Prologue

Sunnydale, December 2000


Buffy was clinging to Spike. Or was it Spike who was clinging to her? They didn’t know, and to be honest, they didn’t care.

Today, they were burying their mother.

The sun was shining brightly, contrasting almost indecently with the grieving faces of the few people surrounding the coffin.

They had wanted to keep it private, so besides the family, only their closest friends were present. Amongst them, Xander and Willow, Buffy and Spike’s best friends. They had spent most of their childhood at the Giles-Atherton house, and had always considered Joyce and Rupert like their second family.

The coffin was slowly put down in the ground, and Buffy squeezed Spike’s hand. Her own mother had died when she was three, so she barely remembered her. And she had considered Joyce like her mom ever since she had married her father. Even if she didn’t share any blood link with the woman, Buffy’s pain was the same as Spike’s.

Spike let go of her hand to put his arm around her shoulders and place a light kiss on her hair. Then each of them took a flower and threw it in the grave, before slowly going back to the cars.

A small reunion was held afterwards at the house. Buffy and Spike were standing next to each other, receiving the usual condolences.

“I hate those bloody 'appropriate phrases'. And some of those people didn’t even know mum very well,” Spike said, his English accent thicker than usual due to his emotional state.

Buffy gave him a soft smile. “I know. But some of them really meant what they said, you know. Joyce is…was very much appreciated.”

She caught a glimpse of her father talking to an attractive middle-aged woman.
“Look at that,” she told Spike, shaking her head. “Gwendolyn Post is already all over dad. I swear, that woman doesn’t have one bit of decency.”

“She never hid she liked Rupert. Even mum knew it. It was one of their favourite jokes, remember?”

Buffy laughed at the memory before stopping abruptly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Mum told me she wanted us to remember all the nice moments. And we had quite a few, huh, pet?”

The smile came back on the young girl’s face. “We sure did. I’ll go check on dad, ok?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug before going to save her dad from Mrs Post’s clutches.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


A few hours later, all the guests were gone and the house was quiet.
After a quick shower, Buffy went to her father’s study.

“Do you need anything, Daddy?” she asked.

He turned his gaze from the picture of Joyce he was watching. “No, thank you honey. Where’s William?”

“I think he’s downstairs. Will you come down with me?”

He got up and sighed. “No, I think I’ll just go to bed and read a little.”

Buffy smiled and gave her dad a fierce hug. “We’ll be ok,” she told him, trying to convince herself as much as him.

They held on to each other for a minute, and then Giles pulled her away, cleared his throat and started to clean his glasses. “Right. Try to rest a little bit. The last few days have been exhausting.”

Buffy nodded. She wished her father would open up a little bit more. He had never been one for big display of affection, although Buffy had never doubted his love for her. In fact, the only person he had been more open to had been Joyce. Joyce was American but had married an Englishman and lived in England until her divorce. Then she had come back to California with Spike, where she met Giles. Giles was English too, but had been living and working in the US for a long time, even before marrying Buffy’s mom. When she died, he had raised her daughter the best he could, and even if he didn’t say it often, Buffy knew he loved her and was proud of her.

But she didn’t know what he would do now that he had lost Joyce.

She kissed him. “I will, I promise. Good night, daddy.”

“Good night, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead before heading to his room, and Buffy bit back tears. She wished she could do something to ease the pain, but there was nothing to be done and she knew it. But she hated feeling so helpless.

She found Spike in the living room, slumped on the couch with a blanket, staring at the TV screen. The sound was muted.

She took a few minutes to observe him. Even though he was a bit paler than usual, and his face wore the lines of tiredness and sadness due to the recent loss of his mom, he was as gorgeous as ever.

Since Joyce and he had arrived in their lives ten years ago, Buffy had been drawn to him. First as the big brother she thought she would never have – he was four years older. When he was twelve, he left to pursue his studies in England at his father’s request. But he came back every holiday, and always treated Buffy like his little sister, being all nice and protective, and she had always enjoyed it. When he reached the age of 18, William – or Spike, like he wanted to be called from then – had become a very handsome young man.
And Buffy’s feelings had started to change. She was 14, and discovered she had a huge crush on her stepbrother. She had thought then that it would pass with the time, that she would meet other guys and forget about the hotness that was Spike. She had grown up, met and dated other guys. But it hadn’t worked. And now she was 18, and her feelings were still there, confusing and scaring her.

Maybe it would be more reasonable to leave him be and return to her room. Yes, but at the same time he probably needed some comfort, and so did she…

He raised his head and saw her. “Hey. I thought you had gone to bed already.”

She shook her head and sat on the chair next to the couch. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. I’m exhausted, but don’t feel like going to bed. I’m too tired to sleep. Does that make sense?” she asked with a frown.

“Yes it does, miss babble mouth,” he answered with a smile. “So, how come I don’t see an army of boyfriends hanging on your skirt?” he asked.

She shrugged. “They are not exactly banging at the door…and lately, between the studies and Joyce, it was the last thing on my mind.”

Also, it would have worked out better if she had stopped thinking about Spike each time she was kissing one of her boyfriends. She had soon realized it was hopeless.

“That’s good,” he said without thinking.

“It’s good that I don’t have a boyfriend?” she asked with a slight smile.

“No, it’s not what I meant,” he said quickly, looking suddenly troubled. “But you’re still young, you should enjoy it, have fun.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I thought having a boyfriend was part of the having fun?”

She shivered suddenly. She was only wearing a tank top, and hadn’t bothered to bring a sweater before coming down.

“You cold? Come here,” Spike said, patting the place on the couch beside him and raising the blanket.

Pushing aside the little voice in her head that whispered it was not a good idea, she complied and snuggled against him. She needed comfort and so did he. So the confusing feelings would be dealt with later.
They stayed silent for a moment before she said, “It’s gonna be hard without her.”

“Yeah. I try to tell myself that she’s better where she is now, but it doesn’t help much. The last week, she barely even recognized me,” he said, with sadness in his voice.

“I worry about dad. He seems to cope right now, but who knows what’s really going on in his head?”

“You’ll be fine, both of you. You have each other. And I’ll come as often as I can. If there’s anything, you just call me.”

She nodded. “But you can’t leave the show like that.”

“I will if Rupert or you need me.”

She smiled, feeling slightly better. She ran her hand through his peroxide hair, a drastic change he had to make when he got a role in a new TV show a few months ago. “It took me a while to get use to it, but I like it now.”

“Do you watch the show?”

“Sometimes…I’m not much into science-fiction, so a show about a girl chasing vampires and demons…not really my style. But your character is cool.”

He snorted. “Cool? I’m a big bad vampire who killed hundreds of people!”

She pulled away from him. “Talking about the show…when do you have to go back to L.A?”

He sighed. “In two days. But if you need me, I can stay longer,” he said, caressing her cheek.

“No, we’ll be fine. Joyce would want you to go. It’s important for you.”

“Not as much as you are.”

Absently, his hand was still caressing her jaw and her neck. On an impulse, she leaned in and put a soft kiss on his cheek. Their eyes met and she lost herself in the azure depths of his. For a brief instant, their lips found each other’s. It was more a caress than a real kiss, but it was enough to shake them both to the core.

Buffy heard Spike gasp slightly. “Oh God, Buffy…I’m sorry. I…I wasn’t thinking…”

“No, it’s ok,” she managed to say, trying to control the frantic beating of her heart. “I guess…I guess we’re not in our right minds now, considering the circumstances.”

She struggled violently with herself to bite back the tears. There was no way she would cry in front of him.

“Yeah, that’s it. We’re both needing comfort. But still, I shouldn’t have…It was a mistake,” he said.

She got up. Stab me in the stomach, it will be less hurtful, she thought, anger rising. “Well, its time for the mistake to go to bed then,” she said in a harsh tone.

“Buffy, please…” He caught her wrist and she stopped, but didn’t look at him. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Let’s forget about it, ok?”

She took a deep breath. That was so easy for him to say. She didn’t want to forget. And she wanted to know what it meant for him. Strictly nothing, obviously, a little voice said in her head. So it was probably wiser to let it go before he started to wonder why she was making a big deal out of it.

She finally looked at him with a fake smile plastered on her face. “Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

He nodded, not convinced, but didn’t add anything. “Ok. Good night, Buffy.”

“’Night, Spike.”

She went to her room, closed the door and sat on her bed.

She had trouble breathing. Between the loss of her surrogate mom, and her confusing feelings for her stepbrother, she was feeling a little bit overwhelmed.
She lay on her bed, and let escape a little sob, then another. She buried her face in her pillow to muffle her cries.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Spike climbed into his car and waved his hand one last time towards Rupert and Buffy.

Leaving her was both a relief and a heartbreak. He loved her deeply, and without her he wouldn’t know if he‘d be able to overcome his mum’s death, and his guilt for not being there more often. And at the same time, he had a lot of confusing feelings coming from God knows where, and he hated it. The memory of their kiss two days ago was haunting him. And it had not even been a real kiss!

The sign for the L.A highway appeared in front of him, and he stepped on the gas, trying very hard to convince himself he wasn’t running away.



TBC...

CHAPTER 1

Sunnydale, April 2003


“You’ll have to talk to you parents about your brother’s problem, Melissa.”

The young student sitting in front of Buffy made a face. “But he’s going to hate me,” she whined.

“He won’t hate you. He’ll probably be angry for a while, but he will realize sooner or later that you did it for his own good. Believe me. It’s too serious to be hidden from your parents.”

The young girl sighed and got up. “All right. I’ll think about it. Thank you, Miss Giles.”

Buffy smiled. “Anytime. Don’t hesitate to come and see me if there’s anything else.”

Melissa nodded, seemed to take her leave then came back.

“Yes?” Buffy asked.

“Some people say you are Spike Atherton’s sister. Is it true?”

“Yes, it’s true. I’m his stepsister, to be correct.”

“My friends and I adore him, you know, we never miss the show. Do you watch it?”

“I’m not a fan, but my boyfriend is. So I watch with him sometimes.”

“Do you think you could get me an autograph?” the girl asked boldly.

“I can ask him the next time I see him.”

Melissa beamed. “Thanks! You’re so cool! Bye, Miss Giles.”

The phone rang and Buffy waited for Melissa to leave the room before picking it up. “Sunnydale High, Buffy Giles speaking,” she said automatically.
“Hello, pet.”

Her heart leaped in her throat but she quickly controlled herself. “Speak of the devil…hi Spike.”

After his mom’s death, he had taken up the habit of calling her or her dad several times a week, and coming as often as he could. The weeks following the funeral had been very hard for all of them. Buffy and Spike had never spoke again about what had happened between them that night, and their relationship hadn’t suffered from it. Mostly because Buffy had done everything to repress her feelings and tried to see him as her big brother only. And she had managed that rather well lately. Well, most of the time.

“I knew you were talking about me. My nose was itching.”

“In fact it was one of my students. I start to wonder how many of them really come to my office for counseling. They probably hope I’ll spill juicy gossip about you.”

His warm laugh filled her ear through the receiver. “They will be really disappointed then. There’s really nothing juicy going on in my life.”

“It’s not what the tabloids say,” she teased him.

“If you’re talking about that orgy that took place in that hotel room where I trashed everything, it wasn’t really my fault,” he joked.

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. How’s the show going?”

“Pretty good. We are 90% sure to be picked up for a third season. Now we are shooting the last episodes.”

In two years, Spike’s show had become a big hit. They had never expected it to have so much success, and it was partly due to the charisma and the charms of its lead actor.

“I’m glad for you. You really deserve it.”

“Now, that’s not why I’m calling. I have next week-end off, and I was thinking about coming back home for two days.”

“Sure, that’ s a good idea,” Buffy said.

She was always happy to see him, even if it was a little bit harder then. When he was around, the butterflies were never leaving her stomach.

“Is Darla coming?” she asked, referring to Spike’s fiancée.

“No. She’s shooting a movie in Vancouver.”

“Oh. Ok. Well, you’ll see Riley then. He’s coming Saturday night.”

“Didn’t you tell me he had asked you to move in with him?”

“Yeah…I’m still thinking about it.”

“How long have you been together now?”

“About 6 months.”

“And you love him?”

She hesitated just a few seconds, but enough for him to notice it. “Sure. Yes, I do. I love him.”

“If you say so...There’s no need to rush things, eh pet?”

“Of course not…dad.”

He chuckled. “I miss you, sweetheart.”

She melted. “I miss you too…even when you’re insufferable. I’ll see you on Saturday then.”

“Alright. Bye.”

She slowly put the receiver back and sighed. There were times where she wondered if she really had succeeded in putting her feelings behind her. She had a nice job as counselor at the high school. She had been lucky to get that job considering she was only 21, but the principal had thought it would be nice for the students to have someone closer to their age to listen to them. And the fact that her dad was the school librarian had helped a little bit as well.
And then there was Riley. The nicest guy a girl could dream of having. He was also the first guy Buffy had kissed without imagining it was Spike. Ok, maybe except that one time…but it was at the beginning and she hadn’t done it afterwards.

She was lucky to have found a charming and loving guy like Riley.

Prince Boring. Willow’s voice resounded in her head. Her best friend had never hid the fact that she found Buffy’s boyfriend less than exciting. Ok, so maybe he was not terribly exciting, Buffy thought, but at least he’s…nice.

She tried to come up with other epithets to describe her boyfriend, but couldn’t find any. Irritated, she pushed the thoughts away. She had to stop comparing him – and all the other men – to Spike. It was not Riley’s fault if he didn’t have those gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful cheekbones and a body to die for…

“Gah!” she exclaimed, putting her forehead on her desk. What had she done to deserve this? Would the day finally come when she would stop pining about a guy who saw her like a sister, and worst, who was engaged to another woman?
A big, fat NO appeared in her head and she sighed again.

“Hey, honey. Ready to go home?”

She raised her head, surprised. Right in front of her desk was standing Prince Bo…Riley. Damn you, Willow.

“Hey,” she said, before frowning. “Were you supposed to pick me up?”

“No, but it’s raining. So I thought you would like a ride home.”

She smiled. When he was so sweet like that, she had no trouble remembering why she loved him. “Thank you, that would be great. It’s really…uh, nice of you,” she said, wincing at her choice of words.

“Anything for my Buffy,” he said, leaning in to kiss her. She kissed him back. Because she loved him. Not because she wanted to get rid of that image of Spike in her head. And it didn’t work anyway.

“Rough day?” he asked, noting her slight lack of enthusiasm and blaming it on tiredness.

“The usual,” she shrugged.

She grabbed her stuff and they ran to the car, which was parked close to the entrance. Once inside, Buffy told him casually, “I got a phone call from Spike. He’s coming home this week-end.”

Riley smiled. “That’s great! The first and only time we met, we barely had time to talk. I would love to get to know him a little better.”

“I knew you were dating me only for my famous stepbrother,” she joked.

“Oh, you have your assets too,” he joked back, giving her a brief kiss.

“Riley, watch out!”

His attention was quickly brought back to the road, where a car was coming out of their right side. The brake screamed and the two cars screeched to a halt, a few inches from each other.

“Thank God,” Buffy exhaled, her heart pounding in her chest.

Riley turned to her and unfastened his seatbelt. “Are you alright? That stupid jerk!”

Before Buffy could stop him, he was out of the car. “Hey! Who did you suck to get your driving license?” he asked aggressively.

“What? I was coming from your right side! You were the one not paying attention, you idiot!”

With wide eyes, Buffy saw Riley rolling up his sleeves and marching towards the other car. He grabbed the other driver by his collar and almost pulled him out of the window.

“What did you just call me?”

Buffy got out of the car. What the hell was going on with him? “Riley, stop it. Let’s go home.”

“That jerk called me an idiot. I can’t let that pass, Buffy.”

She rolled her eyes. “What are you, five? It’s not worth it, Riley. Just drop it, please. Besides, he was in his right.”

She was getting scared now, because her boyfriend was holding the guy so tightly he seemed to have trouble breathing and was slightly turning red.

“RILEY!” she snapped angrily, and that seemed to do the trick. He let the guy go.

“Don’t cross my path again, understood?”

He walked back to the car and started the engine quickly, barely allowing Buffy to get back inside herself.

They stopped in front of her house a few minutes later. Buffy took her bag, trying to control her shaking. Riley put his hand on her shoulder and she almost shrieked.

“I’m sorry. But that guy was driving like a cretin.”

She gave him an incredulous look. “He was in his right, Riley. It was your fault.”

“Well he should have seen me coming,” he said stubbornly.

“Riley, you scared me. You almost strangled the guy.”

He watched her and finally noticed her shaking and pale face. “I’m sorry, baby. I got a little upset, I admit. But you could have been hurt!”

Yeah, because * you* didn’t watch what you were doing, she thought. But she didn’t dare to say it out loud. She certainly didn’t want to ‘upset’ him more…

“Thanks for bringing me home,” she said, opening the door. She had to get out. She couldn’t stand being near him right now.

“You’re welcome,” he said with a big smile, oblivious to her distress. “Do you want me to come over tonight?”

“Uh…no. I’m going to Willow’s tonight,” she lied.

“OK. Have fun Sweetie. See you tomorrow.”

She closed the door and walked to her front porch on shaky legs. She managed to give him a little wave goodbye before entering the house. He waited for her to get inside before leaving.

Buffy walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water that she drank in one gulp. The scene that had just occurred was replaying in her head. What had suddenly happened to sweet, boring Riley? It was like some demon had possessed him for a minute. She let a nervous laugh escape. To think she had just wished Riley would be a little bit more exciting…that was definitely too much excitement for her.

She was not supposed to go to Willow’s tonight, but now she really hoped her friend was at home.

CHAPTER 2

“He what?”

“I swear, Will, the guy was almost choking. And the worst was that he was totally in his right!”

“I can’t believe this. Prince Boring losing control and turning into a villain? That’s the kind of thing that happens in Spike’s TV show.”

“Well at least if he had been possessed by a demon or something that would explain his attitude. But we’re not in a TV show and demons don’t exist.”

“Was it the first time something like that happened?”

Buffy hesitated. “He always had a certain temper…but I never saw him react so violently. Especially about something like that. There was no crash after all. I don’t understand,” she said, shrugging helplessly.

“He wasn’t drunk, right?”

“No, I don’t think so. He barely drinks anyway.”

“Maybe he had a bad day,” Willow offered again.

“He seemed in a good mood when he arrived at the school.”

Willow sighed and got up from the couch where the two girls were slumped and eating ice cream and other stuff that went straight to the hips. “Then I don’t know,” the redhead said, pushing the play button on the CD player. Coldplay’s music filled the room. “But it doesn’t make sense. Here you have Riley Finn, mister Perfect Boyfriend, always nice and sweet…and suddenly turning into some homicidal maniac.”

Buffy laughed. “Ok, maybe ‘homicidal maniac’ is a little bit too strong a word…or two words.”

“You have another one?” Willow asked, raising an eyebrow.

Buffy thought for a minute before her shoulders fell. “No,” she admitted.

“There has to be a reason. Or not. I heard about people behaving normally and then one day, bam! They go ballistic for some stupid reason.”

“Will, if this is your idea of comforting, it’s totally not working.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, with a sheepish smile. “It’s just…you know I was never really fond of him. And I was not joking, there are people who become crazy just like that. I mean, what do you know about him after all?”

“What do you mean?”

“Before he arrived in Sunnydale? What he was doing, where, how…you know, that kind of stuff.”

Buffy smiled slightly.

“I know he’s from Iowa. His dad is a marine so he’s not home often. His mom died when he was young –that’s one of the thing that brought us together- and he lived with his grandparents. He came here last summer, to start a new job as a sports teacher at UC Sunnydale…another thing we have in common. I mean, working in education.”

“I’m sure that’s a fascinating topic to talk about in bed,” Willow said sarcastically.

“We generally don’t talk much in bed,” Buffy said with a pointed look.

Willow made a face. “Yeah, you told me already about Riley’s great performances…I don’t need any more details, thank you.”

“I never gave you any details, you goof.”

“Whatever. But do you know anything about his life in Iowa? Why did he come to California? Don’t they need sports teacher in Iowa?”

“Maybe he has his reasons, like the weather, or…the beaches. I never questioned his motives for coming here. He just told me he had postulate and got the job. End of story.”

“Mmmh…Maybe you could do some research.”

“Willow, come on. It’s not like he could be on the FBI’s top ten most wanted. And I’m not going to investigate him behind his back. It was an incident. I freaked out a little, but it’s probably nothing. I mean, Xander loses his temper sometimes too, right?”

“Yeah well he doesn’t almost choke people to death…”

“Neither does Riley. Uh, except in this case. But I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.”

Looking backwards, Buffy was thinking that maybe she had given too much importance to what had happened. Everyone had the right to get nervous sometimes…ok, Riley had been downright aggressive, but still…she didn’t see any reason to start watching him as a potential serial killer.

Willow didn’t seem convinced though. “If you say so…Still, be careful.”

“I will. And this week-end, I’ve got my famous stepbrother who will protect me if need be.”

Willow’s face brightened. “Spike is coming? Great! I haven’t seen him in ages!”

“Well how about we all go to the beach on Sunday? He will want to see you and Xander.”

“He’d better. Is he coming with Darla?”

“No.”

Buffy had always shared everything with Willow, except her feelings for Spike. She always had known it would be unrequited, and didn’t see the point of having discussions about it. And also because Willow had always considered Spike like Buffy’s brother (and even like her own brother) and she was afraid the red head wouldn’t understand, or worse, would be grossed out.

Now, she sometimes suspected Willow of knowing…but if she did, she never said anything.

“I’ll be glad to see him. Did he meet Riley already?”

“Just once. They didn’t talk much. When I asked Spike, he said that Riley looked…nice. Argh, there is that word again.”

Willow looked at her, confused, and Buffy sighed. “I think he was just being polite.”

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

“So…anything you can tell me about the last episode?”

Spike cut a small slice of steak and put it in his mouth before looking at Riley.
“Well…the Vampires take over the entire town, the Slayer dies and Hell is unleashed on earth.”

Riley frowned. “Really? That’s kinda…lame, no? And what’s going to happen next season then?”

Spike smirked and Buffy rolled her eyes. “Riley, he’s joking,” she said, glaring at her stepbrother.

The young man made a confused face before smiling. “Oh! Of course. How stupid of me.”

Spike put his knife and fork on his plate. “Sorry mate, I can’t tell you anything. Contracts and all that. The dinner was delicious, Buffy.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

They had just finished dinner and so far the conversation had gone on rather well. Of course Riley had talked mostly about the show, and Spike had nicely complied and answered most of the questions. Buffy wasn’t exactly bored, but she was looking forward to some alone time with Spike.

What? No, no alone time with Spike! It only leads to dangerous thoughts and well buried feelings that don’t need to be digged up.

“Xander and Willow want to see you,” she said, taking the opportunity of a blank in the conversation to change the subject. “I figured we could all go to the beach tomorrow.”

Spike nodded. “Great idea. I miss them. The last time I spoke to Willow it was to confirm my coming to the wedding.”

“You’re coming with Darla?” Buffy asked casually.

“She can’t. She has a guest appearance in a Canadian TV show and will be in Toronto.”

“How did you meet her?” Riley asked.

“She had a small role on my show during the first season…we hooked up rather quickly, and things went naturally from there.”

“Buffy never told me how you got that role…how it started.”

Spike smiled teasingly at Buffy. “Really? And here I thought you were talking about me all the time.”

“In your dreams, maybe,” she replied in the same tone.

