*Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl,
You're much too young, girl........*

Chapter 1

"Will you hurry up Willow, there is an art to being fashionably late. It’s like an exact science, or something like that," Cordelia said impatiently, tossing her raven hair over her shoulder.

"So what are you, an artist or a scientist?" Buffy mumbled.

"What did you say," she questioned Buffy with narrow eyes. Cordelia turned to the quiet red-head and asked, "did she just call me a bitch?"

That question caused the two women to stop and stare at Cordelia’s quickly fleeing form. "Ladies, come, come. Fashionably late, remember?" She threw over her shoulder. Willow smiled shakily at Buffy.

"I don’t know, guys. I mean, how are we going to pull this off. I mean hello loving the scank wear," she said paused to look down at her black mini." But there has to be more to being twenty-one than dressing like, well like you Cordelia?"

Cordelia stopped and looked at Willow and Buffy and said, "I’ll have you know that what you so inanely refer to as ‘scank wear’ happens to be the height of fashion in Paris. I personally purchased this dress from a highly regarded fashion designer. And no, I won’t tell you her name because I don’t like dropping names. But do you have any idea how much my father paid for that blouse that you poured that cheap perfume on?

"Come on Willow," Buffy said quietly, "lets get in and then we can ditch Miss ‘Height of Fashion’."

"I heard that." Cordelia said, as she started towards the brightly lit building which was currently pumping hard music into the night air. The three young women walked towards the crowded entrance of the night club. Willow began nervously wringing her hands. Buffy discreetly touched her and Willow epped quietly. Willow had been running ‘worst case scenario’ in her head all day at school. The latest involved her and her friends, a tattooed man in a dress and a stolen SUV. It was thoughts like that, that were making her very uncomfortable--well that, and the impossibly high heeled boots she had borrowed from Cordy’s closet. Willow reached down to rub her throbbing foot.

Buffy on the other hand was almost jumping up and down in her excitement. She had been hearing so much about this night club that she was willing to do almost anything to get in, or in this case pay anything. Buffy opened her purse and pulled out her shiny new ID card. She looked down at it for the millionth time, pleased with the quality of the forgery. Cordy’s ex-boyfriend, Xander, had a friend, who had a friend, who had a brother who was a whiz with computers and also happened to own a laminator. For a cool $100.00 he was able to make you twenty-one years old in fifteen minutes. "Most excellent," Buffy whispered.

"Now remember ladies," Cordelia said drawing her two friends close. "We are sophisticated college women, who have come to do a little dancing, a little non-alcoholic drinking and a whole lot of flirting. We are not, however, high school nerds. Understand. Which means don’t embarrass me Willow." Cordelia took out her compact and started fixing her already flawless face.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself, remember Michael Mountcastle’s birthday party?"

"My goodness, we were twelve Cordy, let it go." Buffy said, looking skyward as they moved closer to the front of the building.

"I mean no one told me there would be clowns. They should have put it on the invitations," Willow stated. "And hey, as long as there isn’t any in there we are of the good." Willow beamed sweetly at her friends as they finally got to the front of the line. Cordelia turned to the bouncer and flashed her megawatt smile at him and he quickly let the trio through the door.

Buffy turned to the bouncer and asked icily, "aren’t you going to card us?"

Cordelia grabbed her friend’s hand as Willow said to the thick necked blond man, "she took a really awesome picture."

As the three women stood in the entryway, Buffy was still grumbling about the bouncer not checking her ID. "He didn’t get how much I paid for this thing." She looked down at her hand and wondered briefly if she could get her money back. As she raised her head to survey her surrounding, she couldn’t help but smile. Out on the dance floor were about a hundred tightly packed people shuffling around to the strong techno music. She looked over to the bar and watched how swiftly the bartenders ran from one end of it to another.

"I can’t believe how easy it was to get in. I mean, hello teenager here---" Willow began.

Cordy looked at Willow incredulously and turning to Buffy said, "Two minutes. She’s going to get us booted out of here in two minutes. I knew I should have brought Amy instead." Willow looked sheepishly at Buffy and Cordelia shrugging her spaghetti strapped shoulders.

Over at the bar William ‘Spike’ James stood, downing shots with his house mate Angel O’Farrell. "What you need my friend, is to find a warm body from this virtual smörgåsbord of babes. You," he pointed a finger into Spike’s chest, "have been alone far too long." Angel leered at a group of women as they walked by them. "Ladies," Angel said raising his glass. As the woman continued on their way, Spike could hear them giggling.

Spike sighed as he signaled the bartender for yet another drink. "Well, it’s wonderful that you can just fall over and there’s a bird underneath you. But there’s a bit of a difference between twenty-one and twenty-seven, mate. I’ve had my fill of meaningless relationships. It’s about time for me to start thinking of settling down huh?" Spike asked smiling wistfully in the mirror behind the bar.

"Angel whistled to himself as he ran his hand through his chocolate brown hair. "Dude, just because you’re thinking of settling down doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still window shop." He smirked at his friend and gave him a nudge. At that moment one of the women from the earlier group of ladies circled the duo again, making eye contact with Angel. "Excuse me but I've got to get this," and with that Angel was gone.

Spike watched his friend get swallowed up by the crowd of people and, not for the first time, wondered what the hell he was doing here. This was definitely not his thing. The drinks were too expensive, the music too current, the girls were-- his eyes caught sight of a slender blond and he felt his chest tighten. "Bloody hell," he breathed.
The blond was standing with a nervous looking redhead and a stunningly beautiful brunette. And while the room was overflowing with attractive woman, the sight of that petite blond actually made his head hurt. She was wearing a green silk slip dress that shimmered under the disco ball suspended above the middle of the dance floor. Her hair was long and piled high on her head. In her hand was a mix drink and he could tell that she was an inexperienced drinker. Every time she took a small sip out of the cup she pulled a face that made him want to laugh.

Willow suddenly turned towards Buffy and whispered, "Don’t look now but there is this totally hot guy checking you out. Over by the bar--I said don’t look!"

Buffy stood trying to look at the guy without actually looking at him. "What does he look like Will?" she yelled over the music. "Is it the guy with the blue shirt, or maybe the one with the long pony tail, just don’t let it be the one with the light blue member’s only jacket. Oh just forget it." Buffy turned around to stare into the bluest eyes she had ever seen. She felt her face heat up as she took in his shockingly blond hair, his tight black mock turtleneck, and killer cheekbones.

"Beautiful," they murmured simultaneously.

Cordelia looked at the handsome stranger and then at Buffy. "How about making it really obvious and wave, Buffy" Cordelia glanced back at the bar and murmured under her breath, "hotness on the move." She brought her drink to her lips and took a sip as she casually stepped aside.

Buffy stood wide eyed as the blond began to slowly ambled over to her. "What do I do, Willow?

Willow cut her eyes at Buffy and said "Eep."

"Right back at ya," Buffy said under her breath as they watched the gorgeous man approach.

"Good evening ladies, the name’s Spike."

Chapter 2
Buffy looked at the man standing in front of her, her mind a total blank. Sure, from afar he was attractive, but up close the man was, well he was just stunning. She knew she should say something witty and sophisticated, come across as more then a star stuck teenager. But this situation wasn’t something they had really thought out too well. Getting ready tonight it was all about what they were going to wear and getting in to the night club, not a thought spared for what to say if a grown man approached them. Funny, at school she was fairly popular, with her being one of the prettiest cheerleaders in Sunnydale High. And she did spend a year on the arm of Riley Finn, the captain of the football team. But something about this man made her feel like a little girl caught playing in her mom’s make-up. My goodness, she mentally kicks herself, she knows how to communicate with members of the opposite sex! What was wrong with her?

"Hi, my name is Cordelia, this is Willow and our mute friend here is Buffy," Cordy said setting her drink on the table next to her. "Hey Willow don’t you know that guy in the band?" Cordy asked pointing towards a short green haired man plucking at his bass.

Willow frowned at the band and said "No, where would I--"
"
Yes I think you do, Willow." Cordy mouthed, giving her friend a pointed look. "Let’s go see how he’s doing," Cordelia pushed Willow towards the stage without a backwards glance.

Buffy watched, horrified, as her friends sauntered away from them. She took a deep cleansing breath and turned back to him. "Hi, my name is Buffy, Spike is it?"

Spike watched the slight woman in front of him and wondered where she’d been all his life. He looked into her hazel eyes and reached for her hand. If possible, her large eyes grew larger as he brought her hand to his lips. "It is truly a pleasure to meet you Buffy."

Next to the stage Cordelia and Willow watched the two bottle blonds as they talked. "Did you see that, he’s making with the touchage," Willow said grabbing Cordelia arm excitedly, however Cordelia’s gaze was on a dark haired man who just walked in from the rear of the bar. While Buffy and her puppy love was absolutely adorable for all of about four minutes, it wasn’t something that she planned on watching all night with a bowl of popcorn. She observed with growing excitement as the tall sable haired man walked to the bar and got himself a beer. As he scanned the room his eyes connected with the leggy brunette standing by the stage. She boldly smiled at him and he put a hand to his chest as if to stop his racing heart. "Next," he whispered to himself as he picked up his drink and started over to her.

"Um, Willow I got to, well actually it’s that--oh I’ll be right back." Cordelia said as she left Willow standing open mouthed by the stage.

Willow stood, turning from Buffy and Spike, to Cordelia and the total stranger, and pouting she seriously thought about going home. She put her drink down and started to walk away when she heard this voice from on high. "Hey, you’re not leaving are you?" Willow looked at the green haired guy on the stage and frowned. She looked down at her watch. "At least I hope you’re not leaving," he said never taking his eyes off his amp.

Willow stared at the young man and smiling sadly said, "I might as well. I was just going to go home, seeing as my friends have forgotten I was here. I mean what with the flirting and the, well....ignoring. Now I’m all by myself, in a room with two hundred people no less. And yet-- still all aloney girl." She peeked over at him to see him still engaged in getting the right sound out of his instrument. She sighed and continued. "I didn’t really even wanna come here. They practically begged me to show up, and what do they do? The first chance they get, they abandon me. I bet they wouldn’t even notice if I went home," she finished softly.

"I would," he said looking up at her for the first time.

"So Buffy," Spike said placing the tip of his tongue behind his teeth. "Tell me about yourself. I mean Buffy, that’s an unusual name, is it short for anything," he asked pulling her to an empty table nearby.

"Well my first name is Elizabeth but everyone except my mom calls me Buffy. And anyway Spike, kettle black much?" she said trying to be heard over the live band that had just started warming up. "There is really nothing to tell. I’m a senior still living at home, who decided to go out with her friends. Done." Buffy realized that she needed to change the subject fast before he figured out that by senior, she meant high school senior. "Speaking of friends, I wonder where mine are. I haven’t seen either since they left me."

"Well, I see Red talking to that green haired bloke and, oh bugger, Ms. Homecoming Queen is talking to my house mate Angel." Spike looked at the brunette couple with concern.

"Spike----Angel? And you actually snarked about my name?" Buffy asked incredulous.

"We have normal names. The man talking to your friend over there is Liam and I’m--" He was cut off suddenly when the band started playing. Spike realized that any thoughts of conversation were pointless. He wondered briefly about asking her to go someplace else, a little more quiet. Buffy picked up her drink and looking at the lone ice cube floating in the clear liquid, and disheartened, put it back down again.

"Would you like something else, maybe a beer or--," Spike began.

"Actually if you don’t mind, could you just get me a diet coke. I don’t really feel like drinking tonight," she said looking at him nervously. "I’m not heavy on the whole drinking thing. Me and alcohol; very unmixy. Hey, I could give you the money--", she reached for her small hand bag and started digging through it.

Spike grabbed her hand again, ignoring the tingling in his stomach as he did so and said, "I think I can handle a diet coke in this place. I mean it can’t be any more then what, five or 6 dollars, right?" Buffy smiled at him and after a pregnant pause, Spike realized he still had her hand in his. "Oh, sorry," he said dropping it as he got up to go to the bar.

She watched him as he made his way to the bar and whispered to his retreating form. "Don’t be."

"Seems like you’ve hit the romance jackpot," Buffy looked up at Xander and playfully hit his hand.
"What are you doing here?" she asked watching him take a seat across from her.

"What are you talking about, the Xan man always comes out on ladies night." Xander drawled, pulling out his breath spray and giving himself a quick shot. He offered the small spray bottle to Buffy.

"Tonight the part of ‘weird pick up guy’ will be played by Xander Harris," Buffy said sarcastically. She looked down at the spray he was offering her and after a moment’s thought, took it from him.

"So Buffster," he said after slipping the breath spray back in his pocket when she was finished with it. "How did it go?" She looked at him frowning." Hey what’s with the face? What happened, did you have a problem?"

"I don’t know Xander, if by problem you mean they didn’t even ask to see it. Then yeah I had a problem. I didn’t even need it! I gave your friend Little Mikey a hundred bucks, and for what?"

"What did you give Little Mikey a hundred bucks for?" Buffy looked up into Spike’s blue eyes as he stood with a beer in one hand and a diet coke in the other.

"Huh...," she stammered. "I umm gave him uhh--"

"She gave him a C note for tickets for this concert in LA." Xander said leaning back. "The concert was suppose to be next month but it was canceled. You know one of those five part homo--I mean harmonious boy groups," he smiled over at Buffy. "I heard that the sensitive one is in one of those posh rehab centers. He OD’ed on estrogen. It helps him hit the high notes." Xander said leaning in.

"You’ve seen him in ‘weird pick up guy’, now see Xander Harris play ‘to much information man’," Buffy said, as both she and Spike stared at Xander opened mouthed.

"Well, that was interesting," Spike said looking at the young man sitting across from Buffy. "And you might be?"

"This is Xander, he’s an old friend of mine. We went to high school together," Buffy said looking at Xander with hard eyes.

"Yeah the Buffster and I go way back. We met, when? Junior year at old Sunnydale high? Yep, those were the days, I mean it seems like yesterday we were walking those halls, Huh?" Xander’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he watched Buffy color and squirm in her seat.

"Well, Xander as much fun as walking down memory lane with you is, I don’t want to keep you. I know how busy you are." Buffy said pointedly to Xander’s still smiling face.

"Don’t worry yourself, I see just the Homecoming Queen I wanted to talk to," Xander said, spotting Cordelia talking to a dark haired man. He turned to Spike and asked, "Can you believe we went to our Junior Prom together. Ahhh the memories..."

"Xander!"

"I’m going, I’m going. I’m out of here. You know what, on second thought maybe I’ll leave Miss Chase to her Cro-Magnon man." Xander said, eyeing the dark haired duo. "He’s kinda big. Later guys." He stood up and was quickly swallowed up by the crowd.

Spike sat down in the seat that was so recently vacated. "That was interesting," he said, after a minute of silence.

"You already said that," Buffy smiled.

"What else can I say after that, Pet?" He asked, eyes scanning the crowd for Xander.

Buffy smiled down softly at her hands when he referred to her as ‘pet’. She suddenly jumped as the band started playing another loud block of music. "You know what, let’s get out of here. We can go somewhere quiet, so we can talk and you can tell me a little about yourself." She smiled up at him, but her smile quickly faded when she saw his disapproving look.

"I hope you don’t leave with every stranger you meet in a bar, Luv," Spike asked, concerned.

Buffy felt herself stiffen at his words. "What are you trying to say, Spike?" she asked, eyes flinty. "I was talking about going to get coffee. I don’t know what kind of---,"

Spike put up his hands in surrender. "Whoa, whoa. I didn’t mean to step on your feelings, Pet. The truth be told, I’d rather sit in this bleeding club with you. Here," he began, sliding next to her, "I have a reason to stay close."

Buffy’s anger dissipated and she felt herself begin to blush. Speaking ever so softly, so that he had to lean in even more, "We could always find a cozy corner upstairs to talk."

Spike stood up slowly and reached for her small, warm hand. Buffy’s heart started to gallop as she let him lead her to the stairs. She couldn’t help but notice the envious stares of a couple of the women they passed. She looked at the back of his golden head and involuntarily squeezed his hand. He turned to look down at their joined hands and squeezed back. And as he looked her in the eyes, his face broke into a beautiful smile that she readily returned. But as exciting as this night was turning out to be, she couldn’t help but worry about their obvious age difference and the growing number of lies she was needing to cover it.

Cordelia watched the couple as they made their way through the crowd. She had seen Buffy speaking to Xander earlier, and was glad when he chose not to come over to her. She often wondered what kind of madness had caused her to date so far down the food chain. Thankfully things seem to be improving . She again looked at Buffy and, what was his name? Cordelia spared a moment to wonder where they were headed.

"Is that your friend with Spike. She’s cute." Cordelia turned abruptly towards Angel, her mouth set in a grim line. "In a little kid sorta way," Angel amended quickly. "Don’t worry gorgeous, I don’t do cute." Cordelia quickly smiled up at Angel and silently handed him her empty glass. "You want another one? Let me," he said smiling tightly. He turned to walk away and stopping momentarily asked, "You sure you don’t want a beer or something; how about a shot?"

"Why Angel, are you trying to get me drunk?" she asked sweetly. When he shook his head no, she continued, "Tell them no ice this time their diet is watered down enough. And if you hurry back I may let you dance with me." Cordelia pulled out a mirror, dismissing him. Angel clenched his teeth as he walked away, but he was not discouraged, he was even more resolved. He always did like a challenge.

On the upper level Buffy and Spike found a couch that had seen better days. Buffy sat down on the couch and after handing her their drinks, Spike did the same.

"Now Luv, back to you," he began.

"No, actually we were talking about you," she said coyly.

Spike moved closer to her, putting his arm around her, and drawing her closer still. "Well, I’m originally from London but I’ve been in the States for almost a decade, and I am a teacher."

"Wow, an educator, so not the type. What level? high school?-- No not high school, I know you’re a English professor at some stuffy college," she said pointing at his chest.

"No, not quite." He said smiling.

"A kindergarten teacher!! Willow screamed the next afternoon.

"You would find the only Boy Scout in the place," Cordelia snarked sitting down in a lounge chair. The three girls sat next to Cordelia’s parent pool getting a little weekend sun. Buffy rolled her eyes at the statuesque brunette, who was, at the moment, concentrating only on getting a even tan. She turned on to her stomach after laying her chair out flat and closed her brown eyes.

"So," Willow said leaning in, "Spill."

"He is wonderful." Buffy exclaimed, "Perfect, hot, mature---"

"As in ‘old’," interrupted Cordelia.

"Yeah Buffy, how old is he," Willow asked, concerned.

Buffy looked down at her nails and mentally reminded herself to go see Mrs. Lee about a manicure and peeking down at her feet thought ‘pedicure’. "Like I said before he teaches kindergarten over at Sunnydale Elementary. He’s been doing it for three years and he is 27."

Willow whistled to herself and asked her, "Does he know how young you are?" Buffy dropping her eyes, was answer enough. "How can you think of seeing him again. You are seeing him again, right?" Buffy nodded her head. "How can you expect to see him, to date this guy when you are not being truthful. If, no, when he finds out...."

"I know," she cried out, "I don’t know what happened. When he first came over, I thought I was just hanging out, being mature girl, you know. He asked me how old I was I didn’t actually lie to him I just didn’t--"

"Tell him the truth." Cordelia said dryly.

"It was a game, I didn’t think I would actually like him. I mean hello, he’s 10 years older then I am. What would we have in common? But Willow, he’s perfect and I’m a liar. When he finds out if he doesn’t run screaming from me because I’m still in high school, he’s going to run from me because I am a liar."

"Only a situational liar." Cordelia said sipping from her diet tea.

Willow looked at Cordelia incredulous and said, "Cordy, not helping. What about you? Did you tell Angel how old you are?"

"Don’t be ridiculous, of course not!" Cordelia snorted. She got up and walked to the table and refilled her glass. "But unlike Buffy here, I don’t plan on ever seeing the man again."

"Miss Cordelia," the housekeeper said walking out of the main house, "telephone. It’s a Mr. O’Farrell."

Cordelia squealed and followed the short, white clad woman back into the house. Buffy turned and smiling at Willow asked, "And what about you, I do recall seeing you with a little green haired guitar player--"

"Bass."

"A little green haired bass player. Very cute, how did that work out."

"His name is Daniel but everyone calls him Oz. Ironically he’s only 19. He got in because he was in the band. And I’m all ‘go me!’--but I’m also ‘poor Buffy’".

"That’s all right," Buffy said patting her best friend knee. "I’m so happy about you meeting a guy. I mean really, it’s about time you got over that silly crush that you have on Xander." Buffy waved her hand dismissively at the very thought.

"I’ll have you know that whole Xander thing is so over, when I found him and Cordelia making with the smooches in the broom closet at school. Let’s just say yuck, with a capitol ‘yuck’". They broke down in a fit of giggles as Cordelia came out the back door, laughing on the phone.

"Oh Angel," she cooed. "Stop saying things like that. Listen I have to go, I have company. We’re working on our tans. Yes....it’s black. Yes.....of course it’s a two piece. Angel! I have to go; bye," she said into the phone, cheeks flushed. "Men," she mouthed as she turned to her friends. The three burst out laughing.

Chapter 4
 
Angel snapped his cell phone shut with a curse. "What’s wrong, you git? Finally met your match, Huh?" Spike yelled from the basement.

"I don’t know why I even bother. She’s nothing but a tease. I mean, sure she’s gorgeous, smart and confident. But she’s also rude, spoiled, shallow, high maintenance--- very high maintenance," he finished quietly. "But I can’t stop thinking about her."

"She’s gotten under your skin, mate," Spike said carrying up a basket of warm clothes. "I know the feeling. The smell of her skin, the curve of her neck, the way the light makes her hazel eyes sparkle like diamonds." Spike mused staring off into the distance. Spike had only been in a few relationships, no one serious since coming to The States. The closest thing to a long term relationship that he had was with an airhead he had met in school.

Harmony’s four year old son was having problem adjusting to being away from mom all day. Spike had requested a meeting to tackle the problem, but somehow ended up with a phone number and a date for the following weekend. Halfway through their first rendezvous he knew he never wanted to see the busty blond again. Somehow, two years later Harmony was asking to co-habituate. There were many days, that he would watch her zipping through his house, panicked, because he didn’t know how to get rid of her.

Then the most wonderful thing happened. One day Harmony came bursting through his front door and while he was wondering how the hell she got a key to his apartment, she told him about her job transfer. He held her while she cried about how cruel fate was. He was very proud of himself, he didn’t crack a smile until well after they were in bed and she was sound asleep. Spike knew why he let that relationship go on as long as it did. He was lonely, plain and simple, although Harm was a scatterbrain she was a loyal one, unlike his previous girlfriend Dru.

Spike shuddered thinking about his dark queen. That was a relationship that was dysfunctional right from the beginning but he was young and believed that love would conquer all. Dru cured him of that romantic fluff really quickly. Towards the end it just became about keeping it out of his home. It was at that point that he realized that London wasn’t big enough for both he and Dru. Hell, England wasn’t big enough for them. Before he knew it, he was on a plane to The States to finish school.

So now he kept himself busy by working in one of the risk school’s in the district. He knew he wasn’t the stereotype that sprung to mind when picturing a teacher of small children. But little kids have the ability to keep you honest. And truth be told it was very relaxing to finger paint and take naps all day. He also took pride in the fact that a lot of this small children didn’t have positive male role model other than him. Some of them, because of circumstances out of their control, were being raised in a environment of women. It was an epidemic he had noticed when he was student teaching. It was at that point that he changed his focus from high school to early development.

"Why don’t you just call her," Angel asked, pulling Spike out of his thoughts.

He turned to his house mate and smiling sheepishly said, "That would be great but I didn’t get it. Actually she wouldn’t give it to me. I don’t know. I thought we were getting along smashingly, but when I asked to see her again she got real skittish.." He frowned at the memory. "I gave her mine and I just hope she calls me, mate. What if I never see her again?"

"That my friend, isn’t a problem," Angel said waving a yellow post-it. "You want it?" Angel smirked at his friend as he moved his hand slowly back and forth. "Don’t worry it’s real, the ‘homecoming queen’ gave it to me. It’s Buffy’s cell.

"I’m not in bleeding 8th grade, you git--"

Angel’s eyes narrowed as he whisper, "But. Do. You. Want. It?"

"Give it to me," Spike said holding out his hand. Angel barked out a laugh and stuck the post-it to Spike’s forehead.

"So Angel, Huh? What was he like? It’s your turn to spill," Buffy said.

Willow stood and stretching said, "I’m going to jump in the pool. I’ll be right back." She hurried to the water’s edge and dove in, barely causing a splash.
Cordelia took a long sip of her diet tea. "I don’t know, he’s nice I guess." She flashed on Angel’s soulful eyes and warm smile and sighed. "I mean if you like big bear chested men---"

"Which you do."

"Which I do," she conceded. "He’s 21, a Taurus, and he’s finishing up his senior year at that real ritzy school downtown. He’s actually comes from a very wealthy family. He would have been perfect."

Willow leaned over the edge of the pool and questioned, "Would have been perfect? What’s the problem. He’s cute, he’s rich, and he’s in college. What’s not to like?"

"Unlike Miss Summers here, I don’t want to date the nutty professor." Buffy rolled her eyes to the sky. "A--a science geek!" Now it was Willow’s turn to look heavenward. "I always imagined myself marrying a senator or the governor. I would give fabulous parties, wear expensive clothes and have an affair with my hot Latin pool boy when I turn forty. Not watching my man grade salt maps."

"Don’t you think that you’re moving a little fast here. I mean, we’re only talking about dates not diamonds." Willow stepped out of the pool.

"Dear Willow, it’s always about diamonds. We are marketing ourselves and it’s cutthroat out there. We are getting older ladies and we are setting patterns. One does hang out with educators and end up marrying doctors." Cordelia shook her head sadly.

"You have trophy wife written all over you," Buffy said dryly.

"Thank you," Cordelia smiled. "I mean I wouldn’t go to the local McDonald and start macking on the guy who hands me my fries. Next thing you know, I’m 200 pounds, married with three kids. I’ll be catching the bus to my job at the Piggly Wiggly. No thank you."

"There is no Piggly Wiggly in California," Willow pointed out.

"So not the point, Willow!" Cordelia yelled.

"All she’s saying is---" Buffy was interrupted by a tinny version of ‘Harder to Breathe. She picked up her cell phone and frowning murmured. "I don’t recognize this number....Hello?" Her cheeks colored and she spun around to glare at Cordelia.

"You want me to freshen up your tea, Willow?" Cordelia asked sweetly as she jumped up and scurried into the house.

"Hello Spike," Buffy said into the phone.

"Hi, Pet," he replied. "I was thinking about last night and realized that I really want to see you again. And I know that you want to see me too. We could go for get that coffee you wanted last night." Spike smiled into the phone as he waited for her reply.

"I don’t know, you are a strange man I met at a bar...." she teased.

"And a right stupid git I was for saying that, Luv." he said quickly. "So what do you say, 7:00 tonight? I could swing by---."

"How about I meet you at Java Mountain by the school. OK? Well, I’ll see you then, bye." After hanging up the phone Buffy sat for a full minute. She silently worried her bottom lip. Willow watched her friend as Cordelia quietly came to sit back down. Cordy opened her mouth to say something and catching Willow’s look she wisely chose not to. Finally Buffy spoke. "Guys, you are going to have to cover for me."

"What do you want us to do, Buffy?" Willow asked nervously.

"Well," Buffy stood up and began pacing back and forth. "If I’m going to start seeing him there are two things we have to do. Namely, he can’t ever meet my mom, and she can’t ever know he even exists ."

"Hello, Buffy what about the fact that you are a whole decade younger than him. How are you going to keep your age difference a secret?" Willow wondered.
"I don’t know, I’ll think of something. I mean I only have to keep it from him for another," she paused to do the math, "five months." She stopped and looked at her friends brightly. "Yeah, only five months and then I’ll tell him." Willow and Cordelia looked at one another and frowned. Buffy caught the look and said, "What."

"I don’t know Buffy that’s a long time to lie to a guy you say you like. When you finally do tell him your age then
what? He forgives you and confesses his undying love to you?" Cordelia said frankly.

