made me feel horrible. I wanted to kill myself again just to get away. If it wasn’t for Spike, I probably would have.”

Hank held her tighter, beyond relieved that she didn’t go through with it. “I will find a way to make this up to you. For all the pain that I caused you and Joyce, I’m so very sorry.”

Buffy could see how sincere he was and nodded, gracing him with a small smile. “It’s a start.”


* * * * *


“Spike, it’s okay.”

He shook his head, a look of pure hatred on his face. “Where is she now?”

Buffy shrugged. “I don’t know, probably staying at a hotel somewhere. I just hope we never have to see her again.”

Spike clenched his fists at his side. “If I ever see her anywhere near you again, I won’t be held responsible for what I do. I don’t care about the fact that it’s wrong to hit a woman. I’ll make an exception for her.”

She smiled. “I’ll let you. I would hardly call her a woman, anyway.”

Spike agreed and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. “I’m just glad that you’re okay. It looks like your dad really came through.”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, we actually had a conversation that lasted more than a minute. I never would have expected that.” She took a deep breath and gazed into his eyes. “There’s something you should know about my past. I haven’t been completely honest about what happened before I came here. I was too afraid to tell you, but I think I’m ready now.”

Spike grasped her hand. “You can tell me anything,” he said and lifted up her hand, placing a kiss on the knuckles. It was then that he took notice of something and slowly rolled her sleeve up a bit. The scars on her wrist took him by surprise as he stared at her. “Buffy?”

She pulled her hand away and knew that it was time, but laughter put her confession on hold.

“Well, isn’t this sweet? It’s just like Romeo and Juliet,” Megan stated.

Harmony took on a look of confusion. “Uh, didn’t they like totally kill themselves?”

Megan rolled her eyes. “Yes, Harm, what did we say about me doing the talking?”

Harmony nodded and remained silent after that.

Megan turned back to the couple, with a sinister grin on her face. “So, Buffy, why didn’t you tell us you spent time in a crazy house? That explains so much.”

Buffy’s eyes widened at what the blonde said, wondering how she could possibly know that.

Spike just looked puzzled. “What are you on about?”

“Oh, she didn’t tell you? Yeah, your precious girlfriend spent time in a mental institution. It’s in her school file, which I just happened to stumble across. I guess you really know how to pick them, Spike. First Drusilla and now this? I’m starting to really worry about your interest in whack jobs.”

Buffy threw her books down and stood up from where she was sitting with Spike by his locker. She officially had enough. “Okay, that does it. I like to think that I’ve dealt with enough of your crap to last me a lifetime. It amazes me that you would stoop so low as to read my file, but I don’t even care. You don’t know anything about me or my life. This obsession you seem to have with me is pretty pathetic. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you were jealous.”

Megan scoffed. “Jealous? Of you? That’s beyond ridiculous. You’re a total freak, there’s nothing you have that I could possibly be jealous over.”

Buffy smiled. “That would be a lie. Come on, we all know how much you want Spike. You’ve been after him for years. It must really eat you up inside that I’m with him instead. If that’s not jealousy, I don’t know what is.”

“You stupid bitch!” she spat and was about to attack Buffy, but crashed into a hard body instead. Megan was too distracted to notice when Spike suddenly stood up.

“This ends here, you annoying bint. I thought I made myself perfectly clear about staying away from her. If anything you found out in that file gets out to the rest of the school, I’ll be sure to let everyone know about a certain summer that you spent in fat camp.”

Her eyes bulged. “You wouldn’t.”

He grinned. “Now, I thought we already went over this. I would do it in a heartbeat, including explaining to the principal about stealing the file. You know how much he just loves to expel. This is the last time we’re going to have this conversation. If I ever see you bothering her again, there will be hell to pay. You got that?”

Megan backed away. “Crystal clear,” she responded, then grabbed Harmony’s arm and pulled her in the other direction.

Spike turned back to Buffy once they were gone. “I guess we have a lot to talk about.”

Chapter 20

“Is this what you were afraid to tell me?”

Buffy nodded. “I just didn’t know how you would react. My last boyfriend freaked out on me, and I lost all of my friends. I couldn’t take it if that happened again.”

Spike shook his head and pulled her down on his bed, deciding that the serious conversation would wait until after they got back to his house. “You can talk to me, Buffy. What happened?”

Buffy took a deep breath and knew that it was time. “It all started when my mom died. I was a completely different person before that, carefree, fun to be around, popular. I had tons of friends that pretty much idolized me. When she died, it was like a part of me died with her. I dreaded having to live with my father and his new wife. I didn’t really know Addie then, but I know that she never liked me. That was the first time I really ever saw my dad since the divorce. He never cared to visit us and I was okay with that. Everything just fell apart when I moved in with them. Addie was cruel since that first day. I just lost my mother and she did everything to make me feel even worse about it. I became distant from my friends after that. They never really understood me. I think most of the time they were only around me for the popularity. Once that was gone, they couldn’t care less about me.” She paused to wipe her eyes of the tears that she didn’t even realize was there.

Spike grasped her hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “You don’t have to go on if it’s too hard.”

“It’s okay, I need to say this. I’ve been keeping everything inside for too long now. It all started to get to be too much for me to deal with. I just wanted an escape from everything, from school, from the horrible way I was treated at home. I just wanted my mom back. So, I started to cut myself. I…I wanted to feel something. I just wanted the numbness to go away. Addie found out about it and treated me like a freak, like I had a problem. She told my father and acted like it was in my best interest, pretending that she cared in front of him. It was a couple of days later when he took me to the clinic. God, I hated him so much for leaving me at that place. I spent two months there and when I was released, everyone at school pretty much knew about what happened. They treated me like I was nothing, none of my old friends ever really talked to me again. They just pretended like I didn’t exist, and my boyfriend was already with someone else. Someone that I thought was a friend, but it turned out that he was sneaking around with her behind my back. I had to deal with weeks of mocking and ridicule from all of the classmates that used to idolize me. Then my dad got a job offer here and we relocated. I was so happy to leave LA and possibly start over somewhere else, but I had no idea that things would end up being the same here. I was treated like I didn’t belong on my first day at Sunnydale High; they didn’t even need to know the truth about me. Seeing you every day was the only thing that made everything worth it.”

Spike felt touched and couldn’t believe what she had to go through. “I’m glad I could make some of it easier for you, but it just makes me regret the fact that I didn’t talk to you sooner.”

Buffy glanced down at his bedspread, taking another deep breath before looking back up at him. “All I have to say is that it’s a good thing you talked to me when you did. I was planning on killing myself that same day. I just wanted it all to be over, but then you came over to me. And ending my life was the last thing I wanted to do.” She reached out to caress his cheek. “Thank you for saving me.”

Spike felt his eyes tear up, relief like he never felt before go through him. He didn’t know what he would have done if she actually went through with it. With that thought in mind, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his chest. “I love you,” he whispered.

Buffy gasped in shock, pulling away to stare at him. “You do?”

He smiled and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I know that it may seem really soon, but it’s not. I think I loved you from the first moment I saw you. It just took me this long to realize it. I suppose it’s my time to share. I’ve only ever had one girlfriend; it was before you came here. Her name was Drusilla and I thought I loved her, but the feelings I have for you don’t even compare. She wasn’t in her right mind, always claimed to have visions. She made up some rot about the sunshine burning me alive. I never really understood it, but I cared for her. I was probably the only one to find her antics charming, while everyone else wondered what I saw in her. To make a long story short, it was never me that she wanted. She only wanted someone that would take care of her. I was blinded by what I thought was love for her that I didn’t even realize she was only with me for my money. When I finally stood up to Dru and told her that I wouldn’t give her anymore, she ended things with me. I found out later on that her parents shipped her away to a special school that could handle someone like her. That was the last I saw of her.”

Buffy felt for him now. “Relationships suck, huh?”

He nodded. “They do at that, but I think we’re finally starting to get things right.”

She agreed. “There’s something I’ve been wondering about. How come you seem to know a lot about Megan? You never dated her, right?”

Spike couldn’t help the laughter that burst out of him. “God, no, I could never be that desperate. The truth is that I’ve known her since we were in the third grade. She was always a little terror, even then. She would constantly chase me around, it was bloody annoying. I hoped that things would change as she got older, but there was no such luck. I just pray that she’s going to a different college. I’ve already been accepted to UC Sunnydale.”

Buffy smiled. “That’s really great, Spike. I was planning to go there, too.”

He returned her smile. “Were you now? Well, imagine my luck.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Wait a second, did you plan that? How did you even know what school I would be going to?”

