“This is stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

She turned to look at him, putting one hand on her hip. “Excuse me?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled.

“That’s what I thought.” She started walking again and he pursed his lips in anger.

“Bint.”

“I can hear you!”

“Yeah? Good!” Spike had officially stopped caring.

Buffy took a deep breath and counted to three before turning around yet again.

“You seem to have something you want to say to me. I suggest you say it to my face.”

Spike took three long strides and stood so close to her, she had to quickly look down to make sure their bodies weren’t touching.

“I understand that your mum is on the mend but I think I speak for everyone when I say you have been one foul, pain in the ass for the last week. No wonder soldier boy is playing Houdini so much lately.”

“He is not!”

“Oh?”

“Shut up, Spike.” Buffy’s fist clenched and she could feel her cheeks begin to burn.

Spike looked down and smirked. “Ah, the old Slayer stand-by. Don’t like what I have to say, so you’ll punch me for it. Love that.”

“I swear to God I am going to…move!”

Before he knew what was happening, she shoved him to the ground and was furiously working her fists into a Muvado demon.

“Fanfuckingtastic,” he mumbled. If there was one thing he truly hated, it was a Muvado demon. He jumped up with ease and watched her. He knew he should help but watching her beat something up was just as entertaining. For as klutzy as she could be in her everyday life, her stealth in battle was something to behold.

“Seriously? You’re…going…to…stand…there?” She accentuated every word with a punch and he could tell she was mightily pissed off, which, if he had to be honest, was exactly how he loved her.

Er, liked her.

Oh, hell, who was he fooling?

“Yeah, actually, kind of was.”

“Could you not?” Her voice was dripping with sweetness but there was an underlying message of “stake meet Spike” there that he couldn’t ignore.

“It’s not so stupid now, is it, Slayer?”

She looked at him briefly, a look of pure hatred in her eye and that was it for her hold on the demon. It quickly saw her distraction and used it against her. It easily picked her up and lifted her over its head.

“Spike!”

“I’m working on it,” he said as he walked purposefully over to the demon. Getting within two feet of the thing, Spike remembered quite clearly why he hated Muvados. They smelled. A lot.

The Muvado threw Buffy to the ground and either said something or laughed in Spike’s direction. He couldn’t tell and he didn’t speak Muvado. He didn’t feel the need to ever learn because he wanted that one time in Texas to be the last time he came across one of these things.

He punched him in the same manner that Buffy had, knowing that if you struck the right spot, it would die. He wondered if Buffy had learned that in all her Slayer studies. It would be fairly sloppy of Giles if he hadn’t told her the quickest and most sufficient way to kill the thing. If only Spike could remember where –

“Hit it on the left side, off-center. It’s there somewhere,” Buffy told him as she hoisted herself off the ground, clutching her side.

“I know what to do.”

“Then you should probably do it.”

Spike moved his fist lower and struck as hard as he could, pure determination on his face. Buffy found herself too busy watching him fight than to help him. She had never noticed how involved he got into the fight before. It was just like when she fought. She could tell there was one single thought in his head and she felt a little tingle in her stomach. She shook it off as best she could but when she saw the muscle in his jaw twitch, there was a full-on flip that made her extremely uncomfortable.

She didn’t know what to do about that so she did the only thing she could, she ran headfirst back into the scuffle.

“Move!” She pushed him again and quickly jabbed the Muvado on the right side. When it bent, leaving its left side unprotected, she punched it right below the diaphragm…or whatever it was that they had. She couldn’t be expected to remember the names of demon innards, could she?

It fell to its knees and Buffy took a step back and quickly and with as much force as she could muster, kicked the demon in the same spot. The Muvado fell to its side and began to convulse.

“Uh, what’s happening?”

Spike stood beside her and watched; his brow furrowed. “I’m not even going to wager a guess.”

“You told Giles you killed this kind of demon before, remember? That’s why we’re doing this…together.”

“I killed it, luv. I didn’t stick around to study it. I’m not morbid like you.”

“I am not morbid! I like to finish a job, Spike. I like to make sure that when I set out to kill something, I actually, you know, kill it!”

“Are you implying that I do shoddy work?”

“I’m implying that - “ Buffy stopped and looked down at the demon. “It stopped.”

“It’s dead.”

“Check.”

“No way, Slayer. You’re the efficient one. You check.”

“You smell.”

“Nice comeback...sissy.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I’m being literal.”

Spike huffed. “Yeah, you’re not smelling of roses, either, princess.”

“Just check the stupid thing!”

“I am not your vampire slave, Slayer! You check the sodding thing if you want to know if you killed it.”

“Fine, you big wuss.”

“You wreck me, Slayer, with your cutting use of words.”

Buffy ignored him and leaned down to do what she wasn’t exactly sure yet. All she knew was that the smell intensified the closer she got and she had to hold her breath.

“Slayer?”

“Shut it.”

“Slayer, I think maybe you should – “

She turned to him. “Spike, when I want you to say something, I’ll ask you a question, until then shut – EW!”

“I tried to tell you,” Spike said with a laugh.

Buffy slowly stood and as she wiped the slime from her cheeks, she heard a noise that didn’t make her feel any better.

“I think…it’s going to blow,” she told Spike.

“Oh, pet, I think it already did.”

Buffy took a few steps back and waited. There was only a little slime coming from the ruptured spot on its chest but yet, she couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t over.

“You said you didn’t wait around when you killed the other one, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Giles told me something about when you kill it and I just can’t remember – “

“That it’ll spew slime on its killer just as she’s stupidly bending over it to make sure its dead?”

“You know what, Spike?”

“What, Slayer?”

She punched him in the nose as an answer. She knew he understood that better than words.

“Ow,” he said slowly. “Not necessary.”

“Totally necessary.”

He came at her and she ducked out the way, sweeping her leg out and knocking him down within inches of the demon.

“This thing reeks more dead than alive.”

“Same could be said for you.”

“You’re killing me, Slayer.”

“Not yet but we could probably work – “

She stopped talking when Spike held up his index finger. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited.

“What?”

“I thought I heard something.”

“From the dead demon?”

“Now’s not the time to be a wise-ass, luv.”

“According to you, it’s always the time.”

He gave her a dirty look and she rolled her eyes again and sighed heavily, not hiding her annoyance. Why did she always give him a hard time? Why couldn’t she just be quiet when he asked? How did she get under his skin so easily?

He obviously knew how. He just didn’t like it.

A loud hissing noise brought his thoughts back to the situation at hand.

“That’s probably not a good thing,” Buffy ventured.

“No flies on you.”

“I really hate that expression. It makes no sense. What does it mean, exactly?”

“Now? You want to have this discussion now with the spewing, hissing demon corpse?” He shook his head and muttered, “Brilliant.”

“I’m just saying – “ Buffy stopped herself and Spike watched her eyes grow as large as saucers.

“What?”

Buffy could only point and he turned back to look at the dead demon on the ground. He mimicked Buffy’s expression as he watched the small hole widen until its chest was a completely open cavern. He slowly stood and moved closer to Buffy.

“If something Alien-like jumps out of its chest, you are on your own, pet.”

“Look inside.”

“Uh, no,” Spike answered.

“Chicken.”

“You think that’ll get me to do it?”

“Yes,” she answered him matter-of-factly.

“You are your own kind of special, aren’t you?”

“No one else like me,” Buffy said, proudly.

“No, no there is not,” Spike agreed. She looked at him in surprise and he coughed, turning away from her.

He stood over the demon and looked down into its empty chest. He really didn’t want to get any closer than this but from where he was, he couldn’t see anything.

He shrugged. “Maybe this is how it decomposes.”

“I’m taking best case scenario for two hundred, Alex.”

“Right,” he concurred. “Maybe you should get Giles.”

“We’re not exactly close to the Magic Box.” She paused, thinking. “Maybe we should just leave it? Like you did that time?”

“I thought you wanted to make sure it was dead. Isn’t that what you had your panties in a bunch about not ten minutes ago?”

She glared at him. “Do you ever not talk?”

“Do you ever come down off that high horse of yours?”

“Just because I’m better than you, that doesn’t mean I’m on a high horse.”

“Oh, luv, I think that’s the very definition. Snooty? Check. Superiority complex? Check. Complete and utter bitch? Check, check, check. Add them up and you get high horse.”

“I loathe you.”

“The feeling is mutual. Believe me.”

“I’m going. I don’t need to put up with this. You can take care of the Movado on your own.”

“Muvado, Slayer. Movado is an expensive kind of watch.”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever,” Spike teased. “You’re full of that good, ole’ Slayer wit tonight.”

She breathed deeply, trying to calm down and that was her first mistake because everywhere smelled like slimy dead demon. She began to cough, not able to catch a clean breath.

“You all right, Slayer?” She shook her head quickly and he tried to remember what to do if someone started choking besides point and laugh. “Hands over your head!”

She did as he said and he lightly tapped her on the back. She slowly was able to breathe again but not without the stench.

“I can’t take the smell anymore.”

“I agree. Even I’m beginning to get high off the fumes.”

“Well, what should we do?”

“I vote to leave it.”

“Figures,” Buffy said. “Why I thought you would come up with an actual solution is beyond me.”

“Leaving it is an actual solution. Don’t ask a question if you don’t want an answer.” He reached into his pocket for a cigarette and continued, “You just said we should leave it!”

She watched him light the cigarette and take that first drag. He closed his eyes, seeming so content. His tongue came out of his mouth just a tiny bit and she couldn’t look away. She knew she had to but she just couldn’t.

“I don’t understand you. You’re a crazy bird, you know that? If it’s not one thing, it’s another with you. You’re never satisfied by anything. You drive me right around the bend.”

Buffy shook her head and asked, “What?”

“Now you’re not even giving me the courtesy of listening to me? Way to make a man feel like – “

“Spike!” Buffy yelled, cutting him off. “Shh! Please, for the love of all things, do not say another word.”

He opened his mouth and she gave him such a stern look of disapproval that he immediately snapped it shut.

“Listen.”

They both looked at the Muvado demon and waited. Spike looked at her in surprise when he heard the low groaning. She crooked an eyebrow in question and he shrugged his shoulders in response.

“I wish I could remember what Giles said,” Buffy whispered.

“Might be important right about now.”

“Do you know how much information he gives you in one session? It’s hard to remember every little thing.”

“I think remembering what happens to this thing after you kill it is not so little.”

“Well, maybe if you had actually stuck around the first time you killed one of these things, we would know!”

At that, the dead demon in question exploded and sent Buffy and Spike sailing. Spike fell on his back, hitting his head hard on the ground. Buffy landed half on his body, half on the ground and felt her arm twist in the wrong direction.