"You don’t think I realize that, Cordy. I don’t know how else to do this," Buffy said panicked. "If I tell him I’m not even eighteen yet how long do you think he’ll stick around? At least I have five months to make him like me enough to overlook a little white lie. I mean, this way I can show him what a great girl I am, and how mature I am for my age."

"I don’t know Buffy," Willow began. She looked at Buffy’s pleading face and fell silent. The three girls sat quietly for a moment around the pool, each in their own thoughts when Willow sighed, "What do you want me to do?"

Buffy jumped up and clapping her hands hugged her friend. "Well this evening won’t be a problem. I’m meeting him at seven. I’ll tell him I have to study so that it can be an early night." She started pacing again as her mind spun. "I may need you guys as a cover in the future though. But tonight I’ll just tell my mom that I’m going to be studying at the coffee shop. Everyone knows it’s like the new library right?" She looked at her friends hopefully.

"No it’s not!" Cordelia said after a beat.

Spike closed his cell phone quietly and went back to folding his clothes. Angel breezed down the stairs in a tee shirt and a pair of shorts. He headed for the front door and to Spike, "now aren’t you glad you called her? What did she say?"

We’re meeting for coffee in a couple of hours," he said matching his socks. "Where are you headed to?"

He smirked and picking up a towel from the basket replied, "I don’t know, I thought I’d go for a swim." Angel closed the door on his house mate's confused expression.

Chapter 5


"What do you guys think of this one?" Buffy asked standing in front of Cordelia’s walk-in closet. She spun around, showing off a denim skirt and a green peasant blouse. All around her feet were discarded pieces of clothing. They had been at this for about a half hour and she was no closer to finding a suitable outfit than when they had started. Willow picked up a pair of high heeled sneakers and turned up her nose.

Cordelia sighed loudly and announced, "I think you should be doing this in front of your own closet." Buffy cut her eyes to Willow who now had a thigh high black boot in her hand. Willow felt Buffy looking at her and made a small cat scratching motion at her. Cordelia shrugged her shoulders and, ignoring them both said, "And I can’t believe the mess you’ve created in my room. Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take to clean up this clutter."

"No," Buffy said curtly, "And neither do you. You’re just going to get Marie to clean it for you." She turned to look at herself in the mirror, trying to get the shirt to fit more snugly. Frowning at her reflection she turned back to Cordelia and pleaded, "Help me!"

Cordelia smiled at the tiny blond and mimed rolling up her sleeves. She stood up and walked over to her friend, grabbing a coral camisole and muttered, "Well Marie may have a mess to clean up but I’m going to have to like sit in the kitchen until it’s done." She pouted at the duo. "How much fun is that going to be?"

Quietly the bedroom opened and the housekeeper stuck her head in. "Um Miss Chase, there is a young man here to see you. A Mr. Angel---"

Cordelia grabbed both Buffy and Willow and pushed them out of her room. "Willow it’s time for you and the My Size Barbie to get going, I have a guest." Cordelia picked up Buffy purse. "Besides, my clothes aren’t made to fit your, umm how can I say this....your proportions. I mean where things are meant to flare they somewhat lie, and where they are suppose to cling they kinda, well drape." She slammed the door in their faces only to open it seconds later. "Tell him I’ll be right down," and with that she was gone.

Buffy and Willow came down the stairs smiling innocently at Angel. "So you’re Buffy, Huh?" Willow raised her brow at the way he said ‘Buffy’. He looked her slowly up and down. Buffy fought the urge to cover herself. Willow’s raised brow developed into a full fledge frown.

"Hi my name is Willow and we," she grabbed Buffy hand and pulling her towards the front door said, "were just leaving."

Angel called to the girls’ retreating forms, "Spike is looking forward to tonight!" Buffy looked over her shoulder and flashed him a brilliant smile. Nice job old Willie he thought to himself as he settled down on the plush suede couch.

"That was umm... odd," Buffy said to Willow as she walked to her car.

"Odd?" Willow screeched. "These last few hours have been more than odd, Buffy. Willow fumbled for her keys. Why are we still hanging out with her. Sure we were friends when we were like kids, but... I mean it was different when she was dating Xander, it was kinda like not in my control." Xander and Willow had been friends since preschool. And although he only saw her as the sister type, she had been crushing on him almost that long. Things got a little tense when it came out that Xander and Cordelia had started dating. It’s very hard to be faced with your ideal’s idea of ideal and it looks, acts, and talks nothing like you. Willow and Xander’s friendship had survived a summer of Cordelia, but somehow in the divorce Buffy and Willow got custody of Cordy. Willow gave one more look at the great house in her rear view mirror and whispered, "I don’t even think she likes us."

For a moment both women thought about that comment, Buffy’s eyes met Willow’s and she gave her a small smile. "Enough of Cordelia. Let’s talk about you and a certain green haired rocker dude." Willow colored slightly and waved her hand dismissively.

"I don’t know Buffy. I mean me and a rocker guy? I’m not the groupie type. I’m Willow, Anti-groupie, the vaccine of groupie." She smiled dreamily as she drove. "He was a cutie patootie," she finished softly.

"You, my friend are just oozing groupage!" At Willow’s giggle, she continued "You yourself said you felt a connection. Why can’t you believe he felt it too? You sell yourself short a lot, you are awesome."

"Do you think--", she begin. "I mean about the connection. Not the--not the other thing." Buffy knew that her friend was uncomfortable with the thought of her greatness, so she just nodded softly at Willow. Buffy reached over and turned on the radio and started looking for a station. "He did say he would call me tonight but I don’t know if he was just being brush off guy, or maybe...."

"Don’t worry. He’ll call." Buffy reassured her friend as she adjusted the radio. "Oh, I love this song."
"Isn’t it great old song? And a little appropriate too given your situation, I might add," Willow said as they both started singing.

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl,
You're much too young, girl
With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe
You're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth, Oh,
Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know
That it is wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes, Oh,
So hurry home to your mama
I'm sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
'Cause I'm afraid we'll go too far, Oh,
Young girl .....


The two friends spent the rest of the car ride not worrying about boys, but laughing and singing old songs.

Later that night however, Buffy got a serious case of the nerves. She had been through 2 closets and still couldn’t find that one perfect outfit that said casual but sophisticated. "And don’t forget available," she said under her breath to herself as she spun around in front of the mirror. She looked at her Hello Kitty clock and felt her heart race even more.

There was a soft knock on the door as her mother poked her blond head in. "Honey, I know you wanted to go the Java house tonight---," Joyce began.

"No Mom..." Buffy whined as her stomach dropped.

"It’s not until 10:00. Your Aunt Jenny needs a baby-sitter." Joyce looked around her daughter’s room and scowled at the clothes thrown all over the place. "I mean, how much coffee can you and Willow drink, right?" Joyce turned and said in a sing song voice, "She said she’d double your rate."

Buffy grinned at the unexpected extra money but then thought of having to cut her date short with a certain gorgeous Twenty-seven year old man, "Cuz I gotta baby-sit my cousin Dawnie," she muttered. "Yeah, how mature is that?"

She heard her cell phone sing and hurried to pick it up. "Hello? Oh hi Spike," she whispered in the phone. "Whispering? I sound like I’m whispering?" She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. "We must have a bad connection. You know how these cell phones can be. Let me go outside and maybe you’ll be able to hear me better."

Spike smiled to himself as he listened to her rustling over the phone. There was something very innocent and sweet about her. He’d felt it almost immediately upon meeting her. He could almost picture her racing through her house trying to get to the door. Spike wasn’t too off in his imagination. Buffy knew she couldn’t talk freely when her mom was in soft soled shoes. So she headed for the back yard.

"O.K., is this better?" she asked somewhat winded. She tried to slow her breathing and calm her voice. She always wanted her voice to be breathy, but this was ridiculous.

"I just wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight, Pet," he asked with a deep rumble.

Buffy felt her stomach flip and her cheeks burn, as her face all but split in two from the huge smile that formed when she thought about their upcoming date. Then she thought about her 10:00 appointment and her face fell.
"I got good news and kinda news that is of the bad variety. We can still meet at Java Mountain, but I’m not going to be able to stay as long as I’d like. Seems I was just informed of a pressing engagement. It’s nothing major, I just have a baby-sitting commitment that I can’t get out of."

"I hope this isn’t a brush off, Luv . If you don’t want to go." he began.

"No!" she said suddenly. "I mean no, I am looking forward to this evening. It’s," she looked down to her watch," almost 6:00 how about we meet in about 10 minutes.

Chapter 6

Buffy stood outside Java Mountain, trying not to pace. Nope not pacing. However the more she tried not to pace, the stronger the desire grew. She tried sitting down and people watching, even having imaginary conversations with Spike. But that was a bad idea because each conversation ended up in sticky territory. Why couldn’t I be five years older, she wondered. She didn’t want Willow or Cordy to know, but she did fear Spike finding out about her deception. All it would take was one wrong word. Just one, and he would know that she had lied. No matter what she told the girls, Buffy knew she would have to tell him the truth sooner or later. She was banking on later.....much later.

Soon she saw a familiar figure stepping out of his car. She fought the urge to run into his arms. I gotta stop reading those silly romance novels she thought, shaking her head.

"Hi, I hope you weren’t waiting long." He hesitantly reached over and took her hand. Buffy felt her face color and quickly looked at her feet. Spike noticed her reaction and smiled at the small blond. "Oi Pet," she looked up at him shyly. Spike leaned in and whispered, "What are you going to do when I kiss you." Buffy felt her face flame and all thoughts of sophistication floated up unto the night air. Spike gave her hand an affectionate squeeze and scolded himself saying, "Sorry Luv, sometimes I am a wicked man. Let’s get inside."

Buffy felt herself start to panic as a half a dozen responses fluttered through her mind. She knew she should say something, that she had to say something, but now the urge to pace was replaced with the even stronger desire to not come across as an idiot.

Spike led her over to an unoccupied corner of the coffee house. He cut his eyes to Buffy as she smiled tightly at him before she once again started examining her nails. He sighed and murmured, "you know, Pet. You’re going to have to talk to me at some point." He reached over and lifted her eyes to meet his. One thing Spike knew was how to deal with skittish women. With Dru’s many mood swings that was a lesson he had learnt quickly, and well. He was momentarily distracted as his dark princess started to dance seductively through his mind, however she was quickly replaced by the diminutive blond across from him. Spike leaned in close saying softly, "don’t go all shy on me, pet. We have a lot of date to get through before you have to leave. So how about I get us a cup of coffee?" He paused and picked up her small hand again, "and then I can tell you how beautiful you look tonight."

Buffy watched him go to the counter and when he turned catch her eye, she gave him a radiant smile. Buffy knew she needed to relax before she blew it big time, but he made her so nervous. It’s because you’re lying she thought bitterly to herself. She has always believed herself to be an honest person, and she hated the fact that she was lying to him. But he was such a great guy. "Wow, that makes sense." she whispered. Buffy sighed and tried to discreetly check her make-up in her mirror.

"Now Luv, I told you that you were beautiful,’ he voiced as he sat down. Along with two steaming cups of coffee, he had a large hunk of cake. "I hope you like carrot," he said sitting the plate down between them.

Buffy took the spoon he offered her and started in on the slice. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she moaned. "Oh my goodness! This is wonderful! I bet this frosting is homemade," she added running her finger up its side. Spike watched her as she started talking about the cake. A small smile played on his lips as she grew more and more animated. Suddenly she stopped and looked down, first at the empty plate, then at the spoon in his hand. She met his eyes and, smiling sheepishly at him, whispered, "It was a really good piece of cake." Her eyes grew wide and she groaned, "I just went all chatty Cathy on you, didn’t I?" She put her head in her hands and muttered, horrified, "over cake."

Spike barked out a laugh and leaned back in his chair. Dangling out of his mouth was a unlit cigarette. Buffy eyed him pointedly as he opened his ornate lighter. She pointed and both their eyes found the ‘Yes! This is a smoke free environment!’ sign posted over the register. "Oh bugger," Spike cursed. "It’s getting to the point where a bloke can’t have a decent fag anymore.

"First off," Buffy said taking a small sip of her coffee. "This is California and you shouldn’t throw that word around so casually. And secondly...," Buffy cut her eyes to a young man a few tables away, who had obviously heard some of what Spike had said. He gave Spike a small knowing smile, causing Buffy to giggle behind her hand.

"Come here," Spike growled.

"Wha--,"

"Come here," he said again.

"You want me to---," she never finished the question as Spike leaned over and kissed her soundly on the lips. Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise, but quickly closed as she melted into the kiss. All too soon it was over and Buffy smiled softly at the young man sitting at the other table and shrugged her shoulders.

She turned her attention back to Spike as he was licking his lips. They once again leaned in towards each other and Spike said under his breath, "that frosting was good."

"You want some more," she whispered back at him. Buffy felt his nose slowly trailing across her cheek as he took in her scent. She felt goose bumps rise on her arms and a tingle run down her spine. She took his hand as he started kissing slowly at her jaw line. Buffy remembered they were not alone when she heard someone clearing his throat. Spike leaned back and Buffy colored deeply at the manager’s reaction to their very public show of affection.

Spike empty his cup and stood up suddenly. "I’ll be right back." Buffy pouted as she watched him walk across the now crowded coffee house. Outside Spike stood cupping his hand around a cigarette as he lit it. He inhaled deeply, as his thoughts of course drifted to Buffy. He knew that these feelings were coming too fast and that they were too strong. He’d just met the girl the night before!

He pulled on the cigarette deeply and before he could stop it his train of thought brought him once more to Dru. He compared the two women and shook his head at just how dissimilar the two were. Dru was raven haired and pale, as were most of the woman that traveled in their group. They considered themselves enlightened and lofty, too wise for the world around them. Choosing to spend all their time holed up somewhere in bed or in endless conversations about nothing. At times Spike missed her and that life greatly.

Buffy, on the other hand, was light and warmth. She personified California with her sun kissed hair and bronzed skin. Her innocence and incredible beauty made him almost lightheaded when he was around her. Spike tossed away the spent cigarette and smiled wistfully, as he realized that he could quite possibly fall in love with this one.

Buffy quietly hummed to herself as she waited for Spike to return from what she assumed was a cigarette break. Her cell phone rang in her small purse. "Hello, Willow," she said after peeking at her caller ID. "Make it fast," she giggled.

"I am so sorry, but I just wanted to see how things were going. I called to see if you needed saving or anything." Willow questioned. "I mean just in case Mr. Prince Charming turned a little froggish.

Buffy rolled her eyes and smiling said, "Everything is actually going great. Willow this guy is perfect. But I can’t really talk about it now because he’s going to be back any minute." Buffy sighed and then said suddenly, "oh wait, did your Rocker call?"

She could hear her friend sputter over the line. "Oh my goodness Buffy!" She said excitedly, "He called! He wants me come and watch him play this coming weekend. I’ll tell you about it later, call me if it doesn’t get too late.

"Don’t worry, I won’t be out late. My Aunt Jenny needs me to watch Dawnie tonight" Buffy caught sight of Spike said abruptly, "I’ll call you when I get to my Aunt Jenny’s house, bye." Buffy looked up and smiled as he slid in close to her. He picked up her hand and kissed it softly. "That was my friend, Willow. She wanted to know if I needed rescuing from our date." At his confused look, she said, "Red. The ‘Homecoming Queen’ as you so aptly call her is Cordelia. And Red is Willow. And speaking of Cordelia, when I left her house this afternoon, your roommate was there." Buffy made a face that’s meaning was not lost on the bleached blond. He made a note to himself to speak to his flatmate, when he got home.

"Do you?" he asked putting Angel out of his mind. He was about to take a sip of his cold coffee and thought better of it and set if back down.

"Do I what? she asked coyly.

"Need rescuing," he answered running a finger slowly across her collarbone. Her breath caught in her throat and she shook her head slowly. Spike looked at her through hooded eyes and said, "You know Pet, you are going to be leaving me soon and I haven’t found out anything about you."

Buffy paused and took a deep breath trying to center herself. She carefully began to speak. "Well, I’m the only child of Hank and Joyce Summers. But, it’s just me and mom now, since my dad left," she said bitterly. She paused, thinking and then blurted, "I like to ice skate." She smiled and said sadly, "when I was little, I believed I was going to be the next Dorothy Hamill. The mood at the table changed when she added, "But with my parent’s divorce and then my mom and I moving out of LA, skating didn’t seem that important. Buffy’s voice trailed off as she remembered the feel of gliding over the ice.

"Do you ever skate now, Pet?" He asked tucking a lose strand of hair behind her ear.

Buffy unconsciously leaned into his hand and momentarily closed her eyes. Sighing she replied, "I haven’t picked up a skate in almost three years. I have bad feelings connected with it now. It was always something that was just me and my dad’s, you know? He would take me to the rink and sit in the stands and be my own personal cheerleader. I thought it was something special that we had but... I don’t know, I guess it really didn’t mean anything to him." Buffy sat quietly with her head down willing the tears to go away. Even though her father had been gone for a while now, it surprised her how fresh the pain was. "Do you skate?"

"God no. The only outdoor sport I learned in London was walking in fog." Buffy made a sound that fell somewhere in between a laugh and a sob and Spike said, "Hey Luv," he put his hand under her chin and gently raised her head. "We’ll have none of that now." A single tear escaped as he continued. "I fancy your father isn’t a very wise man. I could watch you forever. Hey let’s get out of here." He said to her softly. "I don’t know; take a walk under the night sky." He stood up and reached for her hand.

They spent the remainder of their time together walking hand in hand through downtown Sunnydale, Buffy played the impromptu tour guide while Spike stole kisses. Not another thought was given to wayward daddies or lost love.

Chapter 7

Buffy’s Aunt Jenny was an ER nurse for Sunnydale General, and occasionally she had to work a third shift. On those nights Buffy stayed with Dawn overnight and saw her off to school in the morning. As Buffy came rushing in the house, Jenny was pinning up her long raven hair. Buffy looked at her uncle’s widow with affection. When her uncle died unexpectedly last summer, it wasn’t really a surprise to anyone who knew the man. Ethan Raines was a brusque man, who lived a life that rarely included his estranged wife and young daughter. His, was a life full of lawless men committing lawless acts. When they found his body in the factory district, his family hadn’t seen him in months. Buffy didn’t really mourn her uncles death and she expected neither did her mom and Jenny for that matter, for he was a very brusque harsh man.

"I’m not late am I, Aunt Jen," Buffy wondered as she sat on the sofa. "Is Dawnie in bed already? I tried to get here earlier, so I could to see the little rug rat before she went to bed." Buffy got up off the couch and walked over to the kitchen. "What did you make for dinner, Aunt Jen?" Buffy stuck her head in the refrigerator. "Anything good? Ohh Pizza!"

Somebody’s a little hyped up tonight. Jenny replied following her into the kitchen. "It must be the double time, Huh?"

Buffy had unwrapped a slice of pizza and was placing it in the microwave when she turned. "The double time? Yeah, that’s it. I’m gonna be rolling in the big bucks tomorrow."

"Don’t get cheeky with me little girlie," Jenny said reaching on top of the refrigerator for a small object.

Buffy looked at her Aunt and frowning mouthed, "Cheeky?"

Jenny grabbed her car keys from the key ring and headed for the door. "I’ll be back at the usual time. I know it was last minute, so I appreciate your coming over. Dawnie really feels safe when you watch her. Here, she even made this for you in school today." Jenny handed her a small woven bracelet. Buffy looked down at the brightly colored piece of string and smiled. "There’s pancake mix already made in the refrigerator and chocolate chips in the Tupperware. She requested it for tomorrow morning."

Buffy grabbed the hot plate out of the microwave and quickly put it to the counter. "Ouch," she muttered putting her fingers in her mouth. "Well, I am going to eat this and go the bed. So I’ll be up early enough tomorrow. Oh I told Willow I’d call her." She added as a after thought. Buffy reached in a drawer and picked out a hand towel and small tray. She hummed absently as she set up her late meal. Silently Jenny watched her. She shrugged as she slipped on her light jacket.

"See you later, honey," Jenny called as she slipped out the door.

Buffy stood by the sink and watched through the window as Jen got in her car and drove off. She took out her phone and punched Willows number. After a moment Buffy said, "Hey, Wills it’s me". She picked up a pepperoni and popped it in her mouth. "So, spill." Buffy picked up the tray and walked upstairs to the guest room, the one that was hers when she stayed overnight. As she walked by Dawn’s bedroom, her eyes fell to the multi-colored bracelet on the tray. "Tell me about Oz. Is he a hottie?" Buffy sat on the bed and flicked the TV. She continued to nibble on the pizza. So he called eh? Tell me all about this Rocker dude." She settled in to listen to her friend.

"Well like I said before he’s nineteen, and he’s taking off a couple of years to tour some of the local colleges with his band. Their name is DAMB, something about babies and those Australia dogs." She paused momentarily and then continued, "they’re going to be in Sunnydale for just a month, which unfortunately started two weeks ago. But he’s taking me out tomorrow; we’re going to see that new foreign movie at the art house. So, ‘yeah me,’, I guess.

"You guess?" Buffy asked wiping her mouth on the towel. "Willow, this is so much more than ‘you guess’. All the girls he could have spoken to and asked out, you were the one he did. He likes you Wills," She finished softly.

"Well how do I know that he doesn’t have a girl in every city."

"You don’t Wills. Don’t go looking for the end before you go on your first date."

"Speaking of first dates."

Buffy played with the ruffle on the end of her pillow and smiled. "He is perfect. At first the date was not cool."

"What did he do?" she interrupted.

"Oh it wasn’t him," she quickly pointed out. "He was great. I’m the one that had a rough start. You’d think I’d never been on a date before! I was so nervous. First, I just sat there like an idiot, then I gave a 15 minute lecture on the wonders of cake. By the way, he bought me a piece of cake, I inhaled it. Then, I started talking about my dad."

"No."

"Yes. But you know what?" She paused. "He was fine with it. He kissed me and put his arms around me and I knew it was all right. He was all ‘Bugger this’ and ‘Pet that’ and, and he was perfect."

Spike stood in front of his bathroom mirror and studied his appearance. He absently noted that he had maybe a week before he needed to touch up his hair. Not for the first time he wondered about just letting the color grow out. Bleaching was hell on the scalp and the look was dated. Spike noticed the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. "You are getting old William," he whispered to himself. Spike picked up his toothbrush as Angel’s reflection appeared over his shoulder.

"You’re in early," Angel leaned against the door frame with a beer in his hand. He smiled good-natured as he continued " What, did she send you away from the table still hungry?"

Spike spat out the toothpaste and countered, "You’re in for the night too, you Git." He put his toiletries away and turned to leave the cramped space. Angel stepped aside and let him past. He followed Spike as he went downstairs and turned on the TV.

"Anyway, who says I’m in for the night. In case you were wondering."

"I’m not." Spike said never taking his eyes off the news.

"In case you’re wondering, I’m waiting for Candi to get out of work. Or maybe it’s Brandi, whatever." He leaned in and said confidentially, "I’ll just call her beautiful and everything will be fine." Angel smiled and put his finger to his temple.

"What about the cheerleader?" Spike asked turning to A&E.

"Who? Oh, the lovely Ms. Cordelia. I don’t think I’m going to call her again. I stopped by her house yesterday. It was perfect, nice empty house, big comfortable bed, and nothing. I like a challenge, but my God, she is impossible."

Spike turned his blue eyes to his roommate and smiling said, "So the mighty Angel gets taken down by a cheerleader." He realized that he was being childish, but it was fun to pick. He put down the remote and put his finger to his temple and said, "I think the big Poof is going soft. You know," Spike stood and walked around the back of Angel, "I was looking at the back of your head the other day and I thought your hair was getting a little thin." Angel’s hand shot to the back of his head. "Wasn’t your grandda bald."

"Enough Spike." Angel stood up and started out of the room. Now it was Spike’s turn to follow him. The two ended up in the kitchen.

"I’m just saying, there are a lot of very distinguished men with less than a full head of hair."

"William."

"But you know what I find? That when one doesn’t have a full head of hair, they are always called ‘distinguished’, never are they ‘hot’ Angel, I fear your days maybe numbered." Spike smiled as Angel left the house.

Chapter 8

"---6:30 time to make sure the kiddies are up and getting ready for school. This is Joan--"

"And Randy-"

"And we’re the ones playing the tunes--"

"And telling the jokes."

"This next song has been burning-----"

Buffy slapped her hand blindly at the radio as Joan and Randy on WHTT (Home Of The Hits!) did their morning routine. She groaned and turned over hoping that she heard the time wrong. One look at the clock however confirmed that it was time to get up. Buffy stood up and absently scratched her belly. As she made her way to the bathroom she passed a floor length mirror on the door. She cringed at her reflection, taking in the smeared eye makeup and total bed head. After taking a quick shower she started downstairs to begin breakfast. As she passed Dawn’s door she lightly knocked and stuck her head in. "Time to get up, Dawnie. Go to the bathroom and meet me downstairs for breakfast." Dawn mumbled something as she rolled over to peek at her cousin.

About 10 minutes later Dawn came running into the kitchen as Buffy was finishing up the small stack of pancakes. The kitchen was bathed in light and the smell of chocolate hung heavy in the air. Outside the kitchen window a couple of tiny hummingbirds darted back and forth. Buffy paused and watched the birds getting their morning meal and couldn’t help grinning. She was young, attractive and beginning a new relationship, life was good. Buffy looked down at the cherub face that watched her. When Buffy and Dawn’s eyes met Dawn flashed her an enormous gap-toothed smile. "Good morning Buffy," Dawn said sticking her tongue through the hole in her smile.

Buffy laughed heartily as she knelt down to her cousin’s level. "When did you lose those?" Buffy tucked a strand of Dawn’s long straight hair behind one of her ears. "Here, open up and let me see." Dawn opened her mouth wide and watched as Buffy appeared to be studying her teeth, or lack thereof very closely. Satisfied, Buffy nodded and stood up. "OK my examination shows that you in fact have enough teeth to still eat pancakes."

Dawn giggled as she sat at the table. "Did you get my present, Buffy?" She asked around a mouthful of chocolaty pancakes. Buffy silently pushed her sleeve up showing Dawn the bit of braided string around her wrist.

Buffy sat down in front of her pancakes (minus the chocolate chips thank you very much) and took a sip of her coffee. As the liquid warmed her mouth she thought momentarily of her date the night before. She shook her head slightly and focused on the little girl sitting in front of her. "Are you kidding? This is the finest piece of jewelry I own and with all the different colors, it goes with just about everything!" Dawn nodded her head in agreement. Buffy spooned a few apple slices on her pancakes and joined her cousin in breakfast.

After a few minutes Dawn said, "I made it in school with Will’um." She picked up her glass and drained the last of her milk.

"Will’um?" Buffy asked.

"No Will’um." Dawn said slowly.

"Oh, you mean William."

"Yeah, like I said....Will’um"

Buffy asked, "Is that your new teacher?"

Dawn took a bite of her pancakes and answered, "Yeah, he’s not young and pretty like Ms. Patty. His hair is all white and he wears funny glasses..... he’s way old. Sometimes I miss Ms. Patty but Will’um is nice, I guess."

"I remember my teacher from when I was your age. Her name was Mrs. Grace. She was really old, and mean too." Buffy stood up and slowly started walking towards Dawn. "She would come to school everyday on her broom." step "and her hair was green with bugs in it." step "and she gave us snacks like liver cookies," step "and Brussels sprout pie." Dawn giggled as Buffy stood over her. "And she made us wash dishes during recess!!" Buffy bent down and started tickling her and yelled, "Liver cookies! Liver cookies!" Both girls ended up on the floor laughing.

After Buffy saw Dawn off to school, she went back to lock up the house. As she was walking back to her car, her Aunt pulled into the drive. "Sorry Buffy." She handed Buffy a couple of bills that she slipped in her handbag. "There was this big accident involving a bus full of a woman’s hockey team from Canada. Thank God there where no causalities. But it was a mess. Right now I’m going to go in there and crawl into my bed and not open my eyes till Dawnie comes home." Jenny pushed her bangs out of her eyes and sighed.

Buffy looked at her aunt sympathetically as she opened her car door. "Well I won’t keep you. I’ll be late for school if I don’t leave now anyway." She slid in behind the wheel of her car and slipped on her shades. Buffy looked at her aunt and said, "I love you, I’ll talk to you later."