Spike winked. “I have spies everywhere, Summers.”

Buffy laughed and slapped him on the arm. “You’re such a stalker,” she said teasingly.

He held his hands up. “Guilty, do with me what you will.”

Buffy suddenly took on a serious expression, knowing exactly what she wanted to do. “Make love to me, Spike.”

Chapter 21

“You want me to what?”

Buffy giggled at the look of shock on his face. “I want you to make love to me, Spike. I think I’m ready. I know that I am. I couldn’t imagine my first time being with anyone else.”

Spike was still taken by surprise, but couldn’t deny her anything. “Are you sure about this, love? There would be no going back.”

She nodded. “I’m very sure; I know you would make it really special. Will Dawn be here soon?”

He shook his head. “She’s staying at a friend’s house tonight, and my parents will once again be gone all weekend. They went to LA for some business thing, as usual.”

Buffy smiled. “So, we would have the place to ourselves then?”

Spike smiled as well. “It looks like.”

Buffy then jumped off of his bed. “I’ll be right back,” she said, making her way out of the room.

Spike sat there in confusion, until she returned a couple of minutes later.

“Okay, I just called my dad. I told him that Dawn invited me over for a sleepover, so he’s not expecting me home until tomorrow.”

Spike gulped, it was obvious that she was very serious about this. He didn’t understand why he felt so nervous.

Buffy waved her hand in front of his face. “Spike, are you okay? Do you not want to do this?” she said, a hint of fear in her voice.

Spike gave her a reassuring smile. “I definitely want to do this, pet. I guess I’m just surprised that you don’t think it’s too soon.”

She moved closer to press her lips to his in a soft kiss. “I love you, Spike. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the right thing to do. I know we’re both young and a lot of people probably don’t think we know what love is, but I know exactly what I’m feeling. We would get to be each other’s first, that means so much to me. It’s still hard to believe that I’m not dreaming, that you won’t suddenly realize I’m not the one you want.”

Spike cupped her cheek. “You never have to worry about that. I love you, Buffy. You’re it for me; I could never want anyone else.”

Buffy took in a deep breath. “Do you have any protection? I didn’t really think about that.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I have some condoms in my drawer.”

She raised her eyebrows. “How long have you had them?”

“Only since we got together, but I wasn’t planning for this to happen now. I just had them for whenever you would be ready; I don’t want you to think that I was expecting this.”

Buffy laughed. “It’s okay, Spike. I wasn’t accusing you of anything.”

He sighed in relief. “So, how do we do this? I only know what I’ve seen in movies. We would be learning everything together.”

“I really like that, but I’m pretty clueless about this stuff. I’ve only ever gotten to the making out stage of a relationship.”

Spike agreed. “Same here, I suddenly feel like a right ponce.”

Buffy shook her head. “You’re not; it means so much that you’ve never done this before. I…I guess the best place to start would be here,” she said and slowly removed her shirt, revealing her bra to him.

Spike took in a breath as she removed the rest of her clothing, so she was in nothing but her underwear.

“I know it’s not much,” she told him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he responded, pulling her closer to his side. Spike planted a firm kiss on her mouth. He kissed every inch of her face that he could, trailing his lips down her smooth neck. He then lowered her bra strap and kissed her shoulder. “May I?” he asked.

Buffy nodded, knowing exactly what he had in mind.

Spike unhooked her bra and slid it off of her body, staring in amazement at her beauty. “God, I can’t believe you’re really here. It feels like I’m the one that’s dreaming now.” He tenderly pushed her to lie down, slipping one finger into her panties and sliding them off her legs. Spike threw it on the floor with the rest of her clothes and just gazed upon her body, still finding it hard to believe that she was really in his bed. He lowered his head to her breasts and took one nipple into his mouth, gently sucking on it.

She gasped at the wonderful sensation, running her fingers through his hair.

Spike felt pleased by her reaction and gave the same treatment to her other nipple. He pulled away to stare up at the pleasure on her face. “Is that okay?” he wondered quietly.

Buffy nodded eagerly. “It’s better than okay, but you’re a bit too overdressed,” she said with a pout.

Spike smiled down at her, moving away to take care of that clothes problem. He didn’t take as much care like he did with her, instead removing his clothing very quickly and throwing them to the floor. “I don’t think I’ve ever moved so fast in my life.”

Buffy was too busy staring at the sight of him to pay attention to what he said. How was it possible for one man to be so gorgeous?

Spike moved down her body. “I have to get you ready, baby. It hurts a bit the first time and I want to make this as painless for you as possible.”

She nodded again and was willing to let him do anything at this point.

Spike spread her thighs wider and inhaled her sweet scent, slowly sliding one finger into her pussy. He was surprised to feel that she was already drenched for him.

Buffy shut her eyes, never feeling anything so good in her life. Her eyes flew open when he entered another finger inside of her, clutching the edge of the bed.

Her moans were really turning Spike on. He pumped his fingers into her wet core, pulling them out after a moment and licking them clean of her juices. He closed his eyes in pure bliss, never tasting a woman there before, but loving every second of it. Spike needed more of her taste and lowered his head to her crotch, shoving his tongue inside.

Buffy gasped in surprise, holding his head down. “God, Spike. Don’t stop,” she panted.

Spike smiled against her pussy, he had no intention of stopping. He continued to eat her out, until she finally came in his mouth. Spike licked up her slit one more time, then pulled away to look up at her.

Buffy came down from her first ever orgasm and gazed in wonder at her boyfriend. “That was amazing,” she panted.

Spike smiled in satisfaction. “Not bad for my first time. Are you ready now? We don’t have to go all of the way just yet, there’s no hurry.”

“I want this, Spike. I won’t have any regrets.”

Spike felt relieved and went over to his desk drawer, taking out one of the condoms and moving back to the bed. He ripped the packet open and slid the rubber over his cock, praying that he wouldn’t screw this up. Spike lowered his body on top of hers, lightly brushing the hair out of her face. “I love you so much,” he whispered.

She felt tears prick her eyes, but held them back. “I love you, too.”

Spike positioned his cock over her opening and slowly pushed into her. He stopped once he reached her barrier and gazed into her eyes. “Let me know if it’s too much, okay?”

She nodded and took in a deep breath.

Spike did the same, then buried himself fully inside of her.

Buffy cried out in pain, clutching his shoulders.

Spike felt his heart ache at the sight of the tears falling down her face. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. It should feel better soon. Do you want to stop?”

She shook her head. “No, don’t stop. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore, just go slow.”

He nodded and moved slowly inside of her, knowing that he would never be able to get enough. “Fuck, Buffy, you feel so bloody good.”

“You can go faster now. I can take it.”

He was happy to oblige and pounded her harder into the mattress, resting his forehead against hers.

Buffy could feel that she was close and yelled out her release once her orgasm hit.

Spike right behind her.

She ran her fingers down his back, trying to get her breathing under control.

Spike rolled off of her a moment later, so she wouldn’t be crushed. He deposited the condom into the nearby garbage can and threw the blanket over them, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to his side. “I love you.”

Buffy snuggled up to him, feeling herself drift off. “I love you, too.”

Spike pressed a kiss to the top of her head and noticed that she was already asleep. He watched her for a little while longer, then followed her in slumber.

Chapter 22

Spike trailed his fingers down Buffy’s bare arm. He had been up for about an hour just watching her sleep.

Buffy was brought out of slumber and stared into his eyes, giving him a smile. “Hey, how long have you been awake?”

“I lost track of time. It’s not every day I have a beautiful woman in my bed.”

She blushed. “Hopefully I would be the only one.”

Spike pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “There could never be anyone else. How do you feel, baby? Are you sore?”

“A little, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” she told him.

He nodded. “Are you hungry? I could go fix us something.”

Buffy’s stomach growled at the mention of food, burying her face against his shoulder in embarrassment.

Spike grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes. Wait here, I’ll be right back.” He jumped out of bed and put his jeans on, not really caring about a shirt. He gave her a quick peck on the lips, then made his way out of the room and down the stairs. Spike couldn’t remember ever being so happy in his life as he entered the kitchen, humming a song that was stuck in his head. He got out some milk and eggs to make Buffy an omelet. It was the only thing he could really do. He was too lost in his thoughts to notice the back door open, until he heard the familiar voice.

“Gross, do you always walk around half naked when no one’s home?”

Spike was startled out of his thoughts and turned around to see Dawn standing there. “What are you doing back so soon?”