“Anyway, I did the acting school bit for two years, but they kicked me out for some stupid reason I don’t even remember. I did some theater plays, then one day my agent heard about a casting for a new show. I thought it would be funny to play a vampire. I was lucky to get the role.”

“I had heard something about you being discovered while walking your dog.”

“That’s not me. That’s my colleague David. He plays the other vampire.”

Buffy got up and started to clear the table.

“Want some help, pet?” Spike asked.

“No, I’m good.”

Spike turned to Riley. “So, Riley…my turn to ask the questions.”

“Uh-ho…this can wait then,” Buffy said, putting the plates back and sitting down with a worried look on her face. Spike had his game face on. The ‘overprotective big brother’ one.

Riley smiled but shifted uneasily in his chair. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Why come all the way to California to be a sports teacher? Don’t they need sports teachers in Iowa?”

Buffy couldn’t believe this. He was exactly quoting Willow. They must have a telepathic connection.

Riley shrugged. “I just received an interesting offer, that’s all. And California was attractive, what with the nice weather and the beaches…”

Buffy looked at him, surprised. “I thought you had postulate for that job?”

“I…yeah, I mean I did and they offered me the job. That’s what I meant.”

Buffy didn’t insist, but her recent conversation with Willow was resonating in her head.

Spike’s gaze went from Riley’s slightly red face, to Buffy’s frowned one. Something there was obviously not right.

“But I’m really glad I came, or I would never have met Buffy,” Riley said, putting his hand on hers and squeezing it. It took her a little effort to smile back, but a big effort not to pull her hand away. Since the car incident, she had trouble with letting Riley touch her.

Spike looked at their joined hands for a minute.

“I hope you have serious intentions only, Riley,” he finally said.

“Gee, Spike! Did your ass get stuck in the 19th century?” Buffy asked, stunned.

But Riley laughed. “It’s alright, Buffy, I understand. I would probably do the same if I had a sister. And I can assure you my intentions are very serious,” he added towards Spike. “I’ve dated several girls before, but Buffy…she’s really special.”

“That she is,” Spike agreed, suddenly watching her intensely. She blushed under his gaze.

Riley thought it was because of his compliment. “Yes you are, sweetheart. And of course it’s still a little bit early, but I must admit I think about the future sometime, and you’re always a part of it. You know, I even thought about our wedding, and who knows? Possibly children someday…” he finished with a smile.

Buffy froze in her chair. “Woah there, Riley. You never told me anything about this.”

“No, like I said, it’s probably too early. But I look forward to it.”

He looked at her hopefully, and she looked at Spike, who was watching the exchange with great interest.

“I didn’t mean to talk about this now, but since your brother was asking…”

“He’s not my brother,” Buffy snapped without thinking, irritated by Riley constantly using that word while referring to Spike.

She met Spike’s hurt look and immediately regretted her outburst.

The phone rang. “Excuse-me,” she muttered before going in the kitchen to pick it up. She came back a few seconds later. “Spike, it’s Darla.”

The young man got up and left the room.

“What’s going on, Buffy?” Riley asked with a perplex face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to snap at you. I must be tired.”

He didn’t buy it, of course. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I was just annoyed by Spike’s questions.”

Riley shrugged. “I didn’t mind. He loves you. I suppose he wants the best for you.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Are you sure this has nothing to do with what happened on Thursday? Because since then I feel you’re a little tense…and kinda avoidy.”

“No, it’s not. I…”

She was interrupted by Spike’s return. “How’s Darla?” she asked, hoping Riley wouldn’t insist anymore.

“She’s fine. She comes back Monday night and asked me to pick her up at the airport.”

He was watching her with an interrogative face, but she simply nodded and avoided his look, taking the plates to put it in the kitchen. Buffy, Queen of Avoidance, she thought ironically.

Riley got up. The atmosphere was a little bit uncomfortable.

“Well, I’ve got to go. I have an early start tomorrow.”

“Not spending the day with us, then?” Spike asked, trying to repress a too cheerful tone.

“Unfortunately. I’m going to San Diego with some friends. It was planned long ago.”

“I see. Have a nice day then.”

“Thanks. You too. It was really nice talking to you. I suppose we’ll see each other often,” Riley said, shaking his hand.

Over my dead body, Spike thought. “You bet,” he said with a fake smile.

Riley gave Buffy a quick kiss. “I’ll call you when I come back tomorrow night, ok?”

“Ok.”

He left, and Buffy finished clearing the table, waiting for Spike to say something. The confrontation should be starting any minute now…

CHAPTER 3

“What was that crap about me not being your brother?”

Buffy closed the door of the washing machine and pushed the start button. A low rumble filled the kitchen.

“I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry. What Riley said surprised me…in a bad way.”

“He’s your boyfriend. You told me you loved him. Shouldn’t you be thrilled to hear him talk like that?”

“I suppose…I don’t know.”

He watched her attentively before asking, “What happened on Thursday?”

She sighed. “It was no big, really. We had a little car incident, and Riley got…nervous. He kinda lost it, and I freaked out.”

Spike looked at the door from where Riley had left. “Weird. I didn’t picture him as the violent type.”

“He’s not,” Buffy said quickly.

Spike frowned. “He never hit you, right?”

This time she laughed. “Of course not. Riley would never do that.”

There was another silence. “I don’t like him, Buffy. And he doesn’t make you happy.”

She went back in the living room. She knew there was no use arguing with him about it, yet she said, “Spike, you don’t know anything about my feelings. You come here and get all judgy on my boyfriend, but you have no clue about what’s going on between us.”

She had said that quietly, which had much more effect than if she had yelled.

“Maybe,” he conceded. “But even if I don’t know much, I know you, Buffy. I feel it in my guts. That bloke’s not right for you.”
“Of course. And do you have at least some valid points about that?”

“I can’t exactly put my finger on it but…isn’t he kind of boring?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Oh God. I swear Willow should marry you instead of Xander.”

He smiled. “Well I always had a soft spot for Red.” His face became serious again. “And he bailed on you tonight. As soon as things were a little uncomfortable, he ran away like a bleedin’ coward.”

She knew he was right, but she wouldn’t admit it for the world. Hearing Spike telling her this was only increasing her doubts about Riley and her feelings for him. And she didn’t want to have doubts. She just wanted to pursue a nice relationship with a sweet guy who didn’t remind her of her yummy
soon-to-be married stepbrother.

She sat down on the couch and he kneeled in front of her. “I’m not telling you to ditch the guy, Buffy. But I want to see you happy. And right now you’re not.”

He put a lock of hair behind her ear and she closed her eyes, leaning into the touch of his hand.

“I feel lonely sometimes,” she admitted. “Since Dad met Jenny, he’s not around much…which I understand. I really do. He has the right to have his own life, and after all I’ve got mine, with a nice job, and my friends, and Riley…But sometimes I feel like something’s missing. I wish…I wish your mom were still here. I’ve missed her a lot lately.”

She smiled, trying to chase the gloomy feelings. “But I’m happy when you’re here with me,” she said quietly.

He pulled her in his arms and she closed her eyes. Her heart was beating so fast she was surprised he didn’t feel it. She pressed her face into the crook of his neck and he tightened his hold.

And the atmosphere changed. It was subtle, but they both sensed it.

Spike’s embrace was not a brotherly one anymore. His hands were caressing her back slowly, and his face was buried in the silkiness of her hair. Buffy didn’t dare to move, afraid to break the moment. So she just kept her eyes closed, savoring the proximity of his body, the way his hands were wandering in slow motion on her back. He finally broke the embrace, looked at her while gently pulling her hair out of her face. They stayed like this for a while, and for a minute Buffy thought – hoped – that he would kiss her. Their lips were just a few inches from each other. It would be so easy to lean her head and…the memory of what had happened three years ago came up in her head and she gasped slightly in anticipation.

That was enough to break the spell. Spike blinked, seemingly waking up from the same enchantment she had been caught in.

But he didn’t pull away, like she expected. He put a soft kiss on her cheek, saying, “Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”

She smiled “I like it when you go all Bon Jovi on me.”

He smiled back and got up. “Well, if we want to make an early start tomorrow, we’d better go to bed. Sleep well, sweetheart.”

“Yeah…you too.”

Buffy stayed a few more minutes downstairs, wondering what had just happened. Because something had definitely happened. And he had felt it too, of that Buffy was certain. Unless…unless her mind was playing games again and it was just wishful thinking on her part.

As usual…

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

In the bathroom upstairs, Spike stepped into the shower and let the cold water try to soothe his troubled feelings.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

“Why are you looking at her like that?”

Spike tore his gaze away from Buffy and turned it to Willow. “Like what?”

“With that thoughtful and worried face.”

They were both sitting on the beach, under a parasol, while Buffy and Xander were playing Frisbee a few feet away.

“I’m worried about that bloke she’s dating,” Spike admitted.

“Prince Boring? Yeah, I don’t like him much either.”

Spike shot her an amused glance. “What did you call him?”

“Prince Boring.”

He whistled. “Good one, Red.”

“Isn’t it? I’m kinda proud of it myself,” she said with a goofy smile. “I’m suspecting Buffy’s thinking about him that way too. Even if she doesn’t like it very much. It reminded me the way of your mom reacted the first time you told her you wanted to be called Spike instead of William. I’ll never forget her face.”

Spike chuckled. “And Rupert’s. They said they wouldn’t want to hear that ridiculous nickname in the house ever again. My dad always refused to do it as well. Buffy is the only one who did it…with you and Xand.”

“And now all your fans all over the world,” she joked, before adding more seriously,” Did Buffy tell you what happened with Riley?”

“The car incident? She mentioned it, yeah. What do you think?”

Willow hesitated. “I’m not sure…I never liked Riley very much, and I can’t even explain why. I mean, I’m a sociable girl most of the time, and if I don’t like someone, I generally have a good reason. Like when Cordelia Chase - remember her? That vacuous tramp! For weeks she tried to put her hands on Xander, and it wouldn’t penetrate her thick skull that he was not interested. And that’s absolutely of no interest to you either. So, what I’m saying is, I can’t find any reason. It’s just a gut feeling.”

Spike nodded, watching Buffy again. “I know what you mean.”

“I asked Buffy if she wanted me to do some research about him, but she said no.”

Spike stayed silent for a moment, before asking, “Could you do it though? I would, but with the shooting schedule we work at night mostly and sleep during the day. I literally live like a vampire. Also you have all those Internet facilities which I don’t have a clue about.”

“I’ll see what I can do. I don’t like doing this behind Buffy’s back, but I would feel better if I was sure he’s not some dangerous maniac on the run.”

“Well, if she learns about it, blame it all on me,” Spike offered.

“Ok. I’ll do that. Now enough about Prince Boring. Tell me about the show. How is the season going to end?”

“I thought the script for the ending was all over the Internet?” he said.

“I prefer to hear it from the source.”

He smiled. “All right. You promise not to tell anyone?”

Willow nodded solemnly. “I’ll be as silent as the grave.”

“Ok then. At the end of the last episode, the Slayer was kicked out by her friends, remember? Well, this is what happens next…”

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

They came back from the beach rather late, having enjoyed the sunny day as much as possible. Since Spike had moved to L.A, and the three others were working, they didn’t have much time for gatherings anymore. So they appreciated those moments even more.

Buffy went to take a shower before coming down with the intention of starting dinner. She found Spike sitting on the back porch stairs, reading something. All thoughts of dinner forgotten, she sat next to him.

“What are you doing?”

“Learning my lines for the next episode. Could you help me rehearse that passage?”

She took the transcript. “But then I’ll know what’s going to happen,” she pouted.
He raised an eyebrow. “Like you care. You don’t watch the show anyway.”

“Sure I do! Sometimes. Enough to know what’s going on.”

“Really?” he said with a skeptical look on his face.

“Really. Your show is about a girl named Fanny…”

“Faith.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Anyway, she alone will stand against the vampires and the forces of darkness because she’s the Slayer. That part I know by heart cause it’s told by the sexy British guy who plays her Watcher at the beginning of every episode. And it’s getting a bit repetitive if you ask me. So, that girl, Faith, she falls in a love with a vampire with a soul – and hello, isn’t she supposed to slay them? – but they can’t be together because of a stupid curse. They did it once and he lost his soul and tried to kill everyone and destroy the world. So she moves on, kills a lot of baddies, wears tons of different outfits even if she doesn’t seem to have a lot of money, and parties with her friends. And then bam ! You’d think she would know better, but no. She falls in love with another vampire. You. And for some reason I don’t think this is going to end well either.” She turned to him, rather proud of herself. “See? I know the important stuff.”

“Looks like you do. So? Will you help me? Cause I would hate to kill the suspense for you.”

She shrugged. “Nah. I’ll live. Which scene is it?”

“That one. I found Faith in an abandoned house and we have a conversation. Pick from that line, ok?”

“Ok.” She cleared her throat and started to read, “ ‘What are you trying to say?’”

“ ‘I don’t know. I’ll know when I’m done saying it. Something pissed me off, and I just…Unattainable. That’s it.’ “

“ ‘Fine. I’m attainable. I’m an attain-a-thon. May I please just go to sleep?’ “ Buffy raised her head from the script. “God, that girl can be a real bitch sometimes. What do you see in her?”

Spike smiled. “You’ll get it once you’re really in love. May I go on? That monologue is a pain in the ass.”

“Sorry. Go ahead.”

Spike started the monologue and Buffy read along. At some point, she raised her head and met his sapphire eyes. He was looking at her while talking.

“ ‘…I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity what you are. You’re a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy.”

He stopped, but didn’t tear his gaze from hers.

“Faith,” she whispered.

He blinked. “What?”

“You said Buffy. In the script, you’re talking to Faith.”

He looked down on the script, then back at her. “For a moment it felt like I was talking to you,” he said quietly.

Her face betrayed her surprise, and she suddenly realized their faces were very close. His fingers wandered on her face, tracing the outline of her eyebrow, the soft curve of her cheek. She closed her eyes, praying silently for him not to stop. Whatever possessed him to be suddenly so tender, she didn’t want it to stop.
And suddenly, Spike’s lips were on hers. At first it was hesitant, just a butterfly touch, like the first and only kiss they had shared a few years ago. But then the pressure of his mouth became more insistent, and she opened hers to allow him the entrance.

When she felt his tongue searching for hers, she nearly started sobbing.

She didn’t know how long the kiss lasted. It was very tender at first, and was now becoming more intense. His hand, that had been holding her face, was now slowly descending on her shoulder, then sliding under her arm near the soft swell of her breast. She was wearing a light blouse and no bra, and she could feel the burning sensation of his hand through the thin texture. She was dying to feel it on her skin. Boldly, she put her own hand under his t-shirt, her fingers timidly running on his back and his side, before reaching his chest. When she felt him react to her touch, she nearly squealed in delight. Was she really able to make him feel the same wondrous sensations she was experiencing?

Spike’s mouth was now on her jaw and his hand brushed her breast. She gasped, shocked at the sudden wave of pleasure that rush through her. Not really an orgasm yet…but she was definitely close to it. And if Spike’s ragged breath was any clue, the hardness she was feeling through his shorts was the only proof she needed. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. And nothing on this earth would stop them from being together.

The phone rang, brutally shattering her nice illusion.

They pulled away from each other, both panting heavily. The ominous ringing finally penetrated her brain, and she got up, walking into the kitchen on unsteady legs.

“Hello?” She barely recognized her own voice.

“Buffy? Hi sweetheart!”

Oh God.

“Riley. Hi.”

She made a tremendous effort to regain her focus and talk normally to Riley. Her cheeks were flushed and her heart was beating awfully fast. How are you supposed to talk to your boyfriend when you just shared a passionate kiss with another man?

She shortened the conversation. She was feeling guilty. Not because of her kiss with Spike. But precisely because she wasn’t feeling guilty at all. She had kissed another man – hell, she had been ready to let him make love to her right there on the back porch – and she had absolutely no regrets. She would do it again in a heartbeat.

But when she turned to Spike, she knew it wouldn’t happen anytime soon. Reality, in the form of Riley, had just hit them back hard in the face.

Spike didn’t say anything, thankfully. No ‘I’m sorry’ or other nonsense like that. She could see he wasn’t sorry either. But he was feeling guilty.

She knew exactly about what he was thinking. Or rather about who.

Darla.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Two days later, Spike was sitting in his apartment’s kitchen, drinking his morning coffee. I’m such a jerk, he thought. He hadn’t called Buffy yet. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t say he was sorry because he wasn’t. Wouldn’t tell her it was a mistake because it didn’t feel like one. That was what was scaring him the most. It had felt so right to kiss her. Never ever had he felt something like that before.

But she was his stepsister, and therefore it was wrong. He had grown up with her. How could he now have those kind of…lusty feelings while thinking about her? She was beautiful. But he met a lot of beautiful women everyday, and didn’t feel the urge to cheat on Darla with them. And that was another problem. He had asked Darla to marry her. Probably not for the right reasons, but that was between Darla and him and he would marry her. He couldn’t have those kind of feelings for Buffy. He had always considered her as a sister.

But what kind of pervert kisses his sister like there was no tomorrow?

He would have to talk to Buffy. Explain to her…explain what? He could already see the hurt in her eyes and he couldn’t stand to see her hurt. But that situation between them needed to be resolved.

He heard the front door open and Darla walked into the kitchen, holding a newspaper. She tossed it on the table in front of him.

“Really, Spike, you could have told me you were having an affair with your sister.”

His eyes scanned the front page, one of those trashy papers he avoided like the plague. His eyes grew wide.

“Bloody Hell.”

CHAPTER 4

When Buffy arrived at the school two days later, she was lost in her thoughts and didn’t notice immediately the way people were staring at her.

She was still thinking about the events of the weekend. She couldn’t think about anything else anyway. Everything was replaying in her head, especially the passionate kiss they had shared. That one was imprinted in her memory like a red-hot mark. She had never dared to think that someday Spike would return her feelings. And now, for the first time, a tiny flicker of hope was blooming in her heart.

She was reaching her office when she finally realized the strange behaviour of the students. They were all watching her, some of them whispering and laughing, others looking at her with mixture of anger and envy. Especially the girls.
Buffy spotted Melissa with her friends and went to the young girl.

“What’s going on?” she asked, feeling uneasy under the scrutinizing gaze.

“You told us Spike was your brother,” Melissa said with an accusing glare.

“He is…why…?” One of the other girls handed her a magazine.

Buffy’s heart skipped a beat. She blanched.

On the front page there was a big picture of Spike and her making out on her back porch stairs.

“Oh God…” She opened the magazine to find the article. There were several pictures of Spike in his show, and one that had been taken the Sunday at the beach when he was talking to Willow. And of course, two pictures of her and Spike kissing. And a third one where they were talking (probably while she was helping him rehearse) and where she was perfectly recognizable.

She felt a sudden urge to vomit. Apparently a photographer had been following Spike all the way from L.A. and Spike and her had given him the perfect opportunity. The town of Sunnydale was mentioned, but fortunately, her name wasn’t. Although that was not really a consolation. All of the school knew, apparently, and soon enough the whole town. Or at least the people who knew her and Spike. And some of them thought…her eyes grew wide when she imagined all the consequences it would generate.
“Those pictures are false,” she managed to say. God. She couldn’t do anything else but lie about this. “It’s manipulated. I don’t know how they did it.”

“It’s really well done, then,” Melissa said, doubt coating her voice.

Buffy laughed – although she wouldn’t know why. “They can do pretty much everything now. This is just ridiculous. Spike is my stepbrother, I never lied about that.”

She could see the others were not really convinced, and most of them wouldn’t probably believe her anyway. But it was worth trying. She had to look offended, angered by that. She couldn’t show how hurt, as shattered as she was to see her one and only intimate moment with Spike exposed for the whole state – country?- to see. She was fighting hard the tears that were accumulating behind her eyelids.

“I’ll sue them. And Spike will too. I can’t tolerate this.”

“It looks so real,” muttered another girl.

“Well it is not. I’ll keep this. Now if you excuse me, I have to call my lawyer,” Buffy said in a very firm voice, leaving the group to walk toward her office. Once inside, she closed the door and leaned on it, putting her hand on her mouth, trying to control her shaking. She couldn’t cry now. She couldn’t let this reach her right now.

She said a silent prayer thanking that her father was in England and not here to see this.

She looked through the pictures again. This moment…had been the most wonderful moment of her life. Probably the most intimate too. And it was exposed in a horrible, trashy cheap magazine.

She took the receiver, intending to call Spike, but put it back. Maybe he didn’t know yet. She knew he didn’t read those things either. But there was a big chance that someone in his entourage would. What if Darla saw it?
She didn’t dare to imagine Spike’s reaction when he saw this. He would be furious. She didn’t have a lawyer, but he did. He would probably sue them. Put a denial on the front page.

But even if she had been the first one to deny it, she didn’t think she could bear to hear Spike doing the same thing. To act like all of this was a big phony..
That kiss had been the most real thing in all her life.

She took the receiver again and dialed Willow’s number.

“Hello?”

“Will, it’s me. Did you…did you see the latest edition of the Hello magazine?

Willow chuckled. “It’s not exactly my bedside reading, so no…why?”

Buffy hesitated. “Could you come over to Sunnydale High? Like now?”

“Sure. What’s going on?” her friend asked, curiosity tainting her voice.

“You’ll see. I think you have to see this.”

“In the Hello magazine?? OK…is it about that guitarist from the Dingoes ate my Baby band? Cause I find him cute. But don’t tell Xander.”

“No, it’s not. I’ll wait for you, ok?” Buffy answered, not hiding the urgency in her voice. She couldn’t tell Willow over the phone. Her friend was involved too, since there was a picture of her as well. A very innocent one, although the legend seemed to imply that Spike was sort of entertaining a harem in his hometown, all behind his pretty fiancée’s back.

Buffy sighed. No doubt she would have to face the principal at some point. She wasn’t sure he would buy the fake picture thing either. Who would be naive enough to believe that anyway?

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

“Woah. Ok…woah.”

Willow was staring at the paper with a disbelieving look on her face. She read the commentary out loud. “It looks like Spike Atherton, the hot hunk starring in UPN’ show ‘Faith the Vampire Slayer’ is having quite the quality time when he returns to his hometown of Sunnydale on weekends. Just this Sunday he was spotted chatting a sexy redhead on the beach…” she stopped, her eyes growing wide. “Hey, that’s me! I’m the sexy redhead. Oh my God! I’m sexy!” Seeing Buffy’s look, she hastily read on, “…and later that same day was obviously enjoying the ‘conversation skills’ of a cute little blonde. You go, Spike! But what will Darla have to say about this, just a few weeks before the wedding? A ‘close friend’ told us she was devastated and planning on calling the wedding off.”

Willow put the paper back on Buffy’s desk. “Well it’s a good thing Xander was at the beach with us. I don’t know how I would have explained the ‘sexy red head having an affair with Spike’ thing. God, those people are like vultures! Big, horrible black vultures.” She took the paper back, watching more closely the picture of Buffy and Spike. “How do they do it? It’s incredible. You really look like you’re kissing.”

Buffy took a deep breath. This was the first step in a series of probably long, painful ones.

“That’s because we were,” she said softly.

“Oh, ok. I didn’t think it would be possible to…what??”

“Spike and I were kissing. Those pictures are real. It’s us.”

Willow looked from the paper to Buffy, then to the paper again.

“Kissing like in ‘I help you rehearse your love scene’ or…or like ‘Big smoochies for real’?”

Buffy smiled slightly. “The smoochies part. It just happened. I didn’t expect it, and…it’ s a long story. I want to tell you about it, but not here and now. Ok?”

