A/N: I just thought you guys should know... I love reviews! :D

Light in the Dark
The shadow is what you see, behind the shadow is what she found

Prologue
William was sitting at his home office flipping through the files on his desk. Angel, his lawyer was sitting at the chair opposite his trying to talk some sense into him since he came in to drop off his workload which seemed to have grown into a mountain the last couple of months. “Listen to me Spike, you have got to get off your butt. We have to take action now! Cause I know your in-laws are sure not just gonna sit back on this.”

“Will you please give a bloke time to adjust!” he hollered as he ran his hand through his hair and flipped briskly through the piles of documents he had to take care of. “We’ll deal with them when the time comes!” Angel raised both his hands as a sign of surrender. He knew when to back off when William’s really pissed. “And don’t call me that.”

“Don’t call you what?” Angel asked as he rose from his seat and walked over to the door. He could swear he heard a sound coming from down the hallway.

“Spike.” He spat out, as the sounds Angel heard increased, as it turned out it were cries, cries of a baby.

“Aren’t you gonna take care of that?” Angel asked as he turned back from the hallway.

“Joyce!” he called, “Joyce!” A woman around her early forties appeared on the door. “Didn’t I tell you to keep her quiet? I’m trying to work here!” He ordered her without looking up from the papers in front of him. The woman just nodded her head and went to sooth the crying baby.

“You know, Sp- Will. I think I have a solution for your little problem over there.” He pertained to the crying of a baby just before which seemed to have vanished.

“Yeah, and what is that exactly?” William asked still not looking up at Angel. “Get a nanny?” he scoffed with a sarcastic laugh.

Angel just had a devious smile on his face. “Why not?” This time he did look up.

to be continued...

Chapter 1

The dock was filled with people getting in and out of ships. As another ship anchored itself on the shore, mounts of people started to get off. Families, businessmen and couples from their honeymoons filled the docks as each and every passenger got off. Just as it seemed no one would be coming out the ship, one blonde girl pulling her luggage came out. She was looking around as if searching for someone until she heard a shout.


“Buffy! Buffy!” A redhead called from behind the waiting shed. “Over here!” she jumped up and down just in case the woman wouldn’t see her.


“Willow!” the blonde ran over to the woman leaving her luggage on the middle of the dock in the process as she gave her cousin a big hug. “Oh my god! It’s been so long…” she grabbed her bag as they walked over to the parking lot. “You look good, cuz! So how you’ve been?”

Buffy’s cousin just rolled her eyes. Some things never change.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Buffy and Willow were sitting in a little teashop talking about Buffy’s trip. She had been studying in America for the last couple of years taking up nursing. She came to London because there was a job offer she wanted to apply for here, so she thought she’d stay here for the time being and visit her cousin Willow and get a feel of the place if she ever gets the job that is. “So is the old SunnyD still the same?”

“You mean boring, boring, high crime rates and boring? Then yes,” both of the women laugh at that. Sunnydale or as they call SunnyD was where the two cousins have grown up. Their mothers were the best of friends so naturally and so where they. They have lived across from each other and they haven’t been separated since the day Willow came to London to work. “So how long will you be staying here, Buff?”

“I don’t know really… I mean the job doesn’t start until after Christmas but I could always stay for a couple of weeks and hang-out.” She took a sip from her cup of tea, a typical delicacy in London. “Take a look around the city or something.”

Willow chewed the remaining scones inside her mouth and swallowed before she answered. “Oh, that would be awesome except… I have a job to get back to. Boss is not very nice this past few weeks.”

“Oh it’s okay.” Buffy simply dismissed it. “I can entertain myself.”

“Wish we could spend more time together…” Willow offered her a smile of sympathy.

“I’ll be fine… I just have no idea what I’ll do when I get back to Sunnydale that is.”

“Well you can stay here longer,” Willow offered. “Maybe you could get an apartment here or something. Better yet, you could become a London gal and live here permanently.”

“Like you?” The redhead nodded. “Umm… I don’t know, that’s almost three months of nothing but lounging around and watching television,” Buffy said and as she did she realized it isn’t so bad after all…Buffy was apprehensive. True she had nothing else better to do, unless she gets that nursing job, her life is really going in no direction at all. “Plus there’s the problem of finding a place to stay.”

“Like you wouldn’t be doing the same thing if you were in Sunnydale.” Willow gave her a pleading smile at least she thought it looked like she was pleading. They were the only two relatives remaining in their families that still had constant communication so she thought that they should at least stick together. Before Willow could give Buffy another reason why she should stay, her cell phone rang. “Excuse me.” She said as she flipped the device open. “Hello… yeah… I’ll be right there… uhuh… yeah… okay.” By this time Willow already have a smile on her face glancing to Buffy from time to time. “I think I know the perfect candidate.” She said loud enough for Buffy to hear and let her curiosity rise with it. “Okay, thanks Joyce. Bye” she flipped the phone back down.

“Who was it?” Buffy asked.

“I think I just found the perfect job for you.”

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“Welcome Miss Willow!” the security greeted as they entered the big gates of the Bennedict Mansion. On their way up the mountain-shaped driveway Buffy thought how she actually got herself in this situation. After the phone call the redhead had got at the teashop. She plainly insisted that applying for this job is the best opportunity for the two of them to spend some time together. She’ll be getting extra money, and a rent-free apartment too, so according to Willow it was win-win situation no matter from what point of view you look at it from.

Sure Willow maybe right, this is a great opportunity for her to kill time while she stayed in London but she was trained to be a nurse, not a nanny nor a sitter. Of course she can probably do the job if she was asked to but she’s not really that eager about it. Especially when the only thing she knew about their so called ‘boss’ was that he was rich.

As they finally reached the main door of the mansion she was astounded on how big the house really was. From the road you could see that it was vast but up close it was GIGANTIC! Like the pyramid of Giza except not in a pyramid form.

The butler greeted them on their way in as she passed the threshold she was welcomed by the twin stairs leading up to the second floor. A woman came down from the said steps, she was around her forties and was holding a small bundle around her arms.

“Hello Willow!” she greeted them. “You must be Buffy,” she reached her hand out as she shifted the bundle in one arm. “Welcome. I’m Joyce and this is Prudence” she held the bundle out for her to see.

Buffy took a look and what she saw was probably the most beautiful baby she had ever laid eyes on. Prue had pale skin, chocolate brown eyes and dark black hair she was a perfect representation of a dark beauty. “Oh God, she’s adorable!”

“Yeah isn’t she?” Joyce rubbed Prue’s nose sounding like the proudest mother in the world. “Just like her mum.” Buffy tried to touch her face and she crocked her nose at her, which caused them all to smile.

“So you’ll be meeting Mr. Bennedict right?” Joyce asked as she held the baby in her arms and started to swing her from side to side. “We could definitely use a helping hand here around the house.”

“Yeah… I guess…” Buffy replied unsure.

“Of course she will.” Willow said dismissively. “But that’s for later, he’s still not home yet. I have to show you the quarters!” she said quite excitedly as she excused both of them from Joyce. She led Buffy around the room through the kitchen and across the garden and into a small cottage at the back of the house. As they opened the door, inside was a tiny living room, a round dinning table with a kitchenette at the back and a row of doors, which she guessed was the bedrooms. “Here it is,” the redhead presented. “You can drop your things over there,” she pointed in the direction of the rows of doors and went into the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea. “So, Sir Will said that we could have this cottage all to ourselves once you get the job. Isn’t that awesome?!” Buffy heard Willow say from the kitchen as she dropped her things in her soon-to-be new room.

The room was simply decorated with essential furnishings. There was bed in the middle of the room, a side table, a dresser, a rocking chair and a study table by the window. “Of course you’ll be at the house most of the time taking care of Prue but still,” Willow peeked her head into Buffy’s room. “When you have some free time we can pretty much do anything we want here. Tea is almost ready why don’t you come out and we’ll have a chat.”

“Okay, I’ll be right out.” Buffy smiled as her cousin vanished into the kitchen. She dropped her suitcase on the bed and took a seat as she surveyed the room. ‘Pretty posh for a maids quarters’ she thought but she could make it work. “So what is ‘Sir Will’ like exactly?” she asked as she sat on the chair by dinning table where the tea was waiting.

“Well…” Willow brought some biscuits out, “He was nice and very generous. There’s nothing to be afraid off if that’s what you mean. He’s a total gentleman. Plus he’s a hottie.” Willow couldn’t help but giggle at that. Buffy just raised her brow at her as if saying ‘hottie?’ “Of course not in a boyfriend kind of way, just in an I appreciate how he looks… kind of way.”

“Ooookay…” Buffy nodded her head as she took a sip of her tea. “So what do you mean he was nice?”

“Well… there was that whole thing with-“ ‘knock knock’. Somebody was at the door, interrupting their discussion.

As Willow went to the door Buffy thought of what she was really doing. ‘He was nice’ was, meaning past tense. What did she get herself into. “Oh come in Giles.” Buffy heard Willow invite somebody in. “Buffy, I’d like you to meet Giles.” The redhead introduced her to a man about her father’s age. He had thinning gray hair and is he British? “He’s Sir Will’s chauffeur.”

“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you Buffy. Willow has told us loads about you.” Giles offered his hand for her to shake.

Definitely British, she concluded. “I hope it’s nothing too bad now is it?” she joked which caused Giles dole out a laugh as she shook his hand. There was another knock at the door as Willow went and answered it.

“So, are you nervous of meeting Will?” Giles asked.

“A little” Buffy admitted.

“Well, you needn’t worry. I’m sure it’ll go well.”

“I hope…” she replied with a smile. “Buffy, Sir William’s home,” she heard Willow call from the threshold as Joyce threw her a wave. ‘Oh my God! Brace yourself Summers…’

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“No experience… Just got out of college…” William recited as he interviewed Buffy.

Willow was in the room sitting right beside her but she didn’t know what to feel. Willow’s description that he was nice was a total understatement. For the few minutes she had been sitting in the study she had been grilled. Sir Will was cruel. He hasn’t said anything good about Buffy. He hasn’t even made her feel like she was welcome or that he was pleased that she would want to work for him. Basically she was treating her like a maid. Which wasn’t so bad because that was what she was technically applying for. Willow was right about one thing though, he was a hottie with a sexy accent… but that soo does not make up for his atrocity.

“I’m not seeing anything good here… Ms. Summers is it?” he asked her and Willow replied for her with a nod. “Why should I hire you? I have no idea if you really know how to take care of a baby…?”

“For one thing,” Buffy answered keeping eye contact in the process, “Willow recommended me which already guarantees you that I can be trusted… well more or less. And since I was trained to be a nurse I got to know a thing or two about babies… and lastly.” She emphasized, “I’m your only choice.”

William was surprised, it was the only word that could possibly describe his expression, that and impressed. This girl was feisty! Something he very much liked, but of course he wouldn’t let her know that, he is after all her boss. Suppressing a smile, “Okay, you’re hired.”

“Thank you.” was Buffy’s reply.

“If you have any questions. I’m sure Willow here would be glad to answer that for you,” he explained. “That’s all I guess… you’re dismissed.”

“Excuse me?” Buffy inquired, ‘dismissed?’

“You can leave…” Buffy just nodded and walked with Willow out the door.

“Oh and Ms. Summers.” William called just before they were out the door. “One more thing, I detest it when people disturb me when I’m working. If you like to keep your job...” he trailed off. “Do I make myself clear?”

With a swallow from Willow and a nod from Buffy, the two turned around and left the room.

to be continued...

A/N: I haven't read any nanny stories yet... so I can't really say that it'll be different... but I have a big feeling it would be... and then again i might be wrong :D BTW, thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 2

“Can you please cut these into cubes dear?” Joyce asked as she went over to the stove and continued mixing the pot of chowder she was making.

Buffy had been part of the Bennedict household for the last couple of weeks. Working here was not as terrible as she had first thought. Taking care of Prue was no problem at all. She was what some would call a quiet baby. She would take her naps at the right time, eat her meals with no agitation and made darling gestures whenever she could. She couldn’t possibly contemplate why William would need to hire a nanny. He could just pick her up once in a while an—

There was something she noticed these last couple of weeks she was in the house. William never once visited Prudence’s room to play with her, bring her new toys or even give her a kiss goodnight when he would arrive home. Actually the only time she ever saw him go near her bedroom was when he was calling for Willow who at that time was helping Buffy fold some of Prue’s clothes. That was something she found really strange, usually for a first time dad, at least she assumed he was a first time dad since there were no other children in the house. Most dads would be ecstatic about going home and playing with their little ones but William seemed to be just the complete opposite of what one would assume a dad would react. And another thing she had been meaning to ask Willow or pretty much anybody in the household… where was Prue’s mom.

“Joyce?” Buffy continued chopping the carrots into cubes, “I sort of have a question.”

Joyce lowered the fire over the pot and then went over and sat across Buffy in the kitchen island. “What is it?”

“I was just wondering…” Buffy fidgeted as she continued her dicing. Joyce offered her an encouraging façade asking her to continue. “I just wanted to ask… where’s Prue’s mother?”

A dreary expression passed the woman’s face before she gave Buffy a small smile. “Well…” she hesitated.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” Buffy backtracked, it was really none of her business. “I’m sure it’s nothing I should know about.”

“Nonsense. You want to know I’ll tell you.” Joyce insisted as she herself grabbed a knife and started chopping the other vegetables. “About a couple of months back. William and Drusilla, that’s her name, went out and went to a party. They had left Prudence with us. I think she was still around a couple of weeks old then. They left and I remember that Prue was right there.” She pointed to the nearby counter top. “I was heating her milk and then there was a call from the hospital saying that Dru had been rushed into the emergency room.”

“They said there really was no need to call us since Will was there but he was beginning to become a wreak waiting outside the operating room so they thought it best call for us. Immediately I rushed over with Mr. Giles and left Prue with Willow.” She rose from her seat and placed the vegetables they have finished chopping into the pot and sat back down to continue her story. “When I reached the waiting area I saw him sitting there and staring out into space. He didn’t say a single word. I had to talk with the nurse at the desk to ask what had happened and she just said that Mrs. Bennedict was already dead. I was at a lost I didn’t know what to say. When I tried to ask what happened all they said was that she had lost a lot of blood and that she was already bleeding when Will had brought her in.” Joyce breathed in deep, trying to hold back the tears pricking her eyes from the memory she had just dug up. “When they asked him what really happened he didn’t want to talk, said that it wouldn’t do anything to help. He right down refused to tell anything to them so that’s all that I know.”

“He had been killing himself about it these past months. He hardly ate and was in bed most part of the day, not going to work until last week when Angel practically had to drag him into the shower and down the stairs just to let him get some work done.”

“Angel?” Buffy asked. She had been overwhelmed with the story she had just heard. She couldn’t imagine the things that William must have felt when he learned about his wife dying. They had just had a baby and now she was already dead, just like that.

“That’s his lawyer” Joyce replied. “Don’t ask how he got his name,” she explained her unasked question.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“Yeah… Peaches. I’ll get to it okay!” William half shouted into the receiver as he slammed it down. Angel had been bugging him about this and about that. That they should take action now blah…blah. “Bloody hell!” he exclaimed as he tried to work his way through the mounts of paper on his desk.

“Waahhh… Waahh…” there was a cry from the end of the hall.

William tried to ignore the cries as he ran his hands through his hair. “God damn it! Where’s that nanny!” he cursed as the cries got louder. Finally giving up he rose from his seat and made his way down the hall to the slightly ajar bedroom door of his daughter.

As he entered the cries decreased into whimpers. He walked over to the crib and looked down on the little bundle below. Prue was staring right at him big brown eyes watering with tears. Immediately William’s heart melted at that as he gave his little girl a small smile he let his hands touch her sides which she complied with by placing her small hand around his finger.

“Dada…” she said or at least that’s what William thought she had uttered with her tongue.

For the first time since…well a long time a genuine smile had form in his face. All William could do was stare back into those chocolate brown eyes in astonishment. His little girl could talk she just said ‘dada’ his mind was screaming. ‘DADA’ you git. She just said ‘dada’.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“I think this will be ready in just a bit.” Joyce announced as she returned the cover of the pot back on. “Can you get me a couple of bowls my dear.” She asked Buffy.

“Waahh…Waahh” they heard from the monitor on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, that must be Prue” Buffy said as she handed the bowls to Joyce as the cries got louder. “Better hurry before Sir Will’s head explodes,” she joked as she ran out the kitchen and up the stairs.

As she was walking down the hall, she heard the cries lower both on the monitor in her hand and the sounds coming from the room. Her feet moved faster fearing the worst for Prudence never stopped crying until somebody came to her aid. As she neared the door. She heard a voice from inside.

“That’s right princess, it’s daddy. And it’s all going to be alright…” she heard… was it William? She peeked her head through the door and her assumption was right. It was indeed William beside the bassinet running his hands beside Prue as if afraid that if she held her he would hurt her.

“You know, she likes it better when somebody holds her,” Buffy said as she passed under the threshold and walked over to the bassinet. “Don’t you want to carry her?” she offered.

William faced him with that similar expression of blankness, “what I want, is to be able to get my work finished. And the only way I’ll be getting that is by not being disturbed. Meaning… I want peace and quiet.” He told Buffy as he backed away from her ready to go out that door. “Do you understand Ms. Summers? I hope this does not happen again.” He said lastly as he vanished from Buffy’s sight.

Buffy was in utter shock as William exited the door. How numb and crude can a person be. Did he just change his attitude in a flick of a finger? Buffy couldn’t believe how pretentious he was being. It was obvious that he was having a good time staying with his daughter and then… and then… ‘gaah’ she cried. And why does he keep calling her Ms. Summers?

She was momentarily distracted by the cries a certain baby was making below her. As she picked her up and swayed her from side to side to get her back to sleep. She had one goal in mind, to make William realize what he’s missing, someway somehow she’d be able to make him see that being with his daughter isn’t as terrifying as he had seemed to have perceived it to be. ‘Somehow…’

to be continued...

Chapter 3

“Meeting at nine, brunch with the Simpsons, board meeting at two and Mr. Angel asks to speak to you.” Said a brunette holding a clipboard in front of her as she told William his agenda for the next day.

“Peaches is making appointments now?” He asked sarcastically.

“No. His secretary called and told me that he was on his way over… now.” she said that last part simultaneously with the opening of the door of the study where Angel came strolling in. “I’ll leave you two alone.” She said as she went out the door closed behind a brunette holding a baby boy that had just entered.

“A visit? Wow, did something horrific happened that you had to come here for… and you brought in the whole family…” he said as he waved to Angel’s wife and kid at the back getting themselves comfortable on the sofa by the door.

“Haha!” Angel swinged his leg over the table and got in on what William is reading. “Guess you did hire a nanny huh?” he said as he held the piece of paper in the air to read. “Summers… pretty girl…” he said as he saw her picture and replaced the resume back on the table.

“Yeah… pain in the butt more like if you ask me…” he scoffed.

“Anyway… I’m here to REMIND you—“

“Yeah…yeah…” he cut him off as he waved his hand in the air and approached the mother and child.

“Have you looked—“

“How’s our little bit here…” he said as he swept the baby boy off her mom’s arms and swung him in the air which caused the baby to laugh out loud. “Daddy taking care of you rather than,” he threw a glance Angel’s way, “getting into other people’s business.”

Angel gave up and sent off a sigh as he flapped his arms in the air as if saying, ‘fine…fine.’

“Actually, there are other reasons why we came here,” the woman said speaking for the first time.

“And what is it then?” he asked nonchalantly as he continued making funny faces for the baby to laugh at.

“It’s Conner’s birthday this coming weekend and we’re having a party at the manor. We thought you could come being Conner’s godfather and all and you could bring Prue along too… you know to let her meet other kids.” She invited him.

“Oh, I don’t know… Cordelia,” he declined as he set Conner back into her mother’s arms and started for his desk. “I have a lot of work to catch up to and I’m not very good with the kids.”

“Not good with kids!” Angel exploded, “you were just playing with Conner for God’s sake!” As soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted it and asked Cordelia and Conner to go on and look for Prue and keep her company while he talks some sense into William. As soon as they were out the door, “Is there something wrong that you are not telling me?”

“There’s nothing wrong… okay,” he replied, “I’m just not in the mood for a party, that’s all.”

“Not in the mood…” he echoed. “You have to get over her Will. She would have wanted you to.”

William darted a threatening look over his way, “It has nothing to do with that!”

“What is about then?” he answered back, “Is it about Prudence?”

“Why do you always presume it has something to do with her?” he asked quite defensively. “I just don’t want to go!” and they continued ramming down each other’s throat but neither getting anywhere.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“Hey can I come in?” Cordelia asked as she tapped on the door and entered Prue’s bedroom where Buffy was watching over her by the playpen. “I’m Cordy” she introduced herself, “Angel’s my husband,” she said as she set Conner down beside Prue.

Buffy complied with a smile. “I’m –“ she extended her hand to shake.

“Buffy.” Cordelia cut her off. “I know,” she responded with a tight smile. “I think they’re having an argument or something, you know how they are.”

“Actually, I don’t… I’m new here.” She said as she continued to watch Prue go over to Conner’s side and grab her stuff Barney away from him. “Prue, learn to share,” she chided her as she grabbed the stuff animal and brought it back to Conner.

“Oh, yeah Angel told me,” she answered as she gave Buffy an uncanny look ‘that is one in control nanny’.

“Prue!” she chided yet again as the baby continued to take away every single toy Conner took interest in.

“She’s not very good at sharing now is she,” Cordelia observed as she pick Conner up and brought him over to the floor in the middle of them and gave him a stuff pig instead.

“No I don’t think so,” Buffy concluded. “I guess she’s not use to having playmates.”

“You should bring her to the park sometime.” Cordy suggested, “Me and Conner always go to this one down Oxford Street, it’s really nice, very clean.”

“Okay… we’ll definitely see that as an option.”

“Honey…” they simultaneously directed their view at the door as Angel pushed it open. “We should go.”

“Well, it’s nice meeting you Buffy.” Cordy bid goodbye as she carried Conner up. “I’ll see you at the party?”

“Party?” she asked bewildered.

“Yeah, Conner’s birthday Party this weekend,” he voice faded as she went deeper out the hall.

‘Party…’ Buffy thought and just like that a light bulb appeared on the top of her head.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“Cancel that brunch with the Simpson’s, Faith.” William ordered as he walked through the hall and down the stairs. “I’m not in the mood to see that jackass. Postpone—“

He was interrupted as Buffy can tramping in from behind, “Excuse me, sir.” William looked back and asked Faith to move on as he continued his decent down the stairs and asked Buffy to continue. “Ms. Cordy had mentioned that Conner would be having a party this weekend and I was just wondering if what time it was gonna be so I can get Prue ready.”

“We’re not going,” he simply replied as he grabbed his briefcase from Willow and proceeded for the door.

“But-“

“I’m not going Ms. Summers,” he paused and gave her his resolve.

“Sir, I think it would really help Prue with her socializing with kids, she became very-“ Buffy said as she ran after his retreating form.

“We are not going Ms. Summers, what word of that don’t you understand?”

“I just-“

“No. We are not going” he insisted, “if you want to go and take her to the party… fine! Ask Rupert to take you… I can drive myself for the day.” He said as he got in the car and sped down the driveway.

Buffy just stood there dumbfounded, ‘he really does have a lot of issues!’ she concludes as she made her way back into the house. “Hey,” she heard someone say from behind. “He wasn’t like that before you know…”

“Excuse me?” she said as she turned around to see William’s secretary standing behind her holding her clipboard close to her chest.

“I’m Faith. William’s secretary.” He introduced herself as they made their way into the kitchen.

“Buffy,” she complied.

“I know, you’re the nanny.” Faith threw her a smile, “I got you resume this morning.” Buffy raised an eyebrow at her direction. “He asked for it.” She just nodded her head in understanding. “So, how’s he treating you?”

“Is bad enough of a word to describe it?” she said with a smile, which caused the brunette to laugh. “But no really… he’s just…” Buffy trailed off.

“Cold?” she supplied.

“Yeah,” she agreed.

“Damn hot though!”

“Uh huh,” Buffy said trying to sound like she didn’t care. Of course she definitely agreed if there was something on the positive side of William’s attitude it was that he was attractive and that’s about it, at least that’s what Buffy insisted on.

“He was so different before.” Faith reminisced, “So cocky! Not that, that was any better but…After that he just dramatically changed.”

“After what?” she asked though already having a slight idea on what the brunette was referring to.

But Faith continued on as if not hearing a word, “Of course who could blame him… I guess he just wouldn’t want to get too attached just in case…” she caught herself just before she said it.

“In case what?” Buffy asked intrigued. Maybe this could possibly help her with her hopeless mission or maybe not but she just really wanted to know.

“I’ve already said too much,” Faith replied cryptically. Buffy opened and closed her mouth a couple of times trying to interrupt but Faith just went on and on. “I think I better go, get back to the… yeah…” she said as she swiftly disappeared out of the door.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“Be careful, Prue.” Buffy reminded as if the she could understand her as she played with the piles of leaves on the garden had fallen from the trees. Going under and jumping over them. “So what was that you were saying?” Buffy asked her cousin as she took on last look at Prue’s direction.

“I said, I think that you should consider staying here longer,” Willow said as she and Buffy sit underneath the oak tree watching Prue play with the many leaves that have fallen off because of the season. She deliberately asked the gardener to keep them in one pile this morning because she wanted to see how Prue would react to multitudes of leaves at her dispense. “You’re really doing Prue a lot of good.” And indeed she was the baby had been closer to Buffy than anybody else in the household. She had been giving her extra attention more than what she was used to and Willow knew that, that was something Prue really needed especially with the absence of her mother and her almost always absentee father.