As the blue bug backed out of the drive Jenny's cell phone rang in her bag. She pulled it out of her work bag and smiled when she saw the name on the caller ID. "Good morning," she said, as she turned into the house.

Later that afternoon Willow and Cordelia sat on the lawn eating their lunch. "Hello Gorgeous," Xander came over and plopped down next to Willow and took a fry. Both women turned to him and answered, Cordelia raised an eyebrow at Willow. "How was your weekend ladies?" He reached over to take another fry from Willow and she slid her plate over to him.

A young man ran by going after a football. He paused and smiled warmly at the ladies. He bowed gallantly as Cordelia sat preening. Willow glance at her and said, "Well, we met a couple of really nice guys at that club Saturday."

"Well the Xanman wasn’t so lucky." Xander leaned back and sighed dramatically.

"Well as the former president of the ‘Isn’t Xander Cute Club’, I’d like to say that I’m shocked with a side order of appalled. I ask you, where have the standards gone." Xander whimpered and laid his head on her shoulder.

Cordelia laughed as she adjusted her sunglasses, and stole a look at the football guy. "You guys are just ridiculous." She shook out her long raven hair and again cut her eyes to the football guy. She pulled out her compact and did a quick spot check in it’s reflection. "I don’t know about you but my guy turned out to be a total frog. After you and Buffy left, I spent the whole evening trying to keep a piece of furniture between the both of us. That man has a lot of hand," she finished quietly. Cordelia looked across the courtyard as the football guy tossed the pig skin to one of his friends and started towards her. She smiled and stood up. "Ummm, I’ll see you guys later.

From a distance Buffy watched Cordelia make her way over to one of the guys who was throwing the football around moments before. She turned to look at Willow who was sitting with her back against a tree and a book in her hand. Xander’s head was in her lap and he watched Buffy approach. "If it isn’t my all time favorite Buffy."

Willow lightly bonked him on the top of his head and replied softly, "Like you know a hundred Buffies."

Buffy sat down next to Willow and pulled out her lunch. "So what happened with you and that old British guy?"

"What are you talking about." Buffy asked feigning ignorance. Willow and Buffy exchanged a fleeting look. They had decided that the less people that knew about this the better.

"You know, that blond guy at the bar Saturday. How did that work out for you?"

Buffy finished her diet pop and pulling out a sandwich said, "It didn’t. He tried to get me drunk and take me home with him. That wasn’t going to happen, so he went trolling after another girl." Buffy shrugged her shoulders and took a bite of her sandwich.

"Like I told Cordy and Willow, the Xan man got no action this weekend, again. I think it’s time for some clandestine action. I know, you can write something on the girls bathroom wall about me." Xander smiled at Willow and wiggled his eyebrows.

Buffy laughed. "Didn’t Willow do that last year?" She shook her head and continued, "Everybody knew you wrote it then, and they’ll know that you wrote it now."

Willow closed her book and sat up Indian style, "Not if I make it really naughty."

After lunch the afternoon classes seemed to drag. Buffy found herself watching the clock more than the teacher. It didn’t take him long to notice it either. "Am I keeping you from somewhere, Miss Summers?" Mr. Lyons asked dryly. "I mean, I can hurry it along if you’d like." Somewhere to her right she heard someone say, ‘please do’ followed by giggling. Buffy slouched low in her seat, her face red with embarrassment as Mr. Lyons continued with the lesson.

Buffy rolled her eyes heavenward when she heard her cell phone start to sing in her book bag. "I am so sorry," she began as she fumbled with her bag. "I got it," she said nervously as she pulled it out. "Turning it off now." Buffy smiled at Mr. Lyons, who now had his book closed and his hands on his hips.

"Now if Miss Summers wouldn’t mind, I’m going to try to finish this lesson before the bell rings." Mr. Lyons opened his book once more as Buffy stole one quick look at her caller ID. She felt her heart skip a beat when she recognized the name.

Buffy walked quickly to her car at the end of the school day. After Mr. Lyons class she checked her messages to find out what Spike had wanted. He had called to see if she wanted to meet him at the beach for a little sun and some dinner. After connecting with Willow about the cover story, she called Spike back to iron out the details. She didn’t even have to run home, because in her truck she carried ‘the bag’. Walk up to any true Cali girl, regardless of whether they be black or white, blond or brunette and they all carry some version of ‘the bag’. In Buffy’s was the essentials: sun block, towel, bottled water, and two swim suits. One for when she’s with her mom and one for when she’s, well not. It was just as vital as carrying water in the desert. Every girl Buffy knew had such a bag, difference being the suits.

Today was definitely a bikini day as Buffy glanced at her small white polka dot suit. She smiled thinking of what his reaction was going to be when she walked onto the beach in it. she hurriedly pinned up her hair and started the car.

Fifteen minutes later she pulled into the lot next to the sand. She heard the laughter of the many children running towards the water. She scanned the white sand looking for Spike when she heard a tap on her glass. Buffy looked up into Spike’s blue eyes and smiled. She rolled down her window and he said, "Hello Pet."

Buffy jumped out of the car and grabbed her beach bag. "Hi yourself,"She closed and locked the door to her car. "I need to get changed. Where are we going to sit." She adjusted her shades and took his hand.

"It doesn’t matter to me, where ever you decide, Luv. I hope you’re hungry, I packed us a nice cold dinner with some wine." He held up a bottle and met her eyes. Spike looked down at the small blond in front of him and not for the first time was unnerved by the depths of his feelings. All day his thoughts kept coming back to her. It was during afternoon nap that he was finally able to steal away and call her. He asked her to spent the evening with him watch the sunset at the beach. When she called back she had readily agreed. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

She colored slightly and said shyly, "I’ll be right back." He watched her small bottom as she walked away.

Spike hefted the basket and his blanket and waited for her on the sand. When Buffy emerged for the dressing area, he had two thoughts in quick succession. The first was how utterly beautiful she was and the pride of being the one on her arm, and the second was a fierce protectiveness. He immediately saw the interest of every male in the vicinity. The white material almost glowed in comparison to the golden sheen of her skin. The suit left little to the imagination but somehow she still managed to carry herself with class. Spike quickly walked to her side. Buffy saw Spike’s reaction to her suit and smiled internally.

Chapter 9

Buffy walked quickly to her car at the end of the school day. After Mr. Lyons class she checked her messages to find out what Spike had wanted. He had called to see if she wanted to meet him at the beach for alittle sun and some dinner. After connecting with Willow about the cover story, she called Spike back to iron out the details. She didn’t even have to run home, because in her truck she carried ‘the bag’. Walk up to any true Cali girl, regardless of whether they be black or white, blond or brunette and they all carry some version of ‘the bag’. In Buffy’s was the essentials: sun block, towel, bottled water, and two swim suits. One for when she’s with her mom and one for when she’s, well not. It was just as vital as carrying water in the desert. Every girl Buffy knew had such a bag, difference being the suits.

Today was definitely a bikini day as Buffy glanced at her small white polka dot suit. She smiled thinking of what his reaction was going to be when she walked onto the beach in it. She hurriedly pinned up her hair and started the car.

Fifteen minutes later she pulled into the lot next to the sand. She heard the laughter of the many children running towards the water. She scanned the white sand looking for Spike when she heard a tap on her glass. Buffy looked up into Spike’s blue eyes and smiled. She rolled down her window and he said, "Hello Pet."

Buffy jumped out of the car and grabbed her beach bag. "Hi yourself," She closed and locked the door to her car. "I need to get changed. Where are we going to sit." She adjusted her shades and took his hand.

"It doesn’t matter to me, where ever you decide, Luv. I hope you’re hungry, I packed us a nice cold dinner with some wine." He held up a bottle and met her eyes. Spike looked down at the small blond in front of him and not for the first time was unnerved by the depths of his feelings. All day his thoughts kept coming back to her. It was during afternoon nap that he was finally able to steal away and call her. He asked her to spend the evening with him watch the sunset at the beach. When she called back she had readily agreed. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

She colored slightly and said shyly, "I’ll be right back." He watched her small bottom as she walked away.

Spike hefted the basket and his blanket and waited for her on the sand. When Buffy emerged for the dressing area, he had two thoughts in quick succession. The first was how utterly beautiful she was and the pride of being the one on her arm, and the second was a fierce protectiveness. He immediately saw the interest of every male in the vicinity. The white material almost glowed in comparison to the golden sheen of her skin. The suit left little to the imagination but somehow she still managed to carry herself with class. Spike quickly walked to her side. Buffy saw Spike’s reaction to her suit and she knew she made the right choice. She bounced back over to her car, depositing her clothes and valuables before making her way over to him. She took the blanket from him and once again grasped his hand. They started walking through the late afternoon crowd. "How was school?" he asked.

"It was fine. You know math and sciency things. Nothing interesting." Her heart started racing as it did every time they started talking about her personal life. It was a land mine she knew. "It’s a beautiful afternoon let’s not talk about school. I hate talking about classes. How about over there?" She asked suddenly pointing to a small piece of beach that was set apart.

"Well Pet," he paused and scanned the landscape. "I do believe that is a private beach." he tried to continue walking when he felt Buffy pull against him.

"So what," she said in a staged whispered. "It’s so nice and I’d hate to see that beautiful view be wasted. Besides, what’s the worst that can happen?" She smiled and gave him a quick kiss. He reluctantly allowed her to lead him to the private beach. "That’s true," he laughed. "Besides, we can have a little privacy." He wiggled his brow at her and she playfully slapped his arm.

When they were satisfied that they found a place where they wouldn’t be readily spotted from the house on the cliff, they set up the blanket. Buffy sat down and immediately started digging in the basket. Spike sat down next to her and smiled at her excitement . "Ooohhh turkey." She was about to put a small piece in her mouth when she glanced up at Spike’s amused face. "So I like to eat." Buffy said grinning.

Spike laughing, pulled her to him and kissed her. Buffy dropped the sandwich and snaked her fingers through his hair. Spike nibbled on her bottom lip and she pressed her body closer to his. His hands skimmed lightly over her body and came to rest on the small of her back.

"Mommy, Mommy look!" Buffy broke away from Spike and turned to see a brown skinned boy of about five staring at them. He smiled slyly at them and stated, "You were kissing."

Buffy felt her face burn as the little boy’s mother grab his hand and pulled him away. When they were out of view she buried her face in his chest "Two days, it’s official. You have corrupted me." Buffy peeked up into his face and tenderly ran her finger across his brow. "Now it’s your turn. Tell me about you. I don’t even know your last name. She leaned back suddenly saying, "You’ve been sticking your tongue down my throat, and I don’t even know your last name. I’m a scanky ho.

"Oi Luv, there will be no talk like that." He nuzzled her neck, "If we’re moving fast, it’s because we both feel it Pet." He stopped and turning serious said, "It’s been awhile since I’ve felt this strongly about anyone, since I even wanted to. The last time I gave someone my heart it ended badly. So badly in fact, I had to leave the bloody country." Buffy furrowed her brow about to speak when he continued softly, "I was ready for a change, Pet. I thought the change would be marriage but," he trailed off. Giving a self-conscious shrug he continued, "Besides, I’m glad I hopped the pond. Otherwise I would have never met you." He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips and leered. "Now how about we work ourselves up an appetite? I mean that is what we’re here for innit?"

"What did you have in mind?" she responded coyly.

"Ohh I don’t know. Maybe a little of this," he kissed her fingertips. "And a little of that," he leaned over and kissed her neck, "and this of course." he added hoarsely as he kissed her jaw, "and we can’t forget." He captured her mouth once again.

"Mom they’re doing it again." Buffy again turned to find herself looking at the little brown skinned boy. This time he had an older girl with him. I told you, Katelyn. They were kissing."

The little girl smiled shyly at Buffy and said, "You’re pretty." Buffy returned the smile as Spike growled next to her, "So much for bleeding privacy." he muttered.

Buffy slapped at him playfully and said "Katelyn, is it?" The little girl nodded. "What’s your friend’s name?"

"He’s not my friend; he’s my little brother, Ben." Katelyn giggled and said, "He said that there were two people kissing over here."

"Yeah," Ben added. "My mom said that you’re ‘posta kiss at home, not at the beach."

"Yes, right, you see Ben, normally your mother is spot on. There are however, the occasional exception."

"Exception?" Katelyn asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Right, exceptions." Buffy said. "I’m not sure what exception, but I know we are two of them." There was a pause, where the kids stared at Buffy and Spike. Then Buffy asked, "Wanna grape?"

Katelyn turned to Ben, who shrugged his shoulders and said, "Sure." As the kids popped the green grapes in their mouth, Spike reached out to grasp Buffy’s hand.

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked reaching into her bag. "Can you put sun block in my back and shoulders. I could do it myself but I think it would be a lot more fun if you did it." Buffy was about to hand Spike the bottle when a little bit of string fell on the blanket.

Katelyn picked up the woven bracelet, "Did you make this?" She turned it over. "I made one in school too." She paused and looked up at Buffy. "You didn’t do that great a job on yours."

"I made some with my kids last week," Spike said frowning as he took the bracelet from Katelyn. "I think it’s quite fetching, actually."

Buffy laughed," I didn’t make it. That was a gift and I think it’s beautiful." She took the bracelet and put in back in her bag.

"Katelyn! Bennett! Get over here right now!" Both children stood up quickly and scurried towards their mother. Bennett dropped a handful of grapes as his mother grabbed his arm and dragged him and his sister back to their blanket.

Spike turned to Buffy with a devilish grin and asked, "Now where were we?" Buffy thrust the sun block in his chest with out saying a word. "You’re a cheeky one." He opened the top and poured a little on her shoulders. Spike looked longingly at her smooth column of neck and sighed. He leaned in a placed a kiss on her pulse point.

"Hey, you! Hands only. We obviously have an audience." Buffy turned to look at him momentary. "Hey, you know what’s weird? My aunt called me cheeky last night."

"What’s so weird about that?" he asked tuning her so that her back was towards him. He started rubbing in the sun block.

"Well first off, isn’t cheeky one of those bugger, pip pip English words. And my aunt was born in Montana." Buffy picked up the grapes and popped one in her mouth. She reached over her shoulder and put a few of them in Spike’s mouth.

Well that’s a no brainer, she shagging an Englishman."

Chapter 10

A seagull swooped down and landed a few feet from the blanket. Buffy watched the large white bird as he paced back and forth, begging for a snack. "Don’t be ridiculous." She turned back towards Spike and waved dismissively "My aunt is not dating anyone. I would know if my aunt was dating someone I mean she is my aunt." She absently ran her fingers up his forearm and studied him. "And by the way, shagging? Who are you, Austin Powers?"

"Yeah baby," he murmured.

Buffy rolled her eyes as she lay down on the blanket. Spike’s eyes roamed slowly over her lithe form. His eyes drinking in her flat stomach, tawny skin, and small pert breasts. He was amazed at her natural although not perfect beauty. Her flaws only added to her good looks as far as he was concerned. Looking at Buffy was like looking at fat grand babies and white picket fences, and he was fine with that.

Buffy peeked over at him and asked grinning, "What?"

I’m thinking that I’m a right lucky bloke, is all," he answered soberly. Buffy felt the warmth as her skin flushed under his intense gaze. Sensing her unease he continued, "And of course, that you look delicious in that bit of material." Buffy visibly relaxed and when her eyes closed once more, he continued his study of her. With the radio playing softly and the others on the beach so far away, it was like they were the only two people on the beach... or for that matter, in the world. He pulled off his shirt. "Can you put this in your bag for me? I don’t want to put it in with the food."

Buffy sat up opening her eyes. "Whoa! Thank goodness I have shades on! When was the last time you even saw the sun.

Spike looked down sheepishly at his chest and shrugged. "You are aware I was raised in London, right?"

"Yeah," she sat up and wrapped her arms around her legs. "But you moved to California! I can’t believe you been here this long and you’re still holding on to your London tan. If we weren’t sitting in the sun I would think that you were like a vampire or something. Spike, the sun is our friend." She reached into her bag and pulled out a small brown bottle. "Lay down on your stomach." She poured a generous amount of liquid on his back and began to knead it into his flesh. As her hands worked his muscles she started humming along to a song on the radio. She had to admit that she was impressed with his body, even as white as it was. Once he got some color to him he was going to be irresistible. Spike laid on the blanket in utter bliss. Her hands started on a downward trail that ended at the waistband of his shorts. As she oiled his lower back she felt a purr rumble in his chest. "Are you growling at me?" she asked incredulously.

"No, that would be weird."

"Then what was that?" she asked laughing. Her hands stopped as she waited for him to answer.

Spike sighed and rolled over, propping himself up on his elbows. "I have no idea what you are talking about, that’s my story and I will be sticking to it." He looked down at his chest and biting his bottom lip asked, "Now pet, what about my front."

Buffy sputtered as she toyed with the top of the bottle in her hand. click, click. click, click.

Just as Spike was going to let her off the hook, she stopped and smiled brazenly at him. click. She poured the amber liquid on his chest and watched it hungrily as it ran down his stomach. "Lay down," she pushed him over and straddled his waist. She reached down between their bodies and started kneaded his chest, never breaking eye contact. She suddenly stopped and placing her hands on either side of his head rolled her body down on his. Her eyes never left his as Buffy felt his stomach muscles contract as she slid ever so slightly up and down his body. She made use of the coating of oil to effectively lubricate the slow sensual motion. Buffy reached down and began gently worrying at his bottom lip and she felt his body shudder beneath hers as his eyes rolled back in his head.

His arms encircled her tiny waist as he rolled their bodies over. Buffy’s squeals were cut off as Spike’s mouth descended upon hers. She readily opened hers to accept his tongue. He tasted of whiskey and smoke and danger. She moaned into his mouth as waves of pleasure rolled through her stomach. They continued kissing, neither one wanting to be the first to stop.

"Do you two mind?" Buffy’s eyes shot open as she looked up into the disapproving face of Katelyn and Bennett’s mother. "This is a family beach. Get a room or better yet, you two need to go to church!" Katelyn peeked around her mother’s hips, eyes wide.

Buffy felt her stomach flip and her ears burn as she pushed Spike off of her. All around them she saw clusters of people whispering and looking at the pair. Suddenly the smells of the oil were overwhelming. She felt her stomach roll and the hair stand up on her arms. "I think I’m going to be sick," she whispered.

Spike looked at her concerned, knowing she spoke but not sure of what she said. Soon an older man joined them on the sand. "Excuse me but this is a private beach."

"You should have seen what they were about to do on your private beach," Katelyn and Bennett’s mom sneered.

Spike stood up, eyes flashing dangerously. "Sod off, you mousy old..."

"What did you just say to me?" she asked eyes narrowing.

"You really need to gather up your things and move to the public beach"

"I think I’m going to be sick." she whispered still sitting down. She looked up at them arguing and felt her stomach roll again. Her eyes began to water when she saw Katelyn take a nervous step away from the adults and Bennett stick his thumb in his mouth. "Oh my God." she said as she rolled over and threw up in the sand. Spike dropped down next to her to see if she was all right and that is when the tears began. She was so embarrassed that she just wanted to die. Firstly for the almost X-rated make-out session, then puking after only a couple of glasses of wine. But more then anything, she was embarrassed because this was the worst attempt at playing grown up that she had ever seen. The fact that it was her doing the acting only added insult to injury. She really thought she would be able to do this. And it made her stomach flip to realize that she wasn’t as sophisticated as she believed. She gave a watery cry.

"Is she all right:" she heard the older man ask. "Should I call somebody?"

Spike sighed after attempting to get her to look at him. "I think she’s all right, it seems to be a bad combination of alcohol and heat." At the word heat, Buffy’s cheeks burned, and there was a sharp intake of breathe. She turned her large eyes towards him and he felt her heart skip. She looked so unhappy with tears brimming in her eyes about to fall again. He touched her brow gently.

"Well now that everything’s settled, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Like I said, this is a private beach." Spike turned hard blue eyes to the gentleman, effectively cutting him off. The color drained from his face as he took a step back. "That is, when the young lady is able of course," he added meekly. He turned and hurried up to his house.

Spike stood up turning towards the children’s mother, "Mrs....." he began.

"Jamison."

"Mrs. Jamison. I would like to apologize for my behavior. It was inappropriate, instead of listening to your words, I let myself get defensive." He turned to Katelyn and Bennett saying, "you lil’ bits have a wonderful mum who cares very much for you both.

Bennett popped his thumb out of his mouth and said quietly, "Thanks for the grapes."

Spike knelt down and started putting their things away. Buffy, quietly listening kicked sand over her mess. "You are quite welcome, Ben my boy. And next time." He stood and shook out the blanket. "Buffy and I will keep the kissing at home."

Mrs. Jamison mouthed, "Thank you." After a moment she added, "I still think you two need to go to church."

Spike put his arm around Buffy’s waist and gave her a tender hug. She buried her face into his shoulder as he chuckled with Mrs. Jamison. Spike looked down at the lovely woman in his arms and said, "I think it’s time for us to get going. Bennett. Katelyn. Mrs. Jamison, it was, er… an interesting afternoon."

Once they got to the parking lot Buffy broke away from Spike and hurried to her car. She hadn’t said a work the whole way back and Spike was starting to get concerned. "It’s still early Pet. You want to see a movie or maybe get a bite... well maybe not get a bite to eat. But we could.... I don’t know. Oh bugger it." He reached over and took her hands into his. "This is not how I envisioned this evening, Luv."

Buffy felt her lip quiver and her tired eyes filled once again. "I know." She moaned as she ran her hands through her hair. "This has been a terrible afternoon."

Spike furrowed his brow. "Well I don’t know if I’d say that. This day has had its high points. Besides, one day this afternoon will be the stuff of legends "He looked at her, a smile playing on his lips. He ran his fingers along the side of her face. "You are a special woman, Buffy Summers."

Chapter 11

Despite their rocky start and Buffy’s constant fear of being found out, their relationship flourished. And as with most new relationships, Buffy found most of her time was being spent with Spike. With Willow in a committed relationship and Cordelia kinda with Angel, they found that girl time was seriously lacking. So one sunny Sunday afternoon the trio made a point of spending some much needed time catching up with one another.

They went shopping.

Cordelia had spent most of the morning complaining about her on again off again boy toy Angel. At the present moment they were most definitely off. While Cordelia was out on a date with a Pre-Med. student named Doyle last weekend, she ran into Angel who was with Candi? Brandi? In any event, after the police were called and Candi/Brandi agreed not to press charges against Cordelia, the two brunettes were no longer speaking to each another. That, however, didn’t stop Cordelia from talking about Angel obsessively, even though she was still technically dating Doyle. One minute she was expounding on the virtues of being a doctors wife, the next she’d be standing in front of a rack of leather coats with tears in her eyes. Spike confided in Buffy one evening at a sushi bar that Angel was going through the ladies double time at the moment. The whole thing would be laughable if they weren’t perfect for each other.

"So what are you and Doctor Doyle doing tonight?" Willow asked in an attempt to break up the constant Angel bashing.

"We are not doing anything tonight, Doyle has a couple of big exams coming up before he goes back to Ireland for a visit." She sighed, dramatically running her fingers through a rack of twenty-percent-off silk blouses."And I asked you guys to stop calling him that. It makes him sound short," she finished meekly.

"Being short makes him short, Cordy." Buffy said picking up a hot pink message tee (I’m the new Mrs. Pitt!). "And wait till that hair line begins to go. Woo hoo." She put the tee back on the rack and turned to Cordelia. "But that doesn’t matter, right Cordy. As long as he’s rich and successful, what’s a hair plug or two." She smiled sweetly at the tall brunette. "It’s not like you care about things like, oh lets say, soulful brown eyes, or a big strong chest.

"And don’t forget that devil may care smile," Willows added.

"Yeah, the smile. Oh but that’s not something Cordelia would care about, right?"

"Umm, sure Buffy," she said with a far away look in her eye. Who cares about stuff like that. Besides, Doyle had brown eyes too. And Ohh the accent! He has a wickedly cool accent. He’s Irish...100%."

"Angel O’Farrell, hello," Willow said under her breath.

"Willow!" Cordelia grabbed a handful of blouses and stomped over to the dressing room, followed closely by a salesgirl. Once she was out of earshot, Buffy and Willow started laughing.

"You know that was very mean." Willow whispered outside the dressing room.

"I know, but you have to admit it’s so much fun. But sometimes it’s like shooting something in a barrel. An overly dress crab or you know---something. But we’ll pay for it for the rest of the afternoon."

"Yeah, because everybody knows the bitchy Cordelia is always the bell of the ball." Willow sat down heavily on the chair.

"You know what we have to do?" Buffy asked sitting down next to her.

"Go over to the multiplex to watch the new Michael Meyers comedy before she comes out?"

"No. I hate to admit it, but we have to get her and Angel back together.

Willow looked sharply at Buffy. "But Buffy, we don’t like Angel. Uhh do we like him now?" Angel had proven himself to be a jerk on more than one occasion in Willow’s opinion. He was conceited and egotistical and honestly thought he was God’s gift to women. However, despite his shortcomings both Buffy and Willow knew that Cordelia adorned him. It was a sight to see them together with the bickering and the pouting. Somehow he had wormed his way into her heart. The mighty Cordelia has been bested by the lowly school teacher, well not so much lowly as hot, more like the hot school teacher. Somewhere in hell Hitler was trying on ice skates.

"No, we don’t like him," she sighed heavily before continuing, "but Cordy does." Buffy held a green shirt in front of Willow. The redhead screwed up her nose and shook her head after her eyes glanced down at the price tag. "As much as it pains me to admit, they are good for each other. They were actually forcing each other to grow up. To see that it’s not all about them. And until we get those two back together I think it’s going to be raining every day in Cordy land."

"But, Buffy," Willow whined, "He’s n-not faithful, he’s boorish, vulgar and a complete poop head."

"I know, I know. But it is Cordy we’re talking about." Buffy looked over her shoulder as a haggard woman hurried out of the dressing room with an arm full of clothes. "I guess those didn’t fit Her Highness." The woman marched purposely back to the dressing room carrying a dozen new articles of clothing. "Come on let’s save that poor salesgirl," she leaned in and whispered, "besides if we don’t we’ll be sitting here looking at those awful pictures over there for the rest of the afternoon."

The two girls walked into the dressing room to the sound of Cordelia yelling and tossing clothes over the door. If Buffy wasn’t mistaken it also sounded like she had been crying. She turned to look at Willow’s startled face, realizing that she’d heard it too. Buffy pulled out her cell phone, and turning away punched in a number.

Willow stammered to Cordelia through the door. "I’m s-sorry Cordy. I won’t call Doctor Doyle umm Doctor Doyle again. But hey he’s just so very doctory and that’s good, right? He’s just what the umm doctor ordered. And I know that it sounds like I’m still teasing but that’s actually just my mouth running. See? I can’t stop," she turned to the older woman who was hanging up a blue blouse and pretending not to listen. "I kinda get runny at the mouth and I rant."

Cordelia opened the door to her dressing room suddenly saying, "shut up Willow."

"Thank you. I’m shutting up now." she smiled weakly at the pinched older woman’s face. Willow turned back to Cordelia and quietly asked, "Are you all right, I thought, that is Buffy and I thought we heard you crying."

Cordelia paused for a moment and held up a black dress giving Willow a watery smile. "I’m fine. Look at me, why wouldn’t I be fine. So what if Angel is anything but an angel. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I have my doctor, I have my youth and my incredible beauty." She put the black dress in the salesgirl arms and turned to Willow before continuing. If anyone should be fine, it’s me." Cordelia reached into her bag and handed the salesgirl a gold card.

Buffy walked back to her friends saying, "We should go out somewhere so you can wear that new dress of yours. And I have just the place."

Chapter 12

Angel sat sullenly tapping on the dash of the car. Spike had more then once asked him to stop but Angel just ignored him. Ever since he and the Homecoming Queen had broken up, already difficult, Angel had slipped smoothly into impossible. Even with a string of gorgeous women he was surly to be around. Because of the mood in the house, Spike had been spending almost every night with Buffy. The more time Spike spent with Buffy the darker Angel’s mood got. When Buffy called earlier Spike was just heading out of the house for a run around the park. At first Spike hadn’t wanted to get involved with his flat mate’s complicated love life, but then it became apparent that Angel’s love life had long since taken the first swing. After speaking briefly to his girlfriend the two came up with a plan.