“Ok…but you’d better give me the long uncut version, missy. Did you call Spike about this?”

“Not yet. I don’t know…I’m afraid of his reaction. And there’s Darla…”

“Here they say she’s devastated,” Willow said with an ironic smile. “I wonder who that ‘close friend’ could be…I wouldn’t give any credit to those stupid comments. Except for the sexy redhead one.”

“Well at least you get to be sexy. I’m just a ‘cute little blonde’.”

“I’m glad you haven’t lost your sense of humour…”

Buffy rubbed her forehead. It was not even 10 o’clock and she was feeling a big headache coming her way. “I’m scared, Will. I saw the student’s reactions this morning. Those who don’t know me think I’m a little trollop who dates a TV star and lies about it…and the others…those who know me and know Spike as my stepbrother…God, I don’t even want to know what they think!”

“Well maybe it won’t be that bad…I don’t know a lot of people who read that kind of crap around here,” Willow said, but she didn’t seem convinced by her own assertion.

“The whole school knows already. I’m expecting the principal to burst in here anytime now…and people who don’t usually read that will hear about it…or notice the front page in stores…God, how am I going to face this?”

Willow put her hand on her arm. “Put your brave and resolve face on. Act offended. Keep saying the pictures are false…stick to your version. If people see you are angry and determined, they will probably believe it…and forget the whole thing as soon as the next scandal rises. Don’t play the victim.”

Buffy shrugged. “That’s not my style anyway. Urgh! I’m just glad Dad is not here to see this.”

Willow nodded. “ Knowing your dad, you’d better find a good explanation for that kiss. He’s too smart to think these are false. And by the way, I’ll wait impatiently for that explanation as well.”

“You’ll have it, I promise. Thanks Will. I feel a little bit better after talking to you.”

The young woman got up. “Don’t worry too much about it. Call Spike. You have to deal with this together. Especially considering the circumstances, which I don’t know anything about yet. For now I have to go convince my future husband I’m not having a torrid affair with the hottest TV star in Hollywood.”

Buffy smiled fondly. “I don’t think that will be a problem.”

“If you need anything, call us or come by, ok? Let me know what Spike said.”

“Promise.”

The redhead took off, leaving Buffy pondering about calling Spike right now or going to the principal’s office to evaluate the damages done to her reputation and her job.

She suddenly realized that she hadn’t thought for one minute what Riley would say about this. She moaned.

This was going to be a painful, horrible day.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

His eyes stayed on the paper for some time, mostly because he was dreading to meet her gaze and see the hurt and confusion that were probably there. She spoke first.

“Are those…real?” she asked in a slightly shaky voice.

This time he raised his head. He wouldn’t lie to her. He didn’t care what the others would think, but he wouldn’t lie to Darla.

“Yes…they are. I’m sorry,” he said, wishing he could find something else to say. Wishing that kiss with Buffy had never happened ? No…Surprisingly, he didn’t regret that. “Darla, I don’t know what to say. I never meant for you to be humiliated like that, I swear.”

“But why…why did you kiss her? She’s your sister!”

“My stepsister,” he corrected. “And it just happened. We were rehearsing, and…we kissed. It didn’t mean anything,” he added. Ok, now that was a lie.

“Are you sure? Because it certainly doesn’t look like it.”

He got up and came to kneel down in front of her. “Darla, honey…I’m terribly sorry. It won’t happen again. Ever. I promise.”

“Spike, if you’re having second thoughts…”

“No! Nothing has changed. I love you, and I want to marry you. I made a mistake, and I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me.”

She nodded, seeming a little bit reassured, but the hurt was still there. He knew about her painful past experience and cursed himself for being the one to inflict that pain on her again.

“What are you going to do about…” she gestured towards the paper.

“I don’t know. I’ll probably sue them, just for the principle…” He turned his attention back to her and kissed her softly on the lips. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I love you. You believe me?”

She nodded “Well, if you promise never to do it again…because there’s no way I’m going through this again, Spike. So you’d better make up your mind at what – who – you really want.”

“It’s you,” he answered immediately. He had never doubted that before.

So why did he now?

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Buffy watched the student leave her office and was glad when no other followed. At least that one had come to see her for a real problem and not because she was the latest trendy attraction.

More than once she had been tempted to take her bag and leave. But she wasn’t a coward, and hiding at home wouldn’t resolve anything. The principal had called earlier to say he would be late, but that he wanted to see her in his office in the afternoon. He had been nice and polite as usual, but she had heard a certain tension in his voice. She really wasn’t looking forward to her meeting with him.

Once again she put her hand on the phone, intending to call Spike. And once again she didn’t do it. Not a coward my ass, she thought bitterly. It was stupid because she really needed to hear his voice, but at the same time she was afraid she would break into tears if she did.

The phone rang. She picked up the receiver, hand shaking.

“Buffy Giles, Sunnyd…”

“Buffy, love, it’s me.”

“Oh Spike, thank God you called!” As expected, a flood of tears rushed to the surface but she valiantly restrained them. She knew he hated to see or hear her cry.

“It’s that bad, huh?”

“It’s been kinda hard, yeah. I told everybody they were fake pictures, but I’m not sure they believed me.”

“Stick to that version,” he said, once again echoing Willow’s words and she had to smile. “Buffy…I’m sorry. I had no idea that photographer had followed me to Sunnydale. I should have known there was always a risk.”

“Well, we gave him quite the show,” she said, laughing slightly, and Spike was relieved to hear it. Of course he couldn’t see the tears running along her cheeks.
“Spike…do you regret what happened?” she asked softly.

There was a slight pause, and then he said, “No. I don’t.”

She closed her eyes, a warm wave overwhelming her. “Me neither. Even if it’s a living Hell here right now, I wouldn’t change one second.”

“We have to talk about this, Buffy. As much as I wish it could be, it’s not as simple as that.”

“I know. What…what did Darla say?”

“She’s the one who showed it to me actually. But she was great. She…understood.”

She understood?! Wow. Talk about the perfect girlfriend.

“Well, I hope it will go as smoothly with Riley,” Buffy said, but she knew it was wishful thinking. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach at the thought of the probable confrontation that was to come. “Also, we’d better find a good explanation for Dad. I’m afraid he’ll hear about it sooner or later.”

“Don’t mention that. I would say bugger all to what other people might think – except for Darla – but then I think about Rupert and I feel like peeing in my pants. And that’s not a metaphor. I can be there this afternoon if you need me,” he added, glad he had elicited another little laugh.

Oh God, yes I need you.

“No. I’ll be ok. I’ll manage. I promise.”

“Are you sure? You don’t want me to come and talk to Riley?”

She rolled her eyes. Guys could be so dense sometimes. “Somehow I think it would only make things worse. I’ll deal with it. And like Willow said, very soon there will be another scandal and they’ll forget about us.”

“I’ll call you back tonight, ok?”

“Yes, please.” She didn’t like the pleading in her voice but she couldn’t help it. At least she wasn’t crying anymore.

“Just…call if there’s something…anything.”

“Yes, I promise.”

“I’ll give you Joss’ s office phone number. There’s always someone nearby to answer.”

“Ok. Do you think I could make some money out of it?” she joked, hoping it would ease his concern.

He chuckled. “Probably not much. You have a pen?”

She wrote down the number before hanging up. She was feeling a little bit better now that she had talked to Willow and Spike. She wasn’t alone in this. Maybe people would believe they were fake pictures. Maybe Riley would believe it too. Yeah, right. And there were things much more serious going on in the world. Who was she to whine because she had been caught kissing her famous stepbrother and was now making the front cover of a trashy magazine? It happened to Britney Spears or Jennifer Lopez every week. She was a grown up, she could deal with it.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

“I can’t deal with this,” Buffy muttered a few hours later.
She was sitting in her car on the supermarket’s parking lot. After leaving the school, she had remembered she was supposed to do some grocery shopping, since there was nothing left in the fridge. She had pondered for a moment the idea of skipping it and just staying safely at home starving, but decided against it.
She was not a coward, and she was an adult.

Bad, bad idea.

The supermarket was the closest one to her home, where her father and Joyce had been shopping for years. Absolutely everyone there knew her. And knew Spike, of course. Some of them probably even believing Spike and her were really brother and sister.

Which would explain the horrified looks she got as soon as she stepped in the store.

She put on a brave face, trying to ignore them. Her heart was beating fiercely, and her ears were buzzing. To the few people who came to talk to her, she lied like she had done all day and gave the same speech. She was seriously getting tired of it. A part of her wanted to shout ‘Yes, I kissed Spike, and I love him, and if you don’t like it just go to Hell’, but she knew that wasn’t a very reasonable option.
She started the engine and drove back home. It was over for today. The day had been awful beyond words, and nothing could get worse now.

She stopped in her driveway and saw Riley pacing on her front porch, the paper in his hand.

Or maybe it could.

CHAPTER 5


Riley didn’t even give her time to open her mouth.

“What is this?” he asked, putting the paper under her nose.

“A magazine?” she suggested.

“Don’t play the smart-ass with me, Buffy. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

She turned the key in the lock and opened the door. “Let’s do this inside, and not where the world can see, ok? Because been there, done that. All day long.”

He followed her inside and closed the door rather brutally. She jumped.

“Hey! If you can’t behave yourself, you might as well get out!”

She forced herself to calm down. After all, Riley had every right to be angry.

“Riley, listen…” she paused for a moment. She was about to tell him the fake pictures version, but something held her. She was sick of lying. “I don’t know what to say. I kissed Spike. That’s it, and I’m sorry,” she shrugged.

Riley’s face turned slightly red. “That’s it? Buffy, do you know what I had to endure today?”

She looked at him, gob smacked. “What you had to endure? What do you think I went through? Everybody was staring or laughing at me, probably thinking the worse. And the Principal told me he had had some parents asking if I was fired. I am lucky he appreciates me, or I would be jobless right now. But he gave me three days free and adviced me to keep a low profile for a moment. All this because some stupid paparazzi thought it would be funny to expose my private life to the whole country. Did I do anything to deserve this? I don’t think so.”

“I certainly didn’t deserve that either. I was the laughingstock of the school today. I’ve never been humiliated like this in my entire life. All this because you couldn’t help but stick your tongue down your stepbrother’s throat!”

She blinked, slightly shocked by his manner of speaking.

“Your stepbrother Buffy! You know, I had sensed something weird was going on between you two the other night, but I thought it was just me. And I never thought for one second that you would do this to me. This is disgusting! It’s like…incest!”

She got angry. She was fed up of hearing people degrading her relationship with Spike. It was no one’s business, damn it. “Don’t be ridiculous. Spike and I have no blood relation. It is not incest.” She took a deep breath. “Riley, I’m really, really sorry. Of course I never meant for you to be humiliated. What happened with Spike…I didn’t see it coming. It happened, and that’s all. I can’t tell you more. If you want to end things between us, you have the perfect right. I would totally understand.”

He seemed to relax at that. “I don’t know what I want right now…” he came closer and instinctively she stepped back. “But I know one thing.” He suddenly grabbed her arm violently and spat in her face, “You’re just a filthy whore like all the others!”

As quick as he had grabbed her he let her go, and she stumbled. He shoved the paper in her face, hitting her cheek just under the eye. She couldn’t help but let escape a yelp of pain.

He smiled at that, before leaving the house, once again slamming the door violently.

Stunned, Buffy sat on the stairs. Her cheek was shooting with pain, but she didn’t pay attention. She was too shocked by the confrontation. Of course she hadn’t thought Riley would take it easily, but she hadn’t expected the violence and the insults. Maybe she should have. Willow had been right.
She got up but her legs were barely sustaining her, and she was shaking all over.
She didn’t know if there was a risk that he would return tonight, but she didn’t want to stay here alone.

A sudden sob caught her by surprise. She had repressed her emotions all day, with the exception of the few tears shed while talking to Spike. But now the dam was breaking, and the tears came back full force, with deep hiccups going through her chest and constricting it painfully.

Still crying, she took her bag and got out of the house. She climbed into the car and pulled out of the driveway.

There was only one place in the world where she would feel safe and good right now.

In Spike’s arms.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

She had to stop several times on the way because she was crying so much she couldn’t see the road. So it took her three hours to arrive in Los Angeles and a few more minutes to stop the car in front of Spike’s apartment, right beside his. Which meant he was home.

She then realized she hadn’t quite thought clearly about this. What if Darla was there? She doubted the young actress would be glad to see her arrive like that. They had gotten along rather well until now. Of course, that was before Buffy kissed her fiancé on the front cover of a magazine. So she probably wouldn’t welcome her with open arms. But the need to see Spike was the strongest, and she got out of the car. She would deal with Darla if needed be.

She avoided looking at herself in the rear-view mirror. She knew she was looked awful, her eyes red and puffy, her face swollen from crying, and she probably had a slight bruise on her cheek from where Riley had hit her with the magazine. And if she needed any proof of that, Spike’s face when he opened the door was enough to convince her.

“Buffy? What…? My God, what happened to you?”

The concern in his voice opened the gates again and the tears were flooding in an instant. He closed the door behind her and took her in his arms. They needed to have a serious talk, but right now it was comfort time.

“Shhh…It’s ok. What happened? I thought you were fine.”

“I…I lied…” she managed to say between sobs.

He rocked her gently for a few minutes, murmuring soothing words in her hair. If Darla happened to walk in right now, he would be in a lot of trouble. But right now, he didn’t care. Buffy was his priority.
When she calmed down, he pulled away and looked at her. “You should never have driven the car like this. You could have been in an accident. What were you thinking?” he chastised her softly. Then he noticed the red mark on her cheek. He brushed it delicately with the tip of his finger and she winced.

“Who did this?” he asked, his voice suddenly hardening.

“Riley did,” she whispered. “He was furious. I can’t really blame him.”

“Buffy, that bastard has no right to lay a hand on you. I’ll make sure he understands that the next time I see him.”

She closed her eyes. Exhaustion after the events of the day and the journey were catching up with her. Spike caressed her hair. “Look at you, you crazy little bint. You were lucky I was even home.”

“I know. I’m sorry I showed up like this. I had this huge fight with Riley, and I kinda broke. I’ve been selfish. I don’t think Darla would be too happy to see me here.”

“Probably not,” he admitted softly. “But you are, and I’ll take care of you. Do you want to take a shower?”

She nodded and he led her to the bathroom, giving her a towel and one of his t-shirts. She reappeared a few moments later and came to sit next to him on the couch.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

She shrugged. He sighed. “Buffy, I think we need to talk about what happened.”

“I know.”

“I told you earlier today…I don’t regret it. But that doesn’t mean it can happen again.”

“I know,” she repeated. She had expected that, but it was painful nonetheless.

“There are many reasons why we can’t…why we have to stop this right now. You are tired, so I think we’ll keep that part for tomorrow morning. I just…Buffy, I acted like a jerk towards Darla and you. And you both are suffering because of that. I could apologize endlessly but unfortunately it won’t change anything. But it’s not too late to make things right. I hurt Darla and I hurt you. I hope you can forgive me.”

She looked him in the eyes. “I was there. I kissed you back. I’m responsible too. I know exactly what I was doing.”

Despite himself, he caressed her cheek with his knuckles. When he was in front of her, all the good resolutions he had made were melting like ice in the sun.

“Alright. We are both responsible. So Darla is the victim in this story. I don’t want to hurt her like that again.”

It was almost a plea. Help me fight this, Buffy. Whatever is going on between us, we have to fight it.

“I understand,” she said simply, not really committing herself. She hadn’t said her last word yet.

“You should go to bed,” he advised her gently. She nodded and he led her to the guest room. She slipped between the cover and he sat down beside her.

“Will you stay with me? Just for a while?” she pleaded, knowing well she shouldn’t ask him that, mostly because he couldn’t refuse. For a brief instant she saw him hesitate, but he finally gave in. He lay down beside her, although he stayed on top of the covers. Buffy spooned herself against his body, and he wrapped his arm around her.

Her breathing became regular, and he thought she was asleep when she spoke.
“You know what was hurting the most?” she whispered.

“What, pet?”

“The way people were looking at the pictures. At me. Like it was something gross and disgusting. I don’t know what’s going on between us Spike, but I know it’s neither gross or disgusting.” There was a pause and she asked in a less firm voice, “It’s not gross, right?”

“Of course it’s not, baby,” he said, the term of endearment slipping before he could help it.
She let out a sigh, of content or fatigue he couldn’t tell. But a few minutes later she was asleep.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Spike listened to her slow breathing but didn’t move. She had been asleep for more than one hour now. But he was still holding her, ignoring the little voice in his head telling him to safely go back to his own room.

It was wrong. He knew it. This was going too far beyond the ‘comforting between stepsiblings’. This was wrong in so many ways, he didn’t even want to start counting them. All those feelings he had repressed so far…he had almost succeeded in forgetting about them. But now they were back with a fiery vengeance, and whatever means he tried to bury them back were useless. They only seemed to grow stronger with each passing day. And he could tell himself that he loved Darla and was engaged to her, that Buffy was his stepsister and that Rupert would have his head the minute he heard about it…It didn’t change the fact that right now, holding her in his arms was the best, most peaceful moment he had had in months. He had never felt this with Darla.

He had been attracted to the young actress immediately. She was beautiful, of course, but she was also nice and not pretentious at all – a rare thing amongst the actresses he knew. She seemed to be in a perpetual good mood. He had learned afterwards that it was a smokescreen to hide how bad she was feeling after a very painful experience. And he had admired her for that. So they had gone out for a few months, and they were getting along so well it had seemed natural to take the next step and ask her to marry him.

Spike had dated a lot of girls before Darla. Being very good-looking and a popular actor, he never had any trouble finding one. But Darla had been the first one he had fallen in love with. She was different. He remembered thinking at that time she reminded him of Buffy.

He froze as an insidious thought crept up in his mind.

Had he fallen in love with Darla because of that? Because in some ways she was like Buffy?

No! A voice in his mind shouted. Of course not. He loved Darla for who she was. Not because she had some vague resemblance to Buffy…not at all.

Right, keep telling yourself that, stupid wanker, another voice whispered. The voice he didn’t like to hear because it was generally telling the truth, a truth he didn’t want to deal with. What’s better then, being a wanker or a coward? he asked himself ironically. But people would get hurt, starting with Darla and Buffy. If he still had doubts about his feelings, he knew all too well how Buffy was feeling towards him. He had read it in her eyes. He just hoped it was not the reflection of his own.

Tomorrow, he decided. Tomorrow we’ll talk and I’ll try to explain why this can’t be. I have to convince her.

If only he could convince himself as well.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

When Buffy woke up, she was alone. It was day outside, but the clock told her it was still early.

She found Spike in the kitchen, reading a transcript. She didn’t offer to rehearse with him, though.

“Hey,” she greeted softly.

He raised his head and smiled. “Hey. Had a good sleep?”

She nodded, studying his worn out face. “Looks like that was not your case. You up since when?”

He shrugged. “Dunno…an hour, maybe.”

“Thank you for…for last night,” she said.

“You can thank me by preparing some coffee,” he said, smiling. “I could use a cup now.”

“Sure,” she said, glad to be of some help. She started the coffee machine and put some bread, jams and cereals on the table. When the coffee was done, she poured two mugs and handed one to him.
“Thanks,” he said, closing the script and putting it aside.

She smiled and sat in front of him. “You’re welcome. That’s what sisters are for.”

He took a sip before putting the mug on the table, his eyes never leaving her face. “You’re not my sister,” he said quietly.

She shook her head, her heart suddenly racing. “No, I’m not.”

She felt a new flood of tears coming but didn’t let them spill. Hearing that phrase –you’re not my sister – although it could have sounded mean and insensitive, was in fact the most wonderful thing she had heard in her life. It was finally the recognition that he wasn’t looking at her that way anymore.

He took her hand in his and entwined their fingers.

“Buffy…we can’t.”

She focused her gaze on their joined hands, still struggling against the tears. Deep down she knew he was going to say that. It didn’t make it less hurtful though.

“I didn’t sleep last night because I thought about us…and about all the reasons why this ‘us’ can’t exist.”

Her stomach made a painful twist and her hand tightened on his. “Darla,” she whispered.

Guiltily, Spike realized he hadn’t thought about his fiancée as the main reason. But she should be. “Yes, Darla. I asked her to marry me…and I will.”

Why don’t you break up with her? The little mean and selfish part of Buffy’s personality screamed. She could never say that out loud.

Like he had read her mind, Spike said, “I can’t break up with her. First, I don’t want to. And second…not a lot of people know that, but two years ago, Darla was engaged to another guy. He dumped her one week before the wedding.”

Buffy winced. “That must have been awful for her.”

“She was devastated. She agreed to marry me because she trusts me, Buffy. Can you imagine her reaction when she saw the pictures yesterday? And still she forgave me. So there’s no way I’ll hurt her like that again. Breaking up with her is out of the question.”

In Buffy’s mind, it was still unclear if he didn’t want to leave Darla because he loved her, or because he didn’t want to hurt her. But she wasn’t ready to deal with the possible answer, so she didn’t ask. She just said,” Darla’s not the only reason, right?”

He saw the pain and struggle on her face and cursed softly. Why did this have to happen? Why had things changed, inducing feelings that were only creating a soddin’ mess?

“Tell me,” she said finally in a damped voice. “I need to hear it.”

“I don’t want to, but I bloody well need to hear it too,” he muttered, pinching his nose in a way that reminded her of her father. “You know I don’t really give a damn about what other people think. But there are situations where you can’t just ignore it. You experienced it yourself first-hand yesterday. The way people reacted…In Sunnydale, most people know us as stepsiblings. But some of them actually consider us like brother and sister. They considered us like that for 13 years. You saw yesterday how they would react to any…closeness between us.”

“Gross and disgusting,” she repeated sadly.

“It’s not,” he said firmly. “But Sunnydale is a small town, and some things will never be accepted. If we were to be together, we could never stay there. You would have to leave your job, your house, your friends…and I don’t even want to think what impact it would have on your dad. How he would face the situation.”

She could have told him that she didn’t care as long as they were together, but she knew it wasn’t true. She could never throw her life away like that, and she loved her father too much to inflict that on him.

“Also,” he continued, “I didn’t tell you yesterday, but I had some reactions at work too. The people who don’t know you now think I’m a cheating bastard…and the others all think you’re my sister. You can imagine what they think. What I did…was very bad advertising for the show. To say Joss was furious is an understatement.

“And here I thought I had been the only one having a bad day. I’m sorry.” She had been selfish and had thought only about her problems, without thinking it could have dire consequences on his life too.

He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it sweetly. She watched him, not hiding the deep love she felt anymore. She smiled tentatively. “Well, that’s a lot of points in the negative column. Anything in the positive one?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, still holding her hand against his face. When he opened them, he said softly, “I love you.”

He put everything he had in him in that sentence, realizing also with terror that it was probably the first time he really meant it. That this was the kind of love you only met once in your life.

Buffy let the tears finally run free down her cheeks. “I love you too,” she managed to say, feeling so relieved to be able to say those words to him, even if at the same time it sounded awfully like goodbye. She got up. “I’d better get dressed,” she said, and he let go of her hand reluctantly. She smiled sadly at him.

She came back a few minutes later, ready to leave.

“Will you be ok?” he asked, concern written all over his face. “If you don’t feel ready to drive all the way back, you can stay a little longer.”

She shook her head. “No. I’ll be fine. And it probably wouldn’t be very wise to stay together right now.”

