Disclaimer: I don’t make any money from this, just like making the Spuffy world a little nicer.

*Regular text = quotes, Italic text = a person’s thoughts


Sometimes she still couldn’t believe it. No matter how many years had passed, no matter how many curious looks she received – she still didn’t recognize it as her own. It was so unfamiliar to her, as alien as the idea was that Dawn was not her sister. But it was there nevertheless, an ever present reminder of that one single moment. The moment that brought joy and sorrow into her heart all at the same time and could never be described as anything more.

When people were brave enough to ask her about it, they said many things – trying to be polite. Some of her comments were: it’s interesting, adds character, but her all time favorite was “oh, you can hardly notice it.” That always made her laugh, not notice it, how could you not notice something that was such a defining part of her life.

And the funny thing was, she wasn’t talking about the wedding ring that weighed down her finger, no it was the scar. A permanent marker of what had transpired between her and her lover down in the pits of hell. Willow had once said she could remove it and Buffy considered it, but decided against it. After all, it was the physical manifestation of the only time she’d ever really loved.

At first, it seemed that her hand was healing, using the good old slayer capabilities, but then for some reason it stopped. The lines where the flames had joined their two hands together seemed to grow deeper and redder, almost as if a testimony to the pain they’d brought to each other’s lives. The only place that the scarring didn’t reach was where their palms had fused together. That was the only spot left untouched, almost mocking her, telling her that if she’d only truly been with him then the scars that the eyes couldn’t see would be erased from her as well. But she never really knew exactly…

“Buffy!” Causing the ex-slayer to look up startled.
“What?” She asked her boss, an overstuffed man who thought that just because Buffy’s job title was secretary, he could treat her like his own personal slave. She’d been working here forever, just after she and her husband had moved back to America. It was a small shipping company and she had the wonderful responsibility of making sure everything got to where it was supposed to be.

“Did the Murphy package get to where it needed to go?”
“Of course Mr. Lyle, I sent if off three days ago.” Like I don’t know how to do this job after 15 years.
“Good, good. Sometimes I don’t know where your head is. With Spike, always with Spike. You’ve always been such a day dreamer – but then you’re a looker too, so I guess that’s why I keep you around.” Yeah, that and I’m the only one that puts up with your stupidity. Spike would have threatened to eat her boss, but her husband only offered her comfort.

It’s not like her husband wasn’t kind to her. He was amazing, someone who would make any girl happy, just not her. Don’t get her wrong, she led a fairly content life, full of everything that a woman needed: a husband, a job, a comfy house on the coast of Maine, and the aching emptiness of not being able to have children. Take that one Angel – no fat grand-babies for me. Her husband hadn’t minded, his only comment was that instead, if she didn’t want to adopt, he would spend the extra time spoiling her. Of course, his idea of spoiling her was adamant praise for things that most people take for granted – like a nice clean house.

Joe Reed. That was her husband. Joe, a tall man, with dark hair that was slowly starting to have more salt than pepper who was about five years older than herself. He was very mild mannered, polite, considerate, the very antithesis of Spike. Buffy would have chosen someone more like her lost vampire, but it hurt too much to be involved with anyone who reminded her of Spike in even the smallest of ways.

“Buffy!!”
“Yes, Mr. Lyle?” God now what?
“You drifted off from me again; I was going to ask if you were going to take your lunch break since that package was sent.”
“Oh, right…thanks….um, yeah. I’ll see you in an hour.” Finally, she could be away from him.

Of course, being away from work wasn’t something that she necessarily liked. Being alone only led her to memories. In order to avoid this, she used to have lunch with Joe, but he recently got a new job in a non-profit legal aid office, further up the coast and there wasn’t enough time. So instead Buffy went to a diner not far from work to let the memories overtake her.

Normally she remembered happier times, or at least that was the way that her heart let her remember them. The countless hours that they had spent making love in his crypt (yes she altered that idea too). But today, she wasn’t allowed. Something about the ominous clouds made her think of his eyes that day where she truly lost him.

She’d been living in Rome, happily being drunk at 10 am and hanging off the arm of the Immortal. Not because she loved him, hell she didn’t even like him, hence the drunkenness. But he was a link, a link to her old world. He knew them, Angel and Spike, even if his tales didn’t put either of them in a favorable light, they were still stories that she didn’t know. Stories that later on when she was falling asleep, she could pretend that Spike was telling them to her, in one of the rare times that he would tell her a story that embarrassed him, just to make her laugh.

One night, she’d come home and found Andrew fidgeting nervously in her living room. At first he wouldn’t tell her what was wrong, but he’d eventually given up the secret: Spike was alive. He apparently had been for some time, but didn’t contact her and according to Andrew didn’t want to. Some stupid reasoning about not being able to top his exit. Like she gave a damn about that. She just wanted him back!

Buffy just stood there stricken, very reminiscent of a Glory inspired catatonia. Andrew finally had to lead her to bed, hoping that she’d come out of it in awhile. But she didn’t – just kept thinking he didn’t believe me, I told him I loved him and he didn’t believe me. It had hurt so much when he’d said it. But she tried to be logical about it, he was just trying to get her out of that cave, right? That’s what she tried to tell herself. She had to believe it, because if she didn’t he’d just be another man that left her. She wasn’t enough for another person. But that couldn’t have been what he meant. He was in her heart and he couldn’t believe it. As adamant as she’d been that he couldn’t love her, was the same conviction that he couldn’t not. It was in his make up; he just didn’t stop loving someone. Even if Dru needed help after all of these years, he’d do it – because he’d once loved her.

Admittedly, she’d treated him horribly. Maybe he couldn’t believe it, not yet anyway. Granted she didn’t pick the best of settings to convince someone of her undying love, but she hadn’t recognized it until then. Spike had been larger than life, he couldn’t die, and he’d always be around. But at the moment, she realized that she really could lose him and that had given her the sudden realization that she’d loved him all along.

She had to convince him, so she broke off whatever freak show she’d with the Immortal and flew to Los Angeles. The whole flight over, she’d been thinking that she could finally stop pretending to be happy for everyone else. If she got Spike back, then she could truly be happy, perhaps happier than she’d ever allowed herself. She knew the moment that she saw him she’d fly into his arms and into the rest of her life.

Don’t get her wrong, she was going to give him a good talking to for not coming back to her, but then she was just going to enjoy being in his arms, being able to smell those distinct things that made him Spike: whiskey, cigarette smoke, and leather. She’d kept a few of his shirts just to remind herself of his essence. But she rarely allowed herself to open the plastic bag that they were in, so as not to lose the smell. She’d even gone so far as to buy an unseemly amount of black shirts to wear to sleep at night. Pathetic, but also in love.

When she’d gotten to Wolfram & Hart, she tried to push down the worry that he didn’t love her anymore and that Andrew was only trying to spare her feelings with that ridiculous story of his death meaning nothing to her. She’d understand if he didn’t…no, she couldn’t think like that. That had to be another reason why he didn’t come back to her.

Stepping off the elevator, she nearly had a stroke seeing Harmony as the receptionist. God, why hadn’t I killed her when I had the chance.