She raised her eyebrows. “It’s almost one; don’t tell me you’re just now getting up.”

Spike ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, what of it? Do you have other plans that hopefully don’t involve you staying here? I kinda got used to having the place to myself.”

“You’re acting weird. Did something happen?” she wondered.

He was about to respond, but never got the chance at the arrival of Buffy.

“Dawn, hey, I didn’t know you were here.”

Her eyes widened at the sight of the blonde, wearing nothing but one of her brother’s shirts. It all became perfectly clear. “Oh my god, um, I’m not here. I was just leaving. Yeah, I’ll see you guys later,” she claimed, rushing back out of the house.

Spike focused on Buffy after the departure of his sister, wanting to take her back upstairs and ravish her. The sight of her in his shirt completely turning him on. “Sorry about that, pet. I didn’t realize it was so late.”

She smiled. “It’s okay; I probably should have stayed upstairs. Would you mind if I took a shower? I’m feeling all sticky, we didn’t exactly clean up last night.”

“That’s fine; breakfast should be ready when you’re finished. Well, I guess it would be lunch.”

Buffy nodded and went to give him what was supposed to be a quick kiss on the lips, but he had other plans.

Spike wrapped his arms around her and turned the kiss more passionate, pulling away after a moment. “I could really get used to this.”

Buffy agreed and gave him one more kiss, then headed back up the stairs.

Spike watched her go, a big smile forming on his face. She was definitely the one.


* * * * *


Buffy was in her room drawing in the new sketchbook that her father got for her. A knock sounded at her door and she closed up the book just as Hank walked in.

“Well, I have the divorce papers,” he said, holding them up for her to see.

“How are you going to get her to sign them? I doubt she would do it willingly.”

Hank shrugged. “I’ll figure something out. I know she’s staying at the Sunnydale Inn. I was thinking about paying her a visit after work tomorrow.”

Buffy nodded. “I hope it works out, Daddy.”

He nodded as well. “So do I, this has been long overdue. I should have known what I was getting myself into. I can’t say enough how sorry I am for everything that I put you through, Buffy. I should have listened to you from the beginning.”

“It’s okay; she had everyone fooled. It was only me that she showed her true colors to. I guess she figured that you would never believe me.”

That only made Hank feel even guiltier for his actions. “I’ll do whatever I can to make up for that, things are going to be different now. From now on, it’s just you and me.”

“I don’t want that, Dad. Yeah, it would be nice to finally get to spend time with you, but I don’t want you to be alone. I know you’ll find someone, someone that will be good for both of us. You just haven’t met her yet.”

He looked away from her gaze, taking a deep breath before turning back to her. “Yes, I did. Your mother was the perfect woman. It kills me knowing that I hurt her the way I did, and for someone like Addie. I’ll never be able to make it up to her.”

“If it helps, I think Mom would have forgiven you. That’s just the kind of person she was. I know she’s looking down on us now and smiling. We all make mistakes, Dad. Sometimes our choices are really bad, but what matters is that we learn from those mistakes. In the end, they only make us a better person.”

Hank felt tears form in his eyes. His daughter was so grown up and he couldn’t be more proud of the woman that she was becoming. “I got something for you, it’s in the closet.”

Buffy didn’t know what that could be and went to check it out. She was stunned when she saw the elegant, red dress that was hanging in there.

“I know you have that homecoming dance next week. The dress can always be returned if it’s not what you had in mind. I just wanted to get you something.”

Buffy shook her head. “It’s perfect, thank you.” She walked over to her father, giving him a hug.

He was taken by surprise at first, then returned the embrace. “You’re welcome.” Hank wasn’t done making it up to Buffy, but he figured that was a start.


* * * * *


“Hey, you Spike Giles?”

Spike turned around at the unfamiliar voice. He was on his way to pick Buffy up. “Yeah, who wants to know?”

“The name’s Adam Barton, I’m sure you’re familiar with my old man. Your pops put him away.”

Spike shrugged. “What? You want to thank me or something?”

Adam scoffed. “I wouldn’t say that. My dad was all I had, and now he’s behind bars. I figured that I wouldn’t be able to get near your dad, but I can make you pay.”

He rolled his eyes. “Right, that’s a load of maturity. I have nothing to do with who my dad puts in jail, all right? If you ask me, your wanker of a father had it coming. This town would be a much safer place without him around.”

Adam clenched his fists at his side. “Tell me, Giles. Do you feel safe right now?”

Spike’s eyes widened when he noticed three other guys join Adam. They seemed to come out of nowhere.

Adam only grinned. “Let the games begin.”

Chapter 23

Buffy wondered what was taking Spike so long. He would usually be at her house on time when he planned to pick her up, but he was already about a half hour late. She wondered if something was wrong. The phone rang suddenly, but she was too distracted to notice.

Hank came into the living room after he answered it. “That was Dawn. She says that Spike is sick and won’t be able to make it.”

That brought Buffy out of her daze. “Why didn’t he call me himself?”

Hank shrugged. “I’m not really sure; maybe he was losing his voice.”

Buffy nodded and went back to staring out the window. Something didn’t feel right.


* * * * *


“This is unacceptable, and you say you did nothing to provoke Barton?”

Spike shook his head. “If you think calling his father a wanker was provocative.”

Giles took his glasses off to clean them.

Jenny continued to rub some ointment on Spike’s bruised face. “I think the swelling has gone down a bit. You should know better than to get into a fight, William. All you had to do was walk away.”

He scoffed. “And be an even bigger pansy? That’s not my style, Mum. They started it, I wasn’t about to back down.”

“You could have gotten hurt worse, or even killed. Something needs to be done about those hooligans.”

Giles agreed. “I’ll make some calls, see what I can do.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Just leave it alone, Dad. You’ll only make things worse. The only reason he attacked me in the first place was because you put his father away. He couldn’t get to you, so he took it out on me.”

“Well, I’m not going to apologize for putting a criminal like that behind bars. It was the right thing to do.”

Spike stood up, gently pushing his mother’s hands away. “Yeah, it was the right thing to do. It’s always the right thing to do. You’re the one that locks up the bad guys, but we’re the ones that end up paying for it. I’ll be in my room,” he said, then left the kitchen and headed for the stairs.

Giles looked at his wife. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I wasn’t even aware that Barton had a son, and I certainly didn’t think he would come after mine.”

Jenny rubbed her husband’s shoulders. “I know that, honey. William is just upset right now, he knows that you did the right thing. That man is too dangerous to be out on the streets.”

Giles nodded and hoped that this would be the last they would hear of Barton’s son.


* * * * *


“Wow, you look horrible.”

Spike scowled at his sister. “You can feel free to sod off now.”

She ignored him and walked into his room. “I called Buffy, but her dad answered. I just told him that you were sick. I’m sure she’ll wonder why you didn’t call yourself. You could have still gone over there.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t want Buffy to see me like this.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “She’s bound to see you like this at school, anyway. Mom and Dad aren’t going to let you stay home until your face clears.”

“I’ll deal with that when it happens, but I don’t want to worry her right now.”

Dawn sat down on his bed. “How many guys were there?” she wondered.

Spike tried to think back to what happened. “There was four, including Barton. I was outnumbered, but you should see the other blokes,” he said with a grin.

Dawn wasn’t convinced. “Please, you’re not a fighter, Spike. They probably got a few punches in before you ran off.”

He pouted now. “Why can’t you just let me have my moment?”

She shrugged and stood up. “Because I’m your sister, that just isn’t in my nature.”

Spike threw a pillow at her, just as she left the room. He lay down with a sigh, dreading what would happen once he went back to school.


* * * * *


Buffy gasped when she saw Spike the next day.

“Does it really look that bad?”

She moved closer to him, lightly running her fingers over a bruise. “What happened?”

Spike took in a deep breath and explained to her the real reason of why he didn’t show up at her house.

Buffy shook her head once he was finished. “I can’t believe those jerks did this to you. Why didn’t you tell me, Spike? I could have handled it.”

He shrugged. “I just didn’t want you to think I was a wuss.”

“I could never think that. I’m just glad you’re okay,” she said, gently pressing a kiss to his lips. She pulled away and decided that a subject change was in order. “My dad got me a dress for the dance, it’s really pretty. I’m surprised by how hard he’s been trying lately, but we don’t have to go if you don’t think you’ll be up to it.”

Spike waved his hand in the air. “This is nothing; it’ll probably be mostly healed by the time of the dance. I know how much it means to you, so we’re going. You can’t back out of it now.”

