“What do you mean she is gone? Where is she gone?”

A panicked look passed over Willow’s face, “I don’t know, Giles. We were talking one minute and the next—POOF—she was gone. All that was left was some kind of shadowed powder. I don’t know what happened!”

A flash of light knocked both Willow and Giles backwards, “Well, kid, let me help you with that explanation, hmm?” Whistler smiled from ear to ear, rocking back and forth on his heels.

Giles straightened his glasses and righted his position, “What kind of explanation, Whistler?”

Plopping down on the couch and kicking his legs up to rest on the coffee table, “Well, ya see, it’s like this: Your Buffy was just talking and talking and talking away about nothing of use and nothing of interest when a little witch in an alternate universe made a simple little spell come alive. You see, their Buffy died saving the world, a hero’s destiny as you know, but the Willow in that universe couldn’t bear that her best friend had been taken from her that early.

“So she did a little spell and brought her back to life. Only, the Buffy that was supposed to show back up is gone for good. She died a true hero’s death that can never be redone for any cost. So, the universe took yours and put her in the other’s place.” Pausing to assess the situation, Whistler saw what he expected to. Despair, regret, heartache, pain, all the signs that were to be there when you have just heard of a friend being taken from you.

Finally, Giles was the first to speak after the horrifying news had been delivered, “So how do we go about getting our Buffy back? Surely there has to be a way to undo the transfer. Just because that Buffy has been killed to no return does not mean that we cannot get our Buffy back.”

“Actually it does. Once a transfer has been done, there is no transferring back. What’s done is done,” Mouths opened to protest but before they could speak Whistler continued, “But—and this is a big but—there is a way to get a Buffy back. She just wouldn’t be the one that you are used to. She’s from an alternate universe that is very different from this one. And as a part of that, that means she is different. She won’t be your Buffy.”

Willow finally spoke up, “You keep saying that. You keep saying that she won’t be our Buffy. We got that the first time you said it.”

“That is precisely what I’m trying to make sure you understand. She won’t be the Buffy that does what you tell her when you tell her. She won’t be the Buffy that has gone through the same things that this universe’s has. She will be a completely different person. Do you understand this?”

Giles stepped closer, “What about the universe she is in? You say that once there is no Buffy there is no going back, what about her universe? Won’t it need her?”

“This Buffy isn’t needed in her world any more. She isn’t the only Slayer, she has no friends, no love, to laugh, nothing. She isn’t needed there. If you decide that you want this Buffy to come in the place of yours, there will be no turning back. There will be no going back to the store to pick out one that better suits you. This is the only one that can possibly come here. Take some time and decide. I’ll wait.” Standing up, Whistler made his way to the kitchen, leaving them with their thoughts.

“We have to do it Giles. We need a Buffy. A-and you heard him, her universe doesn’t need her. Ours does.” Willow looked at him with her resolve face that has never done her wrong.

Trying to resist, Giles protested, “But if what he said was true, that she is indeed a different Buffy, are we sure that we can handle that. Are we sure that we are prepared to deal with the ramifications that come with a new Buffy that we are not accustomed to?”

Without saying a word, Willow and Giles shared a look, knowing the answer that they needed. Giles gave a short nod and looked to the kitchen, “Whistler? We’ve come to a decision.”

Trotting back in eating a sandwich, he plopped back down in his same spot as before, “Alright, chief. What’s it going to be?”

Taking a deep breath, he simply nodded to himself, “Make the transfer.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Bunching his face in a faux hurtful expression, Whistler put his hand on his chest, “Why, Buff, I am so hurt by that. Is that how you greet a friend?”

Buffy looked at Whistler with a glare. Walking the rest of the way into her apartment and slamming the door shut, she dropped her bag and walked passed him, “We’re not friends. You’re the annoying little bug in my ear every time someone wants something in the universe from me,” stopping in the kitchen she poured herself a glass of water and turned to look at him. Leaning up against the counter, she glared him in the eyes, “So. Who wants what from me now?”

Smiling, Whistler plopped down on the couch, “How would you like to have a new life?”

Pausing mid swallow, she looked at him in confusion, “What do you mean? What new life?”

“You’re right. I’m here because someone needs you, but it’s not in this universe. It’s in an alternate one. One where you have never experienced anything like you have here. You get a life where you get a brand new chance that hasn’t been ruined by others.”

Disbelief showing all over her face, “Yeah. What’s supposed to stop me from repeating history if I don’t have a clue about what I’m doing? How am I supposed to have a whole new life when I don’t know what to avoid?”

“First, this universe is completely different. In order for the same things to happen, there has to be the same set of guidelines. Every thing is different. The people are different, the atmosphere is different, and the life style is different. You will be free of this place forever. You will never come back here. You will never have to be reminded of what you lost here. You will never have to look into the darkness at night in your bedroom and think, ‘What has my life come to?’ You will never have to do any of that again.”