Spike had knocked on Angel’s door and after not getting a response, pushed it open slightly. The lights were off in the room, the air still. The setting sun bathed the room in a glow that was hauntingly ethereal, however seeing his flatmate on top of his blanket laid out like a dead man in a suit, made Spike momentarily wanted to throttle him. Spike suppressed the urge and said, "Oi Mate, how about we get some fish and chips down at the pier?" He made a point of ignoring the theatrics of his friend and waited for his response. Spike knew that Angel wasn’t asleep and for a second thought that he wasn’t going to answer him. When he did Spike rolled his eyes.

"What?" Angel sneered "Is Buffy busy tonight?"

Spike sighed and pinching the bridge of his nose, pictured a certain blond goddess. "You are acting like one of my kids, Peaches. Sure you cocked it up royally, but all this brooding is just ridiculous. Either call the lady or get over it. Now take off that absurd suit," he paused and rubbing his taut stomach continued on, "I’m feeling a mite peckish." Spike smiled and leaned in the doorway.

Angel had watched quietly as Spike ranted. When he was done Angel stood up and sighed, "Give me ten minutes." And although it was closer to twenty, at least he was out of that funeral suit. So here the two bachelors sat at a light, Spike trying not to break Angel’s tap-tap-tapping fingers. "If I let you in on a little secret, will you stop doing that?" Spike said dropping his eyes momentarily to Angel’s hands.

"Depends," Angel responded suspiciously.

As they turned onto the road to the restaurant, Spike said, "Buffy is going to be there with her friends. You can either work with our plans or catch a cab home because I’m not taking you home." He smiled at Angel, "like I said I’m feeling peckish myself. I think you’ll buy me a lobster tonight."

"I’m not buying you anything Spike," Angel deadpanned.

"Just think how it will look to the bird if you pick up an expensive check. You know her head will turn at you tossing that kind of money around."

Angel paused and turning to Spike asked, "The whole check--even Willow?"

"I image her little green haired bloke will be there too," Spike said turning into the parking lot.

Angel sighed and pulling out his wallet he began to count his cash. "I hope this isn’t just your way to get out of paying for a meal Spike," he murmured.

Spike pulled his monster car into a parking space and left that statement to hang in the air.

When the two gentlemen walked into the restaurant, Spike caught sight of the three lovely ladies due in part to Oz’s unique hair color. As Spike headed over to the table Angel grabbed his upper arm. "Wait a minute. Does she know I’m coming to dinner with you?"

Spike looked down at Angel’s fingers and shaking them off said, "Of course not."

Angel stood and watched Spike as he calmly made his way to the table. Spike leaned over a placed a tender kiss on Buffy’s forehead. The last time Angel saw Cordelia in person she was on the arm of that little Mick from the old country, and he, well he was waist deep in blondes and silicone. Surprisingly, it wasn’t the fantasy that he had hoped the meeting of the two women would be. And having witnessed the whole scene causing confrontation, he wasn’t sure meeting her with knives so readily at hand was the best idea. Angel’s gaze swept the group as he searched out his raven haired princess. She had been talking intently with Willow. Cordelia threw her head back with a hearty laugh just as Spike came to stand at the table. She frowned slightly and followed Spike’s pointed fingers. He never wanted to hurt someone more then he wanted to hurt Spike at that moment, as Angel watch him smirking in his direction. Angel felt a burning desire to go sit in the car.

Then she smiled.

The breath he wasn’t aware he was holding whooshed out of his mouth as he ran his hand though his hair. Angel made his way over to the table, never taking his eyes off of Cordelia. She got up and stood slightly away from the table. As she waited with her hands on her hips, he quickened his steps. Suddenly in front of him appeared a statuesque brunette in a low cut dress, her impressive bosom barely contained within the top. "’ello Angel! Are you, how do you say, out on the town? Come ‘ere!" She leaned in and gave him an exaggerated kiss on each cheek. Angel looked over her shoulder and gave Cordelia a panicked looked. Cordelia stared incredulously at them for a moment. Spike had his arms casually draped around his girlfriend and he gave Angel a thumbs up. Cordelia made her way over to the embracing couple, pulling her earrings off as she did.

Angel back-pedaled as he detached himself from the well-developed Italian. "Whoa, Cordy! It’s not what you think!" He made a show of raising his hands and smiling innocently. "This is Ilona. She is a co-worker of mine... of Spike’s." He turned back to the table and waved Spike over. Angel could see that Spike was enjoying this a little too much, as he sauntered over to the group.

"Hello, gorgeous." Spike leaned over and gave her a quick squeeze.

"Ello, darling." She placed a familiar hand on his arm and absently ran it up and down.

"Come stanno i vostri genitori? ll medico sta godendo la sua pensione?"* Spike asked.

He smiled and cut his eyes over to Angel, who had an unreadable look on his face.

"Tu sai com e. Insiste ancora ofermasi per vedere vecchi nel vllaggio." She paused and followed Spike’s gaze, smiling knowingly "Ora William, tu sai che lui ofia quando facciamo questo."

"Ecco perche e divertente."

She leaned in and whispered, "Un giorno capira la parola pesca e sapra che non stiamo dicendo nulla di importante."

He looked over at his confused flatmate and shaking his head say under his breath, "My goodness. I bloody well hope not."

Ilona threw her head back with a throaty laugh. She leaned toward Spike holding him against her full body. At the table Willow grabbed Buffy’s arm looking pointedly towards the rest of their dinner party. Buffy turned just in time to see the walking cleavage grab her boyfriend in an intimate embrace. Catching his girlfriend’s eye, Spike waved her over to them.

The woman slowly turned towards the blond as she made her way over to them. She leaned in to Spike and said, "Ahh, William is that your Boofy? She is quite young, no?" Ilona’s eyes narrowed and a small smile played on her lips.

Spike held his hand out as Buffy slipped in next to him. She wrapped her arm around his waist and planted a kiss on his cheek. Spike realized there was an unspoken conversation going on and tried to hide his pleasure. "Buffy, this is Ilona. She is the Italian teacher at our school." He squeezed Buffy and after kissing her again continued, "Ilona this is Buffy."

Ilona cleared her throat and said, "Boofy." She held out her hand, "I ‘eard so much about you; about both f you." She leaned over and kissed Buffy soundly on both cheeks. Ilona turned towards Cordelia and before she could stop her, Ilona did the same to her. "’ello Cordelia. My goodness, you ladies are both so young!"

"How long have you been a teacher, Ilona?" Cordelia asked sweetly. "Fifteen, twenty years?"

Angel coughed suddenly as he grabbed his girlfriend’s arm." Excuse us," he murmured as he pulled her to the table. "Nice talkin’ to ya Ilona. I’ll see you tomorrow." he called over his shoulder.

"Are you meeting anyone, Pet?"

Buffy cleared her throat, "Err, Ilona. You’re not dining alone this evening?"

"Do not worry about me. I am just waiting for my sister. She should be ‘ere soon."

"Well it was so nice to meet you, Boofy. I ‘ope you will make our William very ‘appy." Ilona winked knowingly at Buffy as she stepped away from the couple.

Buffy pulled Spike towards the door. As they stepped out into the night air, she cut her eyes over her shoulder. Spike caught the look and smiling said, "What’s the problem Pet?"

She stopped so suddenly that Spike walked into her. While he was pressed up against her back he took advantage by running his hands across her stomach and whispered in her ear. "Is it because I called the Italian Bird, Pet?" He nipped at her neck and Buffy leaned back into him. "Does it get your panties in a knot?" Buffy trembled as he ran his fingers lightly under the waistband of her skirt.

Buffy spun around and he captured her lips in his as she ran her fingers under his shirt. Her knees weakened as he lightly bit her bottom lip. Spike pulled away from her and said, "I think I like it when you get all possessive and such, Luv." Buffy quivered as she felt his breath tickled her ear. "It gets me all tingly in my nether regions."

"Just shut up and kiss me."

"I have a better idea, let’s get out of here, Luv," his voice thick with lust.

Buffy abruptly pulled away and the mood instantly chilled. "I can’t," she responded.

He stopped and stepped away. Spike pinched the bridge of his nose and lowered his head searching for his center. He counted to ten in his head. "Why Buffy?" He asked exasperated. "What’s your reason now?"

Buffy looked up at him with unshed tears standing in her eyes, and her bottom lip trembling. In the back of her mind she knew she was falling into the waters of manipulation but hey whatever works right?

Spike clenched his jaw watching Buffy try to rein in her emotions. She wrapped her arms around herself and started to turn away. He reached out to stop her. "Hey, sorry, Pet. Sometimes I cock things up." He stopped realizing what he said, "Oi, poor choice of words huh?" He smiled at her sadly and put his hands on her shoulders lowering his voice he said, "You have to understand Pet, a man’s got his needs." She refused to meet his eyes and he sighed, pulling her into an embrace. "But I’ll wait Buffy. However long you need, I’ll wait." He felt her relax in his arms. "You go back inside to your mates. I’m going to have a cigarette. I’ll be in in a minute. Buffy opened her mouth to speak and thinking better of it just nodded and hurried back inside.

Ilona materialized out of the shadows. She crossed her hands under her ample chest watching the Englishman draw deeply on his Marlboro. "She is young, no?"

He turned and looked at Ilona, "Honestly I never thought of 22 as being all that young, myself." Ilona arched a perfectly shaped brow at him but Spike had dropped his cigarette, and missed it. "I should be getting back inside. And I apologize for the ladies."

She waved her hand dismissively. "It is nothing, William." She smiled coyly, "Women and Ilona, they do not always see eye to eye." She watched quietly as he went back into the restaurant.







**translation from above. forgive me if it isn’t perfect.**

"How are you parent’s doing? Is the doctor enjoying his retirement?" Spike asked. He smiled and cut his eyes over to Angel who had an unreadable look on his face.

"You know how he is. He still insist on stopping in to see some of the older ones in the village." She paused and followed Spike’s gaze, smiling knowingly "Now William, you know he hates when we do this."

"And that’s why it’s fun.

"She leaned in and whispered, "One day he’s going to figure out that we’re not saying anything important."

Chapter 13

Whistling an anonymous tune Spike made his way back to the table. He absently noticed the gentlemen were sitting quietly by themselves, but it wasn’t until he saw their faces that he whispered, "Oh bugger."

"I guess it’s your turn to be the ass," Angel said, smiling devilishly. "Now you can be the bad guy for once." He caught the waiter’s attention and called him over. "Oz, I’m feeling lucky tonight. Which in turn, makes me feel generous. Order what you want, I’ve got the bill."

Oz quirked an eyebrow and simply said, "Cool."

Spike sat down heavily asking, "What did she say?"

Angel’s dark mood had lightened considerably as he almost danced in his chair. "You know William, that’s the funny part. She didn’t say anything. She just walked over to the table and Cordy and Willow jumped up and ushered her to the ladies room." He stopped and dabbed his eyes with his napkin. "The poor thing was in tears."

Spike pulled out his lighter and started clicking it open and closed. "I screwed up mate. Tried to cut out and take her to my place."

"And how’d that work out for ya, mate?" Angel asked laughing. At Spikes dark look, he softened. "Hey, she’ll get over it. That chick is crazy about you." The waiter returned with their order and after Angel raised his glass saying, "Cheers" the gentlemen drank in silence.

In the bathroom Buffy sat on the loveseat wiping her nose. Willow rung her hands and again said "Buffy you have to tell him. This has gone on long enough. At least if you tell him, he’ll understand why you don’t want to have sex with him."

Buffy averted her eyes and started shredding her tissue into tiny bits. She was unable to tell them that despite what Willow thought, she did want to have sex with Spike. That she laid in her bed at night and thought of nothing else. That it was all she could do to not rip his clothes off and lick him from head to toe. When she’d dated Riley last year he’d tried on numerous occasions to get into Buffy’s pants. And although she liked him, had even believed she loved him at the time, she didn’t understand passion until she met Spike.

"Oh, just have sex with him and get it over with already." Cordelia said, fixing her makeup in the mirror. "I think the problem our Buffy is having, is that she wants him." Cordelia caught Buffy’s eye in the mirror and smiled triumphantly. She spun around and marched over to Buffy. "Why you little slut! You do want to have sex with him." Cordelia giggled and Buffy slapped her hand.

Buffy relaxed, happy that it was finally out in the open. She stated matter-of-factly, "It is the next step in a healthy relationship."

"You’re gonna do it Buffy?" Willow whispered.

"Not tonight on the table," she answered, laughing at Willow’s expression. "But yes, I am. I love him Willow and I’m going to show him how much."

Willow thought being honest with him about her age would have been a better way to show him she cared. However she just smiled and kept her mouth shut. "We better get back out to the guys. All this talk of sex, I’m feeling the need to kiss my snuggle bunny."

"Yes, I want to get back to Angel too. Believe it or not, I actually kinda missed him," Cordelia said. Buffy and Willow looked at one another and laughed.

The three women left the bathroom and headed towards the table. Buffy looked down and realized that she didn’t have her purse. "You guys go on ahead, I left my handbag in the bathroom." She turned to hurry back before someone else found it. She opened the door to see that someone had in fact found it first. Standing in the middle of the bathroom with Buffy’s wallet open stood Ilona. She looked up and seeing who it was she gave Buffy a cool smile.

"Ahh Boofy! This is yours, no? It was on the leetle table next to the couch." Ilona put the wallet back in the bag. "I was just trying to see who it belongs to." She handed it to Buffy. Buffy started to turn, but was stopped by Ilona’s voice. "Boofy, I know you are very young. William is how do you say? In the dark, no?" She put her hand lightly on Buffy shoulder. "’ow long do you think you can keep up this charade, Bella?"

Buffy shook off her hand and replied, "Longer than you can keep up that fake accent, sweetheart." Buffy closed the door and made her way over to her boyfriend. Buffy sat down next to Spike and grabbed his hand. While the others were ordering their dinner she leaned in close and whispered in his ear, "I’m sorry about what happened. Thank you for being so patient with me. All I can say is it will be worth the wait." Spike brought her closer and rested his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and cupped her face tenderly. I love everything about this woman, he thought suddenly.

And what will you be having, Miss?" the waiter asked breaking their reverie.

Spike sighed and rubbed his stomach. "Yeah and tonight it’s on Angel, as it should be, after all the Git is bleeding loaded."

"As usual my roommate is misinformed. Loaded." Angel laughed, embarrassed by all the unnecessary attention. He cut his eyes to Cordelia trying to read her expression.

Spike drained his glass and signaled for another. "Well, let’s just ask your father who invented that computer whasahaveit. When that old man croaks." He snorted, letting the statement hang in the air.

"Spike," Angel growled menacingly.

"Oi, we’re among friends, Peaches. All I’m saying is that you can bloody well afford to foot the bill."

Willow laughed nervously saying, "well let’s move on the something else, OK? Oz’s band is really starting to be noticed, right honey bear?"

Oz put down his beer and looked at the group. "We officially moved up to ‘we don’t suck’".

"You’re being too modest, Oz. You guys haven’t sucked in a long time." Cordelia said flashing a brilliant smile.

Oz frowned, absorbing Cordy’s comment quietly.

Once their dinner arrived the group spent the next couple of hours laughing and talking. And with the exception of a couple of hairy situations between Angel and Spike, fun was had by all.

"Dude, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how did you get to be a teacher?" Oz asked Angel after they had a few beers in them.

Spike again snorted, but he let Angel answer the question. "My father got tried of watching me sit by the pool trying to corrupt the maid." He stopped and smiled sheepishly at Cordelia. She patted his hand and he continued. Angel took on a slight Irish accent, "He would say ‘Liam my boy, I’ve realized that you’ve had it too easy. You need to do something with your life." Angel looked from one face to another as if to say can you believe it? But in reality it hadn’t gone quite so graciously. After the cursing and accusations it came down to Angel having to contribute to society or lose his inheritance. He’d always had a distant relationship with his father. His basic needs were met, but that father/son stuff that he saw with so many of his friends was seriously lacking. Angel believed that his father blamed him for his mother early death. Megan O’Farrell was just a photo in an old album, dying while Angel was still in diapers. She never truly recovered from giving birth to him and if cornered, he believed his father would have gladly traded Angel’s life for hers.

"I’m actually a TA. I’m finishing up my Masters degree this year. But unlike Spike over there I like my students a little older." Cordelia looked briefly at Buffy, but she was looking at Spike. "I plan on teaching College English.

"Yeah, you’ll be like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom. A classroom full of silly girls," Cordelia said sarcastically

"You’re not jealous, are ya babe?" He asked placing a wisp of her hair behind her ear.

"No I plan on being finished with you by then," she smiled.

"You think so?" he drawled placing a kiss on her hand.

Willow turned to Oz, "Awww they’re just like Rizzo and Kenickie from Grease." Buffy covered her mouth and giggled.

"That’s our cue to get out of here. Angel, hitch a ride with the princess over there, I’m taking my girl home." He stood and helped Buffy out of her seat. The sun had set and the temperature dropped considerably. What had been cute at dusk was inadequate now. They hurried to the car. Once they got in Spike said, "You know what would be fun?" She looked at him and he continued. "Tomorrow is a half day and I have to drop by the university. How about I meet you on campus and we can have lunch?"

"Whahuh?"

Chapter 14

"OhmyGod,OhmyGod,OhmyGod,OhmyGod!" Buffy paced back and forth across her bedroom clenching her cell phone. "What am I gonna do, Willow?" She whispered fiercely, "and if you say ‘tell him the truth’ so help me God!!"

"Calm down Buffy," Willow said in a soothing voice. "This isn’t really a problem."

"This isn’t a problem?" she yelled. Buffy cut her eyes to her door and, after a minute, continued in a whisper. "Please explain to me how me getting out of school, making it across town, and navigating a campus that I know nothing about all before noon, is not a problem?!"

"Wow, you’ve never even been on the campus?" Cordelia cut in. "You didn’t plan for this at all."

"Why are you even on the line Cordy?" Buffy moaned as she fell back on her bed.

"Mine, is the cold harsh voice of reality," Cordelia said. "While Willow is willing to play Ethel to your Lucy, I’m the one who will pull your butt out of the fire. Just tell him your teacher has cramps and your morning class was canceled."

"B-but what if her teacher is a man?"

"It’s a made up class, Willow!" Cordelia snapped. "Buffy, call him tomorrow at like ten and tell him you will meet him at a safe place, the library or the cafeteria. But make him take you out, cause cafeteria food, yuck!"

"How am I going to get out of school?" Buffy asked.

"Leave that to me," Cordelia answered smugly.

The next morning Buffy made her way across the parking lot to Cordelia’s red convertible. "OK enlighten me, oh wise one." She sat down in the front seat of the sports car and lifted her sunglasses. Cordelia paused momentarily taking in Buffy outfit. She had a white sleeveless polo, with a pink mini and crisp white tennis shoes. Buffy looked down at herself and looked back at her pouting, "I figured I would be doing a lot of walking, what with the public transportation and the wandering around the campus aimlessly.

"Cordelia sighed and looked at Buffy shaking her head. "I told you, I had everything covered. She reached behind her and pulled out a notebook. "This is for you." She handed her a piece of paper. "This is a basic map of the campus. You should have had this done already. I mean, really."

"Yeah, yeah next time I tell a lie so big I can’t see around it, I’ll be sure to remember that," she replied sharply. "Get on with it"

"I’m feeling ubergenerous today, I’ll drive you over to the school so that you have some time to get yourself acclimated to the campus. We wouldn’t want you to look like a total idiot." Buffy gave her a look that Cordelia chose to ignore.

Buffy looked up from the paper in her hand. "What about here," she pointed over her shoulder at the high school. "When I don’t show up for homeroom, Mary Ellen is going to call my mom. Joyce is gonna remember me sitting across from her this morning complaining about a history report due. Oh, that reminds me." She reached in her notebook and handed her the report. "Give this to Mr. Davis for me please."

"Give me that," Cordelia place the report with her books. "This is what we’re gonna do. Actually, I’m going to sit in my lovely car while you go in to school."

"What?"

Cordelia held up her hand, silencing the blond. "You see that group over there?" Leaning against the dead tree next to the handicapped parking spaces stood a group of about thirty students. They were smoking what Buffy doubted were Marlboro. "Those bright up and comers coupled over there, with the late bus will put about seventy-five student signing in late at once. You will be in that group, sign in and just slip back out in all the confusion. Viola! You will be signed in for homeroom." She smiled proudly and shooed her away when she saw a group of kids shuffle off of a metro bus.

Ten minutes later Buffy came racing back out of the school. She jumped into Cordelia’s car and the two took off, laughing. However by the time they made it across town, Buffy was subdued. Cordelia pulled into the parking lot and waited for Buffy to get out. "Get out," she said unlocking the door.

"What if I screw it up, Cordy. She whispered. "I mean I’m totally out of my element here!"

"You won’t and you’re not. Now get out of my car."

Buffy gave her friend an annoyed look and continued, "I’m looking for a little support here, maybe an encouraging word or two, Cordy!"

"OK, I support your need to not make a fool out of yourself and I encourage you to get out of my car!"

Buffy looked at her friend sharply. "I hate you." She opened the door to the car and stepped out. "Hopefully I won’t get lost and get attacked by a group of Beta Kappa Kappa pledges."

"Don’t be ridiculous," Cordelia said putting her car in drive, "pledge season is so over."

"Bu-" Buffy started as Cordelia took off. "OK, bye," she finished lamely. Buffy sighed bravely and turned towards the campus. All around her people were hustling off to classes; it seems everybody had a place to be except her. She reached into her bag and pulled out her hastily drawn map. She smiled softly at the little red ‘you are here square’. Looking over her shoulder, she found her first landmark. She made her way over to the athletic center and said to her herself, "I guess this is where I start."

Buffy spent the next two hours wandering around the vast campus peeking into all the buildings on the map and adding a few of her own. She quietly sat in on part of a lecture, flirted her way into the weight room, and watched some students practice for a play in the theater. All in all she had a great morning, but despite all the guys who wanted to make her feel otherwise, she was kinda lonely. She was walking with her head down, rewriting the name on one of the buildings when she bumped into someone. The next thing Buffy knew she had fallen down heavily on her bottom. "I’m s-s-sorry," the brown haired girl said bending down to help her up. "Here, let me help you. A-a-are you all right?"

Buffy took the hand that was offered to help her up. The young woman picked up the map, just as the wind was about to blow it away. "Thank you." Buffy took the map, folded it and put it in her bag.

"I’m sorry, my name is Tara. Are you l-l-lost?" She looked at the map sticking out of the bag.

"No--er well actually kinda," she pulled out the piece of paper and said, "can you help me find the cafeteria. I can’t believe she put down where the fraternity houses were but not the cafeteria."

"Oh, I can do that. Actually if you want, I could show you. I’m headed that way."

Tara smiled shyly at Buffy as they started walking. As the two women made their way across the campus, Buffy studied her companion out of the corner of her eye. Tara had a mother earth look to her, she had on a floor length multicolored skirt and brown peasant blouse. With her long straight hair and clean make up free face she looked like she’d stepped out of 1969. The wind lifted Tara’s hair from her face and the girl met Buffy’s eye and smiled gently at her. "Are you thinking of coming here next year, after you graduate?

"What? What makes you think that I’m not a student," Buffy snapped.

"Oh I’m sorry. I d-didn’t mean anything by it. Y-y-you just looked so lost, I guess it made you look younger then you are." Tara looked at Buffy apologetically.

Buffy instantly felt bad for her sharp words. "Hey, no I’m sorry. I’m meeting my boyfriend in the cafeteria in," she looked down at her watch, "thirty-five minutes, and I’m just a little frustrated. My map said that the cafeteria would be right over by the basketball court and it wasn’t.

Tara frowned and said quietly, "well, yeah they tore down the building two semesters ago."

Buffy bit her bottom lip and smiled weakly at Tara. "I guess it’s kinda obvious that I’m not a student here, huh? I just moved to Sunnydale from LA and I was thinking of transferring here." The two women walked in comfortable silence till Tara stopped in front of one of the newer building.

"Well," Tara turned towards the Buffy and the two women stood in the stream of students going in for lunch. This is where I get off. It was nice meeting you, Buffy. I hope that transfer works out for you." Tara turned and continued up the walk.

"Thanks a lot, Tara," Buffy said to Tara’s retreating back. She looked over her shoulder and waved.

Buffy sat on a bench outside the building waiting for Spike to show up. At 12:01 she heard a familiar voice pull her out of a daydream. "Hello Luv, I hope you haven’t been waiting long." Spike leaned over and kissed her soundly on her lips. "Do you want to stay on campus for lunch--do you have afternoon classes?"

"No it’s not an important class, let’s get out of here."

As the couple casually made their way over to his car Spike took in the students, "This takes me back, the hustle, the excitement. Not knowing what the future holds, but innocent enough to believe you’d be prepared for whatever it threw at you."

"Wow, I had no idea that you were so ancient. It’s been what? Like a hundred years since you’ve been on a college campus, grandpa?" she teased, her eyes laughing mischievously.

Spike looked at her walking next to him in the sun and felt something foreign awaken in his chest. For longer then he cared to admit, even to himself, he’d been merely existing. Work to home and back again. He’d thought taking on a flatmate, especially one as young as Angel would help him get back into the swing of things. But all it did was solidify the fact that he wanted something different. He often wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t let Angel drag him out that night. Would he have met this little slip of a girl with her wide eyes and cherry lip gloss at the supermarket? At the post office, maybe? No, he was meant to meet her that night and hopefully spend the rest of his life with her. Spike knew that he had always been love’s bitch, but Buffy was fate’s way of making the scales even.

"I wanted to talk with you about last night--the whole," she looked around making sure no one was paying attention to them, "the whole sex thing. I’m sorry I understand that you’re ready. A whole world of ready! And I come across as a tease-- what with all the kissing and the touching, and then the ‘no’." Spike tried to speak and she gently placed her fingers on his lips. "No, I need to say this." She looked down at his chest, "I just want you to understand that I’ve never been with anyone before." She raised her head and looked Spike in the eye. "I just want you to know that when I’m ready, I want you to be my first."

Spike looked back at Buffy tenderly, unable to speak for a moment. When he was ready he said quietly, "I am so honored. You know what?" She looked up at his face expectantly. "This is just the beginning of the things I look forward to experiencing with you." He reached down and brought her hand to his mouth placing a soft kiss on her knuckle. She stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Spike’s face broke out in a wicked grin as he grabbed her behind pressing her to him. Buffy visibly started. He whispered huskily in her ear, "Pet, I can hardly wait, but wait I will. And when it happens it will be the most romantic, most sensual night of your life. I’m going to worship every hill and every valley. I’m going to spend an eternity worshiping at the glorious temple that is Buffy."

She colored deeply as her body responded to his words and the warm touch of his breath on her neck. Her breath quickened as she thought about finally seeing him, touching him. Suddenly, Buffy became aware of just how close Spike was, how clean he smelled and she stepped back. "I’m ready to eat now."
Spike smiled knowingly as she hurried to his car.

"Where would you like to go, Pet?"

‘Your house,’ she thought, but she said, "Oh I don’t know let’s just go to the mall."

As the couple made their way to the food court, they walked by a photo booth. Buffy stopped and said to Spike, "Are you thinking what I’m thinking?" She turned to look at Spike and seeing him facing Kam’s Naughty Girl, continued, "I guess not, huh? Spike, let’s get our picture taken." She pulled him away from the display window and they went to the photo booth. A few minutes later they exited the booth laughing loudly. Spike pulled the photos from the feed and looked at them. Buffy smiled wickedly at Spike and said, "Wait right here." She went back inside the booth and Spike saw a series of flashing around the curtain. Buffy pulled back the curtain and picked up the new photos from the feed. She handed Spike the pictures and whispered, "These are for you." He sputtered as he looked down at them.

"These are… umm… very nice, Pet. This one here I’m going to put in my wallet, the rest, they're going to stay in a safe private place."

Chapter 15

A few weeks later Willow and Buffy were making their way to sixth period when Willow asked, "What are you gonna do for your birthday, Buffy?"
'
"My mom’s throwing me a party, you know family, a few friends, then afterwards the nights all mine."