He knew she was right and that he had to be strong too. He was the one engaged to someone else. He was the one who had come up with all the ‘good reasons why not’. Still a part of him was frantically searching for a reason to make her stay.

Instead, he opened the door.

“Be careful, ok? If Finn is giving you any trouble, call me immediately.”

She nodded. “Don’t worry.”

She was about to go but suddenly he slammed the door and took her in his arms. Instinctively she put her arms around his neck and they held tightly to each other. They didn’t talk, they didn’t need to. Their bodies communicated well enough.
Spike drew deep down his strongest will to find the courage to let her go. He pressed a soft kiss on her forehead and they stayed like that a few more moments. She finally tore herself from him and ran to her car.

He didn’t watch her leave.

CHAPTER 6

Willow pondered for one minute if it was still necessary to do research on Riley. Considering what had happened – or was still happening – between Buffy and Spike, she doubted her friend would pursue her relationship with Prince Boring. She had tried to call Buffy earlier to see how things had gone between Riley and her after the publication of the article, but nobody had answered.

She had nothing else to do anyway for now. At 4 pm she was supposed to go pick up her wedding dress. Until then she was free, so she might as well check it out. The information could still be useful someday…that is, if she found something. Riley could be as innocent as a newborn lamb after all.

The difficult thing was to find a good excuse as to why she called. And there was also the risk that those people were still in touch with Riley. If he happened to find out she was investigating behind his back…

She had to do this for Buffy. There was definitely something about that guy that was disturbing her. She dialed the number to his former university in Iowa.

“University of Northern Iowa, how may I help you?”

“Hi, my name is Wi…Winifred Jenkins. I’m calling from California. I’m a…friend of Riley Finn, and I was looking to get in touch with some of his former friends for a birthday party we are organizing here…” she said, wincing at the lameness of her excuse. She didn’t sound convincing at all.

There was a silence on the other side of the line before the woman said,” Miss Jenkins…I don’t think that any of Mr. Finn’s previous classmates want anything to do with him anymore.”

“What? Why is that?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to discuss that kind of thing. But…I suggest you stay away from Riley Finn, Miss Jenkins. He’s a dangerous man. Have a good day.”

“Wait! Don’t hang up!” Willow heard the woman was still on the phone. “Ok, then I’ll be honest. There’s no birthday party. I just wanted some information on Riley Finn cause he’s dating my best friend and I…for some reason I don’t like him. So please if there’s anything, just tell me. It’s important.”
The other woman sighed and lowered her voice. “I can’t talk with you about that here, and I don’t know everything. If you want more information…you’ll have to call the Mc Lay’s. Hold on. I’ll give you their number.”

Willow wrote it down. “Thank you, Mrs…”

“You never heard anything from me. Bye, Miss Jenkins.”

“Bye…” she said, but the woman had already hung up.

Willow replaced the receiver slowly. She didn’t know what she had expected, but not that. Maybe to hear about some stupid things he had done, a wild youth or whatever. But not that blunt declaration ‘He’s a dangerous man’. That simple sentence, given with no explanation, scared the hell out of her.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


“Willow, hey. What…isn’t that your wedding dress?”

Willow walked into Buffy’s house and put the dress on the banister. “Yes, I came directly from the store.”

“Ooh, can I see it?”

“No. It’s bad luck. Believe me, you don’t need that at the moment.”

“It’s bad luck only if the future husband sees it. Wait…you have ‘Very Worried Willow’ face. Why?”

“I called Riley’s former university.”

“You did? Why?” Buffy asked, confused.

Willow suddenly remembered that it was Spike who had asked her to investigate, and that Buffy didn’t know about it. “Uh, remember our conversation, the other day? I know you didn’t want me to check on his past, but…I talked to Spike about it and he asked me to do it. Now before you get angry, let me add that I was right to do it.”

“I’m not angry. I know you are just concerned about me, and Spike…well, let’s not go there for the moment. But it’s ok. Riley was furious when he discovered the pictures, and he broke things up between us.” She frowned. “Or I think he did. It was not very clear. Anyway, It’s over. I can’t go out with him anymore after…after what happened.”

“I’m glad to hear this – and by the way you still have to clarify what happened exactly, missy. But that’s not my point. I called his university and the woman there became very cold when I mentioned Riley’s name…she said he was a dangerous man, Buffy.”

Buffy was tempted to laugh, but she changed her mind when she saw real concern on Willow’s face. Her friend was taking this very seriously. “That’s all she said? That he was a dangerous man?”

“It’s not so much what she said, but more the way she said it…and she gave me this phone number.” She handed the paper with the McLay’s phone number to Buffy who took it.

“What is it?”

“She told me to call these people if I wanted to have more information on Riley.”

“Oh God…Willow…what should I do?”

“Uh…Call them?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I want to hear what they have to say.”

“Did anything happen when Riley saw the magazine? Did he become…violent?”

“Well he…he slapped me in the face.” Instinctively she brought her hand to her cheek, where Willow noticed a fading bruise.

“Oh my God! I didn’t even see…Did you go to the police?”

Buffy looked embarrassed. “Not exactly. I went to Los Angeles…to Spike.”

“Oh…Oh! That’s why I couldn’t reach you. You spent the night there?”

Buffy nodded. The memory of what had occurred between her and Spike was making her both ecstatic and miserable. She sat down on the couch and Willow sat next to her. “You want to talk about it?” asked the redhead softly.

Buffy sighed. “I’ve been in love with Spike for several years now. I never told anyone because…because I thought it would pass, and that there was no chance for him to see me as something else than his sister. But lately…something changed. The way he would look at me…until we kissed on the back porch. Right in front of that paparazzi.”

“And when you went to LA…?”

Buffy smiled sadly. “He was very nice. He told me he loved me. But that he would still marry Darla. And that’s the end of it.”

Willow put her arm around her friend’s shoulders. “Oh, Buffy, I’m so sorry….”

“I try to convince myself it’s the best decision…but I can’t! It just doesn’t make sense…if we love each other we should be together, right? I know he gave me a lot of good reasons as to why it wouldn’t work but still…I’m not sure I can accept it so easily. I love him so much, Willow,” she said, letting tears run free down her cheeks. She hadn’t cried since she had gotten back from LA, but now, in her best friend’s arms, she needed to let it out.

Willow rocked her gently, profoundly unhappy to see Buffy so miserable. How could she have been so blind and not seen or guessed Buffy’s feelings for Spike? What kind of best friend was she?? “I’m sorry,” she said. “I wish you would have told me earlier…you kept all this for yourself for years, and that’s not good. What did Spike tell you?”

Buffy dried her tears and reported her conversation of the previous morning to Willow.

“Yes…I can understand his motives,” Willow said. “This…the two of you…would lead to a very complicate situation. And there’s Darla…and your Dad…ok, I guess you don’t need to be reminded again, sorry.”

Buffy shrugged. “It’s ok. I just need to get over this…the next ten years should do it,” she added with a half smile, before asking “You’re not grossed out by it, right?”

“By what?”

“Spike and me…together. Because that was most people’s reaction,” she said in a bitter tone.

“Of course not! You’re both my best friends! I would love to see you happy together. There’s nothing gross about that.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said, hugging her best friend. Then Willow pointed to the paper.

“So…Will you call?”

Buffy looked at it for a moment before saying,” No. I won’t. Things are over with Riley, and I don’t think it would be correct to get all nosy about his past…it’s not really my business anymore.”

Willow looked concerned. “But the woman said he was dangerous.”

“Well, maybe Riley did something violent, or stupid, and thus she thinks he’s dangerous. But I mean, if he truly was, and if he had done something serious, he would have been arrested, right? Or there would have been charges against him. I doubt the university here would have hired him if he had a criminal past, right?”

“Maybe,” Willow said, but she was not totally convinced. “Do as you like. I understand if you don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. But I think you should tell Spike.”

“Ooooh, absolutely not! The last thing I need is Spike investigating Riley. He would probably take a plane to Iowa or something. I don’t want to worry him with that. Not that there’s anything to worry about anyway.”

“Ok, but remember Spike asked me to do this in the first place. If he asks me if I found something, I won’t lie to him, you know that.”

“I’m not asking you to. Just…don’t mention it deliberately, ok?”

Willow sighed. “Ok. But I don’t like that. So I hope he’ll ask me,” she said with a defying stare.

Buffy laughed. “Don’t worry Will. And don’t you have much more important things to think about? Like your wedding?”

At the reminder, an excited smile appeared on Willow’s face. Nothing better than bringing up her upcoming wedding to change the subject.

While listening to Willow’s babble, she put the small paper in a drawer. Maybe she would change her mind and call. But she doubted it.

It was better to keep Riley definitely out of her life.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Darla put her cell phone in her bag with a sigh. Spike was not at home and there was no answer on his cell. Sure they weren’t supposed to see each other tonight, but her plans had been cancelled at the last minute, and she had hoped they could spend some time together. She had come to a small bar near his apartment, but he wasn’t there. So she had sat down and ordered a drink.

He was probably out with some friends. The thought that he could have gone to see Buffy in Sunnydale crossed her mind, but she put it away. He had to work early tomorrow so she doubted he would drive 4 hours just to share a quick moment with Buffy. She had to trust him. She knew he loved her. After all, he had asked her to marry him.

She wasn’t sure now if he had asked her for the right reasons though. And considering what had happened lately…

Strangely, that was not the most disturbing thing. When she had seen the pictures and Spike’s apparent confused feelings – he was doing his best to hide them, but she was not stupid – she should have been…horribly sad, or even devastated. It was a rather humiliating experience.

Only she hadn’t felt that at all.

It hadn’t pleased her, of course. It had even hurt her. But she had expected more pain or heartbreak, and it never came.

She had been thrilled when he had proposed to her. She loved him, and they were getting along so well…for the first time, she was having doubts about marrying Spike.

“Hey Darla. You’re on your own?”

The young actress raised her head and met a brown gaze she knew well. “Hi David,” she greeted Spike’s cast mate. “Yes, I’m alone tonight it seems.”

He smiled. “That makes two of us then. Mind if I join you?”

“I’d love to.”

He sat down next to her and ordered two drinks.

“Where’s Spike?” he asked.

“I wish I knew. Probably somewhere with some friends,” she shrugged casually, trying not to sound too concerned about it.

David frowned. He knew Darla better than that. “I see. So, how about you? How are you doing?”

She was grateful he didn’t insist on the subject of her fiancé, but it didn’t really surprise her. David was the sweetest guy she had ever met. When she had gotten that small role in the show, they had had a great time together. But he had never asked her out, and then Spike and her had gotten serious, so…Each time she met him she wondered why he was still single. He was so gorgeous and sweet. Surely he was the perfect boyfriend. The kind that would not cheat on his fiancée.

Banishing the thought, she concentrated on him. “I’m fine. It’s been what? 2, 3 days. People have moved on to the next scandal already. Spike and I talked and we’re good.”

David nodded. “I’m glad. I don’t like to see you miserable.”

“Don’t worry, I’m ok. Let’s talk about you. Is it true that you’re going to get your own show?”

While he was talking, she was looking at him in the eyes. She realized that David hadn’t looked at her with pity, like other people had done. In his eyes, she only read friendship and compassion.

And right at that moment, something else that made her heart beat a little faster.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

After Willow left, Buffy went to take a shower before starting to prepare dinner and eat it in front of the TV. It was Wednesday, Smallville was on and Tom Welling was too cute for words.

She walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks. “Oh God, Spike! You scared the hell out of me!”

“Sorry, love.”

He was standing near the kitchen island, drinking orange juice. He put his glass in the sink and came closer.

“I should have given you a ring. I heard the shower and waited for you here.”

She waved her hand. “It’s ok. I wasn’t expecting you, that’s all. And you don’t have to ring. It’s your house too.”

He smiled and put a lock of hair behind her ear. She shivered at his touch and didn’t conceal it. “What are you doing here?”

His fingers were now caressing her cheek. “I just wanted to check if you were ok.”

She laughed slightly. “You drove 4 hours from LA to see if I was ok? Did you ever hear about that great invention called the telephone? Much faster and less expensive,” she joked, though her heart was swelling from the thought that he had come all the way to Sunnydale just to see her.

“I needed to see it for myself.” He watched her more closely and frowned. “Were you crying?”

“Oh…yes. But I’m fine. I just had a girl talk with Willow this afternoon. No biggie.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

He sighed, opened his mouth but she interrupted him. “Please don’t say you’re sorry. Please.”

“I won’t. And I’m not. That’s the problem.” He was still caressing her face. “I didn’t tell Darla I was coming here. And I cowardly left my cell at home. If she asks me anything, I’ll probably lie to her. And a part of me hates this situation and myself. But the other part doesn’t give a damn. Because when I’m with you, nothing else matters. Nobody else matters,” he finished softly.

“Oh, Spike…”

He took her face in his hands. “I tried to stay away but I can’t. I know it’s not fair to you, I just can’t help it. I had to see you, hold you, kiss you…” And suiting his action to his word, he covered her mouth with his.

Buffy moaned, holding tightly to him. She knew as well as him that it wasn’t wise to start this. But no powers in this world could pull her away from him. She pressed herself against him, eliciting a groan. His mouth left hers and wandered along her jaw and neck.

“I love you,” she whispered fervently, invaded by a maelstrom of emotions that were making her dizzy.

He tore himself from her but didn’t let her go. They were both panting heavily.
Spike looked at her flushed face, her sparkling eyes. He smiled. “You’re beautiful.”

She blushed. “Thank you,” she said, unable to think of a cleverer thing to say. She felt like her brain was a pile of mush. So was the rest of her body.

He kissed her softly once more. “I have to go back to L.A. I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?”

She nodded, enjoying his presence for just another few second, breathing in his scent.

And then he was gone.

Her swollen lips and shaky legs the only proof that the entire scene hadn’t been a dream. Even if it had felt like one.

The kind with a very rude awakening.

I wanted to thank everyone who took the time to feedback this. It means a lot ;o)


CHAPTER 7


“Hey bleached wonder! You’re not dancing?”

Spike raised his head and smiled at Xander. “I just did, with your aunt Edna. But she kept grabbing my ass so I pretended my feet hurt.”

“You must be indulgent with her…she’s been a widow for 15 years…she grabs every chance she gets, if you let her.”

Xander sat down next to Spike and took his glass. “Must be a change for you from the fancy Hollywood parties, huh?”

“Believe me, I wouldn’t trade my place here for ten Hollywood parties. They are boring and full of uninteresting people. But they are a necessary evil in the business, I guess.”

Spike’s attention was suddenly attracted by a clear laugh. Buffy was dancing a few feet away with Willow’s father. Her long blonde hair was cascading down her back and she was wearing a long deep blue satin gown with straps. Xander followed his gaze and put his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “Spike, buddy…you’re my best friend. But so is Buffy. If you hurt her, I’ll have to rip your throat out.”

“Don’t worry Xand, I’ll do it myself if it happens.”

And I should, he thought bitterly, because he knew he had hurt her already. And although he was doing his best to avoid any further involvement and complications, there was a force he couldn’t control that was always pushing him back to her. He had spent more time with Darla, and as a result he felt guilty, both towards Darla and Buffy. And to make matters worse, when he kissed Darla, he felt like he was cheating on Buffy, and not the other way around as it should be.

The situation was slowly but surely becoming inextricable.

He couldn’t break up with Darla. But could he marry her while being madly in love with another woman? That would be highly unfair for the young actress. No, he had to talk to her…she was in Canada for two weeks, but when she got back he would talk to her.

Of course there was also the issue of Rupert’s reaction, as well as the fact that he had lie to thousands of people by pretending the pictures of Buffy and him were false…

He pinched his nose, feeling a headache coming on. Buffy had stopped dancing and was chatting with another bridesmaid. God, he needed to touch her, to feel her soft skin under his hands, her hot mouth under his lips…

He got up and went to invite Willow to dance.

“You look beautiful, Red,” he told her with a tender smile while taking her to the dance floor. To think she was barely 9 when he had met her…it felt weird to see her in her wedding dress. But he was sincere, she looked amazing.

She blushed. “Thank you. You look great too. I don’t often see you in a tux…except on E! at those premiere parties,” she added jokingly.

“He’d better make you happy,” Spike said, gesturing to Xander, “Or I’ll come kick his ass.”

Willow giggled. “Don’t worry. I’ll do it myself if he doesn’t treat me right! But he’s great. And I’m tremendously happy.” Her face became serious. “You, on the other hand…”

He sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s…things are getting a little bit out of control.”

“So I noticed. Spike, please…try to control them before she gets hurt too bad.”

He closed his eyes for a second. “Willow, do you think I want to hurt her? It tears my heart out every time I see her. I’m trying to find a bloody solution, but whatever option I choose, it won’t be pretty. Someone will get hurt. That’s inevitable. I don’t give a damn about me, but Buffy and Darla…they don’t deserve the shit I put them through. Sorry about my language, pet.”

She smiled. “It’s ok. I know you love Buffy, and that you care a lot about Darla. I also know it’s a complicated situation. But you’ll have to make a choice.” She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, could I sound any more patronizing? And I guess this is all a big duh! To you…what I just said.”

He kissed her. “Thank you, Willow,” he simply said.

The song came to an end.

“You should ask Buffy to dance,” Willow suggested. “You haven’t asked her yet.”

“I didn’t want to put her under any scrutinizing gazes.”

“Well it will be weird if you avoid each other all night. And I think Buffy can handle some stares. Go ask her to dance.”

“I will. And I know I just said it, but thank you. If there’s anything I can do…”

“Spike, stop it. Buffy and you are my friends. I want to see you happy. And at the moment you are not, so neither am I. I mean, I’m happy because this is my wedding day and the most wonderful day of my life, but I’m not happy to see my friends unhappy.” She smiled wickedly. “Now, if you really want to do something to thank me…did you by any chance ever meet that cute guitarist from Dingoes Ate My Baby?”

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


When Spike took Buffy’s hand and led her on the dance floor, they attracted a lot of stares.

Mostly curious or envious ones, because they made such a beautiful couple. And also because as much as they wanted to hide it, the love they had for each other was radiating from their eyes. And it was definitely not the platonic kind. You could almost see the electricity crackling above their heads.

Buffy repressed a sob when she slipped into Spike’s arm. He had arrived early this morning and they had barely had the time to talk during the day. She had been busy with her bridesmaid duties, and she suspected that Spike had stayed away to spare her the same curious looks they were receiving now.

But now she needed to be near him, to touch him. And she didn’t care if people were looking at them.

She pressed herself against his body and felt the evidence of his desire for her. He raised an eyebrow and she blushed. The pressure of his hand on her back tightened slightly and he felt a shiver running down her spine. She raised her face to look at him while he lowered his. Their lips were mere inches from each other.

She fixed her eyes on his. “If I don’t kiss you now, I’ll die,” she whispered.
They were both breathing rapidly. For one crazy moment he was tempted to kiss her there, in front of everyone. And that would probably be the safest option for them both. Because if they escaped and found themselves alone in a room…

“Let’s get the hell out of here.”

At the end of the dance, she left first. The wedding was taking place at Xander’s uncle’s house, and the wedding party was hosted outside.

Spike waited a few minutes before sneaking off discreetly.

He found her upstairs, in the dark hallway. He took her hand and opened the door to what seemed to be a little salon.

The door was barely closed when she literally jumped on him. He took her mouth in a kiss so hungry, a moan rose from her throat. His hands were everywhere, cupping her bottom through the satin of her dress, pressing her against that part of him that throbbed between them.

She arched her head back, giving access to his devouring lips. “Oh Spike…Oh God, yes…”

Locked passionately together, they kissed each other with a feverish intensity for several long moments, all the love repressed deep inside them only deepening their need for close contact.

His hand fumbled with her long skirt, raising it, finding their way to the soft velvet of her thighs. He knew he had reached his goal when he heard her gasp in pleasure.

“Buffy….” He whispered against her skin in a raspy voice. “I need you so much…”

“I’m all yours, Spike…all yours.”

Locking her gaze with his, she slipped her hand between them to unzip his pants and when she touched him, he growled against her throat, sending delicious shivers through her whole body.

Buffy had often imagined her first time with Spike, and it had always included a nice comfy bed, candles, soft music and lots of foreplay. Not this primitive, passionate coupling against the wall of a stranger’s house.

But now she wouldn’t have it any other way.

She wrapped her legs around him and guided him to her entrance. He buried himself in her softness, reaching deep. “You’re so hot,” he breathed, and when he saw her eyes widen and her mouth open he captured her cry with his mouth.

Once again they gazed at each other, stunned by the pleasure that was already engulfing them. Then Spike moved, thrusting deeply, urgently into her again and again. Buffy was lost in bliss, meeting every thrust, soft moans of ecstasy coming from deep in her throat every time his shaft drove into her.

He suddenly felt her inner walls tighten around him before waves of exquisite pleasure exploded through her body. He found his release a few seconds after her.

Still holding her, he laid her down on the nearby couch, not breaking their embrace. Savoring the aftermaths of her orgasm, Buffy welcomed the warm, heavy weight of Spike’s body, his mouth now gently nuzzling her neck and collarbone. She enjoyed it, knowing that at that moment he was totally hers.

He raised his head. “Are you ok?”

She smiled – the smile of a very satisfied woman. “Never been better,” she replied huskily.

Spike waited for the first wave of guilt to crash, but it never did. He had never felt so happy in his entire life. Once again his mouth found hers, now taking the time to kiss her slowly. He just couldn’t get enough of it.

“We should go back,” she finally said, caressing his cheek. She knew they needed to have a conversation. Most of all, she needed to know where they were going from here. But she didn’t want to bring that up now, and certainly not throw the name of Darla into their unexpected intimacy.

He got up reluctantly, adjusting himself, before helping her find her panties – he had ripped them out during their quick and intense lovemaking.

“If Willow knew what I just did at her wedding party, she would have my head.”

“And if Xander finds out, he’ll have my head. At least we’ll die together.”

“That’s really romantic,” she chuckled, before smoothing her dress with her hands and checking her hair. “Ok. I’m ready.”

“You go back first. I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

“Do you really think people didn’t notice our absence?”

He shrugged. “Most of them are probably sloshed or busy with their own hunnies…does it really matter?”

She smiled and prepared to leave but he held her back, placing a last tender kiss on her mouth.

And he didn’t want to say it, not as long as things were not clear and certain, but he couldn’t help himself.

“I love you.”

He whole face brightened. “I love you too.”

“Now go.”

He opened the door and checked the corridor before ushering her out and closing the door behind her. He leaned against it and closed his eyes, waiting for his heartbeat to regain a steady rhythm.

They had crossed the line. There was no way back now. And it had never felt so good.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


Hidden behind the corner in the corridor, Riley watched Buffy leave the room. He knew Spike was still inside, and the noise he had heard a few minutes ago were a pretty clear giveaway to what had occurred in it.

That filthy whore. He wouldn’t let her humiliate him like that. He had warned her, but she wouldn’t listen.

Just like Tara.

And like Tara, she would pay.

Silently, he made his way out before anyone could see him.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


Spike followed Buffy silently inside their house, locking the front door behind them.

They had been the last to leave, staying with Xander and Willow the rest of the night. And the newlyweds were apparently oblivious to what had happened between their best friends. Then again, they had been oblivious to everything except themselves.

Buffy climbed the first two steps of the stairs before turning back to him. She didn’t have anything to lose after all.

“Can I sleep with you?” she whispered. She wasn’t pleading. It was just the request of a woman who didn’t want to be separated from the man she loved and with whom she had just shared intense moments for the first time.