She moved her arm, grimaced at the pain and looked over to where the demon had been. There was now a small hole in the ground and demon parts were everywhere, including on her and Spike.

“So I guess that’s what happens,” she said. “And may I add an ew because, really, that’s just gross.”

“I need a shower.”

“Second that. Demon guts aren’t exactly the cutting edge in fashion.”

“Don’t suppose you could help a vampire out?”

Buffy laughed, short and quick, stopping when she realized he was serious. “How to answer that question? Does a simple no suffice?”

“I saved your ass, Slayer! And I wouldn’t be covered in Muvado if we had just left like I originally suggested.”

“First of all, you did not ‘save my ass’. You distracted me with being you and it took advantage of that fact. Secondly…secondly…” She tried to think of another reason to not let him use her shower but she had to admit, to herself only, that he wasn’t exactly wrong.

“Can’t think of anything, can you? Because you know I’m right.”

“Don’t gloat,” she warned, still thinking. Smiling, she told him, “And secondly, I only have one shower at the moment. The other is clogged thanks to Dawn’s never ending hair.”

“We could always – “

“Finish that sentence and you’ll be a shower of ash.”

Spike sat up and raised his hands in surrender. “Bloke can’t even make a joke.”

“An inappropriate joke while I’m covered in demon? Not the best way to go.”

“Sorry,” he murmured and she was surprised yet again.

Buffy sighed. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Spike perked up and smiled.

“Don’t get too excited,” she told him, quickly. “You’re in and you’re out. No hot chocolate, no telly, none of it.”

“Your mum won’t mind? Or Dawn?”

“She’s still…in the hospital and Dawn’s with her, not that either of them would care anyway. They like you for some strange reason.”

She walked away from him and he couldn’t help the broad grin that broke out on his face and the slight skip in his step as he followed her back to Revello Drive.

*****************************

Buffy groaned in misery as she peeled her soiled clothes from her body. Another jacket ruined. Another pair of jeans designated to the “Slaying Only” pile that was beyond out of control. She knew she should just wear sweats but by now it was just as much a challenge to not get anything on her clothes. However, if she had remembered what Giles had told her about the Muvado, she would have worn sweats and a raincoat.

She turned the shower on and ran her fingers under the water to check the temperature. She couldn’t wait to get under the hot water and wash away that hunt. It was too messy and a little too annoying. She was relishing the quiet –

“Hey!” She heard Spike’s voice yell through the door. “Don’t you be using all the hot water. Just ‘cause I’m dead, doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a nice hot one.”

“You’ll get what you get!”

“Can I turn on the telly?”

Buffy sighed. “Sure, whatever. Go away!”

She quickly got in the shower so she couldn’t hear whatever else he felt the need to say. She loved the noise of the shower and how it made her feel like she was nestled away in her own little cocoon. She didn’t get a lot of chances to relax in the shower without Dawn barging in or having to go kill some demon or her mom asking her to do yet another chore. It was a luxury she appreciated but she couldn’t help feeling guilty about liking it.

Thinking of her mom made her think of Joyce’s last night in the house before her operation. The fact that all the chaos of the Queller happened a week ago amazed Buffy. Joyce was still in the hospital and, hopefully, would be coming home soon. She knew about Dawn and that was such a large burden off of Buffy’s shoulders. She felt like life could finally get back to normal again…or, at least, as normal as her life could be.

Spike’s comment about Riley floated through her mind and she frowned. She would never tell Spike that he wasn’t too far off. Buffy was surprised by how little she had seen Riley since her mom became sick. She was even more shocked and, frankly, dismayed when he burst through her front door with his old Initiative buddies. She was sure that Riley was just as surprised to see Spike at her house, helping her. Helping her up from the floor. Helping her up from the floor and letting his hand linger in hers…

She tried not to think about that for the last week but the truth was she had. It was hard not to. Not because there was some insane, electrical charge between them – she had touched him enough times over their four year acquaintance to recognize when that happened. It was something different that she had become aware of that night. She had – dare she even think it – felt a sense of comfort from the simple act. He had her back, he helped her and he was there for her when she needed someone – twice now since her mom became ill. She didn’t even want to think about the fact that the same couldn’t be said for her boyfriend.

Why would Spike help her? Not just tonight or last week, but even that night of show and tell when he had obviously come to her house to try and kill her. He didn’t have to sit with her and be there if she felt the need to talk. She didn’t and neither did he, which was a minor miracle but still. It was these little things that Spike had been doing lately that had her wondering what he was up to.

The thing that scared her the most was that she didn’t think he was up to anything. Anything evil, at least.

**********************************************

Buffy found Spike in the kitchen, sitting at the island with not one, but two cups of hot chocolate. She felt the corners of her mouth lift and she quickly shook it off.

“I thought I told you no hot chocolate.” She found it easier to be bitchy than to be nice to him. Plus, it’s what he expected from her.

“I made you one, too. Thanks wouldn’t kill you, Slayer.”

“Not me, no,” Buffy said, pointedly.

Spike turned to her and stopped short when he saw her in her pajamas and a bathrobe. Her hair was still wet and the scent of her shampoo filled his senses. He needed to look away before she took offense and staked his dead self right then and there but he just couldn’t. It was a risk he was willing to take at this point.

“What?” she asked, her brow wrinkling which he found completely…evil help him, adorable.

He shook his head. “Nothing. Did you leave me any hot water?”

“I waited until it got luke warm so you should be fine.”

“Luv, luke warm and hot are actually two different things.”

“Oh, I’m well aware.” She cocked her eyebrow and looked him hard in the eye.

He smirked, knowing that she did it on purpose. The girl complained a lot about hating evil things but she wasn’t too far off. He thought of paying her back with one of the many insults regarding her boytoy and temperature but he resisted, as he actually did need to take a shower and he’d be damned if he waited all this time to get kicked out now.

She kept looking at him, as if she was trying to egg him on and he wasn’t going to back down. He stared right back, giving as good as he was getting. Buffy didn’t intend for this to turn into a staring contest but now that it was on, she couldn’t give up. He would never shut up about it if she did. She thought it would be the easiest fight she would be in with Spike but the more they stared at each other, the more she felt the situation beginning to change.

She started to feel warm, much too warm, and her face flushed; her ears burned. She quickly licked her lips not even realizing that it took all of Spike’s will power not to watch her tongue sweep across her lips. He breathed harder not realizing that she was wondering if he was feeling the same tightness in his chest as she was feeling in hers. She wondered if that were even possible because she knew exactly what it was and she didn’t like it. It meant things she didn’t want to explore; things she couldn’t explore. She breathed out and noticed that her breath was a little too shaky when she exhaled.

She hoped he hadn’t noticed; he had.

He stood and took a step closer to her. Her hand went to the counter top when she felt a bit dizzy but she still didn’t break eye contact and neither did he. He took two more steps to her and she inhaled deeply and held it, needing something to concentrate on other than the blue eyes before her. She had to look away but she couldn’t and he felt exactly the same way, except he didn’t care as much as she did. He wasn’t bothered by what could happen or the why it was happening. He could see it plain as day on her face; in the set of eyes he had been staring into for the last few minutes.

Ring!

Buffy exhaled quickly and grabbed the phone next to her hand. With a shaky voice she answered it and when she heard Dawn’s voice, she finally broke away from Spike’s gaze.

Spike frowned when Buffy looked away and turned from him. That ringing was now in the top five cruelest moments in Spike’s life. He was so close. Even if she had come to her senses and staked him on the spot, he would have a least known what it would be like to kiss her, to feel her lips on his. He would have known that she wanted it, too. There was no spell from Red and there was nothing special about the demon guts they had been covered with earlier. It would have been pure desire and he knew that she would protest until she turned blue but she couldn’t fool him.

“Are you okay?” He heard Buffy ask and at first he thought she was speaking to him. When she continued to talk, he realized his mistake. He watched her profile as she spoke and he noticed the slight changes as the conversation went on. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw her smile – genuinely smile – and he was extremely happy that he was there when it happened. She looked at him briefly but continued her conversation like nothing had happened.

That didn’t come as much of a surprise to Spike.

What did was when she hung up.

“That was my mom.”

“How’s she feeling?” he asked and not out of obligation. By the slight smile on Buffy’s lips, he knew she realized that.

“Better. As good as one can when they’ve cracked open your skull and removed a tumor the size of a baby carrot.”

“Thank Christ I don’t eat carrots.”

“Tell me about.”

“Nibblet with her?”

“Yeah, but Willow and Tara were taking her for the night because…of the demon.”

“That we’ve already killed.”

“What’s this ‘we’ business?” She laughed a little and she wouldn’t deny that it felt really nice. “I love my sister but – “

“The quiet’s nice, too.”

“Exactly.”

They stood in the kitchen not saying anything for a few minutes. Buffy shifted from one foot to the other and Spike couldn’t keep his arms still.

“So – “ Buffy began but Spike had started talking, as well. “What?”

“You can go.”

“No, please.”

Spike’s eyebrow went up at that and Buffy rolled her eyes at him. He was glad that hadn’t changed.

“If it’s all right with you, I’m going to take that shower now.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s perfectly fine. I mean, yes, that’s what you’ve been waiting for so, of course,” she stammered.

Spike couldn’t help thinking that wasn’t the only thing he had been waiting for but he didn’t say so. Instead, he replied, “Maybe that luke warm is now back to hot.”

Buffy blushed and she silently cursed herself for it. She didn’t want to feel all tingly when he said the word “hot” and yet…there was no stopping the “tingle of doom”, as she had taken to calling it.

She nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Sorry to ruin your evil plan.”

“I am not evil.”

“Whatever you say, pet, but I know it when I see it and you – “ he leaned into her, barely putting his body on hers, and whispered in her ear, “have that twinkle.”

The soft tone of his voice gave Buffy goose bumps. He was too close for comfort and she needed to move away from him but she was rooted to the spot she stood in.

He moved past her without another word and she could hear him whistle as he went up the stairs. She exhaled loudly and fell against the wall, feeling completely drained.

What the hell was he up to and why the hell wasn’t she kicking him out for it?

**********************************

The shower was worth the wait and the water was definitely hot enough for Spike. He was still having trouble processing the fact that he was in Buffy’s shower and that he didn’t have to sneak in when no one was home like he usually did. He knew he was playing a dangerous game; that she could get really pissed off quite easily and show him the pointy end of a stake but she didn’t seem to mind. And that was providing him with a serious mindfuck. Out of all the things he thought would happen when he started playing, her not being able to retaliate had not been one of them.