Feeling as if she were going to fall down, Buffy moved herself quickly to the couch beside Whistler. Never have to do this again? Any of it? She would never have to feel lonely again? She would never feel the despair that comes with waking up in the morning and the coldness that comes with falling asleep each night? Could she do that? Could she just move on from the life that she has now? Could she really just forget everything that happened? Would she want to?

Knowing that she couldn’t just have a clean slate she looked him in the eyes, “What about my memories? What about things that I don’t want to just up and leave behind? I know this life hasn’t been the greatest but there are some things that I don’t want to forget. There are some things I have worked too hard for to just let go.”

Wincing a bit, “See, this is where it gets a bit tricky, kid. See, the Powers aren’t all that heartless. They know that there are things that you have earned. Things you’ve fought for. So they’ve made a deal. You get to keep whatever you want, how you want it, when you transfer.”

Bunching her eyebrows together, “Anything I want? Anything? Doesn’t matter what it is? I can have it?”

Opening his hands wide apart, “Anything. No rules. No restrictions.”

“I need to think,” standing; Buffy left the living room for her bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. Not needing to wait for Whistler’s reply, she knew he would be there when she was done.

Could she do this? Should she? What would be the consequences if I make this decision? On the one hand, she could be free of this place. She could start a whole new life. No one there would know her and no one would know her life. They wouldn’t know the trials she has gone through. No one in this world would have betrayed her. On the other, she would be a stranger in someone else’s life. But my God if it wasn’t tempting.

Sighing, she put her face in her hands and breathed deep. Running her hands through her hair. She knew there was only one way to end this. She stood and walked back into the living room

“Okay. I want my memory. I want to know what I know now. Nothing changes that for anything. No spells, no memory damages, no brain damage can change it.”

“Done.”

Gasping in disbelief, “Just like that?”

Putting his hand atop hers on her knee, “Just like that. I told you. These are your rules. These are your guidelines. The ball is your court.”

“I’ll go, but first I have a few more things I want.”

Walking into his living room, Giles was startled to see Whistler sitting on his couch. Gasping and clasping his chest, “Good God man! You must stop doing that! You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

Smirking, “It’s just too easy to scare you, old man. You should work on that. You live on the hellmouth; you would have figured that you would have gotten over that by now.”

“Nevertheless, what are you doing here?”

Standing, “I’ve come to bring you your replacement. She has agreed to transfer to this universe. She’s coming tonight. Gather your buds and whatnot. You’ll meet her at the park at midnight.”

And with that he was gone.

______________________________


Buffy turned at the sound of the door, “Whistler.”

“Hello, dear. I’ve just come from the other universe. I told them we would all meet at the park at midnight,” grinning to her he opened her refrigerator and started digging through her fruits.

“And they agreed? Just like that?”

After biting into a pear, “Well, I didn’t exactly stick around for that part of the conversation. I just said what I needed to say then got out of there. No sense in leaving time for him to just ruin it all. They will find out things all in good time. That I’ll leave up to you.”

Cocking her head to the side, “What do you mean they’ll learn? Learn what?”

“Well, sweet pea, it’s up to you whether or not you want them to know about you. It’s all at your discretion if you want them to know about your life here, about what you’ve lived through, about who you are. I’ve told them nothing of that.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but why haven’t you? I thought that would have been the first thing they would have wanted to know?” Buffy sat down at the kitchen table, staring at Whistler as he continued to eat fruit after fruit from her refrigerator.

“It wasn’t my place. This is your life. I have no business making the decisions for you. I told you we would play this by your book. That includes not butting in where I’m not suppose to. I know my limits,” after seeing her surprised look he continued, “Well I mean, I know them. Some times I may not follow them because they are just too constricting, but you know, hey! I do good some times!”
Smiling and shaking her head at him, “You’re right. You do fine some times. Other times, I’m not so sure you know what those boundaries are as so much as you pretend that you have some type of idea where they are drawn.”

Stopping mid-bite, “I take offence to that.”

“Shocker there. So, what time is it there?”

“It’s almost midnight. Are you ready?”

Sighing and taking a look around her apartment, she took in every moment that she had ever spent there. Remembering all the things that she could about how her life was here. There would never be a chance to see it and live it again. She would have a new life, one she could be happy in. Giving a sad smile to the room, she turned back to him, “Yeah, I’m good to go.”

______________________________


“They aren’t gonna show. This was all some plot by the Powers that Be to get back at us for some thing. To mess with us, to show us who the boss is. I know it. They aren’t gonna show,” Xander walked a circle around the whole group as Willow, Tara, Giles, and Anya watched in amusement.

They all knew how he was. He was impatient and irrational. While, Whistler was running a bit close to the clock, there was no need to think that they wouldn’t show. And as if on cue, a bright puff of smoke surrounded them. Almost as quickly as it had arrived, the smoke settled and they could clearly see Whistler and Buffy staring at them.