“Buffy! Oh, God don’t kill me. I’m so sorry about that time my Blondie Bear and I had sex on the copier, I mean we didn’t finish, but he’s sooo yummny and….I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that sex part, but…”
“Just shut up Harmony and where is he!?” He slept with someone else. Oh, god he slept with someone else. Anya on the table, Harmony on the copier. He doesn’t love me, never loved me. NO, he does, just stupid vampire mentality. Want, take, have…I’m the one he loves.

Harmony finally pointed the way to Angel’s office, neglecting to tell Buffy that he was in the middle of a meeting with Wesley, Fred, Gunn, Lorne, and Angel. Everyone stopped speaking the second she walked into the room. Oh, God there he is. He’s here, oh God he’s here…I. Buffy flung herself into his arms and began sobbing into his coat, not noticing that his arms weren’t around her. Not noticing that he was making no move toward her at all, barely allowing her to clutch at him. He feels so good, just like I remember, God I missed him, I’ll be so good for him, never hurt him again. I swear God, I’ll never hurt him again, just let me keep him; let me have just this one thing. Please. I, God he’s really here.

“Spike?” When she finally noticed that he was not as happy to see her as she was to see him. “What’s wrong?...aren’t you happy to see….?”

“Happy to see you! Happy to see the woman who’s made my life bloody miserable for the last 6 fucking years. I highly doubt that pet.

“What?” Buffy said, unsure exactly if she was still imaging her worst nightmares, or if this was really happening. “Spike, please, I-I know I was wrong, I’m-I’m sorry, I want to make it up to you, be who you needed me to be all along. I’m ready…I-I love you.

“I-I love you. Is that how you got good ole brood boy and whitebread to confess their undying love to you? With that bloody awful stuttering.”

“Spike?” God this couldn’t be happening. “Getting your just rewards” kept echoing in her mind.

“I don’t want you here Slayer, I’ve moved on and it’d be best if you did to.”
“But…”
“No buts Slayer. You and me, we were a bloody perversion to the entire bleeding galaxy. Vamps and Slayers aren’t meant to mix. That’s why your first honey left and that’s why I’m putting an end to this pathetic display. I’ve followed you around long enough and now I’m through with this…oh, how did you put it once luv…oh yeah, this ‘freak show.’ Goodbye.”

With that, Spiked walked out of the office and Buffy collapsed. No, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOO. Then she was being held down by Angel. “Shh sweetheart, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Buffy later woke up in another room with the shades drawn and not having a clue as to where she was. Then she saw Angel.

“Why doesn’t he want me?”
“Buffy I…”
“Why did you leave me? Is it the same reason why he left, Riley left? What’s wrong with me?” Not enough, never enough.
“He was supposed to love me you know. Not the way that you loved me, just as the Slayer; not the way Riley loved me, just as the girl; but all of me…and now he doesn’t want any of me.
“Buffy I…”
“He left, he wasn’t so supposed to ever…”
“What happened to your hand Buffy?”
“What? Oh, burned, in the hellmouth. Willow said she could fix it, but then there really wouldn’t be anything left. Not him, not his love, not even his memory.”
“Wait, you got that from Spike? Why would you keep it?”
“Because I love him and he didn’t believe me, doesn’t even love me.” Never enough.
“Buff you don’t know what you’re saying, you don’t love…” *Slap*
“Don’t ever say that again Angel. I’ll love him until I die.” I’ve got to find him, make him understand.” With that Buffy got off the bed and went to find Spike. She looked down every corridor, trying to use her senses to find the vampire. Finally, she found him in the lab talking with the pretty, brown haired girl from the meeting.

“Spike, you’re hard to find in this place. I thought that maybe we could….”
“Oh bollocks! What the hell are you doing here? Sod off!” Buffy moved closer to him, putting her hand over his chest where she’d seen the medallion slowly burn into him. “I love you, Spike, please, I’m not stuttering and I’m not running away this time. Give me one more chance. Please?” Buffy said with a confidence that she did not feel. She thought that perhaps, her normal bravado would goad him into at least talking to her, but she was wrong.

“No.”
“But.”
“It’s not worth it.”
“You’re saying that I’m not worth the effort of a relationship? How can he say that to me?
“No.”
Oh God. “So, you’re saying that, th-that I’m not worth it?” Please don’t say yes, not again, can’t live through it again.
“You said it, not me goldilocks.”
Not you too Spike; you were supposed to be the one here for me.
“But…”
“Go back to your happy little life in Rome, with your snuggly Immortal and get the bloody hell out of this town.” As Spike turned to get away, Buffy thought over what he said. Oh! “Spike, wait. Are you jealous of the Immortal? Nothing happened, I swear, he just knew stories of you so I listened. It didn’t mean anything.”
“Hmmm, now that sounds familiar, Slayer. Not meaning anything. Kinda like our time together. How’s that now, oh yeah, just convenient. Well guess what luv, you were convenient too. Should have seen the faces on the demons down at Willy’s when I told them how easy it was for me to get the Slayer to spread her pretty little thighs for me. God what a riot!”
“I don’t believe you!” He loved, no loves, me more than this, he’s just jealous.
“Well believe it pet. Sure, I might have been your little lap dog back in SunnyD, but guess what? We aren’t in that bloody place anymore. I’m as free of you as the planet’s free of that waste of space. Now piss off!”
“Spike!”
“Get on with it Slayer, I’m tired at looking at your face, especially when it’s all streaked with those pathetic tears.”

“Miss?...Miss?”
“Oh, yes, I’m sorry, just daydreaming.” Buffy was brought out of her thoughts by the appearance of the waitress with the check.
“Thank you” Buffy mumbled. Well, I guess its back to work, then home to Joe.




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She woke up gasping for breath, unsure of where she exactly was. Her dream had seemed so real.

“Buffy? Dear are you alright?” Joe said reaching out for his wife.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Damn, what was that about?
“Are you sure, you seemed rather startled. Would like me to get you some warm milk?
“No, don’t worry about it, lets just go back to sleep. Something about blood…thick and red.

It was times like these, when she could pretend that it was Spike who held her at night. She knew that it was wrong. Pining away for a man that in no way wanted her while she had one that truly did love her. But even late at night when there was a strong pair of arms around her, she could tell that they were not the arms that she wanted, or belonged in. Sometimes she wondered how she’d gotten here, in this life.

“Buffy, I’d like to introduce you to Joe Reed; he’s a solicitor who’s been helping me with my business” said Giles. Business, yeah right. You mean putting the Council of Want all their Slayers dead back in business
“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Reed” Buffy stated with a false sincerity. Just let me go back to sleep, I can pretend that Spike loves me there
“Please, call me Joe. I feel as though I already know you. Mr. Giles has told me so much.”
“Ok, Joe. Hey, you’re not British, what’s up with that. I thought Giles only knew British people?”
“Oh, no Ms. Summers” he said with a laugh and a smile “I’m from America, Connecticut actually.
“Oh”
“I’ve been studying law here as a way for me to have a better understanding of the European dynamic. I was hoping to try international law.” My God, could he be anymore annoying?
“Buffy, I was hoping that you would be able to take Mr. Reed around the premises to let him get a feel for the land” Giles interrupted kindly. He wouldn’t!
“Giles may I speak with you for a moment in private?” Buffy led Giles to another room and closed the door with a loud thump.
“You are not setting me up with him! God can’t you just let me…”
“Spike didn’t want you Buffy. It’s obvious that whatever advantage he had in Sunnydale by pretending to love you is no longer relevant.”
“Giles!”
“Now, Buffy I realize that you believe that you had some other feelings for Spike, but really, is it necessary to carry on like this? You’re acting like a child. Please, show Mr. Reed around and…and if you happen to like the man then…”
“Don’t finish that sentence.” Buffy stormed out of the room, grabbed Joe by the arm and ‘showed’ him around the new council grounds.