Maybe she was off her game. Maybe the fight was out of her. Her mom was sick and he saw firsthand how that had affected her. It was the real reason why he volunteered to help her fight the Muvado. He knew she could handle herself in a fight but she was devastated and he knew what that could be like and what it could do to you. He wasn’t going to let her slip and end up dead at the hands of some smelly, gooey demon.

The thing that surprised him most was that she was actually talking to him. When she told him who had called, he was shocked. She had no reason to tell him who it was and telling him seemed like she was offering an explanation. And that couldn’t be, could it? She couldn’t feel…obligated to explain why their moment was interrupted? That would be crazy. And he would obviously be crazy for thinking such a thing but he just couldn’t shake it. They didn’t converse. Not like they had been just a few short minutes ago.

It would be in his best interest not to question it. If she was actually feeling any good will towards him, he shouldn’t jinx it in any way. But he had been waiting so long for anything, for any sign that she could at the very least tolerate him and now that it had finally presented itself, he didn’t want to let it go. She hadn’t said anything about their little staring contest but he knew that she was affected by it. He’d been alive long enough to know when he was working his magic. He just didn’t know why it was actually working tonight.

“Spike?” Buffy asked, through the door.

“Yeah?”

“There aren’t any towels left so I just wanted to let you know that I put a couple outside the door.”

“You can bring them in.”

“Um, no, that’s okay.”

Spike laughed and shook his head. “Can’t come in without taking a peak? I understand, pet.”

“That is not true.”

“Whatever you want to keep telling yourself, Slayer, that’s fine by me. “ He heard the door open and he smiled.

“I put them on the counter. You can just leave them in here when you’re done, okay?”

He pulled the curtain back a couple of inches and said, “You want me to walk around naked?”

“Naked?” Buffy asked, looking up into the mirror, her eyes wide. She kept her back to him and fussed with the folded towels.

“My clothes aren’t exactly clean.”

“So what were you planning on wearing?”

“I was hoping that I could wash them and – “

“And what? Walk around my house in a towel?” Buffy tried to keep the panic she was feeling out of her voice but it wasn’t working too well.

“If you insist.”

“No! I don’t insist! In fact, I think you should just get out of the shower now and leave because I can not do this anymore. I don’t know what I was thinking! I don’t know why I thought you could actually be like a human being and just use the shower without causing all sorts of problems!”

“Whatever you say, luv.” Spike shut off the shower and pulled open the curtain.

Buffy heard the rings move along the rod but she turned to look at Spike, anyway, convinced that he wouldn’t just open the shower curtain and stand there…completely naked…which he was.

“Oh my god!” Buffy yelped and turned back to the towels.

“Since you’re there, could you hand me a towel?”

“No!”

“I thought you didn’t want me walking around in my birthday suit.”

“I don’t want you walking around. Period!”

Spike moved behind her and Buffy looked up into the mirror in front of them. He reached around her and grabbed a towel.

“Want to help me tie it on?” he asked, his mouth grazing her ear.

“What…” she paused, catching her breath, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I don’t think I’m being mysterious about it, pet.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t call me names like we’re a name calling couple.”

“We call each other names all the time.”

“Not of endearment.”

“To you, maybe.”

“Slayer is a term of endearment?”

“And respect.”

“Please,” she huffed, but Spike saw the little smile that went along with the eye roll. She moved away from him and walked to the door. “You need to leave.”

“You need me to leave. Bit of a difference.”

“Don’t argue semantics with me, Spike. It doesn’t matter. You need to go.”

“Why? Don’t like what’s happening?”

“And what exactly do you think is happening?”

“You want me.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped and she shook her head but said nothing.

“And you know I want you.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Why?”

“Why, Spike? Because we’re mortal enemies! We don’t want anything but to see the other one dead.”

“Not true.”

“A couple of weeks ago you came to my house with a shotgun, Spike! Something isn’t right here. Maybe there’s something wacky in the demon blood.”

“No.”

“You don’t know!”

“I know.”

“How? Since when are you an expert on the Goo Monster? You didn’t even know it was going to explode!”

“Because I’ve been – “ Spike stopped himself. This was going further than he had intended. He didn’t think the truth would go over too well.

“What, Spike? You’ve been acting strange for weeks now. I’m not just talking about that weird moment behind the Bronze when it seemed like…like you were – “

“Going to kiss you?”

“Yeah, but you weren’t.”

“I wasn’t?”

“No?”

“Very much the opposite, Slayer.”

“Oh,” Buffy sighed. “Why? I mean you hate me. It’s been decided. For years! We hate each other. We like it that way.”

“Something changed,” Spike said, shrugging, trying to make it seem as unimportant as he could.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. It means absolutely nothing.” He leaned against the counter and Buffy slumped against the closed door.

“Do you,” Buffy began but stopped. She couldn’t ask him. She didn’t think she wanted to know the answer.

“Yes.”

“You don’t know what I was going to – “

“Do I have feelings for you? Yes. Are you all I think about because I can’t sleep and even when I can get a minutes rest, you’re there? Yes. Do I think you’ll put a sharp wooden object into me now? Absolutely. Do I care anymore? No.”

Buffy opened her mouth to say something – anything – but just closed it again because she couldn’t. She couldn’t even wrap her brain around anything he was saying and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. She didn’t know what to do. She thought she should turn around and leave him to himself. By not saying anything, she wouldn’t encourage this insanity. But maybe if she didn’t say anything, he would think she felt the same and just couldn’t admit it. She was back at square one and she hated square one.

“I think maybe you’re confused,” Buffy ventured. “Maybe with the chip – “

“Chip’s nothing, Slayer.”

“You’ve wanted me dead for years! If it isn’t the chip then – “

“You think because the chip won’t let me kill you that I decided this would be a better option?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Just ‘cause I wanted you dead didn’t mean I didn’t want you, Slayer. It’s the nature of the beast.”

“What beast? You being a vampire and me being the Slayer? That’s supposed to mean that we…that you…want something…more?”

“Don’t get me wrong, pet. I love a good row with you but that only fuels the fire.”

“So you are actually going to try and tell me that you’ve had these…feelings…for a while now?”

Spike shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Yes!”

“Why? Knowing the answer to that won’t change anything.”

“That’s not the point, Spike.”

“Then tell me, Slayer, what is the point?” He walked towards her and she held up her hand, shaking her head. “Don’t want me coming any closer?”

“You take every little thing and turn it into something else.”

“No, I take every little thing and bring out the truth in it. You just don’t like that.”

“You make it into what you want the truth to be, Spike. Not what is the truth.”

“We’re obviously going to have to agree to disagree on that point.”

“No, you’re going to agree with me.”

“Why? Because all your little Slayerettes do?”

“They do not! Giles never agrees with me.”

Spike took another step toward her and she took a deep breath and held it.

“You look nervous.”

“I’m not nervous. I’m uncomfortable.”

“Turn around and leave then.”

“We’re in the middle of something and I want to make sure we resolve it before anything else is done.”

“It seems to me that you’re just delaying because you like me in my little towel.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “You wish.”

“Don’t need to wish, pet. It’s clear as day.”

“Fine, I’m going,” she said and quickly turned around, putting her hand on the door knob. She pulled and Spike’s arm shot out and slammed it shut again. “Back away from me, Spike. I’m not kidding.”

“You don’t scare me, Slayer.”

Buffy turned her head and he was right there. She hated how stealthy he could be. She hadn’t even heard him come up behind her and she certainly didn’t think he was only an inch away from her. All of her. She wiped her damp palms on her pants and she felt flustered yet again. She looked down at his lips, which slowly formed into his trademark smirk that she always wanted to wipe right off his face. Firmly. With her fist.

“You know what, Spike?”

“What, Slayer?” he whispered.

She turned quickly and pushed him against the wall. Her hands grabbed his upper arms and held him. Before she could even think not to, her lips were on his. Spike groaned which only spurred her on and she slipped her tongue into his mouth. He broke free from her grasp and his hand went to her hair, keeping her mouth against his. His other hand slid down her side to her backside and pushed her tightly against him.

She tried to move her lips away but Spike kept her there. She was trying to breathe and kiss Spike and she forgot what it could be like to kiss a vampire who didn’t have to do both. She put her hands on his chest and pushed away, taking deep breaths.

“Do it and get it over with.”

“Huh?” she asked, genuinely confused.

“Punching me in the face. Let’s just get it over with. Beat me up for something I didn’t do. Blame me for you kissing me.”

“I’m not going to punch you.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Well, all right then,” Spike said, smiling.

She smiled, too, but it didn’t meet her eyes and he knew she was already thinking of excuses as to why she kissed him. He wished she would just do what she wanted for once but, apparently, that would never be the case. Maybe it was his own ego he was stroking, but she seemed to be more her than she had been recently and he liked to believe it was partly his doing. She probably never would admit to that but it was okay that he thought it.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, still not looking at him. She opened her mouth to say something and closed it again, sighing. She shook her head, as if having a debate with herself and Spike just watched her, mildly amused by what he was seeing.

“You want to be left alone?” he asked.

“I –“ she began, before stopping.

“You?”

“I don’t know why I did that.”

“I do.”

“I’m sure you think you do.”

“No, luv, I’m sure I know exactly why you kissed me.”

“Because I wanted to? That’s what you’re going to say, right?”

“No, because I never thought you would admit to that.”

“I’m not,” she said, quickly. “I’m saying what you’re saying I would say.” She furrowed her brow. “That hurt my head.”

Spike laughed and said, “I was going to guess that you attacked me because you’re feeling out of sorts, as of late and you needed something to distract you. Believe me, I’m not complaining.”

“That sounds fairly – hey, I did not attack you.”

“Like a bear on a hunter, pet.”

She rolled her eyes. “I can get you a robe and you can wash your clothes.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised.

“Don’t be so shocked. I can be nice sometimes, you know. It’s in limited supply but I know how to be nice.”

“It’s not pink or frilly is it?”

Buffy just smiled and left the bathroom.

*******************************************************

“It’s not pink,” Buffy said as she gave him the once over.

“Where’s the sodding washer?”

“Come on.”

Spike followed Buffy down the stairs and tugged on the robe. It may not have been pink but it was short and thin – a little too thin for Spike’s tastes. The only thing it had going for it was that it was red. Spike tried to envision Buffy wearing it with maybe a matching negligee under it but then he thought of why she would have bought something like this in the first place and the sexiness of the idea vanished. It turned his stomach that she would be wasting such good lingerie on Commando boy.

“You do know how to use these, right?”

“What did Xander tell you?” he asked. Buffy looked at him like he was crazy. “Not really, no.”

