Prologue - the beginning

“Will do you think you could you ever love me as more than a friend?”
Buffy Summers asked her best friend after confessing her feelings to a shell shocked William. They had just spent the night like every Saturday night watching films and talking about everything that happened that week when he told Buffy he was going to be a writer in New York, They had been sleeping together for about 2 months now, everybody thought it was longer, they had shared a bed since they were so young that it just natural progression for them, well Will at least. “Will please answer me?” it was about 9 days since the last time and Buffy had to know where his heart lay towards her if she was to ruin his dreams.
“Buffy, I’m sorry but you know you’re my best friend, you have always been, it’s just that I don’t think of you as anything else.” Buffy knew that was coming but continued to confess, if he was leaving he had to know some of what her heart said,
“please, don’t leave, I need you, I love you, I can’t imagine not having you in my life.”
“Buffy I have to go, for me, please understand”
“fine, go then but don’t expect me to like it”
“Buffy please …”
He was cut of by her outbreak of tears as she left his room and went home. Buffy knew she had hurt not only herself by saying she loved him but him as well.

“Will please let me finish” Buffy said with some anger in her voice as he cut her off. “Will, William! please listen to me, I love you, I always have and always will, I love your dorky glasses, your eyes, your hair, but most of all you. I think, no I know that it was more than just sex for us both, you were the first and I’ll always love you for that.”

Will had thought about what she had told him, He now knew that he had to leave now, at this moment, if he was to stay things would never return to normal and if he goes they will at least not have to have the awkward silences and stares from each other. He packed his suitcase and left two letters on his bed, one addressed to Giles and the other to Buffy.

The next day…

“Will are you up yet?” she questioned with a shaky as she reached his window. She only wanted to say she was sorry for last night and she always needed to hear him say everything was going to be ok as long as they had each other. He was not there. Buffy climbed into Will’s room and saw the letter addressed to her on his bed. It broke her heart to read it when she was in the safety of her room. He had actually left and wasn’t coming back to her. Everything was definably not ok now thanks to her.

Chapter 1 – Message in the wires.
6 years later...
Buffy’s apartment, Sunnydale.

“Josh, Josh come here now sweetheart”
Buffy said to her 6 year old son as she watched TV that night knowing he was still awake after a day with Anya and on screen saw the man Josh constantly asked about since learning about his dad from an over talkative Anya.

“Buffy he has a right to know who his father is.”
“And he one day he will when he is ready Anya.”
“You mean when you’re ready then…”
“Anya ke…”
She was cut off as Anya continued; neither of them knowing josh was standing behind the door after a bad dream.
“…Buffy he has a right to meet his father, don’t you think Will has a right to know his son also, you can be so selfish sometimes, you know that don’t you. So what if he is all famous now that does not mean that he wouldn’t be interested in either of you.”
“Anya keep your voice down, Josh is only in the next room sleeping.”
She repeated successfully this time. It wasn’t until then that Josh made them both aware of his presence at the door.
“mummy who...”
Buffy heard a small voice say from the doorway.
“come on mister lets get you back to bed, mummy and aunty Anya were just talking” she said before he could say anymore. Josh had of course seen pictures of his parents together, not that his mother knew this at first.

Josh knew what was she was going to show him. It just like every other time she asked him to come into the living room well after his bedtime, she knew he was still awake, of course her sister had taught Josh to use the on-screen TV guide to see if his father was going to be on anything, she could quite easily blame Dawn but she didn’t, she just wanted to help. He was going to see his daddy again.

He didn’t look like the pictures anymore. He now had bleached blonde hair that and wore all black except for the wine coloured shirt under his leather duster. The first time Josh saw him he was confused by this man and simply asked “who is that?” In the photos he Anya had shown him, his father had curly brown hair and blue eyes, Josh knew from these that he resembled his mother when she was younger, with his blonde hair and brown eyes; this made him wonder what part of his father was resembled in him. His mother always said that his heart was the part of Will he had gotten and that he was luckiest little boy in the world to have what so few have ever had or some in some case’s not had.

“Look at this mess Josh” Anya Willow and Dawn laughed as they ‘accidentally’ dropped Buffy’s not so secret box of memories whilst ‘cleaning up’ Buffy’s attic whilst she was at work. They often babysat for Josh and they both loved the time they spent with him. Buffy was often busy at work during the day so Dawn would stay there 4 nights a week to help take care of him, children were her forte and she was doing well in a steady 8-6 job as the local schools councillor after transferring out of Sunnydale high to Professor Rosetta’s school for Girls, before also getting a small set on a Thursday night at The Bronze, the local club, to earn some extra cash.