She didn’t know why she’d agreed to go to dinner with him. She wasn’t even sure if she liked him, but there was something kind in his eyes, when she told him of Spike’s rejection. He didn’t seem like he wanted to rush anything, or even have anything at all. So they went out on a date and another and another. Buffy eventually grew to like his opinion, like how they could sit in silence. Spike and she could never do that – they were always fighting in some form or another.

With prompting from Dawn and the others, maybe it was even temporary insanity on her part; she let their relationship turn serious. Joe never seemed to mind that he could only have half of her heart, if that. He seemed completely enamored. After that debacle with Spike in L.A., she needed someone to see her that way. Perhaps his attraction was the only thing that kept her from dying after Spike’s betrayal.

Joe didn’t remind her of Spike in any single way. Which was good. Although when he asked her to marry him she had to say yes. Not because she wanted to, but because she couldn’t be left by another man. Spike’s personality was a very distinctive one, covering half the spectrum of characteristics and Joe was the complete opposite. If he left her, it meant that no man of any kind would want her. So she said yes.

Her reasoning made her lean towards the decision of marrying Joe, but it was Willow, Xander, and Giles that really made her accept. They kept telling her that since she wasn’t the only slayer, she could finally have that normal life that she wanted long ago along with the normal husband that every girl dreamed of. Not this girl.

There was a part of her that always believed she’d failed each and every one of them. She’s wasn’t the perfect slayer/daughter that Giles wanted and she let Jenny die, she let Willow go ballistic with magic, and she lost Xander’s eye. Buffy thought that maybe if she married him, she’d make some of that up. Giles and Xander would be happy she stopped sleeping with the dead and Willow…well Willow must have hated it as well. She never trusted Spike anyway.

So, it was time for Buffy to grow up, be cookies, and have someone else’s wedding dream.

Bzzzzzzzzzzt, Bzzzzzzzzzzt Great another day of work. I hate that alarm, but Joe freaks out when I break them









Sometimes he wondered why he’d done it - said those things to her. It was cruel and just wasn’t the way that a man should speak to a woman, but he was trying to save her life and she had just gotten in the way. Stupid bint, see if I help her the next time I see her pimp beating the living daylights out of her. Angel and Spike had gone out on patrol last night and only really ended up chasing away stupid humans doing stupid human things.

After the way things went down with the Senior Partners, seeing as Spike and Angel were the only ones to survive, the two of them had relocated to San Francisco and resurrected Angel Investigations. Although it was now called WCW Investigations (Wesley, Charles, and Fred) to remember the ones that they’d lost in the fight.

Surprisingly, Angel and Spike had reconciled their relationship and the only barbs that passed between them were in good jest. It had been healing for Angel to have the love of his childe again and for Spike to finally know the love of his grandsire. If asked, both of them would say that it was the battle with the Black Thorn that did the trick, or rather the recovery. Angel had lost his left arm, fighting that dragon, and had depended on Spike until he’d healed and learned how to adjust to life with just one arm.

The fact that they were the only ones left and they’d survived gave them the push they needed to finally let things rest. Both were tired of their animosity and were a family for the first time in forever.

“Spike!”
“What is it now Peaches?”
“Just get in here.”
“Jeez pops, no need to get you knickers in a… Who the bloody hell is that?”
“Name’s Whistler kid.”
“Wait just a sodden minute; I’m not a bloody kid.”
“Whatever, look I’m here for a reason.”
“And what reason might that be? Every time you’re around, something invariable bad happens.” Angel said in disgust. How he hated that demon.
“Something big is going down. Enough for the powers to pull me out of retirement. I was happily enjoying the beaches of Tahiti, the babes over there. Damn!” Whistler used his hands to make a very curvaceous woman in the air.
“Whistler!” Angel said impatiently.
“What, oh. Sorry man, got lost in thoughts of that brunette. Anyway, ever heard of the Scrolls of Siyamak?”
“No, should I have?” Angel replied. You know it would almost be worth it to go all evil, just so the powers wouldn’t send this idiot to me
“You haven’t, well look it up and fast. Others…”
“Let me guess, a bleeding apocalypse.”
“No pal. Worst than that. The apocalypse. The one that’s gonna end it all. Well, I got a girl calling my name, toodles. Oh, I almost forgot. Once you figure out what’s going on, you’ll need the name Reed. Bye.” And Whistler disappeared.

“Thank God that blighter left, he was getting on my nerves. So what do we do now?”
“Find the scrolls.”

Well that had been easier said than done. Angel had to call in some favors and it had taken a few weeks, but they finally got them. They were written in Persian and were a bitch to translate. They were finally translated in a much slower pace than Giles or Wesley would have done, too bad they were both dead. Giles having been too old to still accompany new slayers out on patrols.

“So what does it say?” Spike asked impatiently.
“Nothing good…

the true chosen of light
though many may be named in spite
and one of two who should not fight
called both a childe of night
but eagerly side with the path of the right
brought together for true love’s right
to battle the original at night
and finally end the fight
for it reemerged in spite
of the barrier born of dark and light

“How’s that” Spike questioned. “I get the part about something bad coming, but what the rest of that mumbo jumbo?”
“Buffy.”
“What? How do you get that? I didn’t get that.” He said nervously. That name hadn’t been spoken between them in 20 years. Not since that day in Wolfram & Hart…

“You shouldn’t have said those things to her Spike.” Fred said in a voice that was much sterner than her normal timid voice.
“I know, I know, but I had to let her go. She told me once it was killing her to be with me. So I figure its best if it’s me dying not being with her than have her suffer being with me.”

“Earth to Spike. Are you with me here?” Can’t hurt the girl.
“What? Yeah, Buffy…need Buffy.” Always
“What are we going to do, just hop on a private jet that we no longer have and show up at her door? Cuz ya’ know that’ll go over well. We don’t even know where she’s at.”
“I do.”
“WHAT? How?”
“When Giles died. In his will he left an envelop addressed to me, it was just a listing of his contacts in case we needed them. That’s how I found the scrolls. Anyway, Buffy’s in Maine.”
“Maine, huh, never thought that chit would leave Rome.” Or that wanker the Immortal.

“Wait though, what about what’s his name saying we need to know the name Reed?” Spike had a bad feeling about this. Even though Angel and Spike hadn’t talked about Buffy in two decades, didn’t mean he didn’t have nightmares about that day he told her to leave. What if she really moved on? Of course she would, she didn’t love him. “You don’t think she got hitched do you?”
“Why not, we both made it clear to her that she wasn’t going to have happily ever after with us.”

Angel went over to the computer and searched for a Buffy Reed on the telephone directory.









Buffy and Joe were just about to turn in when the phone rang. Joe picked it up and frowned when an unfamiliar male voice asked for his wife. He handed the phone over.

“It’s for you dear.”
“Hello?”
“Hello Buffy.”
“Angel?” and the phone slipped from her grasp.