Giles was the first to speak of them all, “My God. You resemble her exactly, only you look a bit older. This is uncanny. I have never seen anything like this before. Do you know who we are?”

Buffy smiled in amusement, “Well, I mean, I’m a different Buffy, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid or I’ve lost my memory, Giles. Of course I know who you all are. How could I not?”

Willow tried to hold her tears in as Tara comforted her with a gentle rubbing on her back, “I’m sorry I’m getting so emotional. It’s just, really good to see some form of you Buff. I’m just acting crazy right now.”

Buffy smiled at her innocence, “Yeah, but it’s okay. I can understand where you’re coming from. Just so you know that I’m not the same Buffy. I haven’t lived any of this life. Aside from the fact that Whistler told me that we were meeting at the park, I have no idea where this is. I’ve never been here before.”

Tara spoke up intrigued, “Really? You aren’t living in Sunnydale, California in your universe? I didn’t know that they could very so much between dimensions.”

“Of course they can,” Everyone pivoted their heads towards Anya, “What? I’m eleven hundred years old. I’ve been around the block a few times and I’m not just talking about all the men and women I’ve slept with, while that number is very large as well. I know things. No one universe can be exactly like another. If they were then there wouldn’t be a point to having an alternate one now would there?”

While someone was trying to come up with some form of response to her logic, the peroxide blonde that got on every one’s nerves crashed their meeting. Xander jumped forward, “Spike! What are you doing here?”

Annoyed by the whelp’s stupid question, “What does it bloody well look like I’m doing out here? I’m patrolling you nit. My question is, why are you lot having yourself a little pow wow in the middle of the night at the bloody park of all places? Don’t you think the Bronze would be a better place for this kind of shenanigans?”

When Spike’s eyes landed on Buffy’s he could tell instantly something was different. He smelled magic all around the group, and the fact that the Powers’ little troll of an errand boy was standing directing next to the slayer certainly made things feel wrong, “Buffy?”

Smiling, she raised a hand to waive at him, “Hi.”

Shaking his head before clearing his throat, he thought he must be imagining things, “Right, well, you want to go patrol, slayer? Work off some tension that is obviously thick in this area right now?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she looked from Spike to Whistler and back again, “Sure, don’t see why not. But first can I ask you some thing?”

Tilting his head to the side, “Sure. I suppose so. What’s got your mind a ticking?”

“Just something small I guess, but, who are you?”

Buffy began feeling uncomfortable under the shocked stares coming from the group around her. What was so shocking that she didn’t know whom this man was? Was he her lover? Her best friend perhaps? Whistler hadn’t mentioned any possibility of the other Buffy having a companion. Her senses screamed vampire and the fact that none of the other people of the group weren’t jumping with stakes ready was the only reason she kept her cool.

Spike sputtered and tried to find the right response, “You—I’m—Who are you?”

“I’m Buffy,” she gave with the sound of disbelief in her voice, “I mean, you said my name when you first got here. You know who I am. My question is: seriously, who are you? You’re a vamp. No one here is jumping at you with stakes so I’m assuming you’re apart of this group, but then again you weren’t here when we started this little meeting so that makes me think that maybe you aren’t a part of the group which just makes my head hurt even more.”

“Name’s Spike. And you should know that I’m a vamp. You’ve known me for years,” Looking around at the faces that were trying not to make eye contact with another he shook his head trying to clear it, “What’s going on here?”

Taking this opportunity to run interference, Whistler stepped closer to Spike, “Why don’t we all just take a nice little break from this meeting while I have a word with Buffy, hmm?” Without waiting for a response from anyone, Whistler grabbed Buffy’s hand and pulled her along with him, just far enough until he knew they were out of the vampire’s super hearing, “So far so good?”

Rubbing her arms to warm herself, Buffy shrugged, “I guess. But, who is this Spike guy? He seemed really out of the loop. Was he this Buffy’s boyfriend or something?”

Wincing a bit and rubbing the back of his neck, Whistler avoided eye contact with her until he knew how to proceed, “Well, not exactly. See, Spike was a part of a foursome called the Scourge of Europe. It contained four of the worst vampires in this universe. Darla was the oldest, turned by the Master himself. Darla turned Angelus so that she could have a companion. Angelus now goes by Angel because once upon a time he killed a gypsy girl and her tribe cursed him with a soul. But before this, Angelus became fixated on a woman named Drusilla who is a visionary. He turned her crazy before he turned her into a vampire. Drusilla then met a man named William in the 1800’s. She wanted him to be her toy. William was a shy man, but had a good heart. One night he was at a party where he declared his love for a woman. She broke his heart and sent him away. In an alley, he met Drusilla who promised him a new world. She turned him and then he became Spike. The vampire you met today.”

Staring at Whistler in shock, she didn’t know what to say. Spike was a bad vampire? Then why didn’t any one try to stake him when he showed up out of the blue? Was he a good guy now? So many questions that went unanswered, “Wow. So if he was this bad ass vampire then why wasn’t anyone trying to kill him earlier?”