Buffy cuddled up on the sofa with Josh in her lap, as Spike was interviewed on national TV about his life, the band and the book. It was painful to watch him after all this time but she had to be strong for Josh’s sake and watch this with him, if only it would give her closure she needed. She had tried to keep Josh away from the TV when spike was on at in the beginning but later found out that Anya was telling him the stories and showing him the pictures that went with that Buffy refused to remember now and decided that that moment was the time he at least saw who his father had become.

“Joining me next is the lead singer of ‘Anvil Probability’ and best selling author, Spike Anderson” Cordelier Chase, ‘the first woman of late night entertainment’ continued.

Spike walked out to the stage and then over to the sofa opposite cordelia’s desk as he was instructed to do in rehearsal with a smile on his face and gave her a peck on the cheek.
“So Spike you and the band have a new album out next month, First Class Vicinity and the Amish Ignition, if I remember correctly, so who came up with the name then?”
“Well Cordy, do you mind if I call you that, this album was mostly written by our lead guitarist Oz, who is a great writer and I think the name was inspired by a private joke between himself and his girlfriend. The songs are amazing; I wish I had written them myself.”

Buffy was still laid with Josh, her eyes filling with tears as the interview continued on

“Well then what I and the nation would desperately like to know is who is, in your book; Wicked Stones’ who is and I quote ‘The bravest girl in history, The Slayer’? and why is her name never mentioned?
“Cordy, sorry to disappoint but I can’t say her name for legal reasons, but the short version she moved since I knew her and I have yet not been able to track her down so she can sign the legal forms allowing me to use her name.”

Buffy now had tears on her cheeks as she cuddled Josh so hard he knew even at his age something was wrong. ‘He actually remembered that’, Buffy thought to herself, he had always wanted to be a writer. He would often write something with her as the vampire slayer who would defeat evil and have the most un-normal life she could have imagined. Those were still kept in a box somewhere in the attic of his godfather’s house and she would bet her life that Giles had kept his room as a shrine to Will or Spike as he now goes by. She knew exactly where that name and new look had come from; he modelled himself on ‘Spike’ The Slayer’s worst enemy of all. She didn’t need to read his autobiography to know this.
“Ok Josh time for bed now, school is in the morning so you need to get some sleep, There’s a good boy for mommy”
He hesitated at first but did as he was told.

Dawn was stood in the doorway staring at her sister and josh on the sofa. It killed Dawn that Buffy was still hurting over Will. “See you in the morning Josh” Dawn said as he left the room alerting Buffy to her presence. “Hey Buffy” Dawn said quietly as she walked softly over to her sister. Cuddling up on the sofa, Dawn and Buffy watched the rest of the interview, silently comforting her sister.

It was seven the next morning Josh woke up Buffy and Dawn Saying they would be late, they had fallen asleep on the sofa together again, like every other time his father was on the TV. He had never met him, but Anya and Willow had said he a nice guy although they don’t know why exactly he left before graduation. It was Wednesday morning and she had to get ready to go to work. She wished she didn’t have to go today but she had bills to pay and couldn’t afford another sick day this year. It was a regular occurrence that she missed the morning of school when he was on but she was able to act stronger for the sake of her son, the day passed as it usually did listening to the worries of teenagers, helping them deal with smoking and boyfriends.

When Buffy returned home that night was a message on her machine.
“Hi Buffy its Dawn, Don’t worry Josh is fine, he’s staying with any and Xander tonight and he has everything he needs for school. look if you get this before I see you tonight turn to page 2 of the paper on the table. I wanted to tell you when it was booked but I had been warned not to. Sorry to dump this on you but before I forget I have to work late tonight were packed for a Wednesday night but I got your set saved for tomorrow at 10 sharp, don’t be late, see you soon. Ring if you need me.”
Buffy was thanking Dawn for the cryptic message on her way to the paper. She was sat at the breakfast bar with the paper in hand as turned the front page. There it was her worst nightmare right in front of her eyes.

TBC.

A.N. please please review and let me know what you think.

Chapter 2 – Surprise’s for Spike.
The Previous Night, Studio in LA.