Spike smiled. How could he refuse her? He was as helpless as she was. And he was already lost in the green depths of her eyes.

He switched off the lights, took her hand and led the way.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Bath, England

“Oh, Rupert, look. They have some American magazines there.”

Jenny pulled Giles to a newsstand nearby. “It’s mostly tabloids, honey.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, I want some news from home, even if it’s trashy gossip.”

He smiled. “You can have news from home by watching CNN, dear.”

She gave him a glare before heading to the newsstand to make her choice.
Chuckling, Giles followed her and waited patiently.

Then he heard her squeal.

CHAPTER 8


Spike woke up slowly, wrapped around a soft and hot body. He smiled when he remembered who the owner of that body was.

Buffy. His girl.

Well, not yet. Soon, he hoped, after resolving some complicated situations. But he didn’t want to think about that now. Better concentrate on how tasty her skin was, just right there under her ear, and how he liked to see her wake up under his tender ministrations and hear her moan.

The phone rang.

“Just leave it,” Buffy said, her voice muffled by the pillow. But Spike took the phone, and immediately wished he hadn’t.

“William! What the bloody hell is going on?”

All naughty thoughts forgotten, he sat up straight, releasing Buffy rather brutally.

“Hey! What…” she protested vehemently but was cut by Spike’s hand on her mouth.

“Good morning, Rupert,” Spike said, emphasizing the name, and Buffy’s eyes grew wide.

“It’s evening here, and it’s not good at all! How come you and Buffy are on the cover of one of those awful tabloids? And…kissing!”

Spike took a deep breath. “I…Listen, Rupert, I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about this on the phone. But…you don’t have to worry, alright? Everything is fine now.”

“It doesn’t seem fine to me, young man. What on earth possessed you and Buffy…You are like siblings, for God’s sake! What happened? Everything was normal when I left!”

“Everything is still normal. Buffy and I, we…” He looked at her. She gave him a sweet smile and a nod. “We love each other. In a non-sibling kind of way. Believe me, it was a surprise for us too. It happened very fast, and…I think we should discuss this calmly when you get back.”

He heard Buffy’s father sigh. “William, you know I love you like a son. And I trust you. But last time I checked, you were engaged to another woman. We can talk when I come back, but please, I don’t want one anyone to get hurt. Be very careful. Am I making myself clear?”

“Crystal, Rupert. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her. You know that.”

“Yes, I know. Nevertheless, you should have called and warned us.”

“We didn’t want to explain it over the phone. We hoped you wouldn’t find out until you got back.”

“Well, we’ll be back in about ten days. In the meantime, try to behave and for the Lord’s sake stay away from paparazzi!” There was a silence before he added,” I’m sorry your mum isn’t around to hear this. It was her dream.”

Spike’s heart jumped in his throat. “What?”

“She had hoped that you and Buffy would someday fall in love and maybe get married. We never said anything because we didn’t want to influence your judgements…She sure has a big smile on her face right now.”

Spike swallowed and struggled against the tears that were threatening to spill.

“Is Buffy around?” Giles asked.

“Yeah, she’s just…I mean, I’ll go see if she’s awake,” he corrected himself in time, waiting a few seconds before handing the phone to Buffy.

“Hey Daddy. I’m so glad to hear from you. Yes, everything is fine, don’t worry.”

Spike half listened to her conversation while lying back on the bed.

“…Ok, we’ll see you in ten days, then. Kiss Jenny for us, will you? Yeah, I love you too. Bye.”

She put the phone back on the nightstand and looked at Spike. “I think it went rather well, right?”

“Sure it did. Considering it almost gave me a bloody heart attack.”

She chuckled. “Well, you handled it perfectly. And he didn’t seem negative, right?”

He picked up on the insecurity in her voice and caressed her cheek. “No, he didn’t, pet. Do you know what he told me?”

“What?”

“He said mum had always wanted for us to fall in love. It was her dream.”

“Really?”

He saw tears welling up in her eyes and took her hand. “Don’t cry, baby, please. I’ll cry too if you start, I swear.”

She hastily wiped her cheek. “Alright. But I’m so happy to hear this. It makes it really worth fighting for.”

He kissed the palm of her hand. “It makes it even more precious,” he said sweetly.

Her eyes caught the alarm clock. “It’s only 10 am. We’ve been sleeping for only five hours. No wonder I feel so beat.”

“So what are you waiting for? Come back here,” he said firmly, reaching out to her. She laid back happily beside him, resting her head on his shoulder, her arm on his chest.

“Do we have anything planned for today?” she asked.

“No. I have to pick up Red and Xander at 4 pm to drive them to the airport in L.A before going home.”

“Can we stay like this until 4, then?”

He smiled and kissed her hair. “Yes, we can.”
She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes. Spike lazily caressed her arm, pondering about the two of them. Last night, their brief moment had been all about passion, and now he was perfectly happy to just hold her and enjoy the quietness. Although, if she kept rubbing her thighs against his like that…

He groaned and she laughed. “You little witch,” he said, finding her mouth and kissing her until she was breathless.

His hand ran from her breast down to her stomach, then lower. She spread her legs to give him better access, and within a few moments his expert fingers had her convulsing beneath him while gasps of intense pleasure were escaping from her throat. Once she had recovered, he took his time, positioning himself above her and slid into her in one fluid motion. He murmured sweet words of love while thrusting lazily in and out of her, loving the way her body responded to his. It was like they had been made exactly for each other.

Buffy held on tightly to him, feeling ecstasy building within her, until it exploded into a myriad of sensations. She felt Spike pause for a second before spasms took over his body.

He stayed inside her for a few more moments, kissing her hungrily. Buffy enjoyed every second, knowing that in a few hours he would have to leave. Waking up in his arms had been like Heaven, especially now that she knew he felt the same way about her.

She would just have to be patient, hoping that someday all her mornings would be like this one.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

“Good Morning. This is your wake-up call. It’s 8.30.”

Darla put the receiver back before getting back under the covers. Immediately, a strong arm came encircled her waist. She smiled.

She shouldn’t be smiling. She should have felt guilty, or bad. But she just couldn’t help but smile.

She had finished the shooting early, the day before, so she had gone back to her hotel situated in the centre of Toronto. She hadn’t felt depressed, just a little bit lonely. She could have called Spike. Only, when she had thought about calling someone, it wasn’t his name that came to mind.

It was David’s.

Since their impromptu meeting a few days ago, they had called each other more often. To talk, like friends. But she wasn’t a fool, and she knew he didn’t see her like a friend at all.

And when she had opened her hotel room’s door yesterday evening and found him standing there, she had understood it was the same for her.

“You came?” she had asked incredulously.

“After hanging up with you I went to the airport. There was a plane for Toronto leaving in the next thirty minutes. I was just lucky.”

She had laughed, tremendously happy to see him there. It had cheered her up to talk to him on the phone, but she had never expected to see him show up at her door a few hours later. That was the most incredibly romantic gesture ever.

He had walked into her hotel room and they had stayed there for a minute, looking at each other, not knowing what to say. The time to pretend they were just friends was definitely over.

“Darla…”

“Yes?”

“Please don’t use me to get revenge on Spike.”

Her eyes had grown wide. “Oh! David, no! Do you think…No, I swear it’s not that.” She had moved closer and put her hand on his cheek. “This…you and me…has nothing to do with Spike.”

Hope had flickered in his eyes. “So I was not dreaming? There is something going on between us? It’s not wishful thinking on my part?”

She had shaken her head. “I just realized it now…when I opened the door…I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else right now.”

“Darla…” He had finally taken her in his arms to kiss her senseless. And what a kiss it had been. Kissing him back fervently, Darla had realized she had been waiting for something like that for a long time. For a man like that…one that would sweep her off her feet, would put millions of butterflies in her stomach. She had chosen security by agreeing to marry Spike, thinking she loved him enough and that the friendship and the lack of passion between them would assure her that she would not get hurt again.

But that was just a boring way to live.

They had made love and then had talked some more. David had confessed he had loved her since the beginning, but hadn’t dared to make a move since she had seemed to prefer Spike. She had explained that she had chosen Spike because she liked him a lot and had thought she had no risk of suffering again. And when she had seen the pictures of Buffy and him, she had realized she wasn’t in love with him.

David was feeling guilty of course, since Spike was one of his best friends. They decided to wait for Darla to come back and talk to him. But even if he was delighted that she loved him as well, his joy was a tad diminished by the probability of losing Spike’s friendship.

Deep inside her, Darla was sure Spike would understand. Now that she was really in love herself, she recognized that look he had in his eyes, the way his voice softened when he talked about Buffy. She wondered if he had realized it himself.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

It didn’t take long for Buffy to feel Spike’s absence. He had been gone for one hour and she was wandering around the house like a lost soul.

She didn’t regret what happened, of course. But it was just more painful now, knowing her love was reciprocated and not being able to be with him. And Spike didn’t want to break up with Darla over the phone – that she understood of course – so they had to wait for her return. And even then, if they started a relationship, Spike would soon have to explain why he was in love with the very same girl he had claimed publicly to not having kissed a few weeks before. And they would have to face the looks of people they knew, people who saw them as siblings.

At least her father seemed alright with it. He was the only person whose opinion she really cared about. As for the rest, well, they would deal. If they were together, she would be ready to face anything.

She found herself standing at the threshold of his room, staring longingly at the bed they had shared just a few hours before. She sighed before rolling her eyes.

“God, Buffy, you are ridiculous. You’ll see him in a few days, everything will be fine. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

And with that pep talk, she went back downstairs to prepare something to eat.

She put the TV on, and closed the curtains.

She opened them back, and frowned. Riley was standing in front of her house, nearby the big tree. He didn’t seem to have any intention to show himself. He was just standing there, watching the house.

“What the hell…?”

She opened the front door and went on the porch.

But he had disappeared.

“Riley?” she called. She got no answer. That was impossible. He had been there only one minute ago. She hadn’t dreamt it, she was certain of that.

A chill suddenly ran down her spine, and she retreated back in the house, locking the door behind her.

No need to be scared, she reasoned to herself. It’s just Riley. I’ll go talk to him tomorrow.

But she didn’t dare look out the window for the rest of the night.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

“David! Wait up!”

David stopped and blanched. He had just stepped out of the plane from Toronto. Where he had spent a wonderful time with Darla.

So what where the odds he would meet Spike at the airport just at that
moment ? He cursed under his breath.

Spike reached him, all smile.“Hey mate! What are you doing here?”

“Well, uh…I brought some friends. Who were leaving. By plane. Obviously,” he said, laughing nervously. “And you?”

“Same thing. My friends who got married this week-end, they were leaving for their honeymoon.”

“Oh. Great.”

“Want to grab a bite?” Spike offered.

David shivered at the prospect. “I…uh…no, thanks, I’d rather go home. Some cleaning and stuff.”

“Ok. Are you alright?” Spike frowned, noticing the paleness and obvious embarrassment of his friend.

“I’m fine. Just tired. I had to shoot Dido’s video on Friday and Saturday…I didn’t have much time to rest.”

“Oh, right. You’ll have to tell me about that. I’ll see you tomorrow on the set?”

“No, not tomorrow. No scene for me,” David answered, thanking Joss and The Powers That Be for that small respite. “I’ll be there on Tuesday.”

“Ok. See you then!”

And with a last tap on the shoulder, Spike walked away.

David sighed, relieved. This wasn’t awful like he had expected.

It was worse.
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

“Hi, I’m here to see Riley Finn. Where can I find him?”

The secretary at UC Sunnydale smiled at Buffy and looked at a schedule.

“He has a break right now. You should find him in his office.”

“Thank you.”

Following the woman’s indications, Buffy found the room easily. And she was lucky since Riley was indeed there. To her surprise, he greeted her with a nice smile.

“Hello, Buffy.”

“Riley. Uh…Hi.”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine…I guess. Listen, Riley, I’m sorry about what happened. I certainly didn’t want things to finish like that.”

“Hey, don’t worry. No hard feelings on my part. Those things happened. I must admit I took it rather badly, and I’m sorry about the way I talked to you.”

Astonished, Buffy just looked at him. Who was this guy in front of her exactly? Just a few days ago he had slapped her and called her names, and now he was being all charming? Pretending it was no big deal?

God. Something was definitely wrong with that man. Which reminded her of the purpose of her visit.

“Riley, uh…don’t take this the wrong way, but…did you by any chance pass in front of my house yesterday evening…and maybe stopped for a while?”

He frowned. “Yesterday evening? No. I was home with some friends.”

“Oh…because there was someone standing in front of my house and I could have sworn it was you.”

He looked genuinely surprised. “No, it wasn’t me. I mean, why would I be there in the first place?”

“Yes, of course. I was probably wrong.”

“Well, if you see that guy again, you should maybe call the police. It could be a stalker.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. I’m glad things are clear between us.”

He smiled. “Me too. Take care of you.”

She left, feeling totally confused. If it wasn’t Riley, then who could it be? Some psycho who had seen her picture in the tabloids and had thought it would be funny to scare her? No. It didn’t make sense.

Besides, she had good eyesight. And she was pretty damn sure she had recognized Riley’s face.

She drove back home, putting some music on. She had a feeling of uneasiness. She remembered Willow’s words of a few days before.

The woman said he was dangerous, Buffy.

What did she mean by dangerous?

Her eyes fell on the drawer where she had put the paper with the phone number.

Only one way to find out.

CHAPTER 9


Buffy picked up the receiver before placing it back. She hesitated, pondering if maybe it would be better to do it with Spike by her side. She would feel more secure.

Then she remembered that Spike had no idea she had this number, and if he found out she had had it for several days without using it, he would be furious.

Buffy was seriously starting to wonder if she should have called when Willow had given it to her. Maybe she had been a bit careless on that one.

Taking a deep breath, she dialed the number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you. My name is Buffy Giles. Is this Mrs Maclay?”

“Yes, this is Janet Maclay speaking.”

“I’m calling you from California. I need to ask you some information’s about Riley Finn.”

There was a silence on the other side of the line, and then Mrs McLay asked,
“What did you say your name was?”

“Buffy Giles. I know it may sound weird, but I really need to have those information’s.”

“What do you want to know?” The tone was still suspicious.

“I dated him for a few months, and we broke up recently. His behaviour has changed, lately. He got violent for no valid reason, and yesterday evening I’m sure I saw him standing outside of my house.”

Mrs Maclay sighed. “Oh God…I knew something like that was bound to happen.”

Buffy felt a twist in her stomach and clutched the receiver. “Mrs Maclay, my friend Willow called Iowa University, and they gave her your number. They also said Riley was dangerous. Please, you have to tell me what happened.”

“Riley Finn is indeed very dangerous, mostly because he’s smart. My…my daughter is in a coma now, because of him.”

“What?”
“Tara used to date Riley, two years ago. She was head over heels in love with him. We liked him too. He was so handsome, polite, sweet…the perfect boyfriend.”

“That’s how he was when I met him,” Buffy agreed.

“One day Tara came back with a bruise. She said she had fallen. We didn’t insist on it, but a few weeks later she had another one. She pretended it was her fault, that she was just clumsy. I started to have suspicions. But Riley was always so nice and attentive…even my husband dismissed my concern when I told him. But time passed, and I was pretty sure that Riley was beating up our daughter.”

“Did she press any charges?”

“No, and that’s the problem. She loved him so much, she was blind. She was sure that somehow she had deserved that beating, because she had said or done something stupid and made him angry.”

“Did she tell you that?”

“Yes, one night finally she confessed. She had taken some sleeping pills, and didn’t realize exactly what she was saying. After that, I tried to convince her to go to the police, that if Riley was hitting her he didn’t love her. That he could end up hurting other girls. But she didn’t want to listen. Her father and I, we…we even threatened her to…we were desperate…”

“I’m sorry to make you go through that again, Mrs Maclay. I can call back later if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. You need to hear this. You have to be very careful. Where was I? Yes…After many discussions, we finally convinced her to at least break up with him. I hoped that after some time she would see things differently and agree to press charges. She told us she would see Riley at the university the day after and would break up with him. That morning, she was really smiling for the first time in…she looked so much better. She told me I was right, that she had thought about it and breaking up with Riley was the best thing to do. And she left. That was the last time I spoke to her.

The police came a few hours later. They told us there had been an accident…Tara had fallen down some stairs and her condition was critical.”
“Oh God. Do you know what happened?”

“We don’t know exactly, and we probably never will. But this is what I think happened. Tara came to see Riley and broke up with him. He probably didn’t accept it and they fought…I know Tara didn’t fall down those stairs on her own. I’m sure he’s responsible.”

“Weren’t there any witnesses?”

“Unfortunately, no. It happened at Riley’s frat house on the campus, in the afternoon. Most of the people were in classes, or in their room. It happened very fast. Apparently nobody saw anything.

“Or didn’t want to get involved.”

“Probably. But what really convinced me on Riley’s guilt was that he lied to the police. He was the last person to have seen Tara, so they interrogated him. And he made up some story where he said he had told her he wanted to end things between them, that she had lost her mind, ran away crying from his room, and she had tripped and fallen. He played the guilty devastated boyfriend really well. We tried to tell the police that it was Tara who had wanted to break things up, that he had beaten her up in the past. But Tara had never pressed any charges, so there was absolutely no proof. And I know, deep in my guts, that it’s his fault. I’m sure he pushed her.”

“What did Riley do after that?”

“A few weeks after the accident he left. People are not blind, and some of Tara’s friends had guessed what had been going on. People started to talk. I guess it was becoming uncomfortable for him here.”

Buffy was now sitting down on the floor, her legs unable to sustain her. She had no idea it had been something so dramatic. “How is Tara now?”

“She’s still in a coma. She had severe head injuries…the doctors don’t give us much hope. Even if she would wake up now, she wouldn’t really be…herself anymore.”

Buffy could hear Mrs Maclay crying softly. “I’m terribly sorry,” was all she managed to say.

“You know, it helped me to talk about it. I’m glad that you called. Maybe Riley won’t be able to make another victim this time.”

Buffy could only imagine the frustration and helplessness at knowing who the responsible was and not being able to do anything about it. To know he was outside somewhere living his life while his victim was lying in a hospital bed, and probably indefinitely.

She promised to stay in touch and hung up the phone. Her hand was shaking. She wanted to call Spike, but her voice would betray immediately that something was wrong. And this week they were shooting the last episode, so it was better not to disturb him. Willow and Xander were on their honeymoon and her father was in England.

She was alone.

That night, she stayed by her window, Spike’s baseball bat ready in her hand.

But Riley didn’t show up.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Spike was about to call Buffy when the phone rang. “Hello?”

“Hey Spike. It’s me.”

He took a deep breath. “Darla. Hey…how are you doing?”

“I’m good. The shooting is going well. I might be able to come back earlier than I thought.”

“That’s good news, love.”

“Yes, and I…I wanted to talk to you about the wedding.”

“Sure. Actually, I wanted to talk about it as well. Don’t want to tell me over the phone?”

“No…it’s too important. I’ll let you know when I come back. Will you come pick me up at the airport?”

“Of course. Call me, and I’ll be there.”

“Ok. Take care of you, Spike.”

“You too, sweetheart. Bye.”

He placed the receiver back, sighing. She wanted to talk about the wedding. Did she want to set a date? They had planned to do it in September, but had yet to decide on a date.

He put his head in his hands. This was going to be even harder than he thought. How was he going to break the news to Darla? How bad would she take it? And he had to tell her as soon as possible. After what had happened with Buffy, he couldn’t delay things any longer. He couldn’t sleep with Buffy while remaining engaged to Darla. He was not a jerk. Even if he felt like one.

Maybe he shouldn’t have gone so fast with Buffy. But this weekend had been so wonderful…just thinking about it – and her – brought a blissful smile to his face.

He would do it again in a heartbeat.

He just regretted deeply that it would take hurting Darla for him and Buffy to be happy.

He was not sure he could live with that.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

How am I going to tell him?

Darla was sitting on her bed, in the hotel’s room, resting her chin on her hands. She couldn’t tell Spike over the phone. But when she had said she wanted to talk about the wedding, she hadn’t expected him to say he did too.

Oh God. What if he wanted to set a date?

She knew he had felt guilty after the magazine incident, and had tried to make it up to her. They had been spending more time together. Then the last few days they hadn’t seen each other much because of work and socials obligations. So what if he wanted to set a date to confirm his intention of marrying her?

She couldn’t think of any other reason. And she had no idea how she was going to break the news to him.

She was already feeling horribly guilty about what had happened with David. She didn’t regret it, not for one second. But maybe they had gone a little too fast…a smile crept to her lips and she shivered while thinking about David’s strong arms around her. Who cared about fast, really?

But hurting Spike was really the last thing on earth she wanted.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


The phone rang and Buffy woke up brutally, almost falling from her chair by the window. She got up and cried out in pain when stretching her sore muscles. Sleeping while sitting in a chair was now at the top of her things-not-to-do list.

Damn you Riley. I’ll make you regret this, I swear.

“Hello?” she said, picking up the phone.

“Hey baby. How are you?”

She closed her eyes. It felt so good to hear Spike’s voice…but there was no way he wouldn’t noticed something was wrong.

“I’m ok,” she said in the most neutral voice possible.”

“Buffy…what’s going on?”

She sighed. The inconvenience of having someone who knows you better than you do. “I’m fine. I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well.”

“Listen, tonight is our last shooting. Then tomorrow we have some voice editing to do and that kind of stuff. So I think I should be able to come home by Friday. How does that sound?”

“That sounds great,” she said, unable to stop the sadness from tainting her voice. She needed to see him so much. She had thought for a moment of taking her car and going to L.A, but he had to work so she would probably bother him. Besides, she was too tired and driving for two hours was not really the most reasonable option now.

“Come on, sweetheart, don’t cry. It’s only two days, and I’ll be there. Just the two of us. Isn’t that the title of one of those cheesy songs you like?”

She laughed despite her melancholy. “It’s not cheesy. And I’m ok. I just miss you, that’s all. I wish…I wish we didn’t have to worry about anything…or anyone.”

“I know. And I miss you too. Things will get better, I promise.” He didn’t dare to tell her about Darla’s phone call and his impressions. No need to upset her even more. And once again he had to lie, or hide things. He hated this situation.

“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you on Friday, ok?”

She sniffed. “Ok. I love you, Spike.”

“I love you too, pet. Take care of you, huh?”

“Yeah. Bye.”

She put the receiver back, letting tears run freely down her cheeks. She just wanted to have a nice, normal life with the man she loved. But to get that it would take hurting a very nice woman who didn’t deserve it, dealing with a father that probably had mixed feelings about it, letting the world know that yes, Spike Atherton had indeed kissed that blonde girl who was not his fiancée, and oh, by the way she was his stepsister. And to top everything, she now had an ex-boyfriend stalking her, who apparently was just waiting for the right moment to strike. Preferably in a lethal way.

She had always thought that if she was with Spike nothing else would matter. But it wasn’t that easy.

Maybe them getting together wasn’t such a right idea after all.

CHAPTER 10


If Riley showed up the next night, Buffy didn’t see him since she was in her bed by 7 pm. After her almost sleepless night, and spending the day going through a turmoil of emotions, doubts, and questions without answers, she was feeling like her head was going to explode at any moment.

She locked all the doors and windows and buried herself in her bed.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Unfortunately, he was back the next night. And once again, she noticed him when closing the curtains.

Anger boiled inside her and she marched towards the front door, intending to give him a piece of her mind. But just before opening it, the memory of her conversation with Mrs Maclay came back to her and she took two steps backwards.