She smiled and gave him another kiss. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”


* * * * *


Dawn jumped on Xander once she saw him waiting for her outside of class, attacking his mouth with hers.

He was taken by surprise, but definitely not disappointed. “What was that for?” he asked when she pulled away.

“I totally just aced my test. Besides, you’re my boyfriend. I didn’t think I needed a reason to kiss you.”

Xander shook his head. “You definitely don’t need a reason. In fact, you can feel free to do that anytime you want. I'm not about to stop you."

Dawn took his hand in hers, pulling him away from any nosy students. “Come on, I think the janitor’s closet is free.”

Xander nodded eagerly and let her lead him away.


* * * * *


Hank had no luck trying to get Addie to sign the papers. He couldn’t find her at the hotel and had a feeling that she was avoiding him, but he wasn’t about to give up. He knew that she hadn’t left town, not with the threat that she made. Marrying Addie was the biggest mistake of his life; he just wished that it didn’t take him so long to figure that out. He suspected her of inappropriate behavior for a while now; she seemed to be a bit too eager to send Buffy to Switzerland. Hank just tried to convince himself that it was all in his head because he loved her, but it wasn’t real. The second he saw Addie put her hands on Buffy, it was over. The things she said and did to his daughter could not be forgiven. It only made him feel remorse for all that he put her through. Things were going to change, and it would start with getting Addie to sign the divorce papers. She couldn’t avoid him forever.

Chapter 24

Buffy looked herself over in the mirror one last time. The dress her father picked out fit her perfectly. She felt beautiful for the first time in her life and couldn’t wait for Spike’s reaction. The doorbell suddenly rang and she knew it was Spike. Taking a deep breath, she left her room to meet him downstairs. Buffy noticed Spike talking with Hank; she couldn’t believe how amazing he looked in a tux. The bruises on his face were hardly noticeable anymore.

Spike glanced up just as Buffy headed down the stairs. He felt his breath catch in his throat at the sight of her, never before seeing anything so stunning.

Hank smiled at his daughter. “You look beautiful, honey. It means a lot that I get to be a part of this. I’ve missed so much.”

She smiled in return. “At least you’re here now, that’s all I care about.”

Hank gave her a quick hug, then left them to their privacy.

Spike moved closer to her. “You look gorgeous, pet.”

Buffy flashed him an even bigger smile. “Thanks, you look pretty good yourself.”

Spike took her hand and led her outside to his car. He had a feeling that it would be a night he would never forget.


* * * * *


They arrived at Sunnydale High about ten minutes later.

Spike got out first, then moved to Buffy’s side to open the door for her. He took her hand again once she stepped out of the car and walked up to the school together.

The gym was packed with students, colorful decorations everywhere.

They immediately found Xander and Dawn chatting at a table, heading over to join them.

Spike pulled out Buffy’s chair for her.

Buffy gave him a smile and sat down, loving how much of a gentleman he was being. She could definitely get used to this.


* * * * *


Megan was starting to lose what little patience she had left. She had been waiting outside her house for over a half an hour for her date to pick her up. She knew asking some slacker college guy would probably be a bad move, but didn’t have much of a choice. She wasn’t about to go to her homecoming dance alone. She really wanted to go with Spike, but that wouldn’t happen as long as he was with that freak. Megan didn’t understand what Spike could possibly see in her, but decided that she wasn’t going to think about them anymore. They could have each other for all she cared. Megan went to some frat party at UC Sunnydale about a week ago, and that was where she met him. He seemed really nice and charming, both of them having a bit too much to drink at the time. One thing lead to another and she ended up going back to his room. Megan wasn’t one for sleeping with guys that she barely knew, but she had been feeling a little down lately. She was a bit drunk when she asked him to the dance, shock that he actually agreed. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t even know his last name. Megan was broken out of her thoughts when he finally drove up. She didn’t bother to wait for him to get out and open the car door for her, not that he would.

“God, what took you so long?” she said, sliding into the seat and slamming the door. “I’m going to be late now.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s just a lame school dance, you’re lucky I showed up at all.”

Megan moved closer to him and gasped. “Have you been drinking? You had the nerve to show up drunk? I think I should drive.”

He waved his hand in the air. “I’m not too drunk that I don’t know what I’m doing. You worry too much, babe. Let’s get this show on the road,” he claimed, then pulled the car out of her driveway.

“You better be right about that, Adam. I would like to make it to the dance in one piece.”


* * * * *


“Can I have everyone’s attention? It’s time to announce the Homecoming King and Queen.”

Xander patted Spike on the back. “That’s bound to be you, man.”

He rolled his eyes. “You know I don’t care about that, Harris. It’s just a bloody popularity contest.”

“This year’s King and Queen are, William Giles and Harmony Kendall.”

Everyone applauded for the results, everyone besides Buffy and Spike.

“Bloody hell, what did I do to deserve this?”

Buffy tried to force a smile on her face, but just knowing that Spike would have to dance with another woman was making her feel uneasy.

Spike groaned and got up to get his crown, rolling his eyes again at the sight of the bright smile on Harmony’s face once she received hers.

“Now it’s time for our King and Queen to have their dance, give them some room.”

The floor cleared, so it was just Spike and Harmony out there.

Harmony didn’t waste anytime to wrap her arms around him. “I told you we would win, Spikey. It’s just a shame that Megan’s not here yet. She never thought I would win. I wonder what’s taking her so long.”

Spike was trying to tune her out, not caring to think about Megan’s whereabouts at the moment. He just looked out to where Buffy was sitting, a frown on her beautiful face. The dance couldn’t end fast enough.


* * * * *


Buffy tried to focus on something else, but all she could see was Spike with his arms around another woman. She knew it didn’t mean anything, but still couldn’t help feeling insecure. She let out a relieved sigh once the music changed and other couples were allowed to join them on the floor, but frowned when she saw that Spike still had his arms around Harmony. What happened next was enough to make her heart ache. Spike was kissing her.


* * * * *


He grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her away.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Harmony smiled. “Duh, I was kissing you. I know you feel something for me, Blondie Bear. Betty is just temporary insanity, until you realize I’m the one you really want.”

Spike could feel a migraine coming on. “Get this through your blonde head; I will never want anything to do with you. Buffy is the one I love and I would never choose some halfwit over her. You and Megan are really pathetic, you know that? I suggest you find a bloke that is desperate enough for the likes of you. I have a girl to get back to,” he stated, then walked away to search for Buffy.


* * * * *


“There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Spike commented once he finally found Buffy by the restrooms.

She suddenly felt a chill and wrapped her arms around herself. “I didn’t think you would notice. I saw you kissing Harmony, you guys seemed pretty cozy.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “You can’t seriously tell me you thought that meant anything? The bint kissed me out of nowhere; I stopped her right when it happened.”

Buffy shrugged. “I don’t know what to think.”

Spike was starting to feel angered. “Well, let me clarify it for you. I love you, Buffy. I think I’ve proved that to you a few million times by now. You know you can trust me, I’m not about to throw away what we have for some ditz like that. If there’s one thing I don’t do, it’s cheat on my girlfriend. I’ve had it done to me before and would never wish that on anyone. I really thought you knew me better than that, but maybe I was wrong,” with that said, he made his way out of the gym.

Buffy couldn’t believe that she ever doubted him. She knew Spike would never do anything to hurt her. It was just her years of dealing with disappointment that tended to cloud her judgment. It was time to finally put the past behind her. With that thought in mind, she took off after Spike.


* * * * *


“I can’t believe you had to stop for more beer and cigarettes. I probably missed the King and Queen announcement by now.”

Adam ignored Megan’s insistent prattling. The only reason he agreed to take her to the stupid dance in the first place was because he was extremely drunk at the time, and he knew Spike Giles went to the high school. The bleached idiot got away from him and his friends before they were finished. This time, he wouldn’t let him get away.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Adam groaned in annoyance and finally reached Sunnydale High, but something made him stop. He grinned at the sight of Spike Giles leaving the school. It looked to be his lucky day; the little jerk wouldn’t even see it coming. Adam started to speed up, not paying attention to Megan’s yells in the background. Nothing could stop him now.


* * * * *


“Spike, wait up! We need to talk about this.”

He turned around to glare at her. “I think we’ve talked enough. You said you trusted me, that you felt safe with me. Was that all a lie?”

Buffy shook her head. “Of course it wasn’t, I do trust you. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have assumed the worst. Let’s just go back inside.”

Spike let out a sigh. “You go back inside, Buffy. I need to be alone right now.”