“You are so weird,” she said. “Put your clothes up there. There’s some stain remover.”

“Probably not necessary.”

“Whatever. Demon guts do not come out. Trust me.”

“Fine.”

“I love when I win.” Buffy picked up the bottle and sprayed some on his shirt and jeans. “Put it in the machine, put in some detergent, close the lid, press start. Pretty easy, huh?”

“Sure.”

“Good so next time you do laundry, you shouldn’t shrink all your clothes and have to wear some tropical monstrosity and shorts.”

She giggled and he couldn’t help but smile despite his embarrassment.

“And, also, when you sneak in here to take showers, you can now wash your clothes, too.”

“How did – “

“When more towels were being used and thrown about and we realized it wasn’t Dawn being a slob, we put two and two together.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything.”

“Mom didn’t see the big deal in it. I wanted to kick your ass for breaking and entering but she insisted that you weren’t hurting anything and to just pretend like we didn’t know.”

“Again I say…”

“She’s sick, Spike. I do whatever she tells me,” she said, quietly. He saw her shake it off before she continued. “Besides, like I told you before, she likes you for reasons that are beyond my comprehension.”

“Well, thanks for the pass. It’s appreciated.”

“What’s appreciated is if you washed your towels afterward. Really, Spike, how many do you need?”

His mouth opened to respond but when he saw the slow smile form on her lips, he didn’t bother. He returned the smile, feeling more at ease with Buffy than he ever had before. Even more so than when they were under that damn spell last year.

“About what happened in the bathroom,” Buffy began.

“The bathroom you practically mauled me in, Slayer? That bathroom?”

“Never mind,” she said and walked away. He quickly grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Let me go.”

“Sorry, luv. Can’t resist and I can’t believe you think I could. I’ll be good. Scout’s honor.”

She was skeptical but she nodded and he let go of her arm. She didn’t want to think about how she liked his hand there, his fingers pressing into her skin with just enough force to make her stop but not crossing a line that would probably make the chip fire off. She knew it wasn’t possible but it felt warm where his hand had been and that made her feel a little uneasy because that definitely said something about her body’s reaction to his. She had to start talking because she didn’t like thinking anymore.

“What you said upstairs…about me kissing you because I’m sad, that,” she paused, trying to find the right words and she sighed when she couldn’t, “that sounds bad. Like I’m this person who would – “

“I know you’re not.”

“But you even said that I act high and mighty all the time. That I think I’m better than everyone else.”

“And?”

“And…and I don’t want to be that person!”

“Well, buckle up, sweetheart, because you are.”

“I am not, Spike!”

“Luv, you’re the Slayer and I’d wager a certain amount of self-absorption goes along with it. And the uppity thing, well, I suspect that’s just you.”

Buffy snorted. “You always know just what to say to woo a girl, Spike.”

“Am I supposed to be wooing?”

She blushed and shook her head. “No, of course not. I didn’t mean it like that. You take everything and twist it around. It’s really very annoying.”

“You only get annoyed when I strike a nerve,” he told her, the smugness in his voice not going unnoticed by Buffy.

“Sometimes I hate you so much.”

“Those are usually the times when I’m spot on.”

She narrowed her eyes and studied him. He instantly didn’t like it. Normally, to even get her to notice him was a blessing but this…examination made him uncomfortable and it didn’t take him long to realize that this must be how she felt when he did it to her.

He sighed. “Fine, Summers, I hate you, too. Are you happy now?”

“I don’t think you do. Not anymore.” She bit her lip, thinking and it didn’t take him long to realize that she was debating whether to continue her thought.

“Slayer?”

“You don’t kiss me like you hate me,” she said quickly and quietly.

His eyes widened, surprised that she went through with it. He had no choice but to respond. “Same could be said for you, pet.”

“I suppose that’s true,” she agreed. She sighed and she was already tired of sighing. “Could you just not say anything that you would usually say right now? I just don’t think I could handle it.”

“Fair enough.”

“Really? No hard time?” Her pleasure at this made him smile.

“I’m always up for trying something new,” he told her with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

“Then I have an idea,” Buffy said, smiling that beautiful smile of hers that made him want to do anything she asked. She grabbed his hand and led him to the staircase. He could do nothing but follow.

******************************************

“If anyone ever found about this, I’d be the laughing stock of the demon community.”

“What do you mean you would be?”

“Funny, luv. Very funny.”

“It’s just a board game, Spike. It’s not like I’m looking for us to paint each other’s nails.”

He looked at his nails and made a face that suggested he was considering it.

Instead he said, “Exactly, it’s a board game, you’re the Slayer and I’m evil. Which of these things don’t bloody belong?”

He couldn’t play Monopoly. They didn’t even torment the sufferers in hell with that game. However, playing meant staying here for quite some time since it was never ending torture.

Her eyebrow went up in question. “You know, you keep talking all this ‘I’m evil’ talk and yet nothing you’ve done since you got that chip has been the least bit evil.”

“Shut your gob!”

She smiled at the look of horror on his face. She shrugged and said, “Just an observation. You help us, Spike, and you like it.”

“Take that back.”

“I most certainly will not.” She was studying him again and he shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “We’ll play any game you want if you answer me one question.”

“Any game?” He liked the sound of that.

“Within reason, of course.”

He didn’t like the sound of that but he went along with it. “Of course.” He swept his hand out in front of him for her to continue.

“Why do you help us?”

“Got nothing better to do.”

She rolled her eyes. “You could help demons. Face it, you help the white hats. So why? It’s not like we pay you…anymore.”

“Well, once you started tearing my money in half…” He chuckled at the memory. He was pissed that she did that but he admired the balls it took.

“Answer the question, Spike. Why do you help us?”

“First of all, let’s get a thing straight here right quick. I help you, not them.”

“Oh,” she breathed out.

He sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands in front of him, fingers entwined. He looked at her through his lashes as and she sat on the couch, waiting patiently for an answer. He figured the best thing to do would be to just tear the band-aid off and tell her. She’d never believe any bullshit reason he could come up with. As easily as he could break down all her excuses, she seemed to be doing the same to him tonight. He wasn’t so sure he liked the tables being turned.

“To be close to you,” he said so quickly she didn’t know if she heard him correctly but when he would not look at her, she knew that she had.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly and said, “So…pick a game.”

His head shot up and he looked at her. When she gave a small nod and looked away, he ducked his head and smiled. Sometimes she surprised the ever loving hell out of him.

He looked at the games on the table and spotting one, smiled. He got out of the chair and grabbed it, opening it before she could protest.

“Could be interesting,” he commented.

She tried not to smile but failed miserably until one thought occurred to her. “You need to change because…no. Just no.”

“A house full of lovely ladies has some clothes for me?”

“I think Riley left a pair of pants and a shirt here.”

“Sod it, we’ll play Monopoly. I’m not wearing that blighter’s clothes.”

“Fine, don’t put on his clothes, don’t play any game and just leave. Way to be a brat and spoil the night, Spike.”

“Spoil the night, huh? I told you, Slayer, once you have me around and you get used to me, you wouldn’t be able to – “

“Don’t misunderstand me,” she began, a wry smile in place, “We made a deal.”

“That we did,” he agreed.

“And I like to keep my word.”

“As do I.”

“Good to know,” she mumbled as he grabbed the mat from the box and shook it out, lying it on the floor. She flicked the dial with her finger.

Right food red.

Could be interesting, indeed.

************************

Buffy couldn’t remember the last time she laughed this hard. She actually had tears rolling down her cheeks and for the first time in weeks, it wasn’t due to anything bad.

Or maybe it was. It depended on how you looked at the current situation.

“You’re the bloody Slayer, luv! This should be a walk in the park.”

“Look, Spike, I am bendy but I am not that bendy.”

Spike groaned at the thought and he heard her apologize for resting her weight on him. He wanted to laugh and tell her that all 90 pounds of her was nothing but he was enjoying the feeling of her so close to him that he didn’t dare say anything that she may take the wrong way.

“You’re in the way. It’s not possible to get my hand there.”

“So, are you telling me that you’re quitting?”

“No!” she answered quickly. “I just need to think of a solution.”

“Yes, Twister – the game of wits as it’s usually called.”

“Are you mocking me?” she asked but he could practically hear the smile in her voice.

“Slightly.”

“Well, as long as it’s only slightly,” she told him.

About fifteen minutes prior when there seemed to be another impossible move to do, he had asked her if she were quitting and she had really thought about it. But when he started to tease her for not being able to finish a simple game of Twister, she had to think of something to do and when she couldn’t, he, of course, did. He challenged her to a blind bet, knowing that the possibility of losing both Twister and a bet would get her going. And he was right and she knew he was playing her but tonight it didn’t bother her. It was all in good fun – she hoped. She didn’t know how smart it was to go into a bet blind with Spike but she also knew he valued his unlife so he wouldn’t ask for anything too outrageous if she lost.

Which she so didn’t plan on doing. Until now when left hand blue seemed an impossibility.

“Slayer, we don’t have all night.”

“Why? Are you busy doing nothing because you can’t even scare candy from a baby without a splitting headache?”

“Hey, now, no need to get nasty just ‘cause you’re losing.”

“I am not losing,” she ground out.

“I’ll tell you what, luv. I’ll let you get up and move under me to get to where you need to go under one condition.”

“Oh, this should be good,” Buffy mumbled.

“I want a massage.”

She laughed and said, “You want me to buy you a massage? Aren’t we the pampered vamp.”

“No, I want you to give me a massage.”

He heard her heart begin to race and he smiled.

“No! Absolutely not.”

“Then I guess you give up.”

It was the self-satisfaction in his voice that really pissed her off. She sighed angrily and used his back to push herself up.

“You’re going to have to lift your body up so I can fit under you.”

He turned to look at her, the smirk she knew would be there in place.

“Just do it,” she told him, the tone of her voice making sure that he stayed quiet. A look was one thing – she was getting used to those but words right now could be very bad and she wasn’t exactly sure who they would be bad for.

“Remember to watch those feet, luv. Don’t even think about moving them.”

She was convinced he was just about the biggest jerk she had ever come across but to be sure, she looked down, pleased that her left foot was on the yellow and right on the blue. She slowly moved under Spike and put her hand on the blue spot. She moved her right hand to try and hit the yellow spot it was supposed to be on. This was becoming a more rigorous workout then what Giles put her through. She wiggled to get more comfortable and to give her arms a little more space.

“Slayer?”

“I’m almost there. I have to cross my arms and I really think I’m going to be feeling this in the morning!”