“That’s a bit tricky. He’s been sort of helping your little group so I guess you all have a sort of truce going on.”

Deciding that it would be better to just leave that topic alone for now, Buffy changed the subject quickly, “Oh, okay. So what’s going on in this universe? What should I expect when my life here begins tomorrow morning?”

Looking around until he found a small park bench, Whistler walked over and plopped down, knowing this was going to be a bit of a long conversation, “Let’s see. You currently live in a dorm room with the redhead. She’s dating the brunette that was standing next to her. You go see your mom every so often so she would probably not notice if you didn’t see her tomorrow. College kind of sucks for you but then again you never were a bright stude—what? What did I say?”

Whistler noticed the stricken look on her face. Something wasn’t right. She was scared and excited all at the same time. However, instead of pushing her, he waited until she spoke these heartbreaking words as a tear escaped, “My—my mom’s here?”

______________________________


Giles quickly ushered Willow and Xander away from Anya and Spike, speaking low enough not to be heard by anyone but the other two, “This Buffy seems a bit different than the one we are used to. It is plain to see just by the way she carries herself and how she acts around the rest of us.”

Smiling, Xander spoke up, “Well I like her already. She doesn’t know who the Peroxide King is and that is one good check in my book.”

Rolling her eyes at his jealous statement, “Well, do you think that she slays the same? I mean, she’s lived a different life so what if she isn’t as good at slaying as our Buffy is?”

“My God, Willow, you’re right. That is a very good question,” Giles took his glasses off to clean them with his handkerchief, “I suppose I could train her. I could train her like I was supposed to train her the first time.”

Xander bunched his eyebrows together, “What do you mean the first time, G-man? Our Buffy slayed pretty good.”

“Yes well, Buffy was started out training as she was supposed to. Merrick made sure of that. I was merely supposed to continue her proper training after his death. However, she began to seem more like a daughter to me and I took things easy on her, let things slack a bit. Maybe now, I could have a do over. I could train her as she was supposed to be trained by myself.”

A worried look crossed over Willow’s face, “What if she doesn’t want to be trained that way? What if she insists that she is fine the way she is now?”

Xander butted in before Giles had an opportunity to answer, “Will, Giles knows what he’s talking about. If he thinks that it would be better for her to be trained like she was supposed to be then she has to listen. It’s for her own good.”

______________________________


Spike looked at the two groups that had strayed from him and Anya. Apparently they all knew how far to go and just how low to speak so that he couldn’t hear what they were saying. Finally, giving up, he looked to Anya, “So, what’s the deal with Buffy? She some brainwashed bint now or what?”

Rolling her eyes at his stupidity that obviously came with being male, “No, nothing like that. Whistler explained it to us. In another dimension a Buffy died the true hero’s death, and that can’t ever be undone. So when their Willow tried to bring her back from the dead they took ours in her place.”

Growling, Spike’s nose flared in anger, “So we do another bloody spell and get our Buffy back and send this one back to wherever she came from.”

“Can’t be done. Once a trade has been made there’s no returning it. It’s an act that can’t be undone.”

Feeling the familiar rumble of anger in his chest, Spike tried to calm himself, “So where’s this Buffy from, then? Did we rip her out of her life too?” While this new Buffy may not be their Buffy, she was still a Buffy nonetheless. She didn’t deserve to just be ripped from her life, her family, and her friends. It wasn’t fair to a champion to have that happen to them.

Waving it off with her hand, “Oh, no, of course not. Whistler gave her a choice. She’s from some other dimension. She made the decision herself to come here.”

Glancing at this new Buffy from the corner of his eye, he couldn’t figure out why anyone would do that, especially when they knew what they were doing, “Why? What could be so bad in her dimension that she would want to leave it behind forever?”

Seeing Giles, Willow, and Xander begin to make their way back over to them, Anya turned to Spike and spoke quickly, “I don’t know. No one knows. Whistler wouldn’t tell us. He said it was her story to tell, not his. So if you want to know, ask her.”

Whistler just stared at Buffy’s face. He wasn’t really sure how to continue with this conversation, “Well—Buffy—I mean—it’s your mom—but—it’s her mom. It’s the other Buffy’s mom. The Buffy that you’re replacing. Your mom, she’s the same woman, just not the same mind. Do you understand?”

Wiping the tears that were flowing down her face, “Yeah, I mean, I knew that it wouldn’t be my same mom, but it’s still my mom, you know? She’s still the woman who gave birth to a Buffy. And I’m a Buffy. I just wonder how she’ll react when she finds out this news.”

Rocking back and forth on the soles of his feet, “Are you going to tell her? Are you going to tell any of them the truth? About what you’ve gone through?”

Biting her lip and looking to the group that were now all standing together, “We should get back. It’s going to be a long night.”

Without waiting for a reply, Buffy walked away from him and towards the rest of the group.