"Oh you’re having a family party, how quaint," Cordelia said sliding up next to the two girls.

"It’s not everyday that Joyce’s little girl turns 18." Buffy clenched her books to her chest. "Besides, who can say no to chocolate cake and fun hats?"

"Did I hear someone say cake, and point me to the fun hats." Xander hurried between Buffy and Willow draping his arms around the two girls’ shoulders. Cordelia rolled her eyes heavenward as Willow and Buffy laughed.

"Do you want to come to my party Xander?" Buffy asked sweetly.

"Can I be your date?" he replied wiggling his eyebrows.

"I don’t know how my boyfriend is going to feel about that. Whadda you think, Will?" Buffy turned to Willow worried expression.

Willow stopped suddenly and frowned nervously at her; Xander tightened his hold on Willow and dragged her so she wouldn’t fall behind the group. "He’s not coming, is he Buffy?"

"Of course not. I’m not even telling him it’s my birthday. As far as he knows, this weekend I’m having a quiet visit with my mom. He and I are going to be celebrating at a later date."

"Ugh boyfriend talk. I’m out of here; call me with the details about the party. Ladies." Xander bowed deeply and turned, melting into the crowd.

"I’m amazed every time he does that," Buffy said to herself. Shaking her head she turned her attention back to her girl friends. "You’ll be happy to know that next weekend I’m telling Spike the truth. Everything.

"Wow Buffy are you sure?"

"Yes. Next weekend is the perfect time. My mom is going to LA for some artwork auction and I’ll have the house to myself. I’m going to invite him over and we’re going to take that next step."

"That’s so weird," Willow said softly. To her friends confused expression she sighed noting, "I mean you’re all like ‘Tuesday I’m getting my teeth cleaned, Thursday I have a book that I need to return to the library, and oh yeah, Friday I’m going to lose my virginity.’ I’m just saying, weird."

"It’s not like that, Willow. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it." Buffy turned to Cordelia and said, "Cordelia, please tell her."

Cordelia stopped and thought for moment, "Well, at least you won’t be jail bait anymore."

"Have I told you that I hate you lately?" Buffy pouted and Willow grinned. "Back to my party. Will you guys be able to come and celebrate ‘my not being jail bait’ party this Friday? We can go Bronzing afterwards. Oh, and Cordy, you can’t tell Angel about my birthday. He might tell Spike."

"Yeah, because when Angel and I get together we just talk and talk about you." Cordelia retorted sarcastically.

"Just promise, Cordy." Buffy pleaded.

"OK, don’t have a cow. I promise not to tell him anything. I’ll see you guys later." Cordelia walked away with a flick of her ponytail.

Across town Spike walked through the brightly lit halls of one of Sunnydale many preschools. He had a spring in his step and a whistle on his lips. He turned a corner and stopped at the first door, opening it gently. He stepped in the room that had mats all over the floor. He made his way to his desk, careful not to hit any of the sleeping children laid out on them. He sat down turning on a small lamp, thinking that it would be the best time to catch up on some paperwork, but he was preoccupied with thoughts of Buffy. He opened his planner and pulled out the small picture of Buffy that he kept in the pocket. A small smile graced his face as he took in her laughing countenance. He ran a thumb over the picture when he heard a small sigh. He placed the picture on his desk and looked up into the tired eyes of David. "I think I had a accident." David whispered in a sad voice. At that moment the timer went off and all around them, children started waking up. Spike looked around weighting his options, should he take David or stay with the waking children? The door opened and his assistant Maggie came into the room. She looked from David’s stained pants to Spike’s imploring face.

"No." she stated, simply.

Spike sighed and without a word led David out the door to his cubbie for a change of clothes.

When the door closed behind the two guys, Maggie started gathering the children things together. She looked up and saw one of the students next to William’s desk. "Dawn honey, come over here and pick up your blanket. You know that you’re supposed to stay away from William’s desk. You didn’t touch anything on it did you?"

Dawn smiled sweetly at Maggie and walked to her blanket. Dawn was just getting this whole school thing. It was kinda like Mrs. Rose’s day care but sometimes the bigger kids in the hall were noisy. A lot noisier than Mrs. Rose ever allowed. And Maggie was nice, but she wasn’t as nice as Miss Patty. William was a nice teacher even if he talked funny like Mr. Giles did. She wondered if he was from England like him, and she also wondered if he knew Mr. Giles. She was going to have to ask him when he came back with David. She was also going to ask why he had a picture of Buffy, she wrapped her fingers around the photo in her pocket.


"Mom, are you home." Buffy called to the obviously empty house. She stuck her head out the door and waved her friends into the house. Willow and Cordelia walked up the driveway and made their way into the Revello Drive kitchen. Willow sat at the island while Cordelia got herself a diet coke out of the refrigerator. "Make yourself at home," Buffy said, eying her friend.

Buffy noticed the answering machine light blinking and went to retrieved the messages. An electronic voice told her that there were two new ones, and she started listening to the first message. It was Allie from the LA Art gallery. "Hello Joyce." she said in her smooth tone. "I can’t wait to see you when you come back to the city. I have this new artist that you are going to just love! He’s young and hip and completely original! I just know--" Buffy interrupted the message. She saved it for her mother and moved on to the next one. "Hey Joy, it’s me. Can you call me back as soon as you get this message. It’s kinda important. It’s about, well just call me back ‘kay?"

"What’s wrong Buffy." Willow asked.

Buffy shook her head slightly whispering, "My aunt sounded so serious. I hope..." she stopped and looked at Cordelia and Willow, waving her hand dismissively. "I’m sure it’s nothing. Let’s go upstairs and figure out what we’re doing tonight."

Cordelia took a pull on the straw in her coke when her eyes fell on an envelope addressed to Buffy. "Buffy this is yours." She picked up the letter and handed it to her. "Ohh it’s from Spain," she added.

Buffy snatched the letter and tore open the envelope. She tossed the card aside without a look and picked up the check that was in it. "Well one thing can be said about Hank. What he lacks in parenting skills he more then makes up for in guilt money." She showed the check to both Willow and Cordelia. Willow whistled while Cordelia gave it a look of approval.

Buffy folded the check up and stuck it in her pocket saying, "I guess lunch is on me. Whadda you guys say to pizza?"

"I say, ‘jump in my tummy’." Willow explained walking up the stairs with Cordelia. Buffy started laughing when her eyes fell on the card sitting on the counter. She picked it up and, seeing only a few words on the paper sadly slid it into her bag.
 

Earlier that afternoon about the same time that Buffy was grabbing her books for her last class, across town her cousin Dawn was getting into the car with her mother. "Mommy! Mommy! Guess what?" The little girl stared at her mom with bright eyes. Dawn’s long brown hair hung shiny around her cherub face. She smiled her gapped tooth smile and repeated excitedly. "Guess what, Mommy."

Jenny started the car and pulled out into the afternoon traffic. "I couldn’t even begin to guess, honey. Why don’t you tell me? Did it involve clowns? Polar bears?"
Dawn giggled into her hands, "No silly. There were real Indians in our class today. Just like on TV."

"Just like on TV?" Jenny echoed.

"Yes, and one looked just like Pocahontas. They brought a whole buncha Indian stuff call artifacts, and they even showed us a dance!"

"It was a good day to be in school, huh?"

"The best! Even when stupid Logan spilling his apple juice on me, that didn’t spoil it. But when I danced I was all sticky. It was gross!" Dawn looked down at her shirt and fingered a large stain on it.

"Well when you get home, throw your clothes in the wash and then you can show me your dance, how does that sound?" Jenny said sitting at the light on the corner of their street.

"OK. I can dance real good. Mr. Shadowhawk said so."

Jenny looked down at the earnest expression on her daughter’s face and kissed her on the forehead. "What was that for," she asked with a gleam in her eye.

"I just wanted to give the best Indian dancer I know a kiss. Is that all right?"

Jenny turned into their driveway and Dawn bolted out the car to the swing set in the back yard. "Dawn, didn’t I tell you to do something first?" Dawn stopped and went in the back door.

"Hi snowball," she said to the white cat that came in the kitchen to meet her. Snowball meowed loudly as Dawn pulled her shirt over her head and kicked her shorts off. She stuffed both in the washer as her mother came in the door. Jenny looked at her daughter standing in the kitchen in her underwear and frowned. "Mom look at my dance!" Dawn started shuffling in place looking so silly that Jenny couldn’t stay upset with her. Dawn started dancing faster and soon both Jenny and her little girl were laughing like crazy.

A half hour later a fully dressed Dawn ran around her swing set with her neighbor Hannah. Jenny watched the two from the kitchen window. Behind her the washing machine hummed. Jenny picked up the phone and dialed. After a moment she said in a low voice, "Hey, it’s just me. How was your day?" She smiled lightly as she listened to the voice on the other end. Jenny turned and leaned on the counter. "You poor thing. Why don’t you come over and I’ll make it all better. Oh and listen, I’m really excited about this weekend. I hope you realize how big a deal this is?" she said in mock seriousness. Then in a softer voice she continued, "I know. OK, I’ll see you when you get here. Bring a bottle of wine, I’m making pasta." She hung up the phone and after a moment picked it up again. "Hey Joy, it’s me. Can you call me back as soon as you get this message? It’s kinda important. It’s about, well just call me back, ‘kay?" She disconnected and watched Dawn through the glass.

Chapter 16

While the girls waited for their pizza, Joyce pulled into the drive. Buffy bound down the stairs to meet her. "Hi mom," she said to Joyce as Joyce placed her bags on the counter and kicked off her heels.

Joyce rolled her eyes to the ceiling and moaned, "Oh I’ve been waiting to do that all day." After greeting Buffy, she looked over her daughter’s shoulder and said "Hello, Willow. Cordelia.

"Hi Mrs. Summers." Willow said smiling warmly.
Just as Cordelia was about to speak her phone chirped. "Oh I have to get this." She turned her back to the small group and started whispering into the phone.

"So how was work mom?" Buffy asked as she eyed the bags on the table.

"We have a new artist that we are having a show for and can I say he is very demanding. He has very strict instruction for every aspect of his show. Right down to what kind of lights he wants in the gallery. We also received a shipment of African fertility pieces and half of them were missing. I just want to go lay down in a quiet room.” Joyce reached for a wine glass and poured herself a generous amount. “So, what are you girls planning for tonight."

"I don’t know, we’ll probably hang out at the Bronze." Buffy absently picked through the groceries her mother brought in. "Can we have these chips, please." She held up a bag of nachos smiling hopefully at her mom.

Joyce snatched the chips good-naturedly from her only child and said, "No, this stuff is for the party. So hands off, young lady." Buffy pouted and plopped down in a chair. Joyce noticed the ripped envelope on the counter, so she knew Buffy had received her annual letter from Hank. There were times that Joyce wanted to just thump her ex-husband, never more then when it came to her only child. When they first separated, Hank tried to feed Joyce the line ‘that although their relationship didn’t work out that wouldn’t effect his relationship with Buffy’, and for about two minutes she believed him. She leaned in a kissed her daughter on the forehead.

"What was that for?" she asked, eyes twinkling.

"Call it a early birthday gift. And," Joyce reached into her purse and handed Buffy a small box. Cordelia and Willow took a step closer. "I wanted to wait till your birthday, but hell, I couldn’t." Joyce pulled up a chair next to Buffy and watched expectantly as she opened the box. Nestled inside was a ring with a small opal stone.

"Is this Gram’s ring?" Buffy breathed, holding the diminutive piece of jewelry reverently.

"I know you’ve always loved that ring and I just wanted" Joyce stopped suddenly and Buffy looked up from the ring on her finger to see her mother crying. "I just wanted you to know that she would have been very proud of you." Buffy leaned over and hugged her mother tightly. Joyce closed her eyes, enjoying her daughter’s warm embrace.

The two women tender moment was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Willow smiled and said to them, "don’t get up, I’ll get it. It’s probably just the pizza." While she made her way to the front door,
Cordelia came over to examine the ring.
After a moment’s inspection Cordelia nodded. "Impressive. That really is a perfect ring for you. With your small hands anything bigger would just look tacky."

Buffy smiled tightly. "Thank you Cordy, I think." She snatched her hand away from her and turned to her mother. "That weird lady Allie, called about your trip next weekend and Aunt Jenny called. It sounded important, Aunt Jenny not Allie. She creeps me out, Allie not Aunt Jenny. They both said to call them as soon as you got in."

Joyce grabbed the cordless phone and punching in a number, walked upstairs. Willow returned with the pizza box. Soon the kitchen was filled with smell of fresh pizza and the sound of giggling girls. The trio were just finishing their first slice when they heard a shriek from Joyce’s room.

"Buffy!" The three teenagers ran upstairs to find Joyce beaming in her room.

"What the hell… or heck… I mean heck." Buffy smiled sheepishly at her mom. "What the heck happened, Mom?"

"Guess who is bringing a date to your party this weekend?" Joyce asked casually as she leaned over her dresser and pushed a curly wisp of hair out of her eye.

"Not you, I hope." Buffy breathed.

"No." Joyce caught her daughter’s eye in the mirror and frowned. "Your Aunt Jenny’s gone and got herself a beau. His name is Rupert" She spun around and frowning said, "Oh, honey, I hope you don’t mind."

It’s all right, Mom, it’s a party, someone should have a date, even if his name is Rupert."

Joyce put her arm around Buffy’s shoulder and said cryptically, "I don’t know Buffy. Unexpected things have been known to happen at a party."

"What did you mean by that, Mom?" She turned to Willow and Cordelia. "What did she mean by that?"
"W-well, you know Buffy." Willow wrung her hands and cut her eye from one woman to the other. "Parties are known for festivities and the people and some of those people being boys, dates could happen."

Cordelia looked down at her watch and said, "What’s with you and your family’s need to share about your love life. We really should be getting ready for Bronzing." She turned and left Joyce’s room, followed closely by Willow.

The Summers women watched the two leave and Buffy looked at her mother and shrugged. "Did she tell you anything about this guy? This Rupert." As much as she would like for both her aunt and her mother to find that special someone, neither were known for picking winners. Buffy shuddered thinking about that one guy her mother had brought home who looked like that dead guy from that silly Nick at Night show. "I just hope he’s, well you know…" Buffy trailed off.

Joyce once again embraced her daughter and said reassuringly, "I don’t know, honey, this one must be good for him to make it this far. Not only is he meeting the family but he’s coming to a social gathering." After a moment she added, "I wonder if he has a brother?"

Buffy laughed with her mother and then, shaking her head, made her way back to her friends.

Chapter 17

Later that evening Jenny sat in the yard with Rupert enjoying the cool night air, when they heard Dawn’s sorrowful cries. Jenny jumped up and ran through the back door of her house. Dawn stood in the kitchen holding her shorts as tears steamed down her cheeks. Jenny bent down and whispered, "Hush, sweetie. Why all the tears?" Jenny gently gathered her little one in her arms as Rupert stood in the doorway. She heard her daughter sniff as she tried to slow down her tears.

"I forgot to take it out." Dawn wiped her nose on her mother’s shirt absently. Jenny and Rupert exchanged a glance and smile as Dawn continued undaunted.

Kids.

"What did you forget to take out, honey?" she asked tenderly.

"My picture of Buffy....at school.....and she looked so pretty," Dawn added sadly. She handed her mother a melted photo. Jenny could barely make out the Buffy shaped form.

"Oh Dawnie. Don’t worry, we can get you another school picture." Dawn looked at her mother hopefully. "When we go to Buffy’s birthday party, we’ll ask Aunt Joy to give you another one." Jenny walked over to the freezer and pulled out a blue Popsicle. "I have a Popsicle here that I think can make things better ‘til the party.

"Will Will’um be at the party?" Dawn asked slurping on the frozen treat.

Jenny paused and laughing said, "Why on earth would your teacher be at Buffy’s party?" She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer for herself. She wordlessly offered her guest one. Rupert thanked her and took a long pull on the bottle.

Dawn concentrated on licking the blue liquid as it ran down to her hand. "I don’t know," she said absently. She looked up at her mother and said, "Can I get a baby brother? Emily just got a baby brother. Can I get one too?" She looked down at her blue hand and brightly added, "Or a puppy!"

Both adults sputtered up beer and once again their eyes met. Rupert put his beer down and removed his glasses. Jenny also placed her drink down as her cheeks reddened. "I swear, Dawn," she laughed nervously, "your mind is all over the place." She smoothed down Dawn’s hair and continued, "Why don’t you go brush your teeth and get ready for bed, OK?"


On the day of the party Buffy stood admiring her cake. "Buffy! Buffy!" She look up to see Dawn running towards her, two thick ponytails trailing behind her. Buffy turned just as Dawn launched herself into her arms. "Happy Birthday, Buffy!" she squealed kissing her cousin on the cheek. "I had a picture of you from school, but stupid Logan spilled apple juice on me when the Indians danced with us, and I washed them by accident so my mom told me to ask for another picture. Can I have one please?"

Buffy frowned not really following her little cousin’s story but replied, "Umm, sure?" Before she could say anything else she heard someone clear their throat in the doorway. Buffy turned, looking over her shoulder to see her Aunt and an obviously nervous man standing at the threshold.

"Hi Buffy," Jenny said. Buffy gave her a sympathetic smile, realizing that her Aunt was just as nervous as her guest. "Is Joy around?"

"Yeah, she’s upstairs. She’ll be down in a minute." Buffy let her gaze fall on the gentleman at Jenny’s side.

"Oh, where is my head? Rupert Giles this is my niece Buffy. Buffy this is my well, this is...Rupert."

"Pleasure to finally meet you, Buffy." He said in a cultured voice.

"So, Giles, what exactly are your intentions with my Aunt?" Buffy smiled sweetly waiting for his response.

Rupert smiled tightly as Jenny whacked Buffy on the arm. "Behave," she warned.

Dawn slid out of Buffy’s arms and walked towards the refrigerator to get herself a juice box. From somewhere upstairs they heard Joyce call down, "Buffy, is that Jenny I hear down there?"

"Yes, Joy, come down here. I want you to meet someone." Jenny grasped Rupert’s hand and beamed. He kissed her tenderly as Buffy looked on.

Upstairs Joyce ran the brush through her hair a final time. She paused, looking at the face staring back at her. ‘Where have all the years gone?’ she thought. She listened to Buffy’s laugh as it floated up from the kitchen. It seemed like just yesterday, Joyce was laying on her stomach, travel brochures of Europe spread out all over her bed, with Cream playing on the radio. Now she had a daughter who was going to college next year. "When did I become so old?" she wondered aloud.

"Whatcha say?" Buffy asked from the doorway. "Are you in here wigging yourself out?" Buffy sighed dramatically. "Mom, if I can handle turning 18, why can’t you? What’s the sitch?" Buffy walked over and flopped on the bed.

Joyce smiled softly at her daughter, "I know I’m being silly, but I guess I’m feeling my age all of a sudden." She pulled Buffy towards her and whispered, "So how is he? Does he seem nice?"

"I don’t know. He seems nice enough, if you go for the librarian type. He’s nothing like--" She stopped suddenly and looked at her mother, as if by speaking his name she would have the power to raise the dead.

"Oh, honey, I know. I often wonder how Ethan turned out the way he did. He never did truly understand what he had in Jenny and Dawn. And unfortunately he never will." She released Buffy and stepped back. "Enough of the sad thoughts." Today is a celebration. It’s not every day you turn eighteen. Now let’s go see this boyfriend of Jenny’s." The two made their way downstairs to the kitchen. Joyce scrutinized the man would had managed to captured her former sister-in-law’s heart.

"Joy, this is Rupert. Rupert, this is Joyce." Jenny looked at her nervously.

He extended his hand, simply saying, "Joyce."

She smiled warmly at the Englishman.

Chapter 18

"Knock, knock." Willow said, poking her head in the door. She stepped into the foyer, arms laden with balloons and decorations. "Cordelia’s parking the car; she’ll be in in a minute. Is Xander or Oz here yet?"

Buffy helped Willow, taking the things from her hands, and eyeing the small silver box on top. "Oh, shiny," she said shaking the box. Willow looked at her and shook her head. Buffy told her friends that it wasn’t necessary to get her anything. But the little girl in her still thought it was fun to get stuff.

The only thing that was going to mar her festivities was the absence of a certain blond Englishman. She was just going to have to make it up to him.....soon.

As if reading her mind, Willow said under her breath, "Have you spoken to Spike today, Buffy?"

"No, today has been a boyfriend-free day. Well, if you don’t count my Aunt Jenny’s. But you know what I mean." The two girls went into the dining room and started separating the decorations. "And you’ll never believe it but he’s English too."

Cordelia walked into the room and placed her gift on the table. "Who’s English?"

"I believe that would be me." The three girls jumped as Rupert stepped in the room. "Good afternoon ladies. Rupert Giles. And you are?"

"Giles, these are my very best friends Willow and Cordelia." He took each girl’s hand and after the introductions Buffy handed him the streamers and tape. He looked down at the things questioningly and Buffy said, "Willow loves all the colors." Willow grinned as she unfolded a 3D paper cake.

"Yeah, Willow and Dawn." Cordelia responded looking at the cake.

"Very well, then. Where are these streamers going?" Giles asked.

Ten minutes later the dining room was finished. Both Willow and Dawn stood in the middle of the room smiling at each other. "This room just screams party time!" Willow exclaimed. Dawn jumped up and down at Willow’s feet.

Jenny and Buffy smiled at the two while Cordelia whispered, "what a freak show." Willow had joined Dawn in the jumping up and down.

The doorbell ringing brought the jumping to an end. "I see Willow was in charge of decoration again, huh?" Xander came into the room followed by Oz. "Heaven help us at the Prom."

Like you’re going to be going to the Prom," Cordelia laughed.

I will be attending this gather the natives call Prom. I will partake in the ritual dancing and the sipping of colorful drinks in little cups. And if I’m lucky someone will spike said drink." Xander handed Buffy a bag and gave her a quick hug. "Happy birthday, Buffy."

"Thank you, Xander." Buffy released him and looked over to Oz. "Thanks for coming to my party, Oz."

"No problem." Oz put his gift down and gave his girlfriend a kiss. "Love what you did with the place."
Willow cut her eyes at Cordelia and smirked.

Joyce came into the dining room. "Wow, Buffy, I didn’t think that this would be the theme you would take." Joyce’s hand ran lightly over the table. "Is there hats?"
Buffy quirked her eyebrow and replied. "Mom, I think it’s fun, and you know I’m all for the fun."

Someone turned on the radio as the stream of guests continued to flow in. An hour or so later the house was in full party mode. Xander actually talked a few of the guests into wearing party hats. Buffy was talking to Cordelia when she heard the doorbell. She felt the change of atmosphere almost immediately. With her heart pounding, she turned to see who had arrived. "Buffy could you come in here for a moment?" her mother called. All around her there was a murmur of excitement. She went to find her mother.

Willow and Jenny were standing in the kitchen with Joyce. Buffy tried reading Willow’s face as Joyce, who was standing in front of the opened kitchen door, said, "You have a special visitor, Buffy."

Buffy silently went to the door. She looked up and squeaked, "Riley?!"

"Happy birthday, Buffy," Riley said, stepping into the house.

"I ran into Riley’s mom at the market and she told me he was going to be in town this weekend and knowing that you weren’t going to have a date tonight, I thought, why not?" Joyce said excitedly, missing her daughter’s reaction.

Riley, however, didn’t. He frowned. "I hope it’s all right that I came, Buffy? If you think I should go--."

"No!" she said quickly. "No, don’t be silly. Of course you should stay. I’m just… I mean you were the last person I expected to see." As his expression darkened she hastily added. "I’m not saying that in a negative way. Just call me surprise girl. It’s good to see you, Riley." She reached over and gave him a quick squeeze. "You want something to drink?"

Riley visibly relaxed as he looked down at her. He reached tentatively for her hand and said, "That would be nice." He looked down at their joined hands and whispered, "I’ve missed you, Buffy."

She let go of his hand and responded, "I’ve missed you too, Riley. Umm how is Idaho?"

He led Buffy to the hallway, where they sat on the stairs to talk. "It’s nice. If corn is your thing," he laughed. "Idaho University is nice. I’ve got this group of guys, they are the greatest. I didn’t think I would have been able to handle being so far from home. But once I got there I realized that everything in Sunnydale was replaceable." He smiled sheepishly at her. "Well, almost everything." He paused drinking her in. "You look really good." Riley breathed. "I didn’t realize until I saw you how much I missed you, Buffy.

Buffy felt her face heat up as she struggled with her emotions. If Riley had come back just a few months ago, she would have jumped happily in his arms. But that was before Spike. The girl Riley left last year had grown up a lot. "Did you meet someone?" she asked. "I know that there were probably a bunch of girls just dying to talk to Riley Finn."

"Is that it, Buffy? I should have known--" he said standing suddenly.

"It’s not like that, Riley. I mean, that is, when you left..... I thought we decided that we were going to see other people." Buffy stood also and leaned against the wall. "When you stopped writing me, I assumed you’d met some nice farmer’s daughter."

Riley looked at his hands and whispered, "So I take you have met someone."

He looked up into her eyes as she whispered, "I’m sorry." She took a step towards him and laid her hand on his chest. "I never meant to hurt you. Riley, you know that, right?"

He stepped away from her and said, "I really should be going. I don’t know what I was thinking." Buffy followed him to the door.

"Riley, you’re leaving so soon? We haven’t even cut the cake." Joyce stood in the kitchen refilling the punch bowl.

"Mrs. Summers, thank you for the invitation but I think I should be going now."

Joyce scrutinized first her daughter’s unhappy face, and then Riley’s and sputtered, "Is everything OK?"

Riley looked sadly at her. "It’s nothing, really, Mrs. Summers. Just had to clear some things up." He turned to Buffy. "I’ll see you around, Buffy."

Joyce turned to her daughter as the young man made his way slowly down the drive. "I’m so sorry, honey. I thought..." She stopped and took her daughter in her arms. "I thought it would be nice for you to see Riley again. I guess I should have asked. I hope I didn’t ruin your party."

"It’s all right, mom. How could you know, I didn’t even know. When Riley left I thought I would cry forever. I mean, I missed him so much. But as time went by... I guess I didn’t love him as much as I thought, huh?"

Willow walked in on the two and asked, "Umm, Buffy, are you all right?"

Buffy turned to her friend and wiping a stray tear said,. "I’ll be all right. This is a party. No place for tears." She put her arm around Willow. Buffy looked over her shoulder at her mother saying. "It’s a celebration, right?

Joyce looked at her daughter, and nodding answered, "A celebration."

Chapter 19

The following Monday after school, Buffy sat under a tree on campus waiting for Spike to pick her up. An hour before, Cordelia had dropped Buffy off at Sunnydale University. The brunette sighed and said, "You know I can’t wait for this all to end." She turned to look at Buffy.

Buffy gathered up her books and smiled tightly at her, not meeting her eyes. "Just one more week, Cordy. I can’t drive myself; you know I can’t leave my car on campus overnight." She opened the car door and closed it with her hip. She pleaded, "After this weekend, I promise."

Cordelia pouted at the blond. "I never thought it would happen but I am starting to really agree with Willow. This is getting too complicated. I mean with all the driving I’m doing to the campus. I took you three times last week. My calendar just can’t take all this chauffeuring around.

Cordelia looked unhappily at her friend. She struggled for a moment and suddenly put her car in park. "Can I ask you a question, Buffy?" Cordelia pulled the keys out of the ignition and stepped out of the convertible. The two women walked quietly to a bench and sat down. "You know I usually don’t come to you for boyfriend advice."

Buffy looked at Cordelia with flat eyes, "Go on," she prompted.

"It’s just, Angel and I haven’t been getting along lately."

"When aren’t you guys not getting along?" Buffy said laughing.

Cordelia looked at her with hurt eyes and Buffy sobered instantly. "I know that I come across as ‘all together girl’ but I do have feelings, Buffy."

"I’m sorry. Continue."

Cordelia turned towards Buffy saying, "He’s really putting the pressure on me for sex." She stared at her hands. In past relationships it was Cordelia that always had the upper hand. The boys she dated were always so grateful to have her on their arm, that she was allowed to be in control. When they became too demanding or, in most cases, boring, there was usually another one waiting for his chance to be seen with the beautiful Ms. Chase. It amazed her that this man was still around and even more so that she still wanted him around.