She wiggled again and Spike bit his lip so hard he drew blood. He didn’t think she was aware of what she was doing but she would be soon enough if she kept rubbing up against him.

“Slayer – “

“Jesus, Spike, give me one second. I’m like a human pretzel right now!”

And more wiggling and he couldn’t bite his tongue anymore. “Buffy!”

She instantly stopped when he yelled her name. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Your ass.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Your ass is what’s wrong.”

“Um, I honestly have no idea how to respond to that,” she stated, genuinely confused.

He sighed. “You’ve taken to rubbing your ass into an area that responds quite well to –“

“Oh my god!” she yelped and fell down to the floor.

He chuckled to himself at her reaction. “I just can’t be having…” He trailed off and then added, “I thought I should tell you before you were…surprised.”

“I had no idea. I didn’t even think that – “

“Neither did I, to tell you the truth.”

“So, are you telling me you quit?” she asked, suddenly liking the shift in power.

“I never said any such thing!”

“But, Spike, are you sure you can handle it?” she asked, using her most faux innocent voice she could muster. “I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything.”

He huffed, kicking himself for even saying anything. He should have just let his hard-on poke her in the ass. That would have knocked her down good and proper.

“Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” She turned her head to look at him, slowly rising her body and moving back to where she needed to be. “Just a minute ago, you were having a little problem with us like this.”

Spike had to admit that he was impressed with his self-control at the present. He never would have thought he had it in him. Not like this. Not with her now purposefully trying to get a rise out him, pun fully intended. If she wanted to play, he would play.

And he would win.

“You just do what you need to do, pet, and I’ll wait until you’re finished.”

She turned back to face the mat and put her hands where they were supposed to be. She could feel him lingering above her. He was being sure to not put his body on hers and she wondered if that was for his benefit or her own. She knew she probably shouldn’t tease him but she very rarely had the upper hand when it came to these sorts of situations with him.

When she announced that she was all set, Spike didn’t move or say anything. They stayed in their positions for a good minute before Spike moved closer to her. She felt too aware of him suddenly. Too aware of his breath tickling her ear, his chest against her back, the erection that was lightly pressing into her backside. She could feel the light sweat break out on her forehead and she was beginning to wonder just how long she could pretend to do this. It was one thing when she was on top but in this current position, they were far more intimate then she had planned on being during the game.

“Where’s the dial?” he asked, his voice so husky and low that she had to physically stop herself from moaning when the rumble of his chest vibrated into her body.

She cleared her throat. “I think it’s…it’s behind us.”

“Why’d you put it there? I can’t reach it.”

“I guess,” she began, feeling more winded as the conversation went on, “you’ll have to move to get it.”

“Cheeky little bird,” he mumbled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Spike.” Even though she knew exactly what he was talking about.

She took a few deep breaths and she knew Spike was very perceptive to what was going on with her. She was surprised he wasn’t making fun of her already but he held his tongue and said nothing. He pressed into her a little more and she gulped when she felt just how much this was affecting him. He was a much better actor than she ever thought he could be.

Buffy was starting to think that she was the only one in this little game that was nervous about what was happening. And what was happening? Nothing she told herself. Absolutely nothing. Just ignore him. She had to say it over and over again in her head. She had to just ignore everything that her body was responding to. Everything her body shouldn’t be responding to. The way she didn’t feel at all suffocated by his body pressing into hers like she sometimes could with Riley. The way he seemed to mold right into her and the visions of what that would be like without all the clothes. But most of all what she had to ignore was his breathing. Every time he exhaled, his breath would be a welcome relief of coolness against her overheated skin. And that was dangerous because the feeling it evoked in her and through her body was making her crazy with want.

“You feeling all right, Slayer?” he asked and it took her a minute to realize he actually said it out loud, that it wasn’t in her head. It was merely that his lips were right against her ear and his voice was just right there and she found herself having trouble breathing again. Her arms were beginning to shake and she tried to convince herself that it was because she had been in the same position for too long but she knew better than that.

“I think I’m getting tired.”

Spike smiled, knowing he could without being caught and being accused of – who knows what she would accuse him of but he knew without her ever having to say a word that Twister was over.

“Let’s take breather, then, eh?”

“You want to stop?” she asked, her surprise evident.

“Yeah, I can’t reach the bloody thing and you look completely knackered.”

She thought for a minute. “So we’ll just stop and nobody wins nor loses? It’s just over?”

“I’m a little Twistered out myself. We’ll call it a draw.”

“We’re at a Twister impasse?”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Spike said with a laugh. He pushed himself up using the floor. He made sure to get a good look at her the way she was because he didn’t know if he would have the good fortune again.

“Thank god,” she said, with a huge sigh of relief. She collapsed onto the mat and rolled over. “I think I’ll barely be able to walk tomorrow. I should incorporate Twister into my training.”

She smiled at him and he returned it, continuing to stare at her. She felt her stomach flip and flop and she looked away.

“So what about the bet, then? Is that on hold, too?” she asked.

“Unless you want to admit defeat – “

“No, it was a mutual decision.”

“Right, so no, I have no doubt that there will be more opportunities in the future to continue with the bet.”

“You’re really going to let me just stop playing without any consequences?”

“Yes. Why is that so hard to believe?”

She laughed out loud and shook her head. “Have you met you? You don’t just let things go, Spike, especially when it comes to anything where I lose and you win.”

His eyebrow went up at that and he opened his mouth to speak when she cut him off. “Not that I’m saying that’s what happened. You’re the one who suggested we stop so, really…”

“I did, indeed.”

“Huh.”

“What?” he asked.

“I just can’t believe that you’re just going to let it go without saying anything.”

“Well, I figured saying that you seemed to have a lot of trouble concentrating once you were under me probably wouldn’t go over too well.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” she agreed, tightly.

“And I thought that if I mentioned the fact that your body is practically screaming some pretty dirty things right about now, that also wouldn’t go over too well.”

“You’ve got that right.” She could feel her blood rising to a boil. It was one thing to know she felt it but to think he knew…that was acknowledgement of her body betraying her.

“No, you’ve got that wrong.”

“No, wait, you’ve got that wrong. I don’t know what you think is going on but my body is perfectly fine.”

“No argument with that but…vampire, luv.”

“And?”

“And I know.”

“Know what?”

“Know exactly what’s going on with you. Just how much you were loving that game of ours.”

She smiled thinly and said, “You’re wearing my boyfriend’s clothes. It’s a natural reaction.”

Take that, Mr. Know-It-All, she thought and when she saw the look on his face, she instantly decided that was probably not the best thing to say to him. His mouth hardened and his jaw twitched which she knew meant bad news. The worst, though, was the look in his eyes. Now hardened against her but there was a fleeting moment where there was so much hurt in them that she actually wanted to apologize immediately after saying what she had.

She opened her mouth to say exactly that when he held out his hand to her. She looked at him in surprise and he just looked at her, no emotion on his face at all. Her mind automatically went to last week and she was reminded yet again that despite everything, Spike was there to lend a helping hand. And just like last week, that feeling of comfort swept through her but she didn’t feel uncomfortable like she had before. She accepted it because, really, what else could she do?

Buffy put her hand in his and before she could even get used to the feeling of his hand wrapped around hers, he yanked her up so hard she fell into him. His other hand immediately went to the small of her back and pressed her against him even tighter. She looked up at him and she shivered when she saw his eyes staring hard into hers.

“You thinking about that ponce now?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Yes.”

“Liar.”

Yes, she thought but didn’t say.

He let go of her hand and moved his hand to her neck and under her hair. She could barely catch her breath. Her heart was pounding in her ears and he was looking at her like he knew every little thing her body was doing. He pulled on her hair just enough to have her face lifted to his. She tried not to make any sound. She tried to calm herself down. She was trying everything and she had a feeling that she was just failing miserably.

“Still?” he asked and his voice was so low and she wanted to just tell him the truth.

“Yes,” she said instead.

“Bitch.”

“Asshole.”

“One of these days, Slayer, you and me are going to have a go and – “

“One of these days? Why delay the inevitable, Spike?” She paused for effect and said, “I’m sorry I forgot. You have to delay.”

“You’re just begging for it.”

“Never.”

His eyebrow shot up and licked his lips before saying, “I have ways, pet. I’d have you – “

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Spike! Shut up and show me already.”

She wasn’t sure who was more shocked. They both just looked at each other, wide-eyed and before she could back out of it or move away from him, his lips were on hers. It was a good thing that he was holding onto her so tightly or she may have fallen from the force. Her arms wrapped around him and pressed herself into him even more. She opened her mouth and let her tongue slip out to trace along his lips. He made a noise that made Buffy’s entire body turn to soup.

Buffy moved her mouth down to his neck, kissing him lightly on the way. His fingers dug into her back and she could feel the soft growl in his throat vibrate against her lips. She licked his skin slowly and smiled when she heard a soft humming come from him. She expected certain things but humming was not one of them. She took a deep breath and stopped what she was doing immediately. She pulled away from him and when she looked at him, she could see the disappointment all over his face.

“Take this off,” she demanded, pulling at the t-shirt.

He smiled and said, “I told you that you liked me naked.”

“Yup,” she agreed and thought it best to leave out the fact that it actually did smell like Riley. She felt like she should feel worse than she did but if tonight was about being honest with herself, she had to admit that she felt guiltier that she didn’t feel guilty enough. Riley was a good guy. A decent boyfriend. Caring. The All-American Boy. Alive.

But there was something missing. She knew it and she suspected he knew it if the Initiative coming to her house the other week was any indication. She needed someone that understood her situation. That accepted her for who – and what – she was. He needed someone to take care of and protect. She didn’t need or want either of those things and she knew he didn’t get what she needed.

Maybe someone that had been in her life this whole time that did. Maybe that someone was doing something wicked to her fingers with his mouth.

Maybe that someone made her feel more fire in her belly in five minutes than she had for the last year.

His hands went to the buttons on her pajama top. When she put her hands over his, he looked at her and said, “Let me.”

And she felt dizzy all over again and she wished she could explain it. She wished that she could justify letting Spike undress her in her living room but she couldn’t. And she didn’t want to. She just wanted him to do it.

She wanted to feel everything he was willing to give her; everything that she knew had been missing from her life lately.

When she felt the top slide off her shoulders and come rest at her bent elbows, she looked down to watch his finger move along the swell of her breast and dip into the cup of her bra.

“Not what I expected,” Spike commented.

“What? My bra?” she asked and she couldn’t believe she was having a conversation about her bra with Spike like this was a normal conversation she would have.

“I thought you’d be wearing something a little more frilly.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting – “

“Yeah, you were,” he interrupted. “Difference is, you know I don’t need it. It’s not about the bra, luv. And any wanker that needs more than just you, doesn’t deserve to have you.”