She forced herself to think reasonably. This was Riley. Prince Boring. Her ex-boyfriend. She had spent countless hours with him. Surely he wasn’t waiting for her to come out so he could shoot her in the head?

Probably not.

Then again, a girl was in a coma, allegedly because of him. And Buffy remembered all too well the way he had lost his nerves during their driving incident, and how he had seemed to take pleasure in slapping and insulting her.

So maybe it would be safer to stay inside. And grab her new best friend, Spike’s baseball bat.

But there was nothing on this earth that would make her spend another night on a chair, scared and exhausted. She dialed 911. The operator told her they would send a patrol as soon as possible.

Buffy turned on the TV and waited. She flipped through the channels absentmindedly, until she found a rerun of Spike’s show. She let it on. He wasn’t there physically, but at least she was hearing his voice. Even through the television, it was comforting.
The doorbell rang and she jumped, dropping the remote control. Oh, Buffy, you so need to calm down. A quick glance through the window revealed a police car parked in front of the house. She opened the door.

“Miss Buffy Giles?”

“Yes. Please come in.”

The officer walked in, followed by his colleague, a blond guy with a dorky look.

“I’m officer Meers, this is officer Wells. You called to report a stalking?”

“Yes, it’s my ex-boyfriend, Riley Finn. He’s been standing in front of my house for the last two or three nights. He just stands there, watching. I don’t know if it really qualifies as stalking, but it’s creeping me out.”

Officer Meers made a head gesture towards his colleague who opened the front door and went out. He came back a few minutes later.

“No one in sight.”

“Well, he probably vanished when he saw the police car,” Buffy said, restraining the big ‘Duh!’ that was following.

You know, that might scare him for good. Maybe he won’t bother you anymore.”

I seriously doubt that, she thought.

“The thing is, I found out lately that he has sort of a…heavy past. His former girlfriend is in a coma right now because of him. So I must admit I’m a little worried.”

“Has he been arrested?”

“No…I know it may seem weird, but no one pressed charges.”

“So he has no criminal record?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well then, Miss Giles, I’m afraid we can’t do much for now. Unless we catch him in the act…”

“Oh, so you mean I have to wait for him to slit my throat to be taken in consideration?”

“Of course not. But we can’t arrest him just because he was standing in front of your house. We can patrol around here the next few nights. If he sees a police car passing by several times, that might discourage him.”

Buffy didn’t believe it for a minute, but knew better than to argue.

“Is there anyone who could come and stay with you?” Officer Meers asked.

She shook her head. “My father is in England until next week. My best friends are on their honeymoon. And my…my stepbrother lives in LA.”

She saw them glimpse at the TV screen before exchanging a glance. Oh, great.

“Your stepbrother is Spike Atherton, right?” Officer Meers asked in a casual tone.

“Yes.” Her tone was defensive.

“I’m sure he would come running if you called him,” Officer Wells said with a knowing smirk.

Buffy tried to control herself. “What is that supposed to mean?” she asked in a calm voice, looking at the younger officer with disdain.

“What my colleague means, of course, is that we are sure that Mr Atherton is very concerned about your safety and would consider it his family duty to come and help you as soon as he can,” Officer Meers intervened, smiling, before casting a warning glance at his partner.

Buffy sighed. In any other circumstance she would have reacted, but now she was too tired and upset to care.

The two officers took their leave. Buffy closed the door and leaned against it for a few minutes. She was so fed up with all this. And she really needed to hear Spike tell her they were not making a big mistake. She needed to hear his voice. But if she called him and told him about Riley, he would come running, exactly like that stupid officer had said. And she didn’t want that. She was a big girl, and she would handle this herself.

Buffy heard a noise in the kitchen and froze.

Had she locked the back door correctly? Were all the windows closed?

Holding her breath, she turned off the TV. She got her baseball bat and made her way to the kitchen. The lights were still on. She checked the door; it was locked. Same for the windows. Everything was quiet. She must have dreamed it.
She walked back to the living room, rubbing her eyes.

Suddenly, someone grabbed her from behind, encircling her neck in a vicious grip. She tried to scream but a gloved hand muffled her attempt.

“You stupid bitch,” a voice whispered in her ear, “You’re going to pay. Soon.”

Then he pushed her and she fell, her head brutally hitting one of the small table’s legs. She wasn’t totally knocked out, though, and she heard the back door slam.

Silence fell back on the house, except for the frantic beating of her heart. For some time she stayed on the ground, unable to move. Her head was starting to throb painfully. She raised her hand to it and met the sticky feel of blood.

Grimacing, she tried to get up but realized immediately that she wouldn’t be able to stand on her legs. Slowly, she made her way on all fours to the coffee table and picked up the phone. For the second time that night, she dialed 911. Then she called the family doctor, who lived nearby.

Her whole body suddenly started to shake and a sob escaped her. She tried to dial Spike’s number but her hands were shaking too violently, so she let the phone drop beside her. She would ask the officer to call him.

She positioned herself in a foetal position and waited for the first person that would ring the doorbell.


§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
Spike looked at the sign mentioning that Sunnydale was only ten miles away and smiled.

The editing work and the rest had gone faster than he expected, so he had decided at the last minute to go to Sunnydale tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow. But he hadn’t warned Buffy, wanting to surprise her. He had pushed Darla’s impending return and the inevitable discussion that would follow to the back of his mind.

He just wanted to enjoy a few days of happiness with Buffy before reality hit them back in the face.

His cell phone rang and their home number appeared on the small screen. He chuckled. Could she have felt he was on the way back home?

“Evening, pet.”

“Mr Atherton?”

Spike frowned. “Yes. Who is this?”

“Mr Atherton, I’m officer Meers. I’m calling you on behalf of your stepsister who’s been attacked.”

Spike lost the control of his car for a second and deviated dangerously. A furious horn shook him out of his shock.

“What happened? Is she hurt?”

“She’s ok. The doctor is with her. She asked me to call you.”

Spike was sure the officer could hear the loud thumping of his heart. He closed his eyes before remembering where he was. “Listen, I’m on my way to Sunnydale, actually. I should be home in about 15 minutes.”

“I’m sure Miss Giles will be glad to hear that.”

Spike put the phone back on the passenger seat. Another horn made him realize he was now driving across two traffic lanes. He cursed under his breath and focused on the road, trying to respect the speed limit despite a strong will to step on the gas.

So help him, whoever had laid his hands on Buffy would regret it for the rest of his life.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Once he arrived, Spike almost burst into the house. The officer was still there, as well as the doctor who was done tending to Buffy. Spike ran to her and took her in his arms.

“My God, sweetheart, are you alright?” he whispered into her hair.

She nodded, holding onto him tightly and thanking the Powers for his presence. She tried not to break down in front of the officer and the doctor. It had been enough of a show for tonight already.

Still holding her, Spike turned to the doctor. “Thanks for coming, John. Will she be ok?”

The doctor smiled reassuringly. “She'll be fine. I didn’t even have to put on stitches. Those little stripe bandages will do,” he said, showing a small box. “And I gave her painkillers. She might feel a little groggy tomorrow.”

“Thank you, John”, Buffy said in a little voice.

The doctor patted her on the shoulder. “Give my regards to your dad, ok? William, take care of her.”

“I will,” Spike said, kissing the other side of her forehead.

The doctor said his goodbyes to the officer and left. Spike then realized the officer was still there and that he hadn’t even acknowledged him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I was so worried…I’m Spike Atherton.”

“Officer Meers. I’m the one who called you earlier. Your stepsister had already called us tonight to report the stalking.”

Spike frowned. “The what?”
“Miss Giles told us her ex-boyfriend had been stalking her for the last few days. Miss Giles, do you think he was the one who attacked you tonight?”

“I’m not sure, I didn’t see anything,” she said, avoiding Spike’s interrogative glance. “I think he came through my bedroom window. I always leave it open. And he jumped on me on my way from the kitchen to the living room, so I guess he was coming from upstairs. Oh, and he was wearing gloves.”

The officer nodded and took some notes. Spike crossed his arms with a not very pleased look on his face. Buffy bit her lips. Looked like it was time for some revelations. And it wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Did he say anything?” Officer Meers inquired again.

“Something like, ‘you’re going to pay, bitch.’ He was whispering, so I’m not sure I recognized his voice. I was in a bit of a shock.”

“Sounds like Finn to me,” Spike intervened in a neutral tone, but Buffy could feel the anger boiling beneath the surface.

Officer Meers closed his little notebook. “Well, Miss Giles, I’ll send someone tomorrow to ask that Riley Finn some questions. Just so he knows we have an eye on him. And I’ll ask my colleague to investigate about that girlfriend of his who’s in a coma. But if he has no criminal record like you said, I’m afraid it won’t help very much.”

Buffy heard Spike’s gasp and met his disbelieving look. She sighed. Definitely not pretty. And she was the only one to blame. “This is Janet Maclay’s phone number,” she said, handing the officer the piece of paper where it was written. But please don’t call her if it’s not necessary. I told you everything she told me, so I would prefer for her not to be bothered.”

The officer nodded. “Alright. Have a good evening, then, Miss Giles. Mr Atherton…”

“Bye, Officer.”

Spike closed the door behind him and turned back to Buffy. This time the anger was clear on his face.

She tried to look repentant and miserable, hoping the bandage on her forehead would help. But she knew very well it wouldn’t work.

“So, Finn is stalking you? His ex-girlfriend is in a coma? And you knew about this?”

She nodded, swallowing painfully.

“Buffy…” he said calmly, before suddenly raising his tone, “What THE HELL is going on here??”

CHAPTER 11

When they were younger, Buffy had often had fights and quarrels with Spike. But never, ever had he looked at her with such anger.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a trembling voice.

“I didn’t ask you to apologize. I want an explanation,” he replied coldly.

She didn’t dare to look at him, couldn’t bear to see him look at her that way.

“Willow told me you had asked her to do some research on Riley. So she called his former university in Iowa. And they gave her a phone number.”

“Did they say anything else?”

Buffy sighed. Why had she hidden all this from him? That was probably the stupidest thing she had ever done. “The woman on the phone told Willow to stay away from Riley. That he was dangerous. And to call the number if we wanted more information.”

Spike’s nostrils flared. “Dangerous, huh? And since when did you know this?”

“A few days before Will and Xander’s wedding.”

“You knew this at the wedding?” he asked, unable to conceal the hurt from his eyes.

“Yes. Spike, I’m sorry…”

“I don’t care, Buffy. You lied to me. You knew Riley was dangerous and you didn’t tell me!”

His voice had risen again and he tried to calm down. But he was furious. She had deliberately hidden the truth from him, and therefore had put herself in danger. “Did you call that number then?”

She shook her head. “Not immediately. I know now it was stupid, but I didn’t give what the woman said much credit. I wanted to put Riley behind me, and I preferred to ignore it. I thought I could handle him if need be.”

He laughed ironically. “Handle him? Buffy, look at you for God’s sake!” He exclaimed, referring to the bandages on her head.

“I know!” she exclaimed, anger rising as well. “And shouting at me won’t make it better. I’m the one with the bump in the forehead remember? I’m the only one to blame.”

He passed his hand through his hair and lowered his tone. “So when did you call that number?”

“When Riley started stalking me. Two or three days ago.”

She told him about her phone call to Janet Maclay and what had presumably happened with Tara. By the end of her story, Spike was chalk white.

“And you didn’t think that the fact that your ex-boyfriend was dangerous and almost killed a girl was serious enough for you to call me?” he finally asked quietly.

“I…I didn’t want to bother you. And until two days ago, I hadn’t realize how serious it was, I swear.”

He simply looked at her, at the white gauze covering her forehead, her pale face, her green eyes holding back tears. She tried to reason him.

“Spike, even if I had told you, what difference would it have made? You couldn’t come, you had to work. I couldn’t ask you to come here and baby-sit me 24/7, right? I wanted to call you, I did…but I honestly thought I could take care of it.”

He sat on the table in front of her. He didn’t look angry anymore, but he had a morose face that Buffy didn’t like much more.

He sighed. “You’re right, I wouldn’t probably have made a difference. In fact, none of this would have happened if we hadn’t gotten involved with each other in the first place.”

Buffy felt an icy claw grasping her heart. “Spike, no. We couldn’t…”

“Buffy, face it. What did you gain by being with me? Nothing, except getting hurt. That’s it.”

“That’s not true!” she protested vehemently, taking his hand in hers. “I don’t regret one single moment we had together. It’s worth it, remember?”

“Well, look what good it did to you,” he said in a weary voice, pointing at her wound. “I told your dad I would take care of you. I did a bloody grand job of it, didn’t I?”

“Spike, please, don’t talk this way. What happened with Riley is not your fault. He probably would have lost it one day or another.”

She was feeling sick to her stomach. She had never seen him look so somber and like he was ready to give up. She realized now that he probably had had his own doubts about the whole situation, and unfortunately, what had happened tonight seemed to have reinforced them.

He got up. “You should go to bed. It’s getting late, and you have to rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Her heart fell in her chest. “Spike, please, don’t let this separate us. Please.”

He gave her a look of slight surprise. “I never said that. But you’ve been through a lot tonight, and it would be reasonable for you to get some rest.”

She nodded, swallowing her tears. She walked to him and kissed him on the cheek. He kissed her back absentmindedly.

Trying very hard not to burst into sobs, Buffy made her way to the stairs.

“Buffy…” Spike said. She turned back to him, hopeful. “Your painkillers,” he reminded her, handing her the box.

“Oh…Thank you,” she managed to say in a high-pitched voice.

This was turning into a nightmare. And she’d rather have Riley stalking her for the rest of her life than have Spike behaving almost like a stranger to her. Of course she had acted foolishly by lying to him and he had every right to be mad at her. But she would never let Riley, or any doubts, come between them.

All her own doubts had vanished as soon as he had entered the house tonight. She loved him, and she knew he loved her. They had a chance at being happy together, and she would fight for that with every fiber of her being.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

One hour later, she was still tossing and turning in her bed. There was no way she could sleep, knowing Spike was in the house and with that sudden emotional distance between them. Not after the love, passion and tenderness they had share only a few days ago.

The painkillers the doctor had given her were strong ones, and she was feeling dizzy and light-headed. At least her forehead wasn’t hurting anymore.

The door to his room was open, and the soft sound of the television revealed that he was still downstairs. She carefully descended the stairs, stopping before entering the living room.

Despite the situation, she smiled. There was an air of déjà vu, what with Spike lying on the couch and herself standing there, watching him. It reminded her of that night three years ago. The night of his mom’s funeral, and the first time they had kissed.

At times like this, she really missed Joyce’s presence more than ever. She always knew how to make things right. But Buffy wasn’t a little girl anymore, and Joyce was gone. And she had a stalking ex-boyfriend and a stepbrother turned lover to deal with.

She walked to the couch and he raised his head. “I thought I told you to get some sleep. You’ll never heal properly if you stay up all night,” he scolded her.

“I can’t sleep if you’re mad at me. I can’t be alone in my bed if I know you’re only a few feet away,” she said calmly, showing that she had every intention to stay and clear things out.

Spike closed his eyes for a second. “I can’t sleep either”, he finally admitted, and reached for her hand. “Come here.”

Repressing a sigh of relief, she slipped into his open arms. They kissed fervently, holding each other tightly. Then he pulled away and looked into her eyes. “I was so scared when that police officer called me,” he said, his voice shaking slightly, either by the kiss or the reminiscence of that phone call. Or possibly both. “I can’t lose you, Buffy. I can’t.”

“And you won’t. I’m here, and I love you. Always,” she assured him, putting soft kisses on his cheeks and jaw before reaching his lips for another searing kiss.

“I’m sorry for not telling you about Riley.”

“I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you better.”

She took his face in her hands. “Spike, listen to me. For the last time, it’s not your fault. It’s not mine. We can’t go against our feelings, and we certainly couldn’t guess that Riley was a psycho. Things have not been easy for us, and if we have a single chance to find happiness, I won’t let this come between us. You’re everything to me, and I won’t let you walk away so easily.”

“I have no intention of going away, ever,” he affirmed her, kissing her forehead near her wound. “But I admit I had doubts. I asked myself a lot of questions. But when I got that awful phone call, all the doubts were gone. Then I heard you had lied to me about Finn, and they peeked their ugly heads again. But it didn’t last. And I never doubted my love for you. Never,” he finished softly.

She smiled. “Neither did I. That part was very clear in my head.”

She rested said head on his chest and they entangled their legs, making themselves comfortable. Spike put his arm around her waist and pressed her tightly against him, as if he was afraid she might disappear. His hand moved in a soothing motion on her back, and sleep finally took her over, now that she was finally safe and at peace in his arms.

He watched over her tenderly for a moment before succumbing to sleep as well.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Riley walked into his office and put his bag on the chair. The door slammed violently behind him and he jumped. Turning back, he found Spike standing in front of him, looking like he was about to rip somebody’s guts. Most likely his.

Riley raised his hands. “The police already came this morning, and I told them I had nothing to do with it. So leave me alone, ok?”

Spike grabbed him by the collar, his eyes blazing fire. “I don’t give a shit about what you told the police, you pathetic wanker. If you ever go near Buffy again, if you touch a single hair on her head, I’ll personally take care of you. Am I making myself clear?”

Riley nodded frantically. “Yes! Let me go! You have nothing against me!”

Spike pushed him away with a disgusted look. “Just one single hair,” he repeated before leaving.

Riley caught his breath and straightened his shirt. He had expected to see the police, but not Atherton. Well, not so soon. He knew he had to be careful now, but if he had gotten away with things so easily the first time, there was no reason it wouldn’t work this time as well. And he hadn’t been able to resist playing with Buffy’s nerves a little bit.

Now all he had to do was wait for the right moment.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

When Buffy woke up, she was alone in her bed. At some point last night, Spike had probably brought her here, but she didn’t know if he had stayed with her or not.

She wasn’t feeling her best. The hit on her head and emotions of yesterday were taking their toll. She was looking for her painkillers when the door opened and Spike walked in, holding an orange juice.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” he said, smiling. He came to sit beside her. “How are you feeling?”

“Not my usually brilliant self,” she admitted. “Is this fresh orange juice?”

“Specially squeezed for the invalid,” he joked, handing it to her, as well as a painkiller.

“Thanks.” She took it and drank. Once finished, Spike placed the glass on the nightstand and then caressed her hair tenderly.

“Why don’t you stay in bed today and rest? I already called the school and told them you wouldn’t go.”

“Thank you,” she repeated, taking his hand and putting it on her cheek, savouring the feel of it. “I think I’ll do just that. Will you stay with me for a bit?” she asked with puppy eyes.

He smiled, took off his shoes and sat against the headboard, putting his arms around her. With a sigh of pleasure, she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head.

“What time is it, by the way?”

“11.30. I bought some stuff for lunch, if you feel hungry later.”

“You went out?”

He hesitated. “Yes…did some grocery shopping…and went to see a bloke who needed a good warning.”

There was a silence then Buffy got up on her elbow and watched him. “You went to see Riley?”

“Yeah…I really wanted to give him the thrashing of his life, but it would have put me in a problematic situation…I just threatened him not to come near you again.”

“Wow…what did he say?”

“Just that the police had already asked him some questions, and that he had nothing to do with it.”

“Liar,” Buffy muttered. “He’s a sick freak. I’m sure he just wanted to play with my nerves, last night. Maybe he’ll understand, now that he knows both the police and you have an eye on him. Thank you. You’re my knight in shining armour,” she said, kissing his jaw.

Spike smiled. “I won’t let anyone hurt my girl,” he said, stroking her arm tenderly.

But a disturbing thought was creeping in his mind. He was so furious that he had come to see Riley without thinking about anything else but the fact that he had touched Buffy. But as she had said, he was a sick, dangerous freak.

What if instead of scaring him, he had pissed off the bastard even more?

CHAPTER 12

Another two days and I can go home, Darla thought. A prospect she was both dreading and looking forward to.

She called David. “Hey,” she greeted him softly when he answered.

“Hey. How’s work doing?”

“Good. I finished earlier, and I’ll be back Monday night.”

“Great. So…no change of heart?”

She smiled. “Absolutely not. You?”

“Hell no! I’ve been waiting for this long enough. You’re stuck with me, Sweetheart.”

“I certainly hope so. I’ll call Spike and will talk to him as soon as possible, ok?”

“Ok. I’m not sure he will ever talk to me again after that,” he said in a sad voice.

“I know your friendship is important to you. But we don’t know how he will take it. It might not be that bad,” she tried to comfort him, but wasn’t feeling much better herself. She was still wondering about that talk he wanted to have with her, probably to set a date.

Unless…

Unless he wanted to break up with her as well. Considering all that had happened with Buffy lately… Why hadn’t she thought about that in the first place? Of course!

“Don’t worry too much,” she told David. “It might go better than we expect.”

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

After three days of rest – and Spike’s constant and attentive care – Buffy had recovered. She was still sporting a fading green-violet bruise, but didn’t need to put any bandages on it anymore.
On this Sunday morning, she was contemplating the interior of the fridge. “I’m afraid that a little trip to the supermarket will be our first exciting activity today.”

Spike folded the newspaper he was reading. “You’re up to it?”

“Sure. I feel much better.”

With an evil glint in his eyes, he came behind her and pressed his body against hers. “I’m very glad to hear it, Sweetheart,” he whispered, nibbling on the sensitive spot on her neck, eliciting a sigh of pleasure. His hands found their way under her top and he murmured his contentment when he realized that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Buffy moaned and turned around, seeking his mouth. They hadn’t shared any real intimacy for the past three days, what with Spike wanting Buffy to recover first. They had slept in each other’s arms, but they hadn’t made love. Buffy had appreciated Spike’s concern, of course, but now she was craving his touch. And judging by the hardness she was feeling between them, Spike seemed rather enthusiastic about the idea as well.

They exchanged some heated kisses, before Buffy pushed him slightly away. “Hmm, honey…my butt is starting to freeze,” She said, and Spike noticed that the fridge’s door was still open, and Buffy’s bottom was pressed between the orange juice and the yogurts.

He chuckled. “Ok, let me warm it up for you,” he said, rubbing her butt vigourously, provoking her amusement.

His cell phone rang, interrupting their foreplay.

“Hello? Oh, hi Darla.”

Buffy sobered immediately. Having Spike with her for several days had almost made her forget he was still engaged to another woman.

“…that’s great. I’ll be in Sunnydale until Monday. What about Tuesday nigh? My place, eight o’clock?”

Buffy filled the dishwasher, ignoring the knot in her stomach. Of course they had to talk and he wanted to break up with her…but why at his apartment? Couldn’t they go to the restaurant or something?

“Ok, I’ll see you then. Bye.”

Spike put his phone back on the island. “Darla’s coming back tomorrow. I’ll see her on Tuesday.”

“Yeah, I heard. Don’t forget to break up with her after making her dinner,” she said coldly.

He looked at her incredulously. “Hey, hey, hey! What’s going on here? If I want to end things with Darla, I have to see her, right? There’s no way I will do it over the phone. I feel enough of a jerk as it is. I asked her to marry me, Buffy. And now I’m breaking up with her, for you. Because I love you. What more do you want from me?”

Buffy didn’t need to hear it to regret her words. She had regretted them as soon as she had voiced them. How could she have said something so stupid and selfish? Once again, there was hurt and incomprehension on his face, and she was the cause of it.

The whole situation with Riley on one hand, and Darla on the other, had really gotten on her nerves, but they were not reasons to take it out on Spike. After all, he was the one giving her the strength to go through this.