Spike had just finished his interview with Cordy. He honest to God loved her but did she have to dredge that part of his past up, it was inevitable that someone would bring Buffy up, she was a huge part of that book, but to mention her when they had already decided on the questions with his manager. A timid looking girl was stood behind spike at that moment and said with more volume than one could have thought,
“Spike, we need to talk”.
Spike knew in that instant something was wrong, he only ever heard that voice from Tara when something was end of the world bad. Pulling spike aside into a small office type room she began
“Spike, you’re not going to like this but let me finish before you say anything, the band has been booked”
He looked at her with confusion, since when was that a bad thing
“… at The Bronze”
She nervously spat out. His face turned at this and he started to rant
“WHAT, HOW WHAT….”
“It’s the book spike; people want a performance at your local club to alongside a book reading so they booked the band for Saturday night””.
“WHAT! NO WAY IN HELL AM I GOING THERE”
“Yes spike you are, you are going to sing with band and read some of your book in the local store owned by your Godfather who couldn’t be more pleased that you are going home for a few days.”
She said with a lot more aggression than she had ever had before.

He left her alone in the room as he slammed the door on her; he had to phone Giles Immediately. Walking to a local payphone he let his nerves calm down before stepping in the box for privacy and pulling out his cell phone.
“Hello”
“Jenny it’s Spike is Giles there, I need to talk to him now”
“Hi Will, I will just get him for you then.”
“I think he knows” he could here her say to Giles.

Even from his end of the phone he could here Giles cleaning his glasses as usual.
“Giles WHY did you get the band to Sunnydale, WHY TELL ME” he started to shout down the phone.
“Look son, its time you came back home for a while, we all miss you son its been six years since you stayed more than a couple of hours and it would be good to have a break from it all, get back to your roots and your family”
Giles hung up the phone, turning to speak to Giles, Jenny sighed
“Wonder what he will be like when he hears about his son.” They were never told by Buffy but they did figure it out when Joyce told them she was going to be a grandmother

“you will never believe what I tell you now! Buffy’s pregnant!” she had found out a few days earlier and the joy had recently sunk in over having a little one in the house again and being a grandmother. She had practically run to tell Jenny the news; she bet she would also be pleased.

Spike was not looking forward to going back to Sunnyhell, but he did miss Giles and Jenny. He took a slow walk back to his hotel in LA, once in his room he rang Tara and simply said ok before hanging up again and disconnecting the phone. He searched the mini bar and found the bottle of Jack Daniels he was saving.
“well no time like the present” The thoughts had occurred that sunnydale meant running in to Buffy again, although she had moved so she might have left sunnydale behind also. He had no idea what she did with her life or anyone else really; he had only kept in touch with Jenny and Giles on his travels and never asked about anyone else.

He drank the bottle dry and fell asleep sleeping away the night and half of Wednesday. They were setting out to Sunnyhell today although they were performing until Saturday, Giles had requested that they have some free days beforehand. They were leaving for the three hour trip at 4pm and it was just 12:16 according to the hotel clock. “better get packing then” he sighed as his hangover reminded him it was there again,

4pm was edging even closer as he lay back down to get some rest before leaving after he had packed everything away. It was 3 when he woke up again, deciding he couldn’t leave it to late to get to the tour bus he connected the phone and rang Oz telling him he was ready when ever he was. They agreed to meet in the hotel lobby in a few and said goodbye. Before long they were on the road with the rest of the band and closing in sunnydale.

7pm – Giles’s House, Sunnydale.

“He will be here soon Rupert” Jenny repeated again for the fifth time in as many minutes.
“I just wish he would come home more often.” He replied. “you know get to know his friends again and his son,”
“Rupert don’t you dare say a word about him to Will, Buffy hasn’t even told us. It’s up to her decided when we all know” Jenny hastily replied.

Spike walked through the door at 7:30 looking like he had just come to hell not home. He had his suitcase’s by the door and went to hug Jenny, “welcome home Will” jenny said to him as they embraced. She was the only the person he couldn’t be angry at for calling him Will. She was practically his mother anyway. He also received a hug from Giles and was made to eat as he “looked like he hadn’t eaten in months’ Jenny laughed with him. They eventually all said goodnight and spike went to bed sleeping away the day again

TBC.

A.N. This on was a bit shorter i know but hey thats how my mind works. Thankyou so much for the reviews of the last chapter i had the biggest smile ever on all day and a few more. i am going to try and keep updating this story throughout my exams but unfortunatly they do take prioity as i need to pass them all this year. as always join my mailing list on my website for updates onthis and any future story.