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Everyone was there. They all sat looking at her, assembled in her overstuffed living room, looking at her just like in the old days. Like she was the general. Didn’t they understand that this was Angel’s show? She was just one of the pawns of the ridiculous prophecy. No wonder she’d not had any real contact with them for so many years. For along time she’d thought that she’d stayed away because of how much they loved her normal life and how much she didn’t. But she discovered that a larger reason was for the way that they always looked at her. She realized that she should probably see it as a complement. That her ‘friends’ trusted her with their lives like this, but she wasn’t THE slayer anymore, not the one in charge. She didn’t have to have all the answers, save everyone’s life, and therein was the problem. They wanted her to lead them, so she had, for so many years and slowly pulled away from all of them in order to protect herself. Then they wanted her to have the normal life, which she did. Now they seemed to want general Buffy again, and she couldn’t take another switch.

They hadn’t begun the research yet, even though they had all the books. They were still waiting for the two vampires. Buffy didn’t know what to think of seeing them after all of these years. Speaking with Angel on the phone had been difficult. Not because of any long-lost feelings for him, but because he reminded her of Spike and things that she couldn’t have. While waiting for sundown, Buffy slowly looked around the room and the people that were no longer a part of her life, but some how felt necessary in this one last battle, almost as if this would finally close the last chapter of her life with them.

Xander was there, happily oblivious to the tension in the room. He had been living in California, still doing construction. From what he’d told Buffy, he was now heading up construction teams instead of being the one to build the stuff. However, he seemed to miss it so usually ended up helping the rest of the crew when he could. Xander never did get married. He was still in love with Anya, never really finding peace with her death. He looked pretty much the same way he did at the closing of the Hellmouth, a little older yes, but keeping up with the construction kept him fit.

Willow had grown out her long red hair and had matured in ways that Buffy couldn’t even fathom. Gone was the girlish person she’d known in high school as well as the broken woman who’d lost the love of her life and rebounded with Kennedy. Before Buffy had begun her relationship with the Immortal, Willow had broken up with Kennedy. Something about her wanting Willow to stop “helping the helpless.” Kenney was a slayer and could protect them both – Willow was tired of her whining anyway. A few years later, Willow met a shy, quiet girl in the Coven at Devon and eventually fell in love. They’d been in a deeply committed relationship since then, living with the coven. Willow finally had control over her magic and was no longer scared of going to the ‘bad place.’

Dawn was also there, but she’d been to her sister’s house before, unlike the others. Dawn and Buffy usually got together on Christmas and tried to recreate the atmosphere that their mother had perfected. Dawn had followed in Giles’s shoes and was now head of the Watcher’s Council. She’d had a passion for the occult ever since researching the First and trying to find out more about her key status. The only downfall was that being the head of the Council kept her very busy, and she was married to it rather than a guy.

Then, there was Joe - looking so very out of place with the rest of Buffy’s friends. He didn’t know them and Buffy had a sneaking suspicion that he hadn’t really believed her stories about the undead and the like. So now there were all of these people in his home talking about impending doom. She really ought to speak with him, but…

*Ding dong* Oh, God they’re here Buffy stood up to answer the door, slightly checking her hair in the mirror. She wasn’t really sure if she wanted to look good because she wanted him jealous, or because….*Ding dong* Impatient as ever. She reached down to the doorknob and answered it.

Angel and Spike were both standing on the welcome mat, trying desperately to look calm and collected, but their hellos both came out a jumbled mess. Buffy’s heart was beating a mile a minute and she was sure that they could hear every single beat.

“Angel. Spike. Come in.” Both vampires came in at the same time, making a very comical Three Stooges impression. If Buffy hadn’t been so nervous, she’d probably have laughed. Angel was the first one to get himself righted and said…
“Buffy, my God, you-you haven’t aged a bit. How is that possible?”
“Do you want the short version or the long version?” Seeing Angel’s look, she huffed and replied “Willow’s resurrection spell kinda went kablooey with the motorcycle brigade in town. The spell was supposed to resurrect me to normal life; instead it just resurrected me to life. I can’t die or age, it would seem. The dying thing might be a lie, I mean I haven’t tested it out or anything, but if no one tries to kill me I should stay alive for a very, very long time.”
“Why do you think that you can’t die then” Spike cautiously asked, not really wanting to directly speak to her, it would hurt too much, but wanting to know the answer.
“In the hellmouth, one of the uber vamps ran me through with a sword and it was kind of the mortal wound type and it didn’t really affect me, other than, well…hurting.” He spoke to me! No, bad brain. It’s been too many years, daydreaming about him is one thing, blushing in front of him is another. But he looks so good.
“Right then” She can’t die, poor luv, can’t ever go back to her place in Heaven. She’d going to need someone to take care of her. You stupid nit, she’ll never let you, not after the things you said.
“Yeah, well I guess the short version was the long version, whatever. The gang’s all here, why don’t we get started with the research” Buffy said, longing to get away from the two of them.

“Angel, Spike this is my husband Joe Reed, honey this is Angel and that’s Spike” Buffy introduced. She wondered if Joe would say anything to her or to Spike about his treatment of her, he did know the whole sorted story. Well, except the sweaty parts, or rather the knocking down the building kind of sweaty…
“Dear did you hear me?”
“I’m sorry Joe did you say something?”
“I asked if you wanted to me to assist the rest of you in anything. I can research for demons as you call them.”
“Um…sure, I guess. I’m a little rusty at this, so Angel, why don’t you just take it from the top. You know, go over what we need to know, do, that sort of thing.” Buffy sat down and left the floor to Angel.

“Well, basically” Angel stepped into the middle of the room “Whistler came to me and told me to look up the Scrolls of Siyamak in order to learn about the apocalypse to end all apocalypses. He…”
“What is it Joe?”
“Are you actually talking about apocalypses? I realize that I’m new here but how can there be more than one? And who is this Whistler?” Joe asked, wondering how long it was going to be before he could get these insane people out of his house.
“Joe, I know that it’s complicated…” Angel started but was interrupted by Buffy.
“Joe, I’ll explain it later ok? Time’s kinda an issue and we need to hear what Angel has to say.” Joe nodded his head, but still looked baffled.

“So, like I was saying, Whistler told me about the scrolls and then left. I really hate that guy; anyway Spike and I found the scrolls from an old contact of Giles’s and translated the prophecy. But that’s all we’ve be able to do so far. We don’t know what it means, so I guess we should start there.”
“Ok” Buffy said “We could break up parts of the prophecy and decipher our sections and then have one group looking up everything we can find on this sign hammock guy…”
“Siyamak, luv.” Spike smirked. Same old Buffy.
“Whatever…does that sound like a good plan?” I’m not going to be able to concentrate with him here, not that I ever concentrated on research.
“Sounds good to me” Xander and Willow both said.

“Ok, so Angel, Spike, and Dawn why don’t you guys look through the books about the Siy…Si…the sign guy since you’re probably tired of looking at the scrolls and the rest of us will pair up and split the prophecy in half. Will and Xand and then Joe and me. Sound good?” Ok, so maybe Buffy did fall into the leader roll, but didn’t mean she had to like it.
“Angel could you recite the prophecy in its entirety, so we get the feel for it? Then away we go.”
“Sure. The prophecy says…

the true chosen of light
though many may be named in spite
and one of two who should not fight
called both a childe of night
but eagerly side with the path of the right
brought together for true love’s right
to battle the original at night
and finally end the fight
for it reemerged in spite
of the barrier born of dark and light

“Joe and I can take the first half and Will and Xand the second, k?” Mumbled agreement followed her statement.