“I don’t think I’m fit for the job, Willow…plus William already hates my guts as it is.” Buffy really enjoyed her job more than she would have expected she would. She never knew how much she loved kids until now, she wanted to teach Prue so much… she wanted to show her so much of what is out there in the world. It’s such a shame that her father hardly takes her out to the park, to the mall or even around their mansion of a house. All day she’s always kept within the quarters of her room not being able to see anything except the pink walls of her bedroom. She couldn’t see herself staying here longer than she’s needed. She knows that William would be more than glad to fire her if only he had another choice and she’s not going to go against his wishes. “As soon as there’s a replacement I’ll go.”

“I don’t think he hates you per say… to tell you the truth I think he likes you.” Willow commented as she watched Prue crawl underneath the heft of leaves then stick her head out right in the middle giggling in the process.

“Like me?” she scoffed. “As if!”

“No really!” the redhead insisted.

“Well he’s not showing it very well then.”

“Is that so?” Willow teased, “Then why is he looking out from his window right at this moment.”

Immediately Buffy’s head turned 180 degrees as she stared up at the window where William’s study resided and indeed he was looking at their direction and as soon as he saw her he quickly let go of the curtain hiding his presence in the process. “Well that’s something…”

“I told you he likes you…” Willow insisted on like a high school girl insisting on the newest gossip she had heard.

“He probably was just checking up on Prue…” she reasoned and Willow gave her a ‘really?’ look saying, “Is he checking up on Prue? Or is he checking up on YOU?” Buffy just shrugged her shoulders in response as if she didn’t give a care as she went over to the pile of leaves and picked Prue up ready to get her cleaned up. ‘If he really does like me, maybe I can use that to my advantage’ she plotted in her mind as she went into the house and got themselves ready for dinner.

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“Change that. And for God’s sake tell Peaches to stop calling me!” William reminded Faith as he swung the door into the dinning room.

“Now is that the right language to be saying in front of your child?” Joyce chided as she placed the cooked dishes on the table.

“Good evening!” was Buffy’s welcome beside Prue who was sitting on her high chair that was positioned just beside the head of the table.

“I’ll leave you people be. Enjoy dinner!” Joyce exited the room through the kitchen followed by some of her helpers.

William was astonished to see them or rather anybody since he usually always takes his dinner on his own. “Do you need anything Ms. Summers?”

“No.” Buffy complied as she fed Prue a spoonful of porridge.

“What are you doing here then?” William asked as he sat on the head of the table and started to help himself to the food in front of him.

“Me and Prue just thought we would join you for dinner.” She answered simply as she sat on the chair right beside Prue. “You don’t mind, do you?”

William just shook his head as he took a drink out of his glass of water. Time pass as neither said a word.

“Will you be busy tomorrow?” Buffy asked and broke he silence that had befallen the room for the last ten minutes or so.

“Come again?” William looked up from his plate to see Prue playing with her spoon making the carrots and potatoes mushier than they already are as she tried to get the spoon reach her mouth but fail miserably and try again. That’s something amazing about kids he thought. They are so innocent that they don’t know what’s failure they keep on trying until there is none. They never give up.

“I asked if you were to do anything tomorrow?” William answered her with a question asking why it was to be any of her business. “I thought you could join Prue and me at the party.”

William looked at her with a mixture of impatience and exasperation, “You really are that stubborn aren’t you?” he shook his head. “What word of no, never and leave me out of it don’t you understand? Should I ask Willow to get you the dictionary maybe?”

“I was just trying to ask.”

“And ask you do over and over again!” He ran his hand through his hair as he got up from his seat and threw his napkin on the table. “The answer is no… and that’s not going to change.” Hearing this, Buffy found him out of the room with the door swinging behind him. She had a feeling that his ‘never’ was not just for tomorrow but for something all together too.

to be continued...

Chapter 4

“Which do you like better the pink or the purple?” Buffy held up the two tiny dresses in her hand. The whole weekend she had tried again and again to persuade William to join them at Conner’s birthday party. But he too repeatedly declined not stating any kind of explanation or alibi for his refusal. That’s didn’t stopped Buffy though for she constantly followed him and continued to ask him the same question saying it in as many ways as she can. “Would you be coming with us?” “Prue would love it if you would come.” “Angel called asking for you to come.” “Ms. Joyce said that you should go.” but she got the same answer every single time. “NO!”

Finally last night she gave up and retreated from his study with a huff, not forgetting to leave one of her witty retorts, ‘You’re not just declining an invitation you’re losing your daughter in the process too.” hoping that somehow it might swing him a little as she shut the door behind her.

Prue cooded in reply. “I like the pink one better too.” She said as she hung the purple furry dress back on the closet and started to get Prudence dressed. There was a knock at the door, “Yeah…” she called as she fit the dress down her tiny legs.

Willow peeked her head in, “Mr. Giles is here. He said he’s ready whenever you are.”

“Thanks, Will.” She replied as she went over to the dresser leaving Prue in the playpen. “What do you think, should I braid her hair or what?” she walked back with a handful of clips and pins in her hand.

Willow entered the threshold and walked over to where they were. “I think braiding her hair the band style would look really adorable” she offered her opinion. Buffy nodded her head and began the task at hand. “So I assume the persuading didn’t go very well.”

“That guy is one hard nut to crack!” she commented as she twisted Prue’s hair into a braid. “He’s soooo grrr! I don’t know, something!” Willow was curious why her cousin was so keen on bringing William along with her and Prue but that thought was put to rest when she asked “How do you put up with him?”

“It’s an art really… they should have it on the Olympics next time” she mentioned out loud. Buffy just nodded her head giving her a small smile as she dismissed her thoughts. “But he’s really nice once you get to know him.”

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed as she finished her job and started to grab Prue and her stuff and headed for the stairs as Willow went in another direction saying she’s got to finish some folding. ‘Like he’ll change’

“Hey!” she heard someone call from the opposite side of the hall, as a figure came jogging towards their direction she continued her decent down the steps Prue in one arm. “Aren’t you gonna wait for me?”

“I thought you weren’t coming?” Buffy asked as they descended the stairs William beside her.

“Well, Cordy called this morning asking me to come… for Conner of course.” He shrugged his shoulders, “what can I say, I can’t refuse a lady…” he trailed off as he took the steps two at a time surprisingly in a good mood.

“But the whole week—am I not –“ Buffy trailed off as she followed him out the door. “Is your Daddy weird or what?” she asked Prue but she just stuffed her head in her neck as Buffy shook her head.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“Okay kiddies, let’s have our lunch. I’m sure your little tummies are growling right now” she said with a smile. “When we’re done the magic show will be up next!” the host announced as the guest dispersed themselves into their own tables.

‘Now he’s feeding her…’

“What?” William asked at Buffy’s stare.

“Huh?” she said quite disoriented, “nothing…” she replied as she tried to keep her eyes from lingering. Buffy felt surprised because for some miracle that particular day William was being extra affectionate to his daughter. He had carried the baby around as soon as they passed the threshold of the O’Conner’s Manor as if showing off to that world that he’s the proudest father. Buffy considered that maybe it was just from the lack of sleep or from what she had mentioned last night but the back of her mind whispered something else… that something was up.

After their meal that consisted of nothing but the most delicious gourmet food money can buy, what rich people can afford, the magician who seemed to have ate way too much on the count of he was turning green, literally, was up on stage ready to perform. He invited the children to take the front row center chairs to be able to get the full view, the children scurried themselves in their chairs. William had angled his seat to face the stage as he sat Prue on his lap bouncing her there in the process as she too did the same.

With each performance, the children ‘oohhed…’, ‘aahhhed’ and clapped their little hands vigorously as Lorne, as the magician called himself, successfully completed each act. “Okay, now kids this will be the last act.” The children groaned at that. “But,” he added, “this will be the best performance yet” which caught the attention of the kids who were staring right at him. “But first I’ll be needing a volunteer from the audience.” He looked at the crowed scanning the guest around him. The children raised their hands wanting to partake in the act. “No, no children.” He shook his head, “this time I’ll be needing a volunteer from the grown ups!” he said as he continued to scan the crowed and came a stop, a smile forming on his lips. With that all the children including the adults looked at the direction he was staring at. “You!” he called with much enthusiasm as if he had found the holy grail. “Billy Idol wanna be.”

All eyes were on William as he pointed at himself as if asking ‘me?’ and Lorne answered him, “Yes, you, sweetcheeks! Come on right up!”

William shook his head in refusal, all eyes were on him including Angel’s which he threw a devious look at, ‘Peaches probably set it up, that ponce!’ and Buffy who had a smile on her face, a smile he couldn’t quite decipher the meaning of. Lorne was coming down on him ready to pull him up the stage. “Come on! Help a fella out… for the kiddies.” He said as he extended his hand as an invitation or simply a way to pull him up the stage if he refuses.

William darted a look at Buffy’d direction which Lorne misinterpreted, “Would it be better if the misses came?” he said as he pulled Buffy to her feet. Her eyes went as big as saucers at the thought of her going up the stage and doing god knows what! “Come on now!” Before neither could complain about the green magician’s remark they were already being pushed up the stage as the audience clapped their hands encouraging them while the two blondes look at each other with sheer embarrassment. Prue was still on William’s arm as they stood atop the stage the whole crowd looking at them with amusement.

“I’ll take her…” Angel offered to release William of Prue. Utter delight over his friend’s discomfort seen right through him.

“Okay,” Lorne turned his focus back to his audience, “Our next and final act would be the disappearing act. And here to help me is my lovely assistant, Fred come on out!” he introduced as a fairly dress lady came out from the right pushing a big black box with her positioning it at the middle of the stage. “Now the lovely Fred would be assisting our couple inside the box…” he trialed off as Fred asked the two blondes to get inside the box and whispered, “It’s gonna get a bit dark… don’t panic.” Then with that she let go of the curtain as Lorne continued talking to the children.

“Oh how original, the double curtain act!” William commented quite smugly.

“Tough it out, Big bad!” she dubbed him as she gave him an amusing smile.

Soon Buffy felt the walls moving as if it were closing in on her. She never told anybody that she was claustrophobic, actually she herself didn’t know until recently. It was when she was doing her practicum in one of the hospitals she was working on. It was fine really until they let her get some towels at the supply closet which was no problem until the door got stuck. She called for help and her co-worker said he’d be right back then the lights went off for some bizarre reason and she suddenly felt like the walls were moving in on her. Until then even elevator rides scared her, though she could take them she always preferred to stay away for she also got stuck in one before.

And now her situation is really making her feel uneasy as she tried to collect herself. Instinctively closing her eyes from fear and holding on to something is what she always does or to shout, but that’s not really an option right now, and this time it was William hand she held on to as her body shook slightly from fear. “Oh my god…” she breathed as the grip on William’s hand tightened.

He didn’t know what got into him but he had this urge to comfort the woman beside him, maybe it the old English man in him. “Hey it’s okay…” he placed his hand over hers and gently drew circles at the back of her hand to ease her tension. He had no idea why the woman’s hand beside him was shaking but he really didn’t give it much thought as he continued to soothe her.

“Oh god… oh god…” Buffy continued to mutter under her breath as they heard Lorne show the audience the empty box.

“Scared are we, luv?” William asked in a teasing manner which caused Buffy to notice their conjoined hands and quickly pulled hers away. Soon they heard Lorne say to the audience that they were gonna bring them back as Buffy recited a mantra of curse under her breath until she felt William’s hand clasping over hers giving her a reassuring squeeze.

The drum rolled as Fred opened the curtain and two blonde could be seen holding each other’s hand as the audience clapped.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“Isn’t it just sweet!” Buffy commented as she helped Joyce cook again the morning breakfast. Prudence was still asleep so she thought she’d help around the house since she was already up. “You hardly see a guy do such a thing… and from him nonetheless!” She got plates out of the cup board and placed coffee on a Styrofoam cup. “I mean not that I liked it…” she backtracked. “It’s just well, it was surprising. That’s all…” she said with a smile.

“Well you should have seen him before…” Joyce shook her head in resentment as she spread some butter across the toast. “A year ago from now maybe, he was so full of life, so full of spirit.” She placed the toast on one of the plates. “You would have loved to meet him. It just takes time… he’ll come around…”

Before Buffy could give a reply, the doors of the kitchen swung open William on the other side a smile, rarely seen, on his face. “Good morning ladies!” he said quite cheery as he took his cup from Buffy not forgetting to give her a wink when he did.

Buffy’s cheeks went pink as she answered his gesture with a smile.

“You seem to be in a good mood today, Will dear.” Joyce said as she handed him a plate of toast much like a mother forcing his son to eat his breakfast.

“Not really… just feeling extra chirpy that’s all!” and with that he was out the door as Rupert drove out of the driveway.

“See, he’s coming around already!” Joyce said as she picked up the untouched plate of toast and shook her head.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

“Yeah… I want you to get right on to that okay. No more slacking off.” He warned onto one of his employees. Since he’d been gone for the last couple of months he noticed a downfall in production. What people do when they know their boss wouldn’t be looking over their shoulders. Good thing Angel came in from time to time making sure things are still in order or else he wouldn’t know what could have happen; which could have added up on his in-laws insistent dislike of him. Now with Drusilla gone he didn’t know if they were to be placing more pressure on him or just leave him be. He hoped it was the latter but knowing his in-laws he doubted it.

As he ended his call he spun on his chair. “Angel…” he acknowledged his lawyer and somewhat best friend’s presence as the brunette stride into his office with much confidence.

“Hey, how’s our big star dad doing huh?” Angel sneered as he swung his legs over William’s desk. “Good thing you came to the party, put in a good face and all.” He poked at some of his pens and played with the pendulum, seemingly ever so comfortable. “Saw you making it good with the nanny… Betty was it?” he told him as he raised his eyebrow at him and came over to the large window behind William and stared out into the city.

“It’s Buffy…and I wasn’t “making it good” as you put it.” He answered.

‘Keep telling yourself that…’ “Anyway, it does not matter… I say that the in-laws bought it hook line and sinker” William simply shook his head in dismay and closed his eyes briefly for his comment. But tough times call for tough measures, you got to what you got to do. “Now, I was thinking…”

“No more!” William stopped him before he can even relay his plan. “That was enough.”

“Just hear me out-“

“No!” he looked at him with resolve but he too carried the same expression. As William felt himself slowly crumble, he wondered if the prize at the end of the tunnel was worth this whole sham.

to be continued...

A/N: I had a rough time writing this, so I haope it's okay. Thanks for all those who reviewed BTW. Glad you're all liking the story.

A/N: This chapter was written on x'mas last year, so it might not be fitting on now's season... but you can just imagine it :D And I see I've got a lot of questions. Well I won't be answering any of them you have to keep on reading to find out. I know I'm being evil but hey... :D THanks for the reviews! Keepn on reading!
Chapter 5

Snow flakes fell upon the window pane signaling the season’s festivities. Houses were being lit up every night with Christmas trimmings, buying trees and making snow mans outside ones house. From the luxuriant neighborhood, there was one house that stood out from the crowd though, but not because of its lavish decorations but rather the lack of it.

“Why don’t we decorate?” Buffy asked out of the blue staring out of the window from breakfast nook at their cottage watching the snow flakes fall. She hasn’t been around the neighborhood much, except for when she would go with Prue from the park and back but she noticed their household’s distinction from the rest of the homes at Culsber Hills.

Going to the park with Prudence was something she didn’t get away with easily. When she thought that she and William were in even ground, she decided to ask permission but he down right declined. That definitely caught her off guard but through persuasion and much more persuasion he did agree with a hell a lot of terms. She heard of overprotective fathers but this was insane.

“Well,” Willow replied as she came out holding two mugs of hot chocolate. “You can if you want to.” She suggested as she sat across Buffy. “You can begin with this little cottage, maybe place a tree there.” She pointed to the space the side table occupied beside the couch. “A wreath on the door, lights on the windows… Oh! And stockings! On the- well we don’t have a chimney. But we can make one out of cardboard!” the redhead trialed off.

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“Ohhh… Shiny!” Buffy was between the mass of boxes up in the attic sifting through them deciding on which things were useful enough for her to salvage. Joyce had told her that morning that she might be able to find some used Christmas trimmings up in the attic when she mentioned her predicament. She said that pretty much everything that even had a slight memory of their employer’s wife was kept up there and that included everything that had anything to do with the upcoming season for she had always been the one who decorated the house with the outmost gladness. She even held parties every Christmas Eve and it wasn’t just any other party, it was an occasion that had the whole street talking.

That in mind, Buffy had big hope that her task might be easier than she thought. Later during Prue’s afternoon nap she snuck out of the room and proceeded upstairs. But once she opened the door to the attic, that previous thought was soon out the door. For what was right in front of her were mounts over mounts of boxes and chest drawers not to include a couple of boxes marked ‘clothes’ ‘Spike’ and some that were left unlabeled. The first thought that went through her mind were, ‘rich people sure do have a lot of junk’.

Satisfied with the one box she had filled with strings of Christmas lights, red and green banners, some wreaths and a couple of hand made ornaments she decided to bring them down now before they get too heavy for her to carry. Lifting the box she almost fell over with its weight but managed slightly as she maneuvered herself around the other boxes stocked up in the middle of the room. The load she was carrying was so full that she could hardly see the path she was walking on thus she tripped and fell flat on her face the contents of her package spilled onto the floor. “Shoot!” Buffy cursed as she straightened herself and looked back to the object that had caused her fall. Hanged over one of the boxes was a… leather coat, Buffy presumed as she looked closely at the material. As she stuffed the clothing back into its box to avoid later accidents she saw that the box was labeled ‘Spike’. ‘Who the hell is Spike?’ she thought but dismissed it anyway as she tried to place all the stuff that had fallen from her box right back into it.

Filling the container up to the brim she saw a notebook lying on the floor that must have fell out of one of the boxes with her fall. Instead of just placing it back. Her curiosity got the better part of her as Buffy opened the notebook up and learned that it was a diary.

September 29, 1997

Today we moved into a new house on Culsber Hills. The house was incredibly beautiful but of course I already expected that. Spike said that this would serve as one of his gifts for me for our upcoming first year anniversary. He had been working extra hard since we got married and it really troubled me whether he have lost interest but seeing and being inside this house-mansion right now, I know that this was what he was working for. He strived for me. He wanted to prove to my parents that he could take care of me unlike what they had assumed. Spike had been proving them wrong and it’s all for me. He is indeed the best husband anybody could ask for. I would never regret the decision I made in the altar that blessed day.

Attach with the entry was a picture of a man and a woman in front of the house they are living in right now except it seemed different. The woman was pure beauty with white skin and her hair the complete opposite of it. She was cuddled in the arms of a man, who Buffy assumed was her husband ‘Spike’. He was in complete black attire with black boots and she noticed the leather coat she had tripped upon earlier as the same coat the man in the picture was wearing. From what she could see he seemed to have slicked back bleach blonde hair with a boyish grin on his face. To Buffy he looked a hell like her employer Mr. Bennedict yet seemed totally different at the same time too.

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“Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
'Tis the season to be jolly. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Don we now our gay apparel Fa-la-la, la-“ Buffy was cut short of her singing when somebody surprised her beneath the stairs causing her almost to fall yet again. “Oh!” she breathed out, “that was close.” She said to herself then half-shouted to the person, “What the hell is wrong with you…” she voice died down as she saw who was in front of her blocking her way. Instead of explaining herself she just walked right pass him and proceeded down the hall and down the other flight of steps.

“Ms. Summers?” William called after her as he followed her. Finally catching up with her, he inquired, “What were you doing up in the attic?”

Buffy faced him briefly then continued down the stairs as she answered his question. “I was just looking for some Christmas decorations to adore this house. I found quite a lot. I’ll probably be done by today, then I can start putting them up tomorrow. I already asked for the help of Mr. Giles and Ms. Joyce.” she said her reply with outmost ease as if it were the most normal thing for her to do. “Speaking of that, can I please have some cash?” Buffy reached the last of the step and placed her box down on the floor. “I was thinking of buying a pine tree and putting it over here,” she pointed to the blank spot between the two flights of stairs. “I found a lot of ornaments up in the attic that I’m sure with a little bit of cleaning they would look great around here.” Buffy said with a grin, eager for her plan to be put into action.

Silence fell before the bomb drop. “No.” William answered dead on.

“And why is it?” Buffy asked sounding not much like an employee talking with her employer.

“Because.” He answered as he began to make his way into the study.

“Because?” Buffy followed his track, just to have the door shut right up her face. Buffy stopped short the door barely missing her face. With a huff she barged through the door. “Why must you always opposed to everything I want?”

William looked up from his desk an inquiring look on his face, but Buffy answered his look with a straight face. “I wouldn’t have to oppose if you don’t wish to do of what I don’t approve.” He answered her matter-of-factly.

“But what I do is harmless,” she argued.

“Then it won’t matter whether it happens or not…” he said not really as a question but as a mean of ending their conversation. But Buffy didn’t see it that way as she tried to argue yet again. But before she could get a word in, “that’s the end of discussion, Ms. Summers. I suggest you go upstairs and check up on Prue. I think she’s up from her afternoon nap. You can go now.” He said as he looked back down on his desk.

Seeing no hope in the situation right at the moment, Buffy turned back and went out the door heart broken but mind set into convincing William to change his.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
December 12, 1997

In just a matter of 13 days before me and Spike’s first Christmas here in our new home. I had gone to the mall today and bought thousands of Christmas trimmings that I think would look divine hanged on the tree that Mr. Giles had picked out. I decided to buy a real tree this year. I always loved the smell of fresh pine. Who cares if I have to sweep the floor every minute the smell of pine just makes Christmas more Christmas-y! I wish Spike would like the way I would set it all up I can’t wait for his reaction once I’m finished!


“What is wrong with him!” Buffy came barging into the kitchen doors swinging as Joyce calmly looked in her direction then continued preparing dinner. She sat down on the kitchen island with a huff, “Not because he’s miserable means that everybody should be too. Christmas is the one thing people are supposed to look forward too. My favorite holiday nonetheless…” she pouted for a second or so then sat up, “And he’s not gonna mess it up for me or anybody else!” she said out loud, striding out of the room, as if determined to win the war to stop the apocalypse.

“That’s good,” Joyce said to the empty air as she stirred silently by the stove.

to be continued...

A/N: Again I say, pretend it's x'mas time :D
Chapter 6

December 24, 1997

I went Christmas shopping today and I gotta say the mall is packed with people. I guess no matter how early they start the Christmas sales and all that people still fall for the last minute Christmas rush. As I was walking around the mall I came to pass upon a baby store. They had the most adorable Christmas decorations out of all the stores I have seen. On their window display was a little carriage and inside was a mannequin baby in a red sweater matching the two taller mannequins beside it clearly to be assumed as the parents. As the image lure me closer, I saw a couple pushing a stroller with a little baby girl inside, come out of the door. As they strode off, I can’t help but feel my heart sink. I know that the one thing that Spike wants is a baby. Something I think I could never give him, at least for now. For months we have been trying but nothing happens. He always assured me that it was okay, that our baby will come in the right time but I know deep down inside he was always disappointed with me. I wish I could give him the one thing he yearned for… his little Christmas wish.

“Are we done with the shopping then?” Joyce asked as she entered the kitchen and went over to the cupboard looking for something.

Buffy was by the quarters’ table wrapping the gifts she had bought the day earlier. One would wonder who she would really need to buy gifts for. She was new here in England and hardly knew anybody but she wanted to give Joyce, Mr. Giles and of course Willow something for Christmas, as they say Christmas is the time for giving. They have been the mall for over four hours before the two had actually started to buy something.

“So what do you think of this one?” Willow held up a red sweater modeling against her body as she looked into the mirror. She and Buffy had decided to take the day off to finally start and hopefully finish on the much a due Christmas shopping.

From the racks Buffy was looking through, she looked over at Willow direction and walked over behind her. “I don’t think reindeers look very good on you, cuz.” She patted the redheads shoulder as Willow gave out a huff and returned it on the rack finally giving up and exiting the shop.

“So, have you heard from Lakeside yet about that job?”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, “They called me the other day and I got in!” Buffy said excitedly, “They wanted an answer in a couple of weeks. As if I needed time to think really. I mean I’d take it in a jiff! But of course I didn’t tell them that… don’t want them to think I’m too eager.” Buffy said pretty proud of herself for her self-control, before she would have jumped up and down and thank the person on the phone a thousand times. But that was the old Buffy, the new Buffy is much more serious, she’s in the ‘real world’ now. And if that meant being professional and all that crap then she’ll do it.

“Well… good for you, Buff. I’m happy for you” Willow congratulated her cousin. “The perfect Christmas gift from Santa huh.” Buffy put on a bright smile as she continued strolling around the stores, finally the job she had been waiting for right in front of her. On to being the head nurse and maybe study medicine? ‘Nah…’ her mind joined in.

As they continued their stroll, “I think we should take a seat Buff, cause I swear I think my foot is gonna fall off…” Willow trailed off but Buffy wasn’t paying attention as she stopped deadlocked on something on the store’s window display and let the redhead continue walking until she noticed nobody was at her side and turned back to see cousin staring into the window of the shop as if hypnotized. She could almost actually imagine Buffy looking at the window as if it was the gates to heaven as she followed her into the shop.

“Buffy?” Joyce inquired as she stood before the blonde waving her hand from side to side, which cause Buffy to be pulled away from her reverie.

“Yeah,” Buffy shook her head for good measure as she turned back to the task she was performing. “Me and Willow had a great time, can’t wait for tomorrow!”

“That’s good then. At least some people around this house are excited about the holidays.” Joyce whispered to herself as she grabbed the tray of tea and started for the door.

“Who’s that for?” Buffy inquired as she placed the last of the tape and placed the present she had wrapped in the box beside her.

“The O’Conner’s are in the study, I thought I’ll bring them tea.”

“Oh, why don’t I do that,” Buffy offered as she stood from her place, “you need to get started on dinner soon anyway.” she took the tray from Joyce with a smile.

“Oh my…” Buffy heard Joyce exclaim as she made her wait out the door. “Time sure flies fast.” And couldn’t help but give out a giggle.