She placed both of her hands on the sides of his face and pulled him down to her. She kissed him as hard as he had kissed her, hoping that she was saying something without having to say it. When he pulled away and looked at her with confusion that she didn’t expect to see, she pointed to the floor and told him to lie down.

“Excuse me?” he asked, trying to hide the smile that was forming on his lips.

“You heard me. Lie down. On your stomach.”

Whatever confusion that had been lingering quickly went away and he suddenly looked like a kid in a candy store. He did as he was told and as he made himself comfortable his ears picked up the very distinct sound of cotton swishing. He didn’t dare look behind him for fear that she would put the kibosh on whatever game she was playing. He, thankfully, didn’t have to wait long as he felt her pajama bottoms hit him squarely on the head. He grabbed them, rolled them into a ball and put his head on it.

She walked over to him and placed a foot on each side of his body and sat down on his bum. He turned to look at her, eyebrow quirked as she expected it would be. She smiled and twirled her finger, telling him to turn back around.

“One illegal Twister move for one back rub,” she told him as she placed her palms on the small of his back and moved them up his spine to his neck.

He groaned at the feeling of her fingers working their magic. This was definitely something he could get used to. This was definitely a Buffy he could get used to, as well. He guessed that it had been nearly a full half an hour since her last insult and he considered that a victory. So was having a half-naked Slayer giving him a rub down. That certainly wasn’t an unpleasant experience. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good. Definitely not since they stuck that chip in his head and since he spent most of that year miserable, with Harmony, or both, tonight was like Christmas. And she seemed to agree. It took a bit of coaxing but she seemed onboard with what was happening between them. Hell, it was her idea to give him the massage – and to take off her pants. Yeah, he was feeling more than okay right about now.

“A bloke could get used to this.”

“I bet,” she answered and applied more pressure. “Weird night, right?”

“Understatement of the bloody century, luv.”

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed under her breath and continued to move her hands all over his back, occasionally scratching his skin lightly.

He sighed contentedly and closed his eyes, just basking in all this great Buffy attention. Who knew when it would happen again –

His eyes flew open and one word came to his mind over and over again: Bugger.

Sure, he felt fine. He was acting completely normal. But Buffy was not. And if there was one thing he knew it was that Buffy wasn’t the type to fling off her pants, as much as he wished she was. She also wouldn’t make sure to keep her side of a bet or an agreement between them if it didn’t benefit her directly so her straddling him in her panties wasn’t exactly Buffy-like. In fact, the only time she had acted like herself was when they were fighting the demon. After it exploded, it all got very weird and he should have known. He should have thought something was up when she caved and let him come to her house to shower. He should have known better when she told him that they were aware of the breaking and entering and using their shower and she did nothing to him. No punch in the nose, no kicking him out – nothing.

And if he were to sit down with a pad of paper and a pen and think of pros and cons on a Has the Slayer Gone Completely Off Her Rocker? list, the pros would far outweigh the cons.

God damn bloody Hellmouth, he thought. Why couldn’t one thing go the way he wanted it to? Why did everything have to be the bleeding underbelly and spells and all that rot?

Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe there was something in the demon blood and he just didn’t know about it. Maybe because he already knew how he felt about her, it didn’t affect him. No, that couldn’t be right because that would imply that Buffy had buried feelings for him and it brought it out of her which couldn’t be true.

Could it?

No, it couldn’t, he decided. He had to remember not to get his hopes up when trying to figure this out. Maybe it was another spell. He remembered all too well what that was like. He knew it was all kinds of wrong but he could do nothing to stop it. He was inside himself watching him and Buffy kiss and make wedding plans and fight about Angel and Dru. Inside, he knew it was off but the spell had made him believe that it was right.

“Slayer?” he asked, tentatively.

“Yes, Spike?” Her fingers went into his hair and she rubbed the back of his scalp and he didn’t want to continue speaking. He just wanted her to continue doing what she was doing. He felt her other hand poke him. “Did you want to say something or were you just moaning my name because I’m like the best back rubber in the world?”

That sobered Spike because that wasn’t Buffy.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as casually as he could.

“Um, I’m fine. Thanks for asking. How are you feeling?”

He heard it in her voice and he didn’t appreciate it. He was trying to be responsible and clear-headed for once and she was teasing.

“Fine.” He paused again and when she poked him for the second time, he turned to look at her. She lifted her body to move and he quickly flipped onto his back, grabbing her by the waist and made her sit. Her eyes widened at the feel of his erection against her but she said nothing. And she didn’t move.

Another check in the pro column, he thought.

“Look, Slayer, I think there’s something we need to talk about.”

Buffy rolled her eyes which confused Spike because that was very much a bitchy little thing for her to do. She didn’t say anything and looked at him, obviously waiting for him to continue.

“You remember last year when Red put us under that spell?”

“Yeah and?”

“And,” he continued, “do you remember what that was like?”

“How do you mean?”

“That you wanted to stop it but you couldn’t.”

“Sure,” she answered. “That’s sort of the deal with spells, isn’t it?”

He nodded and again said nothing. He heard her sigh and when he looked at her, he could see that she was about two seconds away from being extremely annoyed.

The only option he had was just to ask. And hope that she didn’t freak out.

“You…you don’t feel like that now, do you?” he asked, quietly.

She tilted her head and looked at him, her forehead creasing. He looked at her again and saw the realization of what he asked as soon as it came to her.

“You think because of this, that there’s something wrong with me?”

“Well, this isn’t exactly you.”

“Right because God forbid Buffy just forgets her troubles and tries to have some fun.”

“I am trying to be thoughtful and aware and whatever other bullocks you people think I don’t possess. I’m trying to make sure that there isn’t something else at work here so if anything happens, I can still be among the walking tomorrow.”

Buffy moved off of him and took the spot next to him on the rug. She moved onto her stomach and propped herself up on her forearms.

“I understand, Spike.”

“See, that’s weird! You’re not hitting me, you’re not insulting me …it’s like you were last year!”

“And I remember last year. I do. I remember everything that happened and how it was like I was trapped in myself, seeing us do all these things that just boggle the mind to this day and I can see from your perspective how this must all seem like that but I’m telling you, it’s not.” She took a deep breath and smiled. “How’s that for a run-on sentence, huh?”

“Don’t get cute with me. I’m trying to suss out some things here and you’re not making it very easy.”

“Suss this out, then, Spike. I just wanted to be, you know? I just wanted to have a good time. To not think about anything or wonder what the ramifications were going to be. I wanted to just do it and not think about it.”

He smirked and said, “And by ‘it’ you mean…?”

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“I have no plan,” she told him shaking her head. “I do know that I’m in my living room with you, half naked and not feeling too strange about it. I wish I could explain it but I’m telling you, I am thinking clearly and I am in control of my will.”

“And you’re sure?”

“You are this close from me smacking you. Stop annoying me.” She looked at him. “Is that better? Can we stop talking about spells and kissing last year and maybe start with kissing this year?”

His eyes went wide and he didn’t want to smile because he didn’t want to give away too much at once but he didn’t know how to not smile at that.

She leaned towards him and he backed away. Buffy sighed. “I thought we were good.”

“We are.”

“Good,” she said and moved toward him again. He sat up and rested his back against the couch. Buffy turned onto her side and put her head in her hand.

“You are something,” he said quietly as his eyes roamed over her body. She felt her skin grow hotter as each silent second went by. She didn’t understand what was going on. She thought he wanted this to happen. She thought he wanted the smoochies but apparently…

All she knew was that she couldn’t just lay there anymore, waiting for nothing to happen. She grabbed her pants where he had left them and stood up. She went to where they had thrown their shirts and picked those up, as well.

“Are you cleaning?” Spike asked, and she smiled a little at the confusion that tinted his voice. Good, she thought, now he knows how that feels.

“Well, you obviously don’t want to kiss me…or be near me in any way so I might as well. All I need is for any of them to come in here and see the Twister game out and wonder who I was twisting with and I know you don’t care about that but I – “

He was spinning her around and kissing her before she could even finish the thought to finish the sentence. She was becoming more and more impressed with this quiet stealth, although she had to admit that it did worry her. If he ever got the chip out, she would never see – or hear – him coming.

But she didn’t want to think about that. Hadn’t she just made a big deal of not thinking about any of this crap that exists in her life? She just wanted to be in the moment and the way his lips moved on hers and how his fingers massaged the small of her back made her never want to leave it.

“What do you want, Buffy?” Spike asked and her spine tingled at the hushed desperation in his voice.

“I…” she began and stopped. She moved her lips back to his and he kissed her for a too short second before moving away from her.

“What do you want?”

“I told you.”

“What do you want from me, Slayer? I’m not here to be your afternoon delight.”

“It’s night time.”

“The problem with you is you think you’re so fucking cute all the time.” He pushed her away. “I don’t need to be your distraction. You’ve got Captain Dozey for that.”

“So, what? You want to be my boyfriend, Spike? You want to hold hands and walk in the sunshine together and have a picnic?”

“I don’t need you mocking me, either.” He shook his head. “Why I thought for one minute that you weren’t a Lady Muck – “

“A what?” she asked, laughing.

He took the few steps back to her and stood within an inch of her body. “An uppity, conceited bitch.”

“Fuck you.”

His hands went to her shoulders and he backed her up against the wall. His right hand slid down her body, over her covered breast and then to the middle of her chest, continuing straight down until he rested on her stomach.

He leaned forward and licked where her neck and shoulder met and he inhaled deeply, knowing by the way her body tensed that he was succeeding in doing exactly what he wanted.

“You have never been in control here,” he told her. “You have never been in control of me.”

“I didn’t say – “

“But you think it. You think it every single day and every time we see each other. And you did tell me, Slayer. ‘You’re beneath me’, right?”

“I meant – “

“Oh, don’t change your story now because the page has turned. That’s not going to work.”

“You can’t do anything to me, Spike. Not with the chip.”

He smiled and shook his head. He raised his head and met her eyes. “You really shouldn’t be so worried about the chip.”

“If you think I care what you think or say to me, you’re so – “

“Right,” he finished for her, his voice a whisper on her skin. He let her go and said, “My clothes are dry by now. I’ll be going.”

“I think that would be a good thing.”

He smirked but didn’t say anything. He just nodded his head and walked out of the room. When she heard him going down the stairs, she slid down the wall to the floor.

How dare he say that she wasn’t in control? Of course she was in control. She was the Slayer. She was all about control. Especially this year. She’d been doing all that training!