She mentally kicked herself. She hadn’t realized so far that she really had the power to hurt him. Because he truly loved her. “I’m sorry. Jealousy got the best of me. I didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’ll go take a shower,” he muttered, leaving the kitchen.

Buffy sighed. Way to ruin a perfect Sunday.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§



Buffy had gotten dressed while he was in the shower, and now she didn’t know what to do with herself. She was flipping through the TV channels when he came down. He got his car keys.

“Didn’t you say something about grocery shopping?” he asked, but his tone was neutral.

She turned the TV off. “Yeah…let’s go.”

Once at the supermarket, she started to fill the cart he was pushing. He was looking everywhere but at her and hadn’t muttered a sound.

At the canned food section, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Spike…”

Still no look in her direction.

“Spike, I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen.”

That got his attention. He finally turned to her.

“At that time, and during all those years, I thought you could never love me back. So what’s happened between us the last few days…it’s still sinking in. Sometimes I even think it’s a dream and I’ll wake up. And other times, I fully realize what’s going on, and I’m scared. I have doubts, like you. I wonder if we’re doing the right thing. But when we’re together, the doubts vanish. I know this – us- is right. And I’m sorry if I acted like a spoiled brat. The fact that you’re breaking up with Darla to be with me…there’s always that insecure little part of me that has trouble believing it.”

She put her hand on his forearm. “I’m really sorry,” she repeated softly.

He looked at her hand, then took it in his. “You have to trust me on this, Buffy. I know I don’t seem like the most reliable person right now. After all, I asked Darla to marry me and now I’m turning her down. But when I say I love you, I mean it. With all my heart.”

She smiled. “I know. Am I forgiven then?”

As an answer, he pulled her to him and gave her a breathless kiss. She put her arms around his neck and for a moment they forgot everything that wasn’t them.

Until a gasp behind them reminded them where they were. They pulled apart and turned around, just in time to see an old lady with a shocked face disappear into another section.

Buffy put her hand on her mouth, repressing a laugh. “I think it was Mrs Clayton from the drugstore.”

“Well then,” he said, letting go of her and taking back the cart, “let’s finish this before getting caught by the whole bloody town – or even worse, another paparazzi.”

“Good idea. Shall we buy something to make a picnic and spend the afternoon at the beach? I really need to enjoy some fresh air after spending so much time inside.”

“Anything you want, my love.”

She couldn’t resist and grabbed his head for another kiss.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

When they got back home at the end of the afternoon, there was a message on the answering machine. Willow’s voice filled the room.

“Hey Buffy, we’re leaving for the airport, we’ll be back tomorrow in the afternoon. I can’t wait to see you. Bye!”

Buffy smiled. “Oh, that’s right, they’re coming back tomorrow already.”

“And on Tuesday, it’s Rupert and Jenny.”

“Wow. Time for a lot of explanations. Willow and Xander don’t really know about what happened. Willow knows about my feelings, but not the rest.”

Spike let himself fall on the couch. “Explaining to Will and Xander is not really what I’m concerned about. Your dad, on the other hand…”

She sat next to him and put her head on his chest. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll be glad to see us happy. He told you he trusted you, right?”

He kissed her head. “I have to do everything in my power to keep it that way, then.”

She smiled wickedly. “I have a few suggestions.”

She whispered in his ear and Spike grinned. His hand slid under her short dress, pushing aside her swimsuit. She gasped at the feel of his fingers.

“Oh…we’re doing this now, then?”

Spike gave her an innocent look. “If you want me to stop…”

“No!” she said, grasping his arm. “Now is good. Now is…aah…perfect,” she finished with a sigh, moving her legs to give him better access. He laid her on the couch, and his mouth covered hers, the kiss slow and gentle. Then it changed and he was devouring her.

With a sudden urgency, Buffy got rid of his shorts and at the simple touch of her small fingers on him he let a groan escape. She smiled. She loved that power she had over him, the power they had on each other at the merest touch.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured. He eased the top of her dress off her shoulders, revealing her breasts. Tenderly, he rained kisses on them, using his lips and his tongue to drive her to the edge. Her rising moans were a pretty clear indication that she was not far from it.

“Spike…” she pleaded, bringing his rigid shaft to her entrance. She eased her legs apart and he slid into her with fluidity. He started to move slowly, letting the pleasure build between them. They were kissing tenderly, pouring all their heart into it. When Spike felt that the climax was near, he opened his eyes and cupped her cheek with his hand.

“Buffy,” he panted, and she opened her eyes as well, plunging in his blue depths.

“I love you,” he whispered, and she could see his love clearly in his eyes. She felt her heart swell with love at the same time as she was carried away by a wave of pleasure, followed very quickly by Spike.

They stayed like this for a moment, entangled in their mutual bliss.

“I love you too,” she said, caressing his back and pressing him against her, not wanting to let go. Which wasn’t his intention anyway. He settled comfortably on the couch, nuzzling her neck with satisfied noises.

“You are aware that this was just round one?” he grinned, and she giggled, readying herself for the many pleasures that were to come.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


On Monday morning, Buffy was still under the effect of her magical night with Spike. They had made love several time, and each time had been more tender and fulfilling than the previous one.

She was feeling totally energized, and for the first time she had a total confidence in the future. Something so beautiful couldn’t simply end badly.

The phone rang, putlling her out of her blissful reverie.

When Spike came downstairs, Buffy was hanging up. “Oh, there you are,” she said. “The call was for you. I thought you were still in the shower.”

He came to her, taking her in his arms and giving her a toe-curling kiss. “Good morning to you too, sweetness,” he said with a teasing smile. “Who called?”

“Some guy named Diego. He said he was Joss’ assistant, that they had had some problem with the voice editing or something like that on the last episode. He wanted to know if you could come as soon as possible.”

Spike frowned. “Diego? Why didn’t he call my cell phone?” he wondered, then noticed said phone was turned off. “Ok, I guess that explains it. I’ll call him back.” He dialed a number and waited a few seconds before hanging up. “No answer. That’s all he said?” he asked Buffy.

She shrugged. “Yep. Apparently it seemed important you came as soon as possible.”

“I guess it is. That episode is supposed to air next week,” he sighed. “I don’t want to leave you alone here.”

She smiled and slipped into his arms. “Oh, come on. It’s broad daylight. Willow and Xander will be back in a few hours. And honestly, I think that Riley got the message.”

“I suppose,” he said, only half-convinced.

“Why don’t you take my car and leave yours here? This way, if Riley happens to be passing by, he’ll think you’re here. What do you say?”

He smiled. “It’s an idea. And maybe…” he hesitated. “Maybe I can try to catch Darla tonight then, instead of waiting for tomorrow. So I can come back here afterwards and…we can talk about us…about the future.”

Buffy nodded, and buried her head in the crook of his neck. He caressed her hair. “Last night was special,” he whispered against her forehead, placing a soft kiss on her scar.

She smiled happily. “So you felt it too?”

“In more ways than one,” he joked lightly, before adding more seriously, “I don’t want to leave you.”

“The faster you go, the faster you’ll be back,” she told him, eyes shining, hand caressing his cheek.

“Good point, love. And I’ll come back as soon as I have talked to Darla. It might be late though.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

He gave her one last passionate kiss before grabbing the car keys and leaving.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


Twenty minutes after leaving Sunnydale, Spike realized he had forgotten his cellphone. Cursing, he stopped the car at the next gas station. He would have to go back to get it, because he didn’t want to stay away all day without a mean for Buffy to reach him. Just in case.

He went to a public phone to try to call Diego again and tell him he was on his way. This time he got an answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Diego. It’s Spike.”

“Hey Spike”.

“Listen, mate, I was on my way to L.A but I forgot my cell phone. I’ll go get it then I’ll be there asap, ok?”

“Sure…Be there for what exactly?”

“What do you mean ‘be there for what’? For that voice editing problem or whatever it is.”

“A voice editing problem?”

Spike clutched the phone when he heard the perplexity in Diego’s voice. His mouth was suddenly very dry. “You called this morning and talked to Buffy about it.”

Diego’s next words froze him in horror. “What? Spike, I’m sorry, but I never called you.”

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


Buffy walked into the kitchen and noticed that there were more useful things to do than wandering around her house daydreaming with a stupid smile on her face.

She started to put the living room in order, and saw Spike’s cell phone on the table. Hmmm…she mused. Maybe he would realize he had forgotten it and would come back to get it, which meant more delicious smoochies for Buffy.

There was a knock on the front door. Speaking of the devil…

With a smile, she went to open it.

CHAPTER 13


“Hello Buffy.”

Buffy tried to close the door but Riley blocked it with his foot quickly. He walked inside and closed the door behind him. The young woman took two steps backward, trying to conceal her fear.

“Go away, Riley, or I’ll call the police.”

He laughed. “Yeah, right.”

“Spike will be back in a few minutes,” she lied.

“No he won’t. I made sure he was on his way to L.A. He won’t be back for at least a few hours. And what I’m here for will only take a couple of minutes,” he added with a satisfied smirk.

Buffy looked at him incredulously. “You were the one who called this morning?”

How come she hadn’t recognized him? She had been so lost in her daydream that she hadn’t really paid attention to the caller’s voice. “But Spike called Diego back. How could you be sure he wouldn’t answer then?”

Riley shrugged. “I couldn’t. It was pure luck. I just waited for Atherton to leave the house…and you, here, all alone. Tsk tsk. Such carelessness.”

She tried to run to the back door but he caught her easily, grasping her hair. She cried in pain and he put his hand over her mouth.

“Do you really think that sending the cops and your lover would scare me?”

She shook her head and struggled fruitlessly. His hand was covering half of her nose and she had trouble breathing.

He threw her violently on the floor, and her head hit the first step of the stairs. Then he kicked her twice in the stomach, and she coiled herself into a foetal position, covering her head with her arms in a vain attempt at protection.

She tried to scream but only a faint squeal came out of her mouth.
Her thoughts were going to Tara Maclay, and how she was about to know the same fate. And Spike wouldn’t be here, and he would be horrified when he realized that they had been tricked. He hadn’t wanted to leave Buffy alone and he had been right.

I’m sorry Spike. I’m sorry. I love you.

But it would be too late.

Riley put on a pair of gloves, then grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into the kitchen. Opening some drawers, he found what he was looking for : a very sharp little kitchen knife.

“See, I was thinking on making it look like a painful accident, pushing you down the stairs for instance. Then again that’s what happened to Tara, so it would be too risky for me. So I had this brilliant idea,” he said, in a cheerfully creepy tone, showing her the knife. “Suicide. That’s the key. Isn’t it clever?”

She didn’t answer and he shook her violently. She winced at a sudden pain in her shoulder.

“I’m talking to you, bitch!”

She raised her head and stared at him with pure hatred. “Go to hell, Riley. When Spike will finds out, he’ll kill you,” she told him in a raspy, barely audible voice. He heard her though, and she saw him falter for a mere second, before slashing her cheek cruelly. A flood of blood escaped, running down her face and into her mouth, making her choke. That seemed to please him to no end.

“I wasted enough time with you already. Time to finish this.”

Holding her wrist, Riley made a clean cut, and blood spattered on her body and on his arm. He noticed that she had passed out, and with a vile smile, took her other arm.

An inhuman roar resonated behind him, before two hands caught him by the shoulders, sending him across the room and against the wall. The contact was brutal and knocked Riley out immediately.

Spike rushed to Buffy, terror filling him. There was blood everywhere.

“Buffy…Oh God. No…”

He took a dishtowel and pressed it to her slashed wrist, but it was soon soaked with blood.

Desperate, he ran to the living room, picked up the phone and called for an ambulance and the police. The white phone was soon tinted with bloodstains coming from his hand.

Her blood.

He came back to her, placing pressure on the towel against her wrist again. He pressed his ear to her face and felt her breath. But her pulse was slowing down awfully fast.

“Stay with me, Buffy, please. Please, Baby…”

He pressed his lips on her forehead, whispering fervent prayers against her skin.

The ambulance and the police arrived at the same time.


§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


Helpless, Spike watched the doctors and nurses take Buffy away to the operating room.

He was feeling numb. Only a few hours ago, they were making love tenderly, she was talking, laughing, teasing him.

And now she was covered with her own blood, struggling to stay alive.

If only he had tried harder to reach Diego *before* leaving the house…if he hadn’t come back because of his cell phone, Buffy would be dead by now. He clutched his chest, trying to repress the sobs. It was not the moment to break down. And he wouldn’t have a reason to break down anyway.

Because she would not die. She would be ok. She had to.

What would become of him if she…Oh God, what was he going to tell Rupert? He was supposed to take care of her!

“Sir? Are you alright?”

He raised his head and met the concerned look of a nurse.

“Are you hurt?” she asked again, and he realized he had blood on his hand and shirt, and probably on his face too.

“It…It’s not my blood,” he managed to say. “It’s my girlfriend’s,” Spike added, realizing it was the first time he was talking about Buffy publicly that way. Not his stepsister. His girlfriend.

His girl.

He also noticed that he was attracting stares from other people around, either by the fact that he had so much blood on him, or that they had recognized him.

“Can I go…Is there a bathroom somewhere?”

Smiling gently, the nurse led him to the nearest men’s room.

“Do you need anything, sir? A glass of water?” she asked again.

“No…thank you.”

He didn’t want a glass of water. He just wanted Buffy to be ok. He wanted to wake up in his bed and discover that it was just an awful nightmare. He would wake up Buffy, kiss her and hold her tightly to him for the rest of the night, and the rest of his life.

But even his worst nightmares couldn’t have prepared him for this.

He quickly washed his face and hands. Some of the blood had tainted his bleached locks, and it didn’t want to wash away. The dried blood was creating a shocking contrast on his white head.

He came back to the hallway and prepared himself for an excruciating wait. He sat on a chair, putting his head in his hands.


§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

A hand on his shoulder shook him from his torpor. He got up suddenly. The doctor was standing in front of him.

“I’m Dr Carter. You were the person who brought the young woman with the slashed wrist?”

“Yes. She’s my…my stepsister,” he said, thinking that in this case the family bond would be more useful. “Buffy. Is she ok? Tell me she’s ok.”

“She should be. She has several broken ribs, and she’s suffering from a slight concussion. Her right shoulder was also dislocated. The cut on her cheek will leave a scar, though. She lost a lot of blood, but you brought her in time.”

“Can I see her?”

“She’s still in the recovery room. We’ll take her to a private room in about fifteen minutes. The nurse will let you know.”

“But she’ll be ok?” Spike insisted.

The doctor hesitated. “Her life’s not in danger anymore. But she suffered a severe beating and a crucial loss of blood. We can just wait now for her to wake up. The sooner the better.” He put his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “She’s under the best care. Don’t worry.”

Spike nodded, not sure he was totally reassured with this. “Alright. Thank you doctor.”

The doctor smiled before leaving. The nurse – her nametag indicated ‘Abby’ – came to him. “I’m sorry sir, but I need you to fill out some papers. Can you come with me?”

Spike followed her. Might as well do that now, he thought. Keep his mind busy, while waiting for Buffy to be brought back to her room.

After filling the usual administrative papers, he left a message on Willow and Xander’s phone. They weren’t home yet, but they would want to know what had happened.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he was able to see Buffy.

She looked almost as white as the sheets. A bandage covered her damaged cheek, as well as her wrist. And there were way too many tubes going in and out of her for Spike’s taste.

He grabbed a chair and sat next to the bed. He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “Hey baby. The doctor said you’d be fine. You just have to wake up soon. I’m right here next to you, ok?”

A small delusional part of him had hoped she would wake up when she heard his voice. But it didn’t happen, of course. He put a trembling hand on her forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Another hour passed, and Xander and Willow arrived. Spike jumped slightly when they entered the room. He had dozed off with his head on the bed next to Buffy.

His friends hugged him tightly, before turning to Buffy’s unconscious body, horrified.

“What happened?”

“Riley…Riley tricked me into leaving the house and attacked her. I had forgotten my cell phone and I came back just in time before he killed her.”

Xander shook his head. “Riley did this? But how…?”

Spike explained to them what had happened since their wedding. Willow took Buffy’s hand. “I knew I should have forced her to call that number immediately.”

Xander put a comforting arm on her shoulders. “Honey, I’m afraid it wouldn’t have changed anything. Riley is crazy, he wanted to get his revenge and he would have fond one way or another.”

“Xander’s right. The guy is sick. And we…I totally underestimated him.” Spike’s jaw clenched. “The police took care of him, and I hope the bastard will rot in jail.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll have to go to the police tomorrow. See what we have to do…I want him to get what he deserves.”

So far Spike had been in a numb state of mind, but now the events were starting to process, and anger was making its way. Riley was in the hand of the police, but he would have given a lot to spend a few minutes with him and rip his guts bit by bit.

He forced himself to calm down. “The doctor said we have to wait for her to wake up…that it could take some time,” he said, caressing Buffy’s hair.

Watching him, Willow guessed that more had happened between them during her honeymoon. The way he was looking at her, the pure anguish on his face, all his gestures were the concern of a lover more than just a stepbrother. Even a close one.

But of course it wasn’t the place or the moment to raise the subject. Willow just hoped that if her best friends had found happiness together, it wouldn’t be taken from them so brutally.

“Did you call her dad?” Xander asked.

Spike shook his head. “No. They arrive tomorrow morning. They will know soon enough. If I tell them now they will have an awful trip back.”

“You’re right,” Willow said, squeezing his hand gently.

“If you want we can wait for them at your house tomorrow morning, and drive them here,” Xander offered.

“That would be great. This way I don’t have to leave Buffy. But don’t you have to get back to work?”

“Not before Wednesday. We’re at your disposal tomorrow if you need anything.”

“Thanks mate,” Spike said, giving Xander a strong hug. It was good to have his friends back and to share a little of his grief.

“Do you want something to eat, or drink?” Willow asked again. “Have you eaten anything since this morning?”

Spike shook his head. He had heard his stomach growl several times, but at the same time the idea of food made him queasy. He had just drunk some water earlier from the bathroom.

“No, thanks Red. Maybe later.” He sat back on the chair. “You two should go. You probably have to unpack and everything. And jetlag can be a bitch.”

“We came as soon as we heard your message,” Xander admitted. “But we can stay if you need us. And you can come sleep at our place tonight.”

“I’m not leaving her.”

Willow frowned, concerned. “Spike, you’ll have to sleep a little bit at least.”

“Ill sleep here. I’m not leaving her,” he said stubbornly.

“Ok then. Call us as soon as she wakes up, ok? Even if it’s the middle of the night.”

“I will, I promise. Thanks for coming, guys.”

After giving kisses to Buffy, Willow and Xander left. Spike took her hand again, placing it against his cheek. “Hey there, sleepy head. You need to wake up. I want to see those beautiful eyes of yours. Please, baby…”

CHAPTER 14

Around five pm, his cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Spike, it’s Darla. I know you’re in Sunnydale but I wanted to let you know I was back. Is everything ok?”

Suddenly, hearing Darla’s soft voice was too much. He had spent all day balancing between several emotions, from fear, to numbness, to helplessness and anger. When Willow and Xander had come he had already been on the verge of breaking down. He had restrained himself several times, but now he was too tired to fight it.

He tried to say something, but only a chocked sound escaped from his throat.

“Spike? Are you crying? Oh God, what’s going on?”

He rubbed his hand on his chest, trying to explain the situation the best he could between the heart wrenching sobs.

“I’m coming,” Darla finally said.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

He put the phone on the table next to him and resumed his position at Buffy’s side.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Darla walked into the room silently. Spike was sitting beside Buffy, caressing her hair and whispering soft words to her.

Darla approached the bed and Spike turned his head, noticing her.

“Hey…”

He got up and took her in his arms. Or rather, she took him in hers.

She had never seen him like this. And she was positive it was the first time she had seen him cry. And why would he? He was a successful actor in a popular TV show, and more importantly he had a caring family and friends. He had no reason to be unhappy. Of course he had had bad days like anyone else, but nothing that would put him in the state she was witnessing now.

The remnants of tears were streaking his cheeks. He was dishevelled, and there were brownish spots on his shirt that were probably dried blood. But what struck her the most was the fear she read in his blue eyes.

“How is she?” Darla asked softly.

“Still unconscious. The nurse told me it was normal. She might not wake up before tomorrow morning. But it would be better if she woke up before the next 24 hours. If she doesn’t, then…”

He let the end of the sentence hang in the hair, passing his hand on his face with a tired sigh.

“You got here fast,” he noticed, looking at the clock on the wall.

“I…I called David, and a friend of his has a private jet. He brought me here.”

“David’s here?”

“No, he stayed in LA. He said to call if you needed anything.”

She watched him closely, worried by his more than usual paleness. “Spike, have you eaten anything today?”

“No, I was too…I couldn’t. I didn’t want to leave Buffy.”

“But you’ll be useless to her if you die of starvation,” she joked lightly. “Come on. The cafeteria is still open.”

“Darla, I don’t think…”

She glared at him. “Spike, that was an order. No discussion allowed.”

Spike looked at Buffy. The truth was, he was starting to feel slightly light-headed, and his stomach was growling unpleasantly. Maybe just a quick bite…

“All right, you bossy chit,” he finally gave in, and the barest hint of a smile appeared on his face. They walked out of the room, and Spike asked the nurse to let him know immediately if Buffy woke up while he was away.

The cafeteria was almost empty. Spike bought a sandwich, and Darla took just a coffee. They sat down and Darla stayed silent while Spike ate. He got a coffee too, and started to regain some colour.

“Thank you for coming,” he told her.

“It’s natural. I can only imagine how hard it must be. I know how much you love her.”

More than anything in this world,” he replied without thinking, just before realizing whom he was talking to.

Darla smiled at his contrite face. “Spike…don’t worry. I know. Well, I wasn’t totally sure until this very minute, but I had my suspicions.”

“Darla, I’m sorry. I wanted…”

She interrupted him. “I said not to worry. And to be honest…I’m in love with someone else.”

It took some time for the information to process, then Spike opened his eyes wide. “Huh?”

She smiled and took his hand. “Didn’t see that coming, did you?”

He shook his head. “Not really…that was supposed to be my line,” he said, chuckling softly. “And…who is it? Someone I know?”

Darla swallowed nervously. “It’s David.”

“David…you mean David, as in my cast mate?”

She nodded, unsure of his reaction. And Spike wasn’t sure about his reaction either. After all, David was his colleague and one of his best friends. Yet Darla and him and had managed to fall in love behind his back. He didn’t know what to feel about that.

Then again, he himself had fallen head over heels for Buffy, and hadn’t resist very much, sleeping with her while he was still engaged to Darla. So maybe he shouldn’t throw them too many stones.

“How did that happen?” he asked, curious nonetheless.

“Rather unexpectedly. I always had a nice relationship with him. Lately, we spent some time together. When I was with him, I had all those feelings…the kind of feelings I should have had for you. He didn’t press anything…I was the one who talked to him about it, and he confessed he loved me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I was feeling guilty. And David was feeling very bad about it, because he’s your friend. But we realized it would be stupid to go on like this. God knows I was feeling horrible when I decided to break up with you.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling, believe me.”

She smiled softly. “I guess the two of us just weren’t meant to be. And we were lucky to have figured it out before it was too late. Also extremely fortunate to have found our significant others in the process, don’t you think?”

“Yeah…I wish my significant other wasn’t laying in a hospital bed all battered and bruised,” he said, a cloud shadowing his face.