As she walked over to the study, she passed by the main hall and noticed how much the house looked livelier with the lights and the little ornaments they have put up around the house. It had taken a lot to persuade William to agree with her to put up the decorations but she did it. Somehow he always seemed to go along with her at the very last second, as if he was making her go through all the trouble of persuasion just to fool around with her to know how far she would take it.

“Oh please! Those things are always a sham” Buffy could hear William’s voice from down the hall as she made her way to the study. They seemed to be arguing about a benefit or something. As per usual her good spirited employer refused to go and his ever so insistent attorney had to come over and persuade him. That’s what Buffy had witnessed the whole time she was here. Angel would come in, talk about a whole bunch of crap to drag William into benefits and auctions and all that whatnot rich people go to. She still does not understand why the hell he really had to show up, it’s not as if William was the light of the party, in her opinion he’d just make things more boring than they already were.

“They expect you to be there!” Angel argued on as Buffy set the tray on the table and saw Mrs. O’Conner on the couch seemingly getting more annoyed by the minute with the two men shouting.

As Buffy exited the room she was followed by a much relived woman who was right on her tail. “Those can really get it on can’t they?” She shook her head as if trying to get the ringing out of her ears. “You’re Buffy right?” and the blonde nodded. “Can we maybe go somewhere… I don’t really feel like going in there again and risking my eardrums exploding.”

Buffy giggled as she led Cordelia upstairs into Prudence’s room.

“I really like what you did with the house,” Cordelia absently commented as they walked down the hallway.

“Thanks!”

When they entered the room, they saw Prue on the crib sleeping soundly with a smile on her face. “You know, I love it whenever Conner does that… they just look the cutest when they smile sleeping don’t they…” Cordelia whispered as she brushed slightly the hair that had fallen over Prue’s eyes.

“Yes they do.” Buffy looked over at Prue a second longer than necessary then went over to switch on the night lamp. The sun was going to set soon and she wouldn’t want Prue waking up to a dark empty room. Switching the monitor on, the two silently retreated from the room leaving an adorable little angel sleeping. “I guess you better get back, they might have torn each other’s head off by now.” Buffy suggested as she ushered the brunette over to the study where they could almost hear the two voices at the end of the hall.

“I said no and that’s final, Angel. You can’t force me into it this time.” William answered as he turned away from Angel looking through the window.

Cordelia came over to Angel’s side and placed her hands on her husband’s bicep as a means of asking him to leave William be. “Okay.” Angel answered though a bit hesitant, “Well see you tomorrow Christmas dinner?” But William didn’t even flinch as Angel and Cordelia retreated the room saying their goodbyes.

Buffy found it awkward to be standing in the room after all the tension that had just happened. Trying to avoid being noticed by William she carefully went over to the coffee table and grabbed the tray of untouched tea.

“I had the right to refuse right?” William asked to no one in particular not moving from his earlier position. “He knows how this occasion meant to her…”

Buffy just stood there mid pick-up deciding on whether to answer the question or just leave saying nothing. But she didn’t have to think of that soon for William turned into her direction asking the same question yet again.

“I-“ Buffy bit her lip as she set the tray back down.

“He never understood!” William ran his hands through his hair as he walked over to the mantel above the fireplace where the portrait of Dru still stood. “I blame myself… I blame myself Buffy!”

Buffy stood behind him dumbfounded. Aside from the fact that this was the first time he called her by her given name, she didn’t know what to do, should she go and tell him he shouldn’t blame himself and that it was no one’s fault when she didn’t actually know what happened. Should she try to go over to him to give him some comfort or should she just stay put and know her place.

“It was because of me and my stupid leisure pursuits I couldn’t settle down. A simple request and I had to argue with her! Damn myself!”

“I told you to sell that bike, Spike! How many times do I have to say, it’s a dangerous vehicle! Do you really want your daughter to grow up without a father!”

Spike was driving with Drusilla on the passenger seat as they made their way to the annual auction the Collingsworth’s held. “Dru, I can’t sell the thing. I’ve had that bike since I was in high school you know that…”

“Yes. But now you have a family!”

“I don’t’ ride it anymore! What’s the problem anyway! It’s just gathering up dust in the garage!”

“Oh don’t you dare lie to me William! I know you rode it in the race track just last week.”

“Now where did you get that silly idea from, pet?” Spike answered trying to concentrate on the road.

“Angel.”

“That ponce!” Spike said to himself gripping the steering wheel.

“It’s a good thing he did. Or else I wouldn’t have know.” Dru looked over at his direction trying to make him take her seriously. “William please you have got to stop doing that…”

“It’s just a past time, luv. Nothing serious is gonna happen to me.” He searched for her hand and squeezed it gently as he assured her. “I promise.” He kissed the back of her hand.

“That what you say now! But how about if something did! What will I do then Spike?”

Spike cracked his jaw from frustration and he let go his wife’s hand as he concentrated back on the road. “Nothing’s gonna happen to me, pet!”

“You don’t-“ Drusilla was cut off as she clutched her abdomen and closed her eyes from a sudden burning sensation she felt.

“Believe in me, Dru! I have been doing this for years!” Spike’s voice got louder with each reason he stated concealing his wife’s wallow for pain. “I have never been injured before. I play with professional clean players only. And you know I would never be reckless for you know I wouldn’t be able to grasp it if something happened to either you or Pru-“ He looked over to the passenger seat to find his wife hunched over the seat sweating from pain. “Dru?” He soothed her back panicking inside as he tried to concentrate on the road.

Drusilla leaned back on the chair eyes closed from pain continuing to clutch her abdomen. Soon Spike saw the pool of blood on her wife’s skirt trailing down her legs as he stepped on the gas.

He had told her everything and she had no idea what to do. Buffy still stood behind William awe stricken. He blamed himself for his wife’s death when clearly it had nothing to do with him. “Why?”

“What?”

“Why was there blood?” It was probably the most stupid thing to say right now but she didn’t know what else to utter, that was the first thing that came out of her mouth.

“Something about soddin blood clotting or something. But it doesn’t matter…” He breathed in hard trying to fight back tears that were ready to fall.

Buffy suddenly found her legs moving on their own as she closed in on him. “It’s not your fault…” Finally they were face to face as William looked up tears straining his cheeks. “It’s not your fault…” she repeated as she caressed his cheek and wiped his tears away. “It’s not your fault…” as their foreheads met.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“I’m sorry to have woken you up this early Mr. Giles.” Buffy said as she sat by the passenger seat as Mr. Giles drove down the road.

“Oh it’s okay… For whom is this sudden Christmas last minute shopping for anyway… at three o’clock in the morning.” Giles couldn’t help but smile at the girl’s extraordinariness.

“For someone who deserves a proper Christmas.”

December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas! Today I woke up receiving the best news ever. Me and Spike were awoken by the insistent ringing of our bedroom phone. I was of course too tired to get up from bed and waited for a good minute and about a fifteen ringing before Spike actually was awaken and answered the phone with a groggy voice. After hearing what the caller had to say he handed the phone to me then buried his face back on the pillow.

“Hello” I greeted as the doctor told met the news and to my surprise I was speechless, I couldn’t say a single word. I probably looked weird staring off into space without saying anything because Spike took the phone from me and asked what was wrong. I think I looked at him as if dumbfounded because he got up from bed and looked at me with the most concerned look his blue eyes could do.

“Something wrong , luv?” I shook my head. “What is it then?” I looked at him in the eye with a gleeful smile on my face.

“We’re gonna have a baby!” and the look on his face was priceless!

The same “Buffy I think you better come down soon. I think the old man’s knees are just about to give in.” Willow laughed.Buffy was on top of Giles shoulders as she finished the finishing touches.

“Make fun of the old man why don’t you.” Giles retorted.

“Okay. Done.” Buffy announced as she jumped own from Giles. Noticing the exchange of banter the two were getting on, “Willow, why don’t you start the lights up huh?”

Willow gave out a pout but did the request nonetheless. As she plugged the socket in, the tree lighted the room up like stars on a dark night as they twinkled on. The pine tree in the middle of the main hallway was so high that it almost reached the ceiling of the second floor. It was wrapped around with lights and stings of popcorn with some beautifully placed ornaments. One that Buffy especially found in the attic about the entry she found on the diary the other day an ornament that symbolized the couples first year on Culsber Hills.

“It’s beautiful, Buff” Willow said walking into the room as she stood beside Buffy staring up into the tree.

“I agree, Buffy. You have definitely done an excellent job…”

“I did a pretty good job, didn’t I?” Buffy said quite proud of herself. The three stood there in awe for a couple of seconds. Before Willow finally gave up and decided that she needed some shut eye.

"Good idea, Willow. I think we all need that. Merry Christmas everyone." Giles said as they all retreated back to their own quarters.

to be continued...

A/N: Again I say imagine it's x'mas =) Thanks ever so much for keeping the reviews coming, they're very much appreciated =)

Chapter 7

December 25, 2003

That was the predicament that morning and boy was Spike excited. After he got over the shock, he leaped out from bed, literally shouting "We're gonna have a baby!" down and hall and came back to bed hugging and kissing me like a mad lunatic! Not that I minded.

Later that night after the family Christmas dinner we had where Spike proudly announced to his family that I was pregnant, he led me to the den where we sat in front of the fire cuddling and simply enjoying each other's company. Out of nowhere he suddenly pulled out from his pocket a single black velvet box. As I opened it I saw the most adorable little Christmas ornament. It was made up of two white turtle doves with beaks meeting as if kissing and in the middle was a baby turtle dove sitting looking up at the two older doves. And of course I melted. He said he couldn't possibly resist it when he saw it on the shop window earlier that day. Isn't he just the sweetest! As I hang the ornament on the Christmas tree, I realized that Spike did get his little Christmas wish.

**********

"Can you please pass the butter?" Joyce asked from her seat at the table. It was Christmas morning and the household staff at the Bennedicts' mansion decided to celebrate the holidays by eating breakfast at the atrium. The snow was falling from the sky; small snowflakes were landing on people's windows. The weather outside was perfect for a day out, make snowmen, snow angels and a good ole snow ball fight. "So, what are your plans for the day?" she asked as she bit down on her bread.

"Well... we-"

"Good morning everyone!" Buffy came into the room with Prue on her right arm, "Merry Christmas!" As each said their greetings Buffy took a seat on the empty spot between Willow and Joyce. "So, how’s everyone doing this morning?" She sat Prue on the high chair that stood beside her.

"I was thinking maybe we have a little bit of snow related fun!"

"I'm gonna prepare for a little Christmas Dinner..."

"Opening presents!"

"Games?"

"Oh! Can we make smores? I looove smores!"

"Good morning." William came into the room with his usual coat and tie, a briefcase in one hand as he went over to the counter to get his morning dose of caffeine.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Bennedict!" Buffy greeted and he just answered her with a nod.

"Joyce." he called, "where's my coffee?"

Joyce rose from her seat, "I thought maybe you'd want eggnog today... or maybe hot chocolate..."

"With little marshmallows!" Willow added as he held her cup up to see.

"No. Coffee would do just fine."

"What?!" Willow exclaimed clearly shocked, William looked at her with a raised brow which caused her to lower her voice, "I mean... you used to love hot chocolate...not that you couldn't change what you like..." Willow trialed off a she realized that she was babbling.

William just smiled in amusement, "I'd just have the coffee."

As Joyce prepared the pot of coffee Buffy stood from her seat asking, "You're going to work?" William gave her a duh look. "But it's Christmas..."

"Does the sun stop shinning on Christmas? Do people stop breathing on Christmas? Do-"

"Okay...! I get the point."

"By the way," he took a sip from his coffee, "I need to talk with you for a second." Buffy stood there waiting, "Outside..." Buffy grabbed the spoon Prue was playing with before she followed William out the door.

"What's this?" He pointed to the big pine tree that Buffy got that morning. She had been lucky enough that a store was even open that early. She and Mr. Giles had been driving around for almost an hour until they came to spot a lone man in front of his door having a few drinks with his buddy clearly to celebrate the holidays. She had asked if they had had any trees left, the man had none then Buffy asked if by any chance he knew a place where she could find one. His buddies had laughed at her saying it was impossible to find an open store this early in the morning let alone find a lone tree this time of the year especially on Christmas day itself. A kind man named Riley Finn had pulled her aside saying an apology for his friends’ reaction saying that it was because they have had a quite to drink. He asked why a pretty lady like her would be needing a tree this late of the season and night. Buffy had told him her reasons about William and Prue and how she thought this might help them both. Hearing this, Riley said that he might have a spare tree out back that he was suppose to reserve for his own home but seeing as Buffy needed it more he would gladly give it to her. At first Buffy was hesitant but Riley insisted thus she took it handling him the cash to pay for the tree but Riley declined saying that it was on the house with that he went back to his buddies as Buffy and Giles dragged the big pine tree back home.

"A Christmas tree."

"Yes I can see that. What is it doing here?"

"For decoration..." Buffy answered as if it was the most logical thing which it probably was.

Silence fell as William observed the thing giving it a once over. "I like it." Buffy smiled feeling proud of herself. "I want it out." Buffy's mouth formed an 'O' shaped, "I want it out by tonight"

"Why?"

"You're really pushing it aren't you Ms. Summers?"

"But its Christmas." she reasoned.

"I know, you think I don't know what a bloody calendar is?"

'So much for thinking I got through one of his barriers last night.' The other night Buffy thought they had shared something intimate. She had comforted him and stayed with him as long as she didn't even know. He had told her about Dru's death and how until this moment he still blamed himself for it. He had admitted that he had changed and it was not because of his mourning for his lost wife but rather maybe... Buffy had said that it could have been fear and he neither agreed nor disagreed with her. They had spent the night talking about that and useless stuff, and to Buffy's surprise they had gotten along well, something she never thought was even possible. "Until tonight...?" Buffy tried to negotiate.

"Now." Buffy couldn't do anything but give out a huff.

**********

"Come'on Prue.... you can do it... Crawl over to Buffy..." Willow cheered the little child on. They had played around in the snow that morning, Prudence wearing the cutest little set of fur coat and mittens she got from Buffy for Christmas. They had made snow mans, snow angels and even threw a couple of snowballs Giles way which was always fun.

"Ata girl!" Giles cheered her as Prue reached Buffy and she swept her up her arms and bounced her in the air.

After breakfast the group went under the big pine tree by the stairs to start opening some presents. William had asked Buffy to take down the tree before tonight, everyone thought that it was such a waste since they had just set it up that morning and they knew how much hard work Buffy had put into the thing. But the blonde just shrugged it of smiling as if it didn't mean anything which made Willow worry a bit about her cousin.

Joyce had received a sweater from Willow, a handbag from Giles and an apron from Buffy which read 'Iron Chef'. Giles got a hat, a tie to match one of his many tweed coats and one of those gloves for driving. Willow got the reindeer sweater from Buffy, a knitted hat from Joyce and a pair of socks from Giles. When it was Buffy's turn to open her present, Joyce handed her a small box.

"Here, I thought it might help you during you long hours at Lakeside." Inside was a canister full of small packs of instant coffee. Joyce couldn't help but give out a smile. "No, really. Here's the real one." she handed her a small figurine. It was a house on top a hill which read Culstber, "A little something to remember us by." Buffy couldn't help but smile and gave her thanks to her and the others.

After everyone have had a chance to open and give thanks for their presents, they all decided to go outside and have some fun in the snow before lunch. Buffy declined to go with them saying she had to take down the tree first before their 'Boss' gets home and have one of his fits. They all agreed and so Giles and Willow went out with Prue as Joyce got into preparing lunch. Buffy looked up at the tree right in front of her, this was probably the most beautiful thing she had created...'oh well' she thought as they pulled out the ornaments out one by one.

Later as the group was playing a game of charades in the living room, William came home from work. "Okay... sounds like... food? meat? steak?" Buffy nodded vigorously, then placed her hand on her heart then stabbed herself acting dead, "stake!" Willow then did the victory dance just as William passed by amusement seen on his face as he watched them play on.

"Okay, so that's 13 points for me and Willow and 3 points for Joyce and Giles." Buffy recapped the score. She then saw Willow slow down with her dance and looked awkwardly behind her. She then swiftly turned her head, "oh... it's you..."

William's eyebrow rose, "Well, it's so nice to hear that you anticipate my arrival, pet." Buffy just rolled her eyes as she gave him a half-hearted smile.

"Do you wanna join us, Mr. Bennedict?" Willow offered.

"No thank you," he declined, "I'll be in the library if you need me..." with that William retreated back to the library. On the way over he passed by the stairs and saw that the tree had been taken down already, the only trace that the tree was even there were the boxes scattered beneath the stairs. He had come home from the office exhausted, not that he really did anything. Actually the office wasn't really open today. What sane person would make Christmas as a work day? The only reason he didn’t want to stay inside the house was because it reminded him way too much of Dru.

No matter how high he put up his guard against the people around him, no matter how reserved and confident he may seem it still remains that he's sensitive about certain things and Christmas just being one of them. This Christmas everything just seemed to remind him of Dru, every little detail, the atmosphere, the weather, the fashion even the scent of the air especially fresh pine reminded him of her. And it's just torture especially since he still blamed himself for her death. Everyone told him, Buffy last night too, that he shouldn't blame himself cause it was never his fault but for him maybe.. just maybe he could have stopped it, that was something that will forever be at the back of his mind.

He opened the door to the study with a huff as he walked over to the mantle where Dru's picture resided. He ran his fingers across the glass frame, "Why did you leave me, Dru?" he whispered into the air as he clutched the frame in his chest and the tears started to fall.

'Knock, knock' William heard a sound coming from the door. He quickly wiped his tears with the back of his hand as he placed the picture back on the mantel, "Come in."

Buffy peek her head into the door, "Mr. Bennedict?" she asked uncertain as William sat down on his chair behind the big oak table. He ushered her to come in further through the threshold. "We were wondering if maybe you would consider joining us downstairs for a simple Christmas dinner Ms. Joyce had cooked up. It looks really delicious."

William answered her with a smile, "No thank you. But you all go and have fun, I'm sure it would be a feast."

"Okay..." Buffy nodded, "Prue's been looking for you....?"

"She's a baby Ms. Summers... she can't differentiate me from Giles or any other male she sees."

"Really?" Buffy challenged him, "Then how come she had recognized you as her Dada before?" Buffy used the exact words Prue had used.

William just followed her with his gaze as she retreated out the study. "Ms. Summers?" He asked when he noticed a black velvet box on top of his table. "What's this?"

"Oh....that…" William waited for her to explain further as silence fell. “Open it…” With that William opened the box and saw something he didn’t really want to see or remember right now. “Do you know what it is?”

William looked up and met her eye, “Of course I bloody know what it is… where did you get it?”

“I found it on one of the boxes… and there was an engraving at the back…”

“And what do you expect to achieve with this, Ms. Summers?” He asked with a raised brow as he raised the white ornament with his hand. It was the three white turtle dove figurine he had given Dru last Christmas, at the back there was an engraving ‘thank you, for the best Christmas present ever -Spike’. How could Buffy have possibly known that this had meant something other than a single token of appreciation.

“I expect you to spend time with your daughter, sir… to give her a second of you precious time, especially this Christmas.” She stated confidently though inside she was shaking, but really what has she got to lose, she was going to quit this job sooner or later anyway, what harm can it really do?

William shook his head, not because of resentment or disagreement but rather because he didn’t really know how to answer her question.

“It’s not too late, William.” She told him as she neared his desk. "making youself and her suffer is not gonna do any of you any good. It's not your fault, William..."

"I can't... she re-"

"Reminds you of Dru?" he didn't flinch so Buffy took that as a yes. "It's not her fault, she didn't wish for any of this... what she needs is a father..." Silence fell as neither said anything and William sank down on his chair head on his hands.

“It’s not that easy….”

“I know, but you have to start somewhere." she tried to meet his eye but he refused to look up, "William.... Spike?... Dru would have wanted you to." He looked up at the mention of his wife's name. "She's in her room." William nodded his head as he followed Buffy up the stairs and into Prudence's room.

Prue was in her room, silently playing with a stuff pig in her playpen, when Buffy and William entered she seized to have heard anything as she continued on playing. William stopped above her looking at her innocently play as if there was nothing else in the world except her and her toys... and he realized that he wanted to part of that world. He wanted Prue to grow up knowing she had a father who didn't just finance her existence in this world but loved her too. He wanted to be part of her life for she was already part of his whether he wanted to or not, she was his daughter and it's gonna remain that way whatever happens and as he said before, he can't possibly grasp life without them, he had already lost the woman he loved the most he's not gonna lose his daughter too.

Minutes pass as he looked longingly at her, Prue picked that moment to look up and stare gazingly to her father. Her innocent brown eyes met his blue ones as she handed him a pink stuffed pig, "go-go" she said as she held her arms up, wanting him to carry her.

William smiled as he obliged with her request and picked her up in his arms, Prue instinctively wrapped her small arms around his neck and placed her head on his shoulder and he never felt so warmed inside, his little girl, his princess in his arms, he's such a moron to have waited this long... but it's better to be late than never. As he rocked her slowly back and forth he couldn't help but break out into song.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird don’t sing,
Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Daddy’s gonna get you a looking glass
And if that looking glass gets broke,
Daddy's gonna get you a Billy goat

Buffy looked at the picture before her and concluded that they looked adorable together like father and daughter and she had no doubt that William would make an excellent father, he had the singing done right already.

Hush oh hush the night birds call
Hush oh hush the dark must fall
And if that Billy goat don’t pull,
Daddy's gonna get you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull turn over
Daddy’s gonna get you a dog named Rover
And if that dog named Rover don’t bark
Daddy’s gonna get you a horse and cart
And if that horse and cart fall down
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town

Buffy gazed at William as he continued to sing and she realized that aside from the obnoxious, rude, self-centered man he had shown her before there was another side to William a side she was beginning to like. He smiled at her when he saw her looking his way, a smile that wasn't just make-face, but a genuine one.

Hush oh hush the night birds call
Hush oh hush the dark must fall

Soon Prue slowly difted off into dream land in his arms, as he placed her back on her crib and tucked her in, he looked at Buffy's way. She was at the threshold of the door prepared to get some rest as she made her way down the hall. William run after her and caught her just before she reached the first step. He caught her mouth in a quick yet sensual kiss then whispered in her ear, "Thank you and goodnight, Ms. Summers." And with that he walked away.

Buffy caught off guard stood there for a good five seconds before replying, "It's Buffy!" she called down the hall making sure to keep her voice low as to not awoke the sleeping child in one of the rooms. "And you're welcome."

to be continued...

Chapter 8

Buffy woke up with a smile on her face; she got out of bed giddily and proceeded with her morning routine. As soon as she reached the door of her charge’s room inside the mansion, she heard activity coming from within. As she opened the door she saw father and daughter by the veranda as William tried pointing out the terrain of the whole street to his daughter.

She slid the glass panel open and knocked softly to announce her presence. William looked back with Prudence tucked securely under his arm. “Hey”, he cleared his throat, “She woke up early, started crying…I thought I’d stay with her for a while” he defended his presence. Buffy nodded in understanding as she offered to take Prue but he turned back to the landscape overlooking the balcony. “See that green hill, princess. Daddy’s gonna build you a castle atop that hill someday… Wouldn’t you like that?”

Buffy went back inside to tidy up the room as William trailed off. It had been the first time William willingly went into her daughters room to spend some time with her and she’s not gonna get in the way of that.

Later as she was finished changing the sheets, William came out from the balcony with a sleeping Prue in his shoulder. “She fell asleep” he whispered as he continued to sway her back and forth. “She hadn’t finished her milk and she fell back to sleep again.”

“She must have been tired,” Buffy concluded as she tuck the last sheet in. “It’s almost lunch, let me take her and start on her porridge just in case she wakes up hungry.” But William decided to tuck her in himself. “I think you should start getting ready for the office, Sir. Faith had been calling nonstop.”

“You can call me William. And had she?” he asked as he and Buffy walked out the room shutting the door behind them as they made their way down the hall.

William fished his cell phone out of his pocket as she punched in some numbers. “Faith-“ Before he could get anything in one could hear the voice of his secretary straining his ear. “Yes-…yes” he answered patiently. “Faith!” he said which caused the voices to stop booming. “I’d like to have all my appointments cancelled and won’t be taking any phone calls,” he looked at Buffy as if awaiting her reaction. As soon as he had finished the voice started booming in again, “Faith, please just reschedule them” with then he flipped the phone successfully cutting the chattering of voices on the other line. “So I was thinking-“

“You’re not going to the office?” Buffy interrupted.

“Actually, I just wanted to sit in all day and do absolutely nothing.” Buffy looked at him astound as if weighing the idea. William couldn’t help but grin at her naivety. “You’re just adorable, pet!” he said mindlessly as they descended the stairs. Buffy followed behind him a bit startled. “So I was wondering, if you have no plans with Prue today, I’d love to take you guys out.”

“Oh really?” William raised one brow in reply. “Well,” Buffy started, “we were supposed to play outside or lock ourselves up in her room and bore ourselves with toys we have repeatedly played with,” she shook her head, “we couldn’t possibly give that up for a day out with you, who I might add have cleared your whole schedule for.” She went pass the swinging doors of the kitchen a bright smile on her face.

“That’s good to hear” William matched her expression, “We’ll leave after lunch? That good?” Buffy nodded in approval. “Great. You guys start getting ready then. Willow,” he called the redhead over who was just sitting at the kitchen island having breakfast with Giles. “Can you come with me for a while; I’ll just need you to pack a few things up.” Willow hastily rose from her seat and followed William out the door.

“He taking you out?” Giles inquired as he sat at the bench nursing his cup of tea.

“Me and Prue actually.”

“Well that’s something…”

“I think William just wanted to spend some time with Prue is all” she defended his actions as she went over to the cupboard and took out pots and pans. “Something we don’t see everyday, but maybe that’s just what the New Year brings.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Ready to load up?” Giles asked from the threshold of the front door of the house as Buffy brought over Prue’s things.

“Yup” she said as she picked Prue up from her stroller to give way for Giles to take it. Just then Joyce followed by Willow came out carrying a couple of bags and a cooler.