Buffy sighed as well when he walked away from her again. She was about to head back into the school to give him the space he wanted, but the screeching of tires stopped her. She glanced up to see a car heading right for Spike. It didn’t look like he noticed and Buffy had to think quickly. It was too late to yell for him, so she ran with all the speed that she possessed. Buffy reached his side and without giving much thought to her actions, pushed him out of the way before he could even realize what was happening, only to have the car crash into her instead. She smashed into the windshield and fell to the ground, the car then swerved out of control and right into a nearby pole.

Chapter 25

Spike was in a state of shock. He still couldn’t believe what just happened as he gazed at Buffy’s lifeless body. The voices and screams of their classmates snapped him out of it.

“Buffy!” he yelled, running to her side and kneeling down. She had a wound on her forehead that was leaking blood. He gently moved her, resting her head in his lap. “Buffy, can you hear me? You have to wake up now, baby. Please, wake up.”

“Oh god, what happened?”

Spike glanced up to see a worried Xander standing over him, along with Dawn. “She was hit by a car. Call an ambulance.”

Xander nodded and quickly pulled out his cell phone to make the call.

Spike couldn’t hear anything after that, his focus remained on Buffy.

“They should be here in a few minutes,” Xander commented.

Spike finally looked around to notice a lot of the students coming out of the school to see what the commotion was all about, some of the teachers were trying to usher them back inside. He then felt pure anger when his eyes landed on the car that was responsible for what happened to Buffy. He turned to his sister. “Stay with her,” he said, not bothering to wait for a response as he got up and walked over to the wrecked vehicle, not surprised to see that it belonged to Adam Barton. His head was smashed against the steering wheel and Spike instantly knew that he was dead.

Xander placed a comforting hand on his friend’s arm, knowing that if the other man wasn’t already dead, Spike might make sure that he was.

It was then that Spike noticed Barton wasn’t in the car alone. He saw the unconscious body of Megan Walsh in the passenger seat, her being lucky enough to wear a seatbelt. “See if she’s okay,” he said, not even recognizing the sound of his own voice.

Xander ran to the other side of the car to feel for a pulse, then looked back up at him. “She’s still alive.”

The sirens in the distance put anything else that he would have said on hold. All that mattered right now was getting Buffy to the hospital. He just prayed they wouldn’t be too late.


* * * * *


The waiting was starting to drive Spike crazy. Buffy was taken in over an hour ago and they had yet to find out if she was going to be okay. He was joined in the waiting room by Hank, Xander, and Dawn. His parents were away on one of their business trips, but he spoke with them and they agreed to come home earlier than planned. Spike was broken out of his reverie at the arrival of the doctor; he quickly stood and headed over to him.

“Is she okay?”

The doctor took a deep breath. “We did all that we could for her. Ms. Summers has suffered from severe head trauma, and two broken ribs. She’s stable right now, but has slipped into a coma. It’s too soon to tell when she would awaken, if she does at all. I’m very sorry. It’s up to her right now.”

He was still talking, but Spike tuned the rest out. All he could focus on was the fact that his girlfriend was in a coma and might never wake up. He wanted to scream about how unfair all of it was. She didn’t deserve any of this. It pained him even more knowing that it was all his fault. She wouldn’t be in the hospital if it wasn’t for him. God, he should have never walked out of the school. He should have just listened to her when she wanted to go back inside. If she didn’t pull out of this, Spike would never forgive himself.


* * * * *


She looked so small and pale lying there. Spike moved closer to her bed and took a seat. Visiting hours were almost over, but they all agreed that he should be the first one to see her. He took her hand in his and brought it to his mouth, placing a kiss against her bruised knuckles.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It should have been me. I was a bloody idiot, I never should have left. You have to wake up, Buffy. I don’t care if you hate me forever, as long as you’re awake. That’s all I care about. Just open those pretty eyes for me.” A few more seconds and there was no change. “Please, bring her back. I’m nothing without her,” he said to no one in particular. A hand on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts a moment later. Spike looked up at the concerned face of his father, but something inside of him snapped. He instantly got up and made his way out of the room, Giles right behind him.

“Son, it will be all right.”

Spike shook his head, glaring at his father. He didn’t care that he was about to make a scene. “How will it be all right? The love of my life is near death right now because Barton’s sadistic son decided to run me over with a car. Buffy’s here now because she pushed me out of the way. It should have been me. Your actions always have consequences, Dad. It’s your bloody fault this happened in the first place. You can’t expect to put a dangerous man like that away and not deal with the consequences. You didn’t even think about the fact that he had any family out there. He tried to kill me and now Buffy is suffering for it. I told you, we’re always the ones that end up paying. You think you’re doing the right thing, but what about those that end up getting hurt because of it?”

Giles was stunned into silence.

Jenny tried to calm her son down. “Honey, it was no one’s fault. The only person to blame here is already dead, there’s nothing more you can do.”

Spike moved away from her, not wanting any comfort. “No, I’m to blame. I’m always to blame,” he said softly.

Giles took a risk by stepping closer to him. “I’m terribly sorry, William. I never meant for anyone to get hurt. None of this should have happened, but you can’t blame yourself. Buffy is a strong girl, from what you’ve told me she has had quite a lot to deal with in her life. I have faith that she will pull out of this. She wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up about it. I know in my heart how much that girl loves you. I don’t believe she would have risked her life for someone that she didn’t love. This is not your fault, and it’s not my fault. This is the fault of a young man that had a bit too much to drink and decided to get behind the wheel of a car. I talked with the police; Barton’s blood alcohol level was extremely high. If the crash didn’t kill him, that surely would have. All he wanted was vengeance, it didn’t matter who got in the way. He’s gone now, son. He won’t ever come near you again. It’s time to move on and be there for Buffy. She needs you right now, and I promise that she will not blame you for what happened. It was not your fault,” he finished, hoping to get through to his son.

Spike didn’t even realize that he was crying, until he felt the wetness on his cheeks. He fell to the floor and buried his face in his hands, the sobs taking over his body. Spike felt a pair of arms hold him from behind, but he couldn’t tell who they belonged to. It didn’t matter; nothing mattered until Buffy woke up.

Chapter 26

“We actually bonded for the first time in years. I never realized I had so much anger inside of me about what my dad did, but I like to think that things are getting better with us,” Spike explained, giving Buffy’s hand a squeeze. Two weeks went by and there was still no change. He remained by her bedside, wanting to be the first person she saw once she woke up. And Spike knew that she would, his girl was a fighter.

“So, how’s our patient doing today?”

Spike looked up at the voice to see Buffy’s nurse, Willow Rosenberg. “Everything’s the same,” he responded.

Willow gave him a kind smile. “Well, you should keep talking to her. It helps with coma patients. Aren’t you hungry? I’m sure you can step away for a few minutes to get something to eat.”

Spike shook his head. “I had something earlier, I’ll be fine. I don’t want to leave her.” He knew that he had responsibilities, but none of it seemed to matter. His father made it so he could have time off of school, Dawn bringing him all the schoolwork that he missed. It gave him something to do, at least.

Willow nodded and left the room, her heart going out to the young man. Everyone knew of him in the hospital by now, he would hardly ever leave his girlfriend’s side. She wished more men could be like that. The love he had for her patient made her heart swell. Willow secretly prayed every night that Buffy would pull through.


* * * * *


Spike heard a knock on the door, expecting to see Willow again, but was shocked to see Megan instead. The cheerleader was the last person he expected to show up there. Her injuries weren’t as severe and she was released from the hospital about a week ago.

“What are you doing here?”

She looked shy for a moment and stepped further into the room. “I just wanted to talk to you, and see how Buffy was doing.”

Spike was stunned by her answer, but didn’t make a big deal of it. “She’s doing the same, as you can see. What do you care, anyway? Shouldn’t you be mourning the loss of your boyfriend?” he replied harshly.

Megan flinched a little at his tone, but knowing she deserved it. “He wasn’t my boyfriend. I’m sorry for what happened. I know that doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I never meant for anyone to get hurt. I met Adam at some frat party and I just had too much to drink, I didn’t realize he was so crazy. I definitely never expected him to go after you. And I know you’ll find it hard to believe because of the way I’ve been treating Buffy, but I never wanted this to happen to her.”

Spike let out a sigh. “You made a stupid choice coming to the dance with that wanker, but I don’t blame you for what happened to her. I blame him; you were just at the wrong place and wrong time.”

Megan figured that was more than she would ever get from him, but he wasn’t finished.