______________________________


The group stopped their mindless talking when they all realized that Buffy as rejoining them. Xander beat every one else in saying something first, “So, Buffster, what’s say we get this patrolling party show on the road?”

Buffy watched as he struggled to get his stake out of his pocket and winced when she thought of the nicest way to say this, “Actually, I’m just going to take a quick sweep on my own. I won’t be long if you all just want to hang out here then we can find somewhere for me to crash. I don’t really know anything about where I’m going.”

Before anyone could protest, Spike spoke up, “How abouts I take a quick sweep with you then and show you the nice cemeteries compared to the not so nice ones then I can drop you by the watcher’s place and you lot can take it from there?”

Again, cutting the group off before they could even muster a word out, Buffy stepped closer to Spike and got her stake ready, “Sure that sounds good to me. I’ll see you guys later.”

And while the rest of the group just looked on in shock, the slayer and vampire made their way on to their first night of slaying together.

______________________________


Walking side by side, Spike couldn’t figure out how to approach the topic of where this Buffy came from. How do you ask someone about a life they just left behind? There had to be a reason why she left it behind and that meant she surely didn’t want to talk about it. Taking a breath, Spike prepared himself for the question that would surely be the stupidest to come out of his mouth.

But before he could get the first syllable out, Buffy nudged him with her shoulder, “What’s up with the quietness coming from your side? Not ten minutes ago you were all chatty Kathy with me like a ten-year-old little girl about the ins and outs of these cemeteries. Now? Nothing. What’s going on?”

Spike was shocked that this Buffy was so cheerful when she was around him. He wasn’t used to this kind of treatment. Granted she didn’t know who he was, but still. It was refreshing. He never got this kind of treatment from the Buffy that belonged in this universe. With this one, he had already laughed and had brilliant conversation with, and it hadn’t even been two hours. It was a wonderful feeling. He could really get used to not having to walk on eggshells around Buffy.

Realizing that he still hadn’t answered her, Spike cleared his throat and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “Just thinking, I guess.”

Smiling knowingly, “You want to know why I left my universe.” There was no question in her voice. She knew eventually someone would ask that question, she just wasn’t sure she was ready to give it yet. She stopped their walk and turned to face him, “Things were—difficult. And if things between us get closer and I get to know you better then I will probably tell you, but right now, I’m just too guarded to let anyone into that part of my life, yet.”

Feeling slightly disappointed, Spike played it off like it was not big deal and he couldn’t have cared less, “Yeah, no problem. Just thought it would be interesting to know. You being from another universe that you don’t know me in and a world that you just willingly gave up to come and live here.”

“It’s just—this part of my life—I haven’t told anyone about it since it happened. I haven’t talked to anyone because it was too hard. And it’s still hard, but it’s manageable now. And it hurts to talk about it. But this part of my life, it’s all I have left from it. All I have left are my memories as proof that it really did happen and that I’m not some nut job who only thinks she lived in another world. It’s a part of me that’s just mine right now, and it’s hard to let it go. It’s hard to just give it up. Do you understand?”

“Yeah. I get it. More than you know,” and he did. He understood because he himself had those moments after he became a vampire. He still has things about his human life that no one knows. It’s a part of his life that he was taken out of and it was all he had left. It was just for him.

Realizing that the moment had gotten too serious, Buffy pushed Spike back as hard as she could and watched him take several steps back. She turned and started to run, yelling the whole way, “Race you to the end of the cemetery!”
Smiling, Spike thought to himself that he could really get used to this carefree Buffy. He really, really could. Letting out a small chuckle, Spike picked himself up and began the chase after her.

She was actually having fun. Buffy leaned against the wall outside of Giles’ apartment complex. She was surprised. When she had decided to come to this universe, she thought things would still be the same. Even though Whistler had explained that she would have people here who would be used to having Buffy as a friend, she was still blindsided by this man in front of her.

She knew what she was feeling and it was an odd feeling to her. She had had friends before. Once upon a time. It had been a long time since she had enjoyed the company of another person. It was nice to not be cut off from the world. However, she knew that she couldn’t get too used to it. That was a mistake she had made once before, but not again.

Buffy was pulled out of her thoughts as Spike snapped his fingers continuously in front of her face, “What? What’d I miss?”

Letting out a chuckle, “I was just about to ask the same thing. You looked like you were having quite the conversation running through your mind. You having a hard time adjusting to being in a whole new world?”

Taking a deep breath, she held it for a bit, trying to figure out a way to answer. Letting it out, she looked him in the eyes, “It’s just a big change. My life has never been easy. Ever since I was a kid I’ve never had Lady Luck on my side. So for Whistler to tell me that I can come to this universe and have a life, that I can come here and have the life that I never had there, I’m skeptical. I wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. I don’t want to get too comfortable here just in case everything goes wrong.”

Spike had been looking at her throughout her entire speech. Now he was outright staring and slowly tilting his head to the right. Buffy began to feel uneasy. He had been staring for quite a long time, “Spike? What’s wrong? You’ve been doing this staring thing for quite a while now.”