“Put this in the trunk too will you?” Joyce handed it to Giles who slumped over because of its weight.

“What is in this?” Giles asked as he hauled it over the trunk of the SUV they constantly used.

Just then a black convertible swiftly halted in front of them all. They all stared at the unfamiliar vehicle with a wary look on their face. The window slowly rolled down, “Well what are you waiting for, Ms. Summer?” William took off the shades that rested on the bridge of his nose, “hop in!”

She couldn’t help but grin at the boyish attitude he had, she felt like a high school girl being picked up by her college boyfriend. “Isn’t Mr. Giles going to drive us?”

“Nonsense” he got out from the driver seat and rested his head on his hands over the roof of the car. “I’ll drive. They can all have the day off if they want.” He walked over to them to relive Buffy of her belongings as he placed the things inside the trunk of his car.

“But-“ he turned to her, eyebrow raised in question. She shook her head, “does the car have a car seat for Prue?” William had a proud smile on his lips as he clicked something in the small remote thing he was holding and the roof of the car opened and on the middle of the backseat was a tiny car seat just the exact size for Prue.

“Are you ready to get going then? Unless of course you want to check if I have the proper kind of brakes or something,” he teased her. She merely narrowed her eyes on him as she placed Prue on the backseat and got on the passenger seat herself. And soon they were speeding down the road.

“So, where are we going?” Buffy inquired, she had been silently seating on the passenger seat. The silence was deafening, fortunately or unfortunately Prue had been quiet the whole car ride making the stillness more unbearable. William briefly looked at her direction as their eyes met before turning his attention back to the road.

“Somewhere special.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Crates were being hauled over trucks as the ships blew their horns signaling their last departure for the day.

It had been quite sometime since he had come over and visited the docks. Drusilla had requested that her ashes be thrown into the ocean when she dies and he did just that even though he thought putting her under the ground would have been more appropriate. After her funeral he had isolated himself from the world, from his family and friends. And that was the last he had visited the place or pretty much anywhere that reminded him of her. But he realized that it was time to move on with his life, she would have wanted him too and maybe this is the first step.

“This was her favorite spot” William declared, not to anyone in particular, “We almost considered getting married here but decided on a cruise wedding instead. She had loved the water.”

They were walking along the docks, private ships were anchored on their left and right as Buffy, pushing Prudence along, followed William to the edge. He stopped on one particular yacht. It was the kind with a cozy small home-like structure beneath, it was indeed a beauty, if you were in to those things that it.

“What’s this?” Buffy asked as she followed William up the yacht. He walked over to the edge of the railing, taking in the blow of the wind.

“This, is Spike’s most prized possession… next to his motorcycle and let’s not forget that piece of metal he passes off as a classic sedan” A voice from behind them answered her question.

Buffy turned around to learn that the voice had come from a man in his mid –thirties. He stood in front of them with his hair all up in the wrong places, he looked liked someone who had just woke up from sleep but nonetheless offered Buffy a warm smile then approached William. William offered him a handshake but he seemed to be over formalities as he pulled William in for a hug, tapping his back a couple of times in the process.

“So how you’ve been my man?”

“I guess I’m doing okay and it’s William now,” William replied as he explored his yacht more closely, “You been taking care of Edith here?”

“Of course! I practically live here!”

“I can see that, Clem” William threw an awkward glance towards Clem’s messed up hair, “I can definitely see that.”

Clem chuckled as he run his hands through his hair to try to smoothen it out, “Not that I’m complaining of course, this thing is better than any apartment I could find, at no cost too.” They turned back to the front of the vessel; William satisfied that nothing major damage had happened to it. “So who’s the lady? Don’t you think we’re moving on just a little too fast?” He said meant as a joke which William seemed to take differently as he sent him a death-defying stare. Clem just held his hand up as a sign of surrender.

“This is Buffy,” William introduced the two, “Prue’s nanny” he stressed a little too much for Clem’s comfort. “Buffy, this is Clem. A friend I met along in the business who also happens to be taking care of Edith for the past month or two.”

They both extended their hand to shake exchanging they’re pleasantries. “Edith? The boat you mean?” Buffy asked.

“Ye-“ Before William could answer her question, Clem had cut him off.

“It’s not just a boat, sweetie. It’s a yacht, a very important yacht for this boss of yours I might add. Entrusted me with it didn’t he?” He shrugged as a smile formed in his lips. “Gotta be important right?” Buffy couldn’t help but laugh. “Is this little Prue?” He bent down to look at the baby in the stroller, playing with her tiny hand in the process.

“It sure is!”

“She sure isn’t that little anymore, last time I saw her she was tiny. Can I?” Clem asked to take Prue into his arms and Buffy simply answered him with a shrug and a nod. “Has Daddy been taking good care of you, cupcake?” He touched her nose and she answered him by wriggling her nose beneath his finger. “She’s a beauty, Sp-Will. Just like her mother…” Silence fell as they all felt the awkwardness of the moment.

“Yeah…” William was the first to recover as he tried to change the subject, “Hey, you think I can borrow the yacht for today?”

Clem smiled as he handed Prue back to Buffy’s care, “Why not? It’s your boat! Go for it!”

Later after Clem had cleaned himself and his mess up, he hesitated to leave William and his company alone in the vessel insisting that maybe he should go along with them, even if it’s just to get the boat away and back. But William had insisted that he didn’t need him, he’s pretty sure that he still remembers how to stir a boat. With a wave and a last look at Prue, Clem had shook on his backup onto his shoulder and left the three of them to themselves.

“So what are we to do here?” Buffy broke the silence that settled over as soon as Clem left them to themselves.

“Anchor off, I guess,” William started to get the ropes out of the dock and hauled the anchor out of the water. “There are some things inside the cooler and a couple of chairs and others things beneath,” he pointed to the small structure with a stairs leading beneath the yacht. “I’ll look after Prue after I get this out.” He continued pulling at the ropes and put the sail up then stirred the vessel off into the sea.

As soon as Buffy reached the lower section of the boat she began searching for a closet or something where all the things William had said could be found. The bottom portion of the structure was pretty impressive with its own living room and kitchen. As she went in deeper, there was also a bedroom at the end and another door which she opened the found the folded up beach chairs and tables which she skillfully maneuvered out from beneath the yacht.

She began hauling all the things up the stairs, then realizing that she wouldn’t be able to do it herself. She decided to call for William’s help. As soon as her head reached the top of the boat. She saw father and daughter by the wheel as William dexterously stirred the vessel as he had Prue tucked securely under one arm. She couldn’t quite make out what William was supposedly telling his daughter, but seeing them just like this gave her a sense of accomplishment. Somehow she was responsible for bringing the two of them closer to each other, and maybe this was her purpose for coming to England earlier than she had planned. She had accomplished it, so it will be easier for her to leave them. Right?

“Hey!” William startled Buffy out of her reverie. He had turned around wondering if Buffy had any problem finding the stuff for she had been gone for a pretty long time. But instead he found her standing on the steps looking at their general direction as if she had spaced out with a look of, he didn’t know what it was but his guess was that it was a look of longing. “What are you doing there?”

Buffy blinked her eyes a couple of times as she heard a voice talking to her. She had been thinking… thinking about- well it’s not really something she should still be pondering about it’s not even something that is open for discussion. It was her plan and nothing’s stopping her, there is no thinking that needed to be done. “Umm, I just needed help in bringing the things up.”

William simply pulled something on the panel and set Prue down on her stroller, locking the wheels as he walked over to her. Holding onto her shoulders, he asked “Is everything okay?” Buffy plainly nodded her head he walked pass her. ‘no thinking…no thinking’.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Is that your stomach growling I hear?” Buffy and Prue were sitting on a beach towel on the far end of the yacht. They had been watching the sunset together while William was at the other side barbequing some meat. The three of them had spent the whole four hours or so sitting around the boat and sight seeing the different islands and mountain the scenery before them had to offer. Apparently, William had some fishing poles and bait in the vessel so they enjoyed a nice hour or so of silently trying to get the fishes under the water to bite on their bait. Neither of them got any though Buffy did almost catch one but pulled on the reel to early causing the fish to get away but nonetheless she had to admit that she did have fun. William was not as uptight once you get to know him, Buffy guessed that Joyce was right, he was a wonderful man if you took time long enough to look.

Prue buried her face in Buffy’s shoulder as she nuzzled the infant’s stomach and rose from their position to go and fetch her thermos. “Okay, okay. It’s coming, sweetheart.” Buffy said as she heard another soft growl come from Prue’s stomach, or she could just be imagining it.

“Hey,” William greeted them as he saw Buffy and his daughter, ‘his daughter’, that was probably the first time he had allowed himself to think that, walking over to him as Buffy searched for something from the bags they had brought. “Dinner’s almost ready, too bad we didn’t caught any fish.” He threw them a smile as he placed the last of the meat from the grill into the plate and put out the fire.

“So how’s my princess been?” He walked over to them as he wiped his hands on the apron on him. He relived Buffy of Prue and brought her over to one side as the Buffy searched for the thermos. “Did daddy’s little girl had fun?” he asked her as if she would be able to understand what he was trying to convey but Prue smiled nonetheless. He scrunched his nose up in respond and he brought her above his head to simulate an airplane which made Prue giggle with laughter as he brought her down and gave her a tight hug.

“Da-ddy” Prue had uttered incoherently but it still seemed to make William have a warm smile spread across his face as she repeated it another time.

“That’s right, bit. Your daddy’s little princess.” He slightly patted her on the nose, “Such a smart girl.”

“Well that smart little girl of yours is currently hungry,” Buffy interrupted them carrying with her a bowl and spoon, “so I suggest you haul her over to me, daddy.” Buffy had stressed good humouredly as she gave him a lingering smile.

He raised an eyebrow at her in question, something she just noticed he loves doing, but handed Prue over to her nonetheless. He then made his way down the steps to the lower level of the boat. He walked around as if searching for something, he looked inside the bedroom and let his eyes linger there for a while then tuned his head over to the living room couch then over to the kitchen, surveying the place. He stood in the middle a couple of minutes before finally grabbing his phone at the back of his pocket and flipping it over and started to punch in some numbers.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
“Buffy! Buffy!” William called from the lower deck, “Can you and Prue come down here for a second?” He heard footsteps descending the steps as he grabbed some sheets from the cabinet on the far back of the cabin. He didn’t wait for them to actually get to the landing and without looking at them he asked, “Did you guys bring any extra clothes?”

“I brought an extra shirt and shorts for Prue in case of any accidents.” Buffy tried to answer over Prue’s wails. The baby had been crying for the last five minutes, she guessed she was starting to get tired, she couldn’t blame her for they had a busy day. It was now eight o’clock at night and she didn’t get her afternoon nap either, no wonder she was restless.

“And you?” William asked as if there was no noise preventing Buffy from hearing him.

Buffy’s ears strained just trying to make out what he said, “No. I didn’t think we would need it.”

“What do you think about-“ William stopped short as it was the first time he heard his daughter wailing her discomfort just across from him. “Why is she crying like that? Is there something wrong with her?”

Buffy smiled at him in the naivety his employer possessed, he can make a big business run smoothly, and get his will all done with a snap of his finger but when it comes to his own daughter it’s like he’s a four year old boy learning to ride his first bike.

“Are you laughing at me, Ms. Summers?” William asked in a straight face, making Buffy suppress her smile and rub smoothing circles behind Prue’s back to let her cries subside. “I don’t think anything’s funny, do you?” Buffy face held no emotion at that moment. She didn’t know if she should feel scared, maybe she had offended him, should she apologize? But as soon as she saw that smile twitch in the corner of William’s lips she had to prevent herself from killing the man before her for making her heart jump and do summersaults. “Who’s funny now?” He laughed, a deep laugh those kinds that only men can do.

Buffy looked at him pointly, eyes narrowing in annoyance? Either way he stopped and got back to his original question. “What do you think about staying here for the night?”

“Here? As in, in the middle of the ocean?” William nodded in reply. “Is it safe?”

“I’ve done it before and so has Clem, we’ll be fine. We’ll just anchor ourselves to the nearest shoreline just to be on the safe side.” He had answered her with a question, trying to assure her of their safety.

“Okay, if you say so. I guess Prue can sleep on the bed?”

“Yeah. I just changed the sheets I think she’s really starting to get tired.” He noticed, Prue had stopped her crying opting instead for soft whimpers as she made herself comfortable on Buffy’s shoulder. “I’ll just be upstairs if you need me.”

Buffy proceed into the bedroom and saw the newly spread sheet and decided to lay Prue on it, she shared the bed with her for a while until she had fallen into a deep slumber. Wanting to make sure that Prudence didn’t fall onto the floor anytime during the night, she had found some body pillows beneath the bed. Buffy took them out of their containers and placed it on both sides of Prue. Satisfied with the safety of her charge, she placed the monitor on the bedside table and decided to go and look for William.

She found him by the control panel seemingly holding on to the wheel as he looked into a far away place. “What are you looking at?” She asked as she came from behind him. He looked up seemingly pulled out of his gaze.

“The lighthouse.”

“What of it?”

“Did you know that in literature a body of water symbolized life?” He asked as if he didn’t hear Buffy at all. “And that a lighthouse shows you the right path to take. Just like in life, everyone has a lighthouse… don’t you think so?” Buffy swallowed the lump on her throat, not knowing how to answer William’s question. That didn’t really become a problem for he had continued on, “Something or someone has to guide them right? Or they would loose their path…” he trailed off seemingly unaware of his surroundings.

Soon Buffy and William found themselves near the shoreline, Deciding that this spot would do, William started to let go of the anchor and safely secured themselves for the night.

Neither had said anything after that mini-monologue William had spoke. Buffy simply didn’t know how to respond to his words and William didn’t find it fitting to say anything more thus they both stayed silent. “We should settle in,” William broke the silence as Buffy stood by the stairs fidgeting with her hands. “Start early tomorrow, maybe we could go over to one of the near by beaches?” He suggested as he offered Buffy a warm smile to which Buffy replied with one of her own as she nodded her head and went below the deck with William following in from behind.

“You can have the bed,” he told her as he went for the small closet and got some sheets and a blanket, “I’ll take the couch.” Buffy argued that she can sleep in the couch, it is his yacht and she was just a helper after all. But William would have none of it, insisting that she take the bed, even if she is a nanny he stressed that it didn’t exclude her of the privileges a woman should have over a man and it’s never just a nanny. She plainly smiled at him in reply conceding defeat. He had handed her some oversize shirts and sweatpants to change into. And just before they settled themselves for the night William had gave her a kiss goodnight on her left cheek, a kiss she didn’t know the meaning of and didn’t care to ask either.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Creeping into the mansion was not as easy has she had first thought, there were hidden cameras in places she didn’t give notice to before. Now that she’s just a few meters from the library she made sure to stay quite so not to attract attention. As she swung the door open she immediately went in search for the particular case she was looking for. Fear was overwhelming her as she walked around the study. She went over to the mantel and tried to look there seeing nothing she rose from her position overturning a frame. She quickly spotted the briefcase on the chair being camouflage by the dark night. How stupid was she, it’s probably because her nerves were killing her. Having done her task she stealthily retreated.

to be continued...

Chapter 9

Sleeping never came easy for him, especially when he was in a couch that was not really very comfortable. He would have loved to blame himself for his situation but he didn’t. It was only right to let the lady have the bed. He might have known to have turned into a grouch but he still knew how to treat a lady right, and letting her sleep on the couch while you snore yourself to sleep inside a big comfy bed is not it. As he stirred again for the endmost time tonight he heard soft whimpers, he tried to ignore it but somewhere in him told him to get up. Maybe it’s because he couldn’t sleep and decided to check it out since he had nothing else better to do or maybe it’s his fatherly instincts finally kicking in, whatever it was it made him go and take a peek inside the room where his daughter and her nanny resided.

She saw her sleeping soundly on the bed and couldn’t help but let his eyes linger on her for a moment, he didn’t know why he did, he was suppose to be married… used to be a married man and this is not how they, what he used to be, acted around women… very beautiful attractive women. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, that have never crossed his mind before and he didn’t know why it did now.

His pondering was interrupted by his daughter crawling over to the foot of the bed and pulling on his sweatpants. He looked down on her and swept her up in his arms, “couldn’t get to sleep too huh?”

Buffy stirred in bed, she was always a light sleeper which is probably a good thing given her job. As she opened her tired eyes, she felt someone looking her way, that feeling when you just know that someone is fixing their eyes on you. When her vision cleared he saw William on the left side of the bed trying to keep a restless Prue from moving too much and trying to get her back to sleep.

“Hey,” he had greeted her when he saw her looking their way, “how’d you sleep?”

“Is it morning already?”

William shook his head, “It’s midnight.”

“Then, not very good” she answered as she sat up in bed, and tried to calm the little girl down. “You couldn’t sleep?” she asked about his presence, surely if he were sound asleep in that very uncomfortable couch outside he couldn’t have heard Prue soft cries for attention. William shook his head, as he sat beside the bed Prue on his lap, “Couch not very comfortable then?”

“You could only imagine.”

“I told you should have taken the bed.”

“Now that wouldn’t have been very gentlemanly of me now would it?” Buffy scoffed that earned him a stern look.

“So you’d rather not sleep at all, then? Is that better?”

“Well, of course not. But that’s beside the point.”

“The point being what?” he shrugged in response. “Look why don’t you take the bed, I can’t go back to sleep anyway.”

“Yeah?” She nodded with a smile on her face, “How about this little girl?” he asked pertaining to the little girl bouncing on his lap, how could she possibly have so much energy in the middle of the night.

“Oh, she can sleep anywhere?” William raised a brow asking her to continue, “Yeah, just put her down in any hard surface and she’d be fine.”

“And this comes from the woman I trust my child with?” He shook his head in false disappointment.

“Well you should have thought twice about that now… shame on you.”

William was laughing with her, he couldn’t remember the last time he had such a great time just talking and chatting about nonsense with… well anyone. This woman brought out sides of him he didn’t know existed or things he thought were long lost, buried to the ground the day he had been widowed.

“So...” they tried to make themselves comfortable on the bed, Prue in between them, finally out of energy and sleeping soundly. They had talked for he didn’t know how long as they waited for his little girl to fall back to sleep. And up to this moment Buffy didn’t seem to open up about herself. “I’ve been yapping here all night, and I have not known a single thing about you. Do tell me what’s the story of Buffy Summers?”

“I have no story?”

“Come on, everyone has a story…” he persisted as he rest his head on his elbows.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Night had come and gone and he still couldn’t sleep, he and Buffy had talked till the wee hours of the night or rather morning until he noticed that she was beginning to get sleepy despite her testament of not being able to go back to bed after she had woken up. He had told her to rest herself and he’d be right there on the other side of the bed trying to get as much rest as possible. But the truth was he couldn’t, all he could do the remaining of the time was stare at the beauty before him.

And when he finally decided to get his butt off the bed and do something he found himself in the small confine of the kitchen trying to make himself breakfast, his stomach was growling and he needed a quick fix as he heated himself a pot of coffee.

Later as he cooked up the bacon and eggs Joyce had packed for them, he didn’t know how she could possibly have known that they would be needing it. Maybe she had a hunch they would be spending the night? Woman and their instincts he thought, which wasn’t so bad considering his stomach was growling just by the aroma of the food.

“Morning!” Buffy came out from the back, hair tousled in all the wrong places, hair he’s like to run his hands through, as she yawned. “What smells so delicious?”

“Morning to you too!” He looked up from the stove, “Do you want breakfast?”

“You’re making me breakfast?”

“Sure, why not.” He answered her nonchalantly.

“Okay then…” she replied as she sat on one of the stools over the counter.

“So where’s Prue?” He asked as he placed the plate bacon and eggs right in front of her then went and grabbed some bread in the bag Joyce had packed.

“Inside,” she pointed to the back than served as their bedroom for the night, “I think she was too exhausted from last night.” William grabbed the seat beside her.

“Dig in.” he pointed to the food he had prepared for them to devour. Buffy hesitantly grabbed a slice of bread and a strip of bacon as she chewed on. Instead of having some himself, William couldn’t help but stare at her mouth as she chewed.

“I had a great time yesterday…” William was pulled of his stare as Buffy talked to him.

“Yeah…”

“Especially last night… It was nice to just sit down and talk…”

“Yeah…” He didn’t know how it happened, who leaned in first but soon he was finding her face a mere inch away from his, they were so close that he could hear her breathing, the slow steady beating of her heart and as their lips were about to brush upon each other…

“ring… ring…”

Buffy was pulled out of her trance, he blinked her eyes. They almost kissed! She realized and she didn’t know if it were a bad thing that it was cut short by the stupid ringing of the phone or if she were relived by it.

“I need to take this.” William said as he stood and proceeded to the upper deck.

to be continued...

A/N: Thanks ever so much for the reviews! Thanks for supporting the story and I'll try to have an update as soon as possible.

Chapter 10

“Can I take your coat ma’am” the butler had asked when they entered the ballroom on Corinthian Gardens. Buffy simply smiled at him and let him help her take her coat. From the level above the ballroom one could see the multitudes of people gathered to support a benefit one of the big names in England had gladly hosted. Sparkling champagne can be seen flowing all over the occasion not to include the diamonds that each and every guest sported. Buffy felt so mediocre, mingling with this people makes her look so… plain. She doesn’t have big diamonds on her ears and neck; she didn’t have vagarious gowns that probably cost more than her lifetime education.

Then why was she here then if she didn’t feel as comfortable among these people? Well, it had something to do with never coming alone in these ‘bloody’ occasions.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

[i]After the supposed trip they had the other day, William had been super busy as soon as he stepped foot back into his house. Faith was there following him all around the mansion and he had spent all his time either in meetings with Angel or in the study having a meeting with Angel. Buffy wasn’t really surprised for he knew William was a busy man plus after the phone call he had received the other day in the yacht, she had felt him tense up and seemed to always be thinking about something. The only reason Buffy thinks he comes home, is to sleep, and he hardly does that too.

One morning, as Buffy was walking with Prue around the house, she passed by the westside of the mansion where the study of William resided. Buffy decided to have the initiative to knock on his door and maybe visit him. They hardly seen them around the house and Prue hasn’t have a glimpse of him for over a week. That, and another thing that was bothering her mind. It was nearing the date that Lakeside would want her answer, she had asked for an extension on it saying she had to settle some previous engagements and they had said that they’d give her another week then that was it, if she were not to give them an answer they’d have to give her position to someone else.

She didn’t know what kept her from saying yes and just go for the job that is what she had wanted all along. It’s why she’d here in England in the first place. In her mind, she says that it was for Prue. She had been attached to her charge more than she ever thought she would and she didn’t want to leave her just like that. But in the back of her mind, she was wondering about that almost kiss she and William had shared, did it mean anything? Maybe it was just a moment thing? Whatever it meant she wanted to find out.

She slightly tapped at the door, hearing no response, she pushed it slowly open. She found William slumped over his desk, sleeping. Prue struggled free of her hold and landed herself on top the desk. She crawled over slowly to her father’s head which rested on top of the old oak wood. She patted his hair quite a few times then started to slap William’s cheek until he finally stirred from his sleep.

Seeing this Buffy quickly grabbed Prue from the table, fearing that William would get mad for making her wake him up especially now that he hardly gets any sleep.

William was woken up by the feeling of his right cheek being slapped by a small hand. He stirred and tried to open his eyes against the bright light coming from the windows. He felt the hardwood under him and concluded that he had yet again fallen asleep in his study, papers scattered under him. He tried to get his head up despite the body pain he felt for sleeping in this position. He found Buffy and Prue in front of him, and blinked back to clear his eyesight of them. Buffy seemed to be saying something but he can’t seem to hear her clearly. She was retreating for reasons he didn’t know. “Wait.” He said as he rose from his seat and walked over to the small bathroom adjoining study. He washed his face and drank a little before returning back to the study.

Buffy was on he lounging area, Prue on the floor crawling under the coffee table. The sight before him made a smile creep up from his lips. He can’t remember the last time he did that this week. His little girl looked so adorable, obviously oblivious of the world around her. He had been busy this whole week about… he didn’t even want to think about that right now. He haven’t seen Prue, which wouldn’t have mattered before but now it was different, Buffy made it different, he had missed her so much he didn’t even know about it until he saw her there crawling around.

He walked over, threw a smile Buffy’s way then stooped down just in time as Prue came out from the end of the coffee table. “Hey princess” he scooped her up and sat on the lounge chairs nearby, placing Prue on his lap and laying down on the couch trying to get comfortable and stretching his back.

Prue crawled up on his chest and started punching William. He started to cough, “Oh, baby… not there daddy’s not feeling very well.”

Buffy rose from her seat, “Prue,” she chided, something William noticed she does a lot, as if Prue would be able to understand her. “Don’t do that.” She picked her up, “Daddy’s have had a hard day. She’s very violent isn’t she?”

“Just like her dad!” William said proudly.

Buffy laughed, “Well, we better go, I know you have a lot to do.”

“No, no.” William stopped them, “I’ve really missed her,” Prue slipped out of Buffy’s grasp landing on William’s lap yet again. He ruffled her hair and brought her closer to him. “Stay, I could definitely use the distraction.”

“Distraction? From what?”

William looked her way as if pondering if he should even mention it to her or not. It’s not really any of her concern, she can’t possibly be of any help… unless of course. No, he couldn’t. “Well…” he prolonged, “it’s not really something you’d like to know.”

“Try me.” Buffy answered quite confidently, if there was something she didn’t like much it’s that she is kept out of the loop and she can definitely feel that something is boiling up right in front of her.

“So, you doing anything this weekend, luv?” He obviously have changed the subject and Buffy decided to let it go, she’d find out what was up with him somehow.

“Nothing in particular really…” She trailed off.

“That’s good, I need a favor” Buffy raised her brow in question, “There’s this benefit on Saturday, something about orphans or something. I was wondering if would like to come with me.” Buffy made a move to object, but it didn’t escape her mind to think if this was a date “and I’ll get someone to look after Prue. There’s just something with never coming alone in these ‘bloody’ occasions.”