She groaned. That really wasn’t going to win her any arguments. She rubbed her temples, trying to ward off the killer headache she could feel forming behind her eyes. No one person should be this on edge. She was annoyed, confused, and most definitely sexually frustrated. And the thing that aggravated her the most was that he knew she was all of those things and he was the cause of it.

But he raised a good question – one that she had been trying not to think about. What did she want from him? At first, he was a welcomed distraction from everything that had been happening. And she could lie to herself and say that it could be anyone with her right now and she’d feel better but she knew that wouldn’t be true. Spike was helping her, whether he knew it or not. Her friends, Riley, Dawn…they all wanted to talk about what was going on and they all wanted her to assure them that everything would be fine. She just didn’t have it in her anymore. They needed her take care of them when all she wanted was to have someone be there for her. To take her mind off of her troubles and not pressure her to do anything. And if that was selfish of her, well, so be it.

Spike was a pain in her ass, no doubt, but he also let her do her thing. He may talk about things that made her uncomfortable and he may have the uncanny knack of making her see truth that she didn’t want to see but she never felt pressure from him to be more or to be less. He took her as is and that was something that was a little foreign to her. That alone made her more uneasy than anything else.

Could she like him? Could she actually allow herself to fall for another vampire? It seemed like a monumentally stupid idea but she had the gut turning feeling that she already did like him.

He was beautiful; there was never any question of that. Even when he walked out clapping that first night they met, she remembered quite distinctly that she was a little let down that he turned out to be evil. But, really, the way he looked had nothing to do with what was going on with her feelings.

Sure, she was still angry with him after that so-called lesson the other week but he was only doing what she asked. Just because it wasn’t what she had expected didn’t mean it wasn’t what she wanted. He got her to think about things, to see certain things in a different light and tonight was no exception. The night may have turned into one where there was kissing and groping but it hadn’t started out that way. She wanted to relax, to take her mind off of things and she chose him to stay with her, to help her with that endeavor. The kisses were sort of just an added bonus.

Buffy was startled when she heard his voice from the hallway. She looked at him and he was wearing his own clothes again. Her stomach definitely approved so lying to herself that it was because he was wearing Riley’s clothes wasn’t going to work anytime soon.

“I’m leaving. See you around the ‘stones, yeah?”

She didn’t answer him. She pushed herself up off the ground and walked to him. She took his hand and led him to the stairs and stopped when she felt resistance as she started to climb. Buffy stood on the first step and looked at him looking at her in the most bewildered way. She gently kissed his lips and turned back around, not having to tug on his hand. He followed her willingly.

***********************************

Buffy opened the door to her room. She still hadn’t said a word to him and he didn’t say anything, either. Normally, that would worry her but this wasn’t a normal circumstance. She threw the clothes she had in her hand onto the floor. Now that she was up here, she didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t exactly a thought out plan on her part. She had simply been trying to stop him from leaving.

Spike noticed that she had cleaned since the last time he’d been here. The day Riley caught him sniffing her sweaters. And he definitely wouldn’t be telling her that story. Even the bed was made and there was the noticeable absence of her boyfriend’s scent. Fine by him but it did get him curious.

“Slayer?”

“Yeah?” she answered and her voice had a little tremble in it.

“We up here for a reason?”

“I thought…I thought if I brought you up here, you would stay.”

“You could’ve just asked.”

“You seemed mad at me downstairs and I – “

“I’m not mad, pet. I’m just not in the business of being used.”

“I wasn’t going to – “

“Look, I told you in the bathroom that I understood why you kissed me. And at that moment, that excuse was fine but now, it doesn’t fly. You want to go down this road with me, you’ll be honest with yourself.”

“I am.”

He shook his head and made a ticking sound with his tongue that disagreed with that statement.

“I am,” she said, more forcefully. “You want answers to questions that a) you haven’t asked and b) I’m not really sure that there are answers to. You say you want me and I want you but every time I try to initiate anything, you reject me. You’re starting to give me a complex!”

“I’m not rejecting you. I’m protecting myself. You might try it for a change.”

She slapped him. She didn’t even mean to and yet it happened before she could stop it. Her mouth dropped open in surprise and he rubbed his cheek.

“Ooh, did I strike a nerve?”

“Why are you being mean?”

“You just hit me, luv. I have every right to be mean.”

“I shouldn’t have hit you,” she said in way of an apology.

He shrugged. “It doesn’t smell like that idiot in here.”

Buffy’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Should it?”

“If he’d been around at all, it would.”

“The last time he was here was the night of the Queller.”

“And the bed?”

“Maybe in your illustrious crypt apartment you don’t change the sheets but in this house, we do. It’s called not being disgusting.”

He walked to the bed and sat on it. All he could smell was Tide and her. It was a delicious combination.

“What are you fishing for, Spike? Do you want me to say that it’s falling apart? That he isn’t really around anymore? That you’ve been more of a comfort to me than he has?”

“Actually…yeah, that’s exactly what I want you say.”

“We’re still together.”

“Yeah,” he huffed, “for now.”

“I care about him, despite what you think.”

“That’s why you led me up to your room and why you haven’t bothered to put any clothes on since you took them off? I’m convinced.”

She bent down and grabbed her robe, blushing. She quickly put it on and tied it. “Happy?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“You’re playing with me. God, I am so stupid!” Her fists clenched in aggravation and she growled a little which he had to admit was an incredible turn on.

“You know what I want from you, Spike?”

“This should be good.”

“I wanted a night to remember what it was like to be happy. To smile. And maybe the night didn’t start out that way, with hunting demons and all that but when you made me that cup of hot chocolate and then when we kissed in the bathroom, I knew everything was taking a turn. And not for the worse, either. And I was curious and thought you were curious, too. Then we play Twister and for a good half an hour, I don’t think about how my mom almost died, that my sister is a key to who knows what, that there isn’t some girl and or hell beast thing that could probably kill me with no problem what-so-ever and that my boyfriend isn’t off doing who knows what and bringing the military into my house. I just wanted to relax and I picked you, dummy! I wanted you here!”

There wasn’t much distance between them but she ran to the bed, pushed him back and kissed him. It didn’t take him long at all to reciprocate. His hands went into her hair and he pressed her lips tighter to his. His other hand went to the belt on her robe and untied it. His hand moved under the material and caressed her hip. She moaned at the feeling and automatically swiveled her hips against his leg.

Her hand went to his belt and she started to undo it when his hand stilled her.

“Let me,” she said, echoing his statement from earlier in the evening. And his hand lifted and she quickly undid the belt and the button of his jeans. Her hands went to his zipper but stopped when she heard him call her name.

“Are you sure you want this?”

Buffy was surprised by the naked emotion on his face. It was in those blue eyes that seemed to be begging her for something. Not to hurt him. Not to play with him. Not to be the next Dru. And she felt her heart clench and for the first time since Angel left, she felt certain of a man in her bed. This wasn’t a rebound like Parker. This wasn’t trying to be normal like Riley. And it certainly wasn’t like Angel. No one would ever touch that and she knew Spike wouldn’t even try. Spike would want this to be theirs and not a replica, not a replacement.

“I want you,” she said, stressing the last word, hoping he understood what she was saying because she really couldn’t say it any clearer.

And he must have believed her because he kissed her like she had never been kissed before. It was hard and soft and there was his tongue and his teeth and there was a low moaning that made her lips tingle and she thought that she may pass out from being on sensory overload.

His hands pulled her against him as tightly as he could and he could feel her warmth seeping through the robe and into him and it made him as hard as a rock. He couldn’t let her go; he didn’t want to let her go. He had waited too long, had put up with too much of her bullshit to stop now.

Spike moved his mouth from hers and trailed his lips along her jaw. He moved to her neck, slowly to make sure she was on board. He felt her pulse beat fast and steady beneath his lips but nothing that indicated that she was nervous or uncomfortable about where his mouth was. That made him smile a little until he heard Buffy stifle a giggle.

“Am I tickling you?”

“No, I was…it’s nothing.”

“When a bloke is doing some of his finest work and you laugh, he has every right to know. You wouldn’t want me to get a complex, would you now?”

“You know how when you’re making out with someone and they kiss your neck and there’s a little nibble here and there and it’s like the best thing?”

“Vampire, pet.”

“Exactly,” Buffy responded. “I know you’re being hesitant and, really, I appreciate it but I like the nibble and I just don’t know how to say ‘I like to be bitten’ to a vampire without having him bite me because I don’t like that kind of – “

Buffy shut up the second he took the tiniest bit of skin between his teeth and applied pressure. She couldn’t help the long sound of utter contentment that came from her. Spike moved down further and sucked at her neck.

“How do you not go all grrr?” she asked.

“Lots of concentration,” he told her with a laugh.

“And doing that and not being able to drink…that’s not hard?”

“Course it is but – “

“The chip, right.”

“How many times do I have to tell you tonight that the chip doesn’t matter? It’s there and I deal with it and that’s the end of that. I don’t want to talk about the bloody chip no more.”

“Okay, okay. I didn’t mean to – “

“Slayer, I already am drinking from you. Your scent, your sweat, your…” He trailed off as his hand traveled back over her hip and past her stomach to rest over her mound, his thumb brushing lightly over her clit. “It’s all I need.”

She mumbled a noise that made Spike smile because he liked this. He liked that he could get her to stop talking, he liked that she was turning to jelly in his hands and he liked having his hands in all sorts of places that just four hours ago would have gotten him staked once and for all.

“You know what I need?” she asked him, her breath ragged and hot.

“What’s that, luv?”

She flipped him onto his back and straddled him. Buffy bent down and traced his nipple with her tongue, biting it gently which made him buck against her.

“Tell me how this isn’t something I need?”

She looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest. “I was trying to shut you up.”

Only when she followed that with a wink did he relax. He never knew with her. He never knew if this was the moment that she would revert back to the girl with all the walls and the bitchier than thou attitude.

He stopped thinking and talking as she made her way further down his body, kissing his stomach, her fingers skimming his skin and driving him mad. Her hand moved to the button on his pants and she unbuttoned them swiftly and pulled the zipper. He heard her breath catch and her heart speed up and he peered down at her to see her reaction.

“I guess you don’t wear boxers.”

“Or briefs,” he said.

“Could warn a girl.”

“More fun this way, don’t you think?”

“You obviously think so.”

He saw her begin to move her head down and he touched her face, making her stop. He reached down for her arm and pulled it gently. She looked at him, obviously confused but slid back up his body, resting on top of him with her face inches away from his own.

“Something wrong?” she asked and he frowned at the tone of her voice. There was something there that was very vulnerable and something he suspected many people never got to hear.