It was about 5 am the next morning and the reassembled Scooby gang was still hard at work when a brick went flying through the front window. Buffy stood up to get it, when she noticed a large group of vampires standing outside her house.

“Uh, guys, I think we must be onto something.”
“Why’s that Buffster….oh.” Xander said as he came up behind Buffy to see that increasingly large group of vamps. Spike and Angel followed and decided to go outside in attempt to capture one of them and get them to talk. They figured that they wouldn’t have to fight them all off since the sun would be rising soon. Everyone grabbed a stake, except Joe, and began fighting back.

Once the fighting was over, they walked back into the house to find Joe sitting numbly on the couch wearing an odd expression. Buffy walked over to him.
“Joe, are you okay?”
“What were those things?”
“Vampires”
“Vampires are real? I thought that you were just a little eccentric, or just telling tall tales to pass the time. Does that mean that you were really that slasher, or whatever you called it?”
“Slayer and yes. Why would any of us spend all of this time reading these books and deciphering the prophecy if we just doing it for fun?” Buffy asked somewhat angry. Does he think I’m an idiot. This is so very embarrassing.
“Look, Joe” Spike spit his name out with disgust “we’ve got more important things to talk about than the Slayer’s past. Those gits wouldn’t tell us a thing, but the very fact that those blighters were out there and so close to sunrise means that we’re getting to something. So I suggest we bloody well get on with it and stop standing around.”
“Spike’s right hun, we need to get back to work.” Buffy said Did he just stand up for me?
“So what do we got?”
“Well, Buffy, you had the front part of the prophecy.” Angel pointed out.
“Oh, right. Well…I guess we’ll start.”
“Dear, if it’s quite alright, I think I’m going to turn in?”
“Sure” Slightly annoyed, Buffy turned back to address the rest of the gang.

“Well, either I’ve gotten smarter over the years, or this prophecy wasn’t as “shot in the dark” as the others. Well, the first line…the true chose of light…is obviously me, since the slayer line was supposed to run through me. The second just tells me the same information again, talking about all the potentials that we made into slayers.”
“The next part was a little trickier, but then looking at the fourth line, I figured that either Angel or Spike are supposed to be with me in this, both being vamps, fighting the good fight rather than the evil side. And that’s all I’ve got…Willow?”
“Right, our half…”
“Willow” “Red” Buffy and Spike both started, but Buffy continued. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, now that you’ve translated your part it seems to me like whichever vamp is supposed to be with you in this is your…um…well…uh…”
“Just spit it out Red.”
“True love.”
“What!” Everyone in the room said.
“Don’t shoot the messenger” Willow practically yelled “the line says ‘brought together for true love’s right.’ Seeing she’d get no response for this she continued.
“Apparently you guys, whichever two of you, have to fight the First.”
“No way, we defeated the First” Buffy yelled.
“Defeated, yes, killed…not so much” Willow replied.
“I bloody well did to kill it, died in the process remember there Red?” Spike winced; he probably shouldn’t talk about that whole dying part in front of Buffy. Stupid ponce, just remind the girl of what an ass you were.
“Ok, ok, but whatever this prophecy is well, prophesizing, the First is in it and it is going to be up to Buffy and Angel or Spike to stop it.”
“So, Buff, who’s it going to be? Dead boy or Dead boy jr.?”
“Xander you are so not amusing right now.” God, I have to embarrass myself again by telling Spike he’s my true love. He’s going to think I’m so pathetic, loving him after 20 years. Especially since he hasn’t looked at me once, doesn’t even care.

Everyone was looking at Buffy and making her terribly uncomfortable… “So, guys, what did you find out about this demon guy?” Buffy asked trying to take the focus off of her.
“Right now, all we have is information on the demon, nothing that really tells us what he has planned. It obviously has to be big, given the fact that Whistler guy came to Angel and everything” Dawn piped up.
“Oh and Buffy? Not to sound all watcher-ish, but I think that you need to do some serious training with Angel or Spike. You only got two vamps.”
“I know…I need work, I haven’t patrolled in 15 years. But it did feel good tonight, like I was doing something right. It’s been awhile.” Crap, I shouldn’t have said that. Spike’s going to think that I don’t have a perfect normal life.
“Well, I’m going to go to bed. Um, guys, can we start training later today?”
“Sure” they both said. As Buffy turned to walk upstairs, Angel stopped her with one sentence.
“Buffy, you and I are going to have to find out what we need to do in order to stop the ritual. So we can’t spend all day training while the others research.”
“What do you mean ‘what we need to do to stop the ritual?’”
“Well, your true love…” Angel stated with confidence.
“Angel, you aren’t my true love” with that, Buffy went up the stairs, leaving shock in her wake.



Here’s another chapter for you guys. Enjoy! Thanks for all of the reviews. Hopefully some of the questions that you guys had were answered. Hope to hear from you soon.  Inara

Buffy was sitting at her kitchen counter the following morning, staring at the cloudy day, thinking that it perfectly mirrored her life. The night before, they’d been attacked again. Not even 24 hours after those stupid vampires. This time it had been fyarl demons. Lots of them, and they didn’t need an invite. The living room was in shambles. They had a hell of a time trying to find a way to block the sun the following morning. Considering it hadn’t gone to well, it was fortunate the day was overcast; they’d have to go to the hardware store later. Guess it was a good thing that Xander had gone in on this mission.

The fyarls had hit hard and strong, of course the fact that they were such a stupid breed meant that they had to fight each and every one of them; they didn’t understand the value of retreat. Of course, this had more repercussions than anyone had foreseen, especially Buffy.





Spike was in his room/closet thing that he was sharing with Peaches. Buffy didn’t really have a lot of vampire-friendly places in her home, so the two of them had been forced into the little room underneath the stairs. It was fine enough for one, but two – it was tight, not to mention he had to share the place with Angel.

He didn’t sleep very well. Aside from the large, hulking mass of Angel who snored (didn’t breathe, yeah right), he’d been thinking of Buffy’s parting words all night. “Angel you aren’t my true love.” According to the prophecy that must mean that it was him, right? Spike never in a million years would have thought that Buffy believed that he was her true love. They’d fucked sure; he’d loved her, still did if anyone asked, but in no way was he her true love. He had to convince Buffy that the fate of the world rested on this. She couldn’t push this idea in order to make up for the fact she’d treated him like shit in Sunnyhell, by picking him for whatever sodden thing the powers had in mind. Everyone knew that Angel was the one the bint really loved.

Even if she did have some lingering fondness, she loved Joe now. She married him, must have moved on. But still, girls don’t forget their first love; everyone is compared to them, even if he is a git. That’s why Spike couldn’t be the one the prophecy spoke of.

He should probably go and try to talk some sense into her. As Spike got up to leave, he cast a disgusted look at the poof, and walked down the hall. They might have made up, but that didn’t mean that the topic of Buffy was ever going to be a thing of the past for them.




Buffy felt him as soon as he walked into the room. She’d always known when he was around, even before they had any sort of relationship. Ever since that first night at the Bronze. She could feel him unlike any foe she’d ever faced, unlike Angel, unlike anyone. He was in her gut, in her throat; she’d been drowning in him before she’d even known him.

“He left” Buffy stated.
“Wot?” That was a bloody confusing way of starting a conversation.
“Joe, he left this morning. He said he couldn’t deal with the demons.”
“Left - as in he went to go clear his head, or left…”
“Left as in his side of the closet is empty and he’ll have his people call my people kind of way.”
“Oh, luv, I’m so sorry…” He left, he left! No, I shouldn’t be happy about someone she loves leaving her.
“Don’t. I understand why he left; if I’d been in his shoes I probably would have done the same thing….”






“Dear I have something that I need to say to you” Joe woke Buffy up.
“Joe, can’t we just talk in the morning, or well later in the morning?”
“No, there’s nothing to discuss, I just needed to tell you that I’m leaving.”
“What? Joe what are you…?”
“Dear, I’m sorry; I can’t live in a world where demons exist. I always thought that they were just stories that you told. Always thought that you should write them down, you’d make a small fortune, all that creativity. But now, I understand that they are real and I can’t accept that. Even though I know that they exist, I plan on forgetting about them. It’s just more than I can bear. I’m so very sorry, but I don’t want to live in a world where they are.”
“Joe…”
“It’s not just the demons Buffy, it’s me. I saw the joy on your face as you ki-killed those things. During those two battles, I saw you light up. You were the happiest I’ve ever seen you in the last 17 years. I love you so much and I thought that we had a wonderful life together, but I’ve never made you that happy.”
“Joe, you have to realize that…”
“No Buffy, you do. I’m not meant for this. I like to help people, but legally, not through brute force. The way you are, they way that you interact with these people, is something that I can’t touch. There’s always been a part of you that I couldn’t reach, a space in your heart that I knew, before we ever got married, that I couldn’t have. It belonged to that man out there and I understood it. You gave me so much, loved me so much, maybe not eternally and maybe not even truly, but you did. I can’t even begin to describe what that means to me. I’m a selfish man, dear. Maybe you’ve never seen it, but I am. But no amount of selfishness will erase the fact that you’ve been happier these last few days than our entire life combined.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Buffy, I am in no way blaming you, it isn’t your fault. I just can’t be where these demons are and well, never mind…I’m going and I love you.”
“Joe, wait – what else were you going to say? You have to tell me everything. You’re leaving me, I deserve to know that much” Buffy said slightly panicked. Another person leaving. Joe will be gone, and there isn’t a Spike to run to.
“You’re not ageing Buffy. I always just thought that I was lucky, having a wife that aged so beautifully, but I heard what you said to Spike and Angel, the fact that you can’t die. You’re immortal. I don’t think that I would be able to deal with that when I’m old and gray, especially when there’s a man out there who is just as immortal as you, and has your truly undying affection. I have to go.”
“Joe…” she started, but was silenced with one last kiss.






“Buffy, luv, you in there?”
“Sorry Spike, just thinking.” Shaking her head slightly, she stood up and asked, “Are the other’s awake, we need to get a move on this. We’ve got the prophecy, but we don’t know what’s what. We don’t even know where this is supposed to be going down, let alone how to stop it, not to mention that fact we don’t even really know what we’re stopping.”
“Buffy, do you need…”
“I need to focus Spike; figure out whatever it is that you and I are supposed to do to stop whatever it is that we’re…”
“Slayer, that’s something that I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What?” Please don’t let him rub my face in it. Yes, the Slayer's still in love with a vampire.
“Well, it’s just that…”
“Spit it out Spike!” Losing my temper here.
“You don’t love me!”
“WHAT!?”
“You and I are not the ones that are going to be stopping this ritual pet. It’s you and Captain Forehead.”
“I…I…Spike. It’s supposed to me who decides who my true love is. I’m obviously the only one that knows. It’s you and we have work to do.” He still doesn’t believe me. He didn’t believe me down in the Hellmouth, didn’t believe me at Wolfram & Hart, and doesn’t believe it now. He was supposed to know me so well. Be able to read me like a book, which was always what was so aggravating about him…but he still doesn’t believe me. I’d try to convince him, but he made it perfectly clear all those years ago what he thinks of me. I’m not laying my heart open again for him to tear apart.
“Buffy the fate of the world rests on this. Whatever you’re trying to prove isn’t…”
“I’m not trying to prove anything lunk head. It’s the truth, plain and simple. Following your plan of Angel and me, well that’s going to get the world very much blown up. You’re in my house, so you’re going to be following my rules. So get over yourself and start researching.” God, he’s so annoying! Buffy left in a swirl of long blonde hair.

Maybe she does…no, she couldn’t have loved me- not like that. And even if she did…which she didn’t…she’s in love with Joe (bastard). Any chance that I had was gone. Me and my big mouth, always spouting off, I thought I was doing the right thing…I guess I’d better round up the poof and get him to help me on this one, convince her he’s the one to do the mojo with.






They’d been researching for days, everyone was exhausted. Buffy even more so. She’d spent the time divided between training/patrol to get back in shape (which she’d done very well if asked), researching the demon and impending doom, grieving over the loss of Joe, and trying to fend off two vampires who didn’t believe in her choice of champion. God was she thankful when they’d finally pieced everything together. The faster that they solved this, the fast she could get them out of her house. She couldn’t handle the constant denials on Spike’s part or Angel’s insistence that he still knew what was best, namely that he should do the ritual with her.

This final fight would be the last thing for her. She couldn’t deal anymore. She was going to sell everything, travel the world, and try to find a cure for her immortality. She was looking for death, just a promise that she could one day have it. She knew that she couldn’t live forever with Spike being somewhere she wasn’t.

They’d lucked out when another section of the prophecy had been found. Apparently, Angel had been looking through the scrolls while getting ready one morning, and having dropped hair gel on the pages, stuck them together. The prophecy turned out to be the key to stopping Siyamak’s ritual.

Dawn’s sources at the Council finally came through. Unfortunately for them there were at least another fifty gateways to hell and anyone of them cold be used to start Siyamak’s apocalypse. Willow’s research indicated that thousands of years ago, when the world had yet to be populated by people, demons, pure demons, not the ones seen today, roamed the earth and the First was lord over all of them. Well Siyamak “one with dark eyes” was one of the lowest and filthiest creatures. He wasn’t trusted among the other demons of his kind or respected among any of the other ruling clans. So, the only thing that was important to him was attaining power. Massive amounts of it.

At the end of the Wiccan wars, when all the Old Ones were put to rest in the Deeper Well, Siyamak managed to escape. He had been badly wounded and in no way wielded the power he had once known. So he began thinking up plans to gain what he’d lost. Siyamak had waited thousands of years until finally he had his chance.

Buffy’s resurrection after her death at the Master’s hands (or fangs depending on the way that you looked at it) first rocked the core of the universe, but the scales finally tipped after she jumped off of Glory’s tower and dug her way out of the grave. The universe saw it as an affront to the natural order of things, first two such warriors existing at the same time and then a warrior of light being forced to dig her way out of the earth like a common demon. The First was able to use this to his advantage and make its presence known in this world, and while everyone thought that his focus had been the slayers he also sought out an old worshiper.

The First had been disgusted to find that all of his demons had been locked away by man and wanted to release his subjects. So it found Siyamak who had made no progress in finding truer power than that of a low-grade wizard. The First and Siyamak made a deal; if the First didn’t beat the slayers (which it was sure that it would, it in no way wanted this pathetic demon to have power) then Siyamak was to begin his ritual at the proper time which would ensure not only that the First would be in this plane and corporeal, but also seal a place for himself in the new order. The First would bring all demons forth and reign as though he’d never left.

“Well, we can’t let that happen” Buffy said dryly. What do we need to do? What does the prophecy say?” Angel began

“should true love unite
and blood flow, thick and red
and made by no blade alone
then the mouths shall close
the balance be restored
for all to see
there shall be no more"

“Ok, so…oh my God, I dreamt about this” Buffy exclaimed.
“Dreamt about what?” Willow asked, her eyes showing her worry.
“I don’t remember much, Joe woke me up before I saw everything” Don’t think of him. “But I remember something about blood, thick and red.”
“Well, Red and I figured out the prophecy, luv.”
“What is it?”
“Well, you and Angel…”
“YOU and me you mean?” Buffy said wearily. I’m so tired of this argument.
“Riiight. Well, you and I have to stand in one of Red’s mojo circles and, uh, I have to um, well, bite you, hard enough for blood to flow ‘thick and red.’ Once I’ve dran…ingested quite a bit of your blood then you have to slice my wrist with a blade. Our mixed blood has to then hit the circle and the hellmouths close permanently. Then…”
“Wait, hold up. What do you mean they close? Why the hell are they open?”

“That’s part of Siyamak’s ritual Buff” Xander interrupted “he’s got to open them all in order to give the First a chance to get here and be all corporeal.”
“So, shouldn’t we not let that happen? ‘Cuz, does anyone remember the last time one of these things were open? Let alone all of them?” Buffy retorted. Why me?
“That’s just it Buffy” Dawn came into the conversation “in order to close everything they have to open them first. That’s why timing is so critical.”
“Oh great” Buffy breathed out. This so needs to be over.

Buffy sat thinking all of these things out and trying desperately to ignore the looks the two vampires were giving her – both trying to point out Angel as the one she should go in with. Wait a second…

“Wait, ‘balance will be restored.’ Does that mean what I think it does? I’m the one that screwed up the balance, am I not going to be the slayer anymore, or well one of?”
“That is one side effect of this. Your presence allowed the First to enter this plane, or rather the presence of more than on slayer. So once this thing goes down, then you’ll be the only slayer, or someone else will be. The chosen line will once again run as it was supposed.” Dawn stated, hoping to not cause her sister too much pain. Even though Buffy would be glad to be done with the whole messy business, she didn’t want it to be such a terrible shock. It was officially the younger Summer’s job to take care of demons.

“Wow, guys, that’s certainly a shocker. I’ll have to deal with that later. Okay. One last question. Do we know where to go? There are lots of hellmouths to choose from.”
“Cleveland, the coven felt magical forces growing there and besides it’s the easiest for Siyamak to set up camp. No mountains to deal with like the other hellmouths, so it’ll be good for us too.” Willow supplied.
“Ok, I guess we’re going to Cleveland.







I promise there will be Spuffy soon! Thanks for all of your support. I appreciate all of the reviews, I love knowing what you guys think and all of your questions about where the story is leading. - Inara

Well, they’d won. She couldn’t believe it – they’d stopped the First, Siyamak, and closed all the hellmouths of the world. The world, who knew it was even possible? However, the more remarkable thing was that she was just a girl. That’s right, no more being the slayer for her or any of the girls really, except Vi. She’s the one that the chosen line now runs through. Even though the powers finally got something right they still had another shocker for the day, the girls got to keep their powers, or at least their strength, not the ‘spidey sense.’ Apparently the powers realized that they couldn’t just go back to the lives that they had before, not with everything that they now know exists. So now they had the power, but not the sacred duty. Sure they’d still help out when need be, but it was Vi’s job to keep the powers of darkness at bay. Of course, their victory had made it a lot easier for her.

Despite the change in her title, Buffy was still immortal and still very much planning to travel the world and find a cure for that. As she tossed a shirt into the suit case she caught sight of her hand. Her scars had completely been eradicated once the ritual was completed. It was almost as if being reunited with Spike, truly reunited with blood (‘cuz it’s always got to be blood, right?) completed something inside her and let her body heal the way that it was supposed to. Of, course she was sure that Spike was supposed to heal her heart as well, but he was on the other side of the country. He’d left. Again. Three days ago. That’s what inspired her to quit her job, travel the world, and simply disappear. Maybe she’d find peace elsewhere. But how could she ever find peace after that moment…







The battle was intense. The whole group, the core Scoobies, Angel, Spike, and twenty-five slayers that had flown in for the big show had burst into some old warehouse that was perched over the Hellmouth, much like the high school library. There were bringers, vampires (fortunately not the uber kind), plus a whole assortment of others to choose from. It looked like a war zone from the Initiative. It killed Buffy not to be able to help the others out, but she was busy being sprinkled with magical dust and told to stand in a circle very…very close to Spike.

She was admittedly nervous. After all the time she and Spike had slept together, they’d never crossed this line. His fangs had never entered any part of her. Sure, he may have slipped in to game face a time or two, but he was always in control. That was one of the things that always amazed her about Spike – his control. She’d never met a vampire who could rule over his demon more than Spike – not even Angel. Of course, she was also talking about her experiences with un-souled Spike, since most of their encounters were in that time. But that was the point; Spike had always had more restraint, regardless of the soul.

Being bitten was something that she’d only enjoyed once, that time with Angel, well before she passed out. Her organism had been so swift she couldn’t understand why he hadn’t done it their first night together. She didn’t love Angel even a fraction of what she felt for Spike, so how would she react to his bite? Certainly not that responsively in the middle of a battlefield – right?

Spike could smell how nervous she was and it hurt. After all this time, she still didn’t trust him. He knew she should have done this with Peaches. He knew that he had far better control than Angel ever had, so did Buffy. So why was she shaking? Could she possibly want to experience this…his bite? No, it couldn’t be, she was probably just unsure. He used to be able to read her so well, understand everything that she was thinking. He used to know that she loved him, just wouldn’t admit it. Over their time together, the last few weeks, he wondered where his conviction had gone. Once love’s bitch, always love’s bitch, but it was in the Hellmouth that he finally realized that she didn’t love him. If Buffy really loved him, she would have told him that night in the basement, or in the abandoned house, not right before he died. That was beyond cruel. Her ‘I love you’ was just tossed out there, like some really good pity sex…that was all it was…pity.

He handed Buffy the knife. She took it with her left hand. Her hand really was so scarred. His wasn’t. He figured it was because his body had to come back from a dusting, so there wouldn’t be any scarring. But then why her…maybe, just maybe she did love him…if he could just get past his own insecurities and find that inner strength he’d always had to fight for love. Years of being beaten down, combined with time spent apart had made him a bit gun shy, but by God, he was ready to fight for her again. If only she’d listen.

Buffy tilted her head at Willow’s instruction. The ritual was about to start, seeing as the earth was quaking.

Spike couldn’t believe that this was happening. He’d dreamt of having Buffy for so long. It had begun with his desire to have another slayer’s life-blood, but slowly changed. His demon and the parts of him that were still William wanted her…craved her. The demon wanted her blood, to know that it was for him alone - that luscious Slayer…Buffy blood, full of passion and love. His humanity wanted her words, to say that she loved him, needed him. But she’d never offered him either of those things.

But there she was, standing in an ancient pagan symbol offering him her neck, but it still was not for him. The blood she offered was in ritual, given up for the world, another sacrifice…never for him. Would he ever be enough for her? He bloody well would be as soon as this thing was over.

“Just relax, luv, I promise this won’t hurt.” Buffy gave him more access, gripping his forearms tightly while he moved in closer to her warm body.

He learned down to her neck, the side unmarked by his elders and Dracula. He wanted his mark to be in no way associated with their memories. He slowly licked up her pale throat with a smooth human tongue to relax her, something that she remembered. He moved on to suckled her skin, human teeth running slightly up the cords of her neck, remembering the taste and feel of her – like he’d ever forget. He’d take her memory to his dusty end.

Oh, God, was the only thing that Buffy could think. She’d could never forget this, just like she could trace the scars on her hand, she knew every single nuance of this man - the way if felt for him to stroke her back slightly with his hands as he coaxed her to tilt her head a bit more. He’d always loved her neck, whether it was a vamp thing or because she liked it so much, she never knew. But God did he know what he was doing. Focus on the ritual. She squeezed his arms tighter to make him hurry up. If he didn’t she’d end up embarrassing herself.

This is it, the only moment I’ve ever thought about. Spike felt the bones of his face shift and his fangs elongate. He ran his roughened tongue up and down her neck so she’d get used to the change and then swiftly penetrated her so as not to cause her excess pain. Then he began to take long draughts of her blood, like a starving man’s first meal.

I won’t last, I won’t last. Every part of her body became attuned with that of Spike’s. Almost as if they’d never been apart. She could always feel him and now it felt like his very essence was inside of her, making her whole and before she knew it, a tingling pressure was building up at the base of her stomach and she unconsciously ground her pelvis against Spike’s in a desperate need for release.

Well, that plans just gone to hell. He’d wanted to keep his cool and not be overly aroused by Buffy, so as not to scare her off. He should have known that being around her never allowed for that to happen. Great, now the chit’s rubbing up against some highly sensitive parts.

She just needed one last thing, she was so close. She didn’t think it was possible to get physically closer to him, other than the obvious, and that couldn’t happen, not with everyone surrounding them. She directed his hands to press against her mound, desperate for more contact and hearing him growl in response was just what she needed…and she came.

If he lived a million years, he’d never know how he did it. He somehow managed to focus on the ritual with Buffy there grinding against him, with the most delectable moans he’d ever heard spilling from her mouth. Then she slit his wrist and that bit of pain combined with the scent of her arousal sent him over the edge. He would have been embarrassed about his seemingly teenage crush-like control if it were not for the way that Buffy grasped at his arms and breathed out her pleasure against his face. He wasn’t even sure if he knew where he was anymore. All that he knew was Buffy, and then he was being hit on the back. The gang had come up around them and started to congratulate them on a job well done. He wanted to growl at them, his demon had placed its mark on what it saw as its mate and didn’t want to be interrupted; it was needed to finish the claiming.

Buffy saw the tension in Spike after the bite and desperately wanted to flee. If she’d not been wrapped up in her own ecstasy, she would have seen Spike’s love and pleasure, but the sudden appearance of her friends ruined that moment. Flushed with embarrassment, she’d barley noticed that the world was still there. After smiling momentarily, she walked off and left the cheering group behind.

“Buffy, luv, wait. We need to talk.”
“We don’t have anything to talk about Spike.”
“Yeah, we do. Can we go for a walk?”
“Keep up if you’re going to tag along.”

Outside in a nearby park…
“What do you want Spike?” Are you going to rub it in my face how the Slayer still gets off from vamps? Have you finally seen enough of my life so that you can really make a whole bunch of really hurtful comments? What…”
She’d been cut off by a kiss. It was slow and gentle despite the grip that he had on her arms and conveyed a great deal of what she was feeling.

Spike stopped and looked into her eyes seriously. In that moment, he’d realized a lot of things, first off, he’d missed kissing her, but more importantly – they’d stopped the ritual, he really was her true love. Even though he’d had the conviction before the bite to talk some sense into her, he now had the proof. But first things were first.

“I wanted to apologize to you. I know that I’ll never be able to make up to you, what I said back in L.A. I could tell you so many reasons for why I said it. I could say that I wanted to give you a bloody normal life, but then I’d be like the poof, and probably get you right pissed at me. I could even say that I wanted you out of my life so that I could finally have some peace. But no one would ever believe that there would ever be a time when I didn’t want you – my blood to stop craving you. I don’t have any excuses for what I did and said. None of it was the bloody truth. What was the truth was what I told you in that abandoned house before SunnyD was taken off the planet. You’re the one and a hell of a woman.”

"So all I can really say is that I’m sorry. There is no excuse for me. I was just being a git, insecure and so very poncey, thinking it might be the way it was before, before I got the soul. So, I’m sorry for not having faith in you and your love.”

"I was just so bloody scared – I reacted instead of thinking it out. I’m not asking you to forgive me, I’d never expect that…anyone to forgive my…treatment towards you. All I ask is for a sign that you don’t hate me. We’ve shared a lot of things over the years, pet, bitter enemies, shaky camaraderie, lovers, and tentative friendship, but I don’t think we’ve ever hated each other, right pet?”

Buffy stood dumbfounded for a minute. She never really expected an apology from Spike, not after all of these years, if ever. Even more than that, she didn’t think he’d admit fear as being the reason for his outburst…
“I don’t hate you Spike, I could never hate you. We’ve shared too much.”
“Then…um…do you think that maybe we could start over? I’m not trying anything. The best that we’ve ever been able to do is be friends…do you think we could try that?”
“No, Spike, I don’t think we can.”








That stupid statement had led her to her current predicament. She didn’t know why she’d done it. It just seemed like the logical thing to do. It was almost as if she was scared of having everything that she always wanted. She couldn’t very well play the put upon ex-slayer if she had her dreams come true. God I messed up.

Of course she justified herself with the fact that he left too. He’d been ready for her to accept the apology, which she so did, if…maybe not in so many words. Maybe she ought to take a communications class? Anyway, he still left.

Maybe they just weren’t meant to be together, two people who were that stubborn? Never could work. God, she couldn’t believe he left.

So now it was her turn to leave. She was done packing. All that was left to do was to see Dawn. Dawn knew of her sister’s traveling plans and was going to get the keys to the house in order to sell, see her sister off, and then Buffy would be free of these memories as well.




*Ding dong* Finally. I thought I was the only one to inherit the late gene. Buffy got up to answer the door, making sure that she could leave as quickly as possible, once she’d said the appropriate goodbyes to Dawn. Of course, Buffy running away was nothing new.
“Dawn, I thought you’d never get here….I….Oh, God….”
“Hello Cutie.”

And they lived happily ever after. The End.




Thank you so much everyone for your support. This was my first fic and all of your responses really helped get me through it. I couldn’t have done it without you. Hope to hear from you again….sequel?  Inara