Buffy laughed, probably to cover up her disappointment she didn’t know why she felt, but shut it when she saw him give her a look, “Sorry. But I don’t think…” He actually thought he could persuade Buffy with a batt of an eyelash and hell it was not working… okay maybe a little, especially when he used Prue as his accomplice. He held her up in front of him, throwing his voice, badly one might say, saying, “Please go with daddy, Ms. Buffy. I would greatly appreciate it. I’ll promise never to throw up on you anymore or pee and poo in my diaper… much.”

Buffy didn’t know how to answer except with a smile and a nod uttering a “fine!” as if she was being forced into it, which in this case she is but she knew better.[/i]

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Would you like something to drink?” William asked as they descended the beautifully decorated stairway. Buffy had stood at the top of the stairs astound by the vision before her, people were already passing by them yet she didn’t care just stared at the mass of people before her.

“Huh?” Buffy shook her head, “yeah…”

“Okay then, pet. I’ll be right back,” he squeezed her shoulder, “go on and socialize.” Buffy looked at him warily, “you’ll be fine.” He assured one last time before he went to the direction of the bar.

[i]‘Okay, Buffy. You’ll be fine, just walk around, smile to the people and you’ll do great! Okay…’[/i] she chided to herself as a woman in all black and pearls made eye contact with her, seemingly not very pleasant. As she retreated and decided to look for William before she gets lost, her back hit another, she thought twice before confronting the figure, “I’m so sorr-“

“Buffy!” It was Cordelia looking her best in a elegant black cocktail dress with big pearls around her neck and on her ears. “So William did take somebody after all huh?” She offered her hand to her as Cordelia walked them around the floor, smiling and waving to almost every person she sees. “Social events, they can take so much out of you” Buffy simply nodded and gave her an ‘uhuh’ as if she had been to these kinds of occasions her whole life. “Look there’s William right there” she pointed on to the direction of the adjoining room.

And indeed William was there talking to an old couple, holding two drinks in his hand. He seemed to be very much into the conversation yet he kept looking from side to side obviously looking for a way out. Cordelia just shook her head as she headed the other direction tailing Buffy behind. “Men.” She said under her breath.

“So, who was that William was talking with?” Buffy ask as they sat on one of the few available tables.

Cordelia waved to another couple, before turning to Buffy, “Oh those were his in-laws, Drusilla’s parents, they’re not in very good terms” she whispered the last part as if it were a forbidden rumor.

Buffy just nodded her head, she didn’t feel very comfortable asking more questions about matters that really don’t concern her, even though deep down she’d really like to know. “So, you here with Angel?” she changed the subject as she took a champagne glass from one of the waiters walking around with strays on their palm, how they balance them, Buffy had often wondered.

“Yeah, he’s here somewhere…” she waved to the mass of people in the middle of the floor walking around having meaningless conversations with people their probably never see again unless of course there was another benefit or gathering of this sort. “Probably talking his way around, you know how he is. So, I heard William took you and Prue on a sailing trip?”

“Yeah,” Cordelia asked her to proceed, “it was fun…” Cordelia was waiting for Buffy to continue on yet she just remained silent. “What?”

“Thats all?”

“Well…Oh! Here comes Angel.”

“Hey sweetheart,” Angel went over to Cordelia and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Are you having fun?”

Cordelia looked at him knowingly, “Do I ever have fun at these event?”

Suddenly Angel noticed Buffy, “Buffy right? So William did come,” he immediately scanned the crowd for any trace of his friends, “so where is he?”

“He’s over there with Lindsay and Darla, they seem to be deep in conversation. Oh how William would love to get out of that.” Cordelia answered with a heartfelt laugh as she took a sip of her drink.

Suddenly Buffy felt a hand on her shoulders, “Sorry took me so long, pet.” William handed her a drink, “You having fun?”

Before Buffy could reply, Cordelia had butted in, “We are here you know, William. I’d be nice if you actually included us in you and your dates conversation.” Not a lot may have noticed, hell nobody probably did, but Buffy’s face heat up at that.

“Sorry…” William turned towards the brunette, “Are you having fun Cordy?”

“What do you think?” she answered him with narrowed eyes, then somebody she apparently know passed by and a smile could be seen forming on her lips yet again as she waved at the person.

William had an unusual expression on his face as if it was the first time she had seen Cordelia act this way which caused Buffy to give out a giggle. “What are you laughing at?”

Buffy looked at him eyes sparkling, “nothing” which William raised a brow at.

“Look, man” Angel pulled William to the side, “we need to talk.”

William excused them from Buffy and Cordelia as he and Angel went over to the side, “What’s wrong?”

“What did they say?”

“Nothing really, just advised me and stuff on a whole lot of bogus, saying a bunch of bullshit, playing the ‘we’re just doing what’s best’ card.” William shook his head in disbelief.

“You have to look out, man” Angel said as he looked around, much like a spy relaying a secret information. “I heard that the examiner would be around within the next week.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just heard it around.” Angel was concerned for William, if there was one thing he hated more than losing a case it’s seeing the people he cared for get hurt. Even if sometimes he didn’t want them to know this softer side of his. “You have to be careful, don’t leave anything that might put any of us in jeopardy lying around, if you need to keep things discreet then do so too. You got it?”

“You know… maybe I wanna stop trying and get it over with… let them win it.” Angel looked at him warily, “I’m not ready for this…”

“If you love her enough you would… she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”

“Very well.”

“I think you should bring the lady home,” Angel suggested as he looked at the ladies way and glanced at his watch, “try to make a good impression.”

William closed his eyes as he exhaled felling fed up inside with the circumstances he was in. This wasn’t how he expected his life to be, this was not the happily ever after his precious wife had wanted. He loved her more than anything in this world, that’s why he’s gonna do everything in his power for this to go his way… for her.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

They had drove home in silence, each not knowing what to say to the other thou both wanting to have a conversation. As Willima parked the car on the driveway, he got out of the car expecting to open the car door for Buffy but she had gotten out on her own. As he opened the door into the house she had let her walk in first. He didn’t know what to say… didn’t know how to act. Does he just leave her and go straight up to bed? Does he walk her to her room… since well she doesn’t really have an apartment he needed to drop her off to. Then he thought, why was he worrying about this, he invited her to come to the benefit with him because he didn’t want to go alone, she was not his date… right?

“So, I better get going then… early day tomorrow.” Buffy said as she started for the back of the house where their quarters stood. “You should too I know you have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Yeah…” William answered as he saw her walk away from him, “Buffy!” he called for her as he ran towards her. “I needed to give you something…”

“What is it?” She asked.

“Something I wanted to give to you a week ago…”

And there it was, the almost kiss she had said they had was turning into a real one. She didn’t know how to feel. This was her boss… her employer. She was pretty sure somewhere this was not allowed or maybe it was… she was too nervous to feel anything, William probably thought she was a moron for she was probably freezing up on him but damn did he kiss good.

“…a proper kiss.”

Buffy opened her eyes, cheeks flushed. “I think that can be considered a proper one…”

to be continued...

A/N: Just to say thanks you for the reviews! =)

Chapter 11

They say love comes in all kinds of forms, sometimes we don’t even understand why we feel the way we do. Sometimes we don’t understand why we do the things we do when we feel this way. But is it really love? Or is it just mere infatuation… obsession… needing something and going for it.

“Morning…”

“Morning…” William smiled as he took Buffy’s hand and ushered her to sit next to him.

“What are you doing up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he replied as he sipped on his cup of coffee.

William had been up since dawn thinking about what had happened last night. They had kissed… more precisely he had kissed her. She had reciprocated his feelings… or rather his actions and he was more than glad about that. He definitely didn’t know what he would have done if she would have pushed him away. Soon kissing lead to other things and before it went into things they would both or rather she would regret in the morning, she had told him goodnight, saying that she had a nice time and needed rest. He had felt hurt by her somewhat rejection of him but she had consoled him by saying that they would talk about ‘this’, as she pointed between the two of them, tomorrow.

That had done it for him, he couldn’t get to sleep willing the sun to rise so that he might get to talk to her. He didn’t know when he started to feel this way, he didn’t even know when he first got attracted to her, all he knew was that he wanted her. Wanted her to be his, wanted to spend every moment with her. It had crossed his mind that maybe it was because he thought she would make a lovely mother for her daughter but that was soon dismissed when he saw her the other night in his arms. It felt good… like they fit… it felt right.

He pondered if it were wrong to be into another woman when the woman he swore he’d love for the rest of his days just died, would Dru be upset about how easily he have moved on after her… that thought was out the door when they kissed… but that didn’t mean it still didn’t bother his mind until today.

“Couldn’t take my mind off you,” William placed his finger under her chin and turned her face towards him as he said those words. Wanting her to know that he really meant it and wasn’t just another line that men have used a million times.

Flushed, Buffy tried to avert her eyes to the scenery outside.

Ever since she was a little she had always known what she had wanted and didn’t stop at anything to have what she wants. But right now, she’s having second thoughts. Second thoughts about doing anything with this man right beside her. A man she had once thought was a downright cruel man but now… she was thinking about having something more with him, more than an employee-employer relationship. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do; she didn’t know what she wanted to do. All she knew was that she felt something last night… she just didn’t know what it was.

“So…”

“So..” William echoed as he looked her way, “What are we, Buffy?” Buffy averted his gaze yet again mostly because she didn’t know how to answer the question. “Buffy…”

“I don’t know…” came her whispered reply.

“What do you want us to be?” Buffy finally let their eyes meet for the first time. She tried to open her mouth to say something and then the back door creaked open, causing Buffy to rise immediately from her position and quickly walked over to the other side of the kitchen busying herself with something as Joyce walked into the room.

“Buffy, what are you doing up so early?” She had asked as she heated a pot up for tea.

“Just wanted to get a head start just in case Prue wakes up early.” Buffy replied quite calmly as she sat on the island counter away from William.

“How about you, Will, dear?” Joyce asked as she saw William for the first time sitting on the breakfast nook all alone deep in thought.

“Couldn’t sleep, got myself a cuppa,” he replied as he raised his mug up to prove his words then went out of the room knowing that there would be nothing more said.

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He walked into his office, not really in the mood for anything. The drapes were closed shut, darkness engulfing the room. He walked over to the mantel, setting his empty cup on top, he then noticed a frame turned over. He couldn’t remember if he had left it like that or if maybe Joyce had been here cleaning and had knocked it over. Either way he picked it up and found himself holding the portrait of his wife. He traced the glass of the picture frame trying to remember what it was like to hold her, be with her, to love and be loved.


“To us.” Spike raised his glass as it clicked with another and he and Drusilla shared a kiss before drinking the contents of their glass down. They sat under the moonlight Drusilla enveloped in Spike’s arm. He knew how much she loved the water and she had very much enjoyed it when he took her to these trips out in the sea at night where they could be alone. He had especially picked this place because he wanted this night to be memorable for both of them.

“Spike?”

“Yes, my love?” he asked as he placed a kiss in top of her head, seeing her look up into the skies a thought seemingly bugging her mind. “What are you thinking?”

“The lighthouse.”

“The lighthouse?” she nodded her head in answer, “What’s so special about it?”

“I was just wondering… how important it is… you know?” Spike brows furrowed, he couldn’t quite understand what Drusilla was rambling on about. “You never know how important something is unless the times comes when you actually need it… do you understand me?” She turned her head back to him trying to see if she had understood what she had been trying to say.

Spike had shook his head to the negative and she had simply smiled up at him letting her hand caress his cheek.

“You’re not perfect.” She told him and Spike was trying really hard to find the good of what she had meant by that. “I know that…But I don’t need perfect. My parents may never approve of you but that doesn’t matter because I know what I want… and that’s you.”

Spike smiled at her not knowing how to respond how to react to what this goddess before him just said.

“Do you know how lucky I feel to have you in my life, William?”

“I’m the-“ Spike tried to interrupt but she had placed a finger on his lips to silence him.

“Shh… No man has ever made me feel this secure about myself, made me feel like I matter, made me feel… so loved and that’s more than enough for me.” She finished her monologue water welling up in her eyes.

“I love you...” Spike felt compelled to tell her as he wiped the tears that started to fall. “I didn’t, well actually I did...” he shook his head to clear his head, “Dru, pet… I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you… you know that right?” He looked into her eyes for confirmation and she nodded her head in response. “I’m not perfect-you stressed on that well enough,” he tried to make a joke but she wasn’t laughing along with him instead she was waiting for him to continue. “But I’m willing to give up everything for you… try to be perfect and maybe if you’d allow me, I can work on that being perfect thing for the rest of my life… with you.” Drusilla tried to made sense of what he was saying but everything just seem to be pointing her to one direction and at that moment she couldn’t really believe it was happening. “Would you do me the honors of being my wife, my love?” and just as he said those words a diamond ring was right in front her telling her to take this man and spend the rest of their days together.

“Yes… of course!” Spike breathed a sigh of relief at hearing that as he seized her in a hug and kissed her as she slipped the ring on her finger. “I love you,” she heard him say as she flipped the ring over reading the inscription at the back, ‘forever and a day.’

“Forever and a day…” William whispered as he sat himself in one of the couches. “I miss you so much, Dru… Why’d you have to go away…” He closed his eyes as he held the image close to him. He’s so confused right now; words can’t begin to describe how confused he is. He claims to like another woman but still loves his wife. He wants to pursue something with Buffy yet he can’t let go of his past love. He wants a fresh start but he can’t because something is pulling him back. “Why can’t things just stay the way they ought to be?”

“Because it’s life.”

“What?” he asked out loud hearing a respond to his whispered question. He shook his head from the daze just as there was a knock on the door. He fixed himself up and placed the picture back on the mantle before calling for the person to come in.

“Umm…William. Joyce prepared you something,” Buffy came in tray in hand as she approached the sitting area and placed it on the coffee table. “Breakfast, just in case you’re hungry.” Buffy looked up but William didn’t seem to be paying any attention to her, “I’ll just be leaving then…”

“Buffy.”

“Yeah?”

“I need to talk to you about something, luv.”

“I’m not really in the mood to talk right now,” she replied knowing pretty well what kind of talk William was referring too. She didn’t understand why he had to make something big about just one little kiss. It was nice and all but she knows nothing can ever happen between the two of them. Not in the way she thought anyway. He was just probably just sad, missing Drusilla and seeking solace. She didn’t need that right now. She promised herself she wouldn’t get attached and if he kept insisting on things she didn’t know what’s gonna become on her.

“Buffy,” he held on to her shoulder, not making her take another step, “Please, I just want to talk.” She nodded her head in response as she let him usher her to the sitting area.

Silence feel as neither moved nor said a word.

“I thought you wanted to talk?”

“I did- I mean, I do,” William breathed out as he took a cup of coffee from the tray and drank it straight.

“So talk,” Buffy urge him on as she sat on the opposite side of him, hands on her lap.

William cleared his throat, set the cup down then cleared his throat yet again as if he was trying to buy time. Buffy was simply looking up at him waiting for him to speak up. “About last night… the kiss-“

Buffy interrupted before he could say anything more, “I know, it didn’t mean anything. You don’t have to explain.”

“Didn’t mean anything,” he echoed and couldn’t help but feel that it didn’t sound right. “Didn’t mean anything,” he said it again but more firmly this time. “Do you know I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about you? I couldn’t get you off my bloody mind. You’re all I bloody think about! Dream about.”

“Now I know you’re overreacting…”

William narrowed his eyes up at her and she just raised her eyebrow in response. “Okay… maybe not all the time but I couldn’t get you off my mind last night and that’s got to mean something right?”

“Yeah, it’s called loneliness.” William tilted his head as she continued, “You’re just lonely, that’s how you get this delusions that it meant more that it really did.”

“Don’t psychoanalyze me. I know what I feel and there was something there... You can’t deny that.”

“Yeah, there was solace, nothing else.”

“You didn’t feel anything?” he said in a voice so low as if he was pleading that she’d say she did.

“That’s not the point.”

“Of course that’s the point. You say I’m being lonely that’s why I have this images in my mind, then you answer me. Was there something there? Did you feel anything, luv? A tiny crumb maybe… the slightest smudge of anything real.” She looked at him from underneath her lashes her head bent down. “Then give me the chance you at least try to see if there might me something there. That’s all I ask.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

October 5, 1996

Forever and a day, he said. As I look at the ring right now in my finger… it doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be forever. Do you know that feeling when you just know that some things are just not meant to last forever? It’s not that he does not love me, I know he does and I love him just as much it’s just the feeling at the pit of your stomach that you’re not enough for someone. I know he’d never admit it but I think he knows it just as well too. Someone’s gonna come around and he might feel a great attachment to her but he’ll never leave me. He’s noble that way, that’s why I love him so god damn much! He’d never leave me that I know for sure but even if I know that deep down inside it’s like I’m the one that’s holding him back from being happy. Forever? I doubt it.

Dried drops of water could be seen marring the old diary.

to be continued...

Chapter 12

Love is inevitable. Not matter how much we say we don’t want to love again we never really learn to stop loving. Even if we know we were just walking right into risking getting hurt against still does not stop the heart from beating a bit faster when he’s near. And now sitting in his arms she knew she had let love get the better part of her. For no matter how much she tries to say she isn’t, trying hard to get her emotions under control for all of this would just lead to further heartache she couldn’t stop it. She was falling for him.

“What are you thinking of, luv?” he asked her as he kissed the top of her head, tightening his hold on her never wanting to let go.

“Nothing…” she simply replied as she snuggled deeper into his embrace. Truth of the matter was a lot was in her mind. She was thinking on what she should do about the position that was waiting for her at Lakeside. She debated in her head whether she should take it or not. It was what she had been waiting for; it was what she was here for in the first place, the logical part of her mind screamed. But the other one, a much louder voice. The part of her heart saying she should stay here with William and Prue, right here where she felt safe, warm and loved in his arms. She didn’t know what to do; she knew no amount of thinking would make the decision any easier; she had to do what she had to do.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Dar, look at this,” Lindsay came into the master bedroom where his wife was sitting atop the bed filing her nails.

“What is it now?” she asked tiredly. For all she knew this was another one of his ideas to put their poor son-in-law William down. The poor guy have just lost his wife and was just trying to get back into the flow of things then her husband comes in and tries to make it harder of him than it already is. “If it’s about William, I don’t want to hear any of it. Get over it already, Honey.”

“I can’t get over it!” he explained as he paced on the foot of their bed. “He was never good for Dru and what makes you think he would be any better for Prudence.”

“He had proved himself more than we expected he would. He had exceeded our expectations. He had given Drusilla everything she ever wanted and then more. He made her happy. What more can you ask for?”

“I wanted him out of her life and he didn’t abide with that…” He gave out a breath, “And look at what happened to her, he killed her…”

“No he didn’t!” Darla interjected, “It was nobody’s fault. Nobody wished what happened to Dru; it was neither William’s nor anybody’s fault.” She placed her hand on his arm to stop him from moving, “I know you’re hurting, Honey but you have to let go… she’s in a better place now.” Silence befell as neither said anything more until Darla decided to break it, “Plus you would never find anything on William, he’s too good of a man.” She retorted as she went back to her previous position and went back to filing her nails.

“Oh yeah…” Lindsay said as he walked over to her side of the bed, “Just look at this,” he handed her the paper he got.

“No way…”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Okay, thanks.” She ended the call as she place the phone back on its cradle. “Who was it?” Buffy heard William creep up from behind her as she felt his hand on her shoulders as she let herself relax into them. “Nobody,” she told him as she turned around and brushed her lips with him.

He moaned before they pulled away from each other, “How about I take my two favorite girls out, huh?” he offered as he wrapped his arms tighter around her waist. She nodded her head against his chest holding on tighter. “Where do you wanna go?” he asked as he kissed her hair taking in her scent.

She looked up at him, “How about if I tell you I just wanna stay here at home… like this.” She answered him as she went back on her previous position head buried in his chest.

“Then your wish is my command…” he answered, “I can always ask Rupert, Joyce and Willow to take the night off so that it’ll just be you, me and Prue. How about that?” Buffy nodded eagerly from her place. “Okay then.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

He knew he shouldn’t even try he couldn’t do this if his life depended on it, but determination was on his eyes as he braved the confines of the kitchen.

Chances are things people don’t seem to get a lot, especially in life. William was certain he would do everything he can to not blow this chance that Buffy had given him. He wanted to prove to her… no show her that what he said was true. They had passion and something more, at least that’s what he felt and he wanted to prove himself right. He racked his brain on what he could possibly do with her. Should he take her out to an expensive dinner… no, she doesn’t fell quite comfortable with those kinds of people. How about out on the boat then… no, reminds him too much of Dru… can’t possibly make Buffy feel comfortable. The park? Then it hit him much like being knocked over on the head, he didn’t need to bring her anywhere, for one thing she doesn’t really have any spare time for she spent most of her time taking care of his little one while he sat on his chair in his office doing what he called work, he could perfectly spend time with her right here in the confines of his house, helping her take care of his own daughter.

So that’s what he had done the past week, taking a little time off from work to spend some time with Prue. Killing two birds with one stone. What kind a father is he to think that he would only take the time to spend time with his daughter so he can date her nanny? He just comforted himself by saying that a step into the right direction is still worth praise. And he had Buffy to thank for that. She had changed him in more ways than she could possibly know. And he hadn’t even thanked her for it.

“Aww… look sweetheart, Daddy is cooking something for us.” William heard the kitchen door swing open Prue carried by Buffy against her hip. ”Smells de- like it’s burning…” she trailed off as she set the baby down on her high chair and effectively raised her eyebrows his way as she peeked over his shoulder.

William looked at his pathetic excuse for cooking and grabbed the pan by the handle forgetting to use a pot holder causing him to successfully drop it onto the stove as his hands got burned. He gave out an OW! Bloody hell! as Buffy decided she better get rid of the pan in the sink herself before further badness occurs.

“I’m pathetic… I can’t even make a bloody dinner!” William said as he continued to nurse his hand as he watched Buffy clean up the mess he made. “Wanted to make you and Prue a romantic dinner, but I should have followed my instincts that told me I couldn’t possibly cook to save my life.”

Buffy turned back to him, “Oh that’s okay… we don’t need romantic.” She told him as she shortened the distance between them. “I sure am okay with it.”

“Come here,” William grinned and opened his arms asking her to come near him and she complied. “Give me a kiss.” And that she did too as they’re lips collided.

Soon Buffy found herself pulling back gasping for breath. “Don’t you think its bad doing this in front of the little one?” she looked as Prue sitting atop the kitchen island eyes staring up at them.

“Oh, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind,” he pulled her closer and kissed the tip of her nose one last time. “Aren’t I right, princess?” he approached Prudence and picked her up as he nuzzled her little tummy, effectively making her giggle with joy. “I guess it’s take out then… How does Chinese sound?”

“I can cook you know…”

“Right, Chinese then.”

Buffy answered her with mouth dropped open in horror, “Who do you think cooks you daughter’s yummy treats, mister!” she told him jutting her lip out in a pout at the same time.

He tilted his head to one side; he never knew pouting could look so adorable. “I never questioned your ability to cook, luv. I just thought that you shouldn’t be working tonight.” He said as he tried to bring her closer to him, “Tonight is supposed to be your night, courtesy of me.” He told her as he kissed the top of her head as she tucked her head under his arm.

From an outsider’s point of view, they looked like a perfect family, having a nice Sunday night all to themselves. But out of their knowledge someone was watching them, frantically scribbling down on his notes in the process.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

William and Buffy sat on the sitting area of the library a mass of boxes on top of the coffee table. They have just finished dinner and have just tucked Prue in for the night. The little girl had immediately fallen asleep as soon as her father had finished burping her. The past few days must have taken its toll on her, getting a lot of attention from her father was something she rarely got. She sure savored the opportunity, keeping her little eyes wide awake as much as possible the last few nights as her father read to her.

“Not bad eh?” William uttered as Buffy began to tidy the mess atop the coffee table.

“What’s not bad?” She asked as she placed the boxes on a big garbage bag ready to bring them into the kitchen for disposal.

“This.” William sat right up from the couch. “Us.” He whispered to Buffy’s ear as he wrapped an arm around Buffy’s waist. She couldn’t help but smile warmly as she relaxed into him.

“Thank you.” He whispered as he began a long trial of kissed down the column of her neck.

Buffy moaned in pleasure before asking, “For what?”

“Giving me a chance,” he said in such a warm voice Buffy could say that he purred it into her ear as he kissed the side of her neck. “Believing in me,” he nipped at the shell of her ear. “And then…” he spun her on his arms, bag full of boxes dangling from her hand. “For everything else…” he trailed off as he caught her lips in a fiery kiss; tongue seeking entrance to her mouth which she gladly gave as their tongues danced. Conveying more thanks than William could possibly put into words, each understanding what the other meant.

Soon the garbage bag fell to the floor as the couple climbed up the stairs and into the bedroom lips never separating from their kiss.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

With a sigh of pleasure, William slumped over Buffy burying his face on the crook of her neck, before giving her a kiss and then rolling over. Pulling her closer; seeking contact.

Buffy sighed as she settled into William’s arms, “That was incredible…”

“Yeah?”

“Uhuh…” she nodded in confirmation as she turned over and laid with her head on his shoulder, legs draped over his, idly drawing patterns on William’s chest.

“Now, wouldn’t you have regretted it if you didn’t give me the chance the other day?” he laughed his chest humming in the process.

“You’re that cocky huh!” she said with mocked disappointment.

“Just know what I’m good at, luv.”

Buffy scoffed, “I’ve had better…” William pulled her to face him and raised as eyebrow at her. “Oh yeah, definitely!” his mouth gaped open in response as a grin began to form on his lips and decided he better punish this little lady before him as he used his fingers to attack her into a fit of giggles. “Stop it!” she shouted through her laughter, trying to catch her breath. “Stop it!”