“I know why you act the way you do. I’ve met your mum, remember? I know how she treats you, but that doesn’t mean you have to be just like her. You don’t have to hurt others just because she hurts you.”

Megan took in a deep breath. “I guess I don’t know how else to be. She’s made me feel horrible for years, I sometimes don’t know how else to act. That’s how I was raised.”

Spike shook his head. “You have more in common with Buffy than you think, but at least she doesn’t look down on those that are different. Her step-mum treated her like she was nothing, but it only made her stronger in the end. It’s your life; you’re the only one that can choose how it goes. You either become like your mum, or you stand up to her and be your own person. It’s up to you.”

Megan nodded and knew that things were going to change from now on. She never wanted to be her mother. “Buffy was right, you know? I am jealous of her, which is not something I would usually care to admit. She always seemed so perfect without even trying, and she’s really smart. To top all of that off, she has you. Yeah, I was jealous and just wanted to make her miserable like I was, but I know it’s wrong. You won’t ever have to worry about me again when she wakes up, Spike. I’m done hurting people. The accident opened up my eyes a bit. I could have died, but I think I was spared for a reason. I have to make things right.”

Spike didn’t know why, but he actually believed her.


* * * * *


Megan was a new person when she headed into school the next day. She was going to make things better during the remainder of her senior year. She wanted to be remembered for more than just a bitch. Megan smiled when she spotted Harmony at her locker and went over to join the other blonde.

“Hey, Harm, you wanna go shopping with me on Saturday? It’s my treat.”

Harmony raised her eyebrows in confusion. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to hang out with you outside of school?”

Megan waved her hand in the air. “Forget about that. We can even go to that lingerie store that you wanted to check out. I realize that I haven’t been a very good friend to you. I mean, you’re the only one that has really stuck by me, even though I haven’t treated you all that great. I just want you to know that I appreciate you still being there.”

“Wow, you should get into a car accident more often.” Harmony covered her mouth, afraid that Megan would yell at her for the comment, but she only laughed.

“Nah, I think one’s all I need to get my head on straight. Come on, let’s get to class.”

Harmony stared at her friend’s retreating back in shock, but shrugged and followed after her.


* * * * *


“So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours. I pray to be only yours. I know now you’re my only hope,” Spike sang to Buffy, his head resting lightly against her chest. “I wrote that for you, baby. Something I never told you, but I used to be in a band my freshman year. God, we were awful, but it was the most fun I could remember having. I still have my guitar in the bottom of my closet. I don’t play much anymore, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about getting back to. I’m not much of a singer, so I hope my terrible voice won’t keep you from waking up.” A throat being cleared pulled him out of his thoughts; he didn’t even realize anyone entered the room. Spike glanced up to see a nurse standing there, but it wasn’t the one he was expecting.

“It’s time for Ms. Summers to get her shot,” she said, her voice muffled by the mask she was wearing.

Spike didn’t know anything about that, but figured the nurse knew what she was doing. He couldn’t help thinking that she looked a little familiar, but he just nodded and stood up. After pressing a kiss to Buffy’s forehead, he left the room. No matter how much it pained him to leave her side; he figured it wouldn’t be for very long.


* * * * *


She shut the door behind him and turned cold eyes on the comatose girl. Addie then ripped the mask off and grinned.

“Well, what have you gotten yourself into now?” She heard about Buffy’s accident and was just waiting for the right time to make her presence known; surprised it was so easy to fool her boyfriend. Addie stepped over to the bed. “This is just cruel, leaving you here like that when you probably have no chance of waking up. I could just imagine what your poor father is going through. It would be better for all of us if I just put you out of your misery.” Her eyes landed on the machines that were keeping Buffy alive, knowing that it would be so simple to just pull the plug. She moved closer, giving the girl one more look. It would soon be all over, and she would get Hank back. He would realize that she did the right thing. With that thought in mind, she reached out. “Goodbye, Buffy.”

Chapter 27

Spike didn’t know what it was, but he suddenly had a really bad feeling. He was known for following his instincts, they never usually failed. It was that thought which had him rushing back into the hospital room, not expecting the sight before him.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Addie pulled away with a start, a glare on her face for being interrupted. “I was just paying my step-daughter a visit. I didn’t realize that was a crime.”

Spike was cursing himself for actually believing she was a nurse. “I saw what you were going to do, you crazy bitch. Get away from her,” he said in a surprisingly calm voice.

“What is with the youth today? No one knows how to respect their elders anymore.”

Spike clenched his fists at his side, but whatever else he would have said was stopped by the arrival of Buffy’s father, along with her doctor.

Hank stared at Addie. “What are you doing here?”

She gave him a smile. “I was just paying my respects, honey. I’m not the horrible person she made you think I am.”

Spike shook his head. “She’s bloody lying; I saw her try and stop Buffy’s breathing.”

Hank was appalled, knowing the young man was telling the truth. “You tried to kill my daughter? I never realized how completely heartless you were. What did you hope to accomplish?”

“She’s ruining our lives. You see what she’s putting you through? I just wanted it all to be over. You would be so much happier without her.”

The doctor moved further into the room, having heard enough. “Let’s go, ma’am. You’re not supposed to be in here. I’m going to call the police and have them deal with you.”

Addie struggled in the man’s grasp, but let him lead her out of the room.

Hank stopped him for a second. “She has some papers to sign first. I’m done after that, Addie. I don’t want anything else to do with you.”

A soft gasp had them all turning their attention on the girl lying in bed.

Spike immediately went over to Buffy’s side, seeing that her eyes were slowly opening. He felt tears cloud his vision, lowering his head to kiss the hand he was holding. Beyond relieved that he didn’t lose her. “Welcome back, baby.”

Hank smiled at them, glad to see his daughter awake. He then watched the doctor take Addie out of the room, following after them to leave the couple to their privacy. He was more determined than ever to get her to sign those papers and finally be done with their so-called marriage.

Spike didn’t notice that anyone left the room, too focused on Buffy. “I knew you would come back to me, love. I never gave up hope.”

Buffy reached out to caress his cheek. “I…I heard you sing. It was beautiful,” she responded hoarsely.

He blushed and raised her hand to his lips, giving it another kiss. “No one will ever hurt you again, Buffy. I’ll see to that.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Spike. Everything’s going to be okay now.”

He nodded and really believed that it would be.


* * * * *


Buffy was released from the hospital a few days later, which she couldn’t be happier about. She was recovering well and just wanted to get out of there.

Spike drove her to her house, getting out of the car to help her with her crutches. The doctor said she would only need them for a couple of weeks.

Her eighteenth birthday was in a month and she just prayed to be rid of them by then.

Spike helped her into the house, even though she claimed to be perfectly capable of doing it herself. He wasn’t about to let her out of his sight.

Buffy gasped in shock when she noticed the decorations in her living room. Her father and friends were all there, ready to welcome her home.

Dawn hugged Buffy, followed by Xander.

Hank was next in line and placed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s good to have you home, sweetie. This place hasn’t been the same without you.”

“I’m just really glad to be back. Hospital food is horrible,” she said with distaste.

Jenny and Giles were also there, both glad for Buffy’s recovery.

Spike wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear.

Buffy turned in his embrace. “I love you, too. About what you said in the hospital, I think you should really consider playing guitar again. I would love to hear you, and you have a great voice. Of course, I was a bit out of it, but it still was enough to wake me up. It was knowing you were there that helped me come back.”

He nuzzled her throat. “I’ll always be there.”

“Did you really write that song for me?”

Spike nodded. “It just came to me one day.”

Buffy smiled. “I would love to hear the rest of it.”

He smiled as well. “That might just be arranged.”


* * * * *


“I can’t believe I’m bloody doing this. I haven’t been on a stage in years, and it wasn’t with an audience this big.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “Come on, Spike. You said you would do this for Buffy; you can’t back out of it now. It’s only the Bronze, not a huge stadium.”

Spike nodded. “Right, for Buffy, I can do this.”

Xander patted him on the back. “That’s the spirit. Good luck, we’ll be right in the front,” he said and headed out into the audience, leaving Spike to stare after him nervously from the back of the stage.

“Oh, that makes me feel so much better.”


* * * * *


Buffy sat at the table with Xander and Dawn, anxiously waiting for Spike’s appearance. She had no idea that he would perform the song in front of all of these people; she assumed he would do it when it was just the two of them. She had to admit that the thought of him singing to her on stage was really appealing, but could only imagine how nervous he was. The lights dimmed and she took a deep breath as Spike walked onto the stage. The crowd cheered for him, mostly the girls. That would have bothered Buffy before, but now she didn’t think much about it. She was too fixated on her boyfriend.