Scrunching his eyebrows together, “What are you?”

Looking confused, Buffy shrugged her shoulders, “What do you mean?”

“You’re human, yeah? Not a demon or anything like that?”

Buffy was now looking at him like he was a complete lunatic, “As far as I know I’m human. I haven’t been told otherwise. Why? What’s going on?”

Turning around, Spike ran his hand over his hair, “Well, I’m just trying to wrap my head around this,” stopping, he turned around to face her once again, “So, if you’re human, then why don’t you have a heartbeat?”

______________________________


Willow and Tara made their way towards Giles’ house. Neither had spoken a word throughout the walk. Willow was still trying to process all of the information and events that had transpired within the last three days. She couldn’t believe that she, or she in any universe could have the power to bring someone back to life. To her, it was simply a crazy notion.

And then there was the fact that her best friend was gone. Her best friend that she had had since high school was now in a different universe and she would never come back. She was gone forever and she never got the chance to say goodbye. And even though she knew she was alive and in another universe, she couldn’t help but feel saddened by the loss.

Now there was this new Buffy that was completely different. She wasn’t used to this new Buffy yet and she wasn’t sure if she ever would be. Every time she looked at her she would still see her best friend, the one she’d lost. However, this new Buffy seemed to be a good type of different. She knew there were things about Buffy that she didn’t know. She knew that things weren’t going to be easy, especially not for this Buffy, she just hoped that things would fall together soon.

The only problem that she saw was Giles and Xander. They both seemed like they wanted to control her. They seemed like they wanted to make her the Buffy that they didn’t think theirs was. Even though she knew that those two men were sure to be a speed bump in the road, she also knew that she would be there for Buffy. And she would make sure that Tara and Anya were on her side.

Willow was broken out of her thoughts when Tara squeezed her hand, “You alright?”

Smiling to her girlfriend, Willow took her hand from Tara’s and wrapped it around her shoulders, “Yeah, just doing some thinking, but nothing to worry about. Let’s get to Giles’, okay?”

Before Buffy could answer Spike’s question, Giles’ door opened. She snapped her head towards the sound and saw Giles standing just outside of his apartment, “Giles. Hey. What’s up?”

“Ah, Buffy, I was hoping it would be you out here. I was hoping we could discuss some things as far as your training goes and as to how you were called,” Gesturing for them to step inside of his apartment, “If you will, please?”

Buffy chanced a look at Spike, seeing the unanswered question still in his eyes. Sighing, she followed Giles into his apartment. Turning around just before she got through the door, she gestured to Spike to follow.

Giles stepped in front of her, blocking the view of Spike, “Buffy, do you really think it’s best if Spike be invited in? It isn’t really necessary for him to be here.”

“And why shouldn’t he be here? From what I’ve heard he’s been patrolling on his own and helping you all whenever you’ve asked for it. Tonight he’s helped me in more ways than one. He may not be your friend but I consider him mine and if that is a problem for you then I think we’re finished here.”

Buffy stared at Giles. She couldn’t understand why Giles was making such a big deal about Spike. Ever since she had gotten into this universe he hadn’t done anything that could even warrant a label of “mischievous” but all she knew was that she wasn’t going to back down, “Look, I don’t know what all of your problems are with him, and honestly, I don’t care. Judging by Xander alone I would say that for you people the only good demon is a dead demon and that isn’t the same for me. I was trained differently. I slay differently than you all do and differently than you all expect me to, which that much is obvious.

“I didn’t come to this universe to be scrutinized and to have my every action controlled by people that I don’t even know. I don’t care that you all are used to having a Buffy that will do your every bidding. She’s gone and she’s not coming back. Ever. So you better get used to the fact that I am a completely different person, a completely different slayer. Now the big question is, are you going to deal with that or do I need to relocate to a place where the people aren’t so bigoted?”

Giles simply stared at Buffy. He wasn’t sure where her outburst had come from. Nor had he noticed that the rest of the group was surrounding them and staring as well. They had all be present for their confrontation. He could tell however that what she said was true. She was a different person. She seemed to know who she was and was very confident in that fact. When she was speaking to them she kept her voice steady and calm, yet assertive and to the point.

This Buffy had made the point that he had been trying to avoid. Their Buffy wasn’t going to come back. He had heard Whistler tell them this, yet he still didn’t want to admit the fact that they had lost her. Even though they had a Buffy, it wasn’t the same. This Buffy wasn’t someone that had gone through the same experiences that they had, and this was something that was going to take a bit of effort to adjust to.

Turning to step back into this apartment, Giles opened the door a bit wider, “Spike, come in, please.”

Startled, Buffy snapped her head towards him, “Wait, not that I’m complaining, but, just like that? Not five seconds ago you were seriously looking like you were going to stake Spike and have me committed for even suggesting that you invite him in. What happened?”