Except he had. A few times now.

“Nothing wrong, pet.”

“Okay, then,” she said and went to move back down but he halted her. “This is weird, Spike.”

He kissed her; slow at first until it built up like it seemed to do with them. The more it built, the noisier it got and she found she really liked it. She liked the wetness of their kiss, the smacking of their lips, the sucking in of air. It made her skin hum all over and the robe she had on was becoming too heavy, making her skin too sensitive as it moved over her when she moved over him.

He put his lips to her ear and bit the lobe just a little and said, “Don’t think I don’t want everything there is to have of you, Slayer. But the only thing I want right now is to be inside of you.”

She moved her head away and looked at him with her eyes wide and her heart beating wildly. She nodded, feeling dumb doing so but she didn’t even want to attempt to say anything. She knew that lump in her throat, as well as the flopping of her stomach. And she knew she was definitely in trouble now.

She rolled off of him and wiggled out of her robe. She bowed her back and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. Buffy looked at Spike when he made a noise of satisfaction and smiled at him.

“Told you I was bendy.”

Spike got up from the bed and stood in front of her. He leaned forward and put his hands on her hips. “Lift.”

And she did and he slowly removed her underwear. He threw them behind him, making a mental note to nick them for a souvenir. To have proof that this actually happened. She lifted one foot and hooked her toe into the waistband of his jeans. She tugged lightly and he smirked as he pulled them down and kicked them to the side.

He kept her leg in his hand as he bent down to her. He licked along her inner thigh until he came to where he most wanted to be. He inhaled deeply and had to shake his head to control the urge. There was plenty of time for that, like he had told her. He swept a finger over her which only made the anticipation of being there, in her warmth, even sweeter.

He licked her belly up to the space between her breasts. His hand went to one and pinched her nipple. She bucked against him and he grinned, knowingly.

Spike finally came face to face with her and he leaned down to place his lips on hers. Her hands went to his hair and she pressed him closer to her, opening her mouth and inviting him in. And as much as he loved a good row with her, he thought the dance their tongues were doing was infinitely better. She moved her mouth to his ear and bit on the lobe, moving down his neck until she got to the spot she wanted. She sucked in the skin and bit down, just enough to get his attention.

And he got hers when he adjusted his hips and slid into her. Her mouth released his skin and she gasped. She wasn’t sure what surprised her more, him suddenly being inside her or the way he felt once he got there. He moved in and out of her so slowly that she thought she would go crazy. She wanted to tell him to go faster, to not hold back with her and she was well aware of why he wasn’t.

She knew that he was waiting for her to ask.

What he didn’t know about her was that she could take it as long as he wanted to give it and she’d just lay back and enjoy.

Spike knew she ran hotter than most, he could feel it every time he was around her but to be in her, to experience it all around him, he had to be sure to stay in control. He moved in and out of her, in long, deep strokes that felt like it was hitting every nerve possible. He kept his hips pressed to hers and when they would move, there was a wonderful friction on her clit that made it very difficult not to just break down and beg. And the little noises she was making seemed to go right through his body and straight to his cock, forcing him to fight from doing what he really wanted to do.

“Spike?” she asked, breathless, and he thought his name never sounded so good.

“Yeah?”

“Faster wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Anything else, luv?”

“I’m not against harder…”

“Whatever I can do for you to make this experience as enjoyable as possible.”

“Done,” she said, quickly, not intending to do so at all.

“And we haven’t even started,” he told her and she shivered a little, loving how he spoke softly into her ear.

He lifted his upper body off hers and balanced his weight on his arms. She turned her head and kissed the sensitive skin of his inner wrist. It was such a small thing to do but Spike couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by it. He fell back on top of her, making sure not to crush her and kissed her. His hands went to her hair and his teeth bit her lips and she moaned at the sudden feeling of urgency. Her hands went to his back, her fingernails digging into his skin. He smiled into their kiss and moved his hips faster and faster, deeper and deeper and her heart began to race and he knew it wouldn’t be long.

His pelvic bone bumped her clit every time he reentered her and she wrapped her legs around his, curling her toes, feeling it build inside her. She grabbed his ass and urged him to move harder and faster before making him still completely and taking over. She rolled her hips, rubbing her clit against him with more and more force until she finally felt it begin to wash over her. Her toes dug into his calves, her fingers into his cheeks, pushing him so hard, outside and inside, until he couldn’t go any further. His eyes rolled back in his head at the feeling of all her muscles tightening around him, begging him to come with her. And he allowed himself to feel it, knowing it wouldn’t take him long to recover.

Spike whispered her name into her neck and broke free from her grasp on him, moving his hips quickly. As his own orgasm approached, he felt his face begin to change and he tried to fight it, knowing there was no way he would be able to. Not this time.

“It’s okay,” he heard her tell him softly and he looked down to see her watching him and he came, his face changing. His head bowed, putting his forehead on her shoulder. Her hand went to the back of his head and she ran her fingers through his hair until he stopped moving. He turned his head and rested it on her shoulder. She could feel his face shift back against her skin and she moved her fingers to his face, lightly stroking his cheek.

Buffy felt like her body was humming and there were little after shocks that kept running through her, making her shiver. She continued to stroke the back of his head and his shoulders over and over, needing to keep touching him. He sighed contentedly, kissing her neck softly. He had done a lot of fantasizing about this and he was quite content that it didn’t go any of the ways he had ever imagined.

“That was…” and she let out a deep breath, not finishing her sentence.

He smiled, grateful that she didn’t mention the vamping. “Give me five minutes and there’s that and then some.”

“That sounds really great but…I’m exhausted. I just want to sleep.”

“Oh,” he replied, his face falling. He moved away from her, hating to leave her heat. He rolled onto the bed and was about to sit up when she placed a hand on his chest, stopping him.

“Where are you going?”

“You’ve said what you had to, Slayer. I get it.”

“You don’t get anything, Spike. It’s been a roller-coaster of a night. I would like to just rest for a little bit.”

“So you said.”

“With you, you idiot. Jeez!”

When Spike looked at her and saw the smile on her lips and a look in her eye that said that she was serious, that she wanted him to stay, he relaxed.

“Good?” she asked and he nodded. “So let’s just rest and then, you know, more.”

“More?” he repeated, allowing a little bit of hope to slip in there.

“Oh, yeah,” she answered with a laugh.

***************************************************

Buffy collapsed on top of him, breathing heavy, her hair covering his face. Her hot breath warmed his skin and he rubbed the small of her back gently as she came down. He looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table and grinned. Time certainly did fly by when one was having a good time.

She rolled off of him and grabbed her robe. He made a noise of protest and she laughed a little as she got up and went to the window and drew the shade and curtains.

“Wouldn’t want you to burn up.”

“That’s certainly a different tune.”

She shrugged. “I can’t afford new sheets.”

He smirked, shaking his head. “It’s almost refreshing how a good lay doesn’t make you less of a bitch.”

“It’s a natural born talent,” she told him as she shrugged out of her robe and climbed into the bed again.

She was surprised by their easy-going jibes but she liked it. She might not have understood a thing that had happened tonight but she wasn’t going to start denying that it happened. She felt him move closer to her and she shivered when he began to run the tips of his fingers up and down her spine.

“Tired, pet?”

“You have officially worn me out. I can honestly say I never thought that would happen.”

“Well, glad to be the bloke that broke the wild horse.”

She elbowed him gently and he laughed. Buffy had decided that she really liked his laugh. Maybe because he never allowed himself to do so in their presence but when he did, it meant something. It conveyed just how happy he was. It made her skin tingle.

“So…” he began.

She smiled. “So…”

“What now?”

“How do you mean?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You know how I mean. Don’t start pretending like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“Who knew you’d be such a girl?”

“It’s not funny, Slayer. I’m not joking around here.”

“Oh-kay,” she said, slowly. “What kind of answers are you looking for?”

“What kind of question is that?” Spike asked, starting to get angry. “I want the truth. I’m not looking for any one thing. I want you to tell me what happens now.”

“We get up in the morning and we start another day. I’m sorry but I’m not seeing the big here.”

“Why am I not surprised by that?”

“Why are you getting so annoyed?”

“Because you won’t give me a bloody answer!”

“Ask the right bloody question!”

“Fine, pet, what are you going to tell your little gang?”

“I have to tell them, why?”

“I suppose you don’t have to tell them. But I just might.”

“And why would you do that, Spike?”

“Because! I won’t let you keep me a dark, dirty secret. You can forget that right now.”

“I’m not saying that’s what I’m going to do. Why do you assume the worst of me?”

Spike faltered, not knowing how to answer that. Before he got the chance to, Buffy started talking again.

“Look, this situation is…strange – “

“Wasn’t strange with Angel,” he mumbled.

Buffy sighed. “Yes, it was. No one was happy about that situation.”

“But they accepted him.”

“Well, yeah, he did a lot of good and…you know what? I don’t want to talk about Angel right now.” Buffy opened her eyes and stared at her bedroom wall. She knew what she wanted to say to him, she just feared that she wouldn’t say it correctly and she knew she only had the one shot. “I don’t consider you a dirty secret nor do I want to keep you as one.” She sighed and he prodded her to continue. “But I don’t want to run out and tell them.”

She heard him give a sigh of his own and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to block out how upset his sad sigh made her.

“If we decide to try this – “

“Try it, pet? We’re already in the thick of it, don’t you think?”

“I meant in a more long-term way, Spike.”

“Long term?”

“Short term if you keep bugging me.” She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder and she smiled at him. “I just want to see how it goes first. I don’t see the point in telling them, getting everyone all over our backs about it, if nothing comes of it.”

Spike thought about that and he nodded. “I see what you’re saying.”

“Really? You’re not just agreeing with me so that you can shag me some more?”

“There’s that, of course, but – “

She laughed and swatted at him playfully before turning back around to face the wall.

“What about Soldier Boy?”

She exhaled a heavy breath. “It’s something I will be dealing with on my own.”

“Don’t get all excited. I wouldn’t go telling him. I might want to but I wouldn’t.”

“Good because he’ll stake first and ask questions later.”

“I’m not afraid of that git.”

“I know you say it’s not about the chip but in this instance? It’s totally about the chip.”

Spike didn’t want to agree so he changed the subject. “Slayer?”

“Mmm?”

“I want – can you turn around? I don’t fancy telling your back.”

Buffy turned to face him. “Happy?”

“Could you at least open your eyes and look at me?”

“I’m tired,” she whined, playfully. “I can still hear you.”

He smirked, shaking his head. She would never change.

“I enjoyed dancing with you, pet.”

Buffy opened her eyes and smiled.



The End