Spike sat down on the stool and looked out to the audience, instantly meeting Buffy’s eyes. He grabbed his guitar and spoke into the microphone. “This song is for my girl. I love you, baby.”

Buffy blushed and noticed a lot of envious stares in her direction, but she was too intrigued once Spike started to strum the guitar. Her breath catching in her throat as he began to sing.


There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me of the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give you my apathy
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope


Spike finished the song and was worried when he saw tears streaming down her face, hoping he wasn’t that bad. The crowd burst into applause, but his eyes remained on Buffy.

She quickly stood up and made her way onto the stage, attacking Spike in a big hug.

He was surprised by the gesture, but definitely not disappointed. “I take it this means it was okay?”

Buffy shook her head and pulled away to look at him. “It was amazing, Spike. Thank you, I couldn’t ask for a better gift.”

Spike wiped one of her tears away with his thumb. “The pleasure was all mine. Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

She smiled and pressed her lips to his tenderly. “Best birthday ever.”

Chapter 28

Months went by and Buffy had never been so happy in her life. She was eighteen now, she had amazing friends, a wonderful boyfriend, and Addie was locked away after the stunt that she tried to pull, finally granting her father the divorce. In other words, things couldn’t possibly be any better. It was Prom night, and she was trying to calm down a very agitated Spike.

“We don’t have to go. Homecoming was bad enough and you know what happened then, this is just like any other dance.”

Buffy rubbed his shoulders. “That may be, but it’s a very important dance. It’s our Senior Prom, Spike. Something that I never thought I would get a chance to go to. I know that everything will work out; we won’t get a repeat performance of what happened before. Things have been perfect these last couple of months.”

Spike groaned. “You just had to say that, we’re probably jinxed now.”

She rolled her eyes. “You worry way too much. Prom is tonight; it’s too late to get out of it. Besides, I really want you to see the dress I picked out. It’s even better than the last one.”

“Fine, we’ll go and make a memory of it, but I’m not going to let you out of my sight.”

Buffy smiled. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”


* * * * *


Prom was going as well as Buffy knew it would. Spike’s reaction once he saw her in the dress made everything worth it. She suddenly took on a nervous feeling once it was time for the King and Queen to be announced, but this time around, Spike wouldn’t be sharing a dance with Harmony.

“This year’s Prom King and Queen are, William Giles and Buffy Summers.”

The students burst into applause.

Buffy was beyond shocked. Sure, everyone knew of them as a pretty popular couple now, but still had no idea that she was considered for Prom Queen.

Spike smiled and pulled her out of her seat, leading her to the dance floor after they accepted their crowns. He wrapped his arms around her and moved slowly to the music. “Now, this is more like it.”

Buffy smiled in return, knowing it would definitely be a night to remember.


* * * * *


“I’m so proud of you, honey. I just wish your mother was here to see you graduate.”

Buffy nodded. “She’s here in spirit. I’m just glad you’re here, Daddy. I never thought you would be.”

Hank felt his eyes tear up, glad to be at his daughter’s graduation. She really came a long way.

Spike snuck behind Buffy and picked her up.

She let out a squeal and smacked his chest as he let her down.

“We’re finally out of here, baby.”

Buffy smiled at his enthusiasm as he chatted with her father. She glanced around at all of the other students with their families, happy to finally be done with high school. She saw Dawn and Xander in the distance, locked in a passionate embrace. If it was possible, they became even more of a mushy couple than her and Spike. Buffy smiled as she watched them, her smile widening when Spike wrapped his arms around her waist.

“I love you,” he whispered.

She would never get tired of hearing him say that. “I love you, too.”


* * * * *


Everyone was enjoying their summer before college started. Well, almost everyone. It was weeks after graduation and Buffy hurried to get to the Espresso Pump after Dawn’s frantic call to meet her there. She couldn’t remember ever hearing the other girl so distressed and really worried about what could have happened. She finally reached the coffee shop and found Dawn in one of the booths, quickly making her way over to her and sitting down. Buffy was not prepared to find tears in the brunette’s eyes.

“Dawn, what’s wrong?”

She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before addressing her friend. “I’m sorry to bother you like this, but I didn’t know who else to talk to. I found out that I’m…I’m pregnant.”

Buffy’s eyes widened at her confession. “Are you sure?”

Dawn nodded. “I was late and took about three pregnancy tests, they were all positive. I panicked and didn’t know who else to call. My parents will freak and Spike? I’m even more afraid of his reaction. Not to mention Xander, I just don’t know what to do.”

Buffy couldn’t imagine being in her situation and was willing to help anyway that she could. “I know they’ll be shocked at first, but they’ll come around. Your parents are pretty understanding people. Don’t worry about Spike; he’ll be there for you no matter what. He might be upset, but he won’t always be. And Xander loves you, anyone can see that. There’s no way he’ll leave you to raise a child on your own. I’m assuming that you’ve decided to have the baby.” It wasn’t a question.

“I may not be ready for any of this, but there’s no way I could ever consider having an abortion. This baby is a part of me and Xander, I already love it. I’m just really scared. I don’t know if I can handle this.”

Buffy stood up and sat next to Dawn, wrapping her arms around the terrified girl. “You’re not in this alone. I know without a doubt that Xander will be there for you, and you always have me. You were the first person to really befriend me in this town, Dawn. I’ll never forget that.”

Dawn felt more tears fall from her eyes, but they were a bit happier than before. She hoped that she could do this. No words of love had been exchanged between her and Xander yet, but Dawn knew that she loved him. It was pretty obvious that he loved her as well. Xander treated her like she was precious and special, she knew that no one else could ever compare to him. He was the sweetest, most caring guy that she had ever been with. Dawn knew that he would be happy about the baby, once the shock wore off. It was still Spike that she was more worried about, even though she knew her brother wasn’t a virgin. It might take him longer to get used to the fact that she was pregnant. Her parents would understand that she wasn’t a child anymore. They might be a bit disappointed, but they would learn to accept it. Dawn was very grateful to have a friend like Buffy to talk to. She would never judge and was always there for her. Maybe she could even convince Buffy to come with her when she told everyone the news. At this point, she would need all the support that she could get.

Chapter 29

Buffy sat anxiously in the Giles kitchen. For once she wasn’t there just to see Spike, but to show support to Dawn when she decided to tell them the truth. She was waiting for the other girl to show up and kept glancing to the back door.

Spike entered the kitchen and sat down in front of her, not knowing the real reason for her being there. He only smiled and placed a shoe box on the table.

Buffy raised her eyebrows in confusion. “You bought me shoes?” she wondered.

Spike shook his head, a nervous feeling in his stomach. “No, just open it.”

Buffy shrugged and removed the lid of the shoe box, even more confused to see a bunch of papers inside. She grabbed one of the papers, her eyes widening from what was on it. She browsed through a few of the others to see that they were similar, looking back up at Spike in astonishment. “You wrote all of these poems about me?”

He nodded. “I’ve been storing them in here for almost two years now. I always wondered if I would ever get the courage to show you. I know I’m not very good…”

She cut him off by pressing a finger to his lips. “These are amazing, Spike. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Thank you, I can’t wait to read all of them.”

He sighed in relief. “Well, they’re yours to keep. I figured it was about time I handed them over.”

Buffy stood up and placed a kiss on his cheek. “I love you.”

Spike smiled. “I love you, too.”

Dawn walked through the back door at that moment, giving a small smile to Buffy.

She smiled in return and knew that it was time, praying that everything would turn out okay.


* * * * *


“I’m glad you’re all here, there’s something I have to say and I would like to only do it once,” Dawn started, squeezing Xander’s shoulder and standing next to Buffy. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just get right to the point.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m pregnant.”

There were shocked faces all around.

Jenny gasped and brought her hand to her mouth. “Oh god, my baby is going to have a baby.”

Giles placed a comforting hand on her arm, not knowing what else to say, but feeling just as stunned.

Spike stood up, anger taking over his features. “How could you let this happen? Bloody hell, you’re only eighteen!”

Dawn felt just as infuriated. “You really have no room to talk, Spike. I’m not the only one in this house having sex.”

Jenny buried her face in her hands. She had a feeling that her children were sexually active, but she hoped to be wrong.

“Don’t make this about me, Dawn. You should know to use protection at all times.”

She threw her hands up in the air. “It was only once and we used a condom at the time. You know those things aren’t always accurate. I just didn’t end up as lucky as you, okay? It doesn’t even matter now, I’m pregnant and that’s not going to change. I’m keeping this baby.”