Soon William pitied the girl as he released her of his torture and gave her a kiss on the tip of her nose as an apology. “For all I know this is one of your wicked fantasies…” she trailed off resuming her earlier position.

“Fantasies…?”

“You know… me… nanny…”

“Well you did get one thing right, sweetheart. I had fantasized about you.” He stressed the last word.

“Really?” Buffy turned over, almost straddling him; glee can be seen in her eyes.

“Yes, pet.” he answered quite confidently as Buffy grabbed the back of his neck and locked her lips with his. Just as he was just about to deepen the kiss, they both heard a sound coming from the monitor that stood on top of the side table. “Ignore it.” William murmured through the kiss grabbing the back of Buffy neck pulling her head closer.

Buffy tried to push him off, “I need to check on Prue…” she said as she began to climb off him.

Before she could completely get out of the bed, William caught her by the arm. “Just a little while more…” he pleaded, much like a little boy, “She’s calming down already…”

Buffy strained to hear the monitor and true Prudence’s cries have subsided if not completely stopped. “Okay…” she allowed him to pull her back to bed. “But I need to check on Prue later…” she trailed off.

William mumbled an answer much similar to an okay as he peppered kisses down her neck.

Buffy lying on her side, William’ arms securely around her; she finally realized that she had never felt more loved and safe her whole entire life. In here, in this house… with this man… this was where she belonged.

to be continued...

Chapter 13

A baby’s life sure is boring isn’t it? William pondered in his mind for he had just spent the last few days of the week stuck inside his house either on the courtyard or inside Prudence room trying to entertain her before she got tired and fall into a deep and long slumber. Which during those times he didn’t know what to do with himself. He hasn’t brought any work with him from the office nor had he asked Faith to bring over anything because he wanted to spend every moment with his little princess. But apparently he didn’t thought of the lull that was when his little princess was resting her eyes.

He tried to follow Buffy around, see what the rest of the household staff does when he’s not in. Well apparently they don’t really do much, just some tidying, a little laundry and some chatting over a cup of coffee or tea. He then realized that he maybe he paid them too much. Nah… he realized he couldn’t possibly risk them not being here because for one thing he didn’t want to take over their job of doing absolutely nothing. Sure at the office he didn’t have anything much to do either but at least he can rely on the fact that the rest of his staff was working their butt off for him. He laughed inwardly at that thought.

And right now he was on his way out the door, ready to get back into the office and sit around there doing practically nothing. As he prepared to descend the steps, he saw Buffy and Prudence coming from the other wing of the house.

“She woke up early, probably wanted to see her daddy off…” Buffy was walking down the hallway, wanting to make her way downstairs and prepare her charge’s breakfast. She had woken up early that morning, at least earlier than she usually does.

Today was William’s first day back to work. She wouldn’t admit it to anybody, but she was going to miss him being around like he had done the past few days. As much as she hated to admit it, she had fun. Sure it wasn’t really the most romantic thing a guy could do to sweep you off your feet and ride you up their white horse. But he did make an effort, an effort to spend time with her and with Prudence too at the same time. She can’t help but think that it was better than anything a potential suitor could have done for her. ‘Whoa you’re thinking of him as a suitor now?’

What better word to use right? What would you call him exactly aside from being her boss? But she didn’t want to think of that right now. She had felt things she didn’t know the name of. Maybe he was right; they did have passion… and something else. She could definitely agree with him on that one, they did have something. She just didn’t know what it was and honestly she thought she was better off not knowing. ‘You’re in for it now, Summers.’

“Well isn’t that sweet of my princess?” William met them half-way as he scooped Prue off Buffy’s arm and made his way down the steps. “You’re gonna miss Daddy aren’t you?” he asked her and she responded much in her own manner.

“Dada! Dada!” she exclaimed as she bounced up and down in his arms.

“That’s fast becoming her favorite word isn’t it?” William asked Buffy not taking his eyes off his little girl. Prue was beaming up at him, oblivious to the world around her. How he wished he could live such a life too.

“Dada! Dada!” she responded yet again.

“Well you are my favorite girl,” he told her and he can’t help but feel that he meant every single word. It was only this past few weeks did he slowly realized that Prue wasn’t a burden for him as he first thought. She wasn’t a terrible memory of his wife that he had to see everyday. Instead or moreover she was the only thing he had left of Dru. She was the only one he had much as he was the only one she had. This little girl knew nothing but adore him despite of his many shortcomings and he’s not going to be the one to ruin that image she had placed in her mind about her own father. He wouldn’t let her down.

“You’ll be good for Miss Buffy now won’t you sweetheart? Make daddy proud.” William smiled back at her beaming face promising just that as they reached the bottom of the step kissing the tip of Prue’s nose.

She scrunched it up making a disgusting face which made William laugh heartedly as he nuzzled her tummy and placed her back into Buffy’s care.

“If you need anything… anything at all… anything happens, you know where to reach me, luv.” He reminded her as he kissed the top of Prue’s head before making his way to the door.

“Don’t I get a kiss?” Buffy asked from the foot of the stairs pout perfectly intact on her lips.

William turned back eyebrow raised in her direction. She blinked her perfectly green eyes, and oh that lip, that lip will be the death of him as he approached her and effectively upturned that pout into a breathless smile.

“You’re gonna get more than a kiss, pet… later,” he winked, letting the door shut behind him leaving Buffy completely flushed.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“So how was the other night?” Willow was sitting on the kitchen island folding laundry with Buffy in front of her feeding Prue her mashed vegetables. William was already gone; Joyce and Giles went out to do some grocery so it was just the two cousins inside the house with Prudence.

Willow knew that she and Buffy have been lacking in girl-time and she was determined to change that by talking about the other night when William had asked them to have a day off, which they don’t normally get, so that’s got to mean that something happened and she wanted the first scope.

“Other night?” Buffy fed Prue with a spoonful of carrots which seemed to have just smeared on the outside of her mouth.

“You know, last weekend.”

“Oh… that other night…” Willow raised her eyebrow, asking her to elaborate on the matter. “Well, we had dinner. William tried to cook, it was terrible.” Buffy shook her head on the memory. “We ended up ordering in and then you know just talking… and then some.” She beamed at that almost forgetting to feed the hungry infant beside her.

“So you two are together then?”

“Together?” Buffy shivered at that, “I don’t think together is really the term you can use for the both of us… I mean it’s not official or anything… I don’t know…” Buffy rose from her seat and made a big gesture of walking over to the sink bringing the bowl and utensils in with her to wash up. “You think we are?”

Willow smiled shaking her head. How can her cousin think for even one second that she and William were not official? The only thing missing was a big parade announcing that William loved Buffy. It was pretty obvious to the whole household the change in the relationship of the two. It couldn’t possibly be denied but instead of replying Willow kept silent carrying the finished folded laundry out. Buffy didn’t need her to tell her what she already knew, she just have to find it in herself to admit it.

“What..? You didn’t answer the question… Willow!” Suddenly the doorbell rang, “Oh, who could that be?” Before getting the door Buffy looked over at Prue she was sitting in her highchair playing with her spoon, she smiled at her before leaving her and getting the door.

“Oh hello!” Buffy swung the door open to reveal a blonde accompanied by two men, one carrying a briefcase and one who just had a scowl look on his face “Who might you be looking for?”

“Oh dear, you don’t know us?” The blonde one asked as they pushed their way inside the house. Buffy could say that they looked vaguely familiar yet she can’t quite put her finger on it.

“Umm… I don’t think so, am I suppose to?”

“I’m Darla… this is Lindsay and this nice gentleman here is Mr. Burnett he’s the examiner,” she said the last part in a whisper.

“Umm…” Buffy stuttered, she had the urge to call for Willow but luckily the redhead decided to bound down the stairs that exact moment.

“Oh, hello Mr. and Mrs. McDonald and…” she trailed off she glanced at the man in the suit holding a briefcase at hand. “How nice to see you. Sir William didn’t mention you were coming over today.”

“Oh he didn’t know we were visiting… we just wanted to see Prudence if that’s okay.”

“Of course it is, Mrs. McDonald” Willow replied quickly. “Oh by the way, you know Buffy right? She’s Prue’s nanny. Buffy this is Prue’s grandparents.”

Buffy still had a confused looked on her face as if trying to figure something out. “We’re the in-laws,” Darla interjected.

Buffy simply nodded her head that was why they looked so familiar, they were the one she saw with William at that benefit. And by the looks of how Willow acted with them and the way Cordelia have mentioned them to her before, she can conclude that William wasn’t their most favorite person in the world.

Having that sorted, she only had one question, ‘What the hell was an examiner?’

“So can we see our granddaughter?” Before neither of them could reply there was a crash from the kitchen.

“Oh my God!” Buffy ran to the kitchen, swinging the doors open. The highchair that once stood by the kitchen island was toppled over. Buffy’s mind raced. ‘Where’s Prue?’.

“What happened here?” Darla came in with Lindsay, Willow and Mr. Burnett tailing behind her. “You left the baby alone?” she concluded seeing the toppled over highchair.

“Well…” Buffy rounded the corner. Astound look on her face as she saw her charge.

“What is-“ Willow came over to Buffy and was cut short by the image in front of her.

“What happened?” Darla asked concerned as she walked over to the two.

“Prue’s walking…” Buffy was speechless, seemingly proud of the little girl. She had caused her heart jump up to her throat by falling over the highchair but she was walking! She was walking! She couldn’t have been more proud. “Prudence, sweetheart… come here.” And with that Prue followed holding on to the island for support as she wobbly made her way to Buffy throwing herself in her nanny’s arm.

“She walked!” Willow exclaimed as if only noticing for the first time. “She walked!” she turned her head towards their guest, announcing her discovery.

“Yes, we can see that.” Darla had a warm proud smile on her lips. Even the examiner seemed to be glad about the little girl’s accomplishment.

“But you left her all alone… in the kitchen nonetheless?” Lindsay interjected disapprovingly. “I don’t think that was a very safe thing to do, don’t you think?” she turned to the examiner, who simply nodded in agreement. “There are a lot of dangerous items she could have hurt herself with. You shouldn’t be leaving a baby alone in a kitchen; you shouldn’t leave a baby alone at all.”

“But… I was just going to get the door…” Buffy explained as Prue laid her head in her shoulders seemingly tired over her recent activity.

“Nonetheless. A lot could have happen in the couple of minutes that you were gone. Isn’t your charge’s safety supposed to be your top priority?”

Buffy couldn’t get a word in, not even to explain herself or anything, all she could do was stand there and take in all of Lindsay’s nagging.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

William walked out of his study, frustrated with himself. He had come back from the office because he had left his portfolio at home. And now he was rushing because he was late for a meeting. As he walked passed the staircases, he heard sounds coming from the kitchen. Curious on what was happening, and a little part of him wanting to see Buffy again before he left for the second time, he walked in on his father-in-law arguing with Buffy about leaving Prue alone.

He coughed to make his presence known, “What’s going on here?” he asked from behind them. Lindsay was the first one to spin around to face him. He and Buffy’s eyes met, she was looking at him as if asking for something and he just smiled at her in reply.

“What’s going on here is that you have an incompetent nanny! She left Prue all alone in the kitchen, the girl toppled over her seat.”

“Is she okay?” was the first thing William asked after hearing the incident. He couldn’t believe that through the course of a few months his priorities have shifted from work to his little girl.

“She’s fine.” Darla tried to make ease of the situation. She knew Lindsay was overreacting, finding a way to spite William. “Not a scratch.”

“She walked…” Willow added.

William looked at Buffy, Prue sleeping in her arms, “She walked…?” he asked in an astounded voice. He had missed his princess’s first step.

Buffy nodded her head in reply, understanding the overwhelming feeling of both astonishment and pride William felt.

“That’s all nice and everything but we have more pressing matters to attend to.” Lindsay butted in. “Betty over here can’t even keep her own charge safe. What kind of nanny did you hire, William? The one who was suppose to care for the well being of your daughter.”

“I just left her for a little while…”

“Even so…”

Darla looked at her watch, “We’d love to stay and chat but we’re gonna be late for an appointment.” She excused themselves before her husband created a big commotion. “We’d visit Prue another time.” She smiled pulling Lindsay and Mr. Burnett with her. “We’ll let ourselves out.”

“Yeah…” William nodded his head, still a bit disoriented with the exchange that happened before him. But he didn’t really have the time to talk it out with Buffy and Willow. Prudence was all right, they could discuss everything else when he got back later that night, he was already late for a meeting as it was. “I need to get back to work…”
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Buffy stood in front of the hard wooden door, mind debating on the next action to take. She had never thought choosing to go into a room could be this hard. She had just finished tucking Prue into bed, when she decided to see what William was doing. She couldn’t help but feel bad all day, as if she had done something wrong. As selfish as it sounds, she had wanted him to tell her it was all okay, that everything would be fine, but he didn’t. He just left and that left her wondering what he thought of the situation. She knew she was blowing it out of proportion just like William’s father-in-law had done but something didn’t seem right, even before she came into their lives, and she had a feeling that she made it all worse today.

Finally, after taking a deep breath and thinking of all the possible scenarios that could happen behind that door, she knocked on it. When she heard William beckoned her to enter, she turned the knob and pushed the door slightly open and peek her head inside.

“Hello…” she quite shyly, still mostly concealed by the door.

“Hey,” William was sitting in bed, a book perched on his lap. As soon as he saw who was at his door, he dropped the book placing it on the night stand. He motioned her to come in; as she did he noticed that she was merely standing a few inches away from the door, hands in front of her. He tried to smile at her warmly but she didn’t seem to be looking her way. He sat up from bed and let himself sit limply on the edge of it, legs dangling onto the floor. “Buffy,” he called to her, and she raised her head just a bit, “Come here,” he invited her, opening his arms out.

She slowly made her way to him and as soon as she got near, William grabbed her and placed his hands on her hips so that she was standing in front of him. “Is something wrong?”

“You tell me…” she answered and William immediately felt the need to pull her in closer. His mind was mentally counting off anything that he could have done wrong to her to make her act the way she was. He thought they have been doing fabulous since last week. He thought she finally understood that they had something special. He could kill himself if he did something to blow it up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he finally gave up, knowing it was probably best that she tell him exactly what it was they were dealing with. “You have to give me some kind of clue here, luv.” He rested his head on her stomach, nuzzling it. He was already trying to lessen the blow by being extra sweet. Maybe she’d spare him a little; it’s known to work on some women. And he immediately knew that she was one of those when she started ruffling his hair affectionately.

“You’re not mad at me?” she asked quite skeptically, as if thing weren’t supposed to be like this.

“About what?” he mumbled from his spot on her tummy, enjoying the feel of her hands playing idly with his hair.

“Prue…”

“What about Prue?” he looked up at her and pulled her to seat on his lap, arms encircling her waist. “The walking bit was spectacular. Why would I be mad at that?”

“Not the walking thing…” she grew bold as she rested her hands on top of his shoulders, reaching behind his head, playing with the hairs at the back of his neck. “The leaving her all alone in the kitchen thing,” she bit her lip unsurely.

“Well…” William trailed off; he didn’t really know how he was supposed to respond. So that was what had her all in a twist. It was adorable if you think of it, Buffy was all worried because she thought she had done something to spite him. It only showed that they were progressing in their relationship.

“I didn’t mean to do it…”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” he squeezed her tighter for assurance. She must have felt terrible; he knew from experience how Lindsay could get you down with just a bit of nagging.

But Buffy had continued as if nothing had interrupted her, “In the back of my mind I knew I probably shouldn’t have left her alone but the doorbell was chiming and no one was answering it. And I know it’s not an excuse-“

“Hey,” he held on to her shoulders, effectively holding her still and stopped her from babbling. “You don’t need to explain to me,” Buffy made a move to continue but he silenced her with a chaste kiss on the lips. “I know you didn’t mean it…” he kissed the side of her lips, “Nothing major happened…” he kissed the side of her neck. “All’s good and well,” he rested his head on the swell of her breast nuzzling the flesh.

“William,” Buffy moaned as if it were a bad word, all worries were out of her mind. ‘All’s good and well’ he said and she let herself believe it.

“So what’s an examiner?”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Bloody Hell!”

‘What did I do?’ Buffy asked herself as he saw William paced in front of her. She wanted herself sitting on his lap again. When she had asked him what an examiner was he went into a list of questions, bombarding her with details about the earlier happenings when he just said that everything was okay. Apparently not all’s good and well.

“Hey,” she held on to his upper arm, preventing him from pacing, “What is it?”

“Nothing…” was his reply, pulling his arm from her grasp, making his way to the door. “I need to call Angel.”

If he needed to call Angel, that can’t be good, Buffy thought as she tried to follow him down the steps and into the study. She had much shorter legs than he did and he was using that to his advantage as Buffy tried to catch up behind him. “What’s do you mean it’s nothing, you’re all riled up. It’s got to be something.” She insisted as she watched him disappear into the hall just as she made her first step down the stairs. But William didn’t seem to hear anything, continually walking until Buffy heard the door of the study slam shut.

By the time she had caught up with him, he had already placed the phone back on its rack, leaning against his desk for support.

“What did he say?” Buffy asked as she stood in the middle of the large room, for the first time she had felt so small and insignificant in front of William. As if her presence didn’t matter at all because he wasn’t really looking at her. Even when they hated each other at least he had shouted and scolded at her but now it was just silence that was between them.

“Nothing,” was his whispered reply; he even sounded as if she shouldn’t have been asking the question, aggravated that he even had to answer. He walked past her not even bothering to acknowledge her.

“William!” she called following behind him, “Would you stop running away from me? I want to know what’s happening!”

William swiftly turned around, “You want to know what’s happening?” he challenged. Buffy reluctantly nodded her head under his gaze. “Fine.” he huffed, “An examiner is a bloody ponce who comes into my life and decided whether I’m good enough to hold custody over my own daughter. That good enough of an answer for you?! ” He stormed up the stairs leaving Buffy astonished about a second taking in the information before she recovered.

“What do you mean custody of your daughter?” she asked helplessly, following behind his steps.

“You bloody well know what I mean.”

“But who’s trying to take her away, Social services?”

William scoffed, “I wished it was that simple, pet.”

“But they can’t do that…”

“They already are…”

“You’re her father…” she tried to reason. Surely they can’t take you away from your own parent?

“But that’s the problem! I am her father!” William felt frustrated and angry with himself. He told himself that he wouldn’t blame himself in this whole charade but he couldn’t help it right now. It really was his entire fault. If he weren’t Prue’s father then none of these would be happening. His in-laws would be most pleased with their other son-in-law who wasn’t such a disappointment. Hell, Dru might still be alive if it wasn’t for him.

“Okay…” Buffy replied unsurely, William seemed to be really pissed off, something she hasn’t seen. Sometime before he was mad at her but never like this and she finally found herself scared of him. “Is there something I can do to help?”

“You’re bloody well helped enough don’t you think?” He asked quite smugly and as soon as it left his lips he regretted it, Buffy didn’t deserve to be treated this way. It was his problem that he had brought on to himself; he shouldn’t be placing the blame on others. But that logical part of his brain was asleep right now and he didn’t really care what he was saying or who he was saying it to.

“But… I didn’t mean too…” she replied unsurely, she didn’t know what to do. Every word she spoke seemed to just surge William on, he was getting angrier and more frustrated and probably losing patience with her by the minute.

“Yeah, But a lot of people didn’t mean to do a lot of things. But that doesn’t change that fact that it was already done. One might have thought that it was for the best when he made the decision but it turned out to bite him in the ass in the end.” He took a deep breath, losing himself in his words, “So yeah, you didn’t mean it.”

He was turning beyond mean now and Buffy didn’t know what else to say, she just wanted to turn back time to when they were in his bed were everything was alright just like he had said. “I’m sorry…” she bit her lip, not knowing what else to tell him. How she wished she could tell him to calm down that everything would be alright. She wanted to kiss him and make all the pain go away. Despite everything he was telling her, she knew he didn’t mean it that way.

“Well, sorry won’t bloody well change anything now would it?”

“I know it’s my fault, but William please calm down…”

“It bloody well is your fault!” he shouted as he slammed the bedroom door open, leaving Buffy in the hallway, afraid to get near him. “But you know… on second thought, it is my fault… for trusting you enough to leave Prudence with you.” With that he shut the door on her face.

Buffy stood outside the hallway, taking in everything she had just heard. She knew he didn’t mean any of it, it was just something he said in the moment of anger and despair but it still didn’t change that fact that it hurt her, as she let the tears fall.

to be continued...

Chapter 14

Waking up in bed, William’s head was pounding, trying to recall if he had been drunk last night. Last night… it came back to him in a rush… his in-laws… Prue… Buffy… Oh God Buffy, what had he done.

He lay in bed, arms thrown against his forehead. This wasn’t his day he had made a mess of everything. He wished he could fall back to sleep again and wake up realizing that everything was just a dream. But he couldn’t, because he knew it wasn’t and now he had to deal with the consequences of what he had done.

As he hauled himself into the shower he thought of all the things he should do today, what’s the first on the agenda? His stomach growled as if to answer his question. First thing, eat something. But he didn’t really feel like shoving anything inside him, like in just a couple of minutes it’s just going to come right back up again. But nonetheless he’s stomach was starving. He dried himself off and got himself dressed before agonizingly making his way down the stairs

Just before he took his first step, he looked to his left, down the hall he saw Prue’s door open ajar. He knew there was a chance that Buffy could be there. He probably should talk to her, but he didn’t know how. He knew he should apologize for everything he had said last night but he couldn’t bring himself to. Suddenly as if his legs were walking on their own, he saw himself nearing her room. As he entered the threshold he saw that the room was bare, she couldn’t have left could she? Not that she didn’t have the right to. The way he spoke to her, the words he had said… even he would want to leave him.

Then he saw Prue on her crib, she was standing, holding onto the rail for support, once she saw him her face gleamed and quickly said her greeting extending her hands up on the air asking for him to pick her up.

He walked over to her cautiously and hauled her up in his arms, he hugged her tightly. All this time he tried to deny that anything was wrong, actually that was false. From the moment he knew that he could lose Prue, he had visibly pulled away from her. Not wanting to get close, shutting himself off, because that way the pain would be less. If he pretended that she was just another person that he had to live with for the time being, and then it would be easier, he wouldn’t have to feel too much hurt if they take her away. But now it was already too late. He had already cared for her, accepted her as part of his life, he had learned to love her much as he had learned to fall in love with…

“Buffy,” William saw her enter the room, carrying a pile of folded laundry. For the first time in a long time, he became speechless, he didn’t know what to do, what to say.

“I’ll come back later,” Buffy began to retreat, it might seem a bit childish but she really didn’t want to talk to him, aside from that fact that she didn’t know what to tell him or how she should act towards him. Some part of her wanted him to apologize, to tell her that he didn’t mean any of what he had said, that everything was going to be alright. For short she wanted reassurance, assurance from him that things haven’t change between them.

“Buffy,” he called after her retreating figure, ‘Say it you git! Just tell her!’ “You should stay… I’m leaving anyway…” William placed Prudence on the floor beside his leg, she immediately look interest in the big stuffed animal on her left, crawling her way over to it.

“Oh…Okay…” Buffy nodded and walked over to the closet, placing the newly folded clothes in.

“So I’m gonna be busy in the office today… probably won’t be home until after dinner. You’ll tell Joyce?” He tried to come up with something better to say but he couldn’t find the right words. This couldn’t possibly be the right time to apologize.

Buffy didn’t seem to be paying him much attention as she was busy stacking the clothes up on the closet.

“Luv?”

“Yeah! Of course.” William almost walked up to her but halted when she immediately answered too chipper for his comfort.

“You know where to reach me if you need anything,” Buffy nodded, back still turned to him. “I better head off then…”

“Uh huh…” was her only reply as William retreated back down the hall.

As soon as she was sure that William was out of ear shot Buffy turned back to find Prudence hunched over one corner of the room seemingly very interested in her pink covered wall.

“Prue, baby,” Prue took the time and looked back Buffy’s way, “Come over here,” she urged her as she sat on the middle of the room, extending her arms out for her to reach.

“Buppy! Buppy!” she chanted as she crawled her way over to her nanny, face gleaming.

As soon as she was in the safety of Buffy arms, she scanned the room, worry etched on the little girl’s face. “Dada?” she frantically looked around. “Dada? Gone?”

“Yeah, princess…” she held her a bit tighter, “Daddy’s gone…” she looked near to tears as she buried her head in Buffy’s hair. “Shh… It’s okay, he’ll be back…”

Prue lifted her head, eyes boring into Buffy. Her tiny hand came up to cup Buffy’s cheek, eyes twinkling as if she perfectly understood how Buffy was feeling and then she did the most unexpected thing, she kissed her then placed her head back into Buffy’s shoulder.

For the first time that day, Buffy smiled as she held her little charge tighter, “I’m gonna miss you…” she whispered.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“And she tells me the fucking examiner was there!” William half-shouted into the phone as she paced the confines of his office. He had been retelling Angel the predicament they were in and if his head wasn’t already pounding he’d think there somebody dropped something heavy on the top of him.

“Uh huh,” was Angel’s reply, seemingly very calm about the whole situation.

“Peaches! Are you listening to me? I’ve been yapping in here for the last hour and you have nothing else better to say than a bloody ‘uh huh’?”

“Will, calm it.” Angel tried to rationalize. William’s attitude was getting out of hand. He was letting blind panic get to him and those things would help neither of them.

“I can’t calm it!” William answered, almost breathless. Retelling yesterday’s event had made his nerves shake once again. The reality of the situation was fast catching up with him and he didn’t know what to do. “I don’t wanna lose her…” he whispered too softly as if he didn’t say it, it would mean that this whole thing wasn’t as real as he made it to be.

Silence befell on the line as neither said anything, “I know Will… and you won’t. You have my word.” Angel assured him, it was the least he could do.

“Anyway, the whole thing is nothing, nothing to keep you up in your toes or anything. Yeah… leverage for them but it’s a tiny thing nothing to really worry about…” he explained calmly, that little incident won’t stop them from winning custody. He made a living out of this and he damn well is gonna win this case if not for William the just to wash that smug smile off of Lindsay’s face.