The conversation about sex came up almost immediately, as it usually did with her boyfriends. She in the past was always able to walk away without any second thoughts. But since meeting Angel she found herself daydreaming of a future with him.

And it terrified her.

"What made you decide that this was ‘The One’?" Cordelia asked after a moment. "I mean, he’s not like incredibly wealthy or all that handsome, he’s actually kinda tiny. I know you’re not the tallest person, but--."

"I think I get it, Cordelia." Buffy interrupted. She smiled softly thinking of the Englishman. "He’s a good man." She paused for a moment, trying to put her feelings into words. "I can see myself getting a dog with this man." Cordelia frowned and began to stand. Buffy quickly continued. "Going on vacation with him, eating tacos with him, picking out towels." She shook her head slowly. "The decision about the sex, that was the easy part. It’s the everyday stuff that you have to want. The boring stuff. Life. I can close my eyes and see him twenty years from now and I want to be there, with him." Her face lit up and she said, "Oh, and you’re wrong about one thing. He may not be the richest man or the tallest, but he is very handsome." She colored as she thought about this weekend. After a minute she continued, "You know the thing I just said, the decision about the sex being easy, it wasn’t. I don’t want to make light of that decision. I spent a long time thinking about it. And I know that, for me, the time is right. But I don’t think I can answer that question for you. Actually, I know I can’t answer that for you, I can only speak for myself. Answer me this. Do you love him?

Cordelia looked at Buffy with tears in her eyes. "I don’t know, maybe."

"If you don’t know then you can’t let him pressure you. Does he love you?"

Cordelia stood suddenly saying, "I don’t know."

"Then you’re talking to the wrong person." Buffy eyes narrowed as she watched Cordelia pace in front of her. "Cordy, you eat men like Angel for lunch. Why are you letting him get to you like this? I think maybe your feelings are deeper than you want to admit." Buffy stood up and placed her hand gently on Cordelia’s shoulder. "Go find him, talk to him, tell him how you feel. He might surprise you."

Cordelia gave Buffy a watery smile and a grateful hug. "When the hell did you get all mature on me?"

Buffy stepped back and said, "Have you seen how old my freakin’ boyfriend is?" Both girls laughed.

"Oh! I’d better get out of here before he shows up." Cordelia wiped her eyes and picked up her handbag. "Thanks. Buffy, this conversation. I have a reputation for being..."

Buffy interrupted, "I know ‘all together girl’. I got the memo. Don’t worry. This," she pointed between herself and Cordelia, "never happened."

"Thanks. Good luck." Buffy watched her friend as she
walked away. Buffy smiled as she noticed the dozen double takes Cordelia received by the time she made it to the car. "Sorry guys, but that one is taken," she whispered.

When Spike showed up fifteen minutes later Buffy was reading a book. "Hello, beautiful." He sat down next to her and kissed her passionately. Buffy closed her eyes and leaned in towards him as she snaked her fingers around his neck. "I’ve missed you, Pet," he said after reluctantly releasing her lips.

She sat inches away from him as she purred. "Well I’m here now." He reached up and ran his hands through her hair. Spike tilted his head as he studied her. She frowned slightly, whispering, "What?"
He smiled at her and cupped her face. He searched her eyes, blue to hazel and leaned in to kiss her again. She eagerly returned his kiss as she scooted onto his lap.

"You are glorious," he said as he nibbled along her jaw line. "God, I love you."

Buffy stopped and pushed him away gently. "Was that umm, comment directed to me? Or do you actually love, like, God?" she asked. "I mean if you do that’s fine. I’m sure He’s happy to know that you care so..."
Spike cut her off by capturing her lips again in a searing kiss. He coaxed her mouth open as he deepened it. When it became obvious that breathing was becoming an issue he stopped. "Although I have a great respect for the big guy, that was directed towards you. Buffy Summers, I love you."

Buffy propelled herself into Spike’s arms, knocking him backwards. She straddled him, giggling, and began kissing him again. She leaned back as he sat up. "I have something very important to tell you." Spike raised his brow and Buffy quickly clarified. "I guess what I’m saying is that I would like to invite you to my house for dinner this weekend."

"That’s bloody brilliant, Buffy. I finally get to meet your mum."

"Oh, she won’t be there."

He frowned, saying, "She won’t be there?"

"Yeah, it will be just you and me." She looked at him innocently.

His face at first lit up and then just as quickly turned lecherous. "Just the two of us, you say?"

"I don’t know, maybe we can find something to do to occupy ourselves." Buffy felt his excitement as she sat on his lap and he couldn’t help laughing at her expression.

"Don’t worry, Pet, I plan on making it a night that you’ll never forget." He nuzzled her neck and once again became lost in her kisses.

Chapter 20

That Friday Spike and Angel sat at the bar, each deep in their own thoughts. Spike’s were joyous while Angel’s weren’t. Behind them the large screen TV was showing some obscure ball game. At the moment the blue guys were wiping the floor with the yellow guys. "She actually asked me if I loved her. You know what," Angel said abruptly. He cut his eyes to his blond friend. "This wasn’t supposed to happen to me." Spike silently tipped his head back, emptying his glass completely. To the casual observer it looked like Angel was talking to himself, and he briefly wondered why he was friends with the quiet Englishman. Angel sighed loudly. "I mean, I’m Angel. I’m young, rich and beautiful," that caused Spike to smile faintly. "It was supposed to be just this thing, something or someone to do. I mean falling in love was your goal, not mine. Do you have any idea how this screws up my life plan?" Angel caught the eye of the bartender and signaled for two more drinks.

"Why don’t you just call the Homecoming Queen and kiss and make up? Stop pretending that you’re not whipped. Pick out your china pattern and get that house in the suburbs, or not, just stop pissing about it already." Spike stood up and drained his glass. "Myself, I’m man enough to admit that I’m love’s bitch. Now if you don’t mind, I got plans tonight. I’m going to see a little lady."

"I just hope she wasn’t serious about me to taking her
to that silly prom." Angel said to himself.

Spike stopped and with his back still towards Angel whispered, "What are you talking about, you daft git?"

"Yeah, when she initially brought it up, I kinda blew her off." Angel didn’t notice the change in his friend’s demeanor. He chuckled as he shook his head "I mean, how would it look, me at a high school senior prom?"

Spike turned to his flat mate and looked at him with wide eyes. "What the hell are you talking about? High school? Who’s in high school?" he asked through clenched teeth. But he knew, dammit, he knew. It answered so many questions that he’d never really wanted to ask. He knew there was something big that she was keeping from him, but high school? "How could I be so blind?" he asked himself with a broken voice as he sat down heavily. "Why would I think...? I mean she was always so vague. And I didn’t want to see it. I just didn’t want to see it. I was going to sleep with her.

Angel looked into Spike’s eyes and barked out a harsh laugh. "You really didn’t know? Dude I just thought you were, I don’t know, playing dumb. You know, that whole don’t ask, don’t tell attitude. But go figure, she had you snowed all along." Angel turned to the bartender and said, "Give my naive friend here a drink," he paused and added ,"dude, you’d better make it a double."

Spike blindly took the offered drink and emptied the glass in one shot. "High school," he said quietly. "So she’s what, eighteen--?

"Seventeen."

"Seventeen? Bloody hell!" Spike roared. "If Snyder, or anyone for that matter, found out about her, I would have lost everything." The gravity of the situation was starting to sink into the subdued man. "She not only lied to me but she put my whole career, everything that I’ve worked for, my future, in jeopardy." He ran his hand though his hair and stood up suddenly.

"Hey where are you going? You’ve had way too much to drink to be out driving tonight buddy. Let’s call a cab and get you home so you can sleep it off and just talk to Buffy in the morning." Angel reached for the smaller man’s arm.

Angel felt the emotion in his friend’s tense shoulder. "You best be getting your hand off me, mate. I have never been more sober than I am right now. Like I already said, I’m going to see a little lady.


Buffy did a final walk though her house. The living room had a soft glow from all the various candles. The radio was playing softly in the background. Dinner was done and the wine was chilling. All that was left to do was to get her new dress on. She smiled as she thought about the little black bag from Kam’s Naughty Girl that was upstairs on her bed. She had been thinking about this night for a very long time. Wondering about what it would be like, who the man would be. She was very happy that she never went all the way with Riley. She believed at the time that she loved him. But now that she knew what real love was, the childish crush was just plain embarrassing. She felt her face flush when she thought about what the night had in store for them. "Tonight we are going to share everything, I’m going to tell him everything," she vowed to her reflection. Lights turned into her driveway and Buffy felt her heart speed up. "Oh my goodness," she said turning towards the knocking on the front door. "Come in Spike, it’s opened," she called. As she ran up the stairs to her bedroom she ripped off her sweatshirt. "I’ll be right down, OK, Spike?" She frowned waiting for him to answer her and walked back to her closed bedroom door. She slowly opened the door, "Spike?" Outside her door he stood quietly watching her with hooded eyes. Buffy nervously brought her arms up to cover her breast, feeling the black mood coming off him. "Spike you’re scaring me. Talk to me, what’s wrong?"

"How old are you?" he asked in a tight voice.

"What? I--I don’t understand." she began.

"How. OLD. Are. You?" he yelled at her.

"Let me explain," she said starting to cry.

"Oh my God! All the way over here I was still hoping that it wasn’t true. I can’t believe that you’ve been lying to me, hell, the entire time that I’ve known you. Now I understand why I never met your mother. Why you were always so bloody vague about everything. And you wanted to sleep with me? How many men have you played the ‘I’m a virgin’ card on, huh, Buffy?" he asked her mockingly. "I can’t believe that I fell for it all. And to believe that I actually thought that you might be," Spike stopped, trying desperately to rein in his emotions.

Buffy stood before him with her face in her hands. He wasn’t supposed to find out like this; it wasn’t supposed to be like this, she kept saying to herself. She couldn’t even look at him, afraid to see the anger in his eyes. Buffy dropped her hands and looked at his feet. "I wanted to tell you so many times but I didn’t know how. At the bar, that first night I didn’t know. I would have told you that very night if I had known that I was going to fall in love--"

"Don’t say it." Spike looked at her with hard eyes, his jaw clenched with fury. "You have no right to say it."

"No, no, no." she whispered reaching for him.

"What the hell do you know about love? It’s more than puppies and songs you daft bint. First and foremost love is honesty you silly little girl! What do you know? You were going to let me, a man who makes his livelihood working with children," Buffy blanched at that thought. "you were going to let me sleep with a minor. I could have gone to jail Buffy, never be allowed to teach again. But you love me? Again I ask, what the hell does a seventeen year old girl know about love?"

"Eighteen." she whispered wiping her hand across her flushed face. "I turned eighteen last Tuesday. No matter what you think, what it looks like. I did love you. Do love you." She reached for his hand and felt the tears resume when he drew away from her
touch. "Don’t, please, Spike," she moaned, reaching for him again. He backed away from her and started down the stairs. As he walked to the front door he paused at the mantel. His face paled and he clamped his eyes shut. A wild laugh bubbled up from his chest. He looked at her and asked incredulously, "You know the Bit?" Buffy looked at him and shook her head, confused. He pinched the bridge of his nose and snickered again. "You know Dawn?"

"She’s my cousin, the one that I baby-sit." Buffy looked at him sadly as she took a timid step towards him.

Spike backed away from her with his hand up in the air. "I can’t believe the little Bit is related to you. I’m her teacher, you silly, silly girl."

"Stop calling me that!" Buffy shrieked, fists clenched at her sides. "I may be a lot of things to you right now, but stop calling me that! I know you still love me, Spike. So please stop being so cold. We can work this out, I told you I’m eighteen now. I’m legal." She threw herself desperately into his arms.

Spike pushed her away and said disbelievingly, "And that is exactly why I called you a silly girl. This is about so much more than being bloody legal. You may not like the title of ‘little girl’ but how about ‘pathological liar’, that is a much better fit."

"Stop it! Get out, get out, GET OUT!" Buffy screeched picking up a bowl to throw at him.

"No need for that Ducks." Spike said coldly. As he picked up the bottle of wine that was chilling in the bucket he said, "And you’re too young to be drinking this." He stepped out of the house and, uncorking the bottle, took a deep swallow.

Buffy stood in the middle of her living room with the bowl still in her grip. She started after him, the bowl shattering as she let it slip from her hand. She hugged herself and looking down realized that she still didn’t have a shirt on. Buffy stopped and sat on the floor crying. "But you love me," she said in a small voice.

Chapter 21

Dear Buffy,

How is Cleveland treating you? Is it cold up there yet? Is it ever not, ha ha! I wish you could have stayed in California so we could have gone to school together like we planned--but I guess understand. I miss you a lot and although she pretends not to, so does Cordelia. Oh yes, and Oz says hey.
How are your classes? I still can’t believe you decided to go to school in Ohio, of all places. What the heck does Ohio have anyway? Besides my best friend, of course. You are very brave to start over somewhere so far away from everyone you know. And I understand that it can be a selling point at times. I know I’ve asked you a thousand times, so what’s one more, right? Are you sure you don’t want to come home? Things just aren’t the same without you here.
I stopped by and saw your mother. She is keeping herself pretty busy with the art gallery and your Aunt Jenny’s wedding. I can’t wait to see you there--you will be back for it right?
I went over to Cordy and Angel’s (can you believe it??!). ‘You know who moved out when Cordelia moved in. I don’t know, it’s getting pretty serious between those two. He brought her a ring. She says it’s an engagement, he says it’s not.
I spoke to your mother and she invited me to your aunt’s wedding and I hope to see you there.
Please write me back. I’m sorry things turned out the way they did, but maybe it’s for the best. He was too old for you anyway.....
 

Hey Buffster!

Just a little note to say hello. How is the weather over there? I just got a job at a new construction site. It’s very physical but not everyone can do school, you know. I’m saving up to get an apartment so I can get out of my parents basement. They’re driving me crazy. Willow says that you’re going to be up for your aunt’s wedding. I hope to see you there. I want you to meet someone, her name is Anya she’s a local shopkeeper. I like her a lot. Willow and her, however, you thought there was tension between Cordy and Willow, you haven’t seen nothing yet. But they’ll work it out, they have to; because I think Anya, she’s the one.
 

Hey Buffy,

How are you? I’m doing good. So how is the snow up there? Or better yet, the men? Willow told me not to mention a certain bleached blond, but honestly I was never one to ignore the obvious, you know? I don’t know the details (and I don’t wanna!) but whatever you did, whoa, that man can put away the alcohol! I really hope that you’ve gotten over that sour English jerk. You are like so much better than him. I’m just glad that he finally got the message and moved out. Angel bought the house from him. (Not that we’re staying here for long!!) But until Angel finishes up his graduate work he wants to stay close to the school.
I’m so happy for your aunt. I just picked up the cutest little lavender dress. I can’t wait for you to see it. Write me back to let me know what you’re wearing---or are you in the wedding party? Oh I’m sure you are in the wedding, silly me. I’m’ going to take Mr. O’Farrell, hopefully he’ll get the hint.
 

Dear Buffy,

I’m sorry to hear about that snowstorm. It really bummed me out that you missed the wedding. Your Aunt looked beautiful, and Dawn was so cute! Oz and I, Xander and (ugh!) Anya came, and Cordy even dragged Angel to the reception. You should have seen Angel dancing, very funny. He has toned it down A LOT since Cordy moved in. It’s so weird seeing everyone growing up. The only thing missing is my best friend. The semester is almost over. My roommate stinks and between you and me I think she’s a demon. You could transfer here and come live on campus with me. You know, just like we planned. Oh and I met someone that knows you, Tara? She says hi and she’s sorry that you didn’t decide to transfer to Sunny U?? I don’t know., Anyway write me back soon and I’ll be mailing you some paperwork from the school. Just read them--no pressure.
 

Dear Buffy,

He did it! Angel asked Cordelia to marry him. Can you believe it? She came by my house last night crying. You know the ‘ring’ I told you about? Well it turned out it was just a ring. She showed me the actual engagement ring. To tell you the truth, I think that’s why she was crying. It was huge. She wants you to be at the wedding, if you can. I told her that I would write you to let you know.
I keep writing you and I hardly hear from you. Did I do something? Buffy, it’s really hard when I don’t hear from you very often. Are we still friends?




Buffy lowered the letter. She sat in a local diner with a cup of coffee in front of her. Outside the window a harsh winter wind blew. The snow still amazed her, all white and soft and Norman Rockwelly, just like on a post card. Then the snow gets all gray and hard, and that’s something Hallmark never put on a card! The cold was so....cold, and she was still getting use to it. She’d been here a little over three years and had made few friends. "Buffy, break’s over," an older woman called from behind the counter.

She stood up and smoothed down the front of her uniform. "I’m coming. I’m coming. Hold your horses, Helen." Buffy made her way over to the counter.

"Hey, beautiful." Buffy looked up to see a young man saunter into the restaurant. He knocked snow off his head and shoulders as he made his way towards her.
"Hey, yourself. What can I get for you, Jason?" Buffy picked up the coffee pot and poured him a cup.

"Thanks, Pet," he said sitting at the counter. Buffy looked up at him, startled. Jason pulled off his gloves and warmed his hands over the steaming cup. "Man alive! It’s colder than a witches--"

"Hey!" Helen interrupted.

Jason looked sheepishly at Helen. When Helen turned to take another customer’s order, Jason winked at Buffy. "I will take a cheese and broccoli omelet, a side of bacon, and a date this Saturday."

"Helen," Buffy called. "Whatcha doing this weekend?"

Jason looked at Buffy with wounded eyes. "You crush me, Buffy, you really do. How am I ever going to show you what a great guy I am if you won’t go out with me." He brought his cup to his lips and took a timid sip of the hot liquid. "We’re never going to get married at this rate," he muttered.

"Buffy, table two needs a refill on his coffee." Helen pointed to an older gentleman who was looking expectantly toward the women.

Buffy caught Helen’s eye with a grateful smile. Buffy took the pot over to the man and filled his cup. Ever since Jason saw Buffy at the school commons he had been coming to the diner regularly. At first the attention saddened her; it made her think of things she needn’t think about. After so long it surprised her how tender her heart remained about him.

That awful night Spike found out her true age was a turning point in a way she hadn’t expected. Buffy had spent the remainder of the day in front of the TV as it droned on. She tried calling him to explain, but Angel quietly informed her that Spike had nothing to say to her. When Willow showed up at her house Saturday afternoon Buffy ran and hid upstairs in her room until she left. By the time her mother returned Sunday night, Buffy had made a decision.

"Mom, I think I want to go to school out of state." Buffy picked through the Chinese food her mother had picked up on the way home.

Joyce quietly placed her chopsticks on her plate and wiped her mouth. "Well, this is unexpected." she said after a moment. "What brought this on?"

"I’d been thinking about it for awhile," she lied. She pushed her plate away. "I’ve been going online, looking at a couple of schools and I think I would like to see some of the country. Here," she handed her mother a few of printed pages, "is some information on some of the different schools I looked at. With room and board they aren’t too much more expensive then Sunny U. Maybe we could get dad to foot some of the bill," she finished quietly.

Joyce looked from the pile of papers in front of her to Buffy. She knew something else was going on. "Buffy! These schools are all the way on the east coast! What about your plans with Willow? I thought you two were going to go to Sunny U and be roommates. How did she take the news of your change of plans?"

"I haven’t told her," Buffy looked down at her nails. "I feel suffocated here. Please, mom, I just need a change." She sat down heavily in her chair looking miserable.

"Let me think about it," Joyce stood and walked over to Buffy and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Can I suggest you do the same? This is a very big decision." Buffy felt her eyes tear up as Joyce picked up the plates and walked into the kitchen.



Buffy hurriedly wiped her eyes and looked over at the crowd that came in from the cold. The group laughed and started taking off their heavy outer wear. Sighing, she walked across the restaurant to set the new customers up.

Chapter 22

Later that evening, during a lull Helen asked Buffy, "so when are you going to thrown that Jason a bone? He seems real nice and he adores you." Helen wiped the counters as Buffy refilled the napkin dispensers.

Buffy felt a chill run up her spine and for moment looked as if she wasn’t going to answer Helen. Buffy picked up her sweater and put it on. She had to admit that on the surface, Jason Miller was a great catch. With his tousled blond hair and cute little glasses, he was the picture of wholesomeness. And whether helping her with her math homework or trying out for the lead in the school production of Our Town, everything seemed to come easy for the soft-spoken man. In all reality he was perfect.

Just not for her.

"I can’t Helen. It’s just not there, you know? No sparkage to speak of at all. You would think that we would be sparking all over the place. Blinding people for miles with the sparkage. I’ve had relationships with and without it and let me tell you," Buffy put down the box of napkins and looked sadly at her co-worker and friend, "sparkage can hurt."

“Then Jason would be prefect. Child, you live like you’re ten years older then me. You go to class, study and come work at this dump. Get out, be young." Helen walked into the kitchen and her voice called from the back room. "One day Jason is going to find himself a nice girl who will notice just how green his eyes are."

"They’re blue," Buffy corrected absently. She snapped her head up and Helen chuckled as she came back out of the back room with pan with silverware in her hands. "N-not that it means anything. I mean, of course I would know the color of his eyes Helen! We’re just friends." Buffy frowned down at the counter top.

Helen wave dismissively at her. "Oh don’t get your panties in a bunch, Buffy. I’m just picking with you. I just wanted you to realize that no matter what or who you left back there in California, you’re still young."

"That was the problem." Buffy whispered as she slid down in her chair.

"Whatcha say?"

"Nothing. I guess my mind is kinda back in California today."

"Well, my mind is in the Bahamas but to each his own I always say." Helen sat down heavily next to Buffy and started wrapping utensils in napkins for the dinner crowd.

"Ppfft, that’s so not it. I have a friend from high school getting married. She asked me to be in the wedding but I just can’t go back. It just making me think of that who I left back in California" She cut her eyes towards Helen. "How can I go to Cordy’s wedding, I didn’t even go back to my aunt’s wedding. I tried, but I just couldn’t."

Helen watched her young co-worker struggle with her emotions. She like Buffy, really liked her; but there was a sadness about her that Helen just couldn’t understand. "Hon, don’t you let anything keep you from doing what you want to do, going where you want to go. Don’t give him that kind of power."

A small sob escaped Buffy and she quickly brought her hand to her mouth. "You don’t understand," she whispered.

"What’s to understand? You want to go back home to see your friends special day and you’re letting something in you past stand in your way." The bell over the door rang and both women stopped and watched the beginnings of the dinner crowd trickle in. "Why don’t you go in the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up. I’ll get everyone started. Buffy turned to head towards the bathroom when Helen placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and whispered. "Think about what I said, Buffy. California is big enough for the both of you."

Buffy headed for the bathroom thinking about Cordelia and Angel’s upcoming wedding. A small part of her never wanted to go home again. But if she was honest with herself, she missed her family, she missed her room, she missed her friends.

And God help her, she missed Spike.

She knew, rationally that she had to move on. Buffy assumed that he had although she hadn’t had the nerve to ask anyone about Spike. It’d been almost three years since she seen him that faithful night. Those last couple of months in Sunnydale were painful for everyone involved. Buffy walked around in a fog, one moment snapping at all her family and friends and another bursting into tears. On more then one occasion her mother tried to talk to her only daughter, but Buffy knew she couldn’t tell her mom anything without telling her everything, so she told her nothing.

Buffy pulled the short letter from her pocket, wondering if he was going to be there. So much time had past she wondered if he ever thought of her....if he still hated her. Buffy remember running into Spike at the Bronze shortly after graduation. She remember struggling to compose herself as their eyes met across the room, just like in those silly movies her mom and aunt loved to watch on a Saturday night. But unlike the movies, this leading man sneer in loathing at the heroine and turned to leave not just the room but the building. Willow caught the snub and she looked at Buffy with eyes filled with pity. Buffy never went out again. She spent the remainder of her time hiding in her room counting the days till she left California.

It was only fitting that on the morning Buffy left the sky was gray and overcast. It reflected the mood of the occasion perfectly. Joyce, Aunt Jenny, and Dawnie all stood in the airport to see her off. Not much was said that day, even Dawnie felt the tension.



NOW BOARDING, FLIGHT 9138 OHIO AT GATE 9. FLIGHT 9138 AT GATE 9.



"Oh that’s your plane." Joyce stood up and grabbed a carry on. As the small group made their way to the gate Joyce struggled with something to say to comfort her agitated daughter. "Call us when you land," she finally said weakly.


"Buffy!" Helen called, bringing Buffy out of her daydream. She looked over at her co-worker’s haggard face and sighing rushed over to help her.

Later after her shift at the diner, Buffy sat at her desk staring at her open ethics book. "If you’re not going to read that book can you turn off that light?" a pile of clothes said grumpily from the bed across the room. A dark head popped out from under the clothes and frowned at Buffy. "I swear B, you gotta do something with that light. I got Bennington tomorrow morning. You know how he gets if he catches you sleeping in his class," Faith moaned.

Buffy turned to her roommate saying, "huh? Oh. Yeah. Right, I’m sorry. I was just thinking."

"Well, could you possibly think with the lights off." She fell back on her pillow and sighed. Faith turned away from her room mate and pulled the blanket over her head. "I gotta get some sleep." she mumbled from under her covering.

Buffy smiled towards the bed and extinguished the lamp. She made her way to the bathroom and gently closed the door. Buffy turned on the water and after washing her face and brushing her teeth looked at her reflection in the mirror and breathed sadly. "Can I ask you a question? Faith?" She peeked out the bathroom door and watched Faith pulled the blanket higher over her head burrowing deeper in her bed. "I know you’re awake, you scank!" Buffy laughed and tossed a sandal at her new room mate.

Buffy’s original room mate ‘Heather’, didn’t last long. With Heather’s homesickness, her missing her boyfriend Chad, and her major, theater, she drove Buffy crazy. Between the crying in the bathroom and the flouncing around the room, Buffy spent a lot of her free time at the library or the diner. She was relieved when Heather decided it was better for her to study in her hometown. When Faith initially walked into the dorm room Buffy inwardly cringed. Faith looked her up and down and said, "wow, my very own my size Barbie. What did I do to be so lucky?"

Thankfully, things got better.

"Seriously, I need to talk to you." Buffy said turning on the over head light.

Faith sat up in her bed squinting, her raven hair standing on end. She sighed, running her hand across her face. "B, If I give you," she looked at her clock, "five minutes, will you let me go to sleep?"

"And I’ll do your laundry." she added hastily.

"Whites and darks?"

"Of course." Buffy quickly sat on the edge of Faith’s bed. "My friend, Cordy is getting married."
Faith looked at Buffy blankly and then fluffing her pillow started to lay down.

"I got an invitation."

"That’s great. Bring me a piece of cake," she said from under her cover.

"More then likely Spike will be there," she whispered.

Faith sat up suddenly as Buffy slowly looked up from her hands. "Wha- are you planning on going to this one, how are you going to explain this to your family. I mean you blew off your own Aunt’s wedding.

"I know. I know. I wasn’t ready back then, but I think I can do this now. All I know is that I can’t keep hiding from the world up here in Antarctica."

Faith laughing interrupted, "it’s not that cold up here."
All I know is if I was at home I would have been at the beach this afternoon.

"What about Spike?"

"What about him?"

"Can you handle seeing him again?"

"Well I’ll find that out when I go now won’t I?" Buffy said sharply. She sighed and looked at her friend apologetically. "Hey, I’m sorry. But I’m serious. I- I’m going home."

Chapter 23

Buffy walked off the plane and the first thing she noticed was the heat, the glorious, stifling California heat. Just a few hours ago she was chipping ice from the windshield of her Bug and cursing herself because she’d lost one of her mittens. But now, joy of joys, she was in a freakin’ tube top! Her state of dress was enough to put a bounce in her step and it even helped her forget why she was back in good ole sunny California. Well, maybe not completely forget.

Buffy made her way to the baggage claim and she nervously worried the inside of her mouth. Coming to Sunnydale seemed like such a great idea in Cleveland but now, well now she wasn’t so sure. "Buffy?" She spun around and saw her mother standing apprehensively behind her. The two women stood and for a moment just looked at one another. Suddenly she was in her mother arms and they both cried.