Sighing, Giles took his glasses off and began cleaning them with his handkerchief, “Buffy, I understand that things aren’t quite like you were expecting when you showed up here. You were not what we were expecting either, especially not what I was expecting. Before we continue this, could we all please step inside so that we aren’t airing our dirty laundry to my community neighbors?”

Buffy looked around to find Spike’s eyes. Looking at him directly, she wanted to make sure that he was going to join them inside, knowing that he wanted the same answers that she needed to give them. She waited until he nodded at her before turning back to Giles, “Okay. We can finish this inside. There are some things that you all definitely need to know.”

The group piled into Giles’ apartment, taking their chosen spots of resting. All except for Buffy, who was still pacing the floors of the apartment. After five minutes of patiently waiting for Buffy to begin, Giles cleared his throat, “Buffy, are you going to begin any time soon or should I be preparing for a nap in between your pacing?”

Stopping, Buffy realized that time had passed quicker than what she had thought, “Sorry. I was just trying to figure out how to start,” taking a deep breath, “Okay. So. First thing first, I don’t have a heartbeat. I didn’t really think it was important but then Spike kind of pointed it out and I realized that you all aren’t really used to me and that you didn’t know about the no heartbeat thing and then I remembered that this is a completely different universe and that the way things were for me are certainly not like they are here—“

Spike grabbed her arm, stopping her ranting, “Buffy, just because you don’t have a heartbeat doesn’t meant that you don’t need to breathe. Take a breath before we all get winded for you. And some punctuation might be nice.”

Doing as she was told, Buffy took a deep breath, “You’re right. Sorry. I’m just kind of nervous about what’s going to be said.”

Finally jumping out of his stupor, Giles stood up, “You don’t have a heartbeat? At all?”

Buffy shook her head, “No. None. Notta. Never. It went away a little while after I was called.”

Giles was baffled, “How?”

“I don’t know. It’s just how things were there. Whistler said that Slayers didn’t need heartbeats. We’re immortal so they kind of became irrelevant. So definitely don’t take me to the hospital if I’m hurt.”

Taking his glasses off, “Yes, of course. That would be the best course of action if the situation ever arose.” Giles walked over to his desk and grabbed a notebook and a pencil, “Just how were you called, Buffy?”

Buffy let out a large sigh, then leaned against the wall, “When I was twelve I was called. I was at home with my father and he started the day with a glass of whiskey. “ Pausing to take a deep breath, she held it as if she were afraid to continue, “Whenever he drank he was always at his worst. He had a very short temper and there wasn’t a thing I could ever do to make him not angry with me. He would ways find a way to punish me. That afternoon I hadn’t had lunch ready whenever he wanted it and so he got angry. And headed straight for me. I was so mad. I didn’t know what I was doing. I just felt this…..unfairness and I was tired of it. I saw him raise his hand and then that was it. I saw red and I hit him before he could hit me. I’d never hit him before, and I didn’t think I had even hit him that hard.”

“When did you realize that you had the extra strength?”

“When I opened my eyes and he was across the room. And the fact that he never woke up also gave me some kind of inclination. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. There wasn’t anyone who could have helped me. So I ran. And then when I stopped, I met Whistler and he explained it all to me.”

Buffy glanced around the room, meeting every pair of eyes that was just staring back at her. Unsure of how to absorb all of this information she had just divulged. When she met Spike’s eyes she noted that they weren’t filled with shock or confusion. She realized that he must have understood what she had gone through.

Giles broke her out of her thoughts once again, “So is that why you decided to come to this universe? You killed your father? Not that it’s not a good reason but surely that wouldn’t have mattered in that world? It was such a long time ago from the way you’re talking, that it wouldn’t have made a difference.”

Taking a deep breath, Buffy broke her gaze from Spike and faced Giles, “You’re not wrong. Killing him wasn’t a part of my decision making when I decided to come here.”

“Then what was?”

“It all started when I met Lee.”

Confused, Giles began scribbling in his notebook again, “And who was this Lee fellow?”

“He’s my husband.”




TBC

Glancing around the room, Buffy didn’t think she could have caught them off guard more if she had told them she were a vampire. No one would make eye contact with her, yet they were all staring, mouths open, and eyes wide. Was having a husband really that big of a deal?

Xander was the first to break the silence, “You’re married?!?!”

Apparently it was a big deal. She shrugged her shoulders, “Well I mean, I’m in this universe now. I’m technically not married anymore.”

And that opened the dam, a flood of questions were thrown at her coming from a million directions.

“So you are married?!”

“How could you just leave your husband like that?!”

“Why didn’t he come here too?”

“Why is it that we weren’t told of him before now?”

“Do you not love him? Why else would you leave?”

Not being able to take the noise and commotion directed at her, Buffy turned and walked out of the door, only to stop by the door and lean against the wall. She tried to catch her breath and go through all of the emotions that were running through her. She knew the moment that Spike stepped out of the apartment to join her. She could still hear all off the noise and conversations inside. She had also noted that he hadn’t been one of the people to question her, “Why didn’t you ask about my marriage?”