“Unless of course, there’s something else you’re not telling me…”

“What!... of course not… why would I keep anything…”

“Good then everything’s perfectly fine… no worries.”

“Okay… you better be bloody sure of that…”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Prue was tucked in, her room was sparkling clean and every single toy had been put away, she was tired. Buffy didn’t think she got any sleep last night, she just lied in bed eyes closed but achieved no rest. She thought it would be best if she catch herself a nap while Prue was snoring away in her bed. With the monitor in one hand Buffy decided to make her way over to the little cottage at the back of the mansion she and Willow shared. Just as she was walking through the garden she suddenly felt tears pricking the back of her eyes.

She took a deep breath, trying to force it back down, she had cried way too much already last night. She was all cried out if she do say so herself. But the tears didn’t seem to want to go away as they began tracking down her cheeks. She sniffled a little wiping her face with the back of her hand before she entered the cottage.

As soon as she got inside, she broke down, leaning on the back of the door sliding down on to the floor. She didn’t notice Willow who was sitting on the lounge. As soon as the redhead saw her cousin on the floor body curled up into a ball. She quickly ran to her side putting a hand around her trying to give as much comfort as she can to her. She didn’t know what was wrong with Buffy but that wasn’t really important right now, as she held her tighter rocking her back and forth.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

William sat in his office, deafening silence engulfed the room. There was a pile of work sitting right in front of him yet he didn’t seem to care or pay attention to it. His mind was thinking of something else, he may very well be in his own little world.

Angel had said that there was nothing to worry about, but he can’t help but worry himself, these things have a way of biting you in you ass if you let your guard down. Things may seem to be all perfect right now but you never know when the next thing would come out and surprise you.

He tried to think of something else but nothing seems to come to him, all that plague his mind was last night’s incident. He had really treated Buffy like she didn’t matter. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how she felt right now, guilt was creeping up to him and here he thought he loved her.

Just then he realized, he loved her… through all this he realized he loved her… he never expected that. But it really didn’t matter… she hated him. He screwed everything up just like he always does. Why does he never realize what’s in front of him until it was too late… or maybe it isn’t too late just yet.

With that thought in mind he picked up his phone.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Having cleaned herself up and finally getting herself together, Buffy sat on the lounge with Willow a pot of tea between them. She had just finished retelling her cousin the whole reason behind her little episode a while ago.

“Oh God… he never told us…”

“I didn’t think he told anyone really, probably didn’t want you guys to worry as long as he could have taken care of it.”

Willow agreed with a nod, she was still trying to process the information she had heard. Finally she understood William; that was probably why he had pulled back from Prue a little bit after Drusilla died, he didn’t want to relive the pain he had felt when Dru was taken away from him. “Poor him… So what do you want to do?”

“I’m gonna leave.”

“What?” Willow jumped from her seat, “You’re gonna what?”

“I’m going to leave.”

“But I thought you already rejected that job offer at Lakeside?”

“Yeah, I did.” Buffy rose from her seat, taking the pot and cups with her, trying to busy herself. She knew what was coming; Willow would want an explanation on why she suddenly decided that she was gonna leave. She didn’t feel like she needed to explain herself to anyone right now. She can do whatever she wanted to, she was a grown woman… it didn’t matter that she didn’t really have a good reason for her departure. “I can try and see if it were still available but… I doubt it.” She tried to smile at Willow but her cousin didn’t seem to be buying it. “Probably just go back to the US, there has got to be something there for me.” The truth was that she didn’t really think she could stay in the same city with William right now. It would be hard enough trying to forget the whole Bennedict household, but to risk running into any of them anytime soon wouldn’t really make her pain any less.

“You can’t leave, Buffy…”

“I don’t want to, Will.”

“Then why?” Buffy was about to answer when Willow cut in, “If it’s about what William had said, you do know he probably didn’t mean it… actually I know he didn’t mean it.” Willow walked over to Buffy at the kitchen island. “Buffy, you can’t just pack up and leave… he would be devastated, not to mention Prudence…”

At the mention of her charge’s name, Buffy’s heart immediately went out to her. “I know…” But she need not worry about Prue anymore; William would always be there for her, that much she knew. “But I can’t stay here, Willow. I just can’t. This was a temporary thing in the first place. Everything is better now… William treasures Prue like she’s everything to him. Things would be fine if I leave.”

“You have to give him another chance,” Buffy thought she had given him a chance and look at where it got her. “You can’t leave him now, he needs you.”

“What he needs is someone who can take care of his daughter, and it was apparent last night that it wasn’t me.”

“That’s not all you are to him.”

“Let’s not kid ourselves, Willow… I’m nothing to him, just someone who happened to be there with him; probably felt like he needed to thank me properly or something.” Buffy didn’t really like how Willow was breaking down everything for her to see. She didn’t need to know about who she was in William’s eyes, what’s important is that she had made up her mind. “But don’t worry, Will. I’m not gonna do a runner on them. I care still too much for Prue,” ‘and him’ she silently told herself she’d be damn if she let them know how she truly felt. “I’m gonna give him my two weeks notice… help find a replacement nanny. It’d be fine.”

“Buffy! Are you in here?” A call came from their door; it opened to reveal Giles behind. The occupants of the room turned to him in attention, “I need to talk to Buffy.”

“Come in, Giles” Buffy ushered him in, looking at Willow relaying that it was the end of discussion. She was actually glad that Giles came in when he did, she didn’t think she could take in more of Willow’s interrogation. “What’s up?”

“Umm…” Buffy motioned for Giles to sit but he politely declined, “Actually, someone has asked me to escort you somewhere.”

“Who?” Willow, coming out from the kitchen, asked intrigued.

“Where?”

“Those questions are both very relevant… but it’s not important right now. All I was asked to do was to take you and to not tell where our destination might be.”

“Whoa Giles! You’re getting all cryptic on me.” Buffy joked as she gave Willow an amused smile. It was pretty obvious who Giles was receiving his orders from. She knew she should probably decline the offer but it was very intriguing what he could possibly have put Giles up to.

“Yes well…” Buffy looked at Willow as if asking if she should go, and she just answered her with a shrug.

“I think we better be leaving.”

“Now?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

“Well… okay then,” Buffy shrugged as she followed Giles out the door, “Oh Willow?”

“Yes, I’ll look out for Prue.”

“Thank you.” She smiled at her before trailing off to follow Giles.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“So where are you taking me, Giles?” Buffy asked for the hundredth time. She had tried to sat patiently and wait just like a good little lady. But with the silence, curiosity was getting to her. She had been trying to get something out of Giles but the old man wouldn’t budge, not even a bit. “Come on, can’t you spare me a little bit of a clue?” Giles just looked at her, and finally she gave up.

She sat at her seat in the front, looking out the window. They’d been driving for at least half an hour; she’d reckon they were already a bit outside of town. Her mind was wildly curious now on what William was up to. But she made herself believe that whatever it might be, she wouldn’t let it affect her decision.

As Giles pulled up into a stop, he walked over to Buffy’s side of the car opening the door for her. She stepped out, finally relived to have her legs stretched out. The structure before her suddenly caught her eye. Standing before her was a flower farm, Giles ushered her to enter.

She walked down a path, beside her were vines blossoming with flowers, as she continued to walk down to her destination, she could practically smell the sweet fragrance of the flowers calling to her.

At the end she came upon a circular patch, every corner there was a flower blooming, some she already knew some she had never even seen. Walking around, she in her surroundings, taking in every blossom, it was simply beautiful.

“I wanted to give you all of these, luv but I couldn’t possibly bring them all, so I thought I’d bring you to them instead.” She turned to the voice behind her. He had his usual cocky grin in place but his eyes showed it all.

“A petal for my petal,” he held a single long stem rose out to her.

“Yours?”

“If you’d allow me to, yes.”

to be continued...

Chapter 15

“Yours?”

“If you’d allow me to, yes.”

What did that even mean Buffy wanted to know, she stared up at him and he just stood there holding the rose out to her. She hesitated but took the flower from him nonetheless, smelling the fragrance and held it against her chest. “I-“

Before she could even start her reply, Giles came in and whispered something to William; they talked hushed for about a minute or two. Then he turned back to her and she knew what was coming.

“Pet, I’m sorry but I need to go…”

Buffy tilted her head in question, anger already building up in her eyes.

“I promise to make it up to you…” he held out a hand to touch her, trying to make her understand that he didn’t want to leave just yet but she flinched away wrapping her arms around herself. William nodded his head, accepting what he got, “Giles will take you home…” with that he retreated.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“You know, that really wasn’t the best time to call for me!” William threw the door to Angel’s office open. “This better be good.”

“You tell me…” Angel rose from his desk, picking up a package envelope on his way.

William had a dubious look on his face as he grabbed the envelope and opened it, “Bloody Hell! Where did you get this?” He looked at the sheet of paper closely as if inspecting if it were real.

“In the mail, from our dear friends the prosecutor,” Angel swung his leg up on his desk as William sunk into one of the chair, the paper still in his hand. “From your reaction, I’ll go out of the limb here and say that it’s true?” Angel asked but he didn’t get an answer. “Why’d you do it, Will?”

“It was a long time ago,” William ran a hand through his hair; this was definitely not of the good. “I didn’t actually file the damn thing… how did they even get it?” he wondered as he laid the piece of paper on the desk.

“I can’t believe you can even think of doing that, William!” he shook his head, “That’s your daughter, your own flesh and blood… How can you even think for even one second-“

“I made a mistake okay! Can you bloody shut up about it!” William bellowed. He already had enough guilt screaming in him, he didn’t need Angel stating to him the obvious. He knew what he had done before wasn’t the smartest or even the most decent thing a father could do. It was something he did when he was grieving, though that’s not an excuse, it was never meant to be found out by anyone, no one was suppose to get hurt. He had been troubled by guilt since then. He had a hard time trying to forget it, though he never truly did, you don’t just forget about these things, and now it’s coming back to haunt him. “I know what I did was… bad…”

“Bad? It’s more than just bad, Will! We’re talking about abandoning your daughter! Prudence!”

“I know,” he said through gritted teeth, “I couldn’t even see myself even thinking of doing it now… never!” he whispered. “So stop lecturing me on it!”

Angel held up his hands backing off. “I’m just here to tell you what’s what… and as I see it now… we’re in major trouble.” That got William’s attention. “This is perfect for them! Say that you never wanted Prue in the first place… that’s what happened if through the course of time you would think that she was just a hassle… like you did before…”

“But I don’t! She means the world to me… You know that.”

“Yes… but now you have to make the jury believe that too…”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Buffy woke up from bed; she came home from the farm successfully holding on to her emotions. There were all in a jumble, she didn’t know if she should feel anger, disappointment, hope, should she even feel happy? One thing was for sure though, what William did, didn’t make her decision any harder.

Pulling out a piece of paper from the desk beside her bed, Buffy sat down, she needed to do this while her mind was still set, no reason in delaying the inevitable.

Satisfied with what she’d written, she folded the piece of paper and tucked it in her pocket, she needed to check on Prue. Willow had been kind enough looking out for her charge while she caught up with some much needed sleep.

She walked into the kitchen, finding it empty and bare. Joyce and Giles probably retired to bed early. Looking at the kitchen clock, it was definitely not early… well it depended on how you looked at it.

There was a note on the kitchen island addressed to her, it was from Willow. ‘Buffy, get some much needed rest. I’ll stay in with Prue for the night.’ Then there was a little smiley face beside her signed name. Buffy smiled inwardly, she really was lucky to have a cousin like Willow.

She opened the refrigerator, deciding to make herself a sandwich. Just as she was placing the cheese on her snack she heard a bang but dismissed it, there was always something lurking around the garden, something must have fallen. Then she grabbed herself a bottle of water and began to eat in the dark.

CRASH!

She definitely heard that, it seemed like breaking of glass. She jumped from her seat and stealthily made her way out the kitchen. But she heard nothing… just silence. She must have just imagined it, with her being drained and tired.

BANG!

She definitely heard that, she crossed the stairs over to the east wing of the house and down the hall. She saw light seeping from under William’s study. She pressed her ear to the door and listened intently. There was an evident sound of clicking glasses. She opened the door ajar and saw William on the lounge, the night lamp beside him the only thing illuminating the room.

He didn’t seem to feel her presence as he continued to down the shot he had just poured. She walked over to him slowly as not to surprise him. As she neared she could see the shreds of glass on the floor by the burning fire, it looked as if he had threw the bottle of liquor at the wall.

“William…” she closed in on him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched and turned his head her way, his features softening once he saw that it was Buffy. He offered her a half-smile before turning back and continued drowning himself in alcohol.

Something came over Buffy, it felt peculiar, yet strangely it wasn’t an unfamiliar thing for her to feel for William. She found herself caring for him, wanting to know what was happening to make him act this way. She went and sat beside him as he offered her a drink which she declined.

“What happened here? This place is a mess, William.”

He waved at it dismissively, “Why? Do you care…”

“William please…!” She was trying to help him and he wasn’t making it easy.

“Wanna make me feel better, luv?” He asked groggily and poured himself another shot downing the contents in an instant. “It’s not emendable… don’t make it your business.”

“So that’s how it’s gonna be? You’re gonna shut me out? Think that will help you? Think again.” Buffy grabbed the bottle of scotch away from him before he could pour himself another. “This,” she wiggled the bottle in front of him, “Ain’t gonna solve your problems.”

“Tell me what will then!” William snatched the bottle back, drinking it straight from the container. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “’Coz nothing helps! Not a single damn thing… nothing…” he bent his head down, hand clutched on the bottle tightly. He drank another gulp down, “So tell me, luv… what will help. I’m dying to know.” He said each word, slowly looming over her, Buffy could practically feel his breath on her, the smell of alcohol in her face.

Buffy didn’t know what to say, she had no idea how to make his pain stop. She just knew she can’t keep seeing him like this… she can’t leave him like this.

But she needn’t worry about her answer for William continued on, “Because the whole world just thought that it would be a great time to fuck up my life, God knows I have enough problems! Everything I say… everything I do… it’s never good enough…it’s never right.”

Buffy couldn’t stand seeing him like this, he had the urge to wrap him in her arms, she opted to slipping her fingers through his, lifting the bottle from his hand and placing it on the coffee table as she intertwined his fingers with hers and giving his hand a squeeze.

William looked down at their intertwined hands, then looked up at her with question in his eyes, “It’ll be okay…” she whispered holding on to him tighter. “Whatever it is... that you did, it’ll work out.” Green met blue as she looked deep into him, but he shunned away shaking his head.

He untangled her hands from his and visibly moved away from her. “I don’t think so… what I did… it’s unforgivable.” Buffy placed a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t understand, Buffy. I thought of giving her up… I wanted to give her up. I wanted to abandon my own daughter. Let another family take care of her because I thought she didn’t deserve me… but that’s not true. It’s me who doesn’t deserve her… yet I’m being selfish. I don’t want to lose her…”

She placed her hands on his cheek, for the first time she saw vulnerability in his eyes, he was frightened, scared. Scared, that his little girl was going to be taken away from him. “You’re not being selfish. You love her… that’s enough.”

“Is it?” he tilted his head towards her warm hands, closing his eyes enjoying the comforting feeling he was receiving from her. “I didn’t before…”

“Of course you did,” she answered softly yet firmly. “No parent doesn’t love his own child.”

Resting his head on her shoulder, William moved closer to her, seeking comfort. “I didn’t want her…”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Why else would I have-“

“Shh…” she ran her hands through his hair, tousling his curls. “It doesn’t matter what you did or thought of doing before… it was the past. What matters is now.”

“But they-” he insisted.

“When did you ever care what they thought, huh?” She squeezed his shoulders, as if assuring him that she was there for him.

William gave out a raspy laugh, “Never. But it’s different now…” he argued, his eyes were starting to feel heavy. The alcohol was getting to him, his sight were getting blurry as he blinked fast trying to clear them.

“You’ll get through it… I know you will.” She scooted over to ease him to her lap, he was starting to fall asleep she could tell it from his voice, he was fighting to keep awake, fighting the pain inside of him.

“Why are you so good to me?” He ground his head on her lap, “After what I said...”

“Shh…” she settled her hand on the top of his head, playing with his hair, “none of that… not now…” He raised his hand to hold hers and she accepted it giving it a squeeze and kissing his palm before wrapping it around his sleeping body.

He weakly nodded his head from her lap, letting his eyes fall shut. “Don’t leave…” he mumbled through closed lids, snuggling deeper into her lap.

Buffy kissed his forehead, his hold on her hand tightening but she didn’t answer.

Time have passed as Buffy sat with William sleeping in her lap, she had allowed herself some shut eye in the process. The fire from the mantel had burned out; the sun was peeking on the horizon. She allowed herself to look down on William, tossing some of his curls away from his face. He was still fast asleep, breathing softly hand still clasped tightly on hers.

Slowly she eased him off her lap, he mumbled in his sleep. As if complaining from the lost of contact, he burrowed deeper into the couch. Buffy grabbed a duvet from one of the lounge chair and draped it over him. She gave him one last kiss on the forehead before walking around the couch.

She suddenly stopped over William’s desk, fumbling with the piece of paper in her pocket. She stood there for a good minute or two pondering her move. Finally coming to her decision she slipped her hand out of her pocket and placed the paper on the desk. With that she shut the night lamp off.

to be continued...

Chapter 16

It’s been a week or so since William’s drinking escapade. That week had not been good to any of the resident of the Bennedict mansion. William had been in Angel’s office day in and day out trying to work over their problem. Since that night with Buffy in the study, William realized that sulking and doing nothing about something he had done before wasn’t really helping. He woke up with a new perspective, instead of dwelling in the past he needed to work in the now and hopefully to shape up his and Prudence future.

But that was not all that he had realized that morning. He found a letter from Buffy on his desk, it was her two weeks notice… she was resigning from her job… leaving them. It has caused a rip in their already ripped relationship. She continued to do her job taking care of Prudence but she made an extra effort to avoid him.

Willow had mentioned that Buffy had begun looking for a replacement; he shouldn’t worry because Buffy wouldn’t leave Prue with just anyone. But that wasn’t what he was worried about; he was worried about losing her… and for good this time, and not just as his daughter’s nanny.

But despite this catastrophe, his in-laws wanted to throw Prue a little bash for her first birthday. They had been fussing about it since last week, getting decorators into the house and meeting caterers and party organizers. God only knew why they decided to throw a party now, not that Prudence didn’t deserve a good party, it is her first birthday after all, but could they have picked a worst time.

“So William, you don’t mind us digging a bit in your backyard right?” Darla asked him just as he was crossing over to the kitchen for a drink. “I just thought it’d be nice to ha-“

He cut her off with a hand, “Do whatever you want to do, Dar,” he cracked a smile.

“Is something wrong, William?”

“No, everything’s just peachy.” He replied as he swung the door into the kitchen open.

Joyce was sitting in the kitchen island, a cup of cocoa in her hand, “Well hello, William. They’re rather busy, no?” He shrugged as he sank down on one of the stools. “Hot chocolate?” she offered and he accepted with a nod.

“Darla’s just way in over her head you know… I’m not saying that little Prue doesn’t deserve a party, but now?” Joyce nodded as she poured him a cup.

William had decided to tell the whole household about what he was dealing with. There wasn’t really a reason why he should keep it from them. And much to his surprise they accepted it and supported him at it too. Especially Joyce, well he always knew she was special. She would have made a great mother, too bad she didn’t have any children.

“Maybe it’ll help lighten things up a bit,” she replied handing him over the hot chocolate not forgetting to mix in a couple of tiny marshmallows, his favorite.
“You seemed too tense about the whole situation, it’d be the perfect time to remember your priorities?” she hinted quiet vaguely.

She seriously thought that amidst all this William, together with Lindsay and Darla, are starting to forget who their first priority is. They were letting their bitter dislike for each other get the better part of them and forget that they all each have Prudence best interest in mind. They needed to work together to make sure that she have the best and well rounded life she deserves. And the sooner they figure that out, the better it was going to be for all of them.

“Priorities… yeah mine’s been shifting a lot these days.” He took a sip of the hot concoction just before the kitchen door swung open.

“Oh,” Buffy stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she saw William in the kitchen with Joyce. She turned back and spirited out of the room.

“Buff-“ but before he could even get her name out she was gone.

“What’s that about?”

William almost forgot that Joyce was in the room until she spoke. He raised his head and answered her question, “Nothing really…”

“You know, William” she placed her hand over his. “If I might give you a little bit of advice?” he nodded his head. “Women are not as complicated as you men seem to think. There’s only one thing a woman wants.” He looked at her expectantly, “They just want to be loved,” he patted his hand in a loving manner before rising from her seat and walking out of the kitchen leaving William to ponder with what she have just said.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Throwing open the curtains, Buffy walked into Prue’s bedroom. Her little charge was at her crib, holding on to the railing as she looked out for her, holding her arms out, her face gleaming with joy.

“Whose birthday is it today, huh?” she asked her as she came over to her, clapping her charge’s hand together and giving it a kiss in the process.

“Me! Me!” she answered, or at least that’s what it sounded like to Buffy. She had been teaching her that for the last few days thinking it would be adorable to show it off for her big party today.

She carried her over to the tall glass window, looking down into the garden where everyone was setting up. Tables and chairs were scattered through the yard with a big buffet table at the left. “Look at that castle… doesn’t it look lovely and it’s all for you!” A castle stood in the back of the stage, serving as a background. Darla had decided that the party needed a theme and what better theme than a princess one.

As she set Prue down in her playpen to get her clothes ready, she realized how fast time had flown. Her last two weeks were almost up. Everything was set, her replacement was coming in the morning after she planned to leave, with Willow scheduled to pick her up at the bus station. She looked back at Prudence playing with her toys ideally and she realized just how innocent she looked.

That was what she was… an innocent victim. To both her leaving and her father and grandparents’ fight for custody, she was the victim in it. She had no idea what was happening around her, no control over how things are going to change.

Buffy hated to leave her like this, she truly did, but did she really have any other choice. It would be painful to leave now but it would be more painful if she didn’t.

“How’s our birthday girl today?” Willow came into the room, chipper as ever. “You’re gonna have a big big party! Yes you are…”

“Hey, Wills,” Buffy turned around holding in her arms Prudence’s dress with a couple of pins.

“Is this her dress?” Willow grabbed the hanger from Buffy looking at it skeptically, “It looks adorable!” she held the lacy pink dress close to her, “Don’t you think so, Prue… you’d look smashing in this. Yes you will!” Willow threw the dress over a lounge chair carrying Prue up in her arms.

She giggled with enjoyment sharing Willow’s excitement , “Dada! Dada!” she bounced on Willow’s arm. Both girls followed Prudence’s line of vision to see William at the door. He looked like he had just risen from bed, his hair was a mess, his shirt crumpled.

“Hey,” he greeted them both, “Just wanted to see the birthday girl,” before Willow could offer Prue to her father, she practically jumped off her arms to her father’s. “Hey, princess… how’s my little girl today…”

“Yeah… I better get going,” Willow excused herself, but William didn’t seem to be listening to her for he was busy having an inanimate conversation with the little girl in his arms. “They might need me downstairs, preparations and all that… okay then.”

Buffy was just about to tell Willow that she was going to join her downstairs but her cousin was soon gone even before she could get a word in. She simply turned back to closet, desperately trying to busy herself with anything she can get her hands on.

She didn’t know why she needed to avoid him so much, maybe it was the guilt creeping up to her. ‘Don’t leave’, such a simple request. She knew he meant more to it than just that one night they had spent at his study. In the back of his mind, he probably knew that she was going to leave and he was right. She didn’t want to talk to him because she knew once he started talking to her, he would be able to find a way to work his way back into her heart… and she didn’t want that… she can’t have that.

“You really should stop avoiding me, pet,” Buffy turned, knowing very well who the voice belonged to.

She had a towel clutched to her chest, folding the piece of cloth, she answered warily, “I’m not avoiding, you…” he simply cocked a questioning eyebrow her way, “I’m not.” She placed the towel back into the closet and crossed over to the other side of the room trying to tidy some things, trying to avoid William’s gaze.

“Suit yourself…” He placed Prue back on the playpen and placed a stuff animal in with her. “I just wanted to give you this,” he held an envelope out to her.

“What’s this?” she strode over to him and accepted the white piece of paper.

“Your salary… for the time you stayed here,” She nodded folding it and placing it in her pocket, “I put in a little extra something-“

“Oh, you didn’t have to.”

“Yes I did,” he smiled at her warmly, something she realized she missed. “You’ve been very good to her,” he spared a glance towards his daughter, “… and to me too.”

“William…”

“Look, I’m just going to ask this once,” he didn’t know where he finally found the courage to do this, being rejected wasn’t his most favorite thing in the world. But he guessed wondering on what could have been would have been more unbearable. As the words left his lips, he knew he was walking right into heartache. “Stay...”

There it was, such a simple word yet it meant everything. Such a simple question… yet she couldn’t bring herself to answer it. “I can’t…”

William simply nodded turning his back to her and gave Prudence one last kiss goodbye before he headed for the door, “See you around then.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“You’ve got quite a set-up here,” Angel observed as he took the seat beside William.

Guests were flowing all over the garden, mingling with others while the kids could be seen over by the stage playing games.

“Have to say, Darla and Lindsay outdid themselves this time,” William took the time to survey the place and he had to admit his in-laws have done quite an excellent job. He knew he could never have pulled off something like this in such short notice and his little princess did deserve the best.

“Yeah, I guess…” he took his attention away from the party and back to the drink he was nursing in his hand taking it down in one gulp.

“Not having fun huh?”

“Whatever do you mean, Peaches?”

“Heard about the nanny.”

“What about Buffy?” William kept his eyes focused on the centerpiece, away from Angel.

“Heard she was leaving…”

“Yeah… so what?”