While Buffy and her mother cried across town Angel and Spike went for their final fitting. Both men smiled as they admired their reflection. Angel had been given the unpleasant task of telling Spike that Buffy would be in town for the ceremony. The dark haired man dreaded telling his friend, fearing his reaction.

"So what’s wrong." Spike asked suddenly. He turned to watch his friend silently pull at his tie. Spike notice Angel taking pains not to make eye contact with him. "The cheerleader not pregnant is she? We’re still trying on these bloody monkey suits, so your not getting cold feet. So what’s the pro--."

"Buffy’s coming to the wedding." Angel stared at Spike, waiting for the explosion that came whenever Buffy’s name was mentioned. But none came. "Did you hear what I said. Buffy’s back in town and she’s not only coming to the wedding but she’s going to be in the wedding party."

Spike caught Angel’s eye in the mirror and with a shrug of his shoulders simply replied, "so?"



"SO?!!" He said, so?" Later that evening Cordelia asked her soon to be husband incredulously. "Did you explain to him in little words that he would be seeing her a lot over the next week. And that he can’t be mean to her or make her cry or anything?"

"Yes, Cordy," Angel said with a sigh. "I told him that. He just said so and then he asked me about the band."

"The band?"

"Yes Cordy, the band.” He repeated patiently. “ I was so thankful that he wasn’t making a big deal out of the whole Buffy thing that I agreed that he can sing with them at the reception."

"You WHAT??" Cordelia screeched.

"Now that’s the reaction I was expecting from Spike." Angel laughed as he dodged the pillow Cordelia tossed at him. He leap and gathering her in his arms began kissing her. Soon Spike and Buffy were the last thing on the brunette couples minds.


Cordelia and Willow sat in an almost deserted Bronze.
The girls were going to meet with Buffy but they wanted to discuss the possible Buffy/Spike situation before she came. "So, that’s a good thing right?" Willow asked over the sounds of Oz and the band warming up in the background. "He doesn’t care that she’s in town. That he’s going to be around her. I mean before he couldn’t even stay in the same room with her. So, one down right?"

"Oh, I don’t believe him." She waved a hand dismissive at her friend. "Remember I had a front row seat to ‘Spike, the Drunken Ass’. I see that I’m going to have to handle those two myself. Obviously Angel didn’t know what to look for or what to ask. You know what they say, ‘never send a man’. All I know is if they ruin my wedding, so help me, there will be hell to pay." She took a long sip of her drink and continued, "Besides I have to talk to Spike anyway. I have to tell him that he is not allowed to rock out with my band."

"Do I even want to know what you are talking about?" Willow asked.

As the two young women laughed over the idea of Spike trying to get the string quartet Cordelia hired to do a medley of Clash, Buffy quietly slipped in the door. Back in their senior year Willow and Cordelia would have never been accused of being close, but it was obvious that the years had been kind to the pair. While Buffy was running and licking her wounds in Cleveland, life went on without her. She sighed and wiped a tear from her eye. At the table Willow said something really funny as Cordelia threw her head back with laughter. Buffy covered her mouth as a small sob erupted from her throat. It had been an emotional taxing day for the tiny blond, and she was rethinking this reunion when Willow caught sight of her.

"Buffy!" she yelled jumping up from the table. Cordelia whipped her head around and seeing Buffy in the doorway followed the redhead. Willow wrapped her arms around one side of her high school friend and Cordelia the other. "I missed you so much, Buffy."

Cordelia grabbed hold of Buffy’s hand and the trio made their way back to the table. "How was your trip, Buffy. When I saw the weather I was worried that you’d get snowed in again."

"Oh no, she was going to make this wedding, even if I had to drive to Cleveland myself to get her. I need my bridesmaid and the groomsmen numbers to be even." Cordelia smiled warmly at her long distance friend.

"Oh Cordy, I can’t be in the wedding! It’s in a week and I don’t even have a dress! I mean my hair," She ran her fingers through her blond mane and then looked down at her hands, "my nails! I figured I would just going to be a guest. I’m sure there are girls you’re closer to then me that are just dying to be in Cordelia Chase’s wedding of the century!"

Buffy stared at Cordelia as she again reached for her hand. "Honey, I didn’t want to get married without one of my very best friends right by my side." Buffy eyes teared up and she hugged her friend tight.

"I was so scared ," Buffy whispered. "The whole way over here I wondered if you guys hated me."

"Buffy, why would you think we’d hate you," Willow asked.

"I don’t know," Buffy wiped her nose on a napkin Cordelia handed to her. "I know you two were upset with me because we were suppose to do the whole college thing. Instead I chose to go clear across the country." Buffy looked down at her hands as she nervously shred the napkin. "I read all the letters you guys sent me and I know I could have written more myself. But everything just hurt."

"Why didn’t you just say that. We would have understood." Willow looked over to Cordelia. "Well I would have understood, at least." Buffy gave her a watery smile.

"When that whole mess with--um. When I decided to--you know, leave," Buffy sighed trying to get her emotions under control. "It was just so hard after Spike found out the truth. Up here," Buffy tapped her forehead, "I knew I should have rode it out. But here," her hand rested on her breast, "It was easier to deal away from everyone and everything."

"But did you really deal with it in Cleveland. The letters that I read were always so sad. When the last time you went out on a date, did anything fun?" Cordelia asked. "We would have helped you, Buffy. I mean Willow, Xander, Angel--"

"Would have felt sorry for me," Buffy finished. "You guys would have watched everything I say and did, whispering about me whenever I left the room. ‘Look at poor Buffy. Got what she deserved.’ I just couldn’t deal with your pity. It was stupid to think that whole Spike thing was going to work out but I love--loved him very much." Buffy caught Cordelia quirking her eyebrow in Willows direction. "Wow, was that a Freudian slip or what?" Buffy laughed sadly. "I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t still have feeling for him, even after all this time. That I’m completely terrified of looking up and actually seeing him instead of imaging it."

"Buffy, um, you do realize that Spike is seeing someone. Has been seeing her for over a year. They are pretty committed, hon."

I figured that much, I mean he wouldn’t have spent that much time mourning a kid, right?" Buffy asked bitterly. The three sat for a moment in silence when Buffy questioned. "What is she like?"

Cordelia turned briefly to Willow who began slowly," Well I never spent a lot of time with Spike to begin with. And, um once he moved out I saw him even less."

Willow looked at Cordelia to continue.
"Even though Angel and Spike are close their friendship seems to be stronger when they are, how can I put this, ---apart. Spike comes over to dinner occasionally but to be honest with you, I’ve only met her four or five times and she was always pretty quiet."

"She’s very smart, she’s in the PhD. program over at Sunny U. I think she’s from Texas--kinda on the scrawny side, if you ask me,’ Willow added.

"Is she nice? Does she make him happy?" Buffy whispered.

"Honestly, Spike never seemed to do the whole happy thing. Snarky, yes; English, of course, but happy?" Willow rambled. "Cordy, would you use the word happy to describe Spike?"

Cordelia ignored Willow’s question. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Buffy. She sighed and said softly, "he’s happy Buffy. He’s happy. I don’t think Spike will ever be caught doing the Snoopy dance. But Fred and him have a good thing.

Buffy blinked and a solitary tear escaped. "Well then I’m glad. He deserves to be happy."

Chapter 24


Buffy walked into her mother's house feeling emotional drained. At first it was difficult for the trio to find their rhythm in conversation. But each woman quickly realized that their friendship was worth working through. Buffy honestly didn't know whether she did more laughing or crying tonight.

“How did it go?” Joyce slowly emerged from the darkened kitchen. In her hands there was a cup of steaming hot chocolate. “Did you three work out whatever you needed to work out?” Buffy stopped and studied her mom in the pale moonlight streaming through the window. The bitterness of being left out of her daughter's life was evident in Joyce's voice.

Buffy smiled sadly. “Mom, I need to tell you what happened my senior year.” She lead her mother back into the kitchen. The two women stopped and stood at opposite ends of the island in the center of the room. Joyce dropped her eyes first. Buffy felt her own eyes fill with unshed tears. It was at that moment that Buffy understood just how hard it had been for her mother these last few years. Joyce busied herself straighting the sparse counter top. “Mom,” Buffy stayed Joyce's hands. “Is there more of that stuff around?” She asked as her eyes drifted down to her mother's mug sitting forgotten between them.

“I have the instant packets. I um, I stop buying, well you know, you left and all.” Joyce tapered off with a shrug. Both women thought back to the time when late night sharing was a common practice.

Buffy sighed. “There was this guy.” she began.

The next morning she woke to the smell of coffee wafting up from the kitchen. She stuck a sleep tousle head out from under her blanket. Buffy stretched slowly as the warm California sun lit up her childhood room. She stumbled to her bathroom and started the shower. As Buffy washed up she when through her checklist of things necessary for the wedding. “First thing first I have to see Mr. Lee,” she whispered wiggling her toes in the water. Somewhere a phone rang.

Joyce stuck her head in the steamy bathroom and said, “Coffee's on if you want a cup and Willow is on the phone. You want me to tell her to call you back?”

Buffy rinsed the conditioner out of her hair and peeked out at her mother. “Mom tell her that I'll call her when I get out of the shower.” She closed the curtain only to open it again. “Mommy, can I have some pancakes for breakfast.” Joyce held her daughter's eyes for a moment and smiled softly.

“Of course. How about some sliced apples and cinnamon to go on top.”

“Yum, I am so done with my shower.” Buffy turned off the water and reached for her towel. She stepped gingerly out of the tub. Buffy took the second towel offered by her mother and asked, “can I have some bacon with those pancakes?”

“Don't push it.” Joyce answered.

Buffy sat at the table working her way through her second helping of pancakes. Joyce sat across from her wayward daughter enjoying her coffee. “So Buffy, what are your plans for the day?”

“Well first I'm going to go to Cordy manicure guy, Mr. Lee and then I'm going to find me tanning bed. I look like I've been in Cleveland or something.” After a moment she turned serious. “Later I'm suppose to go to this party for Cordy and Angel.” Buffy tried to make light of it as she smiled weakly at her mother. The words however, hung heavy in the air.

Will you be all right with seeing this Spike person?”

I don't really have a choice in the matter, Mom,” Buffy said. “I can't avoid him forever.” She stood up and put her plate in the dishwasher. Buffy turned to look at her mom. “To be honest with you, I don't want to –avoid him that is. I can't let him keep in hiding. It's cold in Ohio.”

“What are you saying, Buffy?”

Buffy ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, “I don't know. I think all this talk of Mr. Lee has sent me over the edge.”

Joyce smiled softly at her daughter as she gathered her in her arms. “You are very strong, Buffy. I can't say that what you told me has made me happy. But hey, what can I do about the past.”

Buffy laid her head at her mother's breast as she held her tight. “I'm so sorry about everything, Mom.” she whispered. “I should have told you a long time ago. I knew it wasn't right but I loved him so much.”

“I know dear. When you're eighteen and in love nothing else matters.

“17.”

“Huh?”

“I was 17. It was worse.” Buffy said absently. Joyce winced as she thought of her only child trying to navigate a relationship with a grown man. No wonder she was so hurt when it didn't work out. “But I'm not seventeen any longer. I am an adult now and I can handle seeing my ex as one.”

I hope so. Joyce thought as she silently watched Buffy picked up the phone to call Willow.

Later that evening after a day of pampering, Buffy sat in her mother's car outside Cordelia’s and Angels apartment. She'd been sitting there for nearly a half hour, and was no closer to getting out then when she pulled up. It had been so long since she actually seen Spike and to do it in front of an audience was going to be a daunting task. “What the hell were you thinking, Summers?” she muttered.

'tap, tap, tap'

Buffy jumped at the noise and turned to look at the small dark haired woman smiling outside the car. She cracked the window and the woman asked, “Are you alright?”

She cringed and replied, “I kinda zoned out there for a minute,” Buffy stole a glance at her watch, “or thirty,” she mumbled.

“Are you here for the party?” She pointed over her shoulder at the house.

“Yeah, I went to school with the bride to be. I'm just getting my nerve up. I've been out of town for a few years.” The raven haired girl looked on sympathetically. “You know out of the loop and all that.”

“I'm was running late. So if it helps we can go in together.” She ran her hand down her flat stomach, smoothing her dress. “I've always found that the best way to get back into the loop is with a friend.

Buffy smiled, feeling at ease for the first time the whole evening. There was something very sweet about this young woman. She opened her car door and grabbing her purse the two made their way to the house. Buffy stole glances at her new friend. Her warm chestnut hair was piled in a sloppy bun at the nape of her neck. Her brown eyes were kind. Perch on her small nose sat a pair of owlish glasses. Although slightly taller then Buffy she had a very small frame and she carried herself with the poise of a dancer. As the walked up the stairs Buffy turned to her companion saying, “by the way, my name is Buffy Summers.” She extended her hand.

“Oh, I knew who you were, silly.” She turned to Buffy and rolling her eyes heavenward grasped the extended hand and said, “Where on earth are my manners! My name is Winifred Burkle. But you can just call me Fred.

“Of course.” Buffy whispered as the door opened and a pale Cordelia stood in the entrance.

“I, uh see you two have met.”

Chapter 25


Willow sprinted to the door grabbing Buffy's arm. “I told you we should have come together,” she whispered once she pulled her away from the stunned hostess. Buffy looked behind her and Fred gave her a little friendly wave and shrug of her shoulder. As Willow rushed her to the back of the house, Buffy caught glimpses of vaguely familiar faces. The guy she sat behind in Biology, that girl who for a whole summer ate only mayonnaise sandwiches, and if she wasn't mistaken she saw good old Michael Mountcastle over in corner talking to Xander. It was like some demonic version of 'This Is Your Life'. Her eyes jumped from person to person till they came to rest a shock of white blond hair. Until that moment Buffy believed that seeing Spike after all this time would be heart wrenching and angst filled.

It wasn't.

Actually, she felt a small smile pull on her lips at the sight of him. Before Willow spirited her away Buffy believed she saw him smile in return. “Oh sweetie,” Willow exclaimed once they arrived in the kitchen. “Are you alright?” Buffy replayed the last moments over in her head. Was that a ghost of a smile on his face or was it wishful thinking? “Huh, Buffy, hello?” Willow placed a gentle hand on her friend's shoulder “Did she say anything to you? You know, nasty?”

“No she was very pleasant. That whole knowing who I was the whole time, kinda freaks me out but other then that.” Buffy trailed off.

Willow waited for Buffy to finish her thought and when it became apparent that she wasn't, she said, “what about umm Spike?”

Buffy looked up at her friend as if just noticing her for the first time. “No really, I'm fine. Go back to Oz. I'm just going to sneak up the the bathroom.” After Willow slipped out of the kitchen Buffy made her way up the stairs to the second floor. At the top of the landing she came upon voices behind a closed door, just as she was going to step away she heard her name.”

“--Buffy had done? Why would you do that?” she heard Spike ask.

She leaned in to hear Fred's response. “I just wanted to talk to her before she knew who I was. The ex is always different around the current.” There was a pause as the duo moved around behind the closed door. “She seemed very nice. Not at all what I expected.”

“And what would that be, Pet?”

“Oh, I don't know. More calculating, I guess. I mean it does take a certain kind of teen to seduce a grown man. Lolita, anyone?” Buffy closed her eyes to the words that were being thrown so casually around about her character. But God help her she couldn't walk away.

“Don't be so hard on the girl. She was very young and I am a right sexy beast .”

“Well, as long as she knows that you are my right sexy beast we'll have no problems.”

“Am I now,” he mumbled before silence over came the room.

Buffy stepped silently away from the door. Suddenly coming to the party, coming to California, everything was a stupid idea. “I gotta get out the hell out of here.” She thought rushing back to the kitchen. Buffy made a beeline to the back door.

As Buffy stumbled downstairs the couple once again started talking. “So what happened to you tonight. You were suppose to be here hours ago.

“I'm sorry I'm so late.” Fred said as she stepped away from the Englishman. “I had a meeting with one of my Professors tonight.”

Spike eyes flinted as he responded, “Let me guess, Professor Wyndam-Price?” Spike turned away from Fred and ran his hands through his short hair. “You know how I feel about you spending time with that Git.”

Fred's took a deep breath and said nervously, “I know how you feel about Wesley—err Professor Wyndam-Price. But what choice do I have?” She tentatively reached for Spike but he stiffen under her touch. She lower her hand. Fred knew that she was going to have to handle this very carefully. If Spike was upset about her meeting with Wesley, when he found out what they met about he was going to hit the roof. Maybe she'd tell him when they got home.

“How would you feel if I was spending my free time with my ex?” Spike spun and said with a smirk, “Maybe I'll go downstairs and Buffy and I can have a go at it!”

Fred folded her arms and after a cleansing breath said slowly, “Wesley and I are done. We can't keep having this same argument over and over again, Spike.” Spike lower his eyes and mirror her posture. “Hey, I'm with you now.” This time when she reached for him he didn't pull away. Fred knew it was a truce and a tentative one at that. And although they were holding each other tight they were both miles away.

Meanwhile Buffy took a deep breath of fresh air as she stood in the back yard. She looked up at the window of the room she left Spike and Fred in.

Sighing, she checked for her mother's car keys. “That was quick.” Buffy spun around to see a tall black man smiling at her.

“Can I help you?” she asked curtly.

“No,” he took a step towards her. “I just came out to get some air. Seen your big entrance in there. Feeling pretty special to be a witness to your slinking away.” Again with the friendly grin.

Buffy stood dumbfound. After a tense moment she sputtered. “Who the hell are you? You don't even know me.”

He took another step towards her. “Please forgive me. I've heard so much about you that I feel that I do. My name is Professor Woods---Robin.” He extended his hand and for a minute it seemed Buffy was going to let it hang there. Then she tentatively shook his hand.

“You know it's really starting to weird me out to have strangers know so much about me!” she said through clenched teeth as she dropped his hand. “So Professor, what is it that you think you know about the elusive Buffy Summers?” Buffy shifted her weight and folded her hands, waiting.

“I know she's a girl with some serious abandonment issues. And that she repeatedly gets into relationships that reinforce those issues. She should really see someone about that. I mean why else would you, I mean she start a relationship with a man 10 years her senior?” Looking at her sadly, he shook his head. “You honestly couldn't have thought it was to end well.” he whispered.

“Who the hell are you?” She breathed taking a step back.

He smiled at her and raising his hand replied, “Believe it or not, I'm a friend. Here. Let's start over. Hi,” he once again offered his hand. “my name is Robin—just plain Robin. And you?”

“Here you are.” Both Buffy and Robin turned to the red head at the door. “I've been looking all over the place for you. I see you've met the Professor.” Willow's smiled dropped. “Am I interrupting something?”

Buffy took a shaky step away and said, “No, the Professor---Robin and I were just talking.” She turned towards Robin and continued, “You never told me what you're a Professor of.”

“Psychology”

“Figures,” she muttered.

Robin threw his head back and laughed heartily. He placed his hand on the small of her back and led the ladies to the house. “Lets get back to the party, shall we?” Buffy hesitated for a moment and then let the handsome man lead her.

Once they were at the party Robin asked, “Do you ladies wanted something to drink?”

“I would like a white wine,” she said absently. She unconsciously scanned the room for Spike

“He's not here,” Robin leaned in and whispered. He walked away chuckling.

“I don't like him,” she stated matter of factly.

“Who,” Willow asked stepping up to Buffy munching on a carrot. “Professor Woods? Oh he's wonderful Buffy. Everyone just loves him. Wait till you get to know him.”

“I was just wondering how Robin knew so much about me.” Willow mumbled something incoherent around her carrot and looked relieved when Cordelia joined them.

“Look Buffy, it's Cordelia!” Willow nervously smiled. “I'm sure Cordelia wouldn't want to scene. Nope. She'd want a scene free party. Sceneless .

“Don't you dare go all Vengeance Demon on me, Buffy! You promised.” Cordelia said pointing at her. “ I told you she was going to be here.” Angel walked up to the ladies and after placing a kiss on Cordy's cheek she said to him. “I told her she was going to be here.”

“Yeah she told you.”

“Shut up Angel.” Buffy said to him. Turning towards Cordelia she continued, “It's not them, it's--”

“It's me.” Robin interrupted.

“Yeah, it's a world of him,” Buffy agreed.

“Thank God,” Cordelia breathed.

Looking very confused Angel asked, “What the hell is going on?”

“Well I caught young Miss Summers running away,” Robing began.

“You were going to leave without telling us?” Cordelia asked sadly. Willow looked on disappointedly.

“I briefly entertained the thought,” Buffy said defensively.

“Like I said, she was entertaining the thought of leaving.” Buffy glowered at Robin as he continued. “When I swooped in and saved the day. I explained that running away was not the best choice to dealing with her umm issues.” Robin paused to look over Buffy's head and said in a lowered voice, “oh look, issue One and issue Two.” Buffy turned towards where Robin was looking and once again found herself locked into a pair of familiar blue eyes. “You know to truly move on, you're going to have to confront him. Closure and all that,” he continued in a smooth voice.

“He's not going to want to –why am I talking to you about this,” she growled. “If you would excuse me, I'm going to talk to Mayonnaise girl.”

“What?” Angel watched the small blond disappear into the crowd. “Thank God. That's one chick I'm glad I never dated. She's weird,” he took his finance's hand and smiling, kissed it.

Buffy divided up the remainder of the evening catching up with everyone's life (mayonnaise girl's name was Debbie) and unconsciously watching Spike. Watching Spike talk, watching Spike laugh, watching Spike eat, watching Spike hold another the way he once held her. Maybe seeing him was going to be a little heart wrenching and a tad angst-filled. As the evening progressed Buffy found herself in a melancholy mood and maybe a little drunk. She tapped the shoulder of a blond stranger talking to a small group next to her. “I have a boyfriend too! His name is Jason.” The blond looked at her friends and snickering the group moved away from Buffy. O K, maybe more then a little drunk, she thought as she placed her empty wine glass on a passing waiters tray.

“Oh my head.” she moaned grabbing her head tenderly. Buffy sat down heavily on the nearest chair.

“Are you happy now?”

She sighed and squinted up at the man a very young girl once believed was her fairytale. “Hello Spike.”

Chapter 26


All around them conversations continued, life went on. A small part of Buffy's mind felt that there should have been a collective gasp, a turning of a few heads, or at the very least a whisper or two behind raised hands.

Maybe she hadn't grown up as much as she believed.

“Hello Buffy,” he continued to look at her. Up close he still had the same piercing blue eyes but where once they were bare to her they seemed cautious and closed to her now.

Not feeling comfortable under his sudden inspection coupled with too much alcohol, Buffy found herself suddenly angry. “Where's your girlfriend?” She barbed out before she could stop herself.

“Who, Fred?” He asked cautiously. “She has an early class in the morning.” They once again lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.

“So what? Now that your girlfriend's gone, you find me?” Spike's eyes hardened. Buffy knew she was being argumentative but the conversation she overheard between Spike and Fred was suddenly fresh in her mind.

“No I was being sensitive to her feelings regarding you and I and what we use to have. In reality, I'm just here trying to make nice for the cheerleader's sake.”

What about my feelings she wondered bitterly. “Oh, is this the part where we ask how life' s treating one another and we smile and pretend everything is resolved?”

“Pet, err Buffy everything is resolved for me.” Spike said softly.

Buffy flinched. Standing she clasped her hands behind her back, but not before Spike noticed the tremor in her hands. He wondered briefly why it bothered him. “I'm glad to hear that”, she sighed sadly. “You know what? I'm suddenly very tired. Tell Cordelia and Angel I said goodnight, please”. She picked up her bag and pausing turned back to him. “For what it worth, I never meant to deceive you. I just needed to tell you that. Truthfully, in the beginning the age thing--- didn't mean too much, but by the time it started to matter it was to late. I couldn't think of a way to tell you, plain and simple. I know that you don't believe me but I really did love you and I wanted to spent the rest of,” she stopped and smiled sadly. “I guess it really doesn't matter anymore what I wanted, huh?” He reached out for her but after a moment dropped his hand. As she hurried away Spike realized that he wasn't ready for her to leave.

Refusing to ask himself why, he followed Buffy out. “You don't get to do that.” Sighing she stopped on the lawn without turning around. “You don't get to make your little speech and then get a dramatic exit.” Buffy slowing turned to face him. “Yea, maybe I have something to say to you. You ever think of that?”

Buffy looked at him with wide angry eyes. “Don't- you- dare--!!” she began.

Don't I dare what?” he asked quickly.

“Why you aggravating!!--” She threw her head heavenward and growled in frustration. “I always wanted to talk, Spike. God! I wanted to work us out. I killed myself trying to get you to just talk to me.” She march towards him and poked him in the center of his chest. “You're the one that made sure that That Night was our last conversation.”

“That Night should never have happened Buffy.” He bit out. “You were just a silly girl playing silly girl games.”

“That's not true and you know it” Buffy fought to keep her tears from falling. “Did you ever love me?” she whispered.

Spike turned from her and after a moment said softly, “it was a long time ago, Pet. Does it really matter?”

“Of course it does.”

“Why?”

“It just does!” she yelled.

“Well I don't like thinking about that--time.” She looked at him with wide eyes. “What did you expect Buffy, you made a fool of me.”

Buffy felt her heart breaking all over again. She watched as Spike fought to keep his emotions under control. A sorrowful smile played on her lips. “See that's just it, that was never my intention.” Buffy closed the distance between them once again as she stepped to him and said, “I loved you, Spike. Every moment you were away from me I missed you. Even now, after all this time I look at you--” Buffy closed her eyes and shook her head laughing bitterly. “Wow, I need to go home before I embarrass myself any more. Spike I would like for us to at least be friends. Can I have that at least?”

Spike shook his head sadly saying, “We're not friends, We'll never be friends.”

After searching his eyes, wordlessly she left. This time he didn't follow her.


He was in the backyard when Angel came out later that night. Angel watched the glow of the cigarette for a moment before saying, “Those things are going to kill you someday.” Spike waited for his former flatmate to settle down next to him. The two sat and listened as the party continued in the house.

“Damn woman.” He said dropping the cigarette butt.

Angel smiled softly, “What did you do? I thought you promised Cordelia you where gonna play nice?”

“I didn't do anything. I said some things and she said some things—then I said some more things and she left.”

“Did you make her cry? Please tell me she wasn't crying.” Angel growled at his former flatmate and said with his teeth clenched, “What the hell Spike, you promised you wouldn't cause any trouble.”

“Don't worry Peaches. Buffy's not going anywhere. Anyway it had to happen—her and I. There was things that needed to be said, by both of us.” Spike lapsed into silence but Angel knew that his former flatmate had something else on his mind. He waited quietly for Spike to speak, and he didn't have to wait long. “Now don't read anything into this but I just wonder, for a moment—when I saw her. When she first walked in the door it was like these last few years—never happened. Just for a moment I was glad to see her. And then she looked at me and smiled...”

Angel watched him as he drifted away, a small smile on his lips. He wondered briefly how long Fred would be around. To bad, she was a nice girl.

Spike cleared his throat and continued, “It was only for a moment. Then Red dragged her away and then—bloody hell! That's why I don't tell you anything. Stop smiling at me like that!” Spike stood up and glaring at Angel said “Sod off you bloody tosser. It meant nothing.”

“Of course not--”

“It was only for a moment. I have a wonderful bird at home,” he continued.

Angel nodded.

“Who I think is sleeping with that Professor again.” Spike mumbled.

Slowly Angel smile slid from his face and he stood up. “Professor Wyndam-Price?”

“The one and bloody only.” Spike placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. “She says that nothing is going on but there is something she's not telling me. If she's not sleeping with him what on earth could it be?”

Behind them the door was suddenly thrown opened. “There you are!” Both men turned to look at Cordelia standing in the doorway. “Is everything alright.”

“Everything is--”

“Uhh honey I was talking to Spike.” she said smiling frostily. “Now there was no tears, right Spike. I don't to have to go all the way to Ohio to get my bridesmaid back, do I?”

Spike chuckled and running his hand through his hair said, “No Pet. She'll keep. Although you probably will be getting a phonecall tomorrow.”

Cordelia smiled knowingly and said, “I would have expected no less.” Angel walked towards his future wife as she continued, “Are you coming back in?”