Spike shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, “Dunno. Doesn’t seem like it’s any of my business. You have your reasons for what you do.”

Scoffing, “Yeah, they don’t seem to think that it’s none of their business. Thank you.”

He simply nodded his head in her direction and brought out his pack of cigarettes. She watched as he lit one and took a long drag from it, “I met Lee when I was in Colorado. I was eighteen and I had been hopping from one state to the next. I had been out slaying and I came across this group of vampires that had a couple surrounded. They had already killed the girl and they were moving in on the guy. He was screaming at them. Screaming that he would kill them for killing his girlfriend. That’s when I decided to step in.

“He told me to run and that it wasn’t my fight. He said he didn’t want me to get hurt because of him. I thought it was cute. I smiled and told him, ‘That’s sweet of you,’ and then did what I do best. He sat on the ground and just watched as I obliterated the things that took his love away from him. After all was said and done I made sure he got home and I never saw him again. Until two years later. I was in Minnesota, slaying of course. I saw a man fighting three vampires by himself and before I could even step in he had killed them all. One stake all by himself and he took them all out. I didn’t know that it was Lee until he turned around and saw me. He chuckled and asked me if I knew how hard a girl I was to find. From them on we were inseparable.”

Spike watched as Buffy slid to the ground against the wall, “So if you were inseparable then why are you here and he’s not?”

Buffy looked up at him with tears in her eyes that were threatening to overflow, “Because I killed him.”

Shock went through Spike, “You killed him? How?”

Taking a deep breath, Buffy thought of how she could explain this, “We had gotten married about a year after we were together. I had found out I was pregnant not long after. When I was close to five months pregnant, I woke up one night screaming in pain. I had been hurt before because of patrol but this was nothing like it. I felt like my whole body was trying to turn itself inside out. I didn’t know what was wrong and all I could think was that I needed to make it stop.

“So Lee picked me up and put me in the truck and took us to the hospital. We were in there for eight days before they let us go home. I had begun hemorrhaging from and old slaying wound and if it weren’t for Lee both the baby and I would have died. I remember never seeing him that scared before. Not when I first met him surrounded by vampires. Not when he was going to ask me to marry him. We were on our way home and I just kept looking at him thinking that I was so lucky and that our baby was so lucky to have him in our lives. He looked at me with stars in his eyes and I could just see the love he had for us both.”

Buffy stopped to take a deep breath. Tears were streaming down her eyes and she was having a hard time breathing, all the emotions coming back to her as if they were fresh, “And that was it. I don’t remember anything else except there being pain and loud noises. I woke up two months later in the hospital. I was so scared. I didn’t know what had happened or how I had gotten there and all I wanted was Lee to come and tell me that it was all going to be okay. I had to push the nurse button for someone to come in and when they did they all just looked so sad.

“The doctor told me that our car was hit and thrown to the other side of the interstate where we just got hit more. We ended upside down in the median. They said that the firefighters and police found Lee practically attached to my door trying to cover me. A slice of glass imbedded itself in his neck and he bled out. Our baby was under too much pressure and stress and she didn’t make it. I was the only one that survived. After that I kind of changed my life. I avoid places that have children like schools. I don’t get into any vehicles because I’m scared that I’ll just remember that day again and it would hurt too much.”

Buffy looked up at Spike and shrugged her shoulders, “The only way that I made it through the pain was because of Whistler. That’s why I’m so close to him and so protective of him. Yeah he seems like this self-absorbed ass hole and for the most part you’re right. But he had been my best friend through all of it. I couldn’t handle that I had lost my whole world in one night and I didn’t even know about it until two months later. I couldn’t handle myself because of the pain and memories and I just shut myself off from everything.

Spike watched as Buffy stood up and turned to face the door of Giles’ apartment, where he noticed that the rest of the group had huddled, listening to Buffy’s story. He watched as she stood straight, shoulders square and her eyes hard and assertive, “I wanted a new life. I wanted a second chance to have friends and love without fear. I wanted some place new. So that is why I chose to transfer. That’s why I chose to come here and help you all. It wasn’t for you. It wasn’t for your universe. I hate to say it like that but it’s the truth.

“I was completely selfish and absorbed in myself in making this decision. I made it for me because I know what’s best for me and what’s best for my life. No one else knows how to take care of me like I do. So don’t forget that I’m much older than you remember. Don’t forget that I am not your Buffy and that I haven’t gone through some of the things that she has. Remember that I’ve been through more and I have more balls than she apparently did. Because she never told you to shove it and that she would make those decisions for herself. And just in case you want to try to get used to what that is going to look like, here’s an example. Shove off.”

With that, Buffy turned on her heel and walked off into the darkness. No one dared move toward her direction. They were all processing what they had just heard, none of them really knowing how to go forward from there.



TBC