“Oh please. Don’t act like you don’t give a damn, William.” Angel answered, “How many shots have you had?”

“I’m not trying to get drunk. Don’t worry.” He played with his shot glass, letting his fingers trace the mouth of it. “Just trying to have a bit of fun.”

“Yeah…” patting William on the back, Angel rose from his position. “I’ll go and take my seat, the puppet show’s about to start,” Angel left knowing that William didn’t look too good but that he would be fine. He might be hurting right now but he would eventually get over it… he had to. “I need to talk to you about something later, okay?”

With that Angel left as the emcee announced that the puppet show was about to start and for the guests to return to their seats. William saw the people piling into their seats ready to see the show.

Buffy was walking towards him with Prue in her arms, obviously to see the upcoming performance. She offered him a friendly smile which he reciprocated. Prue immediately crawled over to him and he let her seat in his lap as the show began.

In the middle of the program Buffy had excused herself, saying she would see if she were needed in the kitchen. William had let her go, not like he could have stopped her. Prudence was still with him though, she hadn’t move from her position in his lap since the show had started. For an easily bored one year old she sure was awfully engrossed with the performance.

“Is this seat taken?” Darla was hovering over William asking him permission, he simply nodded. She took her seat and sat quietly for a minute or two.

Prudence who noticed the new arrival beside them, climbed up from William’s lap holding on to his neck as she tightly hugged her father, shielding her face from, Darla, the show forgotten. William held her, soothing her back wondering what caused her sudden change of attitude.

“She’s awfully attached to you, isn’t she?”

“Yes, I believe so.” William answered. He tried to figure out what Darla was getting on to as he continued to keep his daughter calm as she started to whimper in his shoulder. “What do you want, Dar?”

“It’s just…” she stuttered, “Nothing.” But William didn’t believe her. “Can I hold her?”

“I guess,” William shrugged as he tried to hand over a very reluctant Prudence over to her grandmother. As soon as she lost hold of William’s neck she started whimpering and then her whimpers turned to wails.

“No… No…” she extended her arms towards William, her eyes were practically telling him to take her back. “Dada!... Dada!” she tried to call between cries.

Soon her cries were beginning to be noticed by the guest. Darla handed her over back to William and she immediately calmed down, her hold on William like a vice.

“She talks?”

“Yeah… a little,” William replied as he continued soothing her, bouncing her around. Prudence didn’t seem to want to stop, he could practically hear her sobs and his shirt was starting to soak with tears. “Look I think I need to take her inside, she can’t seem to calm down.” William said already rising from his seat.

“Do you need help?” William looked back at her and saw her face. He didn’t know what her visage exactly held, maybe it was guilt or it could be pity either way he nodded for her to follow him.

They made their way up the steps and into Prudence room in hopes that they would be able to help her on what was bothering her. But nothing worked, they had tried to feed her, change her, play with her yet nothing seemed to work.

“What’s wrong with her?” William asked as he continued to carry Prudence pacing around the room as he rocked her back and forth, desperately trying to keep her calm. Darla just shrugged, she to was clueless on the whole thing. Nothing seemed to want to calm her and she was running out of ideas.

“Shhh…” William cooed, “Princess, what is it? Daddy’s here… come on sweetheart, tell Daddy what’s wrong,” he practically begged his daughter, he couldn’t keep seeing her in so much pain, his little girl was suffering and he couldn’t do anything to help her.

“Maybe she’s tired…”

“I doubt it, I never heard her cry this much… something must be wrong.”

to be continued...

Chapter 17

“Maybe she’s tired…”

“I doubt it, I never heard her cry this much… something must be wrong.”

Soon they heard hurried footsteps coming from the hallway. It was Buffy, she had heard Prue’s wails from downstairs where she had left the monitor, forgetting to turn it off. “Hey, is everything okay?” She asked as she saw William and Darla pacing the room.

“She can’t seem to stop crying… I don’t know what to do,” William told her as he continued bouncing the crying infant in his arms.

“Let me see,” Buffy walked over to William, she asked for Prue but he hesitantly gave her as if he didn’t want to be away from her. But finally he did hand her over and Buffy felt for her temperature. “She’s warm… I think she has a fever.” William gave her a panicked look, “It’ll be okay.”

“Don’t you think it be better if we take her in… for the doctor to see?” Darla suggested as they heard Prudence wails subside.

“I think that would be best… right?”

“I’ll call the pediatrician, then.” Darla offered taking her phone out of her purse. “You guys go on ahead, I’ll take care of everything here… I’ll explain to the guest,” she held the phone firmly to her ear as she waited for an answer.

“Thank you.” William asked Buffy to follow him, looking at Prue once more before hurrying to the garage.

“Shouldn’t we call for, Giles?” Buffy asked as she tried to keep up with William’s strides.

“No, It’ll be faster if I drive.” He opened he passenger door for her before he jumped in the car and stepped on the gas.

“You should really drive slower,” Buffy suggested. William had been going over eighty kilometers per hour. With his driving they might just get into an accident, instead of getting to the doctor’s clinic faster. William didn’t seem to hear her as he stepped on the gas. “William,” Buffy placed a hand on his arm and the car slowed to an acceptable speed.

“You don’t understand,” he tried to explain as he continued to drive, “She’s hurting and I don’t know what to do!”

Buffy could almost laugh if he didn’t sound so helpless, “She’s just having a fever, she feels a bit worse right now but she’ll be fine,” he tried to make him understand but the problem still remained, they still had a crying baby in her arms.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“I’m sure Prudence would be fine,” Darla had just finished explaining to Lindsay what had occurred. After the program she had calmly told the guest that the birthday girl won’t be able to join them for candle blowing. The guest had fluttered out saying their thanks and giving their care to the family.

Now they have nothing to occupy themselves as the caterers cleaned out the backyard. William and Buffy had been gone for over two hours now. The sun had set and Darla was beginning to worry. There was nothing to fear if what Buffy said was right that little Prue did just have a fever but how about if it were something else.

As they heard the sound of a car coming into the driveway, Darla immediately jumped from her seat and waited for William and Buffy to come into the door.

As they turned the knob on the main door they were met with Joyce, Willow, Giles, Darla and even Lindsay apparently anxiously awaiting their return.

“How’s Prue?” Darla immediately hovered over Buffy who had the sleeping baby in her arms.

“She’s fine…” Buffy answered question after question. They have seemed to let their imagination go wild while they were away.

“I think I better take her upstairs,” William took Prue from Buffy. The chatter of the household was bound to wake her up, either that or they’ll be getting a good shouting courtesy of him. He proceeded up the steps to tuck Prue in for the night.

Lindsay, who had stayed behind with Darla at the lobby soon got bored and decided to follow William upstairs. He had been meaning to talk to him something.

From down the hall he could hear a voice coming from his granddaughter’s bedroom. As he neared he recognized it as William’s.

He had Prue tucked in his arm, pacing the room as he hushed her to sleep. “Don’t you ever scare Daddy like that again, princess. You understand?” He was seemingly talking to the sleeping infant in his arm. “My heart almost stopped when I realized you were in trouble… Daddy loves you very much…” He slowly lowered her to her crib. “I can’t live without you, princess… Don’t you dare scare Daddy like that ever again.” He slumped down the lounge chair beside the crib, eyes not turning away from Prue.

Lindsay, having heard the little exchange, stood from the hallway utterly astounded. He had always pictured William as the uncaring father. He knew that he had wanted a baby from the beginning; Drusilla couldn’t have stopped talking about it. But after his wife’s death, William had seemed to pull back from his daughter he had held precious and to the work he had been most dedicated to.

He knew that one of the main reasons why William had worked himself into a success was because he had been searching for their approval. From the first day Drusilla have brought him home for them to meet, he had already disapproved of him and ever since then he had been pushing himself to meet their expectations.

They or rather he was blind, unable to see the man he had become, a loving husband and a dotting father. The sheer joy he could place on his most precious girl’s face just by his mere presence. He might have been wrong all along.

Looking back to where William had been, he saw him sitting at the lounge chair, sleeping as he quietly shut the door.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

The next morning, Buffy came up the stairs to check up on her charge. Last night, after she had answered all of Darla’s questions; she had wanted to check up on Prue. But Lindsay had come down saying that she and William were both fast asleep. Since she knew she was with her father, she thought nothing of putting off on it.

With a warm milk bottle at hand she opened the bedroom door. William was slouched on the lounge chair, in a seemingly uncomfortable position. Prudence on the other hand, she found wide awake on her back, fever forgotten. She had a big smile on her face as she scooped her up and fed her the bottle.

Just then she felt the sleeping body of William stir at her side. “Good morning,” she greeted him as she carried Prue around happily sucking on her bottle.

“Morning…” he stifled a yawn as he got off the chair and stretched his muscles out. “How is she?”

“Good as new, all cheery as if nothing happened.”

“That’s good…” he nodded walking over to them. She looked at Prudence encased in Buffy’s arms while she fed her and he didn’t know what came over him but as he looked at them, he felt a warm feeling surge up inside of him like the picture before him was how things should be. “Can I?” He offered and Buffy nodded handing Prue over to him.

“Dada!” she greeted him. William smiled down at her as she offered her the bottle once more.

“I think I’ll go and get her medicine ready, you’ll be okay alone with her?” Buffy asked as she finished making Prue’s bed. William was sitting on the lounge chair as he fed her, oblivious to pretty much everything around him. “Okay, I’ll go then,” she looked over one last time and William just gave her a dismissive nod. All she could do was smile as she went out the hall and down the steps.

“Oh hello Mr. McDonald” Buffy greeted as he saw Lindsay come into the front door, “Is Mrs. McDonald with you?”

“Oh yeah… she’s out back with Joyce, they needed to talk about something. Do you mind if I see Prue?”

“Oh… no not at all,” she smiled hesitantly, as soon as she knew about the fight for custody with William, Buffy had a very biased opinion on the couple but she tried not let it show whenever they were with her. She didn’t really want to meddle in business that she had no right interfering with. “She’s upstairs with William. Go on up.”

“Thank you.” He answered as he made his way up the steps, walking down the hall in front oh his granddaughter’s bedroom.

“What are you doing here?” William asked in a hushed yet sharp tone as to not disturb the little girl sucking her bottle in his arms. “The party was over yesterday… there’s no business for you to be here.”

William didn’t want to sound hostile; this is after all still his wife’s parent and his daughter’s grandfather. But he couldn’t help it, when someone plans to take your own daughter away from you, you really can’t be expected to act like your best buddies with them.

“Darla needed to talk to Joyce about something,” he walked over the threshold and stood over William sitting on the lounge chair. “I thought I’d see my granddaughter. It’s not a crime is it?”

William sneered up at him, “Now you’ve seen her… you can go.”

“Look, William-“

“What?!” he stood up holding a defiant posture before walking over to the shelves and placing the bottle on top as he held her daughter up over his shoulder. “I’m sick and tired of this bullshit you’re trying to play at. What the bloody hell is it that you want from us?” He tried to keep his voice as low as his he could. He didn’t really feel like arguing in front of Prue was the best example neither of them could give her.

“I just want what’s best for Prue.”

“Bollocks!” William snarled at him. “You think what’s best for her is taking her away from her own family?”

“We’re her family too, William.”

“Family… you’ve got some nerve. You have never treated me like family!”

“How can you say that! We treated you very well.”

“When?” William scoffed.

“We let you marry our daughter didn’t we?”

“Yeah...! After I had to practically beg to take her hand in marriage! Make sure that I had more than enough riches! Reach you expectations!” William trailed off.

“Nevertheless, we never treated you anything less than kin.”

“Bloody hell! You sodding ponce!” He placed Prue down on her playpen, their tone was still hushed but no one could deny the hostility each word delivered held. “I never felt like I was family! Never! Not even when we we’re already married. You knew that Drusilla held you very dearly and you damn well used it to you’re advantage! You made sure that my life was as close to hell as possible… that’s not what family does!”

“We wanted what was best for her,” Lindsay answered, teeth grinded together, jaw twitching.

“What was best for her was to treat her husband like crap? I don’t think so… so don’t come in here and tell me that you’re family!”

“Whatever you might think, William. You have to understand that it was never my intention –“

“Don’t feed me that bullshit!”

“Bullshit?! You wanna talk about bullshit? We were damn right not to trust you, William! Putting your own daughter up for adoption isn’t really one of your brightest moments was it?” he knew it was a low blow but he was right.

“That was a long time ago” he grinded his teeth together, this was something he could never get away with was it. There are just some decisions you make that haunt you forever. “I have paid my dues on it… you don’t know how much it kills me to even think of it.”

“What’s done is done… how do you expect me to trust that you won’t wake up one day and decided to want to rid of your daughter?”

“Because I love her, that’s why… She’s my world. If you really did give a damn… don’t do this,” his voiced softened. He didn’t intend to show how vulnerable he was, but he was willing to do anything to keep his daughter. If he had to beg then he would because nobody was more important to him than Prue and he knew that he wasn’t gonna be able to keep her if they kept this going. “You can’t just take her away from me… She’s the only one I’ve got.”

Silence befell as neither man said anything.

“You’ve got to understand what I’m saying, you’re a father too.” Lindsay shook his head as he looked down onto the floor, not wanting to look into William’s direction. He did understand… William had lain down his cards and now it was up to Lindsay to make his choice.

to be continued...

Chapter 18

People. People are like birds, they come and go. Come spring they visit our windows building their nest. Singing their tune to bring us joy, and sometimes pain. And much like people they have a purpose to be there. But once winter comes around, they pack their bags and begin their flight seeking somewhere else to stay. And much like when people leave us, we can do nothing but wait for them to return remembering the times spent before.

Riding the elevator up to Angel’s office, William thought what the hell had happened. Prudence was as good as new but as he looked back on the last couple of months, he had to wonder how the hell he had managed to screw up his life. He had neglected his work and his family because he couldn’t handle the pain of losing someone and now because of him yet again he’s going to lose someone he held dearly. And in the short span in between, he had felt a small flash of happiness, well he managed to ruin that too. They say life is like a wheel sometimes you’re up sometimes you’re down but why does it seem like it’s always his turn at the bottom.

‘When you finally learn how NOT to be poncy git’ his mind answered as he opened the door to Angel’s office.

Angel gestured for William to take a sit before placing the phone he had been on down. “So what do we owe this visit for?”

“Oh stop the formality crap, peaches. What is it you wanted to talk about? I really don’t have time, for unlike you I do have better things to do.”

“Why so bitter, Spikey?” Angel sneered as William cringed at the name. He came to think that he didn’t mind it as much anymore. It had always been Dru’s pet name for him, something he didn’t like remembering before but realized now that he didn’t really mind thinking about her every now and then. Things were certainly turning up. “Anyway, I just wanted to discuss a few things Lindsay has said to me the other day.”

William visibly cringed at the mention of his in-law’s name. He hated the guy more than ever now. Why did he ever think that he could have a civilized conversation with him? Oh yeah because he was desperate. Maybe if they had maybe talked it out, then he would understand. But because of the great wanker that he was, he simply dug up something more for them to disagree upon. Even when he had almost came close to begging he had simply turned his back and nodded away.

“What did the wanker want this time?”

“Well actually-“

“Cause if he plans to stir up more trouble, then I say bring it on!”

“Actually-“ William was about to interrupt yet again, “Would you let me finish?” William simply slouched down on his seat asking for Angel to continue. “He dropped the case.”

If it weren’t so unmanly, William would have had his mouth hang open instead he did what every self respecting British man would, he cursed. “What the bloody hell?!”

“Well apparently he… had come into the light and realized his mistake, his words.”

William blinked his eyes rapidly as he got up and paced.

“You could have imagined my surprise when his lawyer called.”

“So this is for real?” William stopped long enough for him to look at Angel who was ideally sitting on his chair playing with his pen.

William took a minute to ponder the effect of this decision. It meant that he and Prue were free to do as they please, his daughter will never be taken away from him, he may securely love and care for her without the fear of losing her.

“But he does have one condition,” William mentally cringed, he knew it was too good to be true… he should have known. “No way! It better not be something-“

“He just wants visiting rights.”

“Just that?” William raised his brow in disbelief, it seemed to be too easy… but who was he really to complain.

Angel simply nodded in reply, “That and maybe a few nights with her sometimes.”

William accepted the arrangement, he couldn’t be too picky. He was fortunate enough that Lindsay gave him another chance. “What do I have to do?”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

As soon as he had finished signing papers and all the formalities Angel had needed, he immediately drove home wanting to share the good news. This was something he never could have seen coming. The main problem was over, maybe it was finally his time on the top on the wheel.

As he opened the door, the first thing he noticed were the suitcases at the bottom of the stairs. Immediately his mind raced. No this couldn’t be happening, not now… “Buffy? Buffy?” he bellowed as he took the steps two at a time, practically running down the hall in panic. If her suitcase were downstairs that meant one thing, she hadn’t left yet… and that was a good thing. It meant he could still do something.

He found her inside Prudence’s bedroom, she just had her on her arms as she set her back down on her crib. “Buffy…?”

“Hey…” she faced William, smiling at him as if it were any other day. “I was just saying goodbye…”

William froze, he didn’t know why. He knew she was going to leave, he had expected it, she had been very straight forward about it. But the reality of the situation didn’t hit him up until this moment, his mind was probably still in denial about the whole thing. He had been so used to her presence around them that he wouldn’t let himself believe that she was going to leave for good… because maybe in the back of his mind he was still hoping to convince her not to.

He knew the one thing he needed to say that would practically make Buffy his again. But it wasn’t a done deal, which was what was keeping him from leaving his heart out there in the open. He was just beginning to heal; he didn’t think he could risk getting hurt again.

What William didn’t know was by holding himself back, he wasn’t only hurting himself but her too.

“Please don’t make this hard,” Buffy pleaded before William could speak.

“So you were just going to leave…? No goodbyes?”

“I was going to leave a note,” Buffy cringed hearing for the first time how impersonal it was. They had shared something special at least on her part and he deserved more from her than just a note. But she knew it wasn’t going to be easy, he wasn’t going to make it easy that was why she opted to leave without a proper goodbye in the first place.

“Buffy…” he placed his finger under her chin, lifting her head up to meet his eyes but she flinched away, gathering herself together. She shouldn’t let him get to her; she needed to do what she must. ‘It was for the best’ Buffy tried to convince herself.

“I think you should have this…” she handed him over a leather bound journal. “I think it was Dru’s… I found it cleaning in the attic. I thought you should have it.” William bounced the book in his hand as he listened to Buffy. “Anyway, I should really go…”

“Do you have to…?”

“Wouldn’t want to miss my boat,” for a second a flash of disappointment burst behind his eyes but William quickly recovered.

“Yeah… wouldn’t want to have that.” He bowed his head as Buffy slowly retreated out of the room. Could he just let her go? Just like that… it felt wrong. He was damn sure once she got out that door and he didn’t do anything he’d regret that decision forever. “Buffy… wait.” She turned to look at him as he slowly closed the distance between them. “Don’t-“

She cut him off before he could get any more words in, “You said you’d only ask it once…” with that she turned her back to him and left.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Sitting inside her little cabin, she sat in the middle of the bed looking into the dark void of the turned off television. Suddenly she felt as if the walls were closing in on her. Alone sitting inside the silent room she decided to get some fresh air.

Buffy walked out into the hall, locking the door behind her. A little girl ran pass her and Buffy’s eyes lingered on her for a moment picturing Prudence with her shiny black hair bouncing about as she ran around the yard. She wouldn’t be able to see that anymore…

Walking around the deck, she knew that thinking about them wouldn’t really help her much. But she just couldn’t help herself. The few months she had spent in the Bennedict mansion had meant a lot to her. The people there have been special to her… especially him

As she stared out, leaning on the railing. The sky looked completely black from where she was. There was no star in sight, complete darkness engulfed her. She figured that it suited her situation… it seemed poetic when you think about it. But as she continued to look out onto the ocean, a sudden light came into to view from afar and as the ship sailed towards it, she saw that it was a lighthouse.

A lighthouse shows you the right path to take. Just like in life, everyone has a lighthouse…

Something or someone has to guide them. Or they would loose their path…

And then she realized… she had done her purpose… she had been his lighthouse… she had stirred him into the right path and now it was up to him...

to be continued...

*----*----*---- 4 months later*----*----*----*

In the cold autumn night, he walked the across the green grass, his little girl holding onto to his hand as they crossed the cemetery grounds.

He hadn’t come to see her in such a long time, he had been busy… he knew it was no excuse but he also knew that she would understand. His dark princess… God, how much he had missed her. First he tried to forget, try to block her from his memory but as the days and months pass he knew he shouldn’t… it would have been wrong. He couldn’t, she had been a big part of his life. They both had. Both women he loved and both woman he lost… he’d let himself love again but he would never forget them.

Slowly he sat down in front of the familiar gravestone, letting his little girl sit on his lap. He bent over placing the flowers in the middle, tracing her name with the tip of his fingers. He took in a ragged breath as he tried to hold his emotions in, fighting back the tears that are threatening to fall. No matter how long it had been since he had lost her it still felt the same, it still felt painful but he needed to be strong for his little princess was with him, he needed to be strong for her.

“Prudence,” she looked up at him from her position in his lap. “There’s your mommy…”

“Mommy…?” she repeated the word much like she always did whenever somebody talked to her but with a little hint of a question. Like she didn’t know what was in front of her could possibly be considered this word her father had said.

“Yeah… princess. Mommy… she loved you very much…” he trailed off as he felt tears pricked behind his eyes. He let a few fall wiping it with the back of his hand. As soon as he had gathered himself together, he took from his coat pocket a leather bound journal, opening it in front of him and Prudence.

He had made a habit of reading Drusilla’s journal day to day since the day he acquired it. It was a new insight into her views… sometimes it made him cry sometimes it made him mad and sometimes it made him laugh nevertheless it was something to keep her fresh in his mind, something to remember her by.

Dated October 6, 1999…

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

October 6, 2005

Buffy held the piece of paper in her hand as she sat outside the porch that night. The letter had been with her for the last couple of weeks, she hadn’t wanted to read it because she knew whatever it was it’d just make her remember. But she doesn’t need a letter to let her remember what she was desperately trying to forget… she couldn’t.

She had continued to live her life; she had gotten a job at the local hospital and a nice little place in the quiet side of town. She couldn’t have asked for anything more… but she was.

She had found the letter with her junk mail one morning, she had placed it in the middle of the coffee table and sat just staring at it, deciding if she would open it or not. She knew whom it came from and she was pretty sure she knew the message it held. In the end she decided not to open it, leaving it inside her kitchen drawer before she left for work. She told herself she’d get rid of it; she didn’t want to read it… she didn’t want to know. It was pretty easy for her to just throw it in with the trash, toss it into the fireplace or just simply lose it… but she didn’t.

And now sitting in her porch, she didn’t know what compelled her to get the letter from it’s hiding place… after weeks of fighting with herself, did she want to read it all along… the answer to that was pretty obvious as she tore the envelope open.

First she saw a picture inside, it was of Prudence, taken on the lawn… she was in the middle of a pile of leaves just like when she was smaller the first week she had taken care of her.

As she stared at the picture, for the first time since she had left England she let the tears fall. Keeping herself together she placed the picture aside making a mental note to place it on top of her mantel with the other photographs she had held dearly. And as she opened the piece of paper, her eyes rapidly read the words he had written but only one thing stayed with her.

I said I’d only ask it once… but I asked you twice, so what the hell I’m gonna ask you again. Buffy… please come back, we need you… I need you.

*********

When you try your best but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want but not what you need,
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep,
Stuck in reverse.

Buffy pays for her ticket and makes her way to the docks waiting for her boat to arrive. She has always figured herself as a courageous person but never this brave. She’s going to be walking into a cave not knowing what would be waiting for her at the end. It’s as if her legs had a mind of it’s own as it dragged herself onto the docks after she read the letter William had written over four months ago. Four months… a lot could happen in four months. A lot of things could have change… he could change, but she was willing to take the chance, she’s ready to get hurt… she just needed to know.

And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you can't replace,
When you love someone but it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?

William sits within the darkness of his study, it has been raining the whole night and he wasn’t able to get much sleep because Prudence has been restless; but her new nanny seemed to have managed her by now. The nanny was good to her; she cared for her, maybe even loved her to a certain extent but still Prue cries for Buffy’s love and affection. Through the extent of time, Prudence started to forget, forget that there was ever a Buffy that had been a part of her life, accepting this new change. How he wished he could do the same, how he wished he could move on, he tried he really did but when in times like this when he was all in his lonesome, that’s when he thinks of her again, these are the times he dreads most. How he wished things were different, how he wished she was here with him.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
to Fix you.

Now she stands in front of the gates the rain pouring down on her, but she doesn’t seem to care as if she was numb to it all. She had come all the way from the US with no assurance of what to expect. Now she stands only a few meters away and she can’t seem to move. Can’t seem to make herself come closer neither can she make herself turn back and leave. Then suddenly the porch lights turned on. She froze, can’t move, can hardly breathe. She waited, until a shadow appeared and her heart quickened knowing already who the shadow belonged to yet she still can’t move, can’t shout out to him.

And high up above or down below,
When you're too in love to let it go.
If you never try you'll never know,
Just what you're worth.

As he came into the light, he saw her, bathe in the moonlight, until now she still looked like an angel, his angel. William’s mind filled with question and doubt. He didn’t know if what he was seeing was just a dream. It wasn’t the first time for it to happen, he had dreamt of her return every each way possible for the last four months and he would always wake up heartbroken because he knew it would never happen. And now as he moves closer, he tried not to blink in fear that when he opened his eyes ones more she would be gone.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
to Fix you.

They stare into each other, neither moving and as if on cue the gates between them suddenly opened and they were left all alone. There were no more barriers between them, nothing to keep them apart. In that moment it was up to them to decide.

The tears stream, down on your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace.
The tears stream, down on your face tonight.

The tears stream, down on your face,
I promise you I will learn from mistakes.
The tears stream, down on your face tonight.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
To Fix you.

The End.