Spike shook his head and stepped off the porch. “No, I think I'll be heading home. Goodnight.”
Spike turned and walked slowly away. Cordelia reached for her lover's hand and gave it a squeeze.

Chapter 27

Spike walked to his car lost in thought. On one hand he had Fred, who he'd been in a commitment relationship with for well over a year. And admittedly they've had their problems, but Spike was willing to work on fixing them. He just didn't understand her unwillingness to walk away from Professor Wyndam-Price. Spike got in the car and headed home. Fred assured him that there was nothing going on between her and Professor Wyndam-Price. Spike however, being hard pressed to call her a liar had caught the way Professor Wyndam-Price looked at her when he didn't think anyone would notice.

Spike ignored the little voice that questioned why he was still in this relationship. Especially with Buffy back in the picture. He had to admit she looked glorious tonight. As he stole glances of her throughout the evening he had on more then one occasion the urge to just walk up to her and wrap his arms around her. To press her body to his and envelope himself in her scent. But he didn't-- couldn't. He thought back and realized that he didn't even touch her once. He didn't think he could control himself if he did. He missed the feel of her, the scent of her, the taste of her. His mind briefly touch on Dru...Harmony. He wondered not for the first time, his choices in partners. Was there something in him that sought out these unhealthy relationship? Did he like the pain? Even now, with Fred.... Spike sighed as his car roared down the boulevard.

When Spike pulled up to his house he saw that Fred had left a light on for him and felt a flood of affection for the southern girl. Yeah, Buffy was part of his past, he was with Fred now. Spike did he best to ignore that little voice that protested.

****In the doorway Buffy stood smiling softly, her golden hair loose on her shoulders. The morning sun shone all around her, bathing her in it's light. She was leaning casually against the wall arm folded Buffy regarded him and after a moment she reached out silently to him and without question without hesitation, he went to her. As if for the first time he breathed a ragged breath. Her scent was intoxicating and her bronze skin was warm to his touch as he ran is hands up from around her waist to cup her face. His voice caught in his throat as he whispered, “I've been dead for so long.” Buffy eyes danced with joy as she leaned in towards him.****

Spike woke with a start and her name on his lips. He looked around hoping Fred hadn't heard him. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the shower. “One night. It took you one night and your back. Get out of my head Buffy,” Spike whispered to himself. “Get out of my bloody head.” He brought his hands up to face and fell back on his pillow. In the bathroom with the shower running forgotten, Fred stood wrapped in her towel, tears in her brown eyes.





Later that day Buffy once again found herself at the Sunnydale Mall. She was meeting Xander and his new girlfriend for lunch. Both Willow and Cordelia tried to warn her about Anya. But listening to Xander talk about her the night before, she knew that he was serious about this one. Buffy's steps slowed as she walked past Kam’s Naughty Girl. She peered through the window watching the women pawing though the various undergarment. She felt her face get warm thinking of the last time she was in that stupid store.

***The pretty blond walked up to Buffy and smiled. “Can I help you find something, miss?”

Buffy turned and meekly said “I want to get something special for my boyfriend.” She picked up two different sets, “I mean do I go for virginal,” her eyes rested on the white nightie, “or do I go for the hottie.” She smiled down at the black lace number.

“Well my suggestion is to think of your guy. What kind of night are we talking about.” To Buffy panicked expression she hastily added, “Oh I understand what you have planned. What I'm asking is what kind of memory will this be. Every time you look at the outfit you're going to think of the first time you wore it. That look on his face the first time he sees you in it.” Buffy smile shyly “Now, which one will it be?” After a moments hesitation she made her choice. The saleslady smiled back at Buffy, “Very good. Now, will that be cash or charge?”****

Buffy blinked back tears as she turned away from the window. She hurried to the food court to meet Xander and his new girlfriend. As she approached the couple Xander stood up and Anya ran a nervous hand through her chestnut hair. “Hey you,” Buffy said to the dark haired man. Turning to the nervous woman she stated, “and you must be Anya. I've, huh, heard a lot about you.”

Both of their faces fell as Anya asked quietly, “Oh, you have?”

“I'd like to start this conversation with saying, whatever they said isn't true. Well maybe a little true but out of content.” Xander sat down as Buffy joined them.

“Willow doesn't like me very much because I sleep with Xander and I enjoy it a lot. I told her if she wanted to sleep with him she should have done it before I came around, because it's too late now.” Xander sighed as he shrugged his shoulders at Buffy. “You're doing that sighy thing again.” She looked back at Buffy saying. “Xander feels that I am too open with my appreciation of all the orgasms that he gives me. When he sighs I know I should start talking about the weather or a local sports team. So Buffy, do you like the cold or the hot weather and what about that hockeyfootballbasketball game last night?”

Buffy opened her mouth to reply when Anya interjected, “Baseball. Did I say baseball too?” She turned to Xander and said “I always forget baseball. Really, I shouldn't because it is America's favorite pass time. That and sex, of course.” Buffy once again opened her mouth to respond when Anya continued, “Actually I think sex is the true all American favorite pass time. We pass a lot of time with sex. When there's nothing on TV, when I'm sad, when we are waiting for the pizza guy to--”

“Anya!” Xander said sharply, bringing a slight frown of confusion to her brow. In a softer voice he continued, “I think Buffy wanted to say something.” The duo turned their eyes towards Buffy waiting for her to speak.

“Actually, I was going to say that they hadn't said too much about Anya.” Buffy smiled sheepishly at the duo as she realized this was going to be a long lunch.

Afterwards Buffy watched as Anya and Xander walk away hand in hand. “That wasn't too bad,” she said to herself. If you could look past the x-rated language (seriously, who doesn't know that dildos weren't appropriated lunch conversation?) it was obvious that Anya was crazy for Xander, and he for her. Wow, Cordelia had Angel, Willow had Oz and even Xander had someone. Buffy tried not to feel sorry for herself as she made her way to her mom's car.

Now that she didn't have Anya and Xander to distract her, her mind went to Spike and the hurtful words he said the night before. Those words caused her tears all the way home. But now in the light of day something about the whole conversation just didn't ring true to Buffy. It was like he was trying to hurt her, to push her away. While her mind digested that thought Buffy saw a familiar brown head. Sitting in an over sized chair in a bookstore was Fred. Buffy watched as she absently flipped through a small brown book in front of her. Suddenly a strikingly handsome brown haired gentleman knelt next to her. What happened next caused Buffy to raise an eyebrow. He took Fred's hand in his and slowly stood her up. Fred then threw herself in his arms and buried her head in his chest.

Chapter 28

As the days passed, Buffy didn't see Spike often and didn't talk to him at all. It wasn't that she avoided him, there just wasn't very many occasions for their paths to cross. Buffy hadn't told anyone what she witnessed at the mall. There were times where it was on the tip of her tongue, but in the end she always kept her mouth shut. She thought about asking her mom about what she saw, not even sure she saw anything. Okay, it looked like a clandestine meeting between two lovers. But why? Because she wanted it to be? There was no fevered touches; passionate kisses. Fred was obviously upset and she was being comforted by a brother? Uncle? Cousin? Buffy didn't honestly know. By sharing was she hoping to cause a rift in Spike's relationship with Fred? Was it even her place? Did she have the right? Those question floated through her mind constantly.

Cordelia and Willow didn't speak very often of Spike, so they were of very little help. She didn't know whether it was out of sensitivity to her feelings or because he just didn't warrant very much thought; she expected it was the latter. Spike for all intents and purposes was Buffy own private obsession.

Buffy however wasn't the only one with a renewed obsession. When Spike woke from his dream of Buffy, he purposed to recommit himself to his relationship with Fred. On the surface he was the perfect partner. But he was finding himself thinking more and more often of Buffy. For the last few days Spike found himself noticing just how many blonds there were in Sunnydale. This problem was something he felt he had to work out on his own. With the wedding so close Angel was being kept busy by the cheerleader. And he had no other close friends to confide in.

And although he couldn't put his finger on what it was, he felt something was off between Fred and himself. Spike had repeatedly caught her looking at him with unreadable eyes and when he asked her about it, it was always the same: a small shake of her pretty little head and escape. Spike sighed.

“Hey, whatcha doing.” Fred asked quietly, walking in the back door. She put her purse on the counter and grabbed a tea out of the refrigerator. She sat down across from him and looked at him expectantly. Spike turned a page in the magazine sitting in front of him. Although he wasn't reading it, he stated he was. She took a small sip and smiling said, “I need to talk to you about something.” Spike opened his mouth to speak but Fred interrupted him. “Now just listen to me before you say anything.” She took a cleansing breath and laid her hand on top of his. “The grant work I have been pulling my hair out over these last months has come in. The University has offered me a position on one of their research team. It's a three month study. We'll be decoding some writings at an archaeological dig.....in England.” He sat silently absorbing what she said. Smiling weakly she hurried on, “It's a very coveted spot. You know all the nights I've been at the school, working. The weekends, well they've finally pay off for me. I wasn't even sure I was going to get it at first--”

His eyes snapped up and he bit out, “Now Fred, let's not pretend the good Professor wouldn't make sure there was a.......position open for his star pupil.”

Fred dropped his hand and jumping up yelled. “It's not like that Spike! I've worked very hard for this. You know how hard I've worked. How many times do I have to tell you, it's not like that! Wes—Professor Wyndam-Pri-- Wesley! and I have been over for a long time.”

Spike watched her as she trembled in anger and she watched him sitting there in indifference; both knowing it was over. Fred sighed and with tears in her eyes said, “Please don't make this about me not being able to separated myself from my past. I'm the one that should feel insecure, Spike.” Spike broke eye contact with her. “All this time you've been going on and on, throwing Wesley in my face. When Buffy...” Fred shook her head in frustration. “When Buffy came back, you acted like it didn't mean anything to you. When I asked you if you wanted to talk about it, you'd shut me out.”

“Because I didn't want to bloody well talk about it!” Spike yelled suddenly. “I was at the place where I thought that sodden woman was out of my blood. She comes back and I tried, Pet I truly tried. But I have everyone Peaches, Red, you---forever asking me about how I feel about Buffy back in the California, if I can deal with her in the wedding. I was finally done with her. I thought I was finally done with her.”

Fred watched as her relationship with Spike take it's last gasping breath. “You dream about Buffy every night, Spike,” she whispered. They faced off like two weathered and beaten gunfighters. Although Spike took the first shot it was Fred that fired the killing blow. Their love affair laid dead at their feet. The hum of the refrigerator was the only sound. Finally she said, “I'll send someone for my things.”

Then she was gone.

Through the window he heard Fred's car as it screeched out of his driveway. When exactly had he become such a bastard?

The Stumble Inn was one of the last bars in Sunnydale where a bloke could still have a cigarette with his pint. Spike stared into the amber liquid in front of him, but his thoughts were miles away. For the first time in a long time, he thought of Dru. Although thoughts of her bubbled up from time to time, like his thoughts of Buffy, he pushed them away.

Snorting he finished his drink. Spike signaled the bartender for another. He was so young and idealistic when he met Dru. Foolishly believing that love would conquer all. Thinking back a decade later he realized that Dru had serious mental problems. At the time he believed the lack was in him. Her instability was because of something he wasn't suppling. Her running hot and cold, the lies and deceit, because he wasn't worth the truth. After Dru repeatedly broke his heart, he promised himself to never give with such abandon again. What a unrealistic notion---to live without love. By the time he met Buffy he was so hollow inside that she was an oasis to him. Then he bollocked it all up. Pushed her away before she could toy with his heart and mess up his head like Dru did so many years ago. To get out with some semblance of dignity. What rubbish. When he heard that she'd went to school out of state, he thought it was for the best. He understood her thinking, didn't he too at one time run away?

When he met Fred he knew that although he cared for her he was holding back. That he never completely gave his heart in their relationship. And now it's lead him to this place. When had this bitterness settled in. He didn't feel enough to even care that Fred was gone. Sighing he emptied his glass and headed home.

Chapter 29

The next morning Spike woke to light streaming into his bedroom window. He frowned wondering why he woke with such a start. Then he heard it again. Someone was outside all but leaning on his door bell. He grabbed his head as he slowly sat up. He reached for the discarded jeans from the night before lying in his doorway and made his way downstairs. He slowly made his way downstairs cursing the sod that would not let up on the doorbell. “I'm coming,” he muttered angrily. He got to his door and he stared at the last person he ever expected to see. 'What the bloody hell', he wonder, as he nervously opened the door. “Now, I must have died and gone to hell.” He said in a awed voice. Buffy bit her bottom lip and took a step back and he felt instantly bad. “Sorry, that came out wrong,” he offered lamely. She continued to stare at him and he suddenly wished he'd stopped to put on a shirt. Can I help you with something?”

Buffy stepped around Spike and walked into his house. “Did you ever know something that you felt you should tell but knew that you couldn't tell? Something possibly important but it wouldn't be appreciated because of the messenger?” She spun around and earnestly looking at Spike continued “Something that was beginning to consume your thoughts making you question and second guess what kind of person you are?

“Umm no, err maybe---I don't know! What the bloody hell are you blathering on about?”Spike stood and waited for her to make sense. He was too hung over for this.

Buffy laid her purse down on his dining room table after she walked deeper in his house. She wore a cranberry top and faded jeans. His mind went back to his dream as the sun highlighted her hair. She'd let it grow out and it looked glorious. “I like your house.” she whispered running her hand over the dark wood. She looked at him again and sighed. “I'm not going back to Cleveland.”

“You are confusing the hell out of me Buffy.” He sighed wearily, “I've had a hard couple of days and I'm just not up to this.” He walked over to her unsure of what was happening. His head was pounding and he just wanted to find a bottle and get back into his bed.

Buffy straightening her back, looked up at him and continued. “I'm staying in Sunnydale. I'm not going back to Cleveland.” She ran her fingers though her hair and then dropped her hands to her side in frustration. “I miss my friends, I miss my mom, I miss California. I just wanted you to know that I won't be going back.” Buffy shrugged. “We're going to have to figure out where we stand. I can't take the idea of you hating me--”

“I don't hate you.”

“I mean I get it. Why you would hate me--”

“I don't hate you.”

“What?”

Spike sighed. “I never hated you, Buffy.” He once again raked his hands through his hair. “You want to come in the kitchen, maybe get some coffee. I mean seriously I need a cup of coffee.” Buffy looked at him and for the first time, smiled. Spike picked up a shirt from a laundry basket on the couch and put it on as he lead her to the rear of the house. Spike walked to the coffeepot and began the process of making the coffee. Buffy stood silently waiting. She wasn't sure what was happening, it was a spur of the moment decision that lead her to his doorstep in the first place. Buffy was definitely playing this morning by ear. She watched him as he reached for the filters and noticed as his eyes came to rest on a half full bottle of tea on the counter.

“It has come to my attention,” he picked up the bottle and staring at it, gentle shook it's contents. “that I may not have dealt with what happened between us.” For a moment Spike smiled sadly . He turned his blue eyes on her. Buffy returned his gaze evenly. Neither spoke for a moment. The coffee pot hiss as the kitchen slowly filled with the aroma of the brew. “I know that I've been a son of a bitch to you, Buffy. And for that I owe you an apology.” Spike leaned against the sink and continued. “At the time, I just decided that it wasn't—that we weren't that big of a thing. And that was a lie. We were a big deal and your betrayal was a big deal. But it shouldn't have ended us.”

Buffy gasped and brought her hands to cover her mouth. She took a small step towards him. Spike dropped his eyes, “We can't go back, Pet,” he said sadly.

Buffy dropped her hands to her sided and said, “No, we can't.”

Spike reached behind him and pulled a cup from the cupboard, he raised an eyebrow towards her and she walked over to sit at the kitchen table. He reached for the second cup and filled them both. After setting the carafe back he carried the two cups to the table and joined her.

Buffy sat and silently watched him. She felt her face flush with ---what? She didn't think he'd ever speak to her again and here they were talking over a cup of coffee. She searched his eyes trying to find what he wanted from her. Once she could understand everything with just one look, but now sadly, he was a stranger to her. “I'm sorry about what happened, but I can't apologize about it every time I see you. I was young and had silly imaginative beliefs about love and relationships. You know the whole 'love conquers all B.S.'” She looked away for a moment. “I won't give up my friendships and I don't want you to either. I just want to be able to be in the same room with you and you not sneer. You say that you don't hate me but my goodness, the way you look at me sometimes.....”She stopped and with shaky hands picked up her cup.

“I was angry—furious actually with you for a long time.” Buffy flinched at his words. “But I was just as angry at myself. Even after Dru---eviscerated me; I still, I still let you in so completely.” Spike suddenly stood up and turned his back to Buffy. After a moment he continued to speak. “I spent nearly six months in the bottom of a bottle after Dru. I made a promise to myself never again” He turned to look at her with haunted eyes. “And then there was you. How could I not fall in with love you, Pet?” he whispered.

“The question now is, where do we go from here?” They both looked to the other for the answer. Suddenly the doorbell rang breaking the tension as they both turned to look to the front of the house.. “Who the hell....” he muttered to himself as he went to open the door. He once again peered out his window and sighing opened the door.

“Hey, Gunn what can I help-” Spike began.

“What the hell did you do to her?” Gunn said as he loomed over the Brit. “She calls me crying, telling me she needs some things moved.” The angry man turned as Buffy made her way quietly in the room. He looked from Spike to Buffy and bit out, “Damn! Didn't take you long at all, Playah'! Baby Girl's been gone what?” He looked down at his watch-, “--twelve hours and you already moving to the next one.” Gunn walked over to Buffy and tapping his chin said, “Let me guess, Buffy? Got it in one.” He muttered to her guilty look.

Quick as lightning, Spike was between Gunn and Buffy. “Whatever is going on between Fred and me has nothing to do with her, mate, and sure as hell don't have anything to do with you.” Spike stared at Gunn until he stepped away from Buffy. “Now, you said that you're here for some of Fred's stuff, well I have a box started upstairs. Why don't you wait outside while I go get it,” Spike said to Gunn as he opened the door. Spike stood and waited for him to leave.

“Maybe I should leave too--,” Buffy began.

“No, you shouldn't, Pet. We still haven't sussed things out.” Spike replied never breaking eye contact with the black man.

“I'll just be in the,” Buffy pointed over her shoulder, “--well, I'll just be in the kitchen. Finishing my coffee,” she finished lamely. Buffy turned and walked quickly out of the room.

After she left, Spike spun towards Gunn pinning the larger man against the door. “If you ever come into my house and insult my guest again, let's just say there'll be a box upstairs with bits of Gunn in it.” Spike released him. After a moment he sighed, “I know I'm a bastard. I get it. But it's not what you think. You know me mate. I didn't do this to hurt anyone. Fred is a special--”

Gunn raised up his hand in disgust, “You know what, save it, man” Gunn straighted his jacket and continued. “I'll tell you what, why don't you finish filling up that box for Fred and I'll be back, when you're not entertaining.”

Spike closed the door and sighing looked to the kitchen. What the hell was he doing?

Chapter 30

Buffy paced across the kitchen floor absentmindedly nibbling on one of her nails. She was trying to understand what she believed she heard. What was going on with Spike and Fred? Are they fighting? Did they break up? But more importantly, where does that leave her—them? “I bet it's because of that hottie at the bookstore. Or is it because of me? Oh, let it not be because of me.” Buffy groaned.

She knew she ought not get her hopes up, but she couldn't help but smiled to herself as she thought of Spike's change in behavior towards her. He was finally willing to talk to her. She willed her face to sober up as she heard him approach.

Spike burst into the room full of nervous energy. “I'm sorry about that.” Spike made his way back to his coffee, tasting it and then putting the cup right back down. Spike began pacing back and forth across the small room as he continued. “He had no right talking to you like that. My problems with Fred have nothing to do with you.”

Spike sat in front of his coffee cup and waited for her to speak. Buffy sat back in her seat and absentmindedly stirring her coffee reminded him that she didn't know what he was talking about.

“Fred and I broke up yesterday.” He emptied his cup and stood up as if to go get another. After a moment he sat back down. Staring at the empty coffee cup he sighed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked tentatively. “We use to be able to talk--it wasn't about me or anything?” She looked at him horrified. “I hope I didn't cause you and Fred any problems, that was never my intentions.

Spike snorted and raise his hand in a dismissive wave, “no it's not about you.

“Is it about someone else and Fred” She asked quietly.

Spike turned his sharp blue eyes on her and asked, “what aren't you telling me, Buffy.”

“Well, remember when I came in before and I asked you about telling secrets?” To his blank stare she continued, “that sometime what we have to say and our motives for telling can be at war with one another. And in the end you question yourself so much and your motive can be viewed as so bad, that you end up not sharing at all?”

“Stop me if any of this is making sense.” she said sarcastically.

“Honestly I just remember you blathering on about something and you making my head hurt.” Buffy smiled at him ruefully.

“I had a moral dilemma about something that could effect your life and while I'm all with the spillage you hearing what? Bees buzzing?” She looked at him with a put upon attitude and he sheepishly shrugged his shoulders.

“Pet, I drank a lot last night.”

Buffy giggled into her hand but sobered up almost instantly thinking of Fred and her mystery man.

“Fred had—has this Professor that she just couldn't seem to get away from. They work in the same department in the same dark corners on the same dusty books and no matter how many times I told her he was still interested in her-- hell still in love with her. She wouldn't stop spending time with him. We circled this same issue repeatedly, neither willing to give up. Well last night she informed me that she and the Professor will be headed off to the mother land for three bleeding months.” Spike stopped suddenly. He gazed out the window as he whispered. “Once I asked her to go to England with me for a holiday,” he turned his blue eyes back to Buffy. “Said her schedule wouldn't allow it.” Spike looked down at the empty cup in his hands. “I need something stronger then this,” he laughed sadly.

Buffy covered his hand with her own. “I think you've had enough,” she said softly. Spike looked down at their joined hands and then up into her eyes. The double meaning was not lost on either of the blonds. Spike cleared his throat and stood up suddenly.

“What were you going on about when you came here earlier—you know the buzzing bees.” he asked busying himself cleaning up the table.

Buffy smiled at him sarcastically before answering, “you know what, it's no big deal. Forget about it.” She looked down at her watch and started, “Crap! I got to go. I promised to meet Cordelia for lunch. And you know how the princess doesn't like to be kept waiting.” She turned to grab her bag. Spike place a hand on her shoulder and she said, “thanks for everything..... This was nice, kinda like before....everything.” Buffy voice trailed off as they stood in staring at each other.

“Are you gonna finish that,” Buffy asked in a quiet voice. Spike looked down at the bottle of warm tea in his hand.

He turned the bottle over in his hands a few times and tossing it in the garbage answered “No I do believe I'm finished with it.” He smiled at her softly and walked her to the door.

Spike opened the door and before Buffy walked through she stopped and looked at him for a moment. “What?” he breathed.

“Nothing....I guess I'll just umm talk to you later.” The door clicked softly behind Buffy, as she made her way down the stairs. She was sure to make her steps casual. “Just take your time, girl,” she sung quietly to herself. “Slow and steady, no big deal.” When she stopped at her car, she peeked looked over her shoulder. All was still save the curtain in the bay window. Did the curtain move or was it just the wind? Buffy let her hair fall across her face to hide the small smile that played on her lips. Just then her phone rang, snapping her back to the present. “Way to ruin a moment, Cordy,” she muttered as she hopped in her car assuring the former beauty queen she was on her way.

From inside the house Spike let the curtain fall back into place as he watched Buffy speed off. Shaking his head he walked upstairs to shower.

Chapter 31

Buffy's lunch date with Cordelia turned in to a afternoon of leisure for the pair. Willow had opted to stay home with Oz instead of going with the duo, complaining of a upset stomach. After lunch Cordelia and Buffy did a little shopping and then treated themselves to some time at the spa. Buffy toyed with the idea of telling her about her visit with Spike but with the wedding fast approaching, Cordelia was just too distracted to be of any help to Buffy. Besides, Buffy kinda enjoyed the secret of it all and she wanted it to be just hers for a little while longer. She knew that the idea of her and Spike starting anything again, no matter how innocent, so close to the wedding would spell unnecessary stress for the former cheerleader. After a pore cleansing body wrap and a deep tissue massage, the ladies parted.

Buffy all but floated up her driveway later that evening. Humming a happy tune she quietly opened the front door and saw her mother sitting on the couch reading a book. “Hey stranger,” her mother whispered setting the paperback aside. “I haven't seen you since this morning.”

Buffy sighed and sat down next to her mom. Her body practically vibrated with happiness. She laid her head on her mother's shoulder and sighed again. “What, may I ask, happened to you? Why are you in such a sickenly blissful mood?” Joyce looked at her daughter's joyful face and beamed. It was so nice to see Buffy again and even nicer to see the happiness return with her. For to long she was in this big house all alone. Some nights it was so quiet that she'd thought she'd go insane. Sure she had Xander come by for dinner when his father's drinking was too much for him to deal with, and Willow would occasionally check up on her, but it wasn't the same as having someone to care for and watch over.

“I'm just so glad to be back home.” Buffy simply stated. “Can't a girl miss her mommy.”

Joyce put her arms around her only child and squeezed. “Of course a girl can miss her mommy. I just think there's more to this sudden burst of joyfulness.”

“Maybe,” Buffy said coyly.

“Alright, who is he?” Joyce looked at her daughter and quirked her eyebrow.

“Well, Spike and I--”she began.

Joyce leaned back and stared at her daughter, “Oh Buffy!” she groaned. “Please tell me you haven't started up with that man again! There's just too much pain there.” Joyce thought back to those final weeks before Buffy went to Ohio. The muffled tears behind closed door. The pleading for her daughter to just talk to her, to tell her what was going on. The fear that the Buffy that she knew was lost to her, never to return again.

Buffy jumped up and spun to face her mother. “I went to his house this morning.” She cut her mother off with a gesture, “—just to talk. Clear the air, so to speak and we just...reconnected.” Buffy knelt at her mother's feet and grasped her hands. “Mom, he still cares, I know he does.”

“Oh honey, I don't doubt that he does care for you still. No one holds on to that much resentment unless they do. I just wonder can you go back, is it worth the effort.” Joyce cupped her daughter's face and kissed her forehead. “I just don't want to see him hurt you again. I—I mean, what if--”

Buffy threw herself in her mother's arm. “I'm not going to run away.” she whispered. “I'll never do that to you again, mom.” Buffy looked into her mom's fearful teary eyes and once again felt she had so much to make up for. Buffy slid off Joyce's lap never taking her head from her shoulder. They sat that way till Buffy phone began to ring. “Let it go to voicemail,” Buffy mumbled, never lifting her head.”

Joyce chuckled and replied, “No, that's alright. See who it is while I start dinner, Okay?” She glanced at the mantle clock and said to herself, “maybe I'll just order out instead.” She turned to Buffy and mouthed “Chinese or Mexican?”

Buffy placed her cell phone to her chest and said, “Do you mind if I take a rain check?” She looked at her mother with pleading eyes and pouted lips. Joyce rolled her eyes as Buffy smiled in response. “I'm going to take this upstairs,” she breathed, as she hurried up to her room.

Once she was in the privacy of her bedroom Buffy's grin widen as she dropped her bags on her desk. She slide on top her bed and said, “wow, I really didn't expect to hear from you again.”

Spike stood on the back deck looking out at the last of the setting sun. He had been busy ever since she left him earlier that day. He had begun the painful task of moving Fred's things out the night before. But that really just consisted of him dumping a few thing in a box and then going out to get plastered. After Buffy's visited he went back to collecting Fred's things, once of course he realized he wasn't going to be able to return to sleep. As the day grew later, Spike had a revelation. Why bother? He got his phone and left Fred what he hoped was a non-combative message telling her that the moving out of her things was going to fall on her shoulders. He patted himself on the back for not mentioning all the willing help she would probably have in a couple of her male friends. Hell, let the Professor and Gunn fight it out for all he cared. He was done with it. He was going to find himself a nice hotel and take a mini vacation and let her have the house for a few days, maybe till the wedding. That way they wouldn't have to make nice any longer then necessary.

I was just standing here, and I realized that I hadn't had dinner and I didn't feel like eating alone.....so I was wondering, that is if you haven't already, do you want to get something to eat.

Buffy smiled.