Darla squeezed his hand slightly. “She’ll be alright,” she told him with confidence.

Spike nodded, but the gloomy look on his face remained.

“So, tell me. How did it happen with the two of you?”

Like she had hoped, a faint smile reappeared on his face. “Like you, kinda out of nowhere. Although Buffy told me she had been in love with me for several years…and I begin to wonder if I wasn’t feeling the same way, without realizing it. I think it’s the kiss that started it.”

“The one that made the cover of the Hello magazine?”

“No. The first one we shared three years ago. The night of my mum’s funeral. I thought it had been done out of a need for comfort…until we kissed again on the back porch. That’s when I realized I had strong feelings for her, and not at all the brotherly kind. And too strong to be ignored. And God knows I tried, because at that moment I was really set on marrying you…there was no way I would take my word back. But it soon became an impossible situation. Like you said, what’s the point of staying with someone if you deeply love someone else? You’ll just end up make everyone unhappy. And when Finn hurt her the first time, I knew there was no way I could live without her.”

Spike smiled, feeling better now that he had explained it all to Darla, at being able to talk honestly to her, and better yet, to be able to do it without hurting her. That meant that their friendship wouldn’t suffer, which he valued greatly.

“You know that if you make your relationship with Buffy public – and you won’t really have a choice – you’ll have to explain why you lied about that kiss a few weeks ago.”

“I know. But believe me, it’s the farthest thing from my mind right now. I’ll deal with it when it’s necessary. Do you want something else?” he asked, noticing her cup was empty.

“No, thanks. I know you want to go back to her. And David’s friend is waiting for me at the airport. I’d better go.”

They went back to the hall and stopped in front of Buffy’s door. Spike took her in his arms. “Thank you so much for coming, Darla.”

She hugged him. “First and foremost, we are friends. I’m glad things are clear between us.”

“David is a lucky guy. I’ll make sure he realizes that,” Spike said with a smile.

“Oh, he does. It’s your friendship he was worrying about.”

“Tell him our friendship is ok as long as he treats you right.”

“And give Buffy a hug for me when she wakes up, ok?”

“I will,” he said, and for the first time he was feeling a little bit more optimistic.
She gave him a last hug before leaving. Spike came back into Buffy’s room and sat back on the chair. He caressed her face softly.

“I’m back, sweetheart. Hey, you know what? I just talked to Darla and we’re good. I’m a free man now. So you can wake up. We don’t need to hide or feel guilty anymore. I want to whole world to know how much I love you. And I need to hear you tell it to me.”

He rose slightly and placed a feather light kiss on her lips. “I’ll stay here until you wake up. I’ll be here when you open your eyes.”

He put his head on the sheet next to her arm and closed his eyes.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


He woke up by the feeling of a hand caressing his head. Groggily, he looked at Buffy and met her green gaze.

Her eyes were open, and she was looking at him with a soft smile.

CHAPTER 15


Spike was tempted to get up and do the dance of Joy, but it was barely 6 am and he felt rather sore because of his night spent on a chair. He also wanted to take her in his arms, but that was out of the question considering all the tubes and bandages.

So he just closed his eyes for a second, said a silent thank you prayer and let a welcomed giant wave of relief – make that a tsunami – overwhelm him.

He smiled back at her, caressing her cheek. “Welcome back, love.”

She looked around. “Am I in the hospital? What happened?” Her voice was a little bit hoarse and she cleared her throat.

“You don’t remember?”

She frowned, concentrating. “Hurts too much to think,” she finally said. “Hurts kinda everywhere,” she added, wincing.

Spike pressed the button to alert the nurse, who gave Buffy some painkillers and checked on her.

Soon after taking the pills, Buffy started to doze off again, sending a sheepish look to Spike. “I’m sorry. I can’t help but feel sleepy.”

He caressed her hair tenderly. “It’s alright. You just rest.”

“Stay?” she muttered.

“Not leaving you, my love. Ever,” he whispered, rising and kissing her lips, feeling overjoyed when she kissed him back. He had dreaded not getting to feel their softness against his anymore.

Once she was asleep, Spike let the tears run down his cheeks once again. But they were tears of happiness, and they felt damn good.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


Giles and Jenny arrived a few hours later. Spike was in the hallway and when Giles saw his face, he knew the news was good.

“She’s awake,” the younger man greeted them, a big smile spreading his lips.

Buffy’s eyes shined when she saw her dad walking into the room. Giles hugged her as much as he could without hurting her. He was horrified by her condition, but he hid it the best he could.

“Hey daddy. I’m glad you’re back.”

“My sweet darling…you gave us quite a scare, you know.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll be fine, don’t worry. How was your trip?”

Her eyes fluttered. She was under strong medication, and it made her sleepy.

“I’ll tell you all about it later. Now rest.” Giles stayed at her side for a few minutes. Jenny walked in, smiling. “How is she?” she asked, noticing the young woman was asleep.

“She’ll be fine…well, that’s what she said,” Giles sighed, and Jenny’s breath caught in her throat when she saw the damages on Buffy’s cheek.

“Oh my God, how could he do this to her? What kind of monster…”

“The kind that deserve to rot in jail,” Giles replied, trying to control his anger at the sight of his little girl lying in a hospital bed. “I need to talk to William. Can you stay with her?” he asked Jenny.

He found Spike sipping on a coffee in the hallway. “She still awake?” his stepson asked.

“She was, but she’s sleeping now. She’s terribly weakened.”

“Rupert, I’m sorry. I had promised you to…”

Giles put his hand on his shoulder. “William, don’t. This is not your fault. I met Riley several times, and I could never have imagined…please tell me that bastard is in the hand of the police.”

“He is. As soon as Buffy is released from the hospital she’ll have to give a declaration, the D.A will press charges, and hopefully he will be put behind bars for attempted murder. It should keep him there for a while.”

“But how did it happen?”

Spike told Giles the whole story, including that of Tara Maclay. “I can’t believe he tricked me so easily and that I left the house and Buffy alone like the stupid wanker that I am,” he finished, shaking his head in self-disgust.

“William, even if you hadn’t left, he would have found another way. You couldn’t lock yourself in the house with Buffy, could you?” Giles raised an eyebrow and smiled slightly. “Although from what I understand neither of you would have minded.”

He had the satisfaction of seeing Spike blush.

“I truly love her, you know. If she hadn’t been so badly wounded, I probably would have taken the time to kill Finn with my bare hands, and bugger the consequences. I stayed with her until she woke up. I wanted to be there when she opened her eyes.”

Giles nodded thoughtfully, before asking, “What about Darla?”

“We talked and broke our engagement. We’re fine.”

“Good, good. But it won’t be easy, you know that. You live in LA most of the time, Buffy lives in Sunnydale. You are famous, and used to a certain way of living…and you’re both still young.”

“We’re aware of that. And we’ll deal with those issues. We’ve already overcome some of them. To be honest, we didn’t talk about marriage or anything. It’s way too early. But we love each other deeply, and are willing to make the best out of it.”

Giles smiled. “I’m sure you will. I just want for Buffy and you to walk into this with your eyes wide open. I would hate to see either one of you hurt.”

“Thank you, Rupert,” Spike said, hugging his stepdad. It was another weight lifted, having his blessing. He loved and respected the man as much as his own father.
Giles and Jenny stayed most of the day, until Spike advised them to go home. The couple was starting to feel the effects of the trip and the jet lag, and since Buffy was now out of danger, they could go home and rest.

Xander and Willow came as well, and Buffy stayed awake long enough to talk to them for a little while.

Now everybody was gone. Spike had left for a few minutes to fetch something to eat. When he came back, her eyes were open.

“Hey, look who’s awake. How are you feeling, sweetheart?” he asked, kissing her forehead.

“Better. Not too sleepy. Can I have some water?”

He poured her a glass and helped her to drink.

“Thanks.” She pulled her hand from under the cover and intertwined her fingers with his. “I remember what happened. Riley came and attacked me. I opened the door without checking because I thought it was you coming back for your cell phone. It’s still kind of a blur, but I remember being sure I was going to die.”

“It’s that cell phone that saved your life. When I called Diego the second time and he told me he had never called…I’ve never been so terrified in my life. I think I broke all the speed limits. It’s a wonder I didn’t get arrested. I arrived at the house just in time.” He caressed her hair. “I’m sorry I left you. That was really stupid, especially since we knew he was a threat.”

She looked at him tenderly. “Well, we were both stupid then. I should have been more persuasive and made you stay. I could have chained you to the bed, for instance,” she said with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

He smiled. “I’m sure we’ll find other opportunities for you to do that.”

“What will happen to Riley?”

“The police took care of him. As soon as you get better, you’ll have to talk to the D.A who’ll press charges.”

“You’ll come with me, right?”

“Of course I will, pet. I’m here for you. As are Rupert, Jenny, Xand and Will. If you need to talk, or cry, or anything we are all here for you.”

“How was dad? I was so sleepy when he came. I barely talked to him.”

“He was extremely relieved to see you were doing well. And we have his blessing.”

“I know I talked to Xander and Willow, but again I wasn’t at my best. It must have been an exciting return from their honeymoon…not.”

“They were as terrified as I was. Xander brought your dad here this morning.”

“And you were here all the time,” she said with a tender smile.

“I never left your side, sweetheart. Well, except for that talk I had with Darla.”

“She came here?”

He nodded. “And guess what? She’s in love with someone else. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but I think that in the end she’s the one who broke up with me. The important thing is, we’re good. And…I’m free.”

Her eyes shined. “So does that mean you’re officially my guy?”

He kissed her hand. “I’m your guy, baby. As long as you’ll have me.”

“Oh, that could be a long time, you know.”

He shrugged. “Well, I’m free for the next 50 years.” He sat down on the bed and leaned into her, careful not to touch her upper body or disturb the tube coming out of her arm. “Don’t ever scare me like that ever again,” he whispered before pressing his lips gently to hers. But what was supposed to be a sweet and gentle kiss rapidly turned into something more passionate. Buffy moaned, and Spike pulled back immediately.

“Did I hurt you?” he inquired, concerned.

She giggled, blushing. “Uh, no. That was a satisfied noise. Kissing you is the best medication ever,” she added.

“Oh, good. Because I intend to overdose you then,” he said, caressing her hair and her face, marvelling at the fact that she was smiling and talking and kissing him when he had been so close to losing her.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


After a few days, Buffy managed to convince Spike to at least go back home during the night. He was starting to look worse than she did. So far he had just made quick back and forth trips to shower and change, and was staying at her side all night. Eventually, he agreed to go and sleep at home, after she had repeated for the umpteenth time that she wouldn’t vanish even if he stopped looking at her for more than five minutes.

But she was glad he was there, though, the first time she looked at her face in the mirror. Her left side was swollen and balancing between shades of green and violet. And she had stitches going through her entire cheekbone.

Spike was holding her hand, waiting for her to say something and offering as much comfort as he could.

“Ok. No Miss America pageant for me this year,” she joked, but her throat was constricted and her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. “That will leave me with a pretty scar, won’t it?”

“They did repair it the best they could. But it will leave a scar, yes. The doctor gave me the number of a plastic surgeon. You’ll decide what you want to do.”

Buffy put the mirror back and looked at him. “You’ll still love scarred me?”

He smiled and rolled his eyes. “Of course, you silly bint.”

She nodded and sighed. “Maybe I’ll get a role in the sequel of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’.”

“As long as you don’t leave me for Orlando,” he warned her.

She pulled him to her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”



TBC...

CHAPTER 16


The doctor finally released Buffy after a week, on the condition that she would rest and be under good care. She had to wear a support bandage for her ribs for another two weeks though, and she would have to come back to have the stitches on her cheek and wrist removed.

The morning of her departure, she was sitting on her bed, fully dressed, waiting for Willow and Xander to arrive.

“You’re happy to go home, baby?” Spike asked, smiling at her impatience.

“God yes! I really can’t stand this hospital room anymore. I mean, they were nice and all, but…”

“I understand.” He hesitated before adding, “I called the police and told them we would go tomorrow.”

“Ok. Will I have to see him?” she asked, referring to Riley.

“I don’t know the procedure. You might have too, yes, at least for the trial.”

“That’s ok. I can do it. You’ll be with me, right?”

He kissed her forehead. “Of course I will, sweetheart.”

“Good. I’ll be glad when it’s over,” she said, placing her head against his shoulder.

Xander and Willow arrived.

“Hey! Did somebody order a chauffeur?”

Buffy got up from the bed, carefully leaning on Spike. “I’ll get you a wheelchair,” he offered.

“No, please. I want to walk. I’ve been stuck in a bed for the last two weeks.”

“Also, I think you should know…there are some journalists waiting at the front door,” Xander said.

Willow grinned. “One of them recognized me!”

Xander glared at her. “And that makes you proud because…?”

She pouted. “What? Can’t I be shallow just once in my life?”

“Ok, first of all, how did they know I was going home today?” asked Buffy, amazed.

Spike sighed. “They always know. There’s always someone who’s willing to spill to get some dosh. But I don’t get what’s so bloody fascinating about me bringing back my girlfriend from the hospital. It’s not like I’m Brad Pitt or something.”

“Check out the Internet and you will understand,” Willow said with a smile. “There are tons of sites, chat groups dedicated to your show, and mostly about you. They even write fan fiction about you. Oh, and even slash fan fiction, where your character has sex with David’s…not that I read it,” she added hastily.

“I think I want to read those,” Buffy said, laughing.

“Girls, could we get back to a less disturbing subject?” Xander asked. “Like how to get out of here without Buffy and Spike being harassed by the paparazzi out there?”

Spike thought for a while before saying, “Actually, that could be a good opportunity to set things right. You feel up to it?” he asked Buffy.

“You mean go and talk to them about us?”

“Exactly. We give our version and we make it public. After that, it’s not our problem anymore. They can write whatever they want, at least we told them the truth. And there’s a good chance they won’t come lurking around the house hoping to get another saucy picture.”

Buffy smiled. “ You realize they will probably ask you about that, right?”

Spike shrugged. “I’m ready to come clean, for the sake of my girl,” he said, kissing the tip of her nose.
“I still have to get used to that ‘romance and flowers’ thing between you two myself, you know,” Xander joked.

“Ok then. Ready everyone?”

On their way out, Spike stopped at the reception desk to get the medication Buffy would need for the next few weeks.

As soon as they were outside, five journalists almost jumped on them.

“Spike, how is your stepsister?”
“Is she your stepsister or your girlfriend?”
“What about Darla?”

Spike raised his hand. “Hey, just one question at a time. I can answer some of your questions if you want, but not long because I want to take Miss Giles home. She needs to rest.”

“Spike, are you and Miss Giles a couple?”

“Yes, we are a couple.”

“Miss Giles, was Darla the one who attacked you?”

“Of course not,” Spike answered, rolling his eyes, and Buffy couldn’t help but smile at the ridiculous question.

“Did Darla and you break up?” another one asked.

“Darla and I are perfectly fine. That’s all you need to know.”

“So, the pictures we saw in the Hello magazine a few weeks ago were real, then? Why did you lie about that?”

“Because it was something private, that happened at a very bad time. I just wanted to protect Darla and Buffy. And for the record, and you can print that, I don’t want anyone holding a mic or a camera near Buffy. The first one I catch will be in big trouble. It’s just a friendly warning,” he said with a smile that proved the contrary.

He answered a few more questions, until he felt Buffy flinch slightly when one of them took a picture. He put a protective arm around her.

“That’s it guys. We’re going home now. Thank you for your understanding,” he said with a charming smile this time, directed to the women of the group. They didn’t protest too much and let them go.

“You really think they will leave us in peace?” Buffy asked him.

He smiled. “Not a chance in Hell, my love. It’s just another one of those things we’ll have to deal with.”

“You can still hope for Ben and Jen to finally get married. That should distract them for a while,” Xander said, starting the engine.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Spike put the popcorn in the microwave, whistling softly. Buffy and him were alone tonight, while Giles and Jenny were spending the evening at a restaurant. Buffy had been back for two days, and tonight they were planning to watch DVD’s in bed. It was not like they could do much else for the moment, considering that Buffy was still recovering and that any physical activity was strictly forbidden.

Finn, I really hope you’ll rot in Hell and suffer eternal torment, along with some painful, nasty diseases on your private parts.

Spike calmed down, thinking that Buffy was safe and in his bed, waiting for him. The phone rang, distracting him from his thoughts.

“Hello?”

“Hey Spike, it’s Willow. How’s our girl?”

“Bossing me around a little bit. I guess that means she’s getting better, so it’s all good.”

“Well, don’t let her go around any newspaper’ stands. I’m afraid your ‘coming out’ the other day wasn’t really useful.”

Spike sighed. “Colour me shocked. What do they say?”

“Well, most of them wonder how you could leave Darla for Buffy. Of course, the pictures shown are the ones taken at the hospital, so Buffy is not in her best shape, what with the scars and swelling. It says they hope she has some hidden talents to compensate for her not being, huh…pretty.”

“That is so bloody ridiculous! She had just spent a week in a hospital! She wasn’t supposed to look like a soddin’ Barbie doll.”

“ There are some testimonies from ‘close friends’ stating that they were really ‘astonished’ when you broke up with ‘gorgeous Darla’ to be with ‘plain Buffy.’ I’m just reading what’s written. But that’s just the trash papers. Some more serious ones are preferring to stick to the truth and describe your story as very romantic. But one says that Darla is the one who broke up with you because she had an affair with David.”

Spike laughed. “Well, they might not know this, but that’s probably the truest thing mentioned. Thanks for warning me, Willow. I’ll try to keep Buffy away from them. I don’t want to upset her now, especially with the Riley case.”

“Right. Let’s just hope nobody will hear about her loony ex-boyfriend that tried to kill her. Or is that wishful thinking?”

“I’m afraid so. She’ll have to learn to not let herself be too bothered by what she reads. I know she’s smart enough to do it. But it’s not always easy, because they can be pretty nasty sometimes.”

“That’s the burden of dating a hot Hollywood TV star,” Willow joked. “I’m sure she has other compensations though.”

“None that I’ll discuss with you on the phone, or elsewhere for that matter. Besides, I’m sure that husband of yours is waiting eagerly for you in the marriage bed.”

“Tell Buffy I’ll call her tomorrow, ok?”

“All right. Bye Red, and thanks.”

He hung up, shaking his head. He should have known the magazines wouldn’t respect anything. He really didn’t care if it concerned himself, but when it came to Buffy it was another story. Going out with her would inevitably put her under the spotlights. As a popular actor, it wasn’t easy to keep his private life, well, private. He had accepted it when he had gotten engaged to Darla. But Buffy…he really wasn’t willing to share what he had with Buffy. It was something so precious and unique, so intimate that he was more than reluctant to see it discussed in magazines. Then again, it was the downside of his job, and he would have to let go a little bit at least. He would do his best to protect Buffy from it, though.

Taking the now ready popcorn and two sodas, he went back to his room. He found Buffy standing near the window.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?”

She moved, revealing a pale pink candle. “I’m lightning a candle for Tara. I talked to her mom on the phone this morning. They stopped her respiratory machine yesterday. She’s been declared clinically dead.”

“I’m sorry, honey,” he said softly, taking her in his arms and rocking her gently.

“You’re shivering,” she told him.

“I’m just thinking that I was very close to losing you, and the thought is so dreadful that I don’t even want to go there.”

She put her head in the crook of his neck. “Well, you can relax. I’m here now, safe in your arms.”

“And that’s where I intend to keep you,” he answered, kissing the top of her hair.

“It’s strange, cause I never met Tara, but I feel very sad, like I lost a long-distance friend. I wish she had had a caring stepbrother to watch over her.”

He pulled her away slightly. “How about we banish the words stepbrother/sister from our vocabulary?”

“What do you suggest?”

“We could go with girlfriend/boyfriend for a start…and see where it goes from there,” he said, and Buffy felt butterflies in her stomach at all the promises she read in his eyes.

EPILOGUE


“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” the reverend said with a smile.

Everybody clapped and cheered when Rupert leaned in to press a soft kiss on Jenny’s lips.

A few days after Buffy’s return from the hospital, they had confessed that Giles had proposed to Jenny during their trip in England, but the unexpected events had made them postpone the announcement. Buffy liked Jenny very much, and the only thing that mattered was seeing her father happy. As happy as she was with Spike.

They had been together officially for three months now, and things were going great. Of course there were still some issues to be dealt with. Since August Spike had been back to Los Angeles for the shooting of the new season. He tried to come back to Sunnydale whenever he could, and Buffy sometimes went to LA. Spike had recently talked about buying their own house, halfway between both cities, although closer to Sunnydale. That way Buffy could keep her job at Sunnydale High, and they would stay close to their family and friends. Spike didn’t mind the journey, and just in case he needed to stay in LA for some reason, he was keeping his apartment. But he had gotten so used to having his girl welcome him every night and taking good care of him that he would keep the overnight stays at his apartment to a strict minimum.

There had been fewer glares towards them this time, even if some people were still whispering about it and watching them not always very discreetly. But Buffy and Spike had decided to just ignore them.

For now they were sitting in a shadowy part of the big canopy where the wedding party was taking place. This time it was hosted at Jenny’s parent’s house.

Spike had put his arm around Buffy’s shoulders and she was leaning against his chest. From time to time he placed small kisses on her temple and hair. She had put some make-up on and the scar on her cheek was less visible. She had decided to wait a little bit before calling a plastic surgeon. It wasn’t as horrible as she thought it would be, and Spike didn’t seemed to mind. In fact, since that event, he seemed to be even more loving and protective. And she certainly wasn’t one to complain about it.
“What are you thinking about, love?” he asked softly.

She smiled. “I was thinking about how my dad and Jenny look happy together. As Xander and Willow are, and probably as we are.”

“I never thought we would make it this far,” he admitted. “So many problems we thought insurmountable, and well…here we are.”

“Because we love each other. And like that guy said once in your show ‘Love is forever’”.

“Well, yeah, but he said it just before shooting his girlfriend. So probably not the best reference, sweetheart.”

“Oh, right. I had forgotten about that part. Never mind. It works for us anyway, doesn’t it?”

“Forever indeed,” he whispered, before kissing her tenderly. Then they resumed their position, watching people on the dance floor.

Spike let a chuckle escape.

“What?”

He smirked. “I was just remembering the last wedding we attended…and our little escapade.”

“Oh, right. Our first time…one of my fondest memories,” she said with a wicked smile.

“Mine too. But I guess we shouldn’t make an habit of it,” he replied with a false resigned sigh.

Buffy was silent for a minute before asking, “We shouldn’t?”

Spike seemed to think about it. “Well, that wouldn’t be very proper. Unless…”

“Unless…?” she pressed him, giggling.

“Unless we make it a tradition. Then of course, that’s something you’ve got to respect. What do you say?” he asked, with an evil glint in his blue eyes.
Buffy whispered something in his ear that made him smile broadly. Then she got up and left.

A few minutes later, he got up as well.

He had a tradition to respect, and an amazing girl to love.

THE END


Well, this is the end, and I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it.
I want to thank everyone who took the time to give feedback, I really appreciate it ;o)
A thank you to my friend Susanne for being very supportive and encouraging me about writing an AU.
And of course, this wouldn’t be readable without the help of my wonderful beta’s, Pam and Yani.
Thank you Pam for being so efficient and fast ;o)
Thank you Yani, you started as my beta and you ‘ended’ as a great friend, so I’m the real winner here ;o)
Hope the ending met your expectations, thank you again for reading me and giving your appreciations.

Sophie ;o)