Buffy put her arm around Dawn to try and calm her.

Spike noticed and looked at his girlfriend now. “Did you know about this? How could you not tell me?”

Dawn glared at her brother. “Don’t get mad at Buffy, it wasn’t her place to tell you. I needed to talk to someone about it that wasn’t in this family. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“What about me?” Xander stated quietly.

Dawn glanced at her boyfriend, forgetting for a second that he was there. She moved to his side, taking both of his hands in hers. “I wanted to tell you first, but I was so afraid. I didn’t know how you would take it. I know we’re really young and probably not ready for any of this, but I want this baby. I just hope you want it, too.”

Xander caressed her cheek. “Of course I do, Dawn. I love you.”

Her eyes teared up at his declaration. She should have known that she would have nothing to worry about with him. “I love you, too.”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to her lips.

Jenny had to smile as well, squeezing her husband’s hand. “We love you very much, sweetie. This may be a surprise to all of us, but we’ll support you with whatever you decide to do. Isn’t that right, honey?”

Giles agreed. “Yes, what your mother said.”

Dawn sighed in relief. “Thanks, that means a lot.”

Spike had enough and stormed out of the living room.

Buffy took off after him, reaching him before he could leave the house. “Spike, what would you have done if it was me?”

He stopped to stare at her. “What are you talking about?”

“What if I was the pregnant one? Would you have just walked away from me?”

Spike shook his head. “You know I wouldn’t, but this is my sister. I can’t even imagine her having sex and I know I have no right to think that, but she’s my baby sister. I know, she’s only three minutes younger than me, but she’ll always be my baby sister. It’s just a lot to take in.”

Buffy stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “They’re in love, Spike. She needs her big brother right now. You’re going to have a little niece or nephew, that’s pretty wonderful.”

He had to smile at that. “I never thought about being an uncle, at least not anytime soon. And you’ll get to be an aunt; did you look at the bottom of the shoe box?”

She was confused at his sudden subject change. “No, I didn’t get a chance to yet.”

Spike pulled her over to the kitchen table. “Go ahead, I promise it’s nothing that will bite.”

Buffy laughed and did as he said, rummaging through the papers until she felt something hard at the bottom. She pulled the object out and gasped at the sight of the gorgeous, diamond ring. “Oh my god,” she claimed.

He took a deep breath. “My mum helped me pick it out, so she already knows I planned on asking you.”

“Asking me?”

He nodded. “Will you marry me, Buffy? I don’t mean anytime soon, I know we’re still too young for that. I just wanted to know that there would be a possibility. That maybe when we’re finished with college, you would consider being my wife.”

Buffy didn’t hesitate with her answer. “Yes, I’ll marry you. I don’t care when. It could be tomorrow or ten years from now. I love you so much, Spike.”

A bigger smile lit up his face as he took the ring and placed it on her finger to find that it was the perfect fit. “I love you, too. More than I ever knew I could love anything.”

Xander and Dawn watched them from the doorway, leaving her parents to talk amongst themselves about this new turn of events.

“Are you expecting a proposal, too?”

Dawn shook her head. “I don’t want you to propose to me because I’m pregnant; we’ll just wait for that. Besides, I wouldn’t wanna steal their thunder.”

Xander was relieved by her response. He didn’t even have a ring for her yet. He just wanted to bask in the fact that he was going to be a father; everything else could wait for another day.

Epilogue

One year later…

“Hey, Mom. I can’t believe it took me this long to stop by. A lot has happened, but I couldn’t be happier. I want you to meet someone.” Buffy took Spike’s hand in hers and pulled him over to the tombstone. “You kind of already met, but I wanted it to be official. This is Spike, my fiancé. He’s the guy that bought all of my paintings from the gallery. I know you would have really liked him.”

Spike took a deep breath. “I only met you once, but I could tell that you were a very kind person. You don’t have to worry about your daughter; I plan on taking very good care of her. You have my word on that.”

Buffy felt tears in her eyes as she gave his hand a squeeze. “We’re getting married in a few weeks. I guess we got a bit too impatient. Dad’s doing well; I know he misses you. He’s really trying hard to make things right with us, and he knows how much you would have wanted that. I promise to come back and visit after the wedding. I’ll have a lot to tell you then. Goodbye, Mommy. I love you,” she whispered the last part, then turned to Spike. “Let’s go home.”

He nodded, leading her out of the cemetery and over to his car.


* * * * *


“God, he’s already gotten so big.”

Dawn smiled, her son resting in her arms. “Yeah, I can tell it will be hard to keep him in clothes.”

Spike smiled as well, gazing down at his nephew. “Can I take him?”

Dawn nodded and handed Alexander over to his uncle, then went to join Buffy in the kitchen.

“Hey there, bit. It’s your Uncle Spike. I’m the one that’s going to spoil you rotten, but don’t tell your mum. It’s our little secret,” he said, pressing a tender kiss to the baby’s forehead.

Buffy watched him from the doorway, knowing that he would make a great father. “Spike’s so good with him.”

“That he is. He acts tough a lot of the time, but my brother always had a soft spot for babies.”

Xander came in through the back door of the Giles house, flashing the girls a bright smile. “Where’s my little man?”

Dawn only pointed to the living room, moving out of the way when Xander headed in there. “I’d like to see him try and get the baby away from Spike.”

Buffy nodded in agreement.


* * * * *


“I can’t believe you took me to the carnival again.”

Spike shrugged. “It was our first date. I figured it would be all romantic like, but we could do something else.”

Buffy shook her head. “No, this is really sweet. I guess you can say it’s kind of where everything started.”

He smiled. “And this time, I won’t be a bloody pansy on the ferris wheel.”

Buffy laughed. “I would have to see that to believe it.”


* * * * *


She gasped into his mouth, his lips pulling away to trail kisses down her neck. Apparently, the top of the ferris wheel was a pretty popular spot for couples to make out. Buffy held him close to her, running her fingers down his back.

Spike felt shivers up his spine.

“You’re trembling,” she whispered. “I thought you weren’t scared anymore.”

He gazed into her eyes. “Not scared, your kisses just have the ability to make me quiver.”

Buffy blushed, amazed that he could still bring her to that. “We’re getting married tomorrow. Are you nervous?”

Spike didn’t have to hesitate with his answer. “I’m more ecstatic than nervous. Having you become my wife will be the best thing in this world. I couldn’t be happier.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” she said, taking his hand and placing it over her stomach.

Spike’s eyes widened at what she was implying. “Buffy?”

She nodded. “I’m pregnant, I found out a month ago. I don’t know why it took me so long to tell you, but I guess I was just afraid. I see you with Alexander and you’re so caring with him. I know we haven’t talked about having kids yet, but that did help me feel a little better about telling you.”

He couldn’t stop the huge smile from forming on his face. “We’re having a baby?”

Buffy felt relieved by his reaction. “Yeah, it looks like.”

Spike attacked her in a hug, bringing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss and wishing more than anything that they were back on the ground. He pulled away when breathing became an issue, pressing his forehead against hers. “I take it back; I don’t think I could be any happier than I am right now. I love you so much.”

She smiled. “I love you, too. Always and forever.”


* * * * *


Spike felt his breath catch in his throat when Buffy walked down the aisle with her father, tears misting in his eyes at the sight of her. She was so beautiful, just the fact that she was carrying their child made her even more beautiful. They wanted to wait until after the wedding to tell the others about her being pregnant. He took her hand once she reached his side.

Buffy kissed her father’s cheek and watched as he sat down next to Giles, then focused her attention back on her future husband.

They both turned to the minister. Vows were exchanged, rings were placed where they rightfully belonged, and tears were shed. Not just from the bride and groom. They shared their first kiss as husband and wife, smiling as the crowd around them applauded.

Buffy glanced around at her family and friends, in complete awe that all of this was happening to her. She had the life that she always dreamt about; never thinking it would come true. She gazed at her husband, giving his hand a squeeze. “I love you, Mr. Giles.”

He brought her hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on her ring finger. “I love you, Mrs. Giles. Always and forever.”

The End


Okay, who thinks this was very mushy? Yeah, I know. I just couldn’t resist, it’s what I do. I wasn’t too sure about the ending, but this was all the muse would allow. I think it was about time this story finished, anyway. I’m working on three others right now, but I’m not sure when the next one will be posted. I think I need a bit of a break. Thank you to everyone that read and reviewed. Your comments were much appreciated. I’m glad you guys enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it=)