Chapter 3 - The Bronze

Buffy didn’t get much sleep that night after reading the paper announcing Anvil Probability were to perform at the bronze on Saturday followed by a book reading at the magic shop. Although she knew better she rang in sick and went back to bed. She didn’t sleep rather just lay there thinking about how her life just got worse. It was 8pm when Dawn came by to see her sister between shifts at the bronze. She had wanted to come by earlier but couldn’t get off inventory. She knew her sister would hate her for telling her in a message on the machine but she had to know. Walking straight to the bedroom with a tub of cookie dough ice cream in hand she found Buffy just laying there, her eyes full of uncried tears. She placed the ice cream on the dresser and climbed into bed next to her sister. Buffy cuddled into Dawn and cried her heart out again. They laid like that for a few hours not moving much.
“Buffy I know you probably don’t want to but come to the bronze and do a few songs for me; you know that always cheers you up”
“I cant Dawnie, it hurts to much”
“Josh loves to hear you sing, please Buffy, I don’t like seeing you like this.”
“I know, one song only though” Buffy said to worn out to argue with her.

Spike came downstairs after a day of much needed rest simply saying hi to them both and leaving, He walked around sunnydale for a few hours in circles and decided to see what the bronze was like now before the gig. He walked in the front door and up on to the balcony just watching the band on stage remembering that was once him. He ordered a drink from the bar and returned to his seat just watching the band.

Buffy had been dragged to the bronze with the help of willow and dawn after changing her mind and going back to bed. They had laid out a pair of worn jeans that Buffy loved and a white tank top with a brown suede jacket to go over it. They wanted her to feel comfy on the stage tonight so didn’t argue when she refused to wear make-up and let the ponytail out of her hair.

“Up next we have a regular for you. So get your drinks and enjoy” Dawn announced through the microphone backstage, staying with her sister for support. Willow was stood on the other side of Buffy and was arguing with Buffy.
“Willow, I can’t do it”
“Buffy you have done this a million times before”
“I know but I don’t feel like singing tonight!
“Buffy you know once you start you work through everything”
“I know but”
“no buts Buffy see this” she pointed to her face “this is Willow resolve face”

Buffy walked centre stage with her guitar and sat on the chair dawn gave her in front of the house band and began to sing:

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I have ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me
vWhen I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me now

It's all coming back
It's all coming back to me now

There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again but then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow-baby, baby!

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me

If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me

It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now....

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then!

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago but it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me now

It's all coming back
It's all coming back to me now

There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again but they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow-baby, baby, baby!


When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me

When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see-all coming back to me

The flesh and the fantasies-all coming back to me
I can barley recall, but it's all coming back to me now....

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me now

It's all coming back to me now
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me now

Spike, still sat on the balcony was just staring at her after recognising who the familiar voice belonged to. He wondered what had happened to her since he left all those years ago to make her write this one. He didn’t realise that she wrote it just after he left those years ago and his return had made her sing this one he saw her get up and leave the stage after only one song. He wanted to comfort her like when they were teenagers and friends but knew he couldn’t not after so long.

Buffy never saw Spike on the balcony watching her. She couldn’t do it anymore after the one song so she got up and left. She returned to an apologetic Willow and Dawn.
“Buffy were so sorry, we didn’t know you still had that song around”
“we didn’t mean to upset you Buffy” They both said at once.
“its ok guys really, I feel a bit better! Buffy couldn’t help but lie after seeing their reactions to the song. “I’m gonna pick up Josh and go home.” She added.

Spike thought that he might not see her again and this wasn’t the perfect time to get her address for the legal papers for his book she needed to sign.

Buffy walked to the car park through the stage door and sat starting to cry when she heard someone round the corner.

Spike was in the car park after speaking to the bartender. He told him Buffy didn’t drive so she most likely in the car park waiting for a taxi as usual. He walked out and heard someone crying behind the wall. They must have realised someone was there as they stopped immediately and asked “who’s there”.
“Buffy?” He knew that voice anywhere.

TBC.

A.N. So i know this is an evil cliffhanger ending and also quite short but with my exams going so badly i havent had the chanceto write much. chapter 4 will hopefully be up soon, but no promises of a date as i still have three whole weeks of exams althought theyre not 24/7 they are still stressful and i am currently trying to rewrite the next few chapters to make them better. Also the song is All Coming back to me by Celine Dion although it has recently been covered